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How to deal with sexual urge?Basic Question (self.askMRP)

submitted by Gonnaroff

My biggest issue is that I’d like to stop wanting my wife sexually until I’ve actually transformed myself. This is due to me actually wanting to be desired, which doesn’t happen.

I however don’t seem to be able to get it under control and just laying next to her after a couple of nights drives me crazy and then my whole life gets affected by this. I yell at the kids, I’m short with her and an overall miserable loser until we fucked. Pathetic.

Is this normal? How to deal with this?


[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"27 points28 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Self-control and discipline will serve you well in your journey from panzy to man.

How to deal with this? Choose to exercise self-control and be disciplined - and stop yelling at your children faggot.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How to deal with this? Choose to exercise self-control and be disciplined - and stop yelling at your children faggot.

If I may slightly shorten this:

Choose to exercise faggot.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

​

If I may slightly shorten this:

Choose to exercise faggot.

If I may shorten this:

LIFT Faggot.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes it is sort of normal.

You want her to desire you : she doesn't : why doesn't she notice me? : makes you mad = covert contract

It's also normal to be angry early on, at yourself, but you take it out on everyone else.

​

I should also point out expecting her to desire you once you have "actually transformed myself" is like the god of god's covert contracts.

[–]RP_PO2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, this right here is easily a response for my OYS tomorrow.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Dear Diary,

I really want to be different, but I'm too scared. My self-esteem is totally pinned on if my wife wants me to sex her, and I can't stand the rejection. But I'm still so horny! It makes me so mad that she doesn't want me, so I yell at my kids and get salty about how she is violating the marriage contract. Boo hoo!

Won't someone please tell me it's not me, it's her!!

[–]blissfullyaware007 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lift. Chop wood. Find a core group of real men to hang out with. Think of sex with your wife as a perk to your diverse manly life.

[–]escapethesolarsystem4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Wait, please explain why you think you can't have sex with your wife?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He believes that he needs to be desired first and since he's clearly a weak-willed, fat-fuck loser, he can't get to mommy's sweet, sweet honey pot.

[–]escapethesolarsystem4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Getting unfat does take time, but not being weak-willed takes about 30 seconds of mental determination. In my view, if you have a wife who you are attracted to, you have sex with her when you want to. How is it "alpha" to do otherwise? "I'm so red pill and masculine, I don't have sex with my wife." Um, wtf? No. Why do you have a wife then? Get on grindr instead.

I get that women use sex to placate a man and make him tolerate some behavior they shouldn't be doing, but why not just have sex with her and still set boundaries / not tolerate her behavior? Seems pretty straightforward to me.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

not being weak-willed takes about 30 seconds of mental determination.

You must be new around here, and are thus not aware of the retard-factor.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This really isnt a bad question per se, try visiting asktrp if you want next level autist.

[–]rocknrollchuck3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Stoicism is what you need.

The Stoic Approach to Sexual Denial in Marriage

[–]Rogue684863 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Great post

Dont be so attached to sex

And initiate even if she's not feeling it yet

Fuck her like she owes you money (said differently do not focus on her getting off, do your thing)

Dont get mad at her because you're unattractive and shes not feeling you. Get mad at yourself and use that to lift and read. NMMNG I think would do you some.good.

And quit being an ass to your kids

[–]Perfectinmyeyes0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Somethings I agree with the article some things I don't.

The author and some posts here fail to mention that guys Need that release. Ya I used the word need.

But I'm going to re-read the article because I do agree that it's my fault/responsibility of what I will do about it.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything here is a toolbox. Take what applies to you, discard the rest.

​

guys Need that release. Ya I used the word need.

​

Release can be achieved without anyone else's help if you need it that bad. So it's probably not really about release, at least not completely.

[–]IncitingDramah2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The questions in this sub are getting more autistic by the day.

[–]bowhunter8572 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are having good sex with your wife on a regular basis stop worrying about who is initiating. If she doesn’t regularly reject you and you are still butthurt over sex then it’s purely validation seeking. Which is one of the worst things to let creep into your sex life. A woman with children just isn’t sitting around thinking about how much she wants to fuck her husband. Now if you put the thought in her head and initiate then sure maybe she wants to. There’s no problem here dude other than your wife still nursing you.

[–]amd2062 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read “the way of the superior man” by David Deida.

He mentions rechanneling your sexual energy up your spine and into your mind to unleash warmth and nurture. Might seem like bullshit but I think the imagery helps with sexual control and harnessing your sexual drive to get things done.

[–]Bushpilot8172 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You haven’t read the side bar yet. If you had, you wouldn’t be asking this question.

If you had, you’d go through a little thing called the anger phase, where you’d be pissed at your wife and you wouldn’t lay there like a dry vagina; you’d just fuck her instead.

Start with Rational Male. You don’t understand hypergamy or the female imperative yet.

[–]CrazyLegs782 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had the same issue when I first started my journey. I'm really not sure of when it stopped or how I curbed it. Some combination of being too exhausted at the end of the day and not really giving a fuck anymore. It's pretty liberating actually. You really need to accept that you are doing this for you and you alone. Purge yourself of any and all covert contracts. They will become more evident with time and learning. Put a shit ton of effort into your lifting program and diet so that the results come quickly. Some external validation will come from others noticing your physical changes and this will help your issue. As others have said, it comes down to you wanting it enough. You have to accept and really WANT to curb this behavior before you have a chance.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've already handed your balls to your wife.

Now you want to castrate yourself?

Lol

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact that you want to hold off on sex because you don’t feel desired is a blue pill mentality to the core. This is how chicks think. You are asking the wrong question. The right question is how to I get over being a pussy? The answer is you fulfill your needs and go caveman.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why? I don’t understand this post at all. Giving your wife a good fucking makes her desire you. Laying around waiting for her to make the first move is kinda pathetic and a turn off. Game her, fuck her. Is she giving you a hard no?

[–]HerukaArisen1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/bifc3w/where_sex_fits_in_thoughts_on_mindset/

[–]samwiser921 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Read NMMNG. You need to game your wife NOW, even while being physically unattractive. Lift and diet harder, yes, but work on being your own mental point of origin, which is also attractive. Part of that is being outcome independent, so if you game her and she denies, you must be stoic. Being a sad sap in that situation makes you even less attractive. Nobody recommended you take an oath of celibacy until you get to a proper BMI, that is you talking to yourself and being too lazy to read the Sidebar. That said:Go get her, tiger!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I fight people and lift heavy things.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I doubt that's your biggest issue

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol quit being a little pussy and just masturbate

She'll start fucking you when you deserve it

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try cutting off your balls

[–]Thorondor_Rising0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

16 faggots came tumbling out of a clown car into AskMRP today......

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've seen that movie many times here...

Always makes me LMAO.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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