Failed Comfort Test

The_Litz · 2019-09-01T07:48:28+00:00

Brother it is pretty simple. You are not gaming your wife through the day. You disappear and expect her to be spread eagled on the bed.

She is down to fuck but you are farting around. She is basically asking you to game her.

Gaming her starts in the morning when you wake up, not 30 mins after lights out.

Kids are cockblockers, but stop this idea that sex is reserved for late at night.

As for the chores that are not done, I call BS.

You are not self aware, I am betting you are the kind of guy that tramps mud through the house with your work boots and don't even realise it was you who did it.

Regardless, you are in her frame. When she complained, you DEERed to her like you did here.

Do not retaliate with passive aggressive shots like 'Then you do the prep work', it is tempting but very weak. I bet you wanted to say it.

Bottom line is, a man's work is never done, and women will never be thankful for what you do. It is the very base on which covert contracts are built.

Suck it up.

tom-anonymous · 2019-09-01T11:19:32+00:00

Dude you are in for a world of hurt if you keep this up with her.

I did the exact same thing as you. For years we'd put the kids to bed, I'd go down to watch tv and fall asleep until 2am and she'd go into our room and fall asleep alone. I'd also do the same faggot behavior of telling her she should just tell me what she wants.

Fast forward 10 years and you're going to end up like me, and it's going to happen like this:

Wifey is going to continue to complain and you're going to continue telling her how she should just explain to you what she wants (as if she's a guy).
Wifey is going to start giving you shitty comfort tests that you'll continue to fail.
Wifey is going to become resentful and distant with you even more.
Wifey is going to encounter a beta / chad hybrid that's not as good as you, but good enough to make her feel excited from his attention.
Wifey is going to start thinking more and more about beta-chad until she get's to the point he's all she thinks about.

As 1-5 happens above, you're going to be sitting on the couch watching tv alone wondering why she just doesn't tell you what she wants.

Come to bed with your wife. Even if you don't have sex with her, you're missing out on a lot of intimacy and connection.

miIkisforbabies · 2019-09-01T03:18:07+00:00

But still I would like to reward positive comfort tests not negative ones.

I'm not sure that there's a difference.

If she would be a bit vulnerable and say she missed me then I could reward that type of comfort test.

Well that explains the above. You're coming across as really whiny and needy here like there's some kind of underlying insecurity.

Or are these failed comfort tests?

I'm of the opinion that what you described about not spending time with her after she puts the kids down is a failed comfort test.

With the situation with the home project, it sounds more like a combination of her not trusting you (which, I don't know if she has reason to or not) and you potentially not handling your responsibilities (which, again, I don't know which responsibilities are yours and which aren't based on just this post).

I would like to reward her if she would be vulnerable and express her needs but she isn't going to do that.

You're cutting your nose off to spite your face here. Your post history is essentially empty, so I have no idea what your background is or what work you've put in, so I can't advise based on that context.

My best advice is to get over yourself and start passing the softball comfort tests. You're needlessly shooting yourself in the foot all because mommy won't tell you that she wants you to spend time with her (even though she's literally telling you that she wants you to spend time with her).

0io- · 2019-09-01T03:25:35+00:00

>never available after the kids go down

wife wants sex.

>why can't she text and ask me to hang out

she wants you to initiate.

---

>Dishes in sink, etc

>wife complains

>let her know blah blah blah

Too much talking going on here. Action not words.

red88lobster · 2019-09-01T05:48:07+00:00

Do your dishes .

Wait till kids are in bed .

Throw wife on bed .

Fuck wife.

FoxShitNasty83 · 2019-09-01T13:52:59+00:00

Get some duct tape and put it over your mouth. What’s with all this overt communication? She’s not a guy; stop expecting her to act like one. You’re a dumbass - she is communicating, practically screaming at you in womanese and you’re clueless.

You’ve gone DNGAF Rambo while not OYS.

If you want to give comfort - do it. If you don’t - then you probably don’t like your wife. Do you like your wife?

SBIII · 2019-09-02T09:05:45+00:00

So your wife is sitting upstairs in bed, all alone, every night, bored.

Out of the blue, you ask her to communicate directly with you.

She tells you - pretty directly - that she is tired of sitting upstairs in bed, all alone, every night, bored.

Failing to recognise that women - unlike men - rarely communicate overtly, you get pissed at her for not communicating like a man. You basically tell her this and then walk off in a huff.

Meanwhile, you leave your wife sitting upstairs in bed, all alone, bored and wondering why the fuck you don't just "get it".

What a fucking retard.

Once you understand that women are not like men, they're a lot easier to figure out. Women are quite simple. How you figure them out is very simple too..

READ THE FUCKING SIDEBAR.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-09-01T15:13:10+00:00

The nagging is a lagging indicator of her not being attracted to you.

It gets compounded too when she comes home to see dishes all over the place and the house fucked up. Sets her off even more- it’s the downhill spiral of doom - I’ve been there. She’ll find the smallest thing around the house wrong and shame you for it.

“fully expected it to turn negative as all our encounters usually do.”

Why? Sounds like you are a hard worker... but you aren’t gaming her. She needs some Feelz from you. You aren’t providing the tingles ^ Another reason she’s acting out.

Go to work on yourself - sidebar- learn how to game your wife.

WolfofAllStreetz · 2019-09-02T15:44:31+00:00

Can’t imagine a 70lb overweight woman telling me what to do and getting mad at anything she did.

BobbyPeru · 2019-09-01T07:04:10+00:00

I'm not the type of person to do tricks

Bullshit, she’s got you doing all the tricks. You say you DNGAF, but you are telling her all the shit you are going to do, which is basically saying you DO GAF. She reads it that way, and that’s why it jut gets worse. You may not be even conscious of it, but it’s obvious you are trying to make mommy happy, and that is validation seeking and needy.... very unattractive. You need to quit bullshitting yourself