Lol you act like men are completely incapable of having emotional attachment towards a women and women are all controlled entirely by their emotions without being able to use logic or reason. Quite the generalization, but I will play along.

Relationships aren’t black and white, it’s understandable that you’re confused because you’ve likely never experienced a serious relationship with someone that is built on trust and mutual respect. If the whole relationship is just about sex, I can completely understand why it wouldn’t make sense to you to care enough about someone’s feelings in relation to your own.

From what you say, it sounds like you’re putting up a wall between yourself and women likely due to feelings of abandonment, betrayal, etc that you experienced in past platonic or romantic relationships.

I will say that it’s really hard to let yourself be vulnerable with someone else and trust them with your true self. When you find someone who you respect, intrigues you, trust, and look to as a friend as well, you will see why couples can get into passionate fights with one another.

When you fall in love with someone else, your brain isn’t working right. As you mature, you get better about this but the first few times you fall in love, it can be quite intense. The crazy couple fights you see are usually more apparent in younger lovers who are less mature and more susceptible to letting their emotions get the best of them.

The love you feel towards a partner is not entirely different from that of a parent. Obviously there are things that don’t cross over between relationships, but we all hold on to things from our childhood subconsciously whether we like it or not. That being said, you will likely project fantasies/insecurities from your childhood onto your partner. Something that might make sense to you is a girl with “daddy issues”.

Say there is a girl who had a father who she didn’t have the best relationship with as a child. She is likely to look for father figures in men in her adult life to satisfy her lack thereof in her earlier years. If she becomes interested in a man and together they develop feelings for each other, if he doesn’t understand what it takes to make her feel loved, she could react in one of several ways. She could stonewall him, yell at him, be passive aggressive, or tell him how she feels so that he can understand what she needs from a relationship.

Assuming the man has feelings for the women, the first three forms of her expressing to him that he is not making her feel loved are going to confuse him. He may even become upset because he is not sure why she is being difficult and this could cause him to get upset because now he isn’t feeling loved in return. Couples usually fight because they don’t feel loved or understood, people get into monogamous relationships in order to fulfill a void within themselves, usually to combat feelings of loneliness.

If sex were the only factor that made the relationship worth while, there would be no reason to fight, especially if you don’t have strong feelings for the other person. When you do though, think of it like how you would fight with your parents. How would you feel if your parents said they don’t love you or are all of the sudden complacent about you, you would feel hurt and you may even fight with them because you want them to understand you. This is how romantic relationships work to, there is just another level on top that makes things more complicated.