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Note: This is an edited version of a response I gave a couple of weeks ago on asktrp. Rewriting and posting here so more people will see it.

So you're at the point in life where you feel like you ought to start getting shit figured out, but somehow--almost certainly due to your own ignorance and sloth--things just never started coming together for you, and you spend all your free time playing Fortnite and masturbating. I can't do anything about your sloth, but after reading this post, hopefully you won't be quite so ignorant.

Getting your shit together involves a three-pronged attack.

ONE: GET YOUR UNDERLYING STATS UP

Part of the reason you feel so anxious and helpless is because you have it in your head that you're worthless. Maybe not completely worthless, but other people your age are miles better than you, and both you and they know it. Before you can start telling yourself, "Fuck those people, I know I'm awesome" you have to be somewhat awesome, or at least well on your way there. Your tasks are:

  • Take school seriously. Keep those grades high.
  • Lift weights. Eat a diet high in protein. Add muscle. Shed body fat. If you're a giant fatass, cut back to one meal a day, low carbs.
  • Dress better. Get a halfway decent haircut. I don't care if you decide to sit on your ass all day and not talk to anybody, but you aren't going to look like a total slob doing it.
  • Clean up your room, your locker, your car. You might be ashamed of yourself, but there's no reason to be ashamed of the space you inhabit. Stop sabotaging yourself; it's not that fucking difficult to be tidy.
  • This can come a little bit down the road, but learn how to cook. If you don't know how to change your oil, you can take it to a mechanic and be pretty sure they'll do a competent job. If you don't know how to nourish yourself, you can go to a restaurant, and while they may do a competent job of making your taste buds happy, they sure as hell aren't going to make sure your body is fueling itself with the correct mix of macronutrients. Learning to make cheap, healthy food taste good will do so much to improve your day-to-day experience that it's unreal.

TWO: GET YOUR HEADSPACE RIGHT

Most of you assholes have convinced yourself that you have some kind of depression. Maybe you do, maybe you don't, but either way, your batteries are probably sitting on low. That means you aren't going to want to do much of anything. OK, fine. You're going to have a lot of free time. I don't care what you fill it with, but stop filling it with crap. The key is to avoid short-term dopamine hits, because those will make your brain chemistry even worse.

  • No porn. No elaborate jack-off sessions. Take two minutes every few days to check that the ol' prostate is still working, then move on with your day; don't weave some elaborate fantasy out of it.
  • I'll say it again, no porn. Seriously. That shit rewires your brain. You want to get horny when you see a cute girl your age wearing a nice outfit, not inure yourself to the female form so much that you can only get hard if you're watching a dozen black dudes in horse masks tag-team a pregnant midget. That's what happens when the "regular stuff" stops doing it for you. And the "regular stuff" isn't that fucking regular anyway.
  • No videogames. For most of you, this will be harder to cut than porn, if not downright impossible. So let's say no more than 30 minutes to start with. And if you're going to play, try to play with someone that you know rather than just sitting there alone. The more you start getting your other shit together, the more you're going to realize videogames are a giant waste of time unless they're a social activity. (And the more you start moving in social circles that have successful people in them, the more you're going to realize that winners do other things besides play videogames when they get together, but that's an epiphany for a later date.)
  • No caffeine. Caffeine fucks your sleep. Now, you aren't going to be able to cold-turkey porn, videogames, and caffeine all at once, and I'd put caffeine at the bottom of that list, but coffee is a crutch, and nobody learns how to walk--much less run--if they're stuck relying on a crutch. If you're drinking soda, cut that shit immediately, though... it's about the worst stuff you can possibly fuel your body with, and it'll rot the teeth out of your head.
  • Get off Reddit. Or at least unsubscribe from subs where the whole idea is to point at people and laugh at how stupid they are. Same thing goes for "outrage porn" that reinforces how dumb/evil/corrupt the people on the opposite side of the political spectrum are. How the fuck does that help you get in a frame of mind to succeed?
  • Ditto the YouTube videos you watch and the books you read. Watch, listen to, and learn from people that you admire, not people that you disdain. There are lots of people out there that do have their shit together, and they're more than willing to tell you how they did it for free. In this day and age, the only excuse for not knowing how to do some basic shit is not having the willingness to seek it out.
  • Don't binge Netflix shows.
  • YES to reading, exercise, yoga, walking the dog, hobbies like painting or woodworking where you are making something in the real world, a part-time job, doing chores, writing, volunteering. Stop thinking you don't have time to do stuff. Almost all of you are wasting 4+ hours a day between videogames, Reddit, YouTube, PornHub, and Netflix. If you set yourself a rule to avoid all that crap, you'd be amazed how much of your day still needs to be filled with something. You can make it something worthwhile.
  • To elaborate on those last two bullets, do you know how many basic bitches--both male and female--are on dating apps thinking that the stuff that they consume is what defines their personality, rather than the stuff they produce. It is not to your credit that you like The Office. A retarded turtle could like The Office. Define yourself by what you're able to do, not by what other people have made.
  • Get more sleep. That means quality sleep when it's dark outside, not lying in bed until fucking noon. Don't keep your phone or your laptop within ten feet of your bed. Don't read them in bed, ever. If it's 10:30 at night and you aren't tired, that means you should have been more physically active during the day. You can simulate the effect by taking a long, cold shower. Stand under the water until your teeth are chattering, then stay there for another 7-8 minutes.

THREE: UNCALCIFY YOURSELF SOCIALLY

Here's something a lot of people don't realize. In the absence of major trauma like going to war or losing a parent (and no, losing a girlfriend is nowhere near being in the same ballpark; women are replaceable), once you've broken through a particular type of social anxiety, it's gone forever. There's little to no backsliding. Exposure therapy is the thing. Go do shit that scares you a little bit. It might take three or four times before it stops scaring you at all, but once that problem is solved it's fucking solved for good.

Go talk to people just for shits and gigs. Tell a stranger at the park you like their shirt. Sign up for stuff that you have a legitimate interest in, even if you suck right now and don't know anybody who'll be there. Work out at the gym and then strip down naked and take a shower in front of people. This stuff if only difficult because you have a mental block--chip away at the block; it doesn't grow back.

Now let's talk a little bit about alcohol and weed. A lot of people will tell you that alcohol and weed will help loosen you up, while other people will tell you that weed and alcohol are vices that distract way too many people away from their purpose. Both sides are correct; this is a nuanced subject.

  • Will these drugs open you up socially? Yes. (Though weed can also make you a paranoid wreck and keep you inside on the couch.)
  • Do these drugs give your charisma score a boost? No. If you can't talk to women because you have social anxiety but are otherwise an interesting person, alcohol might help open you up. If women don't want to talk to you because you're a boring fuck, alcohol won't help at all.
  • Should you go to a social event where there'll be drinking and smoking? Maybe. Is it a chill environment with people you trust? Then probably. If you get caught, are you going to lose your job or get kicked off the track team? Then probably not.
  • Are you a giant pussy if you don't drink or smoke? At any one time, no. But over the course of your entire young adulthood, yeah you probably are. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you're a pussy becauseyou don't drink or smoke. I'm saying that you're probably a pussy in general, and not drinking or smoking is just a symptom of that. Going out and getting drunk might help you uncalcify yourself socially, but it's a small part in getting your shit together, and learning how to not be a pussy in general is a much more important thing to learn. In fact, if you lean into weed or alcohol too hard, it becomes counterproductive. Speaking of which...
  • Is getting high or drunk an accomplishment? No! This is one that took me a long time to learn. In my teens, I was a pussy-ass introvert with social anxiety. As I improved, I found myself with more and more plans to go out on Friday and Saturday nights. At first, getting drunk with friends seemed like a pretty cool achievement, since it was something I never had the balls to do in high school. But as you take stock of What Did I Accomplish This Week, let me tell you, getting hammered doesn't belong anywhere near that list beyond maybe the first time.

LASTLY

Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't get lazy, but as long as you're getting better at something over the course of any given 3-4 day period, you're on the right track. You don't have to do everything at once. What will kill you is fucking backsliding. Don't backslide. Though inevitably you will here and there. When that happens, don't throw your hands up and think all is lost and go back to the sack of shit you were before. Move past it and keep plugging away. Progress isn't linear. Don't get discouraged. It does get easier. Like they say, nothing succeeds like success. Winning at life produces a positive feedback loop. The more shit you get under your control, the easier everything else becomes.

And to hell with the people who will try to keep you down, but that's a post for another day.


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[–]_A_L_3_X_ 244 points245 points  (35 children)

Important for teenage lifting:

Do not cut as a teenager(As long as your not fat). It will only slow progress and without the apropriate muscle you will look like shit, even when you are 'lean'.

On top of that more muscle will make it easier to shred fat, hence you burn more cal. every day.

[–]MacNulty 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Yup that's the only time in your life when you have natural growth hormone raging, use it.

[–]DiosJ 11 points12 points  (3 children)

No. I would recommend buying a bf waight ( even if there are inaccurate they are consistint in its own measurements) and diating down to 10%. From there u start lean bulking 250 cal over your tdee until 15% bf. And repeat the proccess. Trust me it's so much more motivating actually seeing your muscles getting bigger instead of hiding behind fat. Also the fatter you get the more permanent fat cells you become. So NEVER get to more bf % then you have ever been in your life exept you were always under 15%

[–]_A_L_3_X_ 4 points5 points  (2 children)

its better to get a bf calliper, theire more accurate for tracking much cheaper(like 2eur from china).

[–]thesnowman17 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Calipers are probably the worst way to accurately check bf. there good for measuring ur progress but not for an actual bf estimation

[–]victimization 19 points20 points  (29 children)

I’m 169lb right now. 6 feet 1 15% bf.

18 year old male .

Should I keep cutting till I see six pack? Or just maintain/ recomp.

I started at 210lb 25% bf . In February. Cut 41 pounds so far, to 169.

Or does this advice only apply to people younger than me lol.

I lift daily, and do pull-ups every morning. Plus swimming

[–]distinctspy 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Dude, don’t cut the swimming. I swam all through my teen years and it was the best thing I ever did. Builds a great foundation, helps flexibility, cardio, and breathing. Plus if you are 25%bf and wanna cut that down swimming will do the trick

[–]victimization 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Nah, I’m not 25% bf anymore lol. I cut 41 pounds so far. Calipers are saying I’m around 15% . Currently. & yeah I love swimming doubt I’ll cut it out .

[–]dusara217 5 points6 points  (0 children)

15% is considered healthy by virtually any standard out there. The ideal body fat range would probably be between 8-12% depending on your body type, but there's really no point getting there until you're pretty jacked. You might want to stick to some gain-taining or clean bulking until you've put on enough muscle to be extremely confident in your body before you consider cutting down to anywhere near the single digits. That said, being lean is an anabolic state - that is to say, you put on more muscle when lean than you would when fat. I'm gonna link a video of Jim Stoppani talking about his experience putting on muscle when lean, as he influenced my view on this pretty heavily.

https://youtu.be/7sd1h058FyY

[–]loloLogic 6 points7 points  (16 children)

Eat at maintenance (not a cut or a bulk) with at least 1g protein and no more than 1/2g fat per pound of bodyweight. You'll end up with a visible six pack as you build muscle, you've still got 7 years of potential height growth and an insane metabolism. Don't starve the beast, just track your macros.

[–]0newinged 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Half a gram of fat per lb? Fuck that. Drop the carbs. Make fat your main source of energy. Eat meat and fat. Make your body used to using fat as fuel instead of being in a near constant state of insuline, which is a energy storing mode instead of burning. I won't say go keto, but 70-90% of your kcal should be fat.

[–]Username_nof 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I lost around 44lbs doing low carb and sometimes keto, definitely works and improved my health.

[–]victimization 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So you think for my weight & height I should be cutting carbs still? I’m 169lb 6’1 ft. And thanks for the advice!

So high fat / protein . Low carb ?

Eating at maintenance? Or still cut a bit? My goals aren’t being a body builder . But being lean, having beach bod, athletic 10% body fat skinny ripped/shredded basically

[–]0newinged 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Keto is a fat burning type of diet. It shows great results. Carnivore also, but is more frowned about. Even diets like vegan diets (which i won't ever recommend) has benefits. The thing is that you shouldn't follow a diet just because. You should study nutricion and learn why the benefits happen and what the downsides are and create your own diet based on that.

For example high fat low carb type pf diets work on getting your body fat adapted, which means it gets better at using fat for energy. It also lowers hunger because what we know as hunger is a low blood glucose level because of insuline stimulates the storing of energy and thus making it hard to burn fat. Being fat adapted is just burn whatever you need for energy. Consumed or stored.

Now on the amount of kcal you consume a day. You're young and your body is still developing. Going on a surplus could have a bad effect on development. I'd say consume 2000-2500kcal a day. High fat low carb diets also stimulate the consuming of red meats. Those increase testostron and thus makes it easier to gain muscle. Meat also has all the proteines you'll need.

All this aside, look into nutrition yourself before jumping on a diet. Knowing what your body needs and which types of food you should eat will be something you'll benefit from for the rest of your life.

[–]loloLogic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the best way to put on muscle for an active person.

[–]_A_L_3_X_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i tried that and i function much better on mostly meat and carbs. but thats just personall andeverybody has to work that out for himself.

[–]0newinged 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It depends on how long you tried low carbs and what kind of energy you need.

Adaptation period for letting your body learn to use fat is 1 to 3 months. Also if you need explosive energy instead of stable energy then carbs are better. Still lowering carbs to 100g a day is never a losing tactic.

[–]FUCK_SNITCHES_ -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

7 years of potential height growth

Fucking what? Lmao growth plates usually close around 16

[–]loloLogic 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Men can continue to get taller until they're 25.

[–]TheEgyptianConqueror 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can, but It it's highly unlikely.

[–]FUCK_SNITCHES_ 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Source. I can find neither scientific nor anecdotal evidence for that. Stop giving me false hope

[–]JTPish 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Can confirm, am physician. I have seen it in quite a few patients, although they are usually athletes, and it's only 0.5-1". The reason for this is, growth of the long bones is stimulated by the impact of athletic activity.

[–]pico_graham_4_13 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What kind of athletic activity?

[–]JTPish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Running, jumping, lifting. Basic school and college sports training

[–]Kenshiro_V 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of athletic activity?

[–]TheEgyptianConqueror 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the short club little one. It truly is the dark side

[–]AbstractWidth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

15% bf

Should I keep cutting till I see six pack?

No this is pretty much the healthiest bodyfat level. Don't worry about "the six pack".

[–]already_arrived 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you're only 18, I would say eat a slight surplus, cut the swimming, and focus on a modified strength training routine. Over the course of a few years you will have gained muscle AND have visible abs.

[–]_A_L_3_X_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i would say it applies to everybody who is not fully developed, so maybe untill something like 21-25.

I am about to turn 18 and i personally enjoy beeing on the bulky side. it gives me the energy i need for the day and my heavy ass workouts, without feeling shitty, hungry and tired, but also makes me look a bit bigger. i still have a bit of a six pack, but who cares about that when you have a nice V, big shoulders and bicpes, and can make your chest bounce. also the only thing i have to care about daily is getting enough protein, so no counting macros and that bs.

[–]xrKles 56 points57 points  (3 children)

This is what he TRP is really about. Sums up pretty much everything.

I’ll try out the cold shower tip for sleeping earlier. I’ve been trying to replace my phone with a good book before bed.

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat[S] 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Sums up pretty much everything.

Interestingly, you'll notice the post barely mentioned women. Knowing how to handle shit-tests and LMR and all that is very useful stuff, and there's a reason that Step One is reading the sidebar, but we get a lot of guys here who need to know how to start at Step Zero.

[–]xrKles 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I was going to mention that. I generally avoid the endless posts about “how to fuck bitches.” But your title caught my eye.

Once you do everything you mentioned above, everything else will fall into place.

[–]Jaxx_Teller 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is the first post I've read in 6 months-1 year on this sub that seemed to actually offer something valuable/motivational. I cringe so hard at 95% of the posts here nowadays, full of beta revenge fantasies.

What's worse is that now that I have made this statement, the mods will probably be up my ass about posting a "meta complaint" smh

[–]ManOfFlesh101 43 points44 points  (5 children)

+10000 on dropping videogames.

I have been a hardcore gamer for years. Over 4000 hours in Elite: Dangerous in three years, plus hundreds of hours in Forza: Horizon 3 and Call of Duty. It was awesome, serious clan wars with friends and actual drama and stuff, but it does nothing but evil to your life. Stop playing videogames right now and instead workout, get enough sleep, or go outside to explore the world (there's a lot to find even in your area where you live).

Videogames offer a great amount of satisfaction nd it's easy to achieve, it will easily fool you into thinking that it's more worth than real life satisfaction and enjoyement because there's basically no investment. But once you start going out there and you live, real life success is just priceless and overshadows videogames by miles.

I stopped playing all videogames months ago and I fee better all round. More energic, more satisfied from life, I'm more social, more confident, I enjoy little things like cleaning up or making someone laugh.

Same goes for porn and jerking off. It's an easy way of recieving satisfaction and it easily makes you believe that it's worth over the real things due to requiring less investment. It tricks your mind into being lazy and causes you to stop even trying to get the real thing because "porn's good enough anyway".

Life's just 100% better this way, no downsides, no regrets.

[–]jellyman643 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Mind telling us how you quit porn /video games? Currently struggling with both .

[–]FeddoX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

With games I can help my friend. I was a hardcore addict too and since I sold all my gaming equipment (mouse, keyboard, pc, controllers, cringy blue gaming-headset...) 10 months ago I bought a new notebook.

It has a very low end graphics card so gaming is not possible (but 100% fine for any task you throw at it besides gaming). Let me tell you that this was the only effective method to stop my addiction. I have never looked at a flashy game screens since 10 months and have no desire to do so anymore.

Keep in mind that there is a reason that you have an addiction. For example, you want to be distracted from some thoughts or you want to justify being lazy. You need to dig into you and get to the reason on why you want to distract yourself. The craving for gaming will come in the first week Ask yourself: What do I want to suppress?

Watch out for new addictions like YT, reddit, TV or porn. In the first month I stopped gaming I began to watch youtube 2-3 hours a day. But I swiftly saw the new addictions form and cut them by the root.

[–]Andragorin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So, you played mindless shooters, race games, space grinds and nothing else?

[–]ManOfFlesh101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few side games for a couple of hours as well. The number I mentioned, 4000 hours, is just Elite itself. Played many more at the same time. Too many to list. Waste of time.

[–]Buckergat 124 points125 points  (16 children)

Can’t stress the video game part enough. I never really realized how addicted I was until my computer broke - I couldn’t help but go to a nearby Internet cafe almost daily. I understood that it had to stop, and even though it took a while for it to improve, half a year later I don’t even have the urge to play anymore. I was surprised by the amount of free time I now have, which I spend on developing and improving useful skills. Great post!

[–]Blackhawk2479 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This applies to social media too, people don’t realise how much of their life they are wasting on that shit daily.

I don’t miss Facebook or twitter at all. Never had IG or Snapchat so couldn’t miss them if I wanted to.

[–]BaLahKie 59 points60 points  (3 children)

I mean video games are like any other activity. They are a problem if they are getting in the way of other things. I’ll play a couple hours in the evening every couple of days, but only after I’ve done everything else I’ve needed to do (e.g., hit the gym, cooked dinner, prepared for work the next day, etc.). Having them as a hobby isn’t inherently unhealthy. It’s when it starts becoming the thing you do over everything else that it becomes an issue

[–]IBeMadToo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It doesn't help that most video games nowadays are engineered to make you addicted.

[–]Soon_As_I_Nut 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Generally those that say this are unfortunately the ones who cannot control their urges.

[–]gpravda 17 points18 points  (7 children)

I don't know what it is, but there's something about deciding to be successful that just stops you from playing. Right now I have a dozen games installed in my computer, and I'd love to play them, seriously, but I can't.

I'll play something tonight after I finish my tasks (reading TRP content is the one I'm doing rn), but it already feels kinda uncomfortable because it's not productive. I hope my life keeps going this way - I'm so fucking tired and angry at being a failure.

[–]BaLahKie 7 points8 points  (1 child)

To each their own I suppose. From a monetary perspective, you could call me extremely successful and I still enjoy playing the odd video game here and there. Like I said in my comment above, there’s nothing wrong with any particular hobby; it only becomes an issue when that hobby turns into something you HAVE to do every day and is something you do in lieu of anything else.

For me, I work in private equity. Playing video games for a couple hours every couple of days is relaxing and a good way for me to take a brief break from the constant flow of work and get a couple of hours to just sort of switch my brain off and chill out.

[–]1warlordchad 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Also: GET. THE. FUCK. OFF. SOCIAL. MEDIA. If you want to have an account, fine, but the ONLY good reason to have that shit, especially Insta, is if you’re using it to talk to hot girls. If OP said this already in the post, oh well, it bears repeating. 99% of it is a waste of time.

[–]1Obediah_Stane 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agreed, social media is pure cancer.

[–]BaLahKie 2 points3 points  (1 child)

In addition to talking to hot girls, I’d also add that it can be a useful dread game tool when utilized properly

[–]1warlordchad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. That and pre-selection. Guys these days should have accounts that are well cultivated to show them having fun, traveling, and with other hot girls—and then almost never use them.

[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't definitely say so.

Nowadays, most events are posted on FB, clubs/bars rarely post posters in the city anyway. I mean, I could maybe get informations about events from people, but that takes time and a lot of people which I should contact, it's much easier to just type in the bar I want and check if they've got sth. Also, via FB events you can find interesting stuff to do in the city for the week(end).

About IG, it's good for fitness related tips and other stuff that interests you. It's just hard to not follow stupid stuff/IG whores. If you can pull off following only quality content, IG is not bad.

I'm not saying social media is good, it definitely isn't, but if you can control yourself, they can be great tools for some stuff.

[–]Earthonaturtle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

After a while you don’t even miss gaming. It’s hard to imagine ever having wasted so much time on a fantasy world

[–]the99percent1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dont be so harsh. Video games actually give you some good life lessons. Such as grinding, accomplishment is hard work, and you do build some friendship if you played with your buddies.

But with all things in life, moderation is key. Video games should start becoming lower priority and only used as reward for accomplishing your daily objectives.

One thing OP didnt mention was scheduling and setting objectives you want to accomplish in a day. It's super effective and makes you more productive.

[–] points points

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[–]TheBearJew6779 28 points29 points  (4 children)

An appreciation for philosophy can help someone who's looking for a framework for life guidance. When I was eighteen, my Dad got me a copy of Miyamoto Musashi's Book of Five Rings. I read it and gave it deep thought which, combined with extensive conversations with my Dad about it gave me a solid framework moving forward. Now my experience may be different from most. I was an athlete all through highschool and then in college, while also living on a cattle ranch and being a ranch-hand my entire life before going off to university. I also went to college with the singular ambition of joining the military after, and was largely a model student. I had excellent grades aside from a couple hiccups in my first year (I got very sick, causing me to miss a lot of classes over the course of several weeks and was arbitrarily grade reduced but I more than made up for that later), I rarely drank, never used drugs, was an avid bodybuilder from the time I was in my early teens, so my mental faculties were probably more ready to accept Musashi's "be a warrior in all that you do" philosophy. Still, I think for someone who is just looking for a better method to frame their mind, Musashi is a good place to look.

Religion I disagree with. I myself am deeply religious but that's because I choose to be. I believe in God, but I don't think forcibly adopting religion to gain a value system is meaningful or helpful. Faith is something that an individual either has, or doesn't. Holding to belief in a higher, spiritual authority with certain guiding principles is something the individual has to decide fits their own ethos, and cannot be meaningfully forced. There's nothing wrong with it either way, I just think the non-faithful individual may obtain far greater intrinsic value from secular philosophy than religion for those reasons.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just picked up the Book of Five Rings from my library. How would you suggest learning from it? I'm about halfway done with my first read through and have been slowly chipping away while thinking about different points, but it's difficult to crack. I'll read it fully through once more for sure, but for now, any tips on getting the most out of it?

[–]MatrixofLe3adership 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I visited a ranch, and they had a few cattle. After watching a huge bull with massive dangling testicles constantly try to mount the females (who inevitably put up token resistance), I always remember:

Be the horny bull

[–]ias18 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Getting away from nihilistic thoughts or shallow understanding of Nietzsche. These had devastating effects during my undergrads. I agree with adopting values and principles that guide one's way. However, strongly disagree with getting religious. There is nothing worse than living in an illusion that you own the whole truth.

[–]RedVelocitiy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Existentialism fucked me up. I do not recommend.

[–]CasuallyDoingShit 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nah, not religion, adapting a religion for values is a little extreme and religion in my experience is so shady and constricting it’s not worth it.

[–]themackattack90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with not adapting religious values for your own, but I think it’s more nuanced than that. I’m against accepting anybody else’s values as your own. Be capable of critical thought and develop your own values based on your own experiences and priorities and make certain they are based in fact and logic and not emotion. You decide what is best for you, what is important to you, and what qualities you are looking for in the people around you.

[–]holdenscofield 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Nicely collected advices. good post

[–]imPwP 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Just tell me WHY we are quarantined again? Such wonderful posts are so much more helpful than PC culture subreddit shits.

[–]Ganadorf 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Aware men are counter intuitive to the world they want

[–]rnsbrum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because we see life as it is, and not as some progressive would like it to be.

[–]Torabor64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because of all the posts that say women are like children that they don't know what they want or judging them for the sexual choices you all assume they have, among many other things.

[–]Ethifury 25 points26 points  (8 children)

Why is this only aimed “up to 25 years olds”? Shouldn’t this be at least up to 30?

[–]someonesopinion6969 15 points16 points  (6 children)

He's probably under 30 etc

[–]Ethifury 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Probably. My only issue with cutting it off at 25 is that men don’t fully mature UNTIL 25. So at 25 years old, us men are JUST starting to figure shit out. I know I didn’t start to approach life differently until shortly after my 25th birthday. Outside of that, everything he stated is correct.

[–]someonesopinion6969 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yep same here mate, 25 is when I literally started putting shit together. If I was 16 and discovered red pill, I'd probably ignore half the shit here. His suggestions are great for becoming a man though but it's not to say we can't take the advice either

[–]Ethifury 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Exactly. The advice still works for those who are on the turning point of their life.

[–]SnivelingCoward 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Isnt every man in a positive transition at a "turning point" in life?

*hits blunt

I feel that growth only happens in this stage. A "made man" is still have turning points in his late 40s for example, if he is breaking thru to the next level or echelon of his career/life.

[–]VinterBot 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I hit 25 this year. I wholeheartedly concur.

[–]adminsaregayniggers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

eh if you're 30 and still fucked it's a pretty uphill battle

[–]NobodyP1 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Been doing a version of that since January. How I pretty much quit video games was because Fortnite made a bad update and I’ve haven’t gone back for the game since. I only play video games here and their but not near as much as I’m used to and I’m very proud of myself

[–]coopdawgX 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Fortnite is to the point where it’s not even fun for casual players anymore, and that was the only game i played, so getting rid of my Xbox was easy.

Now i look at my friends who still play and somehow justify pouring hours into the game just to win 6 out of every 100 games. I just don’t get it. There are so many other things I’ve been able to do since getting rid of my Xbox

[–]rnsbrum 8 points9 points  (1 child)

play and somehow justify pouring hours into the game just to win 6 out of every 100 games. I just don’t get it. There are so many other things I’ve been able to do since getting rid of my Xbox

I've been there. You enjoy the sense of getting better everyday, the feeling of being in control, and then you get a big reward when you get a win and it all works out.

Just look at dudes playing WoW, all the hard work to get the best gear and excel at PVP or PVM... They just don't realize that there is an even better RPG, its called REAL LIFE! If they thought of real life as a game, they would be winning too!

[–]AliYaHaydarYaHussein 6 points7 points  (0 children)

These 'grindy' video games are purpose-built to get inside your brain's reward mechanism.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fortnite did you a favour then, go grind some real value

[–]Irtotallynotrobot 46 points47 points  (4 children)

If people are giving you shit about curbing alcohol, order tonic and lime. Nobody will notice the difference.

[–]AbstractWidth 42 points43 points  (1 child)

If people are giving you shit about curbing alcohol, get new friends.

[–]randomTATRP 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If people are giving you shit about curbing alcohol, don't give a fuck and drink what you usually drink anyway.

[–]I_Love_Every_Woman 19 points20 points  (14 children)

  1. What is Backsliding?

  2. I've started to quit Video Games but Porn is too hard man. Like i can't stay 2-3 days without jerking off. Sure i can stay if im somewhere new or if i'm travelling. But if i'm home alone then its difficult af.

  3. Thanks for the post.

[–]IntensePancakes 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Learn to jerk off without porn.

[–]Dat_Black_Guy 16 points17 points  (1 child)

This is sublimely genius

I thought back to when I was struggling with looking at porn.

Thinking back about the jacking off this morning..

Instead of trying to quit porn and masturbating together I should have thought about it like this.

Okay you're horny? Cool, jerk off but...No porn!

Are you still horny Then do it?

No? Then you wanted to see porn!

[–]IntensePancakes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Exactly. If you are truly horny and just need to relieve yourself jerking off is always there. But more often than not it's just your porn addiction rearing its head again.

[–]Carboneraser 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey hey! Listen to this.

I had erectile dysfunction at 16!!! More often than not I couldn't hold it up.

After trying 100 different things, I quit porn. That's gotta do it right?

After quitting porn, my libido slowly devolved until I couldn't get an erection period. I'd be with my girl strip teasing or something, and id feel nothing and then I'd feel like shit. Limp as linguini.

Anyways, dumped that girl and spent some time angry with life, then eventually I started jerking off. Not with porn, just everytime I'd get a slight boner I'd run to my apartments far bathroom and rub one out.

Jerking of without porn has made me aroused by girls in sundresses, but I don't have the issue of being a 1 pump chump (or a limp dicked chimp) and instead can get down for 20-40 mins and just feel normal again.

Jerk of everyday. Don't try nofap, just jerk and jerk and jerk and be careful you aren't gripping to hard. Less porn, more production of spunk.

Enjoy your daily boners that arise from even the slightest curves on a stop sign or a drop of moisture slowly slowly dripping down a blade of grass. You can get horny watching bumble bees fuck.

Porn no jerking yes

[–]Way2ManyTakenNames 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Then after that learn to jerk off without any physical contact

[–]IntensePancakes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Then learn to jerk off subconsciously

[–]PrincetonNarcissist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  1. Backsliding is the act of losing the progress that you've made on a given activity. Ex: Cutting the amount of time spent gaming then relapsing back to 4 hours per day.
  2. Learn to masturbate as a quick maintenance activity and not an elaborate fictional fantasy. No jacking off to imaginary relationships with Kimmy Granger and Mia Khalifa. Blow and Go.

[–]ZeppKfw 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Keep busy. Go start biking, Be a petrol head, Talk to people, etc.

[–]zeeshans14 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Thanks for the advice bro. One thing I realized is that how devoid our lives are. As an 18 y/o in his first year if university, I've finished for the year yet there's almost nothing I have in my life rn that brings me a sense of joy or achievement. I'm joining a gym soon and looking for a job so I won't spend all day on my playstation and Jacking off

[–]rnsbrum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make a plan for your life, what you gonna do in a year, and then break down those goals into months and months each weeks. Work towards that and you will have a better sense of direction

[–]SalporinRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go and write down goals. Both short-term and long-term ones.

[–]TigerXtrm 149 points150 points  (20 children)

No games, no Netflix, no TV, no Reddit/internet... god forbid anyone has some relaxing fun instead of working on their TRP life 24/7/365.

I get where this advice is coming from and yeah all those things are bad when done too much, but can we please stop pretending they are some sort of gateway drug into having a useless life? As with anything else, it's perfectly fine to do these things in moderation, as long as you're able to recognize when enough is enough.

TRP is about self improvement. That also means finding one's own balance between relaxing and self improvement. Telling people to "stop having fun and go do these productive but less fun things instead" isn't going to help. And frankly it's shit advice. Yeah sure, might help them raise their social status and fuck every chick they want, how much is any of that worth when fun isn't part of the equation?

To be clear, if you get home from school/work, sit down behind a computer and do fuck all but play videogames and end the night with 5 episodes of Netflix, don't fucking do that and especially don't do that when you have other shit you should be doing.

But when I get home from work and did my groceries and made my dinner and cleaned my house and worked on whatever writing project I have going on, I won't be told I can't take an hour or two to relax by doing something I enjoy.

[–]wiseblood_ 18 points19 points  (2 children)

It really depends on where you are in the "getting your shit together" process. It's probably overkill for someone who's already got a lot going on, but for someone who's trying to break out of the "lazy useless piece of shit" cycle for the first time it's best to cut these things out completely until your life is recalibrated on other more meaningful things. Otherwise it's easy to just fall right back into the cycle. It's all about shifting the center of focus.

[–]SalporinRP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I see your point but to counter that drastically changing your lifestyle overnight rarely works. For instance, going from bulking at a 500-700cal surplus to a 500cal deficit overnight will make you feel like absolute shit. Going from being a fat lazy slob who never picked up a weight in their life to lifting 6 days a week will probably get you injured. I think it depends on the person and how their brain is wired. Some people can just cut things out cold turkey and some will see better long-term success if they wean down over a period of 10-14 days.

[–]wiseblood_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, baby steps are important. If someone has a plan to get off video games over a period of time and knows that the end goal is total separation, then sure, do whatever you need to do to get there. My comment was more aimed at the video game apologists who wanna half-ass it and rationalize what they're doing.

[–]SnowmanPacific 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Relaxing fun: watching HGTV, some useful YouTube tutorials, documentaries, history and war videos, binge watching a TV show with the girlfriend/wife, having drinks with the boys, walking the dogs or playing with the dogs, sometimes just lying in bed feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. I think the greater part here is deconditioning yourself from constantly needing stimulus.

[–]BlackjointnerD 43 points44 points  (3 children)

yeah i dont understand why people are so extreme on here. I work out,play video games,read, work,go to school, good friends, watch anime and have a girlfriend that I started sharing other girls with. Trp has tools and advice to carve your own life out with. Some people dont even see women here as human beings, just like there personal slaves. I think i read a post here not to long ago about a guy who applied dread to his girlfriend of years because she had to go to a doctors appointment about her cancer condition..Like damn, really..

[–]1clon3man 19 points20 points  (1 child)

arrogance on reddit and/or TRP is a big issue. People are always putting others down and baiting them into revealing details of their life that are irrelevant, then starting a back & forth bitchfight about it. We're wired up to avoid embarrassment so people just keep their distance and their guard up, which makes the entire experience much more sterile ... the opposite of what an anonymous network is supposed to be

[–]NutmegPluto 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's because redditors in general have sub-avg IQs, that's why I love all my n*ggas on these quarantined subs

[–]BloodSurgery 35 points36 points  (0 children)

TRP is a toolbox in the end. Some people really need to go cold turkey with videogames or porn, others can actually regulate it and live a normal life.

[–]Dallosaurus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah, u/CarlosNeedsAHat got downvoted pretty quickly when I read all the things you're not allowed to do such as social media, reddit, and the internet from his post, on the internet, on a website called reddit, that could be categorized as social media. The hypocrisy is embarrassingly hilarious. I get what he's saying but coming off like a drill sergeant telling people that playing video games will somehow not improve their life is just silly. Many people play and are able to in moderation. Plus, some people's lives do improve from video games. I play every day after work. Every day. Do I have a problem? No. Is my house clean? Yes. Car? Yes. Bills paid? Yes. Money in the bank? Yes. But god forbid I play a couple games of NBA2K19 when I get home lol.

Also, the caffeine thing is hilarious to me as from reading his post he comes across as a guy who would drink a "lemon flavored NON-CAFFEINE citrus drink" from the gas station unknowingly aware that it has 10 ingredients he can't pronounce and are harmful to your body.

Thanks for "tips" OP! You basically told me exactly how to live my life if I were the perfect mold of a robot human. Now go out there boys and live life! But you better not fucking enjoy it in any way!

[–]massivewang 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Yeah I think this is a bit extreme. You should give up gaming, Netflix, etc if you’re addicted to them. Or you should avoid certain games.

I went cold turkey with video games when I was in college my junior year. One of the best decisions was not buying WoW my sophomore year as I would’ve been addicted.

At any rate at 34 I play pc games. I also:

  • learned a new language (Portuguese)
  • train BJJ 5x a week
  • lift 3x a week
  • earn 120k/yr
  • 400k in cash/investments, no debt
  • been to thirty different countries
  • once in a life time trips like the olympics, World Cup, Inca trail, Patagonia, etc.

Anyway I don’t say that to brag, I’m sure many of you are dar Better off. The point is that you can be “successful” and still enjoy video games, Netflix, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with leisure, but you’ve gotta have your shit together.

[–]thesnowman17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but he was not taking to you, you don’t think that someone who is an unmotivated slacker who spends free time playing video games binging Netflix and watching porn who doesn’t even clean their room can benefit from a total extreme life shift and learn to fill up their time with other shit while they become the guy they wanna be? I feel like that cold turkey thing is good for people who need a drastic change.

[–]Dallosaurus -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

I see so many people relate money to success. Money is nothing in terms of success. If you want to strive for success you need to strive for happiness, not a larger bank account. That's the only thing I have learned from my inexperienced and ignorant friends. The low IQ people always relate money to success and always relate the quality of their job to the difficulty of their job - which both couldn't be further from the truth.

Many people say, oh so and so is doing great they are making so much money now. Okay cool, but does that change his shitty attitude, the fact he has no friends, his want to wake up everyday? Exactly. Also people will say BrO I LoVe mY jOb LoLOL it's so EaSy!!!

Like dude if you're eating a job based on how easy it is or relating money to success you're a basic bitch that needs to reevaluate their life lol.

[–]massivewang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all nuanced and people will need to find out what kind of live they want to live, what makes them happy, how they define success, etc.

The point is that video games and netflix aren't the devil. You can be happy, have "success", etc and still have leisure time.

[–]adriano515 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone commented a couple days ago on a similar topic "you can do games, netflix, weed, tv etc. if your already succesful and have your life in order" people who dont have their life in order probably dont have the will to do those stuff in small amounts, it's probably better for people to not even be tempted and cut down the vices entirely. I had to do it with porn, games, food and weed. I can control small amounts now.

Unless you have your life in order, you're not allowed to do that stuff. You will succumb to the vices again quite quickly.

[–]Wjourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moderation was implied in the OP. At least thats how I understood it.

[–]Lingrow 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I'm 29 and still doing most of the stuff in the list, need a change in my life asap.

[–]themackattack90 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm 29 as well and it wasn't until January that I started trying to make an active change. It's easiest for me to view things numerically. There are 168 hours in a week, you spend 40 at work and 56 asleep. That's 72 hours that you get to decide what to do with. At an absolute minimum you need to spend 1/3 of that, 24 hours a week, doing something that will improve yourself. Personally I'm shooting for 40. If you spend an hour a day at the gym and an hour a day cooking and eating healthy food, that's 14 right off the bat. Between meditation/self-reflection, cleanliness, learning new skills/languages, researching topics of interest, and I even count learning new hobbies, you can find ways to invest your time in things that will make you the best version of yourself that you can be. And I think it's important to note that not a single thing I listed has anything to do with women. Women are a very lagging indicator that you have become a higher quality man.

[–]Lingrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! Yeah the least thing I care is for women, not that I don't like them it's just that I want to change myself first, focus all my energy on me and then everything that come as a result of that will be the rewards, women included. I'm been trying to change for a while but it's difficult where I live. In a coulple of week I'll be staying with my uncle in the US hope that will mark the start of my transformation as I'll be disconnected from videogames, which are my drug.

[–]simplecountry_lawyer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel you, getting your shit together is good advice at any age.

[–]redvelvet_oreo 9 points10 points  (4 children)

One thing I would add which I find hard to explain but I see it with all younger kids in this bracket is to gear your mind to NOT think in a binary format. Most things are NEVER either a 1 or a 0. Most things are NOT black and white. There is so much gray area in life and nuance. Its hard to understand complex things. Its easy to just judge people based on the surface. Social Media and the internet has geared younger kids to think in either a 1 or a 0. Its either black or white and its such a determinant. Learn to critically think and figure out problems. Challenge your self everyday. Stop thinking you know everything because you googled something or you watch some youtube idiot that told you how to do something. You dont KNOW shit and you haven't experienced NOTHING. When you do actually learn something complex and when you actually experience something difficult and hard you wont find your self looking online for the answer. Alot of the time when your in that deep there is no youtube video or google search thats going to help you.

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This is so fucking true. In my early 20s, I spent so much time thinking about What It All Means. My brain wanted to think about the world like I was a robot: all I had to do was find the one answer to life, and then apply it to everything. My friends and I would stay up until 3:00 talking about life and God and women, and we thought we were so deep and philosophical.

Nope. We were just young men who needed more life experiences and a smaller sense of grandiosity.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh I actually don’t think that’s as wrongheaded as you imply. What you were doing was looking for an ultimate frame of reference. Which is actually a sensible thing to pursue. People who get religious are basically doing just that. They want to have a frame of reference from which to determine things from. It’s actually profoundly abnormal and disorienting to not have that. A condition of our postmodern situation. The problem is that if you’re critically minded enough you see the flaws with all claimed ultimate frames of reference and have to subsist from an agnostic position.

[–]MatrixofLe3adership 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Binary thinking, and taking things at face value. Shit's unbelievable when you look beneath the surface.

[–]SalporinRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems our entire society thinks in a binary format. Even more-so these days. Everything is either the best thing since sliced bread or shit. No in-between.

That's why I can't stand US politics. I have to vote for an extreme either way. I have to either vote for building a 1500 mile wall from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico or I have to vote for letting in every single would-be immigrant with a sob story. No in-between. Fuck that.

[–]urbanfoh 18 points19 points  (3 children)

No caffeine. Caffeine fucks your sleep.

I disagree. Caffeine can be incredibly helpful if its not abused. Caffeine taken right before an exam will definitly give you an edge if you used it responsibly beforehand. That is if you do not take 300mg caffeine (two cups) everyday.

Do not take caffeine after 3PM and it won't fuck your sleep. Problem solved.

[–]adminsaregayniggers 1 point2 points  (1 child)

[–]urbanfoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah sure if caffeine is metabolized via a half life rate theoretically you will have caffeine in your blood for eternity.

[–]randomTATRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Caffeine bolstered my anxiety and fucked with my intestines.

And it is addictive. Fuck that, no, thank you.

EDIT: Even tho it IS fucking tasty.

[–]jagdecat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm way older then 25 but F need this still. Esp the feeling of being worthless still despite managing a family. It's always like I'm never good enough.

[–]VinterBot 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Alcohol and drugs are a massive waste of time for the same reason videogames and porn are. You want to have a clear mind when facing the night.

Can't socialize, approach, or generally enjoy life unless you have alcohol or drugs in your system? That's a pussy move in my books.

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I agree, but since as a society we no longer send 14-year-olds out with a spear and tell them to return when they've stabbed a bear to become a man, alcohol has pretty much become the universal rite-of-passage. I'm not for telling someone to completely swear off alcohol if that means he's going to spend every Saturday night at home playing Jenga with his mom and sister so as to not be one of the "bad kids".

I wish I had started drinking three years earlier than I did, and I wish I had stopped four or five years earlier than I did.

[–]VinterBot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I started drinking at 16 and getting so pissed out drunk every weekend that I ended up taking a nap on the street at least once every weekend. Wouldn't recommend.
When I stopped drinking at 24 I immediately noticed an improvement on my overall enjoyment of my nights out and both my game and finances gained a major boost.

I wouldn't call it a rite of passage but more of a symptom of our natural tribalism. In general we tend to shun those that don't comply in the tribe's way, and so when we see our friend not getting fucked up whilst the rest of us are, we become aggressive.

I clearly remember a night out a few years ago a friend of ours got this illegal 90% absinthe and everyone was so excited about it, drinking shots and calling him the best guy ever. Everyone but me. I was already fucked up and didn't want to end up throwing up all over the bathroom and passing out again, so I politely declined. Instantly the whole group, both men and women 18-23 started calling me all kinds of names, quite aggressively might I add. "Don't ruin the fun" "Gay" "What are you a boy scout now?" are a few examples.

[–]LodiLu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cool post. Thanks for the advice brother. I'd say one of the most important lessons here is sleep. I quit staying up till 4 every night, and had to get on a regular schedule 2 weeks ago for work commitments. Let me tell you, your sleep habits 100% affect you and your "depression". I am honestly starting to feel a fog being lifted, and even just having more energy during the day is SUCH a game changer.

[–]GastrointestinalRein 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is really nice man, especially i can relate with video games and the series watching part literally.

[–]lbrownlbandit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man, as a 24 year old who just went through depression, loneliness and general feeling of failure. Can say that this guide is on point. Everything said here is exactly how I went about it to be where I am today. The point about defining yourself by what you can do and not what you associate yourself with that others can do. I've seem this work wonders. Being a social recluse I tried for a long time to do things others did to fit in. It wasn't until I picked up hobbies on my own and just did them that I made some friends. Now, I learned how to beatbox, swim, weight lift, piano, ukulele etc and every day I'm either honing my skills in them or learning something new. This got rid of my social anxieties and now when I walk into a room I walk in with pride, know I have something to offer when talking to people and I'm not just a loser that I always thought I was.

Believe me all the tough times, always feel the worst. It isn't until at least a year when you start celebrating the little things that you will start to truly feel powerful and ready to take on the world. So keep at it and looking forward to seeing you on the other side.

[–]WoodleyWarrior85 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Part of the reason you feel so anxious and helpless is because you have it in your head that you're worthless.

Yeah, too many guys believe anxiety is random (like a genetic trait they inherited), or out of their control (like it all dates back to a childhood trauma they suffered as a 3 year old). These views are disempowering.

The more pragmatic reality is most young guys are stuck at the bottom of the dominance/competence hierarchy. They are not contributing to society, cannot meet their own basic needs, and are dependent on parents and authority figures.

In this situation, a young guy should feel anxious. It's their body's way of saying: "Yo buddy, this situation sucks. Time to get the hell out of the parent's basement and find a life."

You can't sit around and play video games and be happy...you've got to be out there improving yourself, making money, expanding your social circle, taking care of your health, and having fun. Once you see improvement in these areas, your confidence grows and you start to become more valuable to your community (whether that's at school, a company, the military, etc.)

Bottom line: anxiety isn't random or inevitable. It's a nudge from your body, telling you to start pulling your own weight.

[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, you just explained my past anxiety.

[–]knightydk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know it's not a popular opinion, but completely quiting porn and masturbation and saving your sexual energy for actual sex or working out will change your life, also speaking of YouTube channels, this guy is great- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjie-6rgFLkYsNVGvWG12xg

Also this is red pill in action- https://youtu.be/ZggyAmnAYxs

[–]MatrixofLe3adership 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Gold brick alert. This post is top notch, and OP—you write very well.

  • Being creative and actually making something with productive hobbies is such a great way to build value. In general I just try to cut consumptive behaviors and activities anywhere I can.
  • I'm really glad you wrote the bit about "chip away at your blocks." Knowing you'll be at a place where they don't bother you at all is real motivation.
  • Very interesting how 25 is a real milestone, ie. you better be a fucking man by this point. Is it that society is more complex and there is so much more you must master, or that young men are being coddled by parents?
  • I can't emphasize enough how important it is to not be too hard/put too much stress on yourself. Mental health is just as important as your lifts.

I also agree with u/TigerXtrm. I reached the point where I was obsessively self-improving so much...I lost touch with the people around me, and it became more difficult to form close friendships with more hedonistic people. Still working on that...

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Very interesting how 25 is a real milestone, ie. you better be a fucking man by this point. Is it that society is more complex and there is so much more you must master, or that young men are being coddled by parents?

At 25, "next steps" stop happening by default. You're out of college, you can drink, you have a job and are making money. Your brain has stopped physically developing. If you sit around and do nothing, your life can remain exactly the same straight through 30, 35, 40... You might grow a little bit richer, but you'll probably get lot fatter, too.

Around 25, when you get together with a group of peers, people stop asking "what do you want to do with yourself" and start asking "what are you doing with yourself". At 25, you can no longer sell yourself the fantasy that you can become whatever you want to be if you work really hard. You're never going to be shortstop for the Yankees or write a hit song. 25 is the expiration date on unrealized potential. Before that, people may still want to associate with you even if you suck if you show the promise of one day not sucking. But if you haven't tapped into that potential by 25, that's not to say you never will, but people are right to treat you like you never will, because statistically most people who are losers at 25 stay losers for life.

[–]thewrecker8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • No videogames. For most of you, this will be harder to cut than porn, if not downright impossible. So let's say no more than 30 minutes to start with. And if you're going to play, try to play with someone that you know rather than just sitting there alone. The more you start getting your other shit together, the more you're going to realize videogames are a giant waste of time unless they're a social activity. (And the more you start moving in social circles that have successful people in them, the more you're going to realize that winners do other things besides play videogames when they get together, but that's an epiphany for a later date.)

Imo the best way to break the video game habit is take up a hobby/skill. Video games are something you do when you don't have anything else to do. You're bored so you fire up the console and veg out. Learn an instrument, take up woodworking or metal working, immerse yourself in something else that will provide value in your life instead of the made up goal in your head to beat that next level in a game. If you're busy doing something productive, you're going to be too busy to play video games.

[–]EmirSc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Define yourself by what you're able to do, not by what other people have made."

Will leave that somewhere to read when needed.

[–]someonesopinion6969 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shouldn't these suggestions generally be for people of all ages not just 16-25 teenie boppers? you want to sort your shit, avoid most the shit suggested here

[–]ChipperAcarious 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What'd ya mean by "take two or three minutes to stimulate the prostate"? Just like, a quick jerk session and you're done sorta thing, don't get to into it, is that what you're saying?

[–]SwoleBenji 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I always post my piece on how video games should only be played if you're making actual social interaction that leads to a goal (Like gaming with co-workers or your tribe.) or if you're making profit off the video games. (Selling the currency, items, a service, or getting donations for streaming / ad revenue from youtube.)

99% of people just use vidya to fill a void and they get nothing out of it. No friends, no social interaction, no money. Why play them if you don't benefit from them?

It is quite easy to profit off video games though. If you're spending so much time playing them you might as well get paid for it.

[–]CollaterLDamage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was so weird. One time I was playing a game and it felt like there was literally a hole in my chest. I was trying to pull something from it. To feel the way it used to feel but it hurts to waste time now.

[–]kellykebab 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Very solid advice overall. The only item that I think is a bit overly optimistic is this:

Exposure therapy is the thing. Go do shit that scares you a little bit. It might take three or four times before it stops scaring you at all, but once that problem is solved it's fucking solved for good.

This might be true for something trivial like showering in front of strangers, but anxiety around socializing in general will not (for most people) completely melt away after a few occasions of chatting up strangers at the grocery store. The more realistic advice for increased socialization is to tell guys to get better at managing and accepting their fear and anxiety. But it usually takes a fairly long time for this to completely go away and yes, unfortunately, sometimes it does return depending on the context.

Everything else in the post looks great, though.

[–]CollaterLDamage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cognitive behavioral therapy ( CBT) is pretty much all about that. Changing yourself all on your own takes a strong will. The biggest issue I've seen with anxious people is how they deal and define failure . A large ego protected by a shell of fear.

Failure for them is not getting the results they expected. That's not a failure in science, sports or even games. Failure is not getting any results. It's making a mistake in an experiment vs not conducting it. It's not lifting heavy enough weights vs not lifting anything. It's dying in the boss fight and retrying vs dying and not playing anymore. Could you imagine if a basketball team quit because they lost a game?

The crazy thing is how you can get rid of some anxiety symptoms by forcing them. Hands shaking? Shake it off. Chest tight? Flex it yourself. Mind went blank? Literally say that. I can admit it's not always easy but it can be very simple.

[–]farminggil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright look, this is a nice post and all, but you think in such a binary format. This thinking is incorrect. And this is nothing CLOSE to a "guide" to get your shit together. You can't possibly cover a comprehensive walkthrough for something as complex as this without oversimplifying everything.

Life is so complex and this post is not the way to view it, IMO. The way you "get your shit together" is grow the fuck up and prioritize objective and measurable goals that will lead you to long-term success with an action plan to accomplish said goals. Not stop playing video games and learn to socially drink.

[–]PeterPansSyndrome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The analogy for the second point "Most of you assholes have convinced yourself that you have some kind of depression. Maybe you do, maybe you don't, but either way, your batteries are probably sitting on low." This is so fucking important and can be it's own post. I was killing myself with energy draining/time wasting activities. No wonder I couldn't do shit productive.

[–]Parthanax1 1 point2 points  (4 children)

On the porn part. I've been getting better with getting rid of my porn addiction, but I still struggle. If anyone else here has struggled with porn and has gotten through their addiction, is their any more advice for breaking the chains of porn addiction off of you?

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Here's what worked for me.

The unhealthiest part of watching porn is the "hunt". Opening a hundred different tabs from three different sites, hoping that one of them has exactly what you're looking for, watching them all, and ending up disappointed 95% of the time.

To start weaning myself off, I found one video that I really liked. A good one. Classy, or at least relatively classy compared to the rest of the crap out there. And I told myself, "you aren't going to find anything better than this; just start with this one." Well that cut 90 minutes out of my jack-off session, and it kept me from getting desensitized by having to sift through all kinds of heinous shit. That's two of the main goals of cutting porn already accomplished.

Next I deleted the link to that video and saved the URL to a text file. Above the URL, I typed in all caps DO YOU REALLY WANT TO WATCH THIS, OR WOULD YOU RATHER GO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING? 50% of the time, I'd decide to go for a walk or go to the gym instead. Sometimes I'd still watch it, though.

After a certain point, watching that video so many times was like when someone keeps repeating a certain word until it loses all meaning. "Scissors... scissors... scissors..." If you hear it two dozen times, the sound no longer has any association with a pair of actual scissors. And the video no longer had any association with actual sex. I got to the point where I could say, "Welp, this bores me, and it's literally the best thing the world of porn has to offer. Why the hell did I like this stuff so much, anyway?"

[–]Parthanax1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a shot.

[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Scissors... scissors... scissors..."

This was an intended pun, I'm sure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck would I need pornhub when this post just gave me a raging hard-on for life.

But in all seriousness, this was a solid post. Very inspiring. Thank you.

[–]br0kencircuit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something that’s helped: earning “it.” Whatever your vice, you limit it to being a reward for pushing a long term goal forward (e.g., watching a bit of tv on the weekend because you did extra hours on your business). This creates a positive feedback loop that keeps you moving without freaking out.

[–]wewmon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like something a big brother would tell his younger bro. Thanks man

[–]cleverraptor77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. This is redpill. Not how do i get girls or look at my fling cause insert PUA stuff. Unrestrained masculinity finding limits and breaking them and making them higher

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn good points from someone on the other side who’s “made it” but still climbing.

When I was younger I thought being strong in one area (grades, career) could make up for other areas like being chubby. Nope. If you do above average in all of the above you’ll realize just how few men out there are that well rounded.

Good call on things like video games. In my circles the only time those are played are maybe pregaming an event and it’s mario kart 64 every few months. When you spend your time being active, doing hobbies that create, working, you will realize that you don’t want to stick so much time into video games

[–]SocialIntelligence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incredible information. This gave me a huge wake up call. Thank you.

[–]newlifeRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't know about the cold shower thing. Although not in the age range you describe, that's still one weak point of mine (sleep apnea on top). Will try cold showering, thank you so much!

[–]champion_challenger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And this is the sort of shit that get’s a sub quarantined? Fucking bullshit. This is rock-solid advice.

[–]saladpurple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice. Time to double up, if your stalking me and reading this, I highly suggest following this.

[–]sizmon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck I really needed this. Thank you.

[–]DancesWithPugs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"thinking that the stuff that they consume is what defines their personality, rather than the stuff they produce?"

That's such a good point and highlights what's wrong with selfish modern society.

[–]blorgon416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Decent post but you can do all of this and still fail. You should still do it but it won't guarantee success.

I would say remind yourself that your set yourself up with good habits in your 20s will help improve the overall quality and/or amount of opportunities down the road.

As for the weed/alcohol/drugs comment. Everyone is different. Some people really could use the boost of alcohol, some people shouldn't go near it.

[–]Zsaqwes7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Since I have bad depression especially as of late, while I dont struggle to get myself to stay on track and do all the right things I still dont get any enjoyment out of doing them right now and havent for a while. Can anyone recommend things such as good comedy to watch/listen to or any other sort of activity that could help to add more happiness to my lifestyle? I'm assuming when I'm older (22 atm) and I start having my shit together more I'll have more resources/outlets to be happy

[–]wikedsano 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you missed the point. Lighthearted shit isn't what is going to get you out of your depression. Hard work, lifting, measurable goals and seeing yourself succeed is what will pull you out. It's natural to feel down at 22, especially if you're coming from nothing. Make a stand and decide you want changes, then go and be the change you want to see.

[–]TrizzyG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one is going to be a total loser for doing any one of these things in moderation but if you feel yourself connecting heavily to a lot of the DONT's written here then you most likely do not have your shit together and this advice could be helpful.

[–]EscobapRablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

However, if you just received a $30,000,000 from your grandparents or something, I think different rules apply to this, you can do whatever the fuck you want, because basically you don't have to work anyway

[–]oreocrackortweak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

any changes for someone who's 35?

[–]JonahsGrandma 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"a dozen black dudes in horse masks tag-team a pregnant midget."

What the fuck kind of porn did you watch? fuck...

[–]Fin3553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ikr??? That shit's wayy too tame

[–]duce3612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Advice for people 18-25, build and maintain good credit. Do not put it off until it is too late.

[–]Ripperinoskinerino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you brother, this is a great post to utilise in my life.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck and I was gearing up to start an online business that’s heavily reliant on social media. I think I’ll try it anyway. But shit

[–]TheFowo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of these are great advices for people of my age, love it! I will continue playing computer games though, I'm actually planning to go into game dev.

One problem I've always had is that even though my life is really interesting compared to average guy at my age, I sick at conversations. Not that I'm socially awkward or I'm afraid of talking to people but I've noticed that I simply don't know how to interest people so we even get to them knowing why my life is fun and interesting. I've got lots of colleagues with whom when I see them spend fun chill time yet rarely am invited to parties. Pretty much a single person whom I'd be calling a friend. Tips much appreciated

[–]DarkS00l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What can I do during the summer? I only go to the gym and read from time to time, what are some other activities that will be beneficial for me

[–]CocoaPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome and all, thanks for sharing. Can you write a similar guide for men in their late 20's/early 30's who have all the above nailed down - basically next best steps once your foundation is solid af.

[–]iphone5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just turned 30 and unfortunately regardless of your age this is something you have to constantly remind yourself of.

[–]twentyapollo0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phenomenal post. I agree with everything except I believe caffeine does not have to be eliminated entirely. I personally enjoy a cup of black coffee or green tea before my workouts, as long as it is 4 hours before I plan on going to sleep. I find it gives me an extra energy boost in my workouts. In addition they provide healthy antioxidants with practically no calories.

[–]rijeka1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m waiting for your next post. Thank you!

[–]5ubstanc3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

saved. awesome content. thank you

[–]burnyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can maybe cut porn, but i don't think i'd ever be able to cut videogames and coffee out of my life, or even want to.

[–]stuperbee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one of the greatest threads in my opinion. Great advices to the younger ones.

[–]SinningIsMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always get told i am a 7/10 at least but i am a quiet guy, do get a bit nervous but when i do things i realise they're not as bad as i make up in my head, anyone got any tips for nervousness in social situations and how to be more confident overall?

[–]Andragorin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading is essentially the same category of a time-waster as any non-esports video game. Just another medium for getting content to your brain.

I see this as a very hypocritical piece of advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't listen to this nonsense. It's not very red pill to say that you should drop everything you enjoy to go chase women, money and materialistic garbage.

[–]YBOXES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I like the redpill sub. No bullshit, no bluepilled sugar coating, straight to the trurh and facts. Thanks for this.

[–]YBOXES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All this shit requires money which I dont have.

[–]Apple_OfThe_Earth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man! I needed this. I saved it, for the future. I've been sick for the past 3 weeks (Pneumonia) and that shit hits really hard, and I needed this to help me get back on my feet again. Much obliged.

[–]badgernaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been red pilled for over 2 years. Juat realized that its back on reddit. This is the best post ive seen since returning.

[–]Skypier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy, thank you for the good advice sir.

[–]ExDota2Player 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree on the porn part, I stopped watching it a few years ago and my sex drive drastically decreased, which reduced my lust for women in total. I would say you should be watching porn every day and constantly explore what excites you the most

[–]penorgold -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most of this is really good but not everyone will benefit from going to bed early some people just aren’t built for it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Videogames can improve hand eye coordination and executive functioning especially esports. I mean if youre good enough at it you can make it a career. I dont have my own computer but played on a borrowed one often in foreign languages. Some videogames are truly amazing works of art, i dont regret a single second of doom 2016, that shit was just incredible, inspiring and influential in my life actually. Or portal for example is a puzzle game iirc studies showed had brain benefits. I think "no videogames" is much too simplistic a mantra. Ive seen studies where action games were shown to decrease rumination in depressed patients.

[–]PastillaRojo 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Bitches love hand/eye coordination.

Just last week I was at the bar, talking to a HB10 and playing league of legends on my phone and her panties were soaked by my hand eye.

Get out of here. No videogames until you have more pussy than you can keep up with

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

bitches do love hand/eye coordination even if its nothing really impressive. Ive had bitches throw multiple random objects in short succession to see if i could catch them and comment "wow you actually caught that". And what top esports players can do with their hands on controllers and keyboards and mice is way more impressive than that shit. I mean its insane how high their APMs. I've seen bitches (never know on the internet tho) make dreamy comments about how good Leffen's hair looks in his stream and hes got a girlfriend and plenty of money tho not as loaded as the big boy esports top players. but he shoulda been reading the red pill before he started gaming right?

[–]PastillaRojo 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Now I'm not sure if you're trolling.

Get coordinated by doing something that people might perceive as valuable or transferrable to more situations than clicking.

I don't know how it's even debatable. You're entitled to defend video game playing and justify wasting time, but athletes have better hand eye coordination...and physiques...than videogamers.

Also who TF is leffen?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Athletes spend tons of time developing sport-specific skills that probably aren't appreciably transferrable at all to other types of life skills social, mental, or physical. I mean how useful is it in your daily life to be able to catch, throw, and hit specific types of balls in certain ways? tons of pro athletes retire and get fat and out of shape and mismanage their finances. Most athletes honestly don't have anything close to a desirable physique one can attain with less effort lifting. They're usually just tall and lift on the side even if they don't need to for their sport. Still on average certainly way better than esports players.

Leffen is a top fighting games player. What scientific studies show athletes have better hand eye than top esports players? I bet that's an incredibly complex question any neuroscientist would believe is foolish to think you know a simple answer to maybe largely incomparable. esports outcomes often come down to frame-perfect timing and require extremely precise hand movement especially shooters.

I lift and play sports more often than game because i don't actually have a gaming computer. I think their funner tbh and the exercise high is great but driving around everywhere and coordinating with people is a huge hassle. Also there is a significant risk of injuries some of which could seriously impact your life unless you play a non-contact sport. Neither are a problem gaming in your room. Safe lifting and healthy competition that's cognitively demanding and requires hand-eye you can just do in your room on demand no wasted time or money minus the initial PC investment seems attractive to me and i've played all kinds of sports including very briefly d3 tennis. Its the equivalent of someone your level showing up to your private court/field instantly on demand whenever all times of the day pretty much.

[–]PastillaRojo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

vagina drying intensifies

Do you brother man 👍

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really great arguments your making man

[–]Erazxr 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Get that weak shit outta here. You wanna improve or get defensive about your hobbies?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"get your facts and evidence outta here youre just being defensive" and i get downvoted for a dissenting opinion feels like a cult

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]blorgon416 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Does playing videogames make you like Elon Musk? Hint: No it doesn't.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

top esports players make plenty of money. you don't need to be a billionaire to be happy

[–]surfingjesus -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

This is one of the most idiotic posts I've ever read.

[–]Leather_Sea -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

There was a lot of stupid shit prior to this point, but I just had to stop here.

The more you start getting your other shit together, the more you're going to realize videogames are a giant waste of time unless they're a social activity.

Would you kindly explain how doing something that I enjoy is a waste of time, let alone a giant one?

I presume that this doesn't apply to whatever it is that you enjoy doing, or whatever it is you think you should enjoy doing. Why might that be?

Could it be that the value you ascribe to different interests and hobbies is completely arbitrary?

How do you tackle that some people have successfully managed to forge a career out of these "wasteful" hobbies?

This post fucking sucks.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

Thanks for this.

As someone turning 25 this year, it scares me that Im near the end of my time to turn this around. the fact that you labelled it 15-25 confirms this

[–]1Obediah_Stane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you think about it, you're already justifying to yourself why you shouldn't start improving by saying you've reached the end of this artificial "age limit". What you're really saying is you don't want to start improving because it's hard and takes work. Yes, it is hard and takes work, but nothing will change if you don't make a change. Your mentality should be, "I'm turning 25 this year, and this year is going to be the year I kick ass". Get started.

[–]ZedBaby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This comment kind of echoes the sentiment OP made of feeling worthless.

It scares me that I'm near the end of my time to turn this around

You're limiting yourself by saying this. Its never too late to improve yourself, all you have to do is start today and not look backwards. Don't take OPs age rating as gospel; someone else in this thread even said this should to be apply to anyone aged 15-30.

[–]AdmiralJimEvans -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yea no offense but this wrong on so many levels and kinda fucking autistic. Gtfo fitcel

[–]Rapp5601 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

You talked about weed and alcohol, but what about other drugs? I take psychedelics for experiences and other party drugs for fun.

[–]ReadyToLearn256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. You're cool.

[–]exploderator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is a good idea to know:

The good drugs are learning drugs, ie you take them to learn. Sure they might be pleasurable while high, but they might also be an ordeal, but are still completely worth doing because of what you learn. Psychedelics are the main examples of learning drugs, and if you don't take such big doses that you get totally mangled, they don't typically impair your memory or thinking ability, so you do learn a LOT from them. LSD is a top notch classic, especially taken in small doses, so you won't be hallucinating, just turned all the way on, genuinely enhanced thinking and perception.

The bad drugs are drugs you take to spend time high on them, which only lasts a short time, and therefore points towards frequent repetition and thereby abuse. They usually impair you, usually addict you, and usually build tolerance so you need more and more of them. Alcohol, weed, cocaine, opioids, amphetamines, benzos, etc... Yes, some of these drugs might be taken infrequently for the purpose of learning, if you have the presence of mind to actually pursue that goal honestly and carefully. But some of them tend to impair the mind in ways that tend to impair learning, and are therefore challenging to use in this way. BEWARE.

MDMA is a good example of a drug that gets used either way. It does feel very nice while you are high, and many people use it for that reason. Meanwhile, it is a mild psychedelic and famous as a therapy drug, because of what people learn, and specifically the fear / PTSD they are able to unlearn. I only recommend using it for pleasure, if you have a problem remembering the value of feeling profound joy, and by taking it for pleasure you get reminded, you get to learn to remember the value of creating pleasure for yourself in your life, NOT BY MDMA.

Finally, the big difference between learning drugs and "to be high" drugs: you get to keep what you learn, it is a gift that no longer requires the drugs. Show me the alcoholic that has learned drunkenness so well that they stop drinking because they can just be drunk in their own minds.

[–]Correct_Cheetah -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You do not want to eat a low carb diet, at least if you care at all about your health, you fucking stupid moron.

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