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132

I Fucked Up a ONS and Now I'm Laughing at Myself (self.asktrp)

submitted by thesatellite23

Met an HB8 last week. She was highly interested in me and seemed eager to setup a date. We went out for a drink later, then bounced back to my apartment under the pretext of watching a movie.

For some stupid ass reason, I became so focused on actually watching the damn movie. I wasn't nervous about escalating -- I was planning on going for it after the movie -- but my sexual brain just completely shut off for awhile. Obviously she "had to leave" later and stormed out.

Looking back, I'm totally laughing at myself. What the fuck was I thinking? I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not too salty though because she was plate material at best.

No contact since then. I bet she has deleted my number lmao. If by a small chance she does reach out, I plan to rebuild attraction and see what happens.

How do I prevent that situation from happening again? How do I keep my RP mindset on at all times?


[–]L3onard3185 points186 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Pick a shittier movie. There’s a post about this somewhere.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar95 points96 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This. The best movie is a light comedy that you both have already seen.

That way it's funny, keeps the mood light, and -- most importantly -- it's okay to talk over the movie.

[–]Foolishoe14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like Friday.

[–]sebastianconcept4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good logistic! I’ll remember this one

[–]thesatellite23[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao true. Gotta remember that for next time.

[–]EnemyAsmodeus55 points56 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stop giving him advice like this... That woman deserved to know that movies are worth watching. Disrespecting the director like that...

[–]eddimioa16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't forget the producers!

[–]Greaterbird10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The original or the remake? I hear "Springtime for Hitler" really brings out the authoritarian in girls.

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most movies are, this is easy

[–]YouNeverKnowAnyone134 points135 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a good movie. What was it?

[–]hatethiscity56 points57 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This guy's asking the real questions.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

2 girls 1 cup

[–]Capt_Am7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And this is the correct answer.

[–]SemperPrimus16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Magic Mike

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The one were the guy keeps pissing on girls

[–]YouNeverKnowAnyone4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

;)

[–]D4rkr4in4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

R Kelly??

[–]zboo1h1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This guy cinemas

[–]effyouasshole67 points68 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do I prevent that situation from happening again?

Next time, pick up an 8/10 dude from a gay bar. The movie probably won't distract you from the raging boner in your pants telling you to escalate.

[–]NoReallyItsTrue42 points43 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Uh, what is everyone talking about? That's some macho something-to-prove compensating bullshit if you think you've made a mistake by not having sex with a woman and instead enjoying yourself by watching a movie. There is nothing wrong with preferring watching a cool movie to having sex. As a community that preaches self respect, I'd expect the response would be more like "so what?"

[–]spawnend15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lmao trp’s dead dude. Glad i caught the last of its golden years.

[–]Psycholephant8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been here a while. The sex addicts have always been here.

[–]Jack-Casper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I cant believe the shit I see on here now

[–]AnIslandForYourself 1 points [recovered]  (13 children) | Copy Link

Was that movie so interesting that it distracted you from fucking an HB8 next to you?You must have some weak ass sexual thoughts for this to happen.You could've watched the movie while an HB8 rode your dick and even teased her and had some fun by commenting on the movie as she was riding.

Set an autism reminder on your phone "don't forget have sex with girl sitting right next to you".

[–]thesatellite23[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shit. This is what I need to read. "Set an autism reminder" lmao. Im cracking up. Will do.

[–]jbpostv-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Glad thesatellite23 had the frame to laugh this off but you're a jackass dude. People on this forum jumping to autism suspicions makes me feel like people on TRP are more likely to suspect they might have mild autism than the general population. 1.7% of people have autism and someone strikes out due to fear, apathy or sexual dysfunction of the psyche and now they're mentally handicapped. Or maybe you just have project self-loathing and soothe how insecure you feel about yourself by putting people down on the internet. Let me know if I need to dumb that down for you.

Very trashy and beta of you. Be better you really can.

[–]AnIslandForYourself 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying he has autism.It was a joke.I don't have anything against people with autism.Lol you really took that seriously?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

makes me feel like people on Reddit are more likely to suspect they might have mild autism than the general population.

FTFY

[–]aDrunkenWhaler5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a very autistic coment.

[–]jbpostv2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

*comment

[–]1PotatoWatt26 points27 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

bro, here is what I got from this:

You actually care. Otherwise you wouldnt be posting here. Stop lying to yourself. The only way to stop faking stuff is to face it head on and take the beating, the pain, the failure and embrace it. Know that it is part of life. And then you will grow.

Its harder than faking it, but the reward will be much better. Like you can fuck fatties and not work on your body? Sure. But if you work on your body, you will fuck much hotter and cuter pussy and the rewards will pay for the pain.

Stop acting like you dont care. You do care.

I myself just did that shit a few months ago, I dont know how I even manged to fail so hard. I did worse than you, I fucked up over the course of SEVERAL netflix and chill with the same chick. Now imagine that shit. Stop changing the focus to "the movie was too interesting" and be responsible. You were a pussy about it. Now you regret. I know it hurts. And I can tell you this: It will hurt even more in a few weeks.

How to stop that from happening again? Imagine you are a toddler, someone tells you that the stove is hot, to not touch it. But eventually you forget that shit because who cares, and you touch it. It hurt like a motherfucker. And from then on, you will NEVER again touch the stove.

The only way for you to never fail again is to fail so hard that you spend nights crying how much of a pussy you are. Thats how you can prevent it.

You either meet a girl you really really really like, and fail hard and then you spend months just learning how your mind works and then you will learn and mature, or you fail a bunch of times with 'lesser' girls and it will do the trick aswell.

[–]shitwiththatass1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He laughed off his mistakes which is probably something you should probably learn to do too

[–]thesatellite23[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I do care a small amount...but not because of her, but because of much of an idiot I acted. I was literally laughing out loud at myself yesterday upon thinking about my situation. I'm attracted to her, yes, but she has tons of red flags -- tats, smokes weed, takes depression meds, etc. So I ultimately do not give a fuck because our relationship would've been worth a few fucks anyways.

[–]1PotatoWatt4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know bro I know, I feel you. Best thing I can tell you is this: Experience mixed with TRP knowledge gives you such a amazing boost its unfair to anyone else. But for it to work you need to fail, connect the dots and go up to it again. Now you learned that if you dont escalate at easy situations like that you will lose the pussy. Thats just how life is. Expose yourself to more situations.

A few keypoints that really shined through my brain:

  • As a man, you shouldnt only be motivated by motivation but also by discipline. "I dont feel like going to the gym today... I want to eat doritos." but then you need to think about it: Will you want short term pleasure (eating doritos) over going to the gym and after returning home feeling awesome for going and reap the gainz on the long run? This is where most people give up and stick to short term pleasure and are never trully happy.

  • Get that pressure of your shoulders bro. Sure, dont be a lazy faggot. But dont act like you should have all the answers. Life is hard but you need to enjoy it. Enjoy life. Try new things.

  • Stop overthinking. Stop giving a fuck (theres a lot to 'stop giving a fuck' but I think you got the gist)

  • Not everything is black and white. Alpha or beta.

  • You will only learn by failing. Next time a scenario comes through where you failed you know where you failed and what you need to do and you will do it right.

  • I know regret hurts, moving on is tough, get you some really true close friends (female or male, depends on the person. But if female be very very careful on who you pick) that really understand you and let it all out. Ask for advice. If you cant find some true bros or broettes you can open up to, then go to a phycologist and just open up. It really helps trust me.

Remember, you will be ok, you are making progress everytime you fail. Its not win or fail. Its Win, Fail or do nothing. Instead of failing and trying you could just be in your bed playing video games 24/7 being a fat fuck (not saying video games are bad, but too much is ) not knowing what even sparks a girls interest in you. Hell, if you got a girl in your bed once, it means you are doing something right. Who says you cant do it again?

One thing tho: Im actually struggling with this as its a hard mindset to change: Its easier to find new girls than fix ones you fucked up with. I know its hard but its true.

Peace out

[–]void-z0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So much truth in your text that it hurts. Thank you man.

Especially your last Sentence.

[–]EnemyAsmodeus-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You dodged a bullet and YOU were right... the movie was more interesting... What was the movie called again?

How dare you laugh at yourself, your old self made the right choice.

[–]travlingsomewhere0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

spend nights crying how much of a pussy you are

People like you in this sub are so toxic. Why do you think speaking to someone like that is beneficial at all? It doesn’t make you seem manly or “alpha”. This isn’t “tough love”. You’re just being a asshole.

[–]1PotatoWatt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey man I feel you, I really do, because when I made posts here before I actually got the replies you are talking about and they didnt help me at all. Thats not what I meant here, I meant it as in he will spend time thinking about what he is done. And how much of a 'pussy' (aka fear of escalating) he was, I went through this pain recently thats why im sharing what helped me out while always letting him know that there are always two sides to a coin, what worked for one person may not work for another. But most of the times this isnt true.

Basically I want to pass on this point: You need to spend your own personal time when you are alone with your mind thinkin about the actions you did. You need to spend time cringing and actually asking yourself "why was I so afraid to escalate?" (aka. being a pussy), if I try to sugarcoat things and expressions people become lazy. I've been there so im talking from what worked for me.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

are so toxic

This is not your gender studies course.

[–]BackOnGameJP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That quote exactly describes what I did after a few big fails. The pain is real. Big motivation for success thought.

[–]SupremeBBC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah... He was being a pussy tho

[–]Bigboyleggos1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

On a scale of 1-10, how sore is your throat today? Is your scalp sore? Does it hurt to poop? Do you have any........ anal leakage?

If this place loses it down & dirty way of calling men out on their bullshit it's entirely usless. Men grow via struggle & tough love from the world. If you have balls hanging between your legs understand & embrace that. If your a chick, gtfo of our "locker room".

;) have a great day!

[–]indian_booty5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Could you expand on how you established attraction, with emphasis on how your confident was (mellow or high) and your conversations to wrap her in?

[–]thesatellite23[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I met her and her friend at a party. We went to a bar later. I built light kino. Typical flirting. My confidence was sky-high, and I actually approached a few other women at the party too. It was getting late and I needed to work in the morning, so we all parted. I gave her a strong hug and said that we will go on a date soon.

Minimal texting for the next two days. She seemed super-eager, like I said. So I setup a date and we met at another bar that was hosting an event that I was invited to. My confidence was a bit lower this time, but still fine. I just wasn't riding an adrenaline wave. I suggested we go back to my apartment and she enthusiastically agreed.

Cuddled up on the couch and turned on a movie. My sexuality just jumped out the window at that point.

After the movie, I started rubbing her leg. She looked at her phone and made an excuse to leave. Thinking it was just ASD, I pushed a little bit farther. But she actually got an Uber and straight-up walked away. While leaving she said, "You can come back to my place." But there's no way in hell I would've chased her like a beta bitch. I just let bygones be bygones.

[–]indian_booty-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What did you talk about on both your dates to establish connection?

Thats really my issue right now. I get stuck in conversations and can’t go on. Its not an experience issue, but a mindset one (grew up conservative, shy) and I sincerely loathe questions like “where do you work” and “where are you from”. The thing is, I realize how it should be, but draw a blank.

*So what kind of conversations did you engage in to induce the excitement she had? * I realize different strokes for different folks, but I need an idea as to how people hold long ass conversations without it being awkward or getting a fog brain.

[–]thesatellite23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good question, I think I'm decent at conversing and verbally flirting. A few points:

-Don't think about what you're saying. -Compliment things that you notice about her. Her nail polish, makeup, dress, whatever. If she's pretty, tell her. -Female minds jump around alot. Especially when multiple females are together. So should your conversation. If she says something, make a joke that is related to the topic, but also drastically shifts it. It's all about taking her on an emotional rollercoaster.

[–]That_Deaf_Guy4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you looking for a script?

[–]indian_booty10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you remember how certain concepts in school were hard to learn but once you saw a working example of how it works, the concepts too became clear?

Not a very different story.

[–]proplfax19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i'm way too horny to ever forget to take my dick out. questioning your test levels or you have some serious anxiety you're playing off.

[–]CapIshmael13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok, Freud

[–]AngelusAeternam3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is hilarious. Drink less next time

[–]thesatellite23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol now that I think about it, I did need to get up and piss a few times during the movie. Alcohol drains my bladder.

[–]prince0verit3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

https://pics.me.me/when-you-invite-her-over-for-a-night-of-movies-21575686.png

[–]thesatellite23[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg I'm deceased

[–]AnyDoughnut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"How do I prevent that situation from happening again?"

If the movie was good and that interested you more than banging her then you did the right thing. Just because we have dicks doesn't mean we need to always be thinking with our dicks. Though if you really did want to bang her but are using the movie as an excuse for not making a move then you need to work on your confidence and assertiveness.

[–]almagest2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We've all been there - I had a girl over to "watch a movie", started making out with her then fucking WENT BACK to catch the part we missed while making out. She left a few minutes later and I never saw her again. Don't blame her.

Laugh at yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on.

[–]jbpostv2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think there's something telling that you didn't feel compelled to sleep with her. Its one of two things:

  1. You have sexual blockage. Something I definitely struggle with. For fear of rejection, the anxiety that often accompanies escalation and sometimes the power that accompanies rejecting someone, you've developed sexual shutdown as a soothing defense mechanism. You can't drown in a river if theres a dam upstream. Problem is you can't go fishing either. Try to think of your attraction and sexual arousal as a wavelength of energy you deserve to feel and enjoy. Practice by having sexual thoughts about women you're making moves on early on and embrace the horn-doggedness of the human male. A lot of subtle anti-male social conditioning makes guys feel like creeps for feeling aroused by a woman in person and acting on it.
  2. You weren't in the mood or she didn't really excite you. Maybe you were tired. Maybe you have dating fatigue. Maybe you're a bit depressed. I don't really know for sure but if you didn't feel like going for the kill thats ok. You didn't want it and you didn't want it. Don't hold yourself accountable to pursue sexual opportunities if you're not interested in them.

[–]1TyroneTheDriver2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean... yeah you goofed... but....

just call her again.

If you do it twice in a row ill give you $20

[–]machimus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, I mean getting laid is great, but you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing what you really want to do, even if that’s not (gasp) getting laid every single time and seeing a great movie instead.

[–]goathunter052 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao just say "yo sorry bout the other night, I was just so into the movie I forgot to make a move"

[–]nobody_thinks4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

listen to your gut bro. there couldhave been something about her that was a major turn off and your subconscious checked out. boner test is a real thing.

(this is granting that it was not fear and you are not hamstering).

[–]thesatellite23[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not fear -- I wasn't nervous, and I have fucked other girls in similar situations before. Literally the thought of fucking her didnt cross my mind for some reason.

[–]nobody_thinks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

then like i said something was wrong with her. maybe she smelled funny. or maybe she was throwing IOD.

[–]ghjklzxcv1234 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You dont even care about an hb8. Abundance is real bro.

[–]thesatellite23[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True -- I do have three dates lines up this week. One with an ugly chick (but hey, practice makes perfect). Another with an HB6 that I've hooked up with before. And one with some chick I just met off Hinge. Shit...I don't even have time for another plate right now.

[–]CaptainKidd961 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What's the name of the movie? I am genuinely curious.

[–]xddm26531 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What movie OP? It was 300 wasn't it?

[–]thesatellite23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Close -- that movie was recommended on my queue lmao. It was some stupid horror movie, don't even remember the name

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you just weren't into her much.

Or maybe you're gay? heh

More fish in the sea, n all that. You'll remember this next time.

[–]fredo_o1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I almost fucked up like that, took me half an hour before I made the move. Then back to movie then she made the move and you know how it goes

Better luck next time and pick a crap movie

[–]Fuckovski2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Get your testosterone levels checked bro, that’s not normal.

[–]thesatellite23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm...good suggestion. Hadn't thought about that.

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Quantity, I guess you were internally not ready for sexual relationship with her. It is okay, try it out more times and it will happen. But you should be honest with her that you are here to have something, movie can be watched later. It is weird sometimes when you try something during the movie.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Movies are a shitter idea for a date.

[–]Rimefang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ayylmao

[–]strpnzo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Watch discovery channel.

[–]thesatellite23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe watching animals mate would've given me a hint...

[–]alphafili0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Remember the bigger picture.

[–]1XXXMersenne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your motivational see-saw hadn't tipped

You need the leverage from these experiences so you're more proactive later. You probably didn't believe you would sleep with her so it wasn't on your agenda - of course to avoid the direct perception of this realisation you got 'carried away' with the movie.

Insert coin & try again and Nice one for getting that far in the first place.

[–]Cryptoguru7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We all have 'bad' days. I've had so much sex lately I literally have days where I don't want to have sex. You could have something on your mind or just tired. Doesn't matter. If she bailed on you for this alone good fucking riddance.

[–]Revoc1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get this totally 100%. I have had a few situations where my sexual brain turns off completely, usually as a result of fucking another girl that morning combined with drinking and feeling guilty that im cheating on the girl I fucked that morning.

Trust me it is better that you let her bounce without trying to fuck and escalating only to find there is a limp spagetti noodle that wont get hard until right after she leaves... it has happened to me twice both with women who were incrediblely incredibly hot. I beggeed both come back... neither one did.. then suddenly im focused on working out, not drinking and viola... im rotating three new chicks passing out orgasms like I have a score to settle and my pad is once again overrun like the shoe department at Nordstroms.

[–]travlingsomewhere-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did this before. I met up with this girl at her house and we went in her room. She said her mom had a “closed door policy” where the doors HAD to be shut. So that should’ve been my sign. We ended up getting in her bed putting on a movie and I fell asleep. Lol

[–]SerbianChadnik-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're together, alone, at home, sex is the only thing thats on the table. Escalation can be difficult outside, in the bar, on a date, or in the club, but when youre at home (especially if its yours) at least for me it comes a lot easier because you can be certsin she knows what is supposed to happen. "Netflix and chill", lmao.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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