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Advice badly need: How to navigate leaving the mother of my child (self.askMRP)

submitted by ForeArmsForDays

I'll preface my request for help with my cut the shit monologue.

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  • Write down your stats (height, weight, bf%, lifts).

6 ft, 73kg, 9% bf.

Squat 110kg 1x5 ( bad back)

Deadlift 140kg x 5(bad back)

Bench 115kg x 5

Weighted chins bw + 45kg x5

OHP 60kg x5

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Lifts are embarrassing for someone who lifts seriously but i my back injury inhibits squats and deadlifts. I also do MMA and stay below 75kg for weight class purposes.

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  • Write down all the books you have read in the sidebar and one sentence about what you learned from each one (even if you haven't finished it yet). What was your main takeaway from the other erroneous material referenced in TRP sidebar and here?

Gorilla mindset: Take life seriously as if it was an athletic event, each and every day.

Unchained male (Alpha Male 2.0): It is essential to undo yourself from social programming to become truly happy

NMMNG: Put yourself first, don't expect shit from any woman ( cover contracts)

Rational Male: Women would rather share a successful man than be saddled with a faithful loser ( beta).

Alpha Male Strategies: Treat women like a celebrity and they will treat you like a fan

48 laws of power: Plan all the way to the end

Way of Superior Man: Utilize your masculine energy

Day Bang: Old man laptop game

HTWFIP: Become interested in other people

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  • Get your testosterone levels checked and write them down

Medium: 731 ng, high SHBG. In the process of fixing

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  • Write down your ratio of sexual initiations/rejections

nada rejections in the past few years, women throw IOIS and sometimes approach me ( only in pubs/clubs)

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  • Write down the number of women besides your wife you could call right now to chill this weekend

maybe 2

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  • Shit, write down the name of the last girl you flirted with who isn't your wife

S

  • Write down how many days over the past 15 you have actively gamed your wife

3

  • Write down two things you do that make you a good catch

Box, Make bank

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  • Write down what you would do today if you did not have a wife/kids to go home to

Have sex/go on a date or read Epictetus

  • Write down what Dread Level you are on

5

  • Write down how many more months you have to go until you are an attractive man with options

0

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Hello Gents,

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I would really appreciate your advice on this situation as the stress has been creeping up on me lately due to this.

I am cringing right now describing my situation and know where i went wrong but what's done is done so here it goes.

Met my current LTR 4 years ago ( i was 25) ( she was 27), at the time i had a notch count of possibly 15-20, it should've been much more but i was blue pill as hell and simply didn't capabilities on opportunities despite them literally being there for the taking. Raised by a single mother ( father died when i was 1). Found the pill in 2018. Consider myself not too much of a chump in real life as i do MMA, earn 6 figures and do well in social environments. I clearly used to be a chump though as i LTRed a single mother, moved in together two years later and got her pregnant.

My son is 1 year old and i am on the verge of leaving her but i still want to be in my sons life. For the past 6 months she has done nothing but nag and bitch at me everyday for a host of reasons, saying she doesn't trust me, that i don't pull my weight, saying i'm an asshole, threatening me with restraining orders, treating to go to the police with false accusations etc. It is beyond exhausting at this stage.

We currently rent a house for a good deal ( rent agreement with landlord since 2017) however our lease is due for renewal in November and i am thinking of jumping shit. I currently have 145k(euros) saved up but the housing is so expensive here i am tempted to wait until Brexit and the elections are over and hopefully the prices will have dropped somewhat. The only option i have is to move into an elderly family members place until then as i will not pay the money to house share and renting a place on my own is insane. She has threatened me with a restraining order recently and is absolutely crazy beyond belief, i have cheated on her 7 times since we got together but she doesn't know this and i am ready to dive back into the SMP but i would ideally want a place of my own and also ensure i don't get raped with child maintenance/custody etc. I want to see my son at least twice per week and would love to dive back into the SMP straight away but the property market is insane right now and i need to navigate this correctly as she may get me screwed over in court as i now make 6 figures ( was earning 28k when we met ) and she earns sweet FA !.

Note: Since we met i have increased my income x4, kept active in the gym/MMA, achieved another 4 year degree and countless certificates pertaining to my field. Her child stays with us 3 nights per week and spends the other 4 at her fathers, my LTR also tries to get me to pay for stuff for her child despite the child's father paying alimony.

Please help me on how you would navigate a way out.

Much appreciated gents, sorry for the potato formatting ( on the phone )

Thank you


[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You were raised by a widow, not a single mother.

That aside, seeing a lawyer is your next step.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't do anything until you see a lawyer regarding child support and custody.

You clearly don't want to be with her and have options. This is a refreshing post since the answer isn't STFU, lift, sidebar

[–]Redpillbrigade174 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lawyer up ASAP. Especially since it sounds like you can afford it.

Relax. You have it better than you think.

Grow a pair of balls.

Stop listening to her when she whines like that.

Read up on father/ dads divorce forum (I forget exact website) on some good tips on how to handle extreme conflict from soon to be ex and mother of your kids. That is a must. You’re at war until the court order is issued and you have your custody schedule. From then on, you parent how you want to, on your own time.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont see why this is hard if you are LTR.

Leaving is only hard when married.

Just pay guideline child support and stfu about it.

Its not worth the legal hassles. You will likely loose anyway.

Stop busting your nut in women unless you want a repeat and a bunch of baby mommas.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop busting your nut in women unless you want a repeat and a bunch of baby mommas.

Someone apparently failed sex ed.

Friend of mine with six kids once said “I don’t know how I ended up with six kids. We wanted two”... well... hate to break it to him there’s a way to prevent that shit. They’re not even Catholic. Some people are just dumb.

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We've got to have a rule around here - threatening restraining orders or police action is insta hard next. No exceptions.

Go talk to a lawyer, and start acting in the background until you leave that bitch.

The alternative is that she goes at you blind with a restraining order or an arrest and you'll end up in a cell.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

If it's worth anything, i also have tried AA, AM, STFP when she starts to argue. This does not work most of the time and usually makes things worse, now i simply leave the house and go train or study but when i come back shit hits the fan again. This is the only toxic thing in my life right now

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

When she crosses any of these boundaries, how do you enforce them?

It sounds like all you do is engage, or rewarding bad behaviour

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I usually leave and go to the gym, sauna, yoga studio or library to study career related material.

With previous LTRs in my early twenties this worked a treat as they would literally be apologizing once i returned and i would have them eating out of the palm of my hand, with my current LTR however, it is the polar opposite, shit just gets worse if i leave.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shit hasn't changed.

She got worse.

Now ask yourself why that's an issue? Bonus points if you know where I'm going with this

[–]proplfax-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

can you suggest a good article about enforcing passive boundaries (bad behavior- assuming this is what we're talking about)?

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try the material on the sidebar

[–]proplfax-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

good suggestion, i'm only reading the books so far. good vids btw.

[–]griz3lda0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This book is about living with women with BPD, but there's great boundaries stuff in it too: When Hope Is Not Enough by Bon Dobbs.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If i read between the lines, based on all this talk about property and money, you are in fear of the change in lifestyle.

  • Comfy lifestyle with the witch OR,

  • Unknown lifestyle, full of possibility, sans witch.

Choose one.

[–]Thorondor_Rising0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Fake the development of a gambling habit and put your cash into Bitcoin using an exchange that does not track your true ID.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This doesn’t work and is terrible advice.

[–]wkndatbernardus3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He doesn't need to hide assets if they aren't married. His higher income is what will hurt when family court decides on financial support for the kid.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The courts call BS on shit like that.

There are other ways but it means nothing as OP is not married.

[–]norcalguy5100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lawyer for what? Theres no reason a judge will not grant you 50% custody as long as you're not a drug addict criminal. Only thing is even if its 50/50 you might still be liable to pay child support for the simple fact you make more. Maybe find a way to get 60/40 custody?

[–]LivingRPLife-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What are you running from. A bitchy woman? You know they are all harpy, ball busting, emotional whirlwinds.

TBH I didn’t read that wall of text too closely. You sure the problem isn’t you?

[–]Perfectinmyeyes-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I was wondering this also ... (although I read it).

Im not going to impose my morals on the OP but I want to throw something out there.

IMO this is why marriage can be a good thing; because people will tend to try harder to work it out; although can be a doubled edged sword.

Obviously Im not the OP but the OP complains about his woman wanting him to buy things for her kid; perhaps the OP is too young or he wasnt that serious about this woman to begin with but a woman with a kid - she cares about the kid - probably more then anything else - why wouldnt she want the man she decided to live with or perhaps marry some day help take care of her kid?

For example; lets say I was divorced right now and I met a new woman and she couldnt care less about my kid let alone show him much or lets say doesnt want to buy him things. I personally wouldnt feel great about this woman ...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

IMO this is why marriage can be a good thing; because people will tend to try harder to work it out; although can be a doubled edged sword.

This guy clearly wants to spin plates and fuck other women. Which is all fine and good.

Marriage 2.0 is a shitty deal for men. I used to think marriage was important for stability of raising kids, but that’s not necessary. Men risk everything and a woman nothing in the exchange. Hell - if a woman cheats it will be the guys fault for not loving her enough or some shit. If my marriage blows up, I’d be open to an LTR but never again getting the state involved.

If people are “trying” just to stay married she’s probably fucking Chad already.

[–]LivingRPLife1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree 100% with what you say. He’s in England, laws may be better or worse than US.

My point was that Op says he’s leaving because his LTR is bitchy. I didn’t read him saying he’s leaving because HE wants plates or whatever. So is he living life on his own terms or reacting to a woman who is shit testing and poking soft spots in his frame- that’s what all women do, and his next one will do the same.

[–]Iammrp2-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why vetting and boundaries are important. You may have vetted her but there was no way to know she would turn into such a bitch. That's what boundaries are for and you're doing a good job setting them.

As others have said lawyer up but I would just add that you keep us posted on your progress. Curious to see how this plays out. Will the bitch straighten up when she knows you're serious about divorce? Do you care or will you continue with a divorce? Keep us posted.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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