TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

43

Here are a few examples:

(A)[https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/why-men-dont-have-balls-anymore]

(B)[https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-guys-approach-women-theyre-interested-in-anymore-Is-it-our-girls-fault]

(C)[https://viva.media/it-s-not-okay-to-say-hi-to-women-anymore]

(D)[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2218451/Emma-Watson-doubts-date-British-man-again.html]

Now, we all know that according to Reddit women, there is a near unanimous opinion that approaching women is unwelcome, unwanted, leave us alone, harassment, etc. I know. We know.

Separate from that, for those women who do wish that men would approach them more... for these women, do you think they understand the reason men don't approach?

That being it is solely due to women themselves sending a clear and no uncertain message that, like their fellow women of Reddit, approaches means you're a creepy, harassing, predatory, misogynist? Other women.

This one particular set of women, they do know this right?


[–]throwawayhouseissue1I talk to strangers32 points33 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

I approach people all the time. It is important to be in tune to social queues, if they look bored or annoyed then just say, "have a good day" and walk away. Don't linger around and force someone to listen to your stupid story or question. Be social, friendly, and non-threatening. I am a big guy and not the most attractive but all of my most recent girlfriends have been from chatting them up in the wild.

This whole thing where women don't want to be approached, and society is all falling apart is way overblown imho. You just have to not be creepy and follow rule one and rule two. The thing is, most people are extremely friendly in the wild if you are genuine. "Hey can you believe the weather today?" or "This is the first time I have tried this, and it's not the best. What'd you get?" Anything simple people can answer is good. You can tell immediately if they are like, rolling their eyes, and act like they would rather be anywhere else and say "yeah, i got a chai." OK, i'll try that, thanks, then walk away. But if she's enthusiastic and wants to keep talking then ramp it up a little and be kinda flirty. It is not that hard.

If you try to pull a conversation out of the chai girl when she has clearly tried to demonstrate she doesn't want to chat, then you are the asshole, not her.

So I viewed it as a numbers thing. Tell a girl I like her hair, where'd she get it done? Or I like her shoes, where did she get those? Simple genuine things to start a conversation. And eventually I met girls that showed interest. It isn't hard, it doesn't cost anything, and there's very little risk if you understand body language and abort as soon as you meet resistance. I am not going to claim to be some PUA who says to try and push through resistance or whatever, nope, not me, you get any sign she isn't interested? Looking at phone, her watch, or looking away, or ANYTHING at all, then abort, mission over. Retreat.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If men got lost quicker when a target showed she wasn't interested there wouldn't be as many girls complaining about being approached in public.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

It is not that hard.

It's pretty fucking hard. If when you say, you're big, you mean muscular big, that's probably the key to your success.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's pretty easy if you have social skills. If you don't, develop them.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I have plenty of social skills with guys. Girls seem completely different to me. Guys think I'm cool and will tell me about their gf like I'm supposed to relate, but I can't get a girl on my side.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

By getting a girl on your side do you mean talk a girl into fucking you in the next 30 mins, or just have a conversation with one?

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've had conversations with a lot of stranger women. Getting a girl on my side I just mean getting her to be completely honest with me or not treat me like I'm a child.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm honestly delighted to see such a sensible and normal comment here.

It's not hard to act casual and friendly at first blush, then leave if someone is clearly not feeling it--I'm a stranger-talker too (not just chat-ups or whatever, but just random people), and that really is how it goes.

[–]QueenCousland864 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're sensible, I like you.

[–]circlhat4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is typically how male issues are discussed, your doing it wrong, it's a bit more complicated than that , first women are complaining and secondly men are falsely accused of being creepy in ways that are unfair.

it doesn't cost anything, and there's very little risk if you understand body language and abort as soon as you meet resistance.

Body language isn't always a clear cut indicator, thanks to PUA I made a move even when I felt she was disinterested, and she agreed to come over, I think giving men some sort of fallback with PUA helps them, other than condensing obvious advice

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you got a girlfriend by initially asking where she got her shoes?

[–]flyinghorse120 points21 points  (69 children) | Copy Link

I just use tinder and bumble and it works for me. If I don't know them on the street they may be: gay, married, celibate, just not interested, and so on - at least everyone on tinder who matches with me is single, mutually attracted, and open to dating.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (22 children) | Copy Link

at least everyone on tinder who matches with me is single, mutually attracted, and open to dating.

Most women who matched me were just looking for some validation and already had boyfriends. But I'm glad it works for you.

[–]Barneysparky2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How did you know the women you matched on Tinder with had boyfriend's?

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Uh, they told me? And not all of them did that obviously.

But I also used to hang out with some women in my group who told me they had made tinder profiles just for validation (and I knew they had boyfriends).

So I assume many of the women who didn't tell me were just looking for validation.

Plus women are almost never single here. The most autistic women I've found turned out to have a 6ft tall, skinny, art major boyfriends who listen to heavy metal.

[–]Barneysparky0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You stated that all the women who messaged you had boyfriend's. Your reply didn't help your case at all. All you do know is the girls who initially picked your profile didn't want to go any further after texting with you.

I once signed up for tinder for a day sans photo because we lived in a tiny surf town and it added another dimension to our people watching. It's odd that you believe all the women are on there for validation instead of the miriade of other reasons. There are certainly a lot of young women who seek validation from men finding them desirable, but that's a percentage not a norm. I was in Toronto for a week and saw two sets of Instagram types spending time on perfect poses, and even saw a girl walking around in a bikini with 2 sidekicks in the financial district. I also saw thousands of other women going to work and getting about their day. Actively seeking outside validation is a marker for BPD in adults, but considered normal behavior in teens.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

You're not going to get a LTR out of them but you can be their side dick.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (16 children) | Copy Link

I don't have the morals for that. Now, sure, we're not exclusive until we talk it out, but I won't sleep with someone who I know for a fact is not single.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

You're not going after them if they're the ones looking to cheat. It's the unspoken truth of players and guys with higher than average N counts - their diet consists of "taken" and married thots.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

These dudes almost never know for sure if the woman is married/has a bf, though.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah, sure, I can believe that /s

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They don't really bother asking a woman if she is single. They assume she is.

[–]Peter59301 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Plus boyfriends don't mark their territory by leaving hair pins and ties everywhere, so there's less clues to pick up on that she's not single.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah and they don't call or message or inquire where she is. Especially husbands.

[–]The-Worst-Bot0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate your enthusiasm for sarcasm, but indicating it defeats its purpose.

[–]Anti-The-Worst-Bot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You really are the worst bot.

As user BigAngryPolarBear once said:

Gtfo

I'm a human being too, And this action was performed manually. /s

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

/s

[–]the-worst-bot-sucks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

BEGONE BOT

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you're human and reading this, you can help by reporting or banning u/The-Worst-Bot. I will be turned off when this stupidity ends, thank you for your patience in dealing with this spam.

PS: Have a good quip or quote you want repeatedly hurled at this dumb robot? PM it to me and it might get added!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh yeah, sure, I can believe that /s

I'd love to say I knew, but generally the women tend to lie about being taken. I'd just get angry calls and messages afterwards.

I'd find out months later when things were over that they'd had partners. If men only knew how willing women are to cheat and lie about it...

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If men only knew how willing women are to cheat and lie about it...

They'd do what? Stop lying and cheating themselves?

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah, I sort of knew that since HS. There was a guy who'd been to prison and had a carpentry business. He fucked a lot of the engineer's wives while they were at work.

He'd go to screw in the furniture as well as the lady of the house. :))

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not the average woman, the ones who give men the impression that there is a chance.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm going into a STEM field and you bet your ass I'm NEVER getting married for this exact reason.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

is single

I would not be sure for everyone.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (44 children) | Copy Link

I just use tinder and bumble and it works for me.

Yeah it works for you. But likely most guys get the raw end of the stick.

[–]flyinghorse1-2 points-1 points  (43 children) | Copy Link

How so?

[–]RandomReeditUser7 points8 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

There was an OkCupid study showing just how well online dating works for the average man.

Tinders another great example. For the average male it just doesn't work.

I'd link the study, but I can't seem to find it and they've taken it down from what I can tell. There are a lot of articles about the study however, so you can glimpse the charts and data that way.

[–]CoochieCoochieLou 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RandomReeditUser1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ty, I'd been digging for that.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Eh. Three of my four exes (the fourth is married) all have great times with online dating. The third is a banker so super busy and used to literally use tinder as a buffet. The second was adorable. He’d match girls and they’d actually just invite themselves over. (I’m friends with all my exes FYI.)

I also dated a guy for a few months (he found out he had to move away so we couldn’t get serious). He was a colleague of my friend. And my friend told me the guy had 500+ matches on tinder and just wound up never using it much because it became too much.

I also went on a couple of tinder dates. The one didn’t work because the guy looked nothing like his pictures and was facing a felony charge lol and the other worked out but I realized I just wasn’t into him after about two months.

So yea I think it works if you don’t misrepresent yourself and you match with someone who wants something.

[–]RandomReeditUser-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The numbers don't lie, and the studies showed the opposite of what you're claiming.

Not to mention that you're a woman. It's statistically shown that women get multiplicatively more matches than men do.

Very few men of the greater population get hundreds of matches. Talk to any average guy and ask them if they get 500 matches in a week/month/6months. Highly likely they don't.

I personally don't worry about dating. I like to study it from the statistical perspective, and the implications it has for the male-female dating environment. There will always be outliers, and men who fall in the top percentage that are able to take great advantage of tinder and other dating utilities, but they're just that: in the top percentage or outliers.

[–]flyinghorse1-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe its location dependent - it works great in England, Italy, and Vietnam

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

England - my British friends tell me the women are not like American women. You'll go on a date, shag and then if you like each other, date some more.

Italy - Italians do have a reputation to maintain...

Vietnam - those South East Asian countries are havens for debauchery, especially if you're a foreigner.

[–]flyinghorse1-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the UK we tend to have sex in the first 3 dates. We're also not too fussed about status and all that. I see americans often worried about income whereas wages aren't a huge factor in romance or sex here. You're right about Vietnam: sex is abundant here if you want it.

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man-2 points-1 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Then don't be average.

[–]RandomReeditUser0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

The study showed that 80% of men are considered unattractive. Female average puts about 80% of men out of the game. So while some of the people further down this comment chain may think they're above average, they may only be above average by their definition.

The female definition of average is far different from what people seem to understand and the numbers in the study showed this. I'd also say the bottom 5% of the top 20% only do so well as they often compared to the top of the top putting them in an odd space themselves. Showing that ~15% of men (worse case scenario supported by numbers) primarily recieve attention and consideration.

It's incredibly interesting to dig into from a statistical standpoint where the way a man rates an average woman is like an actual bell curve, with most women being in the middle and the ends tapering off, like it would realistically. From there the next question would be what fundamentally is wrong with the way women consider 80% of men to be undesirable in the first place, when men statistically maintain a more grounded range of ratings for women?

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I remember that. So, be in the top 20%. My point still stands, improve until you start getting laid. I did. I definitely consider myself extremely average looking at best, but I don't get thirsty anymore. Honestly, it's like 70% game, 20% looks, 10% genuineness.

[–]RandomReeditUser0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you're underestimating the scale in terms of looks. If you're ugly to a certain degree it won't matter how much you improve game. "Improving yourself" works, but likely for the people who are at or above a 5/6 already.

The saying goes you can polish a turd but it's still a turd. Can't approach if you get turned down purely on looks.

I'm a huge advocate for self improvement, but there are many permanently below the "you're screwed line".

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Watch any of those shows where gay guys do makeovers on dudes... your fashion and the way you carry yourself can make you look much better than you should. Not to mention if you get fit too. Girls will sleep with you just for access to the 6 pack.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

By definition most people can't.

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, which is why I said don't be average

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Again, not everyone can do that. That's what average means.

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right, 50% of people will be average or below... don't be the bottom 50%.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Or don't be in the US. But being average in the US means being below average in most other places of the first world.

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sure, the defeatist view will guaranteed getting laid am i right? You never know, I know a chick that occasionally gives out pity fucks. Definitely a girl that has options too. She just likes sex.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Giving pity fucks is not exactly liking sex.

That was more in line of "become European average" advice. I don't know where you have found defeatism there.

[–]Moldy_GeckoPurple Pill Man-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't say become average. I said don't be average. Implying to better yourself than the average guy. It's not hard, the bar to being average in America is set pretty low. Shit, just don't be fat and you're above average.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the bar to being average in America is set pretty low.

That's what I meant. European average is above American average.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The male to female ratio plus the intentions of the female users leads to an unnecessary intense competition. You might be ok with that but not everyone else.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy Link

Online dating doesn't work out for most guys. There's a number of studies and articles, not just the OKCupid one. Google them.

[–]flyinghorse1-1 points0 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Online dating like POF and okcupid are dead - we're all using tinder and bumble and hinge these days. Its super easy and people are pretty chill.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy Link

Oh I tried most of the apps. Got some matches on tinder, a few on bumble. Hinge is 100% nerd unfriendly (unless you're an artsy nerd).
Almost got a few dates even. But I have nothing in common with 99% of the women I meet there.
Plus I'm 60 lbs overweight and quite out of shape.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

60 lbs overweight

would not be considered

quite out of shape

where I live. It would be considered very out of shape.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy Link

I used to be more in shape but sedentarism... :(

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Unless you are a small woman you don't need to go that low

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

Well my ideal weight would be 145lbs given I'm 5'11. The problem is a lot of that extra weight is visceral fat.

Maybe not as low as 1300 but definitely 1600. Sometimes I eat so much that I feel sick without realizing it.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Online dating doesn't work out for most guys

Plus I'm 60 lbs overweight and quite out of shape.

Why do guys like you try to validate their situation by making generalizations about "most guys"?

Does it make you feel less bad about yourself if you think the average guy is suffering too and it's hopeless, instead of thinking that you need to lose 60 lbs and take action to do it?

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because OLD does not work for most guys. With or without fatasses who only make up 20% of men on OLD.

One of the players I know is 75 lbs overweight but he used to be good looking so his FB is FULL of pics of him with women. So he still fucks around with women who are married or in relationships due to previous validation.

The average guy IS having problems dating online. I know because I asked plenty average guys. For every 50 to 70 matches they get a number. And they get a date with less than 1% of their total matches.

The bulk of men who regularly go on dates off of OLD are the top 22%.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh God don't get them started.

[–]QueenCousland8611 points12 points  (67 children) | Copy Link

Y'all have no goddamn sense. It is not, and never has been, DON'T APPROACH EVER. But you need to use your common sense. Is she on public transit, reading a book or wearing headphones? Leave her alone. On the street? Leave her alone. You get more leeway in traditionally social settings like coffee shops and bars and shit. But the MOST IMPORTANT THING- accept no for an answer.

[–]Mr_SmoogsThe 2nd most obnoxious poster here4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I’ve dated girls I’ve met on public transit. Just respond to her IOIs. Women do ask for it, just gotta learn to ascertain when that is.

[–]QueenCousland866 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Eye contact, smiles, hair flipping, all that cliche shit.

[–]Mr_SmoogsThe 2nd most obnoxious poster here5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Saying “UwU” too

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

LOL if she's saying UwU in real life, run for the fuckin' hills!

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And if she wears some kind of furry-cultured clothes?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What is that?

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mostly furry speak.

[–]webernicke4 points5 points  (52 children) | Copy Link

It is not, and never has been, DON'T APPROACH EVER. But you need to use your common sense.

I.e. there are no hard and fast rules just shut up and swallow it when this particular girl decides to creep shame you.

All that shit you listed literally changes wildly from individual woman to individual woman, but I guess AWALT is only wrong when men are the ones saying it.

[–]QueenCousland868 points9 points  (51 children) | Copy Link

Before you get salty, read the last part again. Because a polite "hey how ya doing" is one thing, a guy who will not fuck off once it's been made clear she's not into it is entirely another. If she's giving you nothing to work with, not IOIs, cut your losses and bail. It is not that complicated.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere5 points6 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

What if no woman is into you and you just keep accepting no's until you've been rejected by every woman in your social environment?

[–]QueenCousland8610 points11 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Then expand your social environment? Take up a new hobby, vacation in a new place, go someplace you've never been before. But in reality, it's exactly like I said. The woman who is giving you nothing to work with, zero interest, just leave her alone. Don't be obnoxious, take the L and move on. You want to avoid getting #metood? I just gave you the secret formula.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I mean, I've approached and been rejected 50+ times without one successful approach so I'm not afraid of getting #metood. I've only been successful asking fat chicks to fuck on tinder. Anything I try in person doesn't work.

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

How much of the work focused on JUST YOU have you done? Some of the more angry types in here hate this advice, but the fact of the matter is, the more you develop yourself for the sake of nobody but yourself, the more interesting you become. What are your passions? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What makes your life worth living besides getting laid? Because that's the key to everything.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I lift weights, play guitar, thinking about becoming good at armwrestling because I wanna be like this to people. I think it would be fulfilling after some hard work to hold guys like this. The problem is that I trust in my abilities to do just about everything else except for girls. I know if I put my mind to something, I can do it. I can do just about everything except girls.

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The problem is get girls. There's a stinky scent of desperation on that. I don't say that to be mean, obviously. I genuinely want everyone here to find a good, healthy relationship, if that's what they want. But anything you do in order to get girls comes across as performative, and that shit is gross.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel like I can't even put effort in without having this flawless zen mindset where I go after it yet I don't want it at the same time. It's because the stuff you said. Like I can't consciously perform for it. I have to some how unconsciously slip my way into it. It seems really annoying.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Guitar is a good hobby but lifting weights isn't really a passion that builds you as a person, it's just for the body and I think in this case your motivation is to get women. You need things that make you happy and fulfilled without the sole aim being tk get laid. Learn how to be single, love yourself, be someone You want to be around and spend time with and you'll find that a) you won't need women or the end goal of sex so much and b) that other people will be drawn to you too, including women.

Focus on your friends and building your confidence and self worth in a healthy way, focus more on having fun (like doing fun activities or potentially meeting an interesting person) from a date than on sex. Approach women in the genuine hope to just be friends with them. You need to be able to value them as more than sex partners and having a female friend can be really insightful. Plus she can introduce you to her friends etc. When you approach her go for what she seems like as a person, if you think you'll click, dont factor looks in.

Just cold approaching girls is a strategy that is really unlikely to work. And the people it works on are people who dont NEED the women, they already have fulfilling lives, but they have the confidence to ask anyway, they take a genuine interest in her as a person (not just as a potential sex partner and anyone with a vagina would do), and if she says no or shows a sign she's not interested, they walk away.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My motivation for lifting weights is not to get women. It's to be stronger. I'm okay with myself enough to accept my current state, but that doesn't mean I trust it to just allow me to drown in pussy through radical acceptance and not approaching at all.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

People don't like this advice because it never works. "develop yourself for the sake of nobody but yourself" is a polite way of saying "fuck off and except being lonely". Now I do support focusing on yourself but you might be invisible to many people if you do.

[–]QueenCousland861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You might be invisible to LOW QUALITY people. You looking for wife material? You looking for a ride-or-die bitch you can share a life with? Then get your shit together. She's not interested in being your mom, too bad so sad. There's not a healthy, intelligent, independent woman on Earth who wants to fix you.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Exactly this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Then you obviously need to change your approach

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Idk what to change.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I can't help you there, chat to successful guys and ask them where you're going wrong.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most successful guys probably don't even know what they're doing. They're probably just good looking and don't screw things up.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's life. It's tough shit but learning how to live alone will only help you in the long run.
Or maybe find other people with common hobbies over meetups, maybe you can make friends or even find someone there, who knows?

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel pretty comfortable being alone, but I'm just frustrated and want to do this thing that's been my goal for a while now. Any other thing in life would be an easier task for me.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Then try and change something about yourself. Why would you want to be with someone who had to settle for you anyway?

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Idk what to change.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is there nothing you aspire to be good at or nothing you dislike about yourself?

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

Go whine on the incels sub

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This let them eat cake attitude towards unsuccessful men who actually try is downright disgusting.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's an attitude towards unsuccessful men who choose to whine instead of choosing a better mindset. You can't control your success or your genes, but the one thing you can choose is what you say about it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

But you're throwing this at men who actually do try.

[–]RadChadswell 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

No, at the men who whine about their failures, not the men who try and continually improve and persevere with a positive attitude without whining

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah trying to express you frustrations is "whining".

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I still approach women so I'm not a complete quitter. I can't get laid by anything other than fat women and prostitutes at the moment, but I'll keep trying. I'll still complain about not being able to figure out whatever the fuck it is that's holding me back.

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're trying, that's more than a lot of guys can say.

[–]webernicke2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Because a polite "hey how ya doing" is one thing, a guy who will not fuck off once it's been made clear she's not into it is entirely another.

Agreed. In which case, "remember to be polite" is all that needs to be said instead of how a lot of people (yourself included) present lists of off-limits situations as some kind of common sense standard that all women agree upon.

[–]QueenCousland867 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Those are fairly common sense tho. You probably won't like this comparison, but bare with me for a minute, okay? Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you're IRRESISTIBLE to salespeople. Everywhere you go, everything you do, someone's trying to sell you some shit. And some of it is quality merchandise, some is garbage. Now imagine these people invading your day to day routine. Trying to poop? Facebook message trying to sell you shit. Trying to get to work? Salespeople on the train, interrupting your train of thought. Wouldn't that be obnoxious?

[–]webernicke8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Tbf, I don't have to imagine that. You've basically described typical life in a capitalistic society lol. Can't watch YouTube anymore for two goddamn minutes without Grammerly or Netflix or some shit trying to take my money. And yeah, it can be annoying but compaines need to make money in order for us to perpetuate our little consumerist paradise here and, hell, I actually want to know about and purchase a lot of that shit. And since ad companies, try as they might, aren't actual mindreaders, I consider it an acceptable evil that I sometimes have to watch an ad that's personally inconvenient for me.

Same shit in the SMP. Women want men to approach them and to be swept off thier feet and all that. Men, are most likely going to have to buck up and do the approaching if they ever want to have any luck with women, and men aren't mindreaders sooo....sometimes people are gonna fuck up and ask you when you'd rather not, or people miss the hint, or the guy you don't want is going to have completely misplaced confidence while the guy you do want misses all the IOIs youre throwing, or what works on other girls doesn't work on you and vice versa. It's unavoidably going to be a messy process, but it's the price that has to be paid.

What gets me is that women act like it should be this completely sterile, effortless, obvious thing and bitch and moan and write articles at the slightest inconvenience, about how men should just know when it's the right time and place and when it's the wrong time and place (even though 5 minutes ago that chick over there just said the exact opposite of what you're saying now.) All from the comfort of generally not being the ones that need to initiate, I might add.

And when men are trying so hard to accommodate and validate and listen to y'all (like women say we need to do so much more) to the point that we basically become paralyzed out of fear of possibly offending anybody, then you have the stones to bitch at us some more about how we're all timid, spineless manchildren nowadays and creepy spergy incels who don't even have the common sense to know that a brunette with one earbud in on the train on a Friday after 2PM looking in your general direction is an obvious green light. (But clearly the blonde on Sat morning at the grocery check out is off limits, why would you even try that, you retard?)

[–]QueenCousland862 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Here's the thing, my primary gripe with AWALT and AMALT and everything like it- humans are individuals, male and female alike. The A doesn't stand for all, it stands for average. What needs to happen, in almost all of these cases, is a friend of the opposite sex, who you trust and has no interest in coddling your sense of self and your ego. And women, that terrifying monolith, don't want a mind reader, they want someone who can take a fuckin' hint. A good rule of thumb is this- if another man treated you this way in the confines of a prison, with no means of escape or retaliation, would you be comfortable? If not, don't fuckin' do that.

[–]webernicke2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And women, that terrifying monolith, don't want a mind reader, they want someone who can take a fuckin' hint. A good rule of thumb is this- if another man treated you this way in the confines of a prison, with no means of escape or retaliation, would you be comfortable? If not, don't fuckin' do that.

The entire saga of Louis CK is a very, very good example of how trying to take hints and go by rules of thumb can completely fuck you up.

It is not always easy or obvious or something that can be neatly encapsulated into a soundbite. It almost always takes a good deal of trial and error to get a handle on it. The problem is that everyone likes to pretend that's it's so cut and dried and rake men over the coals when they fuck up.

[–]QueenCousland863 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It still falls within the rules. Assume a guy three or four times you size corners you in prison and starts whacking his meat while making deep eye contact. Do you want to be in that scenario?

[–]webernicke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

Also, I wouldn't ever want a 300 lb dude in prison to tell me I'm attractive and ask me on a date, so by this rule of thumb, I've disqualified asking women out, eentirely.

But, I'll humor you. Assuming I was open to dating male 300-lb prison inmates, I would not be automatically upset it I were approached for a date on the subway, or the grocery store, or at the gym or while wearing earbuds. If anything, I'd probably be flattered as long as he's not, like menacingly brandishing a switchblade or something. Barring extreme situations, (something like peeking over my bathroom stall to hit on me or trying to get my KiK at my mom's funeral or some shit,) I would be perfectly okay with a lot of the common scenarios women complain about, like while commuting, at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the grocery, at the library, while browsing my phone etc. In fact, I have been hit on by women in some of those scenarios and always came away with a pretty satisfying ego boost.

The rule of thumb falls apart in a lot of situations outside of overt threats. Take it too strictly and you're paralyzed from doing anything. Take it liberally, and you're doing all kinds of things that I'd be happy with from a male perspective but women might not appreciate. Case in point, this kind of misguided empathy is the exact reason women get unsolicited dick pics.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ads have an entirely different problem. I almost always get ads for things I already bought. And when I don't it's that fucking garbage GoT browser game.

[–]webernicke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They dare to advertise that game after s8. They've got cajones, I'll give em that.

[–]circlhat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

then you have the stones to bitch at us some more about how we're all timid, spineless manchildren nowadays and creepy spergy incels who don't even have the common sense to know that a brunette with one earbud in on the train on a Friday after 2PM looking in your general direction is an obvious green light.

I doubt this happens, but once again society attacks men for having rational fears, this type of degrading is what men have a issue with, rarely do they get , go for it, think positive, except from PUA.

But a list of rules, that aren't really rules.

But clearly the blonde on Sat morning at the grocery check out is off limits, why would you even try that, you retard?

I had women hit on me while they were working, Once again a arbitrary list of rules being presented

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

God I hate salespeople lol

[–]QueenCousland861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'd hate me extra then, I'm a salesperson and I'm VERY good at what I do. 😂

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. This is the difference between a compliment and being a creep. Learn to take the no.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some men can't do that, they get mad they made the effort and a lowly woman who is not a model didn't appreciate them.

[–]circlhat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

These are not hard fast rules, and sort your talking out your ass, men use common sense, and do well, but these men get unfairly demonized. I seen guys offer a girl a ride in their car, and it work, reading a book, or public transit is fine.

In short men have good reason to be skeptical

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

On the street? Leave her alone.

Only if she is in a hurry.

[–]AeternusDoleo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Don't approach ever! Grr!"

10 years later...

"Where have all the good men gone? Why am I still single?"

All kidding aside. If you can't make an approach there's not going to be anything forming at all. In this 24/7 society, for those who have a fulltime job, public transit or being on the road/shopping is often the only place where you even get a decent bit of interaction with strangers. Suppose if that time gets gobbled up by updating social media status every minute or so, then yea, it's no bloody surprise that everyone ends up being single. With this attitude you don't even get shot down - you omit every attempt.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah guys, you understand? You need to have the balls to approach but WE impose the rules!

You need to approach us only in settings where you're under heavy competition and filtered out otherwise.

To approach, you need not be inhibited, but for all these reasons I listed, you need to be inhibited.

And eventually, if you're unattractive and rejected, your approach is always deemed wrong and creepy. If you're successful, your approach is never deemed wrong or creepy.

This is because of all these contradictions that some men choose to not care and some others think they can never approach.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill18 points19 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

What are you even talking about? Men approach women all the time. YOU might not, but plenty of others do. I’m an old frumpy lady and it still happens.

[–]istira_balegina5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly. Because the men approaching you are from an older generation with different mores.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The men who approach my daughter are around her age, 25 or so. And it happens quite a bit, including in front of me.

[–]LeftHookTKD3 points4 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

Most do not. Especially the younger generations.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Any cute girl will tell you they do.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Just because it happens doesn't mean men are approaching less than ever. Most younger people these days just use online dating. My entire friend group is basically all college athletes/athletic guys (i'm 21) and I don't think any of them approach on the regular. All of them just use tinder. I'd imagine the average guy who is out of shape and lacks confidence is going to approach even less. Not to mention there was a study posted here recently that showed younger generations are having less sex than ever before.

[–]skystar860 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Many people have less sex by choice because porn gets them off easier IMO. Why try when you can have the pornstar or the Instagram girl who gets choked on camera?

[–]LeftHookTKD1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Many people have less sex by choice because porn

I do think porn is an issue for many younger guys, but I guarantee most of these guys rather have actual sex than porn. Porn is just what they resort to due to being sexually starved and they end up getting addicted.

[–]skystar86-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In real life though they can't get sex with Instagram Stacy. They settle for what they see as the next best thing.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I obviously can't speak for every guy but I don't think thats true just based on my personal experience. I personally find "normal" girls more attractive than the instagram unrealistic looking girls. But I still don't cold approach regularly. And wouldn't this issue affect women as well? Seeing perfect guys on instagram would make them not want more realistic looking men by your logic.

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not in my experience.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Where do you get approached and how and by whom?

[–]skystar861 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I think it's because they have Instagram standards and think they're too good for the average woman.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

No, it's because it's looked down upon if you do it and end up looking like a creep. It's not the "norm."

[–]skystar860 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

If you're an incel you're already not the "norm" so you have nothing to lose. Since when would someone at the bottom of the social hierarchy care about what's normal?

[–]LeftHookTKD2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Why are you bringing up incels here?

  1. No one mentioned incels. I'm talking about normal guys.

  2. Incel just means virgin. There are many young virgin guys out there who are normal.

  3. Even these guys at the "bottom of the social hierarchy" don't want to be socially shamed. Theyre virgins, not subhumans with no emotions.

[–]skystar86-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Most of the people at the bottom of the hierarchy are used to being socially shamed to the point it's a background thing. From a logical cost/benefit analysis if I were a guy I'd figure gaining what I want and later getting praise would be worth temporary social shame.

[–]LeftHookTKD 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most of the people at the bottom of the hierarchy are used to being socially shamed to the point it's a background thing

I've never seen an incel shamed in public for being an incel. It literally just means virgin and most guys do not self identify as incels. Where are you seeing all this shaming in real life? You can be a virgin man or woman and still have a normal social life. I'm not sure why you think being a virgin automatically makes you some low life scum in real life.

I'd figure gaining what I want and later getting praise would be worth temporary social shame.

Yeah it doesn't work like that. If you're constantly approaching and getting rejected/shamed you're just going to develop the reputation of a creep which will hurt your chances even more and this is what most guys are worried about.

I'm not an incel nor am I extremely unattractive person. I'm tall, in good shape, etc and I will never cold approach a girl unless she gives me interest signals before hand. Pretty much all of the guys in my friend group do the same. I'd imagine the average out of shape guy is the same or worse.

[–]Barneysparky-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Incel doesn't mean virgin.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What does it mean then

[–]Barneysparky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It means a person whose not having sexual involuntarily.

Involuntarily celibate = Incel.

I'm glad someone asked but perplexed that people didn't know.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

i get approached multiple times a week by guys as young as 14 lol

[–]LeftHookTKD2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Weird how all the reddit women claim they get approached every day yet all of the girls I've talked to in my age group (18-24) claims they rarely get approached. I'm not talking about being approached in a bar or club btw.

I'm curious, how old are you? Where do you get approached? What do they say?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

im 28 and guys approach me on the subway, walking down the street, when i'm shopping, at the gym, when i'm eating.

[–]LeftHookTKD0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Average age of the guy approaching?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

early 20s probably

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do they think you're their age?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What if they're late 20s and you think they're early 20s like they think you're early 20s instead of late 20s because the differences are small to nonexistent for most people? :V

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got catcalled last week by some kids who are half my height, beat that!

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

the question is about women who complain of not being approached much, not about men who do not approach much.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women who do not get approached are usually fat, homely, or have a bad case of resting bitch face aka do not look approachable.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

dont you think the modern morals even lowers their chances of getting approached? back then most people found their soul mate at their job, now that's easily labeled as harassement, typically it will hurt this type of woman.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women still get approached at their jobs. My daughter met her boyfriend at work. Neither of them were charged with sexual harassment because they actually liked each other. If he had approached and she said “no” and he kept pushing or acted like a jerk about it, it may have ended differently. If she seems interested, you can see if she wants to go for a coffee break or lunch, or happy hour after work. If she says no, you say “maybe another time” and drop it. Keep it light, casual, work appropriate at first. None of this works if you are her supervisor or she is yours of course.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

because they actually liked each other

Who would have thought everything goes well when both are attracted?

If he had approached and she said “no” and he kept pushing or acted like a jerk about it, it may have ended differently.

Who said there needs to be insistence for a woman to feel harassed? Haven't you see the holywood notes about how people shouldn't look at each other more than 5 seconds?

I personally never had an issue with telling when it's dead or when it's open, however, approaching is always blind, people talk about IOI, but for most men they must try without IOIs, that's where shit happens. Some other time some men are just nuisible in the eyes of women even if they don't do anything.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

There's approaching a woman, and there's approaching a woman, and you do need some social skills to be able to tell the difference. Looming over a woman and incessantly bugging her while she's on her way to work is probably not going to be as welcome as flirting with a girl at happy hour with her friends.

This is one of those things where you just need to understand nuance and context, and even if you do you'll still fuck it up sometimes and you need to be ok with that. I feel like you guys are looking for a foolproof formula dictating under what circumstances your attention is going to result in sex, and it just doesn't work that way.

The bigger question is, why are you so concerned with analysing what women are saying about what they want? If you see men approaching women and getting what they want out of it, what does it matter? Yes you'll get turned down sometimes and yes some women will get annoyed and complain about you to their friends, but so fucking what? Just do it until it works.

[–]webernicke5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The bigger question is, why are you so concerned with analysing what women are saying about what they want? If you see men approaching women and getting what they want out of it, what does it matter?

Because sometimes young men have been indoctrinated into seeking female approval as a validation of thier own self worth.

I feel like everyone kind of knows this problem is festering deep down in our culture and it's the elephant in the room of all the handwringing about why young men have been failing in recent years. That the raison d'etre for a lot of young men is female validation, (which many will never get in any substantial way thanks to the fact that women seem to despise desperation and mediocrity) and if they struggle to find it, spiral into a pit of mental illness, underachievement, and isolation.

Except snapping men out of this mindset is a pretty clear matter of getting them into the attitude of "fuck what women think," which is unfortunately a big no-no in our feminist dominated gender discourse. So that thought process kind of just short circuits.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Just do it until it works.

Idk if it will ever work for me, but at least I keep trying. All this "women will instantly report you for sexual harassment if you approach" is bullshit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is it? I mean, now women will literally report rapey men so a lot of guys’ shitty tactics are out the window. You think it’s bs because you’re a normal not -creepy guy.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will admit that I've been close to getting in trouble, but only because I stepped over the line sometimes influenced by TRP. I'm not going to try anything too crazy now. I'm pretty good at talking my way out of trouble, just not good at talking my way into pants. lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yup

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I could at least be a low-budget PUA because I can get girls numbers. I can wow all the incels with the woman's number that leads nowhere.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just do it until it works you get arrested and fined.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train15 points16 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

JFC, learn some goddamn social skills. This redundant “I’m too scared to approach women and I’m gonna blame it all on them” shitposting is SO. Fucking. Tired.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

JFC, learn some goddamn social skills.

On the same token, these reddit feminists need to learn some goddamn social skills and learn to reject guys like every other girl..

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great. Why don’t you all go be annoying together and get the fuck out of our hair?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How about no.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

What? How exactly do you reccomend rejecting a guy?

I'm serious.

Say you're walking down the street with headphones on and thjs guy approaches you. How do you reject him?

"Hey cutie, what's your name? Where you going? Dyou have a boyfriend?"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Politely tell him that you're not interested. If he accepts that good. If not, then you have the right to call it harassment.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

That IS exactly what we are calling harassment. We reject them and they go crazy. We're not calling people asking us out harassment, we're calling the people following us down the street, yelling at us when we ignore them, or when we tell them outright no, harassment.

Thats literally what is happening multiple times a day sometimes, and they get persistent and often aggressive and offended.

So we're telling people via the Internet that this is happening all the time and they're acting like we're lying, complaining about nothing, and saying we just need better social skills. "we cant even talk to women now", as if we are "crying" about nothing.

Like THAT'S exactly what we're calling out. When they persist and get aggressive AFTER we've said no.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nobody would disagree with that, But they would disagree when feminist consider the very notion of a guy asking a woman in public as harassment.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We don't think that, but there is reading the room you know?

[–]circlhat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I doubt it's social skills, it's more in the sense men don't want to offend, a rational fear, but they get attacked, no men blames women for anything, they just point out double standards

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

i’ve got social skills, im too scared to approach women but i still don’t blame them. how about that

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What about it? You’re not OP right?

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ-1 points0 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Don't you realize women's message regarding approach is filled with lot of contradictions? Somewhere this is men's fault because they even cared a single second what women think or say, but laws are starting to follow women's contradictory logic....

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What contradictory logic?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

There are no laws that say men can’t approach women.

Spare us.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

"can't approach women", no, but "punish men for a woman feeling harassed", yes.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Give men one example of a law that specifically “punishes men for a woman feeling harassed.”

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

In france you can now get finned 750€ for street sexual harassment and catcalling, this law appeared after #MeToo.

I don't know how this law can be applied TBH, you can't prove any of it unless a police officer was here. So either it's never applied, either it's all about a woman's words, no matter if it really was street sexual harassment or catcalling or not.

It's probably going to be just here to demotivate the catcallers, but it still shows that women's feelings and outrage influence laws and society. We also had cities with specific laws against manspreading...

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how this law can be applied TBH, you can't prove any of it unless a police officer was here. So either it's never applied, either it's all about a woman's words, no matter if it really was street sexual harassment or catcalling or not.

You seem to be contradicting what you just said.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

How?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

you just admitted the law can’t be enforced with out corroboration. which leads me to wonder whether you’re really interpreting it correctly.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm not really aware of what police officers can do or cannot do for such things. French justice system is "innocent until proven guilty" like anywhere else in a justice court, but lot of things still boil down to police officer's appreciation, that's why feminists try to push more education of police officers and why you get stuff like #BelieveAllWomen. Again more things feminists do that influence society.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

The attitude of women that men who don't look like Brad Pitt and aren't over 5'9" should "know their place".

The fact that men are punished if they use their traditional evolutionary ways of locking down a partner and that makes women feel uncomfortable (#metoo).

Men being seen as potential kiddie diddlers if they DO approach a single mom (unless they guy is hot, then nobody cares even IF he's one - until it's too late).

Now, we all know that according to Reddit feminist women, there is a near unanimous opinion that approaching women is unwelcome, unwanted, leave us alone, harassment, etc. I know. We know.

FTFY. Even women outside reddit feel creeped out when approached by the average guy.

This one particular set of women, they do know this right?

They don't care. Women love to gossip and complain, it's something built-in the human psyche.
These women don't actually WANT the companionship of a guy (unless he's a 6'+ tall banker Chad) they just find a common source of frustration and complain about it.

Men do this too in MGTOW forums which is why some people see MGTOW as "bitch-think".

Cause, traditionally, if you're a young guy in his 20s, going to the gym, getting in shape, then going outside to socialize is your best bet at finding a woman.

Now if you're a guy past his 30s... it's the same situation post wall single moms find themselves in.
Nobody wants you for a LTR.
Post wall women are only desired for STR flings and sex.
And post wall men are only desired for carrying capacity and beta bucks donations.

[–]C0dey0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

A mans wall is 50,not thirty. We get better looking until we hit 50, then we drop like stones. Amusing you think men are screwed at 30 though, lol.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

Well a lot of men are screwed at 30 something in terms of looks. Thankfully there are a lot of single moms desperate to be swindled with beta bucks game for men who're OK with the drama.

[–]C0dey0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

To be fair, any man screwed for looks at 30,already had a prob with looks before then.

Look up RSD Tyler Durden. The guy is a somewhat short, ginger pushing 40,yet has no problem picking up 20 something woman.

Woman only think 20% of all men are attractive, any other type attraction is gained through conversation due to their sexuality being more mental than physical. You don't even need to be rich(Tyler has a vid on this too, where he picks up more young woman than a tall millionaire), but make up for it in other ways(Tyler in particular promotes being funny, which can be just as effective as being tall, or powerful, depending on how funny you are, he in particular has made women nearly wet themselves laughing so hard).

You need to get rid of this "only desperate single Moms want 30 some year old betabux" mentality pal, it's sabatoging you

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Women don't really dig nerd jokes nor stories about how I was bullied, mugged or sexually assaulted as a guy.

And other than that my life's generally quite boring. Even on the professional side it's not like my achievements as a coder compare to say John Carmack. Or even Douglas Crockford for that matter.

[–]C0dey0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women don't really dig nerd jokes nor self.deprecating funny stories about how I was bullied, mugged or sexually assaulted as a guy.

Why would you tell those types of jokes in the first place? Watch his videos.

You're problem is self esteem. I can feel it from here, but by the sounds of it you know this. Still, I suggest looking up RSD Tyler Durden. His advice might be more beneficial than you think. You don't need super achievements or the like, especially since most people have never heard of "John Carmack, or "Douglas Crockford", chances are you'll be the first coder they ever met, so you can talk it up with confidence while not outright lying about what you do.

It's good that you recognize your problem however, and realize you need to fix them. You're on the right track, so keep your chin up.

[–]vosidit98 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't tell those type of jokes anymore. Did it a few times when I was younger, but learned it wasn't the way to go, obviously.

Also learned there was no way to go. You're either desirable or you're not. It's not exclusively all about your height, or exclusively about looks.

Whether your personality fits your looks is another thing that's very important.

Obviously this can be corrected for by being famous and having lots of money. But women will give you a shot only because of your fame and money.

And this ain't the 90s anymore, in many fields women OUTEARN men, so you need to have A LOT MORE money and fame than you needed 15 years ago.

[–]C0dey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your ignorance is astounding. I prove what I said by citing someone who isn't rich, and is pushing 40,yet you still cling to this demonstrably false mind-set that you need to be rich because of what some retard said on the internet.

Watch his videos. https://youtu.be/nZ1q07WHuOs

It took decades for him to get where he is at too. Now what's your excuse? Something stupid and easily demonstratably false? If so, then that's your problem.

As for autistic remarks? https://youtu.be/r1KOfj6y7FM

If you reply with another "all hope is lost unless you're rich" whiney bullshit again then you'll more or less be telling me you don't actually want to change.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it possible that the women writing these articles are less approachable, uglier, or moving in different social circles than the women complaining on reddit?

[–]HossMcDankEdgy Centrist1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The problem is that women in general cannot control the behavior of psychotic misandrists (otherwise known as "feminists") any more than men can control the very small minority of us that become rapists, harassers, etc. No one can reasonably be held responsible for policing others with whom they share largely superficial demographic characteristics.

Reddit (not unlike the internet in general) is full of deeply insecure, embittered individuals who project their self-loathing onto the opposite sex. It is the inclination of a certain type of person to spend significant amounts of time on gender-oriented online discussion boards. To take such people as the norm in everyday society will lead to very warped interactions with the real world.

[–]AeternusDoleo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not so sure this is the case. The millenial and subsequent generations (X and Z) seem to not be pairing and marrying all that much anymore. Families aren't forming. I got a sneaky suspicion that the Japanese scenario is unfolding across the entire westernized world. Suppose it's a good thing, a crashing birthrate means less people means less ecological pressure from consumption. But the onesided shredding of what used to be the human courtship ritual is leaving a lot of folk on both sides of the gender divide confused.

[–]Bayard203 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's important to note they only want Chad to approach. Other men don't count in this instance... or any instance really.

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude nah women don't care about looks that much

[–]Bayard206 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is that sarcasm? Tell me that's sarcasm.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To someone who is good looking, surrounded by good looking men, like chad and his football team mates, this is what it looks like: women don't care about looks that much once the prerequisites are met

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lol women who don't get approached know the reason is because they're unattractive and not whatever feminist bs reason you seem to think it is

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

All the women I know who complained about not being approached actually were approached, but not by the right ones, not enough to be able to have options.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This. Every woman I've known who was single and "can't meet the right guy" was actually approached by many once I questioned her. Even unattractive women get approached by unattractive men. These women are making a conscious choice that being single is preferable to them than trying to be attracted to a man who is unattractive to them.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

These women are making a conscious choice that being single is preferable to them than trying to be attracted to a man who is unattractive to them.

And that would be fine if they simply admitted it, instead they make it sound like even the ugly and average men don't want them.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stop being a fucking pussy. I may not get anything from my approaches, but I've never gotten in trouble for talking to a woman. I've been rejected by 50+ maybe even 100 women. Just fucking do it if you want to do it. If you don't, don't expect to get laid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a man 🥰

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The people who say "hurr durr just approach women it's easy" live in fucking bubbles. Imagine being bombarded with propaganda and hysteria that women are in danger of predatory men and the best a "good man" can do is learn the feminist approved rules of engagement at least according to some unhinged radfem. A lot of guys take things literal and face value especially when these feminist approved rules of engagement don't bother to offer nuance and how men can "tell the difference" as you guys so like to say. Thus the confusion.

[–]katrplr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes I realize they are scared of coming off as a creep, but there are ways that won't be seen as creepy by women like me.

I don't think saying good morning and asking how I'm doing is creepy even if I am asked by a homeless mentally challenged gentleman I see often on my commute. What I think is creepy is when he follows me to my stop and then refuses to leave until I write down his number.

Compliments and polite greetings aren't creepy to me, even if it's from a guy I'm not into because looks really become irrelevant when you get to know a person and connect with them.

If a girl thinks you're a creep for saying good morning to her at a bus stop then you probably don't want to date her.

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[–]geyges🐇6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Women don't give a fuck, they'll always have dudes lining up with their dicks out whether they want them or not. Most of them have 0 appreciation for that because turning guys away is like washing dishes, its a chore for them.

Maybe men should get some self-respect, and stop chasing pussy around.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you should grow some balls, and not care about a stupid made up concept called "self-respect" and do whatever you wanna do. Just go out there and talk to girls.

[–]geyges🐇7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

stupid made up concept called "self-respect"

Thank you, I needed a good laugh.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

There are betas out there wasting their time in the friend-zone, I've been there, but once you've been red pilled, you've got all you need in terms of self respect. You know all the ways you can get fucked over by women, and you will find it impossible to go there.

[–]geyges🐇1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

but once you've been red pilled, you've got all you need in terms of self respect

I think that's fairly accurate. Higher order ethical concepts that people were brainwashed with as children are discarded and replaced with rock solid basics of: THIS IS HOW TO GET SEX.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Not quite how it is for me because all the times I've gotten sex have been with fat chicks by asking them straight up and prostitutes, but I feel like the red pill gives you a good foundation to avoid getting fucked over. So far it hasn't helped me get laid.

[–]geyges🐇0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

red pill hasn't helped me get laid.

I am literally flabbergasted

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hehe. I mean, I never would have asked fat girls straight up to fuck before the red pill, so maybe it helped a little. I don't consider straight up asking to be a red pill concept though. I think I crammed so much PUA and red pill shit into my head that I didn't know where to begin and what to keep track of.

[–]geyges🐇2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think I crammed so much PUA and red pill shit into my head that I didn't know where to begin and what to keep track of.

Oh yeah, I trust that. I imagine we could have cured cancer by now if you crammed your head with biology, chemistry, and physics instead.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

oh no, a man read some dumb whores no one cares about complaining in womens magazines

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

lol I decided to start reading the first one and the minute it pivoted to men being "afraid to take what they want" because they have "too big of an ego" to approach a "real woman" my eyes rolled back and fell out of my ears.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why are men reading these things

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You tempted me. Now I'm reading all her newest things such as "why some women are better off without a relationship" and all about various ways of using crystals to attract men.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lolol

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Video game nerds are afraid to approach women and use the lunatic Fringe as an excuse for it. News at 11.

[–]mandoa_sky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i approach anyone and everyone depending on the social context. i work at a booth so i get paid to do it.

[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look if you follow rules one and two you're going to be happy as either sex, and if not, not.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know it’s tough to put yourself out there and approach women. I appreciate that it’s gutsy. I empathize and don’t want you to stop approaching women at all. I admire anyone who puts themself out there, for any reason. So, even when you’re not for me, I’m nice and polite.

Like most women who’ve commented here, I’m approached by men regularly. I have zero problem with it.

What I have a problem with is men not taking the hint and making me uncomfortable, forcing me to either suffer with a smile (I usually do this when I feel true pity for the guy) or to actually just get rude, which makes me feel bad.

[–]Zuck7980Purple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me as a man, I don’t feel comfortable going to women and talking to them in a bar or something like that. Do I lack confidence ? NO! Just seeing nowadays that women are falsely accusing men of rape and other horrifying things just because they have law on their side, makes the whole point of approaching woman useless. Tbh I’d rather match with some girl on Tinder and if she agrees, I’d go out with her so at least I know she wishes to go out with me.

But I guess the worse part about that is 33% of women choose to go out on a date because of free dinner. This just makes me sad!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

UGH

They're not saying they don't want to be approached, seduced, swept off their feet, etc.

They're saying they want to be swept off their feet, seduced, bought presents and meals etc. by Jason Momoa or some other similar very rich, extremely handsome, taller than six foot two with a rich deep voice type person.

Not the average dude, ew, ick.

So go look in the mirror. If you are being hounded for sex by incredibly thirsty women who want to lock you up before some other girl gets to you, GO APPROACH WOMEN. If you're a normal schlub or worse - one who is maybe five foot seven, has a higher voice, a strange cowlick and/or works a normal job that isn't glamorous or allows her to quit her job - you'd be harassing her by approaching.

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

im quite introverted, i don’t approach anyone out of the blue. i dont mind some casual chatter but i dont go out of my way for it. i prefer to go on with my day

quite often i get an obvious IOI. i smile back politely when it feels appropriate to do so, but i dont pursue it further. sometimes i get a sense of disappointment from a girl... as if she’s mad that she gave me a “free smile”... and im sorry for that. but if someone wants to talk to me and get to know me, guy or gal, you can come over and tell me so

maybe if i was interested in casual sex i would be more motivated to “approach strangers”

if this attitude of mine means i wont ever be in a romantic relationship with a woman ever again, so be it

[–]shonenhikada-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women want GOOD LOOKING (TOP 20% of males) to approach them OR high betas. Every other guy is considered genetic scum.

[–]FutureWestworld 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most women aren't attracted to most men.

Facts: Women are far pickier with looks than men are. With women you're either a 10 or invisible. Any man who isn't a 10 is "subhuman". Hell, any man who isn't 6' is subhuman to them. Especially when it comes to sex.

I've been"ugly" to women all my life. You think ugly women are clamoring over ME? LOL.

There are far more men looking for women than women looking for men.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

No incel content.

[–]FutureWestworld0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is "incel"?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. If you have any further questions please feel free to message modmail.

[–]we-are-men-with-ven-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have never responded well to being 'cold/warm aproached'. Literally none of my sexual encounters started like that. If a rando approaches me in public, I shut him down in seconds.

I don't even consider taking things into flirty territory until I am already engaged in the man on a friendly basis. (IE we've been talking for a while at a party).

This way at least I know that they're not just seeing me as just some object to fuck.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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