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Facts- Seeing a girl for a couple of months. Have sex with her every time we meet. She has grown to be attached. Her last couple of flings didn't work out (cock carousel probably) and according to her last serious relationship was more than a year ago. I am 5 years older than her (if that matters). Recently she introduced me to her friends (she said it was a big deal for her). Then she told me she loves me and it hurts her when I dont take initiative to reciprocate her feelings.

What do I get out of her - I like having sex with her. She is intelligent, great in bed & pleases me sexually whenever she's with me. She doesn't have hangups about sex that the other girls I have been with had. She isn't clingy and doesn't bother me unnecessarily (No unnecessary texts or calls until I do something she doesn't like primarily not receptive of her feelings towards me). She is actually supportive of my goals and forces me to focus on them rather than wasting my time. Mostly my hangups about her are related to her past relationships as she hasn't (yet) given me anything to doubt her loyalty or her behavior towards me. I feel that I also on certain level love her and want to tell her that so it calms her mind and I am able to extract better value from her. I dont think i can marry her or have kids with her (yet) but i can still be in a relationship as long as she adds value to my life.

What is the appropriate move should I tell her I love you so that it brings stability rather than her suffering because I dont reciprocate. She holds herself back emotionally because I dont reciprocate. And I read it somewhere here that you need to aspire to get hold of a "woman's soul" because anyone can have her body. Only then she will become an alpha widow.


[–]boy_named_su250 points251 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

This is the sweetest post in the history of trp

[–]LunarWolf4796 points97 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

it is. Dude seems genuine

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 94 points95 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man. I know trp is important for a stable productive relationship. I like trp and I think I only got her chasing following the principles of trp. I will keep following it to maintain balance. But I also dont like being a dick to women in general. I know they dont care about us and are only after the value we provide but who isn't after value. I wouldn't be with her if she didn't add value.

[–]boy_named_su58 points59 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If she has no/very few red flags and lotsa green flags, and you're down with an LTR with her, then it's probably okay. Do it in the heat of the moment, while banging

On the flip side, I dated a girl that told me she loved me for several months without her leaving...

Either way, good luck!

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

But I didn't want to create emotional turmoil in her life or my life unnecessarily. She is already sleeping with me regularly & practically worships me. Her friends provide positive feedback (its important if you want them to chase you) about me because I know how to play them the right way. I feel there is no reason to drag it forever. I have been elusive for the last 3 months while she kept on stroking my ego. I can't change her. I'll accept her as she is because her behavior hasn't affected my life negatively as of yet. Once it does, she'll be removed from my life.

[–]lord_ah1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They all change after marriage...

[–]holyshocker4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True the men get emasculated and become faggots. The women just reflect their man and awalt.

[–]camoactivated13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree, from what I read, it seems like she has all the great qualities of a good LTR girl. I’d say go for it but don’t become needy and all or whipped. Still maintain your standards and all but don’t put her above yourself so soon. If all goes well and you last years (4-6+) I’d consider wifing her up. Kids shouldn’t be a rush, really evaluate your own intentions, desires, and your own emotional issues/trauma so you don’t put that on the kid. But if all is well then you have the green light. Good job and goodluck!

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. I have started to engage with her a lot since she said the L word. She has started to call me all the time and I do respond. I think I need to pull back for 2 days at least to reset the clock.

[–]camoactivated12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah yes the good ole reliable lol yes pull back every now and then to reset the clock and you have yourself a keeper.

[–]Alphainprogress1236 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I first told my LTR I love her, I did it the way it's described in the Sex God Method. Earlier that morning, she had said she thinks she is falling for me. So while we were having sex, I was dirty talking and also asked what she meant about falling for me. She was trying to explain without actually saying it, but I kept stroking until she finally blurted out I Love You. As I felt she was pretty close to orgasm, I said it back to her and she had a strong orgasm. I was surprised it worked like in the book.

[–]unorthodoxcowboy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty good attitude. A lot of people will never get it.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men really Are the romantics

[–]sayedhimself108 points109 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s good you’ve been reluctant so far. But now it sounds important in doing so for both of you to move forward. Sounds like you’d both benefit a lot from being in a relationship . Men and women are supposed to be complimentary remember.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man. I was just worried if I give her what she wants she'll lose interest. But now that seems counterproductive since if I dont give her what she wants she might hang on for a bit , annoy me with all the relationship questions and then eventually go with someone else because I dont reciprocate. I think I will be better off in a relationship with her because she adds value and as long as she adds value I will stay. I have to think like a woman thinks in such scenarios. Also her friends dig me so maybe that has played a role in her chasing me.

[–]Greaterbird34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's always fun to tease her and make her work a bit for me to say it back. She loves me. "Oh do you now?" She gets embarassed. It's the cutest thing.

[–]sayedhimself54 points55 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Make sure you re read the Rational Male section on LTR. Relationship game is much more difficult. She will constantly test you to see if you’re still the man she thought you were. I hope you met you have to think of it from a woman’s perspective rather than think like a woman

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will still stick to trp. I will still meet her once a week. But I think I have to take her calls now and reply to her texts because I dont want to be a dick. And I think it would be a good experience for me if I want to marry someone in the future. I am already not making the mistakes I made in my last relationship. So I think I learned from experience. Now I will be more better even if this doesn't workout. She's also apprehensive of it not working out. But I have decided to take it one day at a time.

[–]AscensionExperiments55 points56 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

don't say it often & don't say it for free- otherwise you're fine

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok. I dont say it at all until she says it. I only texted her once because she was very apprehensive that I only reciprocate her words because I am trying to be nice. I just threw her a bone to latch on to.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I tell everyone I love them, so it wasn’t much telling my girlfriend I loved her. However I think they knew there was a love they wanted confirmation of that I wasn’t necessarily saying I had for them or not. Still only ever been “in” love once I feel like

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Telling a girl "I love you" is a bonding gesture. You reward her with bonding gestures as a reward for good behaviour on her part, in order to reinforce continued good behaviour.

Refer to my Guides to Managing Bitches and Training Bitches for more information.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

Do you love her? Can you love someone after a couple of months? Surely it’s affection at best mixed up with lust?

[–]FimTown 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can love someone within minutes and it's can be very real and not a bad thing at all.

Love however doesn't change one single thing in how you conduct yourself in an LTR. The same rules apply, literally.

It's just more gratifying with real love.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah I feel so too. I dont get where the arbitrary timelines came from. I have known women for years who were exactly like me, had the same tastes and fucked me like there was no tomorrow. And still I couldn't get myself to even be in a casual relationship with them. It was always a series of staggered one night stands. And I have been with women who didn't share my tastes in movies and music and still got along well in other aspects. What really is love? No one knows. You should hold frame always and do whatever feels right rather than dissecting each and everything before taking the plunge. If it isn't going to work you can always break up.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well the point here is that we like each other and if I dont throw her a bone she'll eventually run maybe in a month or so. She is not a girl without options and neither am I. So we both are cautious. I like seeing her and so does she. Frankly I would have loved to not be in a relationship and keep fucking her but that isn't a possibility because she thinks i am great catch and her friends agree and if i dont reciprocate it will unnecessarily create drama in both of our lives. I guess since I like her then why not get into a relationship. I will see how it goes. In my mind its not an LTR, it's just R until she proves she is worth to be awarded the remaining letters. If she fucks around I'll move on like nothing happened. I have backups. A lot of them.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you love her, it’s cool to tell her but it’s be way too early for me. Maybe 9 months/year. Does she really want you to be exclusive?

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. She asked for it. And I liked her enough to say yes. She pursued me, she said I like you , she introduced me to her friends (especially called them to a bar to meet me) and she said I love you. And she is not the women without any options. She was actually in a casual fling with some guy and she says she didn't like him enough to even introduce him to her friends let alone have a relationship with. She has had her heart broken and I was also fucked over by a hoe in college a few years ago. So both of us are cautious. Women lie, I know that but I am also not Gandhi. So I see it as it is. She likes me because I have value and I like her because she brings value too. If that is love so be it. I haven't encountered any other kind as of yet. It's been 3 months and things have moved fast, she acknowledges that and her friends were furious that she said the L word so soon but she says she couldn't help it and she said what she felt.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep it simple and honest -

"we both have the type of relationship we want right now. The less you hold back, the happier you'll be. This is how a strong, stable relationship works - excessive communication and the like breed codependency and then no one is happy."

"It is totally understandable you're trying to push what you THINK you want, but what's actually happening is you trying to default to the way things worked in your past."

She just needs firmer leadership. Keep doing the rest of what you're doing, just sprinkle in more comfort like the above (but always from the frame of you knowing what's best).

[–]ZeppKfw7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you should. What you should do (Inside the TRP boundaries ofc) is through your actions, give her just a LITTLE taste of security and comfort. She's at the point where she's having real bad anxiety because she can't lock you down and she'll probably break in the near future. Notice the emphasis on "Little".

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Oh..dont worry about that even if I say i love you, I am the kind of guy who would still give her anxiety. If I was married my wife would be anxious. I just live my life that way. Very secretly.

[–]ZeppKfw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Did you do that before TRP or is it because of it?

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did that even before I knew what reddit was. My relationship in college started because I was mysterious and subsequently ended because I was mysterious and she was always anxious that I was fucking someone on the side when I was at home cramming for the exams or just going to the gym. I had a tendency to ignore all calls and texts when I was doing anything even if it was taking a shit. Now I have learned balance and some other tips from trp. Still women are anxious because i dont miss them . Even if i do , i dont act on my impulses and let the feeling faze out eventually. They eventually reach out and if they dont I just forget about them.

[–]askmrcia12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol I swear we are dating the same girl. Been with her for 10 months and the only argument we had was the Antionio Brown situation (she don't like AB since she's a Steelers fan).

She dropped the L word on me last month. Like you, I was hesitant on saying it because I don't want her thinking marriage or kids and shit like that.

I mean I'm on this sub so marriage is the last thing I want. With that said, I said the L word back and that was the only time either of us brought it up.

Everything still good..... For now

[–]impotentludius23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

would have been more interesting to comment on if you guys were dating the same girl.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah man just keep doing what you were doing but now since you guys said the word, watchout for her needs and subtly fulfill them. The girl I am with has conveyed multiple times that she likes waking up to my texts. But that doesn't mean I'll do it every day like a simp. I'll do it twice in a week 3 days apart and maintain balance.

Similarly she was apprehensive and worried that I didn't say' I love you" because I felt It but said it because I was being a nice guy and didn't want to hurt her. I out of the blue texted her in the morning with a list of reasons why I love her. And that laid all her concerns to rest. Now I will never ever say the L word until she says it first or I feel like saying or if it's a special occasion. Balance is the keyword here.

Also just a tip. If she introduces you to her friends be extra nice to them and pretend you like them even if you dont. If they need some help be extra polite and concerned. Women always need feedback from others to know that they made the right choice. All women are technically beta females who need constant reassurance that they made the right choice. I feel that is how you get a girl to latch on to you.

Also keep on your purpose and increase your value. Every game is futile if you become a low value Male in her eyes.

[–]Zydianish4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm gonna be honest. If you really love each other, and really both want to be together for a long time, yes. But if it's a plate HELL AS FUCK NO.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man love is a fickle creature in today's environment. You have to try it out to see if it works. Currently its working for her lot more than it's for me (except that I dont despise her and love the great sex) Shes also not a leech and pays her way during dates and doesn't get me to pay the bill alone all the time. But I am a pessimistic person who wouldn't know what love is if its staring right into my face. But I definitely like her better than the others. She doesn't play games and is very honest even to the point of being brutal and sometimes it makes me uneasy but it's better than being with a liar I suppose.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The abstract goal of TRP is to make you respect yourself... Not turn you into a sperg.

Of course it's not off limits to say things like that. Just be sparing with validation, and make her earn it first.

[–]Rifleshoot2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you love her, then say it. Nothing wrong with loving a woman. The only issue is when you express it in feminine, BP ways. Once you’re confident that it’s going to be a LTR, head over to MRP and start on hardmode.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I know I have to be the same guy she fell in love with if I want to keep reaping benefits. I can't go beta now that I have her wrapped around my finger. I feel I can get more out of her if I get her to lower her guard even more. Shes still suspicious of my motives and my long term reliability.
If I keep her where she is I have the upper hand but I'll possibly lose some benefits of LTR.

[–]Rifleshoot2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

LTR, by necessity, have to be a mix of alpha and beta behavior. Up the alpha to encourage dread, up the beta to bring her back to comfort. If a woman is too comfortable, she stops trying and stops respecting you as a strong man. If she experiences too much dread, the constant anxiety and misery from that leads her to think the payoff (you) isn’t worth the struggle.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that's why I say one thing but do another. I tell her I love her but she is still anxious because I only say it after she says it . I then encourage her to discuss her "feelings" (beta behavior) so I can get insight into her insecurities and manipulate my behavior accordingly. If she feels there is a long term problem in being with me due to certain behavior of mine I modify it without telling her that I am going to do it because she bitched about it. I also try to explain my feelings and slip in doubts so she remains anxious and doesn't get too comfortable. Its mix bag. She knows she is getting what she wants with out complete certainty.

[–]neomorphivolatile2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What's so big about saying 'I love you' back? Just say it casually back. It's just words after all. Tone matters more. Seems to be a satisfying LTR, so use it up while you can and just abandon ship if she starts acting neurotic.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. That's what I think. If it isn't affect me negatively then what's the point of not accepting her love. Seems like a win win scenario. I can also get her to do more for me if she has hopes of future with me. If she stabs me in the back then fuck her, I know how to maintain orbiters even while in ltr. I don't fuck orbiters but still have "friendly coffee hangouts". It creates passive dread in the gf .

[–]SeeTheFence4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You’re about to play on legendary. Good luck. Any fuck ups and you’ll have to start over.

[–]thatguyhanzel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this guy looks like he has all the boxes checked with her. he needs to see some red pill overlord

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We should always be prepared for a start over. All relationships are destined to end.

[–]Dethklokk1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm on the same situation as you are. Ltr with a girl for 9 months. She dropped ILY last weekend. I just smiled and kissed her but didn't say it back. I plan to say it at some point but have been wondering the same thing you have. To me TRP got me this girl and the thing that I have taken from it is that anything can be alpha if you maintain frame. For example, I'm a goofy mfker but it works for me because it comes from a place of confidence. Just don't slack and maintain trp principles.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. The primary way is to keep doing your own thing even in ltr. Go to the gym. Talk to other women non sexually. Focus on your work or studying. Dont call her or text her all day , let her do it. If she doesn't for a day, just go to sleep no need to check in why she didn't call or text. She'll text if she wanted to talk. Keep doing pullback of 2 days every month or every other month. Dont tell her every little detail of your day. (Key)

[–]majani1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There's still a bit of the good girl fallacy in your thinking. There are no good girls and bad girls. There are only incentives, and how you line up against them will determine how things go. Does she have reproductive incentive to take things forward, or is she seeking the validation of taming Tarzan?

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who really knows man. I will twist my mind applying logic all the time. All I know if she stops fulfilling my needs, she'll be out the door. Shes no pure girl. She has herself been upfront about it. I have no way of finding about her past but still she is upfront about mostly everything. I dont tell her shit about my past still she voluntarily tells me about her. She wants to know about my past relationships and want me to know about hers and even if I dont volunteer she is ready to talk about hers but I dont want that on my mind so I refused. She has told me about her boyfriends and all but I haven't told her Jack shit as trp say not to divulge any info about past relationships.
Can you explain more about what you mean?

[–]McDrMuffinMan1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

Make sure that you do love her and are not just attached or have oneitis.

She needs to earn your loyalty love and respect.

It's worth far more that way. Don't give away the store.

Take a read through the rational male book series

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do I make her earn it ? Can you suggest some ways. She already pays for meals on dates half of the time and even when shes comes to my apartment she brings food for the both of us. I never travel to her place she always comes to mine. I already mentioned the sex and motivation part in my post. What else?

[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you earn a raise?

You do a really fucking good job and fulfill the needs of your boss and your company.

How do you earn gf status after being a plate?

You do a Good job of fulfilling the needs of your man and acting and bring a feminine woman.

If you've only started dating her, you have no idea what flaws she has. You're not in love with her, you're in love with the pussy.

Stop putting her on a pedestal, and keep working on yourself and give it some time.

Months perhaps.

Read Rollo's work

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lurk around on MRP for a while. You'll start to see the difference. Yes, AWALT and all of that. But what is demanded of you on an LTR is different from what is demanded of you in plate-spinning. Beta is not entirely a dirty word in an LTR. You need to mix some alpha (attraction, leadership, dominance) with some beta (comfort and affection) in order for a relationship to work. Don't confuse beta for gamma. I.e. you aren't lazy and you don't lose frame. But you will transition from purely shit tests to comfort tests. Start reading The Rational Male if you haven't already. Then move to Way of the Superior Man. It's your life, do what you want. It's possible to have a successful LTR. Just don't lose your RP edge. Good luck, brother.

[–]Lateralanouncer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you might be hamstering. You want to enter into a ltr with her. but her past is concerning you.

At the end of the day it is very unlikely you will find a unicorn nor want one, who want to be a marriage slave.

At trp we focus on the negative of ltrs. There are a few positives with the right woman. You can save money focus on your self and grow.

Just remember when she said she loves you that is how she truly felt at that particular time. Future past. No. Only at that instant. Also she has likely given herself to other men without commitment she needs to earn your commitment and as her pussy has already been given away she has to do other things.

Or just keep spinning her. If she really loves you she will do anything. Maybe threesome.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know she has definitely given herself away without commitment. Men have taken what they could before dumping her. I could have done it too. We had sex like 20 times before she asked for commitment. Hell I could do it right now. I have prospects lined up as we speak. As far as i can judge usually men tell her to fuck off because she tries to be upfront about her past relationships and that they didn't work out. But she seems to not care as she is way too much into honesty and being upfront so that the guy can breakup with her before she becomes emotionally invested. It's more like she doesn't want him to find out about it in the long run. I didn't mind because all women are hoes. Some tell you some hide it. I am mature enough to understand that if she didn't tell me I would have no way to find out until one of her friends betrayed her trust.

What other things does she have to do to gain my commitment? I'll look for those.

[–]naroadi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Say it back if you feel it. If you dont just say you dont get attached that easily. Either way tease her a bit about it. "You what now? Haven't really heard you, be a good girl and repeat it for me" or smth like that

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I set a precedent of being veeeery parsimonious in the use of that phrase. Having it weaponized against you will do that.

[–]ghosts_of_me0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Simple.

Do you want a gf? Say it.

Do you want a plate? Don't say it.

A fun workaround I had with a girl once who I would have happily gf'd but she only wanted to be a plate (trust me they exist) we never said ILY but she was a bit of an emo so instead when we felt like it we would say "I hate you" instead, and it worked really well to get our affection across without it feeling icky and weird.

[–]Schhwing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sit down and do some reflection about how you feel about her, what kind of girl she really is (ltr vetting) and what are your intentions for the relationship moving forward (what you want medium to long term).

If you decide that she is worth you committing more seriously be honest with her about how you want things to go. If she is on the same page then everything is sweet. If that’s a turnoff to her then you were with the wrong girl to commit to in the first place.

As for saying “I love you”, never do it out of pressure from her. It should be given as a true expression of how you feel about her, WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED - as a fearless gift. As soon as you start playing the manipulation game that’s what the relationship will be built on.

[–]VisiblePlan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are really feeling it, go ahead. Don't make it overly sappy or sentimental. Just say it matter o fact. and for the love of god dont fucking marry this chick until youve been dating for five years at LEAST!

[–]mushroom_overlord0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just say it if true.

Ask yourself if she would be worth being with if saying it would drive her away.

It probably won't matter, but if it did make her run away you would be losing nothing of value.

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not bad bro.

It's always good to see some stories where things are going good. Most decent women out there are cool as long as they don't have to be your momma. So if you can stand on your own two feet as a man, they'll stand next to you.

Just be cautious of relationship creep. Some women are good at first, then they start trying to slooowly achieve their objectives as far as changing you or the dynamics of the relationship.

Women spend the whole relationship trying to change you. If she is successful, she will leave you and find a man who is everything you were before she changed you.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The issue I think you're having here is you're concerned about how it might influence how she "views" you.

If you have feelings for her, demonstrate by taking actions. That is, by leading her to a strong relationship. Don't waste much time talking about how you feel.

You're the captain of your relation-ship. Either you want her on board or you don't. You don't owe it to anyone on board to tell them any given thing to "spare their feelings."

You say what you mean and the you tell your crew how you expect them to handle it. If you tell your woman you love her, you better bloody well mean it, not because you care whether she feels the same or not.

Like I said, take action on your feelings, don't talk about them.

[–]wereworm50 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And I read it somewhere here that you need to aspire to get hold of a “woman’s soul” because anyone can have her body. Only then she will become an alpha widow.

Can anyone link this thread Thanks

[–]onionknightofknee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

not everyone wants to spin plates. If you're an LTR guy, so be it.

first give her commitment but no L word for awhile. she has to earn each stage. if red flags start to pop up or she disrepespects you; you need to withdraw your time to see if she learns. shit tests are normal, embrace them and pass hem.

you got nothing to lose unless you stay in bad relationship. remember to leave upon dealbreakers; eg " i want an open relationship".

the trick in this

[–]Atheist_Utopia-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes

[–]Dreams_of_Conquest-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If she says it there is nothing wrong with saying it back, I usually only say it first if she had a bad day or something or is generally sad and it always cheers her up, sort of in a "we love eachother, thats all we need, nothing else matters" way accompanied by a hug and forehead kiss, it has to be more than just saying the words.

But don't overdo it, always make sure you tell her you love her less than she tells you. I know its a stupid game but it can't be the other way around or she will lose attraction.

[–]Xerexes3869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely. I just said it once over text because she was very depressed that I never say anything good about her and always reciprocate after she says it first. From now on she will only hear those words (even I miss yous) if she says them first. I'll enjoy the relationship while it lasts and eventually if it fizzles out I'll find someone else.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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