Types Of Flirting (self.TheRedPill)
submitted 1 month ago by UpperRedSide
How's it going my guys?
This was posted by myself on another account but I deleted all my shit because I almost got doxxed. Anyway, I’m back to posting and I found some old stuff I’d written up and thought I’d weigh in with my two cents.
Apart from groping someone, (like a rapist), or straight up telling them "I like you," (like a middle schooler), flirting is the only viable way adults have of informing someone of their interest. It’s also a question of showing interest without actually showing interest, basically clueing a girl in that your interaction could go somewhere without telegraphing any neediness.
We can go on and on about how being confident, being charismatic, and other "inner game" concepts will land you your dream girl, but let's be honest, inner game without outer is like a car with a full gas tank and a dead battery.
Some believe that learning "lines" and "techniques" to "use on girls" is sterile and inhuman and robotic, but it doesn't have to be that way. In order to engage in proper, technical flirting that is still natural and doesn't reduce you to a computer, it's important to understand the psychology behind each kind of flirting and how it makes them work. I've detailed four distinct styles of flirting that you can mix and match to supercharge your game. With each individual style of flirting comes a positive emotional response that will result from it, and while I'm no psychologist, I'm well read enough to know why.
Let me show you.
This is the act of pretending to be annoyed by, angry at, or outraged with a girl in a playful, joking way. Mock arguing, basically.
So why, and how, does this work?
When children play fight, it's beneficial to social development and can result in feelings of comfort and rapport between or among them, and has also shown to help them in forming bonds with their peers.
Being "false confrontational" is a form of socio-dramatic play that accomplishes all of the above. Below are a few examples. You can use these exact lines if you want to, but you likely won't have to, since understanding the underlying concept should give you the ability to make up your own:
"Ugh I hate you."
"What am I gonna do with you?"
"I can't believe you!"
"Are you trying to get your ass kicked?"
"Go. Leave, Get away from me."
"You do not want to fuck with me."
"Ugh! Sometimes I just can't stand you."
I think I don't have to explain that your delivery should be congruent with your intentions. If you say something like this to a girl with a scowl on your face, or even remotely serious in any way, you're gonna make yourself look like an asshat and no woman is going to want to be within five miles of you, (unless she has mental issues.) Any of these lines, or any line similar, delivered with a smile and exaggerated bravado is sure to get a real laugh out of any girl.
This is one of my favorite. "Framing the girl" is the act of accusing the girl of being the sexual aggressor in your interactions. Your words and actions portray that she is trying to get in your pants, not vice versa. This works because it's reverse psychology. Girls don't want an easy guy. They want to feel as if they've made a "catch." They want to work for it, and feel like they've won something in the end. That's why everyone says you should act like "the prize," because girls like to win. If you end up on a date with this girl or you end up sleeping together, you want her to feel like it was kinda her idea. Examples are below:
"Why are you hitting on me?"
"Do you say that to all the guys?"
"Whoa, slow down cowgirl. I'm a proper southern christian man.“
“Are you always this forward?”
"Hey. Let's get to know one another first."
"Nice try, but talking like that isn't gonna get you in my pants."
"Stop flirting with me!"
"Did you just look at my ass?"
"Flattery isn't gonna get you laid sweetheart."
“You just want me for my body.”
I've used these before, and let me tell you, the responses are priceless. Along with most of them being flat out hilarious, the less a girl felt pressured into having sex with me, the more open she was to the idea. In fact, the more closed off you appear to having sex, the more she’ll take it as a challenge. That’s why if she says she doesn’t fuck on the first date and you respond by asking her why she’s talking about sex when you only just met and say you don’t fuck until the twentieth date, all of a sudden she’s trying to fuck you in the venue bathroom that very day.
This is the simple act of comparing the girl to something else in a silly, teasing, goofy kind of way.
Studies have shown that girls are often very attracted to something called "benevolent sexism." This is basically when a man treats a woman as lesser, but in a protector, caretaker kind of way. Woman want to feel smaller near their man. That doesn't mean they want to feel put down on an emotionally damaging level, but just remember that some girls call their SOs "daddy" in bed, and that should put things in perspective. The simple template is that the X is an adjective and the Y is a noun, but both are humorous, if not slightly demeaning:
"You're so adorable. You're like a (small woodland animal.)"
"Your ears are so cute. It's like you're Dumbo."
"You're so small it's just like an oompa loompa. I bet you get turned away when trying to get on theme park rides."
Think endearment in a patronizing way, similar to how you'd take the piss out of your kid sister if you have one.
Push Pull is the simple act of making two statements that are polar opposite one after the other. Giving someone a compliment in one clause and teasing them in the next is a perfect template. The reason Push Pull works so well with girls (I like to call it the holy grail of flirting) is because when you use it, you speak their language. Girls are experts at playing hot and cold and screwing with other's emotions, hence they go absolutely apeshit when it's done to them. "You're hot and you're cold/You're yes and you're no" in the immortal words of Katy Perry. They go on a mini emotional roller coaster and remain guessing throughout your entire interaction. They eat that shit up. Examples below:
"I usually go for the dark haired girls, but I think I can make an exception."
"If you were blonde you'd be perfect."
"That's so weird. I love it."
"You're such a little shit. I like you."
"That's an odd color. It looks amazing on you."
You know, I actually kinda like you, it's just that, sometimes I can't stand you."
"I hate you so much." Push “I'm just kidding come here." Pull close.
Now that you have very specific outlines on how to flirt, your game should improve by leaps and bounds. I see so many individuals on this subreddit asking for "actionable steps." If only they knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and why they are saying it.
I get that.
I've always been less interested in concepts, more hungry for the action itself.
Inner game is important, but flirting is a skill that can be deduced into a science. I hope I've helped some of you chumps out.
[–]modAutoModerator[M] [score hidden] 1 month ago stickied comment (0 children)
Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 93 points94 points95 points 1 month ago (9 children)
Good post, brother.
I think it's true. You need to have an understanding of outter game, dynamics. That's true in almost any context where you interact with people, for a specific reason or purpose. Otherwise things just die down to general rambling or small talk. No direction.
The key, though, is having this shit up your sleeve. Not pre-preparing shit like a PUA. This all comes out in 'the flow'.
These are some really simple techniques, which most importantly illicit an emotional response.
I really like your explanation of push pull. A lot of the time I see the push and pull split up. For example,a guy will say the push, then wait for a response, then try to pull.
That's a little dangerous, as it leaves it open for you to think you're a cunt. The push pull done this quick, is like a bomb to the hamster. You're actually pulling, just with a little something to make the hamster go 'hang on, what did he just say'?
Anyway, good post. Always good to see outter game concepts, not scripts.
[–]hazelstein 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Let's eat Dick! Let's eat, Dick!
Proper commas can save you a lot of faggotry.
[–]Zenith8 37 points38 points39 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Do you, realize, how, to use commas?
[+]1INNASKILLZ2K18 comment score below threshold-9 points-8 points-7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Lmao. You realise how little I give a fuck?
[–]fds_1 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (4 children)
PUA doesn't prepare shit, get your facts right. The artists actually advise against it. What I got from PUA is a system not a script.
[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (3 children)
How'd they go teaching you not to take shit so personally 😂
[–]fds_1 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
This isn't be being hurt, this is me whenever people say dumb shit without any knowledge on it.
[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Yes. This is you angry. Which means you've personalised it.
[–]fds_1 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You can't read my emotions through a text. Also, stop making excuses and just admit you were wrong.
[–]Churff 20 points21 points22 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Thank you so much for the push pull piece, I’ve been here for 2 and a half years and still didn’t have a full grasp of it. I’ll definitely be bookmarking this, great post
[–]Onein1024th 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Seconded. I needed this post a year ago. 10/10
[–]revente -1 points0 points1 point 3 weeks ago (1 child)
Then maybe leave "here" and go test shit in action yourself.
[–]Churff 1 point2 points3 points 3 weeks ago (0 children)
Wow bro you’re so cool bro can I be like you? How can I be like you?
[–]NoKoala4 41 points42 points43 points 1 month ago (3 children)
This is a great post, we need more of these type of stuff, more context for beginners.
[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman79 23 points24 points25 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Yeah this is old-school TRP, the good stuff: straight to the point, concrete examples and explanation of why they work.
We need more of this and less novels about some anecdotal bullshit.
[–]KagoKija 3 points4 points5 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)
I miss those old trp posts - any way I can easily access them?
[–]DAOcomment2 38 points39 points40 points 1 month ago* (1 child)
You're like a wise little seduction buddha. Are you trying to make me waste time on reddit? I hate how much I love it. I don't usually upvote posts. Now leave me alone, OP. Wait. Come here. Hold still. There's something in your eye.
[–]AlphaTrumpsfapping 39 points40 points41 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Me: There's different type of flirting?!
[–]EdmondDaunts 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
To bring in another concept from another post, you must also watch for disengagement and determine if you want to continue flirting and building the possibilities.
Watch what they do not what they say. But sometimes watch how they say stuff. There is nothing wrong in being told to essentially fuck off. Hopefully it doesn’t get to that. But listening to tone is also essential and comes with practice. And that applies to all relationships.
Women often have other shit going on and even cultural differences. So you may need to calibrate. At times if it doesn’t work end the interaction but don’t hold a grudge.
[–]UpperRedSide[S] 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago* (1 child)
Very good analysis. Totally agree. It’s always time better spent pursuing interested prospects than trying to get disinterested ones. A good skill to learn is the skill to move on. Not grudgingly, but pick your battles.
[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
She's either yes, no or maybe. Why I go in totally outcome independent
[–]GodOfDinosaurs 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
"False Confrontational" and "You're so X it's just like Y" are incredibly effective and easy to pull off. These come pretty naturally if you're a playful person. Every girl I've been with LOVES being compared to a 'small woodland creature'. It makes them feel small and cute, which makes them feel sexual. Good post
[–]ArdAtak 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Very concise. Great examples. Thanks.
[–]coolsilver 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Don't forget the importance of physical flirting. Being playful and teasing with touch can also get very good results. The more you enter her space the more comfortable she will be later on. If she doesn't resist early on you can be certain she at least has some interest.
[–]UpperRedSide[S] 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yes. I’m probably gonna make a write up of kinesthetic flirting and compliance testing. There’s a lot to discuss and it would be too much to add to this post.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yea bro just run cat string theory game on a women, out of the 100s of guys chasing her im sure ull stand out more for what you say rather than your physical appearance. Just speak to my bro entrepreneur in cars, its all about masculine energy who just so happens to be over 6 foot tall
[–]ItzClobberinTime 1 point2 points3 points 1 week ago (0 children)
Dude for all my life i cant flirt after looki g it up i still couldnt but with this post you made it ll clear thanks man.
[–]yomo86 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago (0 children)
I like it. It's like in the Army. You cannot prepare for a specific battle 100% but having nailed down some basics can be the difference between a decivice victory or utter defeat.
[–]Keyboard_Warrior805 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago (0 children)
Holy shit, I've been doing all of these and I never even realized it
[+]KuanLuPi comment score below threshold-9 points-8 points-7 points 1 month ago (16 children)
This is not much better than middle school. Let’s say high school? But I don’t really know the age range of OP so maybe it’s fine
[–]DAOcomment2 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (4 children)
This playful playground teasing works on women of any age my dude. Get off the internet and joke like this with elderly women. They'll be tickled. They know what's up.
[–]KuanLuPi -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (3 children)
I’m not saying it couldn’t work sometimes, but mostly it comes off as strange to me. Especially since it’s so common for inexperienced guys to say stuff like “oh My GoD I hATe YoU So MucH!”
Don’t worry about me man, I’ve been doing fine for 12 years (I’m 28) without internet guidelines.
I just think there’s a class of women, a better class, that is being shut out of your pool by this behavior.
[–]DAOcomment2 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
"How did that educated, mature, sophisticated lady with all these amazing options go for that sleaze?" said every bluepill beta ever. This works best on classy "quality" women because they are the ones most yearning to let their hair down and fall into the role of a dorky yet protected/loved little girl with Chad Daddy.
[–]KuanLuPi 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’ve honestly never thought or wondered that.
I think you’re over thinking this whole thing. It’s not as hard as many of you here want to make it.
I’m guessing this has a sort of cult or MLM effect where you are taught to disregard failures or successes that don’t fit the narrative?
All I’m saying is good luck with that style of flirtation. It might get you convos with desperate or juvenile women, but I’ve never needed it and have actively avoided it and I always date girls far more attractive than I am
[–]look_up_there 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm 27 and use this shit on 18-25 yr olds all the time and it still works like a charm. SMV plays a big role too. Also might have something to do with where I live (aus), who knows.
[–]russian_nigger -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 month ago (9 children)
given the average redditor is about 16 you're not far off. this is high school material which is cool for those that need it, but if you're an adult using these lines i feel bad for you
[–]KuanLuPi 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (8 children)
Right, I mean some of these lines are straight from my buddies on the high school football team who graduated virgins. I think maybe OP is going after girls that are desperate for any attention
[–]russian_nigger 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (7 children)
the theory is on point for sure, just not the examples provided. cringe.
[–]KuanLuPi 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (6 children)
I’d be curious to know what biker/dive bar he’s picking up women with “i hAtE yOuR haIR, well maybe I can make an eXcepTiOn”.
Amateur hour, negging, and telegraphing your own insecurities is all you’ll get from these examples.
I hope kids aren’t going out and actually trying this nonsense.
[–]russian_nigger 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
i don't know about bike bars. i used to frequent bike bars in the past for years and those broads are some tough bitches. i found bluntness and straightforwardness works the best on those
[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
well how would you pick up women in biker bars? i'm not talking about your SMV, i'm talking about a legit strategy to flirt with them.
i didn't see you commented with your strategies on an upper comment too.
[–]KuanLuPi 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago* (2 children)
If I were wont to do so, I wouldn’t devise a “strategy” to do so. I guess that’s where my style differs from what the sub promotes?
Besides, I was mentioning women in a biker bar as a derogatory sort of thing anyway. Nothing I would actively seek, but the only place I’ve seen negging be occasionally effective
Edit: also, I am not very initiated in the cult, so I don’t get cult speak like SMV. Care to explain?
[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
Everybody has a general strategy. And you still didnt answer my question, how would you do it?
Glossary is in the sidebar my man.
[–]KuanLuPi 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago* (0 children)
I did answer your question. Go re-read my comment if you’re still confused ;)
Also, I’m in mobile so I don’t see a glossary, my man. But with the “every body XYZs so how do you ABC if you don’t MNO?” Is verrrrry culty.
But I guess I would just talk to them. Bars are pretty easy environments to talk.
Nothing more beta than over strategizing and clinging to some bible of internet jargon when it’s possible to have success just acting natural, dawg
[–]Lambdal7 -5 points-4 points-3 points 1 month ago (9 children)
Needs disclaimer that it onyl works in very high energy environments, clubs and only if the girl already kind of likes you.
[–]DeChef2 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (8 children)
Why so many ifs? If you are talking to a girl, you can also flirt with her. Heck if you see a girl, you can open and flirt with her.
If clubs are the only places you see women, I’m not sure how to help you.
But if the girl already likes you?? Really? You do realize the point of flirting is to make girls like you.
Finally, stop cock-blocking yourself. You put up all these little false requirements that stops you from flirting with girls. Stop. Just have fun with it.
[–]Lambdal7 -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 month ago (7 children)
Nah, if the girl does not like you yet, you need to build rapport for several Minutes at least. If you start flirting directly saying if she’s looking at your ass, a girl will tell you to fuck off. That’s gamey as fuck, and also called autistic game.
[–]UpperRedSide[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (6 children)
You’ve gotten it backwards. You don’t build rapport before attraction. That’s the quickest way to get friend zoned.
[–]Lambdal7 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (5 children)
Friend zone only exists for noobs who dont know how to escalate.
I can be in the friendzone with a girl for years and just say a few man-to-woman vibe words and escalate. :D
[–]DeChef2 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (4 children)
In the friendzone for a year?? What?
It doesn’t work like that. First off, where is your abundance? Also, if you’ve been there for years, some words isn’t going to dispel the orbiter image she sees in you.
[–]Lambdal7 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (3 children)
If you have already have several plates, it’s better to have hot female friends as wingwomen. Hot women know hot women.
Having several female friends gives a magnitude of more abundance than plating them.
[–]DeChef2 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Well yeah, obviously. Having a hot female friend is different than being in the friendzone of a hot female...
well, you're in the friendzone if you let yourself be in it.
i'd say the friendzone is having a hot female friend BUT wanting to have sex with her and not getting it. i'd say if you have her as a friend but your plate pipeline is full and you particularly don't like her, you're not friendzoned (if she's not using you as an emotional tampon). this could make an interesting discussion.
[–]DeChef2 0 points1 point2 points 3 weeks ago (0 children)
Eh, a girl can put you in the friendzone and you can leave it by leaving her orbit. So yes, you’re there by choice, but usually those in there don’t realize it’s by choice.
It’s basically oneitis, although you’ve already expressed your feelings for her. So if you do have plates, you can’t really be in the friendzone cuz you don’t have oneitis.
[+]CalfsOnDeck comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
This is cancer, wtf did I just read.
[–]UpperRedSide[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
What kind of cancer? I’m hoping it’s bone cancer and you die of it. :)