TheRedArchive

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Twitter Bros out there including Rian and Hunter are having a little tiff over vetting.

With the utmost respect - they are both wrong.

What is vetting ?

  • using available data of someone's past and current behavior to predict future behavior.

Makes perfect sense. People tend to do what they did in the past.

Vetting seems like a great idea.

Unless you make it the Golden Calf of future relationship potential.

High N count , prior cheating, tattoos drugs- all great red flags.

Low n count, good job, good family , long hair , cooking, great sex, submissive - what ever - great green flags. Maybe.

Neither one predicts future behavior with you.

Those guys on the side of vetting will tell you that you just have to vet well.

You do. Just like you just have to be yourself. If yourself has frame and has his shit together.

But all those who tell you to vet well - it's because they got lucky. They vetted for the right things for their given situation and have not experienced the stressors with that woman that would make that specific no longer be a good partner.

Think of it this way - if you vetted when she was young - she literally didn't have enough miles on her for sufficient data.

If you're vetting an older woman after your divorce - consider that all her prior negative and possitive behavior had context. A beta husband/ ltr , etc.

Consider that all her positive behavior has context ( trying to sell you on a relationship with her ).

It's all ego.

" I vetted well therefore I have a good relationship".

" I vetted poorly therefore I picked a bad woman"

Bullshit.

You did what you could do at the time. Use the information to guide you but understand that in the end of the day you're making a bet.

Hedge the bet as much as possible. But since you don't know what life has in store for you - understand that hedging a bet is ALL you're doing.

Your only power is to walk away if you bet badly.

If you're here you fucked up once. So how about you start by vetting yourself.


[–]amalgamator36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I should have vetted myself more - I was the one that got fat and lazy...

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR25 points26 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Vetting is a rule-out process. It can only tell you who you should NOT marry, it can never tell you who you should.

P.S. - Don't get married.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR12 points13 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Hairdressers, redheads, strippers, girls named Tiffany...

[–]WolfofAllStreetz5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Fuck sakes big +1 on redheads wtf is wrong with these genetic mistakes. Every single one is CRAZY.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I married one. Hot stuff.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hows that working out for you?

I had a threesome with one once, man was it fun but she's now 30 and looking for a husband like mice look for cheese.

Also has 3 drinks and is looking for drugs and dick or pussy. I feel sorry for whoever marries her. She is uncontrollable.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pretty awesome, actually. No complaints.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good to hear. I have an insane attraction to them. Not sure if its the Italian in me or what.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mandy is a redhead.

10/10

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

See, I knew I was onto something when I was younger.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Did you marry a hairdresser named Tiffany?

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, but I spent a lot of time with...

Hairdressers, redheads, strippers, girls named Tiffany...

Did I ever mention I like slutty women (not to marry)

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You and every other honest straight man

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

But, a chick named Brandy is OK, right?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a dude.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm...that would explain a lot.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know a hairdresser named Tiffany. She changes her hair color all the time. God knows what the original color was. I haven't checked the carpet to find out what the drapes should be.

[–]black-cattle1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dont you want sons?

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You must be new here.

[–]black-cattle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just wanted sons. That's s big reason I got married.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You must be wrong too then

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

You must be wrong too then

Not spending time on twatter, is this the position you took or the one Hunter took?

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My position is irrelevant

I'm getting a post up that has 6k words to explain that why it's narcisstic fantasy and a short term strategy.

Boundary enforcement, patience and value building is far superior

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can't argue with that. However, if one sees rule-out criteria early on then one should not even get to the point that those activities are in play.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah.. the tldr of my stance is.

  1. Men don't know what they want, a getting list is guesswork
  2. Vetting implies values. Whose values? Usually women's, especially when you see the adaptions on the lists.
  3. It hides real people being masks, 30 year olds with baby rabies see your shopping list and act the part till they get what they want, then the real her comes out
  4. It's narcissistic fantasy, and when the masks come off it becomes narcissistic rage. That's the core of getting zerod out
  5. The list is a snapshot in time. People change, especially during important life events. You can't get for a wife because you don't see a wife before you put a ring on her

The way you out vetting I argue is just boundary enforcement, a list of what maan doesn't want, which is way better. We only need experience to build a good list of no-go ceiteria. I think we agree more than anything

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I have no argument with any of that.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Must be 😂

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR14 points15 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

You pre-empted my post, Taipan.

Like most men, I vetted my wife, pretty seriously. Actually started with the Mystery Method (page 134), as it's not a bad starter list at all:

An attractive woman who takes care of herself

A woman who is social and has friends

A woman who has a real thirst for life

A woman who has a great energy and a positive outlook

A woman who is not a flake

A woman who is touch with her own sensuality, she's not a baby anymore

A woman who can seek after her own fulfillment instead of waiting for approval from her friends

A classy and smart woman with an education

A woman who is adventurous and has a great imagination

I added a few more as well, items like religion, the "mom gene", same life goals, good family relationships, etc.

I agree with Rian's statement that you can't fully vet a woman for marriage because marriage will change the woman. However, if you think about it, "vetting" is really risk management. You're trying to manage your risk from a short and long term perspective. Pretty heavy stuff, and vitally important. What people fail to do is continue to manage their risk.

Of course people change. I'd be disappointed if they didn't. For good and ill - and let me tell you, I've seen some horror stories here. Djibouti anyone?

So vetting I think does work - but you can never fully vet someone. You are merely managing your risk as best you can. And people do change, for better or worse. Again though, it's about risk management - marrying a woman with mental and body issues is not the best idea, vs marrying a woman who, say, is sane and has no body issues. Don't marry the psycho. Etc.

I also fully expect there to be stories here from men who thought they vetted their wife, but got divorced anyway due to xyz issue. You can't win them all.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with Rian's statement that you can't fully vet a woman for marriage because marriage will change the woman.

It changes men too.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Vetting implies a shopping list, the question is, what man makes his in a vacumn? Whose interest are outside influences pushing?

Boundaries are far superior to vetting, at least they are under your control and influence

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boundaries, vetting, frame... it's all risk management to me.

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '191 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Djibouti anyone?

Seriously good beaches though.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is this who I think it is?

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '191 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, the man who holds the world on his shoulders

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah just a dude with a passport. Skipped the John Galt monologue too.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know the backstory here but is seems to me there is a major assumption that each guy has unlimited choice of future wife to choose from. It just not like that...plenty of choices are made as "best available at the time" (aka vetting) out of a small handful of women. Secondly is the issue of time. A young guy with a half decent woman may not think going back to being single is "worth the risk", of finding something better - a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The childhood sweetheart approach

The moral of the story is that it is rare to be in the position of comparing more than a a few women together equally at the same point in time.

[–]antariuszLTR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Then at that point you need to not be getting married until you’re a high enough quality man to be able to compare hundreds of different potential marriage partners.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't have to he an apex predators to hunt game, you just have to practice a lot

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you stay with someone long enough, you will change and she will change, just count on it. All the vetting in the world gets you a big zero 10 20 30 years later. For most men, it is not all those inevitable changes that hobbles them. It boils down to the loss of frame that provides the bullets he uses to repeatedly shoot himself in the foot. The crippling is entirely self inflicted.

[–]Maximus_Valerius1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yessir.

For those doing the so-called vetting, it’s an attempt to soothe themselves.

For those who supposedly “vetted poorly”, it provides an easy answer.

Either way, it’s an excuse to avoid doing the hard work.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

an excuse to avoid doing the hard work

Yes and No.

The big problem is recognizing it. Actually doing the hard work is the easy part.

[–]Bobsfreestuff16 points17 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Hunter is so full of shit. His girl cheated on him before they were married. Great job vetting, bro. Hunter did such a good job vetting he married the first girl to cheat on him.

All his create your slut bullshit. He did not create a slut, he married a slut.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 9 points10 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

As long as he is happy and remains happy who the fuck cares?

[–]Bobsfreestuff10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly, if he is happy who the fuck cares.

I do not read Hunter's Twitter. Your post seems to suggest the Hunter believes vetting is the solution to creating great long term relationships with women.

Marrying the girlfriend who cheated on you is a colossal vetting failure. Still he finds himself in a happy marriage.

As you imply throughout your post, vetting had its limitations.

[–]weakandsensitive[M] 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I just want to see Hunter's alpha dog video again. The one where he's in a padded suit and then goes "Wow! I was attacked by a dog!"

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I can't un-see that video.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I need the link so I can feature it in my twitter bio.

Got it -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAISmaRDQFc&feature=youtu.be

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why were the targets so close ???

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you even pie the corners bro?

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never had to. That's what infantry is for.

[–]Batman_Or_BruceWayne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great. Now I've watched that. 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Thanks a lot.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck did I just watch?

Bad mod. lol

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hunter is so full of shit. His girl cheated on him before they were married

As long as he is happy and remains happy who the fuck cares?

I heard an interview with Hunter a year or two ago where he was stating the importance of vetting and went into detail about how he had vetted properly. He also explained his reasons for being so involved in RP and what drove him to write his blogs - he explained that while he'd been away on duty that so many of his "fellow men" had fallen into BP thinking and ended up in shitty, sexless relationships. He felt bad for them and felt that it was his duty to help them out. After all, he had vetted properly and was living proof of RP theory in action.

I like Hunter's work and I like his attitude. But I didn't realise that he was a fucking liar. It was never just the plight of his fellow man that kept him awake at night, writing his blogs - it was his own personal struggles. And while this has obviously contributed to his body of work, and while the message still remains strong, it seems like a fucking weak ass move to sell the message through - what I now realise - is at least in part, a fake, bullshit persona.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try looking in the mirror.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair point.. I'll take that.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

She’s doesn’t

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You sure you're in a position to talk shit about another dude?

[–]BobbyPeruMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The best way to vet is look for red flags with what she says. If you let a woman talk long enough, red flags will pop up if she’s a bad apple. She won’t even know she’s throwing out red flags.

I don’t agree that watching past and present behavior is the best way to vet. She will be on her best behavior around you if she’s trying to seal the deal, and good luck getting an honest count or transcription of her past.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're sort of making my point

[–]BobbyPeruMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yup

I remember when I was single after my first marriage ended. Even though I was probably more BP than RP at the time (maybe 55/45), I understood that red flags were the tip Of the iceberg. TBH, I learned later that her N count was 3 x’s higher than what she originally told me, but she turned out to be high quality and she has stood the test of time (13 years). So, guys saying high N count are disproved in my case... not that it was astronomical.

In any case, the x3 rule for N count proves to be true. I have a friend that is recently engaged, and he goes on and on about how he has her under control because he’s soooo RP. Well, TBH he is more RP than the Ave man (which doesn’t say much), but his woman is on her best behavior since he makes big $. Vetting in a case where the man is wealthy becomes even more difficult. The other thing is she wouldn’t commit, but now that her kids are in college, she suddenly commits to him. My suspicion is he’s putting them through college. However, the one big plus is he says he’s for sure getting a prenup... but they both agreed the engagement period should be 4 years (coincidentally the amount of time for her kids to get a degree).

The point? Yes, it’s very hard to vet accurately because various factors can make a woman act on her best behavior and his information

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I cannot imagine staying with a woman that he has no children with, after she said no to marriage. Again, the 4 year engagement, he gets locked down for 4 years with someone that already put off his marriage proposal. I would walk, no run away. No sense staying with someone that isn't thrilled to be with me. Based on what has happened so far, dead bedroom is next.

[–]weakandsensitive5 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Alright -- you've convinced me I need to get into this twitter thing. Is it better than Jerry Springer? Time will tell.

Vetting's great. It's like buying a used car.

  • If they're not going to put in effort to dress it up for the first date, it's probably a total clusterfuck.
  • If it looks great, it's most likely a clusterfuck.
  • If you know what to look for underneath, your odds are better.
  • If you know how to maintain, fix, and nurture it, you'll probably be alright until you decide it's time to get a new one.

There's an analogy between buying used and new in there somewhere too.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods3 points4 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

People are so starved for engagement that me putting out a cussword got 10 accounts to make content on vetting.

I didn't even care about the tweet, or the topic. I'm busy writing about how I got dumped in 2001 with Brian McKnight playing. 2nd worst thing to happen that year

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Stoney, A great mentor of mine once told me:

The warriors at the back of the pack have no arrows in their back.

Only the guys up front do.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I know it's going to sound dense, but this one is going over my head.

Just don't repeat it 5 times if I get it wrong at first.

Is it in the same vein as never getting as much flack from your enemies as you do your allies?

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Your troops behind you will shoot you in the back if you lead.

The asshole followers never have this problem.

It's a good thing. Take their arrows and use them yourself.

Story time… I was a top dog in my profession (has been). While the guys under me wasted time taking shots at me, I ignored their crap and left them even farther behind. Detractors is a good thing.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've got the socialblade.com numbers to prove it. Define nitely nice to know I'm not completely clueless for once 😆

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not clueless. The phrase was highly compacted and my mentor liked to sing it like a jingle. He had to explain it to me. He was a great man, passed on now, so many things he explained to me.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mentors sound great.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well now I don't feel special anymore

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think you're special...

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Don't bring that up. Shhhh

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

$20 is $20 pal...

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You must be thinking of someone else. I charge waaay more

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it better than Jerry Springer?

That's a high bar there.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I honestly was thinking about going with be the new car brand analogy and stuff. But didn't want to hurt people's feelings

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck, you came in strong dude 😂

Self improvement twitter is gonna love you

[–]CaseinManOYS for 4 weeks3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Vetting is a useful heuristic and I'd give it a good 50% of predictive power. The other half would be you and how you lead her. But even if you vet well and are on your game here are no guarantees. She could have issues that have nothing to do with you.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

49% for you.

49% for her

2% your ability to walk away.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The ability to walk away solves most it.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

Time is the only true vetting system, even then bad behaviour can pop up late. 18 month minimum, not like I did mind.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

18 months And then what ?

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

At 18 months either she reveals herself to be a man, her vagina explodes, or she becomes your one, true love.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh. Just like having a microwave

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

very true, but that time can be longer than most may want

[–]threekindsofluckyGrinding3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

ABV

Always be vetting

Starting with yourself.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

ABC dummy

[–]threekindsofluckyGrinding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always Be Corvette-ing?

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Having ran through half the women in North Dallas.....

I already have my kids. I cant have and do not want more. I am 40 and want to have fun.

Give me a medium N-count woman with some tats, who will do a line off my ass every few months, knows how to shotgun a beer, smoke a cigar and I will be happy.

Do not want a low N-count princess anymore.

IDGAF how many cocks she has sucked or fucked so long as she is STD free.

This guy IS the cock carousal.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

What is this retarded logic? If vetting doesn't predict a good outcome 100% of the time then I should ignore it completely?

Life is all about probabilities my man. I might get hit by a truck today, but I probably won't. I might get hit by a truck while sitting in my living room. I'm more likely to get hit by a truck if I play by the interstate.

Pick a woman who is less likely to hit you with a truck.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Learning to read would help you significantly

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that what started all this to begin with?

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I thought it was ego projection and protection

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. We read what we wanted to read

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your post has provided essentially no actionable value.

Your post boils down to:

If your picking a mate it is smart to vet, but it is no guarantee. If you are already married, play the cards you are dealt.

A lot of words to say basically nothing of consequence, mostly naval gazing. Luckily comments from others like u/SteelSharpensSteel and u/BobbyPeru have added some value by posting actionable information.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need me to hold your hand while you piss too?

Don't eat paint

[–]RPWolfUnplugging1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But all those who tell you to vet well - it's because they got lucky.

Spot on. I have been married 20 years and together with my wife 25 total. Met young and unintentionally "vetted" for 5 years before I got married. Had no clue about red flags, what to look for etc. I flat out got lucky with my choice, thats it. Guess what, shit still went south...because I got fat, lazy and became a drunk captain. It was simply because I got lucky with my choice that she jumped back on board the boat once I got my shit straight. Vetting can only go so far because AWALT.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dudes should know that it's possible to vett like a chump - maybe even vett like a retarded homo - even not vett at all - and still do okay.

Such is the chaos and randomness of the universe, I suppose.

With that said, while I didn't vett - or so I think - mi esposa checks the boxes steel lays out below - other than the "good family" part.

p.s. Stoney vs. the family fat fuck, I know who I'm putting my money on.

[–]Vegasman20002Grinding1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is great advice for life as well. You are at work and decide between x and y. You pick x and it works out. Most likely you were lucky. But over the long haul process will matter and make a difference. But we think "it worked out therefore I will pay myself on the back."

[–]callmeanubermensch[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

IF AWALT (they are) then vetting means jack shit. You have only had your turn with her when she meets some magical criteria - or, rather, is able to put forth a facade that matches what you're looking for - which can change or prove to be false at any moment.

And let's face it, what most men are looking for when they meet the woman they're going to marry is a flimsy premise at best, full of cutesy fairy tale fantasies and contradictions.

Meanwhile, hindsight like in those who say they vetted well is the same reason why millionaires that inherited their investment capital can sell books on how to get rich, and why "follow your dreams" bullshit is shoved down everyone's throat. It's all survivorship bias. There's a chance you'll end up with a good woman, but also a chance that you won't. It's easy for people in the first camp to maximize their own efforts in their minds as being why things worked out the way they did.

This is the antithesis of RP, and especially MRP. Your partner is a reflection of who you are. You don't have a crystal ball, but once unwanted behavior is experienced then you need to figure out if you will tolerate it, address it, or detach yourself from your wife over it. Anyone who says they can see things like that coming, or that they can know that a woman won't act a certain way, is a damn liar. AWALT - you just need to be a man who knows how to handle and lead a woman, and when to walk away if she ends up being an unacceptable mate.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Vetting doesn't mean that she is perfect it just means that you are avoiding a nuclear meltdown at the outset.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Vetting has it's place with women like it does with anything in my opinion in your life. I think some people just got lucky when they met their (now) wife if that's the road they chose to go down but you need to constantly pave that road.

I didn't find Red Pill till roughly two years ago, but man would my life of been different finding this shit in my early 20s. Now being 35 married for 7 years, together for 12 we met young and have a 3.5 year old. I didn't know of good qualities versus bad then like the manosphere teaches. We have a very good relationship and never really had any real issues but learning RP definitely helped me lead and guide her better. She is very submissive but carries a lot of good qualities. I visit the /asktrp sub a lot and I think the biggest issue is young men don't know how the be actual men and LEAD. Women are horrible leaders and men need to realize pussy is essentially worthless compared to what a man brings to the table. Patrice O Neil should be required reading material to young men in the 18-25 age group.

I always thought a great quote from Fight Club was: “We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”

I don't think I would of ever married if I found Red Pill in my early 20s. I see a lot of women who are 28+ now and they are absolute shit shows not to mention I don't find many women attractive anymore because it seems none of them take care of themselves. It's almost as if I have a skewed view of the world at this point.

[–]Krsna1080 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What do you mean woman are not taking care of themselves? Market research show facial creams, vitamins and other plastic surgery is increasing every year

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's amng men.

[–]Whitefarmer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good post! I try and keep in mind that you don’t know what a unicorn would do if put in situations. If a girl has been thought something’s and you see how she handled it that’s closer to the truth.

I vetted by getting drunk with her and being a asshole to the point of her crying and lying was not a option. I was fresh red pill and figured she was all the things RP say woman are. I was totally zero fucks and out to seek the truth. Turns out that is a good frame to operate out of because she has become exactly what I expect from a woman.

Awalt is true in my opinion so if you want a good woman make one

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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