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CMVFor most women the goal/highlight of a “fun night out” is not sex, at least not as much as that seems to be the goal for men. (self.PurplePillDebate)

submitted by GridReXX

In this post it seemed a lot of men were confused why women don’t recall the exact particulars of sex.

It kind of goes to the recent OP, in that men (especially men of this part of the Internet) seem to be in denial about some pretty plain differences between men and women.


[–]loke2dabrainonthexans ☠25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

When I go out with my homeboys I'm not looking for sex. Just trying to kick it and drink a couple beers and have a good time.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

🙇‍♂️

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea, girls think guys only motivations are sex because they're the objects of our sexual motivations. We do other things believe it or not. When me & my friends kick it, it's just a bunch of guys chilling handling business etc.. It's not like there's a frenzy to add females to our group. Usually the opposite they add drama & Fuck up the vibe.

[–]bonslytossChaste Opinionated Weirdo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's usually at least one of us in every group.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've had at least 5 guy friends, including the chastes ones and fuccbois, tell me that night outs are just meant for finding sex. I've never had anyone tell me otherwise other than girls.

That's why I stopped partying too, seems like every guy thinks its only for horny girls.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill18 points19 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, the goal is never sex. It is dolling up in a special occasion outfit, doing hair/makeup, and getting together with my girl friends for dancing and drinking and having a good time. Then crashing at one of my friends' houses and getting up in the morning for a champagne brunch somewhere.

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man10 points11 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

For many guys, those activities aren’t “fun” and they only do it to be around women on the off chance they can get laid.

I’m not saying no guys think it’s fun, but you never hear of a “guys night” where they go out to dancing and clubbing with no intention of getting laid.

I think that’s the difference OP is pointing out. Many more women seem to think that dancing, etc is intrinsically “fun” while most men only go to these places for the whiff of maybe getting laid, and women don’t understand that.

And guys don’t understand that either. The idea of going out to a bar or club just to drink and dance sounds so foreign to me, I had to read all these comments to even understand that some people enjoy it. I guess I always assumed everyone just tolerated it because that’s what you have to do to meet people.

[–]katymarxPurple Pill Woman7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Social Guys have guys night out all the time.

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I’m a social guy and have never had a night like that where the objective was not to get laid. When we all got girlfriends, we stopped going out entirely. Just stayed home and grilled and hung out. No point in going out

[–]2stoned0jaguar9tre4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly. Going out would just be a tiring waste of money at that point.

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m not saying going out is bad and no guys enjoy it but I don’t think women realize how few guys actually enjoy going out. Which explains a ton, to me at least.

Women think guys only want one thing, because guys only go out for one reason and assume women are there for the same reason.

And that’s also why guys get jealous sometimes when their girlfriends go out with the girls because guys don’t get that women don’t go out only to get laid like we do

We assume when a woman goes out, she’s looking for someone. When apparently, women actually enjoy yelling at each other in a loud bar and dancing Hahahah

[–]decoy88Black Male in London1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lots of girls stop too. I think there’s a large percentage of people that only go out for the attention of the opposite sex

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're boring guys. You're the type my friends avoid.

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol have fun with your dance party man children

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I prefer Peter pan.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think that’s the difference OP is pointing out. Many more women seem to think that dancing, etc is intrinsically “fun” while most men only go to these places for the whiff of maybe getting laid, and women don’t understand that.

Is this a white guy thing?

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

European black guys have to be the most dance friendly males on earth. At least that’s what gasper noë has lead me to believe

Very different for white guys in the states

[–]ThatGamer7071 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Drinking and dancing is what I do a lot on weekends for fun lol... I'm a dude too. Maybe you just suck at dancing?

[–]yeetsaucepeterossRed Pill Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I’m sure some guys enjoy it I just haven’t met anyone who does in person yet

I’m white and 6’5 so I’m not built for dancing lol... I’m definitely bad, but I don’t enjoy the scene either, even if I could dance

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. This is it. Right down to anticipating and enjoying the prospect that you might end up getting too drunk and crashing at your bestie’s house and you both rolling into brunch at 11 AM with dramatic sunglasses no energy but lots of laughter.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Also getting hit on by guys....

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

We often go to gay clubs to specifically avoid that.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. I think that’s the minority though (at least when younger). Many women consider it a bad night if they don’t get hit on enough at the club

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Nah, we’ve been going to one particular club since our early 20s since it has 3 dance floors and the best music.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

That sounds....unusual. Do you live in a large city?

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Large-ish. Sacramento.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Hmmmm different strokes I guess

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If a gay guy or a drag queen compliments you, you know you are rocking it.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Or could just be hitting on me. I get stereotyped a lot

[–]PrideInIndividualityLiberal Red Piller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't you think smart guys don't know that??.... ssshhh

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker37 points38 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

I’ve talked to plenty of women who said that they were horny that night and their goal was to find an attractive man to have sex with that night, although I think that they would have been less bummed out if they didn’t have sex than a horny man would if he didn’t find it. Maybe these women were outliers, but I think that the sex drives of women varies enough that you can’t make blanket generalizations. I know I always get miffed when women make blanket generalizations about men that I don’t fit under.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 30 points31 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Idk I’m not convinced.

Women do get horny. My friends and I have all had “dick appointments” canceled and been pissed about it. Like fuck I spent all this time waxing and shaving. A waste.

But actively planning to have sex with a random person at the bar is not the typical female experience. I’ll generalize for you. Me knowing a couple of women who may have done that once or twice doesn’t make them typical. It’s not even overly typical for them.

[–]Mr_SmoogsThe 2nd most obnoxious poster here18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Pissed that you didn’t get dicked down?

Big yikes sweaty that’s called entitlement.

Seriously though, that’s been my experience as well. Women certainly do get angry that they didn’t get laid when they expected. I just can’t wrap my head around why this is bad. It’s only bad if you take your anger out on that person, but that’s not the argument I’ve seen here 100 times. It’s like people assume any anger about not getting laid is entitlement worthy of scorn.

[–]_hack0slash_alpha4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get mad about video games but it doesn't affect my life. I think most people overreact to disappointment so they don't really know what it's like to get angry about something and then let it go and continue on and not let it completely spiral you.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes. WE BE PISSED.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Linking a private insta should be a banable offense.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😩😩😩

Dammit didn’t realize they went private. I hate when those large accounts do that.

Anyway it was a funny video of some old wretched broad PISSED that inclement weather ruined her dick appointment and a bunch of women commenting, “I relate.”

[–]TheLongerCon9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

There’s no such thing as the “typical women” so what does that matter? Your friends are very bias sample, and that’s assuming they’re being honest with you.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Whew y’all hate stats and observations more than “blue pillers”

There are patterns and trends. There’s share of voice. There’s marginality. I can never have a measured convo about this on this sub.

[–]TheLongerCon6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Personal anecdotes are not stats, and observations can often be more misleading than useful.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay...

[–]chaddad90004 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think the last time I went off with a rando from a bar, she walked up to me and said she'd been lying around in bed all day (presumably masturbating), so she went to the closest place. (And IMO that's a good example of the stupidity of pickup, you're stumbling around looking for someone horny enough to go home with the first guy they see.)

So I can't CMV, when the girl gang gets dressed up for the club they generally aren't looking to catch some dick. When women do that they're usually either lone wolfing or out with their BFF.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yea, agree but if you have game girls like that are ripe for the picking. Her friends can tell if you're hitting the right notes as well & where it's going, it's actually a little awkward sometimes if you end up changing their overall plans because her friends interested & then they try & cock block the situation.

[–]chaddad90002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. But I think the big fallacy of pickup is the girl has to be open to the idea in the first place. And when she's out with the entire sorority, she's probably not because of slut shaming or other plans and etc. (or maybe my game is shite whatevers)

The girls who go out looking for some D are generally lone rangering or out with their bestie who won't judge them. Gridrexx doesn't see it because women don't exactly like admitting they did this.

[–]duffmanhb9 points10 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

you can’t make blanket generalizations

Why do we have to keep correcting people in this sub... "NO SHIT!" Obviously not 'literally everyone!'. It should go without saying, that when people talk about social things, there are always outliers, and everything is being talked about in general terms.

We don't care that you know some skanks who love going out for dick every weekend. Most women are just going out to have fun and be seen. People fall on a bell curve. We are talking about general observations... It's like saying, "Yeah dude, women don't like to get raped" and then you chime in, "ackshully, you shouldn't paint broad brushes like that. There is no single uniform person. I know some women who's kink is rape... And she much prefers when a guy gets aggressive, slaps, and fulfills her rape fantasy.... So uhh... sir... stop generalizing women pleaz..."

[–]EyriskyltNeutral Bisexual11 points12 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

You could simply start using words and phrases like "Most men I hang around" or "Many women I've talked to" rather than "men" or "women". You know, debate language in a debate sub.

And for so long as this is a debate sub, calling someone out on blanket generalisations will remain valid.

[–]duffmanhb2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Or you know, just have some social competence and understand what they are saying. It’s a moot truism to point out that their choice of words aren’t pedantically correct. Everyone knows what someone means when they make a sweeping generalization. It should go without saying that they are using the broad generalization to emphasize the broadness or their position

[–]EyriskyltNeutral Bisexual2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

everyone knows what someone means when they make a sweeping generalisation

While I understand what you're trying to say, on principle, I have to disagree.

[–]duffmanhb1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If that's the case... If someone reading ISN'T able to understand the distinction, it's safe to say that the person probably isn't competent enough to engage in a nuanced discussion. So they should be safely disregarded.

[–]EyriskyltNeutral Bisexual3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The way I see it, not only are blanket generalisations by definition, free of nuance, they also tend to offend people, since in this day and age it's actually reasonable to believe the other person fully believes said blanket generalisation. Poe's Law and all that.

In my opinion, if a nuanced discussion is to be had, it'll be better if fully nuanced language was used.

[–]duffmanhb2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This may just be pointless because we clearly have a fundamental life experience difference.

When I see people make blanket statements yet seem intellectually honest and reasonable in their argument, I immediately just assume that their blanket statement is just a figure of speech, and assume they don't mean LITERALLY EVERYONE. The type of people, in my experience who genuinely believe "Literally everyone" applies to social observations... Are a tiny tiny tiny minority. And of those people, they are usually crazy hardline ideologues anyways... Which again, I just zone out and ignore.

Just because some random crazy comes by and literally means "everyone", doesn't discount the 95% of the rest of normal society who have basic social understandings.

[–]crystal_wb20F PPW4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Especially in the red pill/blue pill area there are a lot of people though who are very much convinced that some traits apply to everyone. I mean don't get me wrong, the majority of people knows of course that most generalizations can't be taken for granted, but there's a reason "AWALT" exists. And "EWALT" is often forgotten about.

I agree though that usually it's clear that the person speaking doesn't mean 100% of the population and that it's ridiculous to call them out on it. And I personally usually just ignore it. But I just wanted to mention that it's not too uncommon here that someone really lives in their own bubble where they think like that.

[–]duffmanhb2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well even AWALT has exceptions. The whole point of reenforcing that idea is that it's a waste of energy and time to keep an eye out for that one extreme outlier. People have limited time to process and navigate the world, and the chances that you found a unicorn are so slim, you may as well just pretend it doesn't exist -- even if it does. That when a man is learning RP, it's best just to frame his mind as AWALT and navigate the world assuming such... Sure, there will be exceptions, but by and large, we shouldn't exhaust any energy keeping an eye out "just in case." If anything, that's just going to hurt the person, because even when he thinks he has a unicorn, it's likely he's just wrong.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

My OP title is quite literally exclusively in relative verbiage and someone still responded with an obtuse “generalization” comment.

[–]EyriskyltNeutral Bisexual3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, I'm disagreeing with duffmanhb in the claim that [Blanket Generalisations are understood to not be Blanket Generalisations] rather than your title or wtknight's post.

Regarding your title, I've no real strong feelings one way or another.

[–]Cho_AssmilkArrogant RP S.O.B.-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You could simply start using words and phrases like "Most men I hang around" or "Many women I've talked to" rather than "men" or "women"

That's a given. Always assume that's what someone means unless they site something.

[–]KittyHotNose1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

With the amount that AWALT gets thrown around on these subs, the idea that you're saying most/many is not a given.

[–]Mayhzon3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree.

"Not all" is one of the most annoying pervasive things to come out of progressive social changes.

There is a majority and it has averages. Yes there will be numerically many outliers, but not many in terms of %. So I agree with you. And "Not me" comments on reddit are a joke, if you're a Redditor you already are an outlier because Reddit is not mainstream. End of story.

I think a lot of our members here are too easily taking offensive to unimportant stuff. Let's focus on the discussion. Yes, men have a higher need / desire for sex. Has been confirmed and been general wisdom for centuries. Women's window of horniness is smaller and it has clearly evolutionary roots to optimize breeding behavior in us hair-loss afflicted two-leg mammals.

[–]duffmanhb2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the issue is split. First, people for some reason take differences as a sort of value judgement. For instance, saying, "Yeah testosterone causes men to have much higher sex drives" makes some people feel like that the higher sex drive on average somehow makes women lesser if they are one of those outliers that have a higher sex drive. They react, "OMG I have a high sex drive! I'm not a man! I'm a woman!" They feel like you're calling them something other than their identity.

I think it roots to people not being comfortable with themselves. Again, reflected in people's desire to point out that they are an outlier somehwere. It's REALLY common with young people to want to feel unique and special, as part of their identity. So when you suggest that a part of them is just on the general bell curve they react with, "No no no... Not me, I'm special!" This is the mentality of people who aren't confident in their identity, rather still discovering and getting comfortable with it. They think making a broad statement is somehow an attack on who they are, rather than someone just pointing out a general trend with no value placement.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ladies might feel horny but from there to the actual fuck, few cross the lines. Women use sex as a negotiation and manipulation tool. They use sex to get what they want from men. If a woman is truly horny, she will grab your wood just like that. If she is really horny, your wood is the only thing that matters in her mind. She wants it and she wants it now.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with this again.

[–]uniqueeleniNo Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe it has to do with the fact that if an average woman has such an objective, chances are, she will find what she is looking for relatively easily; the same does not apply for men.

So, she doesn’t consider it a big accomplishment or something and she is not that excited about it because it was something obvious and expected. That could also explain why women don’t really remember the specifics as the OP said.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This makes sense. There's a big ego boost when a man finds a woman to sleep with, unless he's some uber-Chad who can just find women to sleep with at will, and memories tend to be stronger when there is a strong emotional attachment to them. It does make me wonder why women don't remember specifics of relationship sex with a strong emotional component more, though. Maybe it's because they don't focus on the sexual acts themselves as much compared to men.

[–]jessicaannpin10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

If I’m single and I go out, I’m always looking to meet guys. Always.

Am I looking to get laid that night? Probably not. Am I looking to eventually fuck whoever I meet that night? Definitely.

When I was younger, I almost never slept with men I met the same day. Since shedding cultural restrictions on my “sluttiness,” I do this more often. However, I tend to be extra cautious about making decisions while inebriated. I prefer to decide who to sleep with while sober, so I am more likely to have same-day sex with someone I meet in the middle of the day while sober than someone I meet at a bar while drinking.

[–]DAOcomment21 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Haha, drinking raises your inhibitions.

Question for you. Looking back over your same-day sex experiences, what are some factors that define an experience that you look back on fondly with appreciation and no regrets?

As a dude, I like spontaneous adventures with women, but I don't like when women who enjoyed the act in the moment later feel slutty or regretful of what happened. Because my ideal one night stand is just having a wonderful, hot, sexy memory we'll both cherish and remember fondly as we get old, with mutual respect, no guilt, no shame, and good will all around. That's my intent, and always how I feel, but I understand the girl's psychology may be working differently. So maybe I need to understand what makes a one night stand a great life memory for her through the lens of her psychology without assuming her psychology is just like mine. Because if it was just like mine, it'd always be cool. Any thoughts on on this, either just in your personal anecdotal experience, or perhaps in a wider armchair sociological context?

[–]jessicaannpin1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I mean yesterday I met up with a really hot guy from bumble. We got coffee, walked, talked, and spent a couple hours getting to know each other. Then we had sex and it was awesome.

The previous time I got laid before that was also same day sex. I had simply wanted to get laid and had gotten impatient with previous dates not working out. Long story short, I was very efficient. But the second time he came over, I listened to him talk about how he didn’t really want casual sex. I gave him advice about it, and now he says he has a girlfriend. It’s not like I would have dated him though. Honestly I didn’t really even want him talking. He loves guns and Trump, comes from a very different background, lives in a different city, and said he wanted to kill his ex.

The time I slept with a new partner before that wasn’t the first day I met him, but it was the next day on the same date. It made more sense to wait until the next morning because I was a bit drunk the night before. Plus I really liked him and was evaluating for a relationship. We ended up dating exclusively and only just broke up because I left for Dallas for over a month (long story). There were some other factors. Anyway, shit happens.

The time I slept with a new partner before that was also same day sex. Well really there were two new partners. I went on a date with this guy I’d been seeing a bit (just casually) since last October. We went to a social club for dinner, then a comedy club, then back to a hotel for a foursome.

The time I slept with a new partner before that was second date sex.

And so on. So as you can see, first or second day sex is very common for me.

How good I feel about the encounters depends a lot on how good the sex is and how respected I feel. For example, there is one guy I had first date sex with 3 years ago and he still sends me cute messages every now and then. We only hung out twice before I ended up trapped (in a relationship), and then he moved to London. Yes maybe I ended up with the wrong guy at that time. Sometimes if I have sex too soon, I’ll be more likely to think a guy is just about sex. That’s what I thought of him back then. But this can be counteracted by the guy making a big deal about other qualities. Like I slept with my last boyfriend on the first date, but we also connected on many levels.

I’m sex positive so I don’t really have issues feeling slutty.

However, it is extremely important for me to feel respected, and sometimes I feel like men are not respectful of women they have casual sex with. I can’t stand this and sometimes I start to get really paranoid.

There was one guy I slept with in April. That was same day sex but we’d been in touch since last October. Sometimes I just sort of collect guys for when I need them, if you know what I mean. Anyway, after the fact, when I hit him up, every time he would be like, “I’m busy but let’s get together soon!” I started to feel a bit paranoid. But last I heard from him, he hit me up, and I couldn’t hang bc trapped. So door still open.

The last guy I met out and slept with the same night was a guy I met at a Cloud Nothings show in November. Everything seemed cool that night and the next morning, but then he told me to go to this show that night. He was there with his friends and was kind of sketch like, “Actually I’m just hanging out with my friends.” Times after that, he didn’t answer on my schedule an hit me up on his schedule. Or he’d answer with things that made it sound like he was my bro. Ehhh but he’s cool I guess. Door still open.

There was a guy I really liked who I slept with the same night in early January. That night I really was just looking to get laid. Anyway, we matched on an app and I tried to say I needed to save him for later, but he didn’t take that well. What I meant is I was wanting to save him for a time when I was more ready to date and not just trying to get laid. That lasted a couple months before blowing up. Mainly it blew up bc I started acting like a heinous bitch and blamed him for me renting the wrong apt, said he gave bad advice, didn’t listen, didn’t really care about me or he wouldn’t have listened, didn’t really care about me or he’d fight all my ridiculously bitchy texts, etc.

So I’m trying to say there is nothing wrong with sleeping with someone the same day you meet them. But I think it can cause some insecurity and doubt. Like “does he really like me?” This can lead to extra rounds of shit testing later if things started off casual but are escalating. This didn’t happen with the last boyfriend because he was very focused on only me. He said, “I know exactly what I’m looking for and you are it. You are amazing.” He was just all in. But tbh it was a bit too much when he was saying he loved me and talking about our kids by week 2.

The girl needs to know you respect her as a person, care about her as a person. Even if it’s casual, treat her like a friend basically. Like no ghosting.

There was one guy I had sex with the same day in April. We started talking in December. I knew he was a “fuck boy” but there’s only so many people you can call in the middle of the day on a weekday if you know what I mean. Plus he was badgering me constantly and I just eventually gave in. What bothered me about him was I thought we would hook up again, but he was like, “oh hey I moved to LA.” He never told me he was moving to LA. So I was like, “Okay let me know if you’re ever in town.” And he didn’t respond to that. :/

Meanwhile I have this fwb who was the last guy I fucked before the boyfriend. He’s terrible. That started 6 years ago. I think maybe I’ve finally shaken him for good. He didn’t answer my text recently, so I said, “Answer or I’m not talking to you again.” He didn’t answer. So if he hits me up again, and he will, I will say, “Gosh I really wish we could get together but we can’t because you didn’t answer.” And if he calls, which he will, I will ignore. Bc it’s been 6 years of this bs and that is what makes me feel bad.

At the end of the day, I just want to feel valued, appreciated, and respected. Commitment isn’t a big deal to me. So caring casual relationships work just fine. I only end up in more serious relationships bc I get sucked in sometimes.

[–]DAOcomment20 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

OK so you basically never regret any of these, which is awesome. Maybe it's just the specific person and how many repressive hang ups they have or don't have that determines how they feel afterwards.

[–]jessicaannpin0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well I think I expressed some dissatisfaction with some of those.

Oh actually I had sex with a guy in December who I kind of regret maybe. He was super handsome, charming, successful. We had great chemistry until his dick was small. But I just kept going with it bc I didn’t want to blueball him in his own bed and then sleep over. Normally I bail out or I have home court advantage (which entitles me to do whatever I want) in these cases. I felt kind of crappy about that bc I felt like a flesh light. Didn’t get much out of it. Didn’t hear from him later either.

I also forgot to mention another from this year who may have been a same day or a second day. Can’t remember. But he’s great. Hard to describe why. I guess he’s just really good at sex and he’s laid back. But if I text him about a problem, he’s very attentive and gives advice. I like that. With some guys, I get the vibe that they are stressed or annoyed if I bring them a problem. With others, it’s like they like it and enjoy giving advice. The second group is more how I am and more legit obviously..

[–]DAOcomment20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The cool guy with a small dick case, where you felt like a flesh light because one physical thing was outside your preferences. That basically flipped the dynamic from being a mutual win to a favor, hence feeling like a fleshlight. If he gave you great oral leading up to the sex and made sure you come first, would that have made the encounter feel more like a mutual win e.g. less like you were a fleshlight doing him a favor?

Yeah, I fall in the category that doesn't want to hear a girl vent about what Brenda said to her at lunch lol. But mostly because girls just want to vent and don't actually want their problems fixed so much as heard. Guys enjoy actually helping with advice, when it's actually what's being sought.

[–]jessicaannpin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can’t feel oral bc I have clitoral nerve damage. So that is not possible.

I’m the opposite. Usually I am asking, “should I do this or this? Why?” “Where did you get your couch?” “What neighborhood do you think is the best?” “How do you think I can avoid getting canceled on the Internet?”

Or I’ll say, “I’m really tired Bc it’s so loud in my apt.” The ideal guy for me will not say, “That sucks.” He will say, “Try Indow Windows” or “try these earplugs or noise canceling headphones.” When guys always say “that sucks” in situations like these, I feel like they are useless. Every now and then and it means they just don’t know.

Sometimes I will vent, but only when it’s really serious like, “This surgeon is misinforming patients about the anatomy of the clitoris and saying these risks can’t happen when they can.” In this situation, due to the seriousness and fact that I lost clitoral sensation due to this ignorance 15 years ago (so not much has changed!), I do want them to say, “OMG that’s awful.” Bc sometimes I begin to feel insane with this.

Similarly if I text, “Hey I changed this,” I want them to say “yay.”

If I’m venting, my language will be different bc I will start to talk about my feelings, like, “I’m upset bc the Aesthetic Surgery journal wont let us say this.” But then I’ll wonder how I can sneak in something they will let us say. But in a case like this, unless a guy is a surgeon who has published stuff before, they won’t be able to offer advice.

But still, the best guy for me will be saying, “Maybe you could get this on John Oliver.” Or, “Maybe you could do this and this to change this.” It’s feeling powerful that makes me feel better.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That sounds way complicated.

[–]MusicalMarcelinePurple Pill Woman20 points21 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Why wouldn't a man appreciate the whole night just like women? Just because sex was his highlight it doesn't mean he didn't have fun during the rest of it.

[–]ZodiacBrave98Open Hypergamy Triggers Me7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just because sex was his highlight it doesn't mean he didn't have fun during the rest of it.

Think of it like a hangover. When I was more into 'going out', the night itself was fun but in the morning having nothing to show for it kind of ruined the experience. I'd regret not having done something useful. Having nothing to show for the effort to go out just felt bad.

The good nights make up for the bad. Doesn't change the way 'failure' nights feel. Many of my friends were into PUA stuff, so maybe their 'goal oriented' attitude rubbed off.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I never said he wouldn’t? Implied he left the house with that as his goal. Meaning if it wasn’t had the night would be precipitously less of a win for him.

[–]MusicalMarcelinePurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mean yeah i'm sure that for the guys who were hoping to get laid but didn't, feel like it was less of a win for them. But what is the implication here? I know plenty of other girls who go out looking for cute guys to hookup with, what's wrong with that?

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No judgement here sis.

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know plenty of other girls who go out looking for cute guys to hookup with, what's wrong with that?

it's not wrong it's just appaling. just my opinion

[–]Cho_AssmilkArrogant RP S.O.B.1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Implied he left the house with that as his goal

Most guys just live 24/7 with that as a baseline. The disappointment it considerably lower as they're used to it. If a women left the house with the goal of getting fucked and somehow didn't, she'd be much more pissed.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure. But most don’t leave the house with that goal. That’s my point.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You really don't understand men.

[–]Mystery_Tragic2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She really doesn't.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Explain what I’m missing. You and he have difficulty explaining your perspectives in meaningful ways. Do. Share a thought. You both seem to be men with hyper cynical thoughts on the world and loners IRL. And if anything your personal takes tend to buck trend more than mine. So this circle jerk makes sense. Debate a concept or not. Weird.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

& where do you get the idea that I'm a loner exactly, because of a tagline/handle on a random profile? That's like me assuming a girl is DTF because she discusses sex on social media & shows ass in her IG photos. I presented to you some situations that illuminate your lack of nuance on the topic. It's a strange assumption to believe that opinions I hold in anyway influence my demeanor IRL.

  • My fundamental point is girls don't seem to have a clear understanding of the way men process situations; especially outside of our relations with women. It's easy to see how girls would have to stumble to learn this the hard way by getting railed by a few more guys than they would like because their preconceptions of men are unrealistic.(you think you know but all know is the facade we put up when we want you)

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I assumed you’re a loner because that’s how you come across in our convos in private messages and here. It seemed like something you’re honestly proud of. Your “profile” tag line is just another confirming data point.

What aspect am I processing incorrectly? I’m talking about men’s interactions with women. Not their internal worlds outside of hetero dynamics. That. Is. The. Point. Of. This. Sub. It’s so very difficult to debate with you. Your assumptions are honestly never the ones I’m making so your first premises regarding any interaction with me are always just off... and bizarre.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you say so jack. If you say so. I’m more inclined to say you don’t.

Do tell. Won’t don’t I Understand (:

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (46 children) | Copy Link

The goal of a fun night out for women is lots of attention and admiration from men and women alike. Maybe some light (or heavy) making out and perhaps a little touchy feely, but most women would be fine to not end up with sex.

A good night out ends with a “wow it was really great to meet you, I’ve never met another woman so amazing and special and smart as you, please let’s meet again” text from a handful of super hotties with excellent jobs and personalities in the morning.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (30 children) | Copy Link

This is a pretty good answer, a really good answer except that you left out the most essential, and arguably the MOST fun part, and that is the "getting ready" to go out. Picking your outfit, makeup, doing your hair. It kind of inevitably goes downhill from there. lol

[–]screenmagnet30F non-trad, HL, alt-feminist, PPW24 points25 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Pre-drinking with the girls while doing your makeup and dancing to the black eyed peas in your underwear. I remember girls in university who were already so drunk by 10 pm that I had to do their liquid eyeliner for them!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pre-drinking with the girls while doing your makeup and dancing to the black eyed peas in your underwear. I remember girls in university who were already so drunk by 10 pm that I had to do their liquid eyeliner for them!

From the way women discuss things here like having to do their make up and spending money on outfits, you'd swear this was a heavy burden and not fun at all!

I guess they must have been exaggerating...

[–]screenmagnet30F non-trad, HL, alt-feminist, PPW2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not fun. That's why we have to drink while we do it.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 19 points20 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Men will never relate to nor understand the sheer joy of moments like these.

Women have tons of fun. By. Them. Selves.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

LMAO I’ve had so many spicy fun moments with the bros touring in a van, you have no idea.

empty parking lots at 2 am, hating the world with the best of friends

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Explain.

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ever seen Wayne’s World?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OK, that gets you an upvote.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

my 20s in a nutshell

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My opinion of you just went way up.

[–]datingapppro7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol you don’t know women if you think they have more fun together than men do

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol I’m sure men have fun. Men will never relate to the kind of fun women have when together

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. I secretly think they're attempting to justify the crazy alcohol fueled nights wearing short skirts without any active goals I mind.

[–]Mayhzon4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree. I never understood why such things (randomly dancing, acting out, etc.) are this much fun to women. It probably leaves most of us in bewilderment.

It's gotta be a special type of bonding.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude you don't enjoy looking back at the stupid shit you did with the boys just for the lols?

I'm surprised with all the stealing, fighting, and stupid ideas we did none of my friends or I ever got arrested or suspended.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

acting out

What do you mean by that? Singing? Dancing? Posing?

[–]SizzleFrazz6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pregaming while getting ready together with my girlfriends before going out together is honestly one of the best parts of the night. Like if we are t going to get ready together then ride to the bar/party/game/whatever together then why are we even going out at all?!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Accurate!

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 10 points11 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Ahh yes. My friends and I ritualized this process. We have getting ready music playlists. Depending on where we’re going we’ll have champagne or shots as we primp haha.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Pregame!

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sometimes the getting ready part is the pregame! And sometimes we get ready for the pregame. And then sometimes we have too much fun at the pregame and never make it to the actual party. Ugh. Fun times. (Like last year).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

sometimes we have too much fun at the pregame and never make it to the actual party

Haha yes this has happened more than a few times

[–]duffmanhb8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm so glad to be a guy because of this... I just can't comprehend doing so much pregame work. Before going out I feel like the guy from The Hangover doing all the crazy math at the blackjack table...

Like right away I'm thinking, "Okay, what clothes do I have available? What fits best for this occasion? Great, I'll wear that. Now all I need to do is shower, shave, throw on the clothes, do my hair, and I can be ready in 20 minutes tops." I don't need to dig through things. I know what I own, what I have, and how it looks.

Where women see it more like, "Ooooh let's spend 30 minutes playing in my closet to find something fun! Then let's all get together and have some glasses of wine while we talk about whatever chicks talk about... Then we'll run around for another hour from bathroom to kitchen to livingroom, innefeciently getting things done."

I just find it such a stark difference between the genders when it comes to the pregame preparations. Guys just get their shit together then meetup... women consider it a community project and one peice of the larger activity of "going out".

[–]brokegradstudent_933 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Pregame is usually better than going out honestly! It’s fun to just hangout. When getting dressed with friends they actually tell you if you look good and if you don’t you can switch and borrow clothes. Do you not enjoy spending quality time with your friends?

[–]duffmanhb4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Just noticing how women tend to live that phase way more than men do. I find men will get ready quickly then hang out with beers

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can condense this comment down to, “I don’t like to have fun and hang with my friends the way women do and it really confuses me.”

Lol bro I think men getting together and doing whatever they do is boring and/or not ideal for me most of the times too.

[–]duffmanhb5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I literally never once placed a value placement on either or... It's interesting how you just ASSUMED I was placing a value placement. Yeah, I was just saying I found it interesting that men tend not to care for that as part as part of the activity... That's all. Yeah, i don't enjoy it, most men don't. If some men do enjoy, fine, good for them.

I just find it really really interesting on how you interpreted my observation with no value placement, and instinctively pulling some more meaning out of it than it should. It shows the lense you have on over your eyes.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can find it interesting. Some of your phrasing felt like an inference. Either way. My reply to you stands. Cheers.

[–]redditthrowaway14784 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Top marks, game over, we can all go home now.

Well said! :)

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL! I feel seen. Pretty much described my 20s. I def had “make out queen” moments and essentially flitted about feeling sexy and looking sexy like my friends and I were in a music video montage. That experience of it was the fun part.* lol sex was never part of the equation of making it fun or worth going out.

[–]therealzombieforhire 1 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy Link

Gotta get those orbiters to distract yourself from how empty your life is. You go girl!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

It’s kind of a mutual thing. The girls get to think they’re special, the guys get to think they’ve got a shot and we all forget that that our lives are ultimately meaningless. It’s great !!

[–]therealzombieforhire 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy Link

Just keep repeating it and eventually you'll actually believe it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Repeating what

[–]therealzombieforhire 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

That it's healthy and/or normal to behave like a whore in a bar full of strangers for a quick ego-boost to distract yourself from that fact that your life has no meaning or direction.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol and what did you do with your early 20s that was so much more ~meaningful~ than having fun and building a social life?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

World of Warcraft and picking pimples

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are being rude.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I flicked off a chick that told me one time I was being rude in a class.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OK.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I personally haven’t done anything like this in years. It’s not fun for me anymore. I think it’s something that is a normal part of growing up for people from the ages of 16-25, when they start exploring their sexuality and having more social freedoms.

I think it becomes a problem when it carries on for too long, especially if it gets in the way of your studies or work.

Also I thought the slight sarcasm in my posts were pretty clear.

[–]98herbsandspices-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Biologically she doesnt understand

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Was thinking the same thing & not all guys care about "getting a shot".

One time I was at a club with my friend he was shooting some video for the club, I was relaxing in a booth as a courtesy of working with him. Hottest girl in the club starts dancing alone, dudes start lining up she smacking them to leave her alone alone. Just basically exciting attention. I'm sitting down. She approaches me. Im staring at my phone. "you want to dance"? She asks. I don't reply. She asks where my friend is. Hes off the clocks now flirting with some girls. She replied "see hes having fun you should too".

  • I keep ignoring her.

She gets really mad & then walks to wear her friends are grabs her purse & jacket & leaves after I essentially reject her.

Don't waste my time & get over yourself. Young women are annoying.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Its a lot easier getting laid if you go out to have fun instead of with the intention of getting laid. Learned that working in hostels in Europe.

[–]DAOcomment20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you illustrate with a story?

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ill make it simple, if youre a guy out having a great time unconserned with ladies, those same ladies will be curious whos this fun guy whos not thirsty is a good look. If you are out making advances on all different types of women they are much more likely to think, he is willing to take anything or hes not really that into me he just wants sex, this is not a good look for getting laid.

[–]StarSkull_Cyborg27 points28 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Mainly its because women can just hop on tinder or bumble and pick out who ever they want for a NSA. After talking with different women i dated, and friends... i was really surprised how often it occurred and it made me really uncomfortable . My ex told me " You don't need to pay for sex". After i had told her i had gone so long without it, i got fed up and paid for 4 prostitutes...thats how easily she can find it. she actually compared men to women haha

guys? well...we are stuck with hoping someone comes along that will even pick us out, men are endlessly searching and were just plain neglected physically and sexually from the men i have met and had heart to hearts with.

​

Theres a tremendous disconnect with women understanding this! So i expect to get the hate parade on my ass for telling you how it is.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Is there really a disconnect? I think women understand just fine, it’s just that there is nothing we can really do about it unfortunately.

Women hopping on tinder specifically for NSA are still a rarity, most are trying to find a relationship. I could easily lament to you about how hard it is to find a guy to fall in love with who also loves you back and wants to be committed, which is what most women are struggling with / wanting, but likewise there isn’t much you can do about it. We also feel neglected but in a different way (emotionally); sex is so based in feelings for us and with modern dating, men expect sex after only a few dates. A lot of women are easily hurt trying to conform to a culture that doesn't always have their best interests at heart.

We (men and women) all just need to compromise but again, unfortunately this isn't exactly rewarded or prized behavior with how individualistic we've become. We favor the selfish and kindness is only seen as a weakness to be exploited.

[–]StarSkull_Cyborg5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Loved what you said mostly, and i really hope things change. But i know that when people are alone for two long they will compromise I.E (men & women. I have met my fair share of dirt bags and im really hoping to find the same things like love and affection, connection.

I have NEVER cheated on any of the girls i dated or had relationships with even if i knew i didnt care for them. and the two FWB i had, i was content with. Im really pissed off that awful people with poor excuses for a personality even have these intimate relationships that are usually one sided. Sometimes i wonder if i fall in love to easily? But then i know i can sleep with anyone physically attractive and just not care if they dont want to BE with me.

I know what its like to be on both sides of the fence. I feel like a fucking unicorn when i hear how you expressed your desires since im not seeing that reflection in life. Since i want love and emotional connections...but for those 2 girls i fell in love with? i wasn't the material or guy they could love. Plus i have accepted some shitty behavior because i know what it feels like to just be alone and stuck there. Or to only want sex from someone because there really wasn't any connection that i could find to hold my attention, so i just had to leave. And i have walked away from 6 cheaters out of the 11 or 12 women i have slept with.

And i see it every day, people just collect moments , happy moments. and physical connections. And think nothing of it....The gods really can be cruel.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry that happened to you. I think we often forget what capability we have to hurt others, again out of our own blind selfishness.

people just collect moments , happy moments. and physical connections

You can't build a loaf of bread from breadcrumbs. Moments don't add up to contentment and self-actualization - you don't know what those people are thinking/feeling inside.

Keep being hopeful, that's the most important thing IMO.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s hard to find a Chad with a JD from Yale who’ll love you. There are plenty of men who will love you, but you don’t care because they don’t do CrossFit everyday. Women consider less than 20% of men to be attractive. By contrast, men consider about 50% of women to be attentive. So if you can’t find someone, it’s your fault and your fault only. Develop realistic standards.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand that you're angry with your own luck in life but you're being conceited in thinking that you know anything about my "standards". I am not playing victim, I was expressing for discourse. Love and true connection are hard to find, man.

Women rate less than 20% of photos attractive - it doesn't mean they're attracted to less than 20% of men in real life. If you go and read actual research papers on attraction, and actually look at the people around you, most pair up with their looksmatch.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Is there really a disconnect? I think women understand just fine, it’s just that there is nothing we can really do about it unfortunately.

Yes, yes you can. Women aren't powerless in this scenario. In fact, they have the most power in the SMP. Women are the choosers. Women don't want to be pumped and dumped but they have tons of casual sex despite claiming they want a LTR.

A solution is for women to be more circumspect when dating and have little to no casual sex, or to be more open to dating down. Instead, most women want relationships AND casual sex with the hottest men, leaving the rest with nothing.

Women protested for equality they desired without considering the type of equality men may desire. There's almost zero talk of bridging empathy and sexual gaps while non-existent wage gaps and even orgasm gaps get more focus.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

be more circumspect when dating and have little to no casual sex

They do that eventually, after learning casual doesn't work for them. Some just give up and never try again, it's too much hassle, and life is generally good with your girlfriends to talk to, and a vibrator.

This doesn't fix men's problems though ("men are endlessly searching and were just plain neglected physically and sexually").

I don't think "the rest of men are left with nothing" only because women are chasing after Chad's. Like all problems, it's more complicated than that, there are many different factors impacting each other.

Men are relying too much on dating apps. These completely hide what makes a man attractive (his presence, social skills, humor). Most men have terrible photos.

[–]PixieChief0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What would ‘bridging empathy and sexual gaps’ look like?

[–]StarSkull_Cyborg2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

if anyone wants to prove me wrong, sleep with me lol

[–]TotalBasturd12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Alright bend over.

[–]StarSkull_Cyborg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i wouldn't mind trying a strap on with a girl

[–]janeaustenfan999 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think I would be more excited about/ anticipating meeting the kind of guy I would have a genuine connection to, someone who I'd like to have sex with at a later time. More of an excitement over romantic possibilities.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure. Connecting is part of it.

[–]Raii-v2The Best Pill is Gold1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Genuine connections are really easy to fake

[–]QueenCousland8611 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I have literally never once in my life gone out to a bar to get laid. Dick is abundant and of low value, why would I pick one out in some dark, loud place where everyone's inebriated? If I go out, it's to spend time with the people who came with me.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know right that sounds like too much effort. Plus drunk people. Meh.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dunno how this changes OPs opinion, but I have pulled enough in a dive bar to know its certainly not beneath everyone.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Like a moped.

Everyone makes fun of it, but we've all ridden one when no one was looking and fucking loved every second of it

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I fucking love mopeds.

[–]loke2dabrainonthexans ☠-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel the same both about not looking for sex and the genitals of the opposite sex being abundant and low value. Ofcourse in my case that would be vaginas.

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

MOST women do just want to go out and have a fun time and dance and laugh and feel sexy and have hawt boys flirt with them. and if she ends up hooking up with one of those guys that will be fun too.

but there are definitely some women who absolutely do go out primarily because they want to meet a hot guy and get fucked by him

re: that other thread, the biggest reason that women tend to be hazy about the particular details of their various past hookups is probably alcohol. it's kinda taboo to talk about the fact that everyone gets shitfaced before hooking up but its pretty much the norm

[–]NeedingAdvice867 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just another result of the nature of the game...women game is largely passive while guys are expected to be active. '

I don't know why even though this is said 100000 times to the women of PPD that they seem to be too simpleton to understand it.....guys, even as a hot guy, and particularly the vast majority of guys DO NOT get an endless stream of offers during the day, week, night to talk, date, fuck from women.....so men know that IN ORDER FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN at all they have to place the meeting of a girl somewhere in the top 1 or 2 areas of focuses for an evening.

I know from experience since I was somewhat of a dolt when I started going out....I never noticed when girls did sort of make moves...I just assumed that all guys had girls buy drinks for them or give them their numbers, etc...until my friends had to clarify that that shit didn't happened to everyone as I assumed it did. And even then it was rare that my friends would shake their heads at the occurrence....and remember.

Why is that so hard for you to understand? These guys could go out for a month or year or decade JUST TO HAVE FUN...and still never have a girl initiate and come up to them to talk, flirt, drink and most certainly not fuck. For any half way decently attractive girl that isn't going to take more than 10 mins in a crowded bar....you just lack the self-awareness to look outside your bubble. Just because you are blind to what is going on with the men around you doesn't mean it isn't happening...even to that amazing meeting with the hot dude "that just happened while you were out having fun"....that wasn't the way it was for him.

If men acted the same as women......then the species would die out.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure.

[–]MyDogLovesCorn11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

The goal of a "fun night out" for girls is sex with a hot guy. The goal of a "fun night out" for guys is sex.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 20 points21 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women don’t leave the house and scream “lets get laid!!!l” at their bro sis.

The goal is a fun experience.

For men it’s literally sex. You guys invented “time to get laid!” banter.

[–]Marketing_BaboonRed Pill Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some do. But also it's no surprise that most dont. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, getting laid on any particular night wouldn't be tough to do so market forces alone would indicate this isn't a big deal. Dick is in perpetually high supply so the demand is relatively low in comparison. Good dick is a different story entirely, so while women are fine not getting laid you best believe they'll often jump at the chance to with 'the right guy'.

[–]MyDogLovesCorn9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

lol...most of my friends in school were women and I have very vivid and clear memories of them saying things like "Woo hoo! Time to catch some dick!"

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, they say it like "maybe I will get dessert" tonight not "dick is my mission".

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most of my friends are women and they jokingly said things like that too. But I promise you love, it’s not the same impulses driving her to say it and guys to say it.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women don’t leave the house and scream “lets get laid!!!l

Counterpoint: I spent a very uncomfortable car ride home from a party in the back seat listening to a woman I wasn't attracted to (and thank god knew my gf so she didn't hit on me), lament how she is "needs to get laid" after she struck out with her target at this party.

Men are more go out and get laid, women are more have a good time I'll agree, but women want to get laid and men want to have a good time too.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not doubting NAWALT.

More arguing differentials for kicks and giggles

[–]YasuotheChosenOne2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Validation/attention for women = sex for men.

[–]flyinghorse15 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As I man: I don't care that much about sex either. I know sex will happen eventually. I just want to have fun, too.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ayeeeeee!

[–]goneaway2thewind10 points11 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

Your idea of a fun night out, simply for the sake of having fun is different for guys. We don't consider going to clubs with hundreds of drunken strangers to validate our looks as fun because we are not feminine. We are masculine so we enjoy action and activities, like going axe throwing, gun range, DnD groups, game nights, night fishing, tangible activities. It's already known that women are just inherently more interested in people, so an ideal night out for the sake of only having fun is different for us.

You're only exposed to the guys who go to social events to meet women to have sex with because that's what your environment is. Guys night out is a completely different environment.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes a fun night for women can be being flirty and feminine at the club or chilling with her book club. Women enjoy both types of activities — social and “tangible.”

[–]goneaway2thewind1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't say they can't, I know women who come out with my friend group to do that stuff with us sometimes. It's just our ideal "Fun night out" is different.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was countering that our ideal “fun night out” can be both. That’s more of the key diff imo.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes a fun night for women can be being flirty and feminine at the club or chilling with her book club. Women enjoy both types of activities — social and “tangible.”

Yes but the previous poster was highlighting the sexualised environment when women get dolled up and go out.

For example, women complain about the male gaze and being objectified then, as per your OP, spend tons of time and money to get men to look at them. It's contradictory, like trying to look left and right at the same time while only wanting your eyes to fall on beautiful art work.

[–]cooldadnerddad6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Speak for yourself bro. I love meeting people and getting validation

[–]goneaway2thewind2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Do you like wearing make up and shaking your ass for men to watch too?

[–]cooldadnerddad11 points12 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

No, but I do like dressing well and seeing girls check me out and maneuver themselves in my area because they’re interested. I’m married though, so it’s pure ego stroking

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Most guys will never have a woman check them out in their lives, though, so why would they even realize that they desire this?

[–]ThatGamer7070 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Dude then those guys are ugly... Don't know what to say. I get checked out all the time by women... At the club, at the gym, at school and at bachelorette parties that I work

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, in the eyes of women, almost all men are ugly.

bachelorette parties I work

Uhh wat

[–]ThatGamer7070 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, in the eyes of women, almost all men are ugly.

I don't really believe this. I think women have an advantage with sex but that is because some guys are so desperate they will sleep with even fat nasty women... Like a lot of dudes have no standards at all.

​

I serve drinks at bachelorette parties and the women are very flirty there and regularly hit on me or feel me up.

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congratulations on being attractive I guess? I hope you can understand though that your experiences are not normal for men.

[–]cooldadnerddad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t believe this is true. More likely, most guys are oblivious to the usual signs of female interest. Usually woman are discreet about it in public places. It could just be a quick glance out of the corner of her eyes and then she pretends you don’t exist, even if she thinks you’re cute.

Last night I was actually at a bar with a group of guys, and on two separate occasions I caught a milfy type across the bar staring hard at me. It was super weird because women just don’t do that

[–]goneaway2thewind-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate validation but I don't give a fuck about what others think unless I specifically liked that girl. Interaction is enjoyable for everyone, But to go out just so people look at you doesnt sound like a typical guy thing to do.

[–]throwawayemotions342 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But who do you think are giving these woman validation and attention when they go out?

Its men. So clearly men enjoy it enough for women to enjoy it and expect the interaction. So many times I go out and they are refusing some guys in because the male:female ratio is not enough. Aka, too many guys filling up the club first

[–]goneaway2thewind1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never said men arent attracted to and enjoy women. Although many men don't realize that women do consciously and subconsciously put themselves on display to draw in their attention. It's like laying bait to draw the wolves in.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men who enjoy extroverted activities do the masculine corollary of this.

[–]ThatGamer7070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean I like showing off my body at the beach or water parks and getting stares or having women feel me up at bachelorette parties but you enjoy your ax-throwing...

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

LoL, axe throwing is just manly virtue signaling, hardly any men do axe throwing for fun. I know lots of guys who go off for boys weekends to go hunting and actually do something tangible. But axe throwing and game nights are no more accomplishment oriented that laydee people getting validated and it is hilarious that you think it is.

[–]goneaway2thewind3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

We were talking about just a night out, I love hunting trips myself personally. Also, both are an accomplishment in achieving pleasure for the specific individual. A guys night out isn't "better" than a ladies night out and vice versa. As long as they are happy that's all that matters. No reason to be antagonistic

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I am pointing out that some activities supposedly enjoyed by men have no more tangible outcomes than chix doing yoga and pedicures and having cocktails.

[–]goneaway2thewind1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Well that's a tangible activity night out that I've never heard myself before. Maybe there are other but when I think of a girl's night out, I think of what my mom, sister, exes, and their friends would do. Which is doll themselves up and go to a party or club, get drunk, draw men in with the cat and mouse game, etc. And OP was right in the fact that they often have no intention of sleeping with these men they just find each other and attention fun.

But I've stated it plenty of times already, this isn't to say women don't like tangible activities too sometimes they join my friend group in doing typical guy stuff.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What exactly do you mean by "club" because I go out to see live music all the time in various venues because I like live music or the band. I do all kinds of lady fun things with friends that do not involve going to a club now maybe other people don't think it is fun I mean okay. Going to a club getting drunk and talking to some sorry ass rando sounds pretty boring to me.

[–]goneaway2thewind1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think live music places are similar if not just as attention drawing for women too. I go to small venues for live music and the ladies will just move to the front and form a huddle around whoever is playing to get the band's attention and gets all giddy when they interact with them and take them home after. It's hard to express it but it's obvious what they were trying to do in those situations. Also even raves and concerts, women go to these things in skimpy outfits that make them look practically naked while they dance around, that's also pretty attention seeking at least to me. This isn't to say ALL WOMEN are like that some just genuinely enjoy the music and only had the intention of enjoying it. But attraction is a feminine imperative, and it definitely shows at events and activities that women participate in.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I live in a city renowned for have a ton of venues and a ton of musicians with talent considering its comparative size but sure you chatter away about skimpy outfits.

[–]goneaway2thewind1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I love attractive women. I was just expressing a point about ladies proclivities. I'm not suggesting we go back to puritan times. If you don't want a response then don't say anything jesus

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Where did I say anything about puritan times? If you don't want a response that dovetails with basic bitch clubbing don't say anything Jesus.

[–]NaturalQueer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes I've gone out to have a fun, sometimes hopefully for some hot making out(mostly with other women, because men aren't normally okay with just kissing). But not really for sex that night, to meet someone and flirt a little but not really thinking about sex, I don't remember a time I ever cared if I didn't meet anyone either. The main focus has always been fun with my friends and usually dancing. And a lot of the girls I know are like that but I am sure some of them went for that reason but not many.

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[–]catemlBlue Pill Woman10 points11 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

I remember when I was a student.
We were going to a club.

I asked my male friend/housemate, who was in a relationship at the time with my other/friend housemate, if he wanted to come. He was like "I have a girlfriend". I said "Yes.... I'm not asking if you want to fuck, I'm asking if you want to come out to a club?" and he was like "Why would I go to a club if I'm not meeting someone to have se with?".

Honestly, I hadn't even considered the idea of having sex that night (I was never a one-night-stand kind of a girl, I mean I was looking for a boyfriend, but I knew from experience the chances of that happening in a club was low). I was just thinking of wearing a nice outfit and drinking and dancing with my friends. He was just like "...... why?".

It kind of makes me sad that some 20 year olds don't enjoy just being in a room after a few drinks full of music with everyone having fun. Not being a social butterfly, (I can chat but I'm definitely not an extrovert who loves interacting with loads of people) just walking around and getting lost in the atmosphere. To me.... thats what it was about, and I loved it. Got old eventually, but I used to, and I kind of miss loving it.
Absolutely fair enough if you don't get a kick from that, each to their own. But the idea that clubs are only enjoyable as a meat market is just.... depressing, that other people can't experience the rest of it.

I don't think it's necessarily a 'boys don't actually like clubs/bars, they're just looking for sex, but girls do' thing. I know plenty of guys who enjoy going out just for the sake of going out. I think the difference is that a woman who doesn't like going out is just going to say "I don't like going out", rather than "I don't like going out unless there might be sex in it for me".

[–]Aaren_AugustineWants a Cookie4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes it's fun to go out to the movies. It pisses me off that I've got to pay a fuck ton of money to get all the shit I want. Ridiculously priced. But every once and a while its cool.

But why would I do that often if I've got all the shit I want at home. I can pause it, take a piss, make a drink or 10. AND it costs less.

You feel what I'm saying? Also, could the girlfriend not go? I could see he's not going to go if she won't.

[–]catemlBlue Pill Woman5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You feel what I'm saying? Also, could the girlfriend not go? I could see he's not going to go if she won't.

Either she was going (but I mean, he could have sex with her without going) or she was away or something, I don't remember it was a long time ago.

I see what you're saying, but thats what I mean. The sound of the music (live, or in a way that you couldn't have at home without seriously pissing off your neighbours), dancing, just the general atmosphere of being in a place that is different, where everyone is having fun, people watching, rather than your front room which you're always in. Yeah you can drink and socialise a bit at home, but its not the same for aforementioned reasons.

I wouldn't want to go out every night either, but like going to the movies, its fun on occasion.

[–]Aaren_AugustineWants a Cookie2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Its been a while but i'd go to the bar. Or a concert over a dance club. Going to the club was about meat markets, dancing, making out, drinking. The bouncer didn't let ugly people in. I saw plenty of women that "had boyfriends" and made out with dudes all the time.

I don't know, it seems naïve to think the club was anything but hooking up. Because it was the only place you get whatever you wanted from women.

[–]catemlBlue Pill Woman2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Going to the club was about dancing, drinking.

Take a couple of words out and there you go.

The bouncer didn't let ugly people in.

That wasn't the sort of club I used to go to. That kind of club (emphasis on looking nice and parading rather than on fun) is lame.

[–]Aaren_AugustineWants a Cookie0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, I get it. I think women get it too, but they don't care. It's kind of like saying hey I love fish in a barrel, so fun. Dudes are going, hell yeah, easy targets.

And I hear it wasn't that sort of club too. But they are all like that.

You can't tell me you didn't see people making out when you went there. I'm sure the they had bouncers stationed at the bathroom entrances.

[–]catemlBlue Pill Woman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not sure what particular club we went to that night - I've been to my fair share over the years.

There are always the odd people making out, yes, but then a lot of people are just dancing or joking around or absorbing the atmosphere or whatever.

I've definitely seen bouncers stationed at bathroom entrances, especially in bigger clubs, but I can't say that I've noticed it to be a standard thing. I mean, the gay clubs I've been to will often have unisex bathrooms anyway (or gender signs just on the actual stalls that everyone ignores).

[–]chaddad90000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know, it seems naïve to think the club was anything but hooking up.

And exploiting that myth is the whole business model of the club. Sexy girls = sex = pay cover and buy drinks boyz, did ya see that girl making-out? You'll get laid certainly...

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerNot a Negative Creep2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It kind of makes me sad that some 20 year olds don't enjoy just being in a room after a few drinks full of music with everyone having fun. Not being a social butterfly, (I can chat but I'm definitely not an extrovert who loves interacting with loads of people) just walking around and getting lost in the atmosphere. To me.... thats what it was about, and I loved it. Got old eventually, but I used to, and I kind of miss loving it.

I can't say I find that particularly enjoyable. It's just complete sensory overload and I want to cocoon and shut down after that. I'll do pubs, breweries, some bars, but clubs are just not the type of place where I actually could have fun.

My favorite place to drink lately was the 2nd floor at this one Scottish pub I found, that is dimly lit, in the back corner with a leather couch and some other seats around a coffee table looking thing. It's pretty quiet and I love it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont think there explicitly has to be the veneer of sex but even guys who go out for the sake of going out arent likely to hit up a bar that is 100% dudes. Meeting new people is cool and can be fun but most Men Ive met can easily have fun at home with their guy friends and not waste money on drinks or a cover.

[–]bonslytossChaste Opinionated Weirdo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

but even guys who go out for the sake of going out arent likely to hit up a bar that is 100% dudes.

Do pool halls, bowling alleys, and sports bars count?

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

TBF I hated clubbing too, always prefered bars. clubs in the US are about being seen generally and rarely do you meet anyone or actually dance. Now in Berlin or Barcelona the club scene is vastly different and changed my opinion of that matter vastly.

​

IE in the US you have your phone out recording shit half the night, in Berlin any decent club will bounce you for that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I live in Berlin and it's very normal to go to clubs alone; they aren't seen as a "social" event at all, most people aren't there to get sex, and it's more about getting good drugs and dancing to techno in your own introverted world. Unless you're a gay man, then it's all about sex :)

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was solo travelling so it worked out great for me, I love your city one of the best places to party in the world.

​

I never once went out thinking yea ill go try and have sex, I just wanted to listen to the music, crush some mdma and have a great time which I did.

Kater Blau is probably my favorite club there, though its tough to decide. Also Berlin is like the San Fransisco of Europe but way cooler.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Definitely, it's the best city in the world for music. Kater Blau is awesome too. Cliche but Berghain on Sundays day-time is my favorite.

I actually really like Publicworks in SF. It's probably the only club in the US I genuinely enjoyed but I haven't been to many there to be fair. I'm not very girly and love to dance, so I love that you can just wear sneakers in Berlin and rave.

It's a tough city to date in though.. haha.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a tough city to date in though.. haha.

How come? I am not suprised just curious.

I went to Berghain at 7AM on a sunday... weekend long bender but it was fun and not dead like I figured it would be lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Many people only plan to live here a short time so it feels like everything has an inherent expiry date to it. Deep friendships are also hard to make here - it’s not just that it’s a big city, I think Berlin is uniquely difficult.

Probably as expected it’s also a city that attracts a lot of Peter Pan / hedonistic types. “Balanced” or well-rounded people are less available.

[–]throwawayemotions342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree.

There are rare instances that women are going out actively looking for sex when they have a night out. And it boils down to the type of girl.

In my time spent going to bars/lounges, a few weeks ago I went out the my gf who invited a coworker out. That coworker invited two friends and from there I knew it was going to be a shit show. The girls were different. Already sharing their sex stories openly while the uber driver drove us, some things that just had happened the night before. Openly saying how her pussy is gold because she has had sex with 3 gay men. Also saying that she is ready to ride a dick tonight.

I was just speechless. I have never, ever once encountered girls like that.

The night ended, as I am outside with my friend while she has a smoke I see one of the girls come out, holding onto a guy and yelling to everyone "IM GONNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT" and they hopped into a cab and left.

​

When me and my gf go out, we have a policy of "we go together, we go home together" even if a guy is hot af - I will not leave with him, he can take my number and call me and we can go out if he really wants to. Leaving my girl to go get laid, sex has never been that serious to me. I am going out to dance and have fun with my girls. Dress up, look hot, drink and enjoy.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cannot CMV because I agree.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When we want to hook up we just call a fuck buddy or past guy. I think it’s a safety thing. Banging randos you just met seems more like a spur of the moment thing versus a planned thing.

[–]Pontifex_Lucious-II1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Triangles also have 3 sides,

The sky is blue,

Then human body is majority water...

Oh I thought we were pointing out obvious things.

[–]Tyler_GatsbyNo mas Sancho1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Since you picked the fight, I'll counter with suggesting you do a test/social experiment/survey/whatever you want to call it, and take note of or check up on where a woman is at in her cycle, when she's, "just wanting to dress up and look pretty, and go out to have fun."

You and the other girls here telling this story will probably find out a good half or more of you and your friends just happen to be ovulating during this time, or about to.

Your brain may think it just wants to dance and have fun, but your ovaries have their own agenda and are pulling one over on your brain.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

🕴

[–]Tyler_GatsbyNo mas Sancho1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mmm hmmm... Chirp chirp cricket cricket lol 🙄😙

[–]brokegradstudent_931 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Even when I was feeling horny when I used to go out more often. Sex wasn’t the goal. Meeting a man might be the goal but SEX was not the goal. Making out might have been the goal but sex was not the goal. Most of the time the goals was just to have fun and see what happens

[–]Tyler_GatsbyNo mas Sancho-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha, "I was admittedly horny, went out to meet dude- but just make out with dude. Or just to have fun with dude." That's what they call, "hamstering" round' these parts.

Also sex is such a given availability for women that it makes sense it's rarely if ever an actual goal. Might as well have a plan to go outside in the daytime, but not have a goal to see the sun. "If it happens it happens." 🤷 Lol

[–]Criticalthinking3461 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am married the goal for me is to actually just have fun 🤷🏼‍♀️

I mean I already get sex when I want it, but I don’t always get to hang out with my peeps

[–]PrideInIndividualityLiberal Red Piller1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Don't listen to what women say. Observe their behavior. Women are not self aware of their own sexuality as men are.

Also, the argument that women are not interested in sex is ironically a conservative argument.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

No one said women aren’t interested in sex.

[–]PrideInIndividualityLiberal Red Piller0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Read the title of this post. You exactly said women aren't interested in sex.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t say that.

Quote my exact title and I’ll break down your lack of comprehension.

[–]PrideInIndividualityLiberal Red Piller-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How ironic that you're talking about lack of comprehension.

Here, I'll do it for you:

"For most women the goal of a "fun night out" is not sex", which translates to women aren't interested in sex.

I'm arguing that goal of a "fun night out" is not only sex regardless of gender, the purpose of the entire life is sex. Sex is the reason why humans exist.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Please quote the rest of my title. I’ll wait.

[–]RedPillMissionary1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And the goal of every restaurant and bar owner is to make money off of men by attracting women to their establishment

[–]screenmagnet30F non-trad, HL, alt-feminist, PPW1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve never been a party girl and I’m lazy about getting dressed up. So in the rare instances that I’ve put in the effort to actually go out and meet men, sex was definitely the goal and I was disappointed when it didn’t happen.

But party girls who regularly go clubbing or bar hopping with their posse? Their goal is not sex, its male attention.

[–]f0e_pawRed Pill Man2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

For me a fun night out, is hooking up with a cute girl. 🤷🏽‍♂️

In general for a guy hooking up is the goal. So I don't really understand the question.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There’s nothing wrong with that. However many men I’ve countered on this site seem confused or simply don’t believe that this isn’t the goal for most women when she goes out.

[–]f0e_pawRed Pill Man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not hard for a woman to get some dick, if that's what she's looking for so I would have to agree that most women when they go out aren't looking for the hook up.

But that to me seems like a moot point.

[–]Emervila1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

seem to be in denial about some pretty plain differences between men and women.

You as well OP.

For men night out is sex but it doesn't mean there's no fun on it also there's video games, movie time and hobbies with friends only to enjoy nights.

For women "ladies night" is more than sex but it's does include the chance of sex with a random really hot guy, sure the don't scream "let's get laid" but they will surely do it if the chance with a hottie appears.

Men have to hunt therefore the mindset is to march towards the objective, women are hunted therefore they decide if the guy is hot enough to have fun with him.

Fun night out: for men target is sex but for women sex is a possibility if the circumstances come together and they will take it if the guy is High SMV. There can be also nights when nobody got laid and it was still fun for both.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Can you quote where I said men had no fun? I’m curious. I said sex was their goal. I didn’t read past that because it’s a false premise/assumption.

[–]Emervila0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

it's more a parallel, sure you didn't say no fun, you said "plain differences between men and women" what I'm pointing out it's the different roll (target and/or chance) also there's no pure fun or pure sex night out, they have a bit of both in a different way for men and women but they both include sex.

Sure, sex is not at goal for women but it's a chance a possibility they will take, that's how I disagree with you.

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never said women don’t do it either. I’m speaking in relative terms.

[–]Emervila0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

as relative as it is, men and women have the same determination towards sex what happens is men are to be proactive to take initiative therefore we have to make a plan, have strategy and perform it but women in some scenarios are more passive or decide to play passive being their roll to filter for getting the best male they can land and if they don't find a man who meet her expectations well, at least it was a fun night :)

[–]GridReXXit be like that[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s not the only difference. You guys actually want it more. Which makes you more proactive. Women are not as proactive for more reasons than “it’s so available.” If that were the only reason us ladies would be fucking as plentifully and indiscriminately as men would do if they could and last I checked gay men have women beat on the amount of sex had. So much so they have apps just for quick easy readily available sex.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

sure the don't scream "let's get laid" but they will surely do it if the chance with a hottie appears.

not really because if a girl is pretty she will have the chance to fuck a hot guy literally every night of the week and yet most women don't.

i'm pretty slutty and go out multiple nights a week and yet only really sleep with a new guy like every month or two

[–]Emervila2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

only really sleep with a new guy like every month or two

it's done, sure it's not 100% conversion rate that's why it's a chance or possibility not a goal, the chance is there for whenever you want to take it and you do take it as YOU see fit, some other will take it more oftenly some others less than that but they will take it.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you said girls will "surely sleep with a hot guy if they have the chance" and im saying i have the chance to do that every night and don't so no girls "surely" won't. yes girls will do it more or less than me which means what you said was wrong

[–]jmitch880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

BluePill is a forum for rejection of RedPill social world view, tenants, philosophies and subsequent groups or movements such as; MGTOW, MRA RPW and hookup hacks(game).

It comes down to motivation. If one simply disagrees with a certain aspect of Redpill yet accepts other generalized ideas I would think they would discuss or debate within the Redpill communities. Motive to get to the bottom of the disagreement or make a point.

A person compelled to post or identify as BluePill would mainly seek agreement or validation of opinions contrary to RP culture. The best way I could put it is BluePillers share a personal knee jerk reaction to RedPill content or followers.

To my knowledge BP has no solid core beliefs, teachings, philosophy or values other than RP is wrong.

[–]271870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My idea of a good night is getting as much drugs into my system as possible

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure the stated initial goal is to have fun. However, goals can change. Should a hot available guy present himself goals can change in a blink of an eye.

[–]MertWhenNeeded0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't this making some huge assumption about the populace at large over your own personal perspective. You can't really apply any figures here so how can you say any of this. Also there's the issue of women in sex being a hidden thing. So even if you had some number there would be the problem of admitting it and overcoming social stigma.

This seems to me as a baseless thought missing any of the complications that is human courting and relation building.

[–]_lexxxi_980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it depends on what you're doing and who you're with. If you're going to a crazy party or club the ultimate goal is to get laid. Whether you're thinking it or not. But if you're just going bowling, the movies, or maybe a small bar, that maybe not the goal.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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