Men are shit at birth control

[deleted] · 2019-08-13T23:07:00+00:00

This is a CMV post. Top level comments should attempt to C OP’s V.

Note: the OP talks about men. Saying “But women do it, too!” does not qualify as trying to C her V.

Edit: I am locking this thread. The personal attacks are out of hand and a bunch of you are about to get tempbanned if this keeps up. No promises that you won't get tempbanned anyway.

AnarchoNAP · 2019-08-13T22:53:47+00:00

But your sample is skewed. Among men who engage in risky behavior- banging women from Tinder- they engage in risky behavior- not using a condom.

pngmafia97 · 2019-08-13T23:36:44+00:00

Generally, I agree that men prefer no condom, but your experience also reflects on you -- your selection of men.

I've had plenty of ONS (disturbingly high n for PPD) and the majority of of the guys pulled out a condom when the clothes came off. Like >80%. Perhaps it was because many of my ONS occurred in a college environment, where free condoms are widely available. The few instances in which a sexual escapade did not involve condoms (convenience store not open at that hour, happened too spontaneously) the guy bought me Plan B the next morning.

Five_Decades · 2019-08-13T23:05:29+00:00

The men you are meeting are a certain subsection of men looking for ONS.

loke2dabrain · 2019-08-13T22:44:55+00:00

Why are you letting a bunch of strangers go inside you raw.

poppy_blu · 2019-08-14T01:01:09+00:00

Maybe 25% proactively put on a condom the first time we sexed.

Because you’re not part of the generation that was sacred straight by AIDS. Like AIDS when someone got the flu and they were dead 3 weeks later.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-08-14T00:20:44+00:00

Are you under the impression there’s a high council of TRP which advices men not to use condoms?

As for the rest of your post. Don’t blame men because god hates you and makes you bear the hardware for reproduction. It wasn’t my design.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-08-14T12:19:51+00:00

I'm a man and I will say she isn't wrong. In my 20s I took risks and presumed every normal woman is on birth control. I'm in my 30s now and in my experience only half or do are on birth control so I have learned to wrap up as I dont want kids. I'm actually really lucky never to have gotten an std.

pangolin001 · 2019-08-14T13:31:36+00:00

There's this woman, she has a bar full of the best spirits (alcohol) from around the world. Any day, anytime she wants, she can drink whatever the fuck she wants.

She meets this guy. She thinks he's alright so she brings him back to her bar. He doesn't even have to say anything, she can tell the man is thirsty. And when he sees the bar she can see him almost salivating. She can't watch this anymore so she says to the man "You can have a shot of whatever you would like."

The man, having already chosen just in case she decided to offer, says, "Tequila!", without hesitation. She says "coming right up!".

He's been so patient and it's about to pay off, so he hangs on for just a few seconds more as she, without hesitation, fetches the tequila and a shot glass. She fills the glass and asks if he'd like lemon. He can hardly wait but just to make himself suffer a moment more he says "yes, thank you" as she retrieves a lemon and begins to slice it up. After what is subjectively becoming an eternity for him, she places the lemon on top of the glass. As graceful as he can he removes the lemon and lifts the glass to his nose and he can smell the agave. "This is a Patrón", he thinks as the smell of alcohol almost causes him goosebumps. He can't take anymore. Within an instant, and before she says "would you like some salt" he downs the tequila and slams the glass to the bar and the woman sternly says "What's wrong with you? Why didn't you savor it?! Why didn't you make it last! You could have sipped it! You could have had a margarita! You didn't do it right!"

If you do not get this analogy, if you do not understand why that animal went animal and lost himself for those sacred few seconds, you are not a man. You're barely even human. But every man reading this knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. And every Red Pill man reading this thinks "Did you see how even after she gave you what you wanted, what you worked so hard for, what you were so patient for, the bitch still says it wasn't good enough, I didn't do it right, and that I'm a gluttonous feral animal - AWALT!"

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go, You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, This opportunity comes once in a lifetime - Marshall Mathers

Tl;DR: If the bitch is gonna open her bar to you and offer you anything you want, take what she offers, no more, no less, after all, she must be prepared for this, she must have thought about this, she must understand what she's offering, right? so therefore she must have done some pre-planning because otherwise she wouldn't be offering it right?

Unfortunately no, because most women can't see past the end of their nose and will accept no accountability for their actions because of it. It was him all along, HE did it wrong. "I just let him in the bar!" she tells her friends.

DearJudge · 2019-08-14T00:30:10+00:00

Two big reasons:

1) A lot of guys are wearing the wrong size condoms, sometimes for years at a time. I'm not huge by any stretch, and I have to wrestle a normal sized condom over the head of my penis before rolling it on, and I did so for more than a decade, because porn gave me the wrong idea about size and statistics. I didn't think I needed to use larger ones, because from my perspective, I'm not that big. It's a major mood killer, and given the pressure on guys to perform, I can understand why putting one on might be a source of anxiety. There's also not much discussion or education on this topic; you can go to r/bigdickproblems and find guys with 7-8 inch dongs who thought they were small. Body dysmorphia among young men due to frequent use of pornography is a real issue, and nobody is talking about it.

2) There's something psychologically satisfying about cumming inside of a woman. I don't know what it is, but if I use a condom or pull out, I can go again pretty quickly (sometimes straight away if I'm pulling out). There's no power on Earth that can keep me going if I've just creampied my girl -- I'm empty. It's just better on every level, but you're right, it's not appropriate for a ONS or even a fuckbuddy. It requires a serious discussion about birth control, and a partner who is willing to go on the pill (many women aren't).

[deleted] · 2019-08-14T03:09:03+00:00

Shit at birth control and STD prevention. I had an ex-bf who saw that I was prescribed to acyclovir (for cold sores, which i'm not even entirely sure I have), looked it up, thought it was for genital herpes, and STILL had sex with me and went down on me before bringing it up because he didn't want to come off as creepy for looking at my prescriptions.

Like wtf, dude??? Why would you risk an STD like that

kjkj03 · 2019-08-14T10:21:55+00:00

The last 4 men I slept with were university educated and 3 of them acted surprised when I insisted on a condom. Don’t care about babies or std’s.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-08-13T23:16:14+00:00

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The men you’re sampling from are in their own subset.

Think about it from an intellectual point of view: if you slept within the population of men who engage in risky sex and then try to say “90% of men don’t use or attempt to use birth control,” that number would be a poor representation of the entire population of men vs the ones you’re sleeping with.

Until you’ve slutted around with about 100,000,000 men, keep crunching those numbers and refrain from making posts that are basically confirmation biased and lack significant variables.

[deleted] · 2019-08-14T01:04:10+00:00

Yes, we are.

It's not an excuse, but we are just wired to fuck without even thinking about consequences. It's how we got here, part of evolution. It feels so good, and stopping to put on a rubber or ask questions about sexual history, birth control etc is a totally different mode then the one we are in when we are ready to fuck. It's an animalistic mode vs a logical detached mode.

The key is finding men that have learned to BALANCE these two modes. YES, men can be stupid. But it's not our of ignorance, it's because we are battling / taken over by our default reproductive mode. Again, no excuse, but this is how it is...

MusicalMarceline · 2019-08-14T01:49:08+00:00

Where is the lie?

SDW137 · 2019-08-14T01:56:15+00:00

Guys who are actively trying to hook up and are successful do not make up the majority of the population. A lot of guys under 30 do use dating apps but some of them aren't trying to hook up and not all of the ones who are trying to hook up are actually successful. The guys that you're talking about are a subset of the male population. Also, what do you consider the minimum sample size that's "statistically significant"? 100? 500? 1,000? I would argue that your sample size isn't statistically significant, but that's just my opinion.

And most guys that I know don't want STDs or a child out of wedlock. And a child out of wedlock would ultimately lead to them paying child support.

Stupyyy · 2019-08-14T02:39:54+00:00

Birth control what? They just want to bust a nut and gtfo.

Whiteliesmatter1 · 2019-08-14T10:24:26+00:00

May I ask what social class you are from and what social class most of the men are from? I think men of higher socio-economic standing are probably more likely to use BC. I can think of once ever I had sex without using some form of BC. And that was because my partner somehow took the condom off without letting me know. As soon as I realized it I pulled out.

catbrainland · 2019-08-13T23:55:37+00:00

Have opposite experience. Whenever I started to fret about it right before when it mattered, the women just assumed "that's men's business to care of" and was an instant mood killer. It always struck me as bizarre, that women fret about it a lot normally (it's their womb, abortion is shit experience, and I completely understand), but they go completely blank "in a heat of the moment". It's like some switch in their head they'd want to get pregnant when aroused, yet completely grossed out by the idea otherwise.

Lordb0lton · 2019-08-13T22:45:21+00:00

We talk a lot about poor menz being stuck paying for a kid they didn't want and it's only fair (stomp, stomp, tantrum) they should be able to opt out of fatherhood financially.

I would bet a neat sum that by and large, the vast majority of men are themselves responsible for what they've gotten into and need to stop acting like innocent victims. If the RedPill and such has exposed the clandestine nature of women, why would you expose yourself to such an easily avoidable risk?

Agency for all, or agency for none.

Ban abortion, or let men opt out.

I-eat-ur-vagina · 2019-08-14T01:39:05+00:00

Reason is, pussy feels so much better raw. There, I said it.

statusincorporated · 2019-08-13T23:20:13+00:00

Um...you can ask them to put the condom on.

women are the gatekeepers of sex, so...

blackedoutfast · 2019-08-14T00:36:13+00:00

goes both ways. the vast vast majority of women i've been with didn't say anything about a condom and would have been fine with me going in raw. a significant number of them actually seemed disappointed when i put one on.

also, pretty much all condoms suck. i don't think women understand how much worse it is when you're wearing one, even if it fits well and all. if all you hoes weren't so disease-ridden i would never wear one.

and at least in the US, there isn't a huge range of sizes easily available at the closest 7-11. magnums and all that aren't really that much bigger than the regular ones.

sadomasochrist · 2019-08-14T00:36:48+00:00

Because it's not our job?

stop acting like innocent victims.

"I know I have the pill, abortion and adoption available to me, but it's still your fault."

H Y P O A G E N C Y

mistresswhat · 2019-08-14T01:05:15+00:00

I don't really have numbers from my extensive experience but I also tend to be pretty proactive about it. Whatever they might try under different circumstances most guys don't actually argue when they see you reaching for the condoms. They will do the "I really hate condoms" thing followed by a long pause during which they are very visibly, very obviously hoping you'll respond with "let's skip them this time!"

Every escort I know is regularly asked for raw sex.

If you're a man and you never want kids, get a vasectomy. I know so many guys in that boat and literally none of them have even looked into it.

Red__Blue · 2019-08-14T01:25:09+00:00

Can't speak for everyone, but at least regionally in the US birth rates are very stable.

First, An elephant we're banned from touching:

You could argue that Women do such a good job at birth control that it makes up for men's deficiencies at it. We could have a very thorough discussion on that and the validity of that idea. Unfortunately there's a mod sticky that literally and explicitly demands nobody oppose that sentiment.

Saying “But women do it, too!” does not qualify as trying to C her V

So nobody is allowed to touch that topic.

Outside of that, For the Western World:

In short, birth rates in the US are very well controlled around <2 children per woman and trailing downward since the mid 70's. Further, the general growth of the US economy outpaces population growth by x3 pop growth (0.7%) GDP growth (2.3%). We have no reason to believe birth control in the US is failing empirically in a broader societal context: The U.S. Birth rate is stable, going down, and trails behind the country's growing capital.

JoltinJoe92 · 2019-08-14T02:42:13+00:00

The general thought is “condoms are for sailors”. I don’t follow that. Always wear one, but a lot of guys will just rather roll the dice because “it’s feels good without a condom” and we’re terribly motivated and impulsive creatures.

FatalCartilage · 2019-08-14T00:36:59+00:00

I always provide a condom, check birth control status, get tested, etc. I also have not had sex outside a serious long term relationship.

You have some serious selection bias.

throwawayemotions34 · 2019-08-13T23:29:54+00:00

100 %

All the men here who say "wELl WhY CaNT WoMEN Ask"

She knows she is on BC and protects herself if she is
She dont give a fuck and will probably go get an abortion if she gets pregnant
She is trying to trap you but you're thinking with your small head and not your big one.

soulmysold · 2019-08-13T23:25:59+00:00

Probably live in a poor area. Low iq people usually breed like rats.

PadThai42 · 2019-08-13T23:32:29+00:00

I dated a woman who looked up "cream pies" on pornhub... honestly, it varies from person to person, but the only way I would ever consider finishing inside a woman is if I knew for certain she would be my wife.

Lordb0lton · 2019-08-13T23:58:20+00:00

How bout Dem apples

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psypost.org/2017/10/young-women-convince-men-want-use-condom-unprotected-sex-instead-50030/amp

A new scientific study in published in The Journal of Sex Research suggests it is common for young women to convince their partners to have unprotected sex.

daniellederek · 2019-08-14T13:08:33+00:00

Women are not great at barrier type birth control either.

I can count on 1 hand the number that have enforced condoms after 3 sessions with me. It's an absolute zero for those who offered or suggested using any barrier for oral giving or receiving.

HumanSockPuppet · 2019-08-14T13:18:34+00:00

You've boned enough dudes to have a significant sample, and most of them didn't seem concerned about birth control.

Consider the possibility that you are low-hanging fruit, and you've been a cum dumpster for a sample of losers LMAO.

Edit: You might want to get yourself screened.

bonusfruit · 2019-08-13T23:32:08+00:00

Compared to who? Women? Ahahahahahahahaha

Spicychickenaholic · 2019-08-14T01:29:16+00:00

It's not so much that men are shit at it, it's that men don't have the same options as women so they assume (as they should) that it's in a woman's self interest to manage birth control.

This might change your view, how many of the men that didn't use a condom did you check had a vasectomy or not beforehand? Any? Being shit at something as akward/delicate as using birth control goes both ways.

Also to help explain why so many men are willing to risk it all, consider that a condom practically ruins sex for some men (for me it does). To give you an example of this: If I have slept with a girl already 2-3 times and I have to use a condom, I would usually rather just prefer a BJ or something. Sex with a condom borders on purposeless to me (unless it's with a new girl) so wtf is the point. Frankly, I envy women that can take a pill every day or get an IUD to manage it.

binkerfluid · 2019-08-14T02:00:11+00:00

lol how many guys did you just let bang you raw?

Did you know they were clean? how did you know?

darksoldierk · 2019-08-14T02:34:39+00:00

You are missing the point. The point is, even if all men always wore a condom, the minute it fails, they get forced to pay child support and (stomp, stomp, tantrum etc.). That's the argument. At the end of the day, women are in the position to dictate whether a man fucks her with a condom on or not. Asking a woman if she is on birth control is ridiculous, it's like asking you if you ate pizza this week, there is no way for me to know.

cooktight · 2019-08-14T03:46:42+00:00

Jesus christ your standards in men.

You could literally re-title this as [CMV] Women sleep with asshole losers. My sexual history is proof.

Juko007 · 2019-08-14T09:13:33+00:00

Sample size has very little to do with the representativeness of your sample. You could've banged 5000 dudes and your experience could still be an extremely bad estimator of mens behavior in general, because you don't select guys to sleep with at random. Your experiences do not describe men in general but the very specific subset of the male population that is physically/mentally attractive to you, lives in your area, with a similar socioeconomic background, grew up roughly in the same generation as you did etc. etc. etc.

Men are not shit at birth control in general, you are just attracted to a specific type of men that is.

officerkondo · 2019-08-14T11:04:57+00:00

I think it is more accurate to say that people are shit at birth control, for which there is no excuse.

The other month I was not surprised to stumble upon this study, which found that "the more attractive a man was judged to be, the less likely women were to intend to use a condom during sex". Color me shocked.

I do agree that a man who fucks some sloot without a rubber is stupid. My son is 14 and already knows not to believe a woman's claims about her birth control. Even if she is on effective birth control, who knows where that sloot has been? I have a vasectomy but when I hook up I always use a condom.

OP, you say that "The rest straight went in raw, or at least tried." Why were you letting men have unprotected sex with you? Were they all really hot as indicated by the linked study? Even if you were on some form of birth control, this would not protect you from STDs and believe me, that shit is everywhere.

PMmeYourHopes-Dreams · 2019-08-14T11:22:09+00:00

You are going to catch some STDs at that rate. Protect yourself better.

largepaycheckaddict · 2019-08-14T03:15:53+00:00

It’s called the pull out method. Condoms are beta AF

PrideInIndividuality · 2019-08-13T23:29:16+00:00

We talk a lot about poor menz being stuck paying for a kid they didn't want

The argument is not about kids men didn't want. The argument is about kids men NO LONGER want.

Even if men knowingly and wantingly impregnated women, they should still have the right to opt out of child support. US is built on the liberal principles of individual liberty, and you should not be forced to pay for stuff that you don't want. Forcing men to pay for child support is ironically a conservative idea based on traditional gender roles. Hmm, third wave feminists therefore are closer to being conservative then they are to being liberal.

Fetuses are not only the property of women, they are also the property of men. If men for whatever reasons do not want the fetus to born EVEN IF they knowingly didn't use condom, women should be required to abort the fetus. If women, however, make a choice to give birth to the baby, then they should be solely responsible for child rearing.

fromhoutxtoyurop · 2019-08-14T03:37:35+00:00

I'd probably just go for anal to begin with. That solves this problem!

Robert_de_Saint_Loup · 2019-08-14T04:02:49+00:00

Hahahaha

thats because they expect you to not be shit at it.

they want the pleasure but not the responsibility

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EsauTheRed · 2019-08-14T06:38:56+00:00

Cumming inside feels better physically and emotionally, the risk and intimacy of unprotected sex and the idea of filling my partner up with warm cum is all part of the appeal

I will time my partner's cycle and try to cum inside whenever risk is low (including during periods, I don't mind and actually like the sight, smell, and taste of blood, and the idea of our blood and cum intermingling, unfortunately my ex wouldn't let me smear it all over myself and eat her during her period ;__;). I pull out when it is unsafe, but even then I like to threaten to cum inside and love when she begs me not to and resists a little bit, at which point I can no longer control myself and have to get my rape nut

If I'm cumming inside you I've accepted that children might come of it, I have no problem with it so long as I'm not being lied to