TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

49

I followed Red Pill Women and was there when the split came about to Red Pill Wives. I only posted once, and I quickly deleted because it was a truth I could not handle.

You cannot have a drunk captain was pretty much every response, and I chose wrong.

After doing everything, I handed over the finances for my husband to control because I was getting abused. At the time we had stocks, a diversified portfolio, I tried to get him to max out his matched 401k (I am a longtime user of reddit).

One example of what I accomplished with the finances is credit card churning where our availability went from 5k to over 100k in less than 5 years. Meal prepping, cooking and sewing, making sure everything was done, even the trash. Nice dinner spreads, taking care of yourself, being available ect.

Well, you mods and women were right.

You Cannot Have A Drunk Captain (and I chose wrong).

I haven’t gotten the financial declaration yet, but it seems as though all the credit cards are maxed in less than 2.5 years...savings gone. I was cheated on with at least one man (many more, probably), and many women as well as sex workers.

I am going through a divorce (I petitioned for it) as I’m hitting the wall and I have a child in wedlock. Take care of your skin, take care of your babies, and still make goals. I actually have pretty good genes, but I don’t look 18, I look about 23-26 (it’s mostly my genes, diet, and skincare routine), but it is very clear my age on my elbows and when I look in the mirror naked after having a child...so it can only go so far 😅

This is a cautionary tale, as I chose wrong, but opening up the finances to someone with at least one substance problem and a very lavish lifestyle, there is little left. I’m not responsible for what he did, but I was responsible, and I still hold my vows, even if he didn’t.

He put my health at risk and I may not get money, but there will probably be a settlement when it’s all over due to what was done to me. Towards the end my child and I were isolated to one room at night and he didn’t want me to even speak to my family (projection because of his infidelities).

I’m okay, but I have a long road ahead, and my life has drastically changed.

I’m not interested in dating, just moving forward.

I need to apologize that I didn’t follow the advice and my cognitive dissonance was a big hurdle.

Please do not choose a captain that has a substance abuse. Everything will be “your fault” and the cycle of abuse happens gradually.

It wasn’t physical, so I want to emphasize that, unless you count that he put my health at risk with being with other people and coming back to me.

Divorce was NEVER what I wanted, but I have to choose my child over a pathological liar, even if it means working many jobs.

I am now going to be a “single mother”, but at least one that will no longer have prototypes of abuse perpetuated to our child.

I know men age like wine and women like milk, but the “women” he was with...weren’t very pretty, smart, or even talented. He told me “He wasn’t looking for a relationship, and it’s all about numbers”. This is what was said to me just last week and I’m his wife and the mother of his child.

This post may be against the rules, but it is the truth; I should have listened and found this community before I said my vows.

I apologize to the women I did not follow your knowledge.

I’m sorry and have to move forward.

On the positive side, I did take care of myself, and even though I do not want to date, I can look myself in the mirror and be proud of being a person who survived yet another chapter in my life, so beauty in, beauty out.

I hope and wish you all good luck, and again, I’m very sorry I did not follow the advice because if I had, maybe things could have been different, but you cannot change someone, only yourself; as a woman, YOU are the gatekeeper to sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

A special thank you to a specific mod a while ago, she was wonderful and we shared many PMs after I was dragged over to the Blue Pill, and may be again. What will be, will be.

Live laugh love

Just kidding 🤣

Do.Not.Choose.A.Drunk.Captain. <———


[–]MissNietzsche 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am so sorry.

You are right though. We can be the perfect wives, but if we don’t choose the proper partner to begin with, it’ll all be worthless, or worse, even harmful to ourselves.

I just imagine what you’re going through must be really rough, and you truly have my condolences.

[–]dashdotdottEarly 30s, Married, 8 years, 10 years total3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm sorry you're going through this.

May you get the healing (mental, spiritual, and physical) you desperately need!

[–]AngelFire_3_141562 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I know because I've been in a similar place.

You might consider posting your story on r/survivinginfidelity. They can give you lots of support and advice.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find happiness.

[–]9021SomeRandomPerson 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your advice and subreddit information. I did not know that existed.

I am very sorry you were in a similar position.

May I ask how you got through it/handled it?

Thank you for the well wishes. I have gone to court for custody and I have custody (without the fear of kidnapping, because there was a threat from his family’s side and it has happened before), so that is my happiness and closure for now.

I will consider posting this or my divorce story there, as it may fit better. Thank you for the suggestion, sister.

[–]AngelFire_3_141561 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In my situation there were no children involved. I married him at 27 and was divorced at 30. I didn't handle the breakup well. I think this was due to my insecurities - body image issues (not at all helped by his infidelity - he apparently like his women more "fleshy") and abandonment issues (I'm adopted).

But I did survive, and a year and a half later met a wonderful man. We are now married with 2 kids.

The general advice for surviving is to work on yourself. What ever that means for you. Physical activity is a good stress regulator. Develop a social circle if you don't have one. I understand that this will be harder since you have children, but you also need time for you.

I wish you the best of luck.

[–]9021SomeRandomPerson 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Thank you.

I’m sorry you went through that, but so proud of you for getting through. I cannot imagine dealing with something as big as that as a child, you’re a very strong woman to pull through.

Also, congratulations on the babies 🥰. Every child is a blessing (as I believe) and glad you moved on to a happier part of your life.

Thank you for the advice. I am working on those things.

Blessings to you and your family.

[–]AngelFire_3_141561 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, but I didn't feel strong at the time. I DO NOT recommend the debauchery that I went through in the months following my divorce. In the end, it only compounded some existing problems. And since I wanted to be completely open and honest with my future husband and what happened, I felt compelled to do a lot of explaining.

My advice is to hold true to your values no matter what.

I do recommend finding a good therapist that can help you navigate the rollercoaster of emotions that if they haven't hit yet, are likely to.

[–]pirisca1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would also suggest r/divorce. Best of luck to you.

[–]TheNewBo0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

As a man, I follow this sub, and certain posts (like this one) hot home, coming from the other side. Though my wife doesn't spin plates, or swing into the open arms of any willing man, she is a terrible first mate. I would be lucky to have a wife as caring and consideration as you seem. Keep your chin up, and keep up the amazing wifing, bit only to right man of course.

[–]9021SomeRandomPerson 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women don’t “spin plates”. They’re hypergamous by nature, and it is embedded genetically. They will branch-swing if given a better offer.

You may not like the following of what I have to say, but I’ll put it out there:

I’m not going to date. The statistics are bad with that, and I have to figure out how to raise a man in today’s society of feelz for men. I need to get my child into marital arts as soon as I can afford to (even if I have to clean the place for his training, I’ll do that) and show him how to lift and diet, as a woman since his father, my husband, is a bisexual fairy drunk feelz person hooked on outside validation from others for anything with a hole. Sad but true, not venting, just telling you straight as my marital property has been used for sex with other people and to entice and manipulate these people and myself included. There’s no remorse because I found out later he was an Occultist Satanist (so he is his own god, and does not even subscribe to the popular ones). I have nothing against gay men, but men who have sex with men unprotected and have a wife that they go home to...you may want to see the CDCs records on that.

There’s a married Red Pill or used to be. There was good information on there for your situation, but if you find a person not self-aware (and many people aren’t), you cannot change them, but you can change yourself.

I don’t subscribe to some of the Older Red Pill (as man-whores do not appeal to me). Good deeds, being functional, stoic, calm but firm, and knowing how to choose your words rather than rely on manipulations are what impresses me.

There was one person, a long time ago, whose messages stood out like a sore thumb and were right on target. Some men (and this was years ago, so it may have changed) go through a lot of processes (anger mostly) but we are what we are; what differentiates us between other great apes like bonobos or chimps is our frontal lobe. If you don’t know what that is, it is the part of your brain 🧠 kind of up towards a human’s forehead. You can look up its functions. This is what can make things difficult. Yes, men and women are different. We get to choose what we do as adults and are accountable for our actions.

I’m accountable for mine, and do not regret my decisions, as I’ve learned a very valuable lesson.

You may find the Married Red Pill more your speed if it is around.

As for me, there was not a Red Pill Wives when I said my vows. I just know with my upbringing, education, and knowing through my various jobs before being married what I wanted. I wanted a family. I have one, but I didn’t want to be put on the back burner to pay for luxuries for my husband and not be able to afford prenatal care until I was 6 months along (that’s not okay, that’s negligent, which is the most common abuse). He almost dropped me off for my natural childbirth to a 10lb baby 23 inches long. I told him not to sign the birth certificate until he got a DNA test (as I’m pro men’s rights)

I’ve taken him around different countries babysitting him so he wouldn’t be mugged (he’s didn’t know about even graffiti tags in cities). I’m not a spring chicken, he took my empathy and spirituality as a way to manipulate me and told me recently. If that’s the case, so be it, His lies can only go so far.

I’ve had worse done to me, and although I face statistics against me, I’m ready for the challenge. I’m an experienced backpacker and prepper (who wanted to serve my country after college) and while this goes against this sub I only wore dresses at home, outside of the house, I’m always prepared, so don’t me fool you about great food, a clean house, financially educated, multiple people hated me behind my back as I’m not demure to outsiders. I either do not speak or speak up when I hear something wrong, as I’m not “a dumb bitch” (a person who cannot speak and used only to breed). His best friend (I found out was his lover as well, concealed carried, and I heard from my husband he was scared of me even with a .45)...long story, but he did something very bad and I will never forget it. He knows my spirituality background that involved fasting in heat with no water (you can go longer than experts say, btw),

This is just a new journey and another chapter in my life, it’s just going to be extra hard. But, I’m not dead yet after all that has happened in my life, I’m not going to give up on this. I will educate myself, make goals, and work hard to achieve them.

I don’t know if this makes sense to you (I hope it helps and appreciate your words) but as naming yourself as male, this is how I address men who choose to speak to me; take it however you may.

[–]TheNewBo0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Wow! I'll be honest, I think I'm falling in love. Hahaha in all seriousness, I'll have to read this several times over, but everything you've mentioned are all things I've come to learn within the last few years about manhood and life in general. You sound like a very high valued woman, and I hope you end up doing very well for yourself.

Personally, I am leaning a lot of the seemingly new RP attitudes.

Good deeds, being functional, stoic, calm but firm, and knowing how to choose your words rather than rely on manipulations...

I have started my journey through the trials of red pill after having a moment that cracked me wide open; if I'm not leading the weak, then I must follow the strong. Being raised by a highly narcissistic and chaotic mother who preached feminism and play herself as a victim of life, and worse, of her children, I ended up becoming a very blue pill virgin dude. The only way I got sex was from hypergamous women who used it as power over me, or played me for a pawn.

At the moment, I have been considering divorce of my wife for quite some time, but last week I had convinced myself to say, considering we are about to have a child together. She's 6 months last Wednesday, and on that day, she went ballistic. I've learn to handle her calmly, disarming her petty attempts at power (she believes in talking over other and making sure to be the last one to speak). She is one of the people you may describe as not self aware. She believes she's "woke" but can't see more than 2 feet in front of her face when it comes to reality. No trust in me to be her eyes, and no faith in me to lead us through the bad times. She knows she can't do those things, yet stand beside herself in hard times and believes I'm here to ruin what we have. Last Wednesday, I could not take what she was giving out. The irrationality was too much, her mind is made up that I'm not her to help, but to simply tell her she's wrong. I simply cannot help those who won't accept help. I'm going to be leaving my wife.

While many other point peaked my interest (mainly your overarching understanding of practical psychology), I would like to ask you a question instead, one that admittingly, is self indulgent. At what point would you be able to handle a divorce after having a child? Seeing as you've gone through it under different circumstances, when would be the best time? When our son if a few months old? 6 months? A year? 2 years? More? I'm going to be a first time father and I don't know anything about when taking care of a child may become easier for her, or myself for that matter. However it goes down, I want to either have full or no custody of the child. She would go back to her country, the logistics would be a nightmare, and there are other personal issues I won't discuss here. Simply put, after giving birth, when would be the best time to separate?

I'm glad to have seen this post and have new hope for myself and my relationships with other like minded RP women out there. Thank you.

[–]9021SomeRandomPerson 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

•There’s SO MANY things in here I need to address.•

I’m not sure if you baited me, but you want reals, they’re incoming.

Mods please allow this, or ban me, I don’t care, he needs a dose of reality and I’ll give it to him:

First and foremost, the first sentence in your paragraph is:

  1. Not appropriate
  2. Not what a man of high stature would even consider saying as a married man
  3. Disrespectful to the mother of your unborn child.

I’d re-evaluate how “irrational” she is while you’re married, she’s pregnant 🤰 and opening flirting (in a public forum) with another married woman who is definitely not interested,

Message to mods: I’d leave his comments, as this is what hypocrisy looks like:

”No trust in me in her eyes”. She’s not incorrect.

”I want to have full or no custody” Say what? What a horrible thing to say and think you’d get that with the court system if you are in the United States. 🤪 You haven’t a clue on laws if you’re in America.

What is a good time to separate? Are you joking me?

Listen man, you need to grow some fuzz on those peaches 🍑 that hang under where you think and step tf up. You made a child, now deal and be accountable as a MAN and as a human because this is NO LONGER ABOUT YOU since YOU CHOSE TO HAVE A BABY.

Read:—->It’s not about your mom, it’s not about your childhood, you’re not •responsible• for what happened to you while you were younger, but you are •accountable• for your actions as an adult.

^^^^^^^^

Reread that one slowly and make it a mantra for your inner thoughts.

You’re going to literally check out on your own flesh and blood because your feelz can’t handle a conversation with a woman you vowed to keep in sickness and health til death do you part?

TRP Says: Do not engage with women’s attempts when they are irrational, you say “I am not having this conversation” and end it there, If the Married Red Pill is still around, those guys would eat you alive for a mid-day snack. Go ahead and cross post this, I don’t care. What I say are truths:

You don’t need to get full or no custody. You chose to: A) Get married and say vows B) Decided your feelz got hurt, the vows you took mean nothing, and want to move on, right before impregnating her. <——-👌🤡 C) If you haven’t deleted your post by now I’m about to Blackpill you:

You are not a “man” doing what you are planning on doing. You’re making a broken home because you do not know how to handle yourself.

Men are natural leaders (if in good standing), and women will follow. Women will never follow you unless you make a lot of money, even then, they will not like your personality because you haven’t made the provisions needed to succeed mentally. Since you haven’t made those steps, I’m about to make you do them in 5 minutes.

Listen, this is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Your thoughts 💭 go into feelings which, in turn, go into actions. Change any of those, make it a habit, and you can change the others, but they go in that order. A psychologist by the name of Aaron Beck made a model, but you don’t need that, you need exactly what I’m giving you; knowledge and plans.

I don’t care what your mother did to you. You want to know what my mother did to me at 6 years old? She made me watch her and her lover have sex making me lick his balls and put his semen in my mouth and later lubricated his penis to rape me at 9. Do you hear me whining? No. Because I was also raped at 2. That’s not a typo. Two years old I was raped; it’s not about childhood, it’s about what you CHOOSE to do as an adult, and if you didn’t read my other posts, children are blessings, and not pawns.

Too hard for you? Shouldn’t be, it happens all the time, and if you have a girl...well, if she’s going to have a broken home and your wife goes back to her country and has to work, she may be molested and raped. <—-This will be your fault

It happens to boys, too,<—- This will be your fault

You answer me this;

Do you want this happening to YOUR child?

YES OR NO? (check one as those are your options)

Do you know the statistics on rape or molestations even in developed countries? May want to look those up. Yemen women and children are starving and their a literal slave trade in Libya, but lets talk about how your wife is “irrational” and you want to know “the best time to separate”. Tf you on? 🧐

Children are blessings and if you do what you’re thinking about doing, you’d probably never want to see me in person. Real talk, big boy. I don’t take too kindly to people who breed and bring children into the world only to checkout when times are bad. Grow up and man up,

Am I like my mother? No. Are you going to choose to be worse than your mother? That is up to you,

You are a bitch-boy if you start to do what you are even contemplating.

But I’m going to help you.

This is your new plan and I’ll line it out:

You start a high protein intake with multivitamins and cook for your wife. She needs prenatal care and protein.

You take her to her appointments or make sure she is safe going to and from with someone trusted if you’re working and not flirting on social media

You lift weights to deal with those feelz you have, and when you get over 20” biceps 💪 know your childhood is not what drives you, it is the dedication to self-preservation that is needed in your life and you will pass on GOOD, not BAD prototypes as the cycle of abuse stops with you. Right here, right now. The cycle of abuse stops 🛑

You get your wife what she needs and you take care of her and the child you made.

You put effort in making sure your wife and child are healthy, even if this means losing sleep. Men hunt, women gather. You should know this. You need to gather, too, since pregnancy may have complications, and dealing with you, I hope she doesn’t have lasting horrifying results.

You do no drugs or drinking. At all. Done.

You get off all your social media accounts and read up on newborn care and start preparing a nursery.

You don’t do the above and have anything more to say to me? Because you’ll get r/_murderedbywords because you just met a pretty hardcore, self- aware, Red Pill Wife online and if you read TRP you’d know that women excel in communication and men in visuospatial.

You may be a lurker trying to catch a unicorn, but I know your game and it’s weak.

So, I await you promptly deleting your comments or step up and follow through with the plan.

Also, if you’re not too much of a pussy, tell your pregnant wife if she needs some help because some asshole knocked her up and wants to leave, I’ll make sure to find her some resources as I’m a trained survivalist, and there’s many pro-life people who will kindly take her under their wing with deep pockets because they don’t like people like you.

I can also introduce you to the pro-life men...😂

Real talk, welcome to the USA 🇺🇸

[–]TheNewBo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So.... That was unexpected. Especially since 90% of what you told me to do is in my repertoire already. Still working on the 20" biceps though, I'll give you that. I gave you a very surface overview of what I'm going through, and then you made a lot of assumptions. Also, if you call this flirting, I can't imagine how stale your relationship with your husband is. I suppose that's why he fucks anything with a hole.

-evaluate how “irrational” she is while you’re married, she’s pregnant 🤰

Her irrationality is hardly more than her before pregnancy. We are still having the same caliber of arguments, simply on different matters.

opening flirting (in a public forum) with another married woman who is definitely not interested

I'm not interested in you either. Trust me. Sweet talking girls online got me into this mess in the first place. I appreciate who you are, and how real you are; it's just refreshing to hear a real woman talk, that's all.

”I want to have full or no custody” Say what? What a horrible thing to say and think you’d get that with the court system if you are in the United States.

I don't live in America, not everyone on the internet lives there.

I want full or no custody for a variety of personal reasons, most of which my wife would most likely agree on. This would keep it easy for her, our son, and myself being one of them.

Read:—->It’s not about your mom, it’s not about your childhood, you’re not •responsible• for what happened to you while you were younger, but you are •accountable• for your actions as an adult.

This is a great way to put why I am wanting a divorce. I embodied this years ago, and my wife still pull out the excuse for being sexually distant from me for all these years because when she was 13, a boy grab her boob once in a pool. If she was say, raped at the age of 2, 6, and 9, I'd feel different about it.

TRP Says: Do not engage with women’s attempts when they are irrational, you say “I am not having this conversation” and end it there,

I did that several times last Wednesday, and for the last 6 years. I'm sick and tired of having all day arguments and having to leave my own home because she decides it's a good idea to choke me, rip up our marriage certificate, fist fight me, and more. She's obviously not happy with how things are going, and could never truely sign the papers herself. I'm done with the horseshit. My life isn't about managing some pussy bitch's emotions every single fucking day. You husband fucked other people, and I could only dream of her going to do the same.

Do you want this happening to YOUR child

Obvious I don't want my child sexually abused. Will it happen? Even if I'm in the picture? Maybe still. But is sending my child to America with his mother the best option? Quite possibly.

right before impregnating her.

Condoms break. What do you want?

I don’t care what your mother did to you

Same here. It sucks, everyone's hard is hard. I've gotten over mine, and it seems like you may have too.

start a high protein intake with multivitamins and cook for your wife. She needs prenatal care and protein.

Check ✅

take her to her appointments or make sure she is safe going to and from with someone trusted if you’re working

Check ✅

do no drugs or drinking. At all. Done.

Check ✅

get off all your social media accounts and read up on newborn care and start preparing a nursery

I browse Reddit for about an 20 minutes or so a day, but because you seem so adamant on talking with me, I made an exception. Our nursery is set up, the only baby things we need is a stroller and a car seat, maybe an extra swaddle or 2 seeing as he'll be born in November.

women excel in communication and men in visuospatial. this is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Your thoughts 💭 go into feelings which, in turn, go into actions. Change any of those, make it a habit, and you can change the others, but they go in that order. A psychologist by the name of Aaron Beck made a model,

Again, I do appreciate your working knowledge of practical psychology. It truly is refreshing to meet a woman who has great social competency.

there’s many pro-life people who will kindly take her under their wing with deep pockets

And I wish them the best of luck. I hope they also have thick skulls like the rest of the beta douche-canoes out there.

All that being said, I think it's really cute that your flexing so hard for me to show that your this great catch of a woman 😜

Just fucking with you. I got to go to sleep. I've only have 6 hours, then I have to get up and work an extra Saturday shift to make up for my wife being off work due to her cervical cerclage. She's been off for about a month now. Nothing's really changed except she has more time to bicker and there's less money in the account. The kitchen is still my responsibility, as is the laundry and cleaning the bathroom. I'm sure I'll be taking care of the kid most of the time too, that is, between shitting, sleeping, eating, and showering. The 20 minutes I set aside for Reddit will be gone. Anyway, I have a 10 hour shift tomorrow, ttyl.

[–]converter-bot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

23 inches is 58.42 cm

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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