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Discussion[DISCUSSION] Dating as a guy (self.PurplePillDebate)

submitted by undeadko

Hi!

I do not know whether this post is exactly for this sub. I guess the moderators will delete it if it does not fit.

So I am on the dating scene now, after a 4 year long LDR, and some things stick out to me.

Firstly, it is really hard to ask someone out without being a creep.

Secondly, in the rare occasions that the girl is not creeped out and agrees I find that their personality is as stale as blue cheese. What has happened!? Where have these girls been all this time? Don't they have hobbies? Aren't they excited about things? Why are you looking at me for entertainment!?

So as you can guess it all fails. I lose interest.

I have read here that women look for x, y, z, ... in a man. Well how about you offer something back? For example, a good time when we are out is a good start. Yes, I know! "She probably did not like you at first." But this invites the "Girls/boys do not give chances" talk. Additionally, I feel like it is not all that. When I go out with someone I usually try to listen and play back on their topic. So when I say they have nothing to offer, I mean it. I can fake my interest in your cardboard collection for so long. Do you have any other hobbies? - No. OK, what is something exciting about your collection? - Nothing.

And it all comes out with this monotonous voice. Like she does not even like what she has chosen to do. (Obviously the cardboard collection is an example. Usually this talk goes about their work/education)

So a bonus question from me will be - Where can I find people who have hobbies and are passionate about what they do? Library? I do not care whether they have similar hobbies to me. Only that they are passionate about them. You like to draw!? Great! Let me see the glimmer in your eyes when you talk about it!

Please, discuss.

Edit: "it is really hard to ask someone out without being a creep." I realised this sounds a bit wrong. I mean asking someone who you have never talked to before out. Like being in the mindset of "I want to have a beer and a conversation with someone. Who should I ask? Wait! It is creepy if I just ask that."


[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman38 points39 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Your dates are not open to you and you have no chemistry.

[–]4gotOldU-nameAvoiding Kool-Aid as Much as Possible6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That seems a bit harsh, and based on very limited data. So, if on a date...how can they not be open to him?

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And it all comes out with this monotonous voice. Like she does not even like what she has chosen to do.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Starts earlier.

Firstly, it is really hard to ask someone out without being a creep.

People going on dates is normal behavior! Being rejected, or people having other interests, again -- perfectly normal behavior. It's no value judgment on you as an individual!

If you're subcommunicating that normal human behavior is creepy, it shouldn't be at all surprising that this guy is doing poorly.

It's not just the words -- it's the body language that we're so, so good at picking up on. Because so much of our communication is non-verbal, the "vibe" start from before anything is ever said.

If a person seems like a stage 5 clinger before anything's even happened, of course you want nothing to do with them.

[–]Yonderlander6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, sounds like they're trying to politely nope out as quick as they can.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women become closed off if they’re not that interested. It’s a rule. Just because a woman accepts a date doesn’t mean that she’s THAT interested. She might go on a date for the experience of practicing dating, or (I don’t know how OP is getting the dates) but if maybe they matched online and met in person, maybe she realized his personality/looks is not as attractive as it seems.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or it's just that these women don't live that great lives.

[–]TheReformist94-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No. They just aren't sexually attracted ft the start. If OP was classically nhandsome, they'd just find an excuse to make him fuck them

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave29 points30 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Talking about your work and education can be excruciating if it’s done in that 20 questions way that relatives you haven’t seen in a while do to find out where you are in life.

Instead of an interview date, go to a movie or museum or show first, then have dinner and talk about what you just saw. Make something else the center of attention and don’t put each other on the spot.

[–]TheLongerCon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Instead of an interview date, go to a movie or museum or show first, then have dinner and talk about what you just saw. Make something else the center of attention and don’t put each other on the spot.

This is a terrible idea in my experience, movies + something after is way too long for a first date, and talking about the movie you just saw is a great way to bore a woman to death.

Women love talking about themselves on dates, but not in a boring interview style. Learning how to get her talking about herself in a way that makes her feel feminine and attracted to you takes time, especially if you're rusty on the dating scene.

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Talking about your work and education can be excruciating

Hey, she started it. I am down to talk for whatever comes to her mind.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It really seems like your approach is that your date is there to entertain you. But notice you yourself recoil at the prospect of being there to entertain your date?

Tr1bute is correct. Pick activities that already provide entertainment so that everything doesn't rely on each of you entertaining the other.

Movies, concerts and museums are good ideas. I'd also suggest things like going to see standup or improv. Basically do something you find entertaining and bring a date along.

[–]undeadko[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

More like we are both out to have a good time and see how this goes. I am willing to talk about myself but if she never asks and I don't see a queue there is only so much I can do.

[–]beersleuth10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I personally am a big fan of the activity-then-dinner formula. The activity should be fun and something you both enjoy, and then you get to talk about it during dinner. It breaks the ice and bonds you two immediately.

A badly planned date would be the cliché dinner and then a movie. It would likely pan out like the stale exchange you described above wherein you two are interviewing eachother and making awkward small talk to establish rapport, and then you guys go to the movie and sit silently for a couple hours.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's why we're saying that since the problem is lack of stimulus to keep things flowing, then providing an external source of stimulus solves the problem nicely.

If you can talk about anything you can talk about a movie or exhibit or performer or performance you are seeing or just saw.

Edit: hell, maybe she'll even leave with something interesting to post to instagram or whatever

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well people sometimes talk about the predictable topics like that because they’re nervous. Provide a third subject outside of either of you.

[–]tickledpic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bad idea. You should talk about what you want.

[–]jmitch882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s why I hated traditional dinner dates. Sitting in front of a stranger with a plate of food I don’t care about sounds miserable.

The activity based date is sound advice. Do something competitive or that centers around yours or their hobbies and interest. The best way to get to know someone is doing things not talking.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, she started it.

This is laughably an immature and childish way of blaming other people instead of taking responsibility for yourself and your own personality...

I am down to talk for whatever comes to her mind.

This is the problem. You are waiting for HER and following HER lead. This mentality ultimately destroys the connection and chemistry between men and women. Women don’t want men being puppy dogs chasing after them and doing whatever she wants. Haven’t you ever read TRP and its rules for game?

[–]hiilive7 points8 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

How tf are you asking people out if it’s hard not to be creepy about it?

Also, it’s cool that you’ve made women the common denominator here. It could just as well be that the common denominator is you. That they think the date is akward and want to leave, and are happy when there’s no second date invitation. Or, it could obviously also be that you go for a very specific type of woman, and you could ask yourself why you’ve only been attracted to women who are dull. All my girlfriends get excited when they talk, show interest and passion and are just lively and social people.

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

All my girlfriends get excited when they talk, show interest and passion

What are they passionate about? Pumpkin spice lattes? Kylie's new lip kit?

[–]hiilive2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Super funny!

I don’t even know if Kylie’s lipsticks ship here, and there are only about 20 Starbucks in the entire country, so I’d be suprised if my friends got super passionate about those. With that said, many of them are passionate about makeup and coffee, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything. More telling that you know that Kylie has a new lipstick tbh

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

This is OP's point. What your friends are passionate about is consuming products and then getting excited for the next product.

[–]hiilive1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Okay, I literally just said they were not into your examples, and they obviously have other interests as well. I don’t know any girls that are like the shallow, simple minded women I read about on PPD daily, but I’m sure they exist, just like I’m sure super uninteresting men exist.

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Okay, I literally just said they were not into your examples

Like makeup. Did you know that Kylie is famous for producing makeup? Like coffee. Did you know pumpkin spice lattes are a type of coffee? Shit.

and they obviously have other interests as well

How would this be obvious to me?

I don’t know any girls that are like the shallow, simple minded women I read about on PPD daily

Just those old souls who are passionate about makeup and coffee, yeah?

just like I’m sure super uninteresting men exist.

Yes, they do, but OP isn't interested in dating men so this whattaboutism doesn't get you very far.

[–]hiilive1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It should be obvious to any adult human that has had social interactions in their life that people have several things they are interested in, yes. In my closest network of girlfriends, the topics of politics, art, travel (lots of it!), music, careers, gaming, food, baking, formula 1, shooting, yoga, soccer, cars, cartoons, movies, wine and yes - coffee and makeup, are all covered.

There’s a huge community of people who love makeup as a creative outlet, to express their identity, to work on their artistic skill, to socialize and to experiment with their looks who are indifferent to new releases and products. Myself, and many of my girlfriends share this interest because we love getting ready together, for example. We also love style and interior design and other topics where practicality meets aesthics.

Coffee - people literally drink coffee every single day. We’re the most coffee drinking people in the world. Of course some people are going to be passionate about something they drink every day - like your whiskey lovers, hip craft beer enthusiasts, wine connesieurs and gourmets.

Just because you can only imagine one-dimensional women with these interests doesn’t mean they are.

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

It should be obvious to any adult human that has had social interactions in their life that people have several things they are interested in, yes.

What is obvious to me is that most people are entirely unexceptional and are living lives of mediocrity. I have no reason to believe your friends are any different.

the topics of politics

Ok, I'll bite. How many of your friends could participate in a discussion with me about how US policy destabilized Libya or how getting involved in Syria would have been a proxy war with Russia? How many of them could even explain what a "proxy war" is?

[–]hiilive1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Haha, you’ll bite? What is the bait? ”My friends are interesting”?

I’d imagine plenty of my friends could, especially in the closest group of my friends, where one is a manager at one of the country’s largest aid organizations (with a big campaign for Syrian refugees), one is a news reporter, one is a high school teacher in political sciences and history, one has a Master’s in peace and conflict studies and one has a Syrian refugee living with her - but more often than not, domestic and EU policy is the topic we fall back on. We all went to school, of course we know what a proxy war is. I can’t really see any of them would want to discuss that with you for an extended period of time though, as you seem to be the living equivalent of r/gatekeeping

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I’d imagine plenty of my friends could

I didn't ask you to imagine.

We all went to school, of course we know what a proxy war is

This is a laughable statement.

as you seem to be the living equivalent of r/gatekeeping

And I'll see you and all of your friends at /r/notliketheothergirls

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

All my girlfriends get excited when they talk, show interest and passion and are just lively and social people.

Same. All my girl and boy friends do this.

That they think the date is akward and want to leave, and are happy when there’s no second date invitation.

I get this. But when it happens from the get go? I mean, we have just met. We will be in the same company for awhile. We should make it enjoyable at least. Oh I know! Let's talk about your passions. That would be a great way for you to enjoy this time spend with me and for me to learn a thing or two about you. Oh nevermind... you are bored talking about your passions.

You see, it makes ME think the date is awkward and want to leave. Nice try spinning it on me being at fault though.

[–]hiilive3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m just saying they might feel that way before you do. (I’m also trying to keep an open mind about a man who goes on an internet forum to say ”all women are boring and it’s hard to not be a creep”)

I also think just general banter tonsee if you’re on the same wave length, have compatible humour and similar outlook on life might be easier that trying to have a passionate, deep conversation about something personal on the first date.

[–]thatnomadsucks14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel ya man.

Don't worry if you're creeping them out. It's not intentional so you'll learn with experience.

Women do have personalities. Just not the ones you're dating. Give the boring girls a hard pass. I've had a few excruciating dates too. Don't know how it's possible for people to not form personalities, but it is and it's painful to experience.

I think the key is to be cool alone and build the confidence that goes with it. That way you'll focus on finding women that add value to your life, not suck the life out of you.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker17 points18 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

This sub is full of women who are interesting conversationalists. They’re obviously out there. I’ve always had good luck meeting interesting women online. Not on dating sites but in places like message boards and chat rooms.

[–]undeadko[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

What about IRL? I would like to go out and meet such people. Maybe even date one.

We are waiting on the women of this sub to contribute I guess.

[–]sophii14 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you want to see that spark of excitement, I would recommend going after anime girls or nerdy girls. These are the types my brother hangs out with and they always seem really excited to talk about their games.

Girls like me who are more into makeup, working out, TV shows and other normal things need a little more pulling. Ask them what kind of youtube channels they watch, that’s a great way to start. We usually watch a lot of youtube sub that relates to our specific interests.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The anime and nerdy girls don't look as good as the girls who are into makeup, working out, the kardashians etc.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol

[–]SkrattGoddess2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What do you want me to contribute? .-.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He wants to know your location lol.

[–]angels-fanCrooning over hellscapes3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The hood. XD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pics ofc

[–]Tomatoccino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go to somewhere you can enjoy yourself in a semi structured way - mixed sports team, life drawing group, walking group, toastmasters, amateur theatre, community orchestra. Hint; women latch on to a new boy they can care for and show around quickly. She’ll probably even tell you who’s looking for a nice young man to practice with.

[–]TheLongerCon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Being interesting in an online forum is not the same as being interesting in person. Not even close.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that interesting conversation translates over from an online forum to real life. Why would it not? I didn't say anybody here would be a party animal just because they seem "fun" online.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

women here, conversationalists? I don't think I follow, yes many women monologue and have emotional speeches here in PPD but to have a conversation with? ... how do you define "conversation" in english?

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think any time I debate back and forth with a woman that it’s a conversation. That’s the kind of conversation I want to have with a woman, not one about fashion and celebrity gossip.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

hum. Yeah, conversation in my dictionary is "willing and alternated trade of wanted information between two or more people without too much noise."

if you ask or talks about wanted information A and the answers is an unwanted (and probably unsolicited) information B where B is not contained in A, and which is littered with noise is not considered conversation in my dictionary.

However it is the most commom answer I get from women in PPD. the women with the purple or red pill tags being the majority of exceptions.

Such thing happens so much It is not dificult to have a reasonable guess by the text composition if the sender has "feminine written traits" if you suppose they do not have formal training like a journalist or researcher.

(I consider feminine different from female, as there a women who write in a masculine way and men who write in a feminine way, both usually LGBTQ+).

I even have a nice experiment for you. read the other comments here without reading the flags. see if you can find their sex by the way they write and the definition I given... it is pretty funny and works wonders.

It comes from a researcher called Vieira (2011, Portuguese). He describe the literary differences of amateur writers by gender. but I extrapolated a lot for my definition.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

if you ask or talks about wanted information A and the answers is an unwanted (and probably unsolicited) information B where B is not contained in A, and which is littered with noise is not considered conversation in my dictionary.

Dude, you sound like you’re hard to talk to lol

Are you a robot?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes. I am a T-100.... sorry, drank too much during the barbecue.

[–]Bayard200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sub is full of women who are interesting conversationalists

I challenge that.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll find ppl w hobbies out doing their hobbies yeah

Go learn to ride or dance or take an art class or smthg, tons of women at all of those. Toastmasters, philosophy nights or free lectures put on by universities, whatever

It's super inefficient to approach randoms you have no info about and hope that theyre interesting

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you're low value and unattractive and these women aren't interested in you. these very same women who are monotonous and boring (or creeped out) with you are bubbly and excited and heart eye emoji with other dudes.

you need to realize that a lot of women will agree to go on dates with guys that they have zero real interest/attraction to. sometimes it's because they are hoping that maybe they'll like you better if they get to know you. but usually it's because they want a free meal and/or they are worried that you might be the type to flip out and cause drama if they give you a hard "no" rejection. then they either flake or just grind through the boring date with the boring guy to get a free meal and hope that you won't ask for another one. that's probably the explanation for most of your "boring" girls and shitty dates.

trying to pick up girls in different environments could possibly help you, but you should also try to increase the chances that girls are actually attracted to you and not just trying to get a free meal by increasing your SMV. you need to be the prize, and if they think you are the kind of guy that they need to pursue, they will make a lot more effort to be interesting.

also, don't invest a lot of time/effort/money into your dates with random chicks you just met. don't take a girl to some fancy restaurant on a first date, that's retarded. just meet up somewhere for drinks/coffee or something lowkey like that. if the date sucks, it's easy to eject and not waste a lot of time/money. and if it goes well you can easily extend the date by moving somewhere else

and realize that most girls are going to have different passions and interests than you. and often when people do have interests/hobbies that are very important to them, sometimes it makes them uncomfortable to share a lot about it with other people that they don't know well. and don't fake interest in something that you're not really interested in.

and if you say things like "oh wow great i don't know anything about drawing but please tell me more" that can kind of seem like a contrived bullshitty thing you're saying just because you want to fuck a chick. it's kind of like how a lot of salesmen will do that thing where they act super interested in whatever you say in a really over the top way bc they're trying to suck up to you so you will buy whatever shit they're selling. you may be giving off those kind of vibes

[–]sparksjoy 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

Ime interesting people attract interesting, boring people attract boring. Humans have a natural tendency to think of ourselves/our interests as the most fascinating shit that has ever graced this earth. You can quickly find out whether that is actually the case by seeing what kinds of people are drawn to you.

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I agree to an extend.

However, it is not the nature of the hobbies. For example, some people have cars as their hobby. I couldn't care less about cars to be honest. But when I am out with a girl, if she starts talking about cars I will listen and try to ask questions about it. I will probably joke about how I have no idea how cars work so she can talk more about it. Because I know generally people have a good time when they talk about things they really like.

This is where we hit the brick wall. They seem unenthusiastic towards their "passions". They brush off questions about the very topic they chose.

[–]ontherailstoday2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is where we hit the brick wall. They seem unenthusiastic towards their "passions". They brush off questions about the very topic they chose.

She's maintaining the option to ghost without you knowing so much about her life that you can easily find her again.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why wouldn’t you say something like

“Ugh, cars? Cars are so boring, how can anyone be into that, you must be boring.”

[–]decoy88Black Male in London4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

From reading your comments in this thread I’m gonna say I think you’re a bad conversationalist, looking for women who structure their conversations in a very particular way.

My only advice is to keep trying

[–]CainPrice14 points15 points  (77 children) | Copy Link

Quit being boring. What's interesting to you is boring to women.

If you want friends and deep philosophical conversations about shared interests, hang out with guys. If you're horny and want to make small talk for an hour over drinks and go home for sex, meet girls.

You don't want to date your best friend. If a woman needs to be your best friend and main social outlet, in addition to also being your girlfriend, that spreads her pretty thin. She's going to do none of those things well and resent you for burdening her with all of those needs and expectations.

If you have your own friends and social life and just use your girlfriend as a girlfriend, she'll be a great girlfriend.

[–]GridReXXit be like that16 points17 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Can I just make a point that most regular men don’t enjoy “deep philosophical convo” either.

Most men are not Reddit or forum men. Also most men don’t enjoy a woman being super competent about a thing he thinks he’s good at it on the first few dates. Men are easily “emasculated.” Women learn to play down certain things via trial and error.

[–]CainPrice2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Most men have real conversations with their close friends, shoot the shit with their acquaintances, and small-talk and flirt with women.

They enjoy deep, close friendships, but unlike most socially awkward Reddit users, they're not looking for a one-stop shop where their girlfriend is also their best friend and primary social outlet. They have friends and a social life already, so they use women as women instead of trying to use women as friends and a social life. They're not worried about having lengthy discussions about common interests and hobbies with some girl on a date. They want to have fun and maybe score.

[–]GridReXXit be like that6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most men have real conversations with their close friends, shoot the shit with their acquaintances, and small-talk and flirt with women.

Huh? I said most aren’t into deep philosophical convos. I didn’t say they don’t shoot the breeze with their pals.

I’m not just talking about on a date. My friend group is strongly Co-Ed.

I’m saying that among their pals they aren’t getting into deep philosophical debate Or even have the range for it. Most men aren’t elevated on some higher conscious or even care. They shoot the breeze about professional sports and fishing. Not Epictetus.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well yeah. Whatever your hobbies are, you get into it with your friends. Whether you like manly shit like football and classic cars, or nerdy shit like online roleplaying games and debating politics.

Two manly men will literally talk for hours about baseball stats and which college football team looks good this year when neither one of them went to that college or knows anybody who did, based on this new defensive end from a small town high school that's being recruited. I have no idea how people know this stuff. And for them, an hour-long talk about college football, something they're both very interested and invested in, is a "deep conversation". It doesn't have to be nerdy to be deep.

[–]GridReXXit be like that7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Uh huh. Men and women can talk for hours on hours about things that interest them.

[–]Akashe880 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

Can I just make a point that most regular men don’t enjoy “deep philosophical convo” either.

That's so true.

But almost all people who enjoy "deep philosophical convo" are men.

Also most men don’t enjoy a woman being super competent about a thing he thinks he’s good at it on the first few dates.

I don't know where that myth comes from. If a chick started talking about cognitive science, or algorithms, or whatever in a more competent way than I do, I would be like "BRB, I'm getting an engagement ring.".

I don't know a single guy who would be shamed or stressed by chick who is more competent in something than he is. I'd like to see some data on this.

One thing that comes to mind in the topic is hypergamy. As in, if the chick is a more competent doctor than the doctor guy at her date, she would probably shit on him and look for a match better than she is.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If a chick started talking about cognitive science, or algorithms, or whatever in a more competent way than I do, I would be like "BRB, I'm getting an engagement ring.".

I don't know a single guy who would be shamed or stressed by chick who is more competent in something than he is. I'd like to see some data on this.

Ha ha ha ha. I have a Ph.D. in a very masculine topic (military history) and I cannot tell you how many guys have been initially fascinated by this, largely because they think it means that I will nod understandingly at them while they tell me all about the Patrick O'Brian novels that they have read.

When it became clear to them that no, I have actual expertise in an actual discipline that they actually know nothing about, their interest shut off like a light switch.

[–]sturbine 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

So a good date for you would be a visit to a battleground?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have been to so many. Mr. Abrams and I went to Gettysburg soon after we started dating. I had been there a billion times as a child and wrote a fifty page paper on Pickett’s Charge as an undergrad. Mr. Abrams didn’t act like a dick when I historiansplained the whole battle, complete with hand gestures and re-enactments of the charge up Little Round Top, so he was a keeper.

[–]couldbemage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a prime example of a sampling error. If a search stops when you find a thing, that thing will inherently be underrepresented.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe so, but it's not like a slim 22-year-old blue-eyed blonde has some kind of shortage of men chasing after her. Men like Mr. Abrams may have been underrepresented, but not by much.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

OK well I just found out you are male. That would explain why you don't think you know any men like this period you think this because you do not date men as a woman you only know men as a man

[–]Akashe880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sure, but I know men who talk about dates, relationships, preferences. Then again, I concede that I have not seen statistics in this topic, and my friends, colleagues, environment is from a very high stratum of society.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What kind of statistics do you need to see about this period this is the female experience of showing off your intelligence during dating. It is almost universal

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't know a single guy who would be shamed or stressed by chick who is more competent in something than he is. I'd like to see some data on this.

do you date men as a smart woman? i cant tell if youre male or female

men absolutely want to be the ones telling you about knowing, they despise being shown up.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i cant tell if youre male or female

He says in another comment that he looks like he could be a double for Henry Cavill.

[–]GridReXXit be like that6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’d be surprised. Many Men think it’s great up until they don’t. Which is soon. They feel emasculated pretty soon.

And I don’t think it’s “almost all”. I do think it slants more male for those willing to bluster. Though IME it’s nowhere near mostly male. But the subset of ppl willing to pontificate about nothing is pretty small in general.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe it's in the delivery

If a girl corrects you in a way that it sounds like she thinks you're a dumbass, them yeah you wouldn't like that

But I've worked with some really smart women when I did research and they taught me a ton of stuff I didn't know, and they were all really nice about it

[–]GridReXXit be like that1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But I've worked with some really smart women when I did research and they taught me a ton of stuff I didn't know, and they were all really nice about it

Now imagine your interaction with a woman you’re dating is her doing this 60% of the time. Many men will feel emasculated. Doesn’t matter how “🥰☺️” her delivery. Now I will say they feel bad about feeling that way because she’s done nothing wrong. But they still feel that way.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never been with a girl who knew that much more than me

If I had to guess, I don't think I'd care if it was about topics I didn't care about. But if it was something I wast interested in and a girl knew a ton, maybe I wouldn't like it? I dunno, I hope it wouldn't upset me and that I'd be rational, I just haven't experienced it before to know how is react

[–]undeadko[S] 8 points9 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Quit being boring. What's interesting to you is boring to women.

That's the thing. I go out and ask them about their interests. This is a queue for her to just start talking about whatever is interesting to her. She then starts talking about her hobby. Great! It does not matter what it is. Spoon collecting? Great! Tell me a good story about it and let's have a good time. Oh you can't? Well I am left with nothing but to change the topic. Oh wait! Apparently that makes me boring. But not you! You are great for being soulless towards your hobby.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

What if going on a monologue about her interest is not her idea of a good date? What is she getting out of it? She's a court jester there to entertain you. How does that help her figure out if she feels chemistry with you? How is it fun for her? Their unwillingness to talk may be a reaction to the structure of your conversation, not the topic itself.

Women hate when dates turn into interview-style questions. Don't be that guy.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep, this. I’m a professional classical musician, obviously have strong in-depth interests in music history and pedagogical technique, but I 100% NEVER talk about this stuff with my fiancée. It makes me freeze up and stare at him like WTF why do you want to know this. I don’t want my guy to ask me about my hobbies. He’s not my colleague. I gladly talk shop with my colleagues at work because they can also counter back and understand exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not here to teach my fiancée about something he knows nothing about. It’s a guaranteed way to make my panties dry like Persian desert.

Girls don’t want to talk shop with someone they want to fuck. They want to have stupid and brainless fun and let loose and get some feelz and kisses.

[–]Msmit710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Girls don’t want to talk shop with someone they want to fuck. They want to have stupid and brainless fun and let loose and get some feelz and kisses.

What would you recommend men do/talk about on dates to provide this?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women arent nerdy men, they dont have "hobbies" like that

You're the man you have to lead the date and discussion and be interesting. Not her . You arent interviewing women for a male best friend

[–]CainPrice5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

When you sit across from a woman and ask generic interview questions, you're looking for an employee, not a sex partner.

Most women don't have hobbies. In their spare time, they go out for food or drinks, listen to music, fuck around on the internet, and watch Netflix. The ones with cool hobbies usually got into something a past boyfriend was into. Some have lame girl hobbies you'd find boring and that they don't want to talk about with you.

Girls will let you know what they want you to know about them without you interrogating them. Dates are your time to showcase being fun, light, and flirting. Not some big deal serious time to interview your dates and get to know them.

The next time you're on a date, try to have sex instead of interviewing your future wife. That will change the entire dynamic and be more fun for both of you.

[–]undeadko[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In a sick kind of way your comment makes sense.

The questions now is whether I want to do that.

When you sit across from a woman and ask generic interview questions, you're looking for an employee, not a sex partner.

I guess my problem is that I go out to have fun. I am not looking for neither for an employee nor a sex partner. They might be looking for the latter and we mismatch.

[–]Texastentialismshe's got a tattoo and two pet snakes10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're not looking for a sex partner why are you going on dates?

This is the root of the issue imo. They're not getting sexy/flirty vibes from you because you're treating a date like a friendly platonic hangout. They interpret this as either you not being interested/attracted to them, or you being a boring dud, or both. Yes you're technically showing interest by asking them questions about themselves, but if you're not creating a flirtatious energy around the interaction it's not going to FEEL that way, and feels are what matters. These women aren't feeling any chemistry or intrigue in their interactions with you so they're not inspired to open up.

[–]CainPrice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're weird about sex and not interested in it, that's going to make you come across as strange to 99 percent of women.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to have the mindset of going out to find a sex partner, otherwise she will not be interested in you. Women also want to fuck and feel desired. That’s why they go on dates. It sounds like you’re looking for female friends and not for a girlfriend. Treat her like a female friend and 100% she will not want to go home with you and bang you.

[–]Daniel3Lancer-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women are boring, just fuck them and leave them alone, or work on your money and make sure you have a future.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In their spare time, they go out for food or drinks, listen to music, fuck around on the internet, and watch Netflix

Shit, I think I might be a woman after all

[–]aimlesssouls 1 points [recovered]  (40 children) | Copy Link

If you want friends and deep philosophical conversations about shared interests, hang out with guys. If you're horny and want to make small talk for an hour over drinks and go home for sex, meet girls.

That is so fundamentally flawed, jesus are you 12? Do you seriously think that girls don't like deep conversations?

[–]CainPrice4 points5 points  (39 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I do. I also seriously think that the overwhelming majority of women don't have real hobbies and spend most of their free time trying out restaurants and bars, dating, listening to music, fucking around on the internet, and watching Netflix.

I readily accept that you, personally, may be a rare exception. But when I go out, I'm trying to have casual sex with the other 99.9% of women. I'm not trying to appeal to you. So if I meet a girl from the internet for a date and spend the entire time trying to have a deep conversation about hobbies instead of flirting, I'm shooting myself in the dick.

I can't afford to spend years looking for you. I don't want to go for years not having sex, holding out for some weird girl who has deep conversations. I'm going to do what gets me laid with the other 99.9% of women.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What's a real hobby?

Because the definition is

an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

[–]aimlesssouls 1 points [recovered]  (37 children) | Copy Link

majority of women don't have real hobbies and spend most of their free time trying out restaurants and bars, dating, listening to music, fucking around on the internet, and watching Netflix.

I just don't think you're going to have luck with women if you trivialize their interests and make yours superior. That's like saying the majority of men just like to play dumb video games. I feel there are deeper reasons why people like things, for example why is that musician their favorite band? What's their most relatable song lyric by them? What do you they like on Netflix? All humans love to talk about themselves and want to be asked personal questions, flirting is better when it's personalized to the person they're talking to. How is your game with how you approach girls now?

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (36 children) | Copy Link

That's what I mean. Actual hobbies are a man thing.

Women think having a favorite band and TV show is a hobby.

[–]GridReXXit be like that13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What are yours?

Women play tennis, crochet, book clubs, organize every volunteering and non-profit organization and all of the respective programming and fundraising events, gardening, painting, wood shopping, jewelry making, baking, artisanal cooking, DIY everything, yoga/Pilates and meditation, fanfic / write, make whatever artisanal goods bishes be selling at the flea markets and Etsy, play music, write music, nail art, make up artistry, and hella other “tinkering” or “social organizing/clubs.”

What are your hobbies and what makes them superior? Do tell.

[–]aimlesssouls 1 points [recovered]  (33 children) | Copy Link

What are your hobbies then? What do you see as "actual hobbies"?

[–]CainPrice5 points6 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

I do jiu jitsu, grow an herb garden, and love to cook. I'll buy strange meats and produce from farmers markets and learn how to work with them. I mix drinks, too. I've recently gotten into whisky drinks. I make my own syrups for them. I'll sometimes have some guys from the neighborhood over for grilling, whiskey drinks, and poker or maybe watching a UFC fight. I bought a piano recently and have been brushing up on musical skills I haven't used since high school. Singing while you play the piano is a magical panty dropper.

I have favorite musicians and TV shows, too. And favorite bars and restaurants. They're just not hobbies. When I can't fall asleep at night, I'll download whatever crappy Sci fi or fantasy read I can get for 99 cents on my ancient first generation Kindle. Reading is maybe kind of a hobby? I dunno.

[–]bluepy679 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I cook a lot and grow an herb garden too. Added holy basil and fenugreek to my garden this year to branch out to more Indian and Thai foods. I think TONS of women cook, lol. In fact, if you look at hobbies like cooking, sewing, knitting, crocheting, beading, jewelry making etc, they are mostly stereotypical feminine hobbies.

[–]GridReXXit be like that7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He could have Google’d “female hobbies” and saved himself from being so incredibly wrong.

This was just an authentic case of male solipsism shining bright.

[–]CainPrice1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Most women in their 20s, in 2019, don't knit. Maybe half can cook themselves dinner, but very few cook as a hobby.

Most women in their 20s, in 2019, fuck around on the internet and watch Netflix.

You're probably an older woman, and already married or at least engaged. A 20-something woman who has dating as an available hobby isn't at home growing herbs and learning how to sew. Homemaker hobbies went out of style ages ago and are mostly an oddity. They're around, but it's not "tons of women" doing it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Are you kidding me? Homemaker hobbies have been amplified like crazy over the past 10 years. Knitting, crochet, crafting, cooking, growing herbs indoors and out, gardening, sewing, decorating, all those things have an insane presence on social media. It is probably invisible to you because you are not following women who do this stuff on any platform that you have a presence on, but all this stuff is far more popular and widespread now than it was when I was a young woman.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i challenge you to go spend the day in hobby lobby joanns or michaels

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

I do jiu jitsu yoga, grow an herb garden, and love to cook. I'll buy strange meats and produce from farmers markets and learn how to work with them. I mix drinks, too. I've recently gotten into whisky gin drinks. I make my own syrups for them. I'll sometimes have some guys from the neighborhood the girls over for grilling, whiskey drinks, and poker or maybe watching a UFC fight wine and TV. I bought a piano recently and have been brushing up on musical skills I haven't used since high school.

There you go. You sound like every woman in my social circle.

[–]GridReXXit be like that1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The gin replacement is spot on 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I fucking love a good gin lol

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

I'm just an average guy. I'm not special or touting myself as some kind of amazing man. I only threw some examples out there because the commenter above thinks that a favorite TV show counts as an actual hobby.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

You claimed that women don't have hobbies, and then went on to list a bunch of your own basic bitch hobbies. Most women I know do all of those things, and have actual interesting hobbies on top of it.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly you don't sound that fascinating. I have a friend who invited us over to teach us how to do herbal infused cocktails, it was fun and herbs are generally her thing, I know lots of people like that, people who cook and take cooking courses or do a martial art, I don't see that as very unique or profound.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. I'm just an average dude. I'm nothing special. But the previous commenter didn't understand the difference between having a hobby and having a favorite TV show.

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was not a knock, I am pretty basic, I don't get the intellectual shaming that goes with hobby/activity rankings, I find it weird and childish.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading is maybe kind of a hobby? I dunno.

Reading shitty sci fi or YA (edit: I guess the generic female equivalent used to be disposable romance novels, but it seems like most women these days read YA) isn't really a hobby. It's no more a pastime than binge-watching Netflix.

Reading actual literature or serious nonfiction (i.e. not Extreme Ownership or other self-improvement crap) is a serious pastime. Most guys don't do it, though. Neither do most women.

[–]LovingLivingLargehere for a good time, not for a long time0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

dude -_- everything you listed was like oh hai yeah this guy likes cool stuff......

I also like all this stuff and have the same quirky farmers market weird meat fun. It seems strange to me that you think females don't have hobbies or like interesting things.

[–]praisethesun799Not actually a fag 😉7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yuck, what's this obsession with women's hobbies ? Find a woman with whom you have great chemistry and the conversation will flow by itself . The focus on "interesting personality and hobbies and conversation " sounds like you're looking for a friend .

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean asking someone who you have never talked to before out. Like being in the mindset of "I want to have a beer and a conversation with someone. Who should I ask? Wait! It is creepy if I just ask that."

Do you know how to talk to people? You don't just walk up to a woman and ask her out (unless you are drop-dead hot). You strike up a conversation, cultivate interest, gauge if interest is there, and if so, you propose a date.

It's like you've never dealt with a salesman. They don't just walk up to you and blurt out, "buy this!" They schmooze you. "Man, eating corn on the cob sure is tough, huh? There has to be a better way, man."

[–]philomexaSPITE ALONE HOLDS ME ALOFT3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Man, eating corn on the cob sure is tough, huh? There has to be a better way, man."

This is the greatest opener I've ever seen, I'm legit interested. Please, tell us more!

[–]buarthaDelights in homosexuality2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are a number of possible reasons for this.

a/ she's just not that into you

b/ she's shy and dislikes the focus being on her (I was like this when I was dating)

c/ her work/ hobby/ degree either isn't that interesting to outsiders, is highly technical and she doesn't want to waste her time explaining it to you like a child, or is something she thinks about all day at work/ Uni and doesn't want to have to rehash it with you as well. I work in research and enjoy it but it can be stressful and I find it testing when people ask me specifics about my work as it takes up enough of my headspace as it is.

[–]crackrocksteady7buying gf11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Secondly, in the rare occasions that the girl is not creeped out and agrees I find that their personality is as stale as blue cheese. What has happened!? Where have these girls been all this time? Don't they have hobbies? Aren't they excited about things?

you seem to have found the biggest issue with modern women. they suffer from basic bitchitis

Why are you looking at me for entertainment!?

thats what dating is for many of them. Entertain me

[–]undeadko[S] 6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

This post turned very quickly to a "You are boring" attack towards me. I am glad someone understood what I meant.

However, I was hoping to get more of a discussion on how to handle this. Maybe reassurance that I have just hit a few duds and to keep looking. Bonus - where to look for.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Your post doesnt belong here if you're going to be defensive. I mean it doesnt belong here at all but ESPECIALLY if you're going to be defensive

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry! Since when the word "discussion" is a synonym of "attack"? I better leave the sub altogether then.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You're not being attacked, people are discussing your post

[–]undeadko[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"You are boring." is an attack in my book.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It is not an attack, it is there attempted assessment of what's going on on your dates. You just wanted everyone to blame the women and not discuss you

[–]Here4thebeer3232No Pill6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You just wanted everyone to blame the women and not discuss you

This actually is a good amount of the content here. Its fitting to the sub in that sense

[–]crackrocksteady7buying gf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

However, I was hoping to get more of a discussion on how to handle this. Maybe reassurance that I have just hit a few duds and to keep looking. Bonus - where to look for.

r/asktrp

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband16 points17 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

Whhhhaaa?! Let me get this straight.... Your a man... That's not interested in what women do or say?! That's just crazy! Insanity! Because I'm so sure those girls were 100% interested in your Marvel vs DC rant since men and women are interested in exactly the same things all time. You know what you should do? You should try to teach her some better hobbies, like computer programming. She would love that!

/S, obviously.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ7 points8 points  (39 children) | Copy Link

While I agree the overall tone about all this is a bit weird, he still makes it clear that this isn't about the hobby or subject itself, but rather that the person isn't trying to fuel the conversation and doesn't seem interested by her own hobby. Basically it's a long ass post just to say women who are barely interested in him will answer with one word.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband13 points14 points  (38 children) | Copy Link

My guess is that women speak in a frequency that he can't hear and so when she is gushing about something she loves and is passionate about he zones out, which amounts to nothing in his mind.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ5 points6 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it's what's happening. Lot of women out there aren't actually enjoying the idea of talking about their very girly and boring hobbies and passions (just as you quoted very boyish and boring hobbies such as programmation, video games and marvel shit) to a man they just met.

While he's all about "iNtErEsTiNg DiScUsSiOnS" like a true stiff ISTJ, she's here to have the "feelz" and she's not getting any.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband9 points10 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

While he's all about "iNtErEsTiNg DiScUsSiOnS" like a true stiff ISTJ, she's here to have the "feelz" and she's not getting any.

I think this is spot on actually. He's not giving her anything to play off of also. If she starts talking about her hobbies and he seems disinterested (aka not giving her good feels about it), she's going to trail off.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

He would likely do much better to interrupt her, contradict her, or tell her how much he hates whatever it is she’s talking about

At least that gives some room for conflict or drama

[–]angels-fanCrooning over hellscapes2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah.

There is an art to this.

Contradict her enough to keep her on her toes, but not so much that you're just being a disagreeable ass hole.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yea definitely don’t wanna come off as the guy that contradicts everything but just the same don’t wanna agree about everything either

[–]angels-fanCrooning over hellscapes1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I also find the letting a date sway your opinion works too.

Disagree with her, argue for a bit, let her make a case, then say, "huh... Never thought of it that way. I think you might be right!"

Men are usually so caught up in the masculinity of being right that women rarely see a man admit when he's wrong. It's so rare that it sometimes throws them off guard, but it helps the date in the long run.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea definitely and it’s certianly going to feel a lot more like an interaction with some give and take than if it’s just like agree agree agree

Still tho I mean some girls are hopeless and you can’t pull good conversation out of them no matter what you do

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

Even if he's legitimately interested, that's going to be dull no matter what.

To her, the discussion is just the background noise for the flirting and body language, to him, there's just no flirting and body language, just informations and topics. At least that's the vibe he gives me.

[–]Nerdacious 1 points [recovered]  (16 children) | Copy Link

What if you feel that you almost aren't allowed to flirt because that seems like you don't 'know your lane'? As in, it feels like you almost need permission to flirt, so if you don't get it, tacitly or not, you just stay with trying to spark things with interesting conversations (e.g talking about hobbies).

Maybe we are/I am just taking things way too damn serious on dates - not that I've been on many anyways.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

  • I personally cannot control flirting, it's just a natural response to being attracted and having someone at least a bit receptive in front of me.
  • Lot of situations accept mild flirting even if things are going to stay platonic no matter what.
  • As a man you're still not supposed to care when you can or can't flirt. Flirting is supposed to feel good and be fun for yourself, and that's all what you aim for in life.

[–]neubsWizard3 points4 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

As a man you're still not supposed to care when you can or can't flirt.

Seems like an easy way to get outed as a creep

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

creep = you're rejected. You'll be rejected and considered a creep even in situations where flirting is considered allowed.

[–]_Neon_Shadow_3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Or she's just boring like a majority of women.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not surprising that men find women boring.

[–]_Neon_Shadow_3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We find boring people boring.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a fair and unbiased comment.

[–]throwaway1643 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

My guess is he's either short, or otherwise isn't physically attractive or is poor.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] -3 points-2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

No inc*l content.

[–]banananutbranmuffin2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

please don't destroy this sub by lousy agenda driven over moderation.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kay.

[–]throwaway16433 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

How is it incel content? I'm just pointing out that attraction has a huge physical/econxomic component

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Take it to modmail.

[–]throwaway16431 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Okay, how can I do that? Just message you or is there some other mechanism?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Modmail, there's a link in the sidebar to message the mods.

[–]throwaway16432 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks!

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

You have it wrong for some reason. I do not find her work boring. I do not find her hobbies boring. From the way she talks about them it seems that SHE finds them boring. So I try to steer the conversation to positive without any success and the whole thing falls apart eventually.

Because I'm so sure those girls were 100% interested in your Marvel vs DC rant since men and women are interested in exactly the same things all time.

Maybe you should read my post first? Here let me give you the exact line that I do not hit them with why Serral just broke the meta:

When I go out with someone I usually try to listen and play back on their topic.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You have it wrong for some reason. I do not find her work boring. I do not find her hobbies boring. From the way she talks about them it seems that SHE finds them boring. So I try to steer the conversation to positive without any success and the whole thing falls apart eventually.

I can almost guarantee you she does not find her hobby boring. Or why would she do it?

Maybe you should read my post first? Here let me give you the exact line that I do not hit them with why Serral just broke the meta:

When I go out with someone I usually try to listen and play back on their topic.

Yeah I know you say that... But what does it look like in practice? You asking a few trite questions yes/no questions?

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You assume a lot mate. No, it does not look like that.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So what does it look like?

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I joke and try to steer the conversation towards her telling a story. Because the activity we are doing is great and all but we have to fill the silence with something. It might as well be something one of us enjoys.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude. Girls are shy too! Do people forget women can be nervous and hesitant on dates?

[–]goatismycopilotPurple Pill Woman5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Part of the reason you are encountering this lack of verbal passion describing hobbies is that the women who are passionate about their hobbies are spending time and effort on their hobbies and discussing them in a passionate way with other people who share their niche. So you are picking low energy women who then do not regal you with tales of their passions and possibly because that is who you were in a relationship previously. So some chick who is way into something like art or rock climbing or surfing or whatever isn't going to date you to begin with. I saw where you listed a bunch of hobbies and among them were movies and comic books, I do not see how that is any different that basic bitch Netflix which is something guys here hate. The problem is that some guys assume their hobbies are fascinating and the hobbies other people have are shit. Everything you described is pretty basic

[–]philomexaSPITE ALONE HOLDS ME ALOFT5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My two biggest hobbies are professional wrestling and poetry. I could spend HOURS talking about professional wrestling, there is so much about it that is great for deep dive discussions.

However when I'm on a first date, I won't want to go into a deep dive discussion about wrestling, I want to flirt, banter, feel sexy, laugh, and touch.

Getting lost in a discussion about wrestling is something I do before the date, when I'm getting to know a stranger and feeling out chemistry. If we can have a 2 hour convo about the failures of WWE booking circa 2008-2015 during our first meeting, then I'll absolutely go on a date with a dude; but once I'm on that date I don't want to talk about that any more, I want to feel a vibe, speak in sexual innuendo, and giggle.

I don't want an interview, I don't want to talk about ideas; these are not things that make girls feel sexy, open, and passionate.

[–]angels-fanCrooning over hellscapes8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The state of dating is that men are dancing monkeys that must entertain the female sufficiently enough that she might choose you to mate with.

Females are not required to put in any effort. They simply judge whether your dancing is sufficient.

TRP is here to tell you these unpleasant truths. I never said it would be easy, Neo. Welcome to the desert of the real world.

It's honestly exhausting.

[–]LonelyCosAutistic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]PM_Happy_Puppy_PicsPurple Pill Man-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think OP has hit a real nerve judging by some of the other posts. Women expect a lot from men, but women don't want to have any expectations put on them. To even suggest there are any expectations makes you a misogynist asshole. The game is rigged in favor of women, but understanding the game helps you play it a little better.

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

You are a man of my heart.I honestly don't care about that passion crap ,but the problem is that most women are really bad conversationalists and boring.9 times out of 10 they got no other interest other than work/education and Instagram .And although most women talk a lot, they really don't know how to steer a conversation and make the whole topic dull.

[–]sophii15 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m a woman who loves to talk. I work at the front desk at my casino, and customers regularly stop by for a good 20 minute conversation. I used to dominate conversations in my younger years, but learned how to have a healthy flow of questions and answers and now have great conversations with all people, men, women, children, old people.

As someone who talks to all these different sorts of people (and have my whole life, i’ve just gotten better at it with age) Ive never noticed this huge difference with women being bad at conversations, except that with women you typically talk about what’s going on that day “your dress looks pretty” “what did you eat tonight” “how does it look on the floor?” and with men you talk about more specific activities “what hand got you knocked out on NL?” “have you played any larger tournaments?”

Also with women it’s harder to break the barriers. I can have a basic conversations with almost any man, but a lot of women will close them self’s off to conversation. On the other hand if you do find a girl whose open to conversations you can literally talk for 6 hours straight, something I’ve done many times with other girls and have never done with a guy.

hope my perspective helps.

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also with women it’s harder to break the barriers. I can have a basic conversations with almost any man, but a lot of women will close them self’s off to conversation. On the other hand if you do find a girl whose open to conversations you can literally talk for 6 hours straight, something I’ve done many times with other girls and have never done with a guy.

This is a big part of what I'm talking about.Its not that they are particularly bad at conversations it's that they are bad at conversations with strangers.Once they relax a little they are somewhat better.

[–]undeadko[S] -1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

You might be the only person who understood what I was talking about.

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look I don't blame them much and I don't expect too much.Knowing how to make a good conversation with a stranger happen is a skill.One that men need to master while women have no need for.Unfortunately it's something you will have to learn to put up with .They get somewhat better once you get to know them and they arent as awkward.

[–]nbrnay0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Nah i get your point. Fact is in todays social media world, young women are so extremely valuable. They do not need to be interesting because they get a few dms a day and hundreds of likes on their pictures. That is the validation that they need, and they got that by doing absolutely nothing, and this translates into people having 0 actual social skills but it doesn't matter when you're hot.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

Not all young women, just the vapid social media addicts. If you're trolling on Tinder, Snap and IG, then that's all you're gonna find because they're on there the most. Drop the apps and meet real people IRL.

[–]nbrnay-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The majority of young women are social media addicts tho. Lot of men too.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Got numbers to back that up? Many are, but there are a lot of other women. Depends on who you meet.

[–]nbrnay0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Of course not, just like you don’t have any to back the counter. It would be impossible to get a reliable source. I just looked around me at the young women I know

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

And the young women I know aren't. Like I said, depends on who you meet. If your social network is boring, go learn to meet other people.

[–]nbrnay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Guess we’re both right and wrong.

[–]Akashe88-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

and this translates into people having 0 actual social skills but it doesn't matter when you're hot

Or any cognitive skills, hobbies, career, anything, really.

[–]Kizzou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is just something have to accept within the dating world and go from there. Both men and women are generally boring. I have gone on too many dates where the woman was boring as hell but I made the date fun by guiding the convo and giving off a fun/positive vibe.

In these moments where you feel like you're talking to a tree, just keep doing your thing; asking questions and bringing up topics you find interesting/fun until something maybe catches her. You can also ask more open-ended questions or even bring up topics that result in an open-ended discussion. Keep it fun. Play games with her like "fuck, kill, and marry" while you are out drinking coffee or grabbing a drink. Make it fun and have fun. Focus on yourself having a good time.

In all, the "dilemma" you present of the boring ass woman is why I keep the first date simple; coffee or a beer, to assess if she can have a basic/fun conversation.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any girl will be comfortable opening up to a guy that she's interested in...

Girls will gladly be outgoing and lively for an attractive guy she wants to woo.

The problem is you.

And ditto to some comments saying they don't want a serious conversation on a date. Girls go on dates to HAVE FUN AND LET LOOSE. You're obviously making it seem prim and proper or too serious and strained. I've had many successful dates and none of them involve me talking about my hobbies in depth or whatever. I'm not going on a date to explain my life to them. I'm going on a date to have fun and laugh.

Stop blaming others and take responsibility for your own personality, sir.

[–]Blexit2020Red Pill Woman1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Say the following as soon as you see her:

Been watching you baby. For a long time. You look so good. Got my eyes on you.

I've been watching you for so very long. Trying to get my nerve built up to be so strong. I really want to meet you, but I'm kind of scared. 'Cause you're the kind of lady with so much class. I get my thoughts together for the very next day. But when I see you lady I forget what to say. Your eyes and hair such a beautiful tone. The way you dress and walk it really turns me on.

Come and talk to me. I really want to meet you. Can I talk to you? I really want to know you.

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It won't translate well in my native language.

[–]Blexit2020Red Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a song. So, sing it. I'm semi-joking, btw.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a general problem in the dating world and don't take ANYONE out on a date without a few days of engaged conversation on a messenger throughout the day first. That's my rule. I ain't gonna take you to dinner until you spend some time asking me about myself

[–]rumple5skins2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They can talk about and think about their hobbies and jobs on their own or with friends. Basic social interactions like conversations are second nature to women, they can do that any time they want, it’s nothing special.

On dates, women are looking for stuff they only get from dates: flirting, tingles, romance, sex - in addition to intelligent-enough conversation to not feel embarrassed by you.

The real world is completely devoid of whimsy and romance, so they want you to conjure that up for them. And yes, it is exhausting as fuck.

A smart woman compartmentalizes dating in such a way that early dates don’t allow for too much information to be gathered about her. Most women have been played before (or worse) and don’t want it to happen again, so they keep their levers hidden until they know they can trust you. So they don’t like talking about their life outside of your little date bubble, they are looking to escape by spending time in a fabricated world where they are the center of reality. Men are too, and that means something different for every single person.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Date ugly girls. They usually have a personality because they actually have to.

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

um no, thats not a legit correlation

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a joke. But there is probably some level of truth to it.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

after a 4 year long LDR

You mean celibacy with a twist

it is really hard to ask someone out without being a creep.

You're always going to make people uncomfortable no matter what.

I find that their personality is as stale as blue cheese

Since you're probably not Chad they expect you to compensate in other department. Welcome to life as an average man, your SMV is equal to an ugly obese chick.

Well how about you offer something back?

They don't feel like they have to offer back anything, there are plenty of dudes like you who are willing to date them.

However, you might also consider that you're boring, and maybe instead of talking and be interested, they want to laugh, to be flirted to, to be complimented, touched, and to have a penis in them. Seeing how you talk you seem stiff, you seem like you don't have substance, IDK.

First thing I think of a cardboard collection is to gently bully the girl for having such a stupid hobby, and while this seems like being a jerk, most people IRL laugh, because people tease each others all the time, and flirting implies you step in her bubble one way or another.

Where can I find people who have hobbies and are passionate about what they do?

Gay bars.

Your problem is you care too much about others, you're not dating or flirting for others, you're doing it for yourself, try and have fun for yourself, seek and go for your personal pleasure, and people will follow. As you said, you're not their entertainer, but they're not yours either.

Maybe they search a boyfriend to fix them, and that's bad for them, however that will work for them but not for you, so you better be independent, because the fact women aren't isn't an excuse not to be.

[–]undeadko[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

They don't feel like they have to offer back anything, there are plenty of dudes like you who are willing to date them.

Way to go to generalize!

But you captured it perfectly. "They don't feel like they have to offer back anything". Well why go out with me then? Free lunch?

However, you might also consider that you're boring, and maybe instead of talking and be interested, they want to laugh, to be flirted to, to be complimented, touched, and to have a penis in them.

I have considered it. I am not boring. They are. And do you know how I know? I simply give them the chance to express themselves and they fall flat. When I express myself they like it. Everything I have to say captures their interest. Sorry to say that they do not reciprocate. As I said, the cardboard collection is great IF you have passion behind it. Tell me a story about it. Steer the conversation somewhere so I can play off of it. Maybe some joking. Maybe it leads to another topic?

Seeing how you talk you seem stiff, you seem like you don't have substance

Define "substance".

First thing I think of a cardboard collection is to gently bully the girl for having such a stupid hobby

Well you will not go far with the girls I have gone out with. They would collapse and you will have to deal with the awkward silence.

Gay bars.

Seriously!? You are telling me that the only people who have passion about their lives are gays? Are women just a fuck hole for you?

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well why go out with me then? Free lunch?

As I suggested, they expect you to prove yourself.

I am not boring. They are. And do you know how I know? I simply give them the chance to express themselves and they fall flat.

If I wanna have a passionate conversation I can always go talk to friends or to other passionate people. But when I date I want something else. Why do you conflate the two?

Well you will not go far with the girls I have gone out with. They would collapse and you will have to deal with the awkward silence.

They would open up, they would have reactions, obvious body language, they would be closer to me. Even the most sensitive girls I know do react positively to snarky comments.

Seriously!? You are telling me that the only people who have passion about their lives are gays? Are women just a fuck hole for you?

I'm telling you that if you want to DATE people who have higher chance of having passions you should go to gay bars, you'll have higher chance of meeting someone like you. OR as I said earlier, you can separate the hobbies and focus on flirting when you're dating...

When you date them they expect a man to make them feel like women, not like pupils. Maybe considering them like sexual partner could help you?

[–]Akashe88-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They don't feel like they have to offer back anything, there are plenty of dudes like you who are willing to date them.

Way to go to generalize!

But you captured it perfectly. "They don't feel like they have to offer back anything". Well why go out with me then? Free lunch?

Generalization or not. It's true. And yeah, there are a lot of women who go on dates for the hope of a worst case scenario of getting free stuff.

There have been some similar studies:

New psychology research reveals 23-33% of women in an online study say they've engaged in a 'foodie call,' where they set up a date for a free meal. These women score high on the 'dark triad' of personality traits as well.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190621140343.htm

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[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry dude, a lot of women's hobbies come down to watching their favorite shows and social media. They also like socializing with people who know their favorite shows and like to talk about current events of the people the collectively know. Not all women but I feel in large this is how I feel it all too often goes. Most people aren't really that interesting, but if they are into you it doesn't really matter.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dunno how to help. I always aim to be entertaining , it's just baked into my personality.

[–]flyinghorse10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Online dating is super easy - try that.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I find that women’s interest in being lively and exciting and fun directly corresponds to how fit I am

Just my experience tho

[–]skystar860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything's considered creepy now. Why worry about something that's just inevitable? Someone somewhere will find it creepy. Get over it because most of these feelings have no logic behind them anyways.

[–]Tomatoccino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? Go and fish in that pool; be passionate about enjoying what you do, and enthuiastic about what your colleagues do. Genuine compliments and constructive help; give her a reason to see a connection.

Also; make sure you don’t pong. Even the hottest man will get a hard next if he has BO or bad breath.

[–]fevertree0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try dating an older woman if you want interesting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m a dude, and I’m very private about my hobbies; they’re special to me, and I don’t share them with anyone. If someone pressured me to talk about my hobbies in detail I’d get a bit shy. I don’t want to exposure what I value and treasure to someone I barely know; they could easily misjudge things and make statements which belittle or minimise what I’m passionate about. Perhaps this is what’s happening

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thats just life. Most women are boring as shit. Some of PPD will say they just aren't that into you but a lot of women have nothing going on except dor being attractive. It's gotten them that far and they've never needed anything else.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Speaking of boring hobbies, r/mechmarket is a thing I’ve found quite a few men are very into.

What are your hobbies, OP ? Often times boring people attract other boring people.

[–]undeadko[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Playing guitar, engineering, programming, technology, sci-fi, comic books, manga, movies (any kind), books (any kind except psychology), cooking, travelling, hiking, swimming, computer games, business, finances, biology... actually any scientific topic, universities as a concept, to name a few.

However, my hobbies and interests are my own. These are just the topics I can talk about for hours and have a good time doing it. I do not expect the other person to find them interesting. On the other hand I am looking for their passions and interests. Tell me about what you like. It might not match with mine. It doesn't matter I will be interested in hearing about it even more actually. I will get the chance to learn something new.

For example, I do not like football. If a girl starts talking about it I will listen with great interest and probably throw a joke how I suck at it. I will ask questions and then can easily draw parallels to one of my hobbies. In this example it will have to default to computer games. Because the strategies are very similar and what not.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ask her about her favorite show on Netflix and she’ll never shut up.

Or maybe start going to clubs / hobby meet ups to find chicks with more varied interests.

[–]Akashe88-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

and probably throw a joke how I suck at it

Don't do that. It makes you look bad and decreases your chances of bedding the maiden.

[–]Odd18-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Besides guitar, travelling, hiking, and swimming (depending on what exactly you mean), these are all prodigiously boring hobbies from a woman's perspective. Even from mine, and I'm a ("red-pilled") man.

I'm into books, business, and finance but don't consider those to be hobbies, rather a lifestyle as nuanced as that saying is.

From this comment and some of your others, you sound boring yourself. Blue birds fly with blue birds, red birds fly with red birds. Opposites do not attract in this situation barring high leveks of physical attractiveness and/or desperation.

Hobbies wise I'm into guitar, traveling, hiking, bass fishing, kayaking, climbing, and camping. Why? These are things that I genuinely enjoy and also add value to my life and others that I choose to share my life with. That is part of being a high value man. Not just holding value, but adding it in places you see fit.

Hiking, kayaking, and climbing are all areas where I can meet women rather easily that are interested in the same things that generally fit into my parameters of attractiveness. Given that we share interests, and these interests also cross over into other physical interests of which I either enjoy or am curious about, the women I meet from these things are generally not boring to me.

Even a lot of times meeting wlmen outside of these things, I find out they are into something I'm into or am interested in just because I force myself to make my own life interesting and not boring.

Additionally, for one example, I met a girl in a bar that is huge into climbing, and has climbed in both Yellowstone and Yosemite. Due to the whole common interest that generally overlaps into other common interests thing, we were able to have a really stimulating conversation where neither of us were bored.

So, be stimulating. Add value to the conversation. Meet women through your hobbies, because again, this hobby will usually overlap into another area of interest for one or both of you.

Lots of women are vapid, yes. Especially in their late teens/early twenties. So are some me, but perhaps not as many. Do some introspection and start looking in the right places.

[–]pnadlerlaw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m starting a depo in 10mins, but this post gave me a great idea for a new post. Thanks! 🙏

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not you. Women ain't shit. The only reason they get any attention at all is because of our sex drive.

[–]whichbladeN 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol. If only you had the strength to go your own way.

[–]Akashe88-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What has happened!?

I was just doing laundry earlier. While sorting clothes, from far away, with the right shadowing I accidentally caught a glimpse of my half-naked self in the bathroom mirror. I was thinking to myself "Damn, I could be a stunt double for Henry Cavill!".

Then with full lightning, from another angle, in another mirror I just looked like a decent-looking gym-going guy.

Girls nowadays tend to use heavy makeup, slutty clothes, filters, good angles and curate their online presence on FaceBook, Instagram, etc. with those Henry Cavill pictures, have thousands of followers of thirsty boys, receive so much validation and "love" that almost every single one of them feels ridiculously entitled.

Where have these girls been all this time?

They have always been here. Technology just catalyzed female genetics.

Don't they have hobbies?

No. Not real hobbies anyways. The vast majority of them are just empty party animals and supersluts.

Some of them have pretend hobbies, mainly to make them look more interesting. Like how most gamergirls don't give a fuck about gaming, but are interested in the validation they get from their "gamer" status.

Oh, wait. Travel. A frequent hobby is travel. But it really is just a way to gain status and validation, get pampered, and shit on peers who travel less. (On a male's money, usually)

Aren't they excited about things?

Show them your BMW. They will be excited.

Promise them you'll take them for vacations.

Tell them you are a manager at a nice firm.

Where can I find people who have hobbies and are passionate about what they do?

Those are your male friends, I'm afraid.

I have read here that women look for x, y, z, ... in a man. Well how about you offer something back?

In their eyes they have an inflated value. Pussy is also considered a treasure to give away. They also don't value the things you value. For example, I value intellectual conversations, science, skepticism, some politics, etc. I've never had a proper discussion in these topics with a female. It would be cool if a chick started talking about Star Trek, or the latest microprocessor technology, or the Iranian crisis, or whatever, but that will just never happen.

Why are you looking at me for entertainment!?

In the end, this is the Game in 2019, and has been for quite a while. Play it, do some pump and dumping. Or try to find that unicorn significant other who shares your values and some of your hobbies and interests, only to find out that they are either so rare that they pretty much don't exist, or turn out to be standard issue women mark2 in the end.

[–]vivisectressPurple Pill Legbeard0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am curious, what's so important to you about the iranian crisis to you that you mentioned it in your list of topics?. I guess that's the 'some politics'? Just was interesting because it was lumped with a well known classic Sci Fi franchise and technology development, I can understand those and how they link.

Also, what about a less masculine spin on those topics in the area of science and politics? Like neuroscience, physiology, climate change politics. Books instead of star trek. What about new(ish) theories in neuroscience, such as the presence of action (soliton) waves as the carrier of the signal instead/alongside the action (electrical) potential? And what implication this might have on computational neuroscience?

[–]Akashe880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just brought up a random topics out of a myriad topics I'm interested in. The Iranian crisis is fresh, and came to mind as last week I talked about it with a friend for a few minutes. I like having conversations with this guy, as he usually has good ideas and curiosity.

Also, what about a less masculine spin on those topics in the area of science and politics? Like neuroscience, physiology, climate change politics.

I don't see these as less masculine topics.

I am all in for less masculine topics though. For example, I tried to chat about education and bringing up children many times with probably hundreds of people, including in a university context, but never found a competent partner. Even university professors are mired in woo, pseudoscience (as much of the field is, even at a "research" level).

I read multiple books every month. Almost exclusively non-fiction, in various thinky topics. One finds quickly that although women seem to read much more books, they almost exclusively read trash novels (mainly girl-porn).

What about new(ish) theories in neuroscience, such as the presence of action (soliton) waves as the carrier of the signal instead/alongside the action (electrical) potential? And what implication this might have on computational neuroscience?

You see, that sounds like a mouth-watering topic. I would certainly treasure the interlocutor who brought that up.

[–]welcometothejlRed Pill Man-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women have a virtual limitless supply of men who are jumping at a chance to date them. Because of this, many women don't try and it shows in their dull selfish personalities and doughy unappealing bodies. This is why they can't turn these limitless dating opportunities into one long term relationship.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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