There are almost no family men defending the blue pill, because after having kids beta men experience exactly what the red pill predicts: scorn and rejection

[deleted] · 2019-07-13T15:22:20+00:00

OP, this has been up for eight hours and I have yet to see any indication that you are participating in good faith, i.e. that you are actually open to having your view changed, which is a requirement for CMV posts. I am locking this. Your OP would be better suited for MRP.

TheEnchantedHunters · 2019-07-13T14:53:12+00:00

LMAO

How about this explanation instead: the majority of men with normal family lives don't feel the need to join an online community centered around bitterness and victimhood

87AudreyHorne · 2019-07-13T08:01:03+00:00

I have no close experience with this topic but isnt a big part of this common issue the fact that having kids completely physically and mentally destroyes some women? I didnt even know much about it but after million horror stories ive heard and read, I feel like its the most logical explanation.

To add to it, it seems that life sucks after having kids too so i dont know what people expect really

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-13T12:16:30+00:00

Suck muh dick, bitch.

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-13T14:00:05+00:00

"Pick me" guy redpill style.

mandoa_sky · 2019-07-13T10:04:02+00:00

there are some women who have sex just because they want kids (see kate of "john and kate plus 8").

i work in childcare and it's exhausting. frankly, there's only so much energy a person is capable of having per day. I don't blame some new mothers from going off sex for a long period of time - young children are exhausting and very needy.

there's also mental issues like postpartum depression.

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-13T12:03:12+00:00

Based on the commentary here offered by the OP, he is a special kind of POS.

tylmin · 2019-07-13T08:24:22+00:00

It's for the same reason you don't see female TRP defenders with kids as much.

Kids are hard work and taking care of them sucks and is boring. I was more TRP, then I had kids and wished my husband would put in more work around the home so I could focus more on my career, now I'm more TBP. :).

It's not because of scorn and rejection, it's because sitting back and letting your wife take care of you, do all the housework and childcare, whilst you work your kush job, is more fun. (This does not apply to men with non-kush jobs, but for instance my husband gets up at 11am every day and only goes into the office a couple times a week, it's kush.)

It's a bit of a catch-22. TRP is hot sex and attraction, but then you start to hate them when you realise you've got the short end of the stick. Then when you have kids you really wish you had picked a TBP guy as you start to resent TRP one.

What women are attracted to and who they stay with are not 100% aligned. I know so, so, so many women who divorce soon after having kids because they believe their husband is just not pulling their weight.

decoy88 · 2019-07-13T10:33:40+00:00

I think sex education is poor when it comes to the after effects of childbirth. Or maybe many men just don’t pay attention when they are being warned.

wekacuck · 2019-07-13T11:57:08+00:00

Well I'm not sure the "blue pill" actually exists to be defended beyond criticism of "red pill" and it's methods. Red pill always completely dismisses guys who tell them that it's nothing more than good common sense with mandatory misogyny shoved in.

I do not see anywhere that "red pill" family men describe amazing or enviable sex lives or anything worth pursuing long term. What they describe is better than nothing, sure. But it just sounds like boring superficial things like "oh yeah I get a blowjob every morning and evening and she doesn't even want to cum!" or this obsession with novelty and repeating evopsych rationalizations about what men are supposed to want ad nauseum in a way that frankly looks like red pill are trying to convince themselves they're getting the best that's possible. Red pill guys somehow cannot escape sounding desperately miserable and demanding reassurance that nothing better exists.

The best red pill guys get is that it teaches growing up and not being a fucking loser manchild. That's not teaching pinnacle anything. Hands down the most compelling and enviable sex lives are described and taught in places that are militantly anti red pill.

But, you know. To each their own.

Hawanja · 2019-07-13T15:18:46+00:00

Jesus, you people are so full of shit.

As you get older into you middle age, sex matters less and less. The very fact that OP thinks this is still the dominant driving force behind a relationship for a middle aged man shows he has no clue what the hell he's talking about.

saphirekey · 2019-07-13T08:21:41+00:00

The woman's hormones are forever changed after having a kid. It takes some time for her body to recover, a little longer with a C-section. Depending on how child birth is like, things could go back to the way they were or they won't.

Post partum is one of the first things to look out for. It is shown in different ways for each mother, but it affects their lives completely.

Most women aren't looking for just a provider and half their DNA for an offspring. Some of the same techniques to get her in the mood will no longer work, especially if she is not willing to go through with child birth again. They won't want sex as often. If that makes a man experience the red pill, then he needs to sit down and talk with his partner.

planejane · 2019-07-13T11:47:08+00:00

So we see few blue pill defenders with children. The family men here are red pill, and they don’t have problems getting sex, love and respect from their wives.

A good chunk of this simply comes down to demographics. I'm sure someone can dig up the most recent sub survey, but IIRC the Reds here have a cluster of the very young along with more spread across the age spectrum while Blues cluster tightly at their twenties and early thirties.That could mean one of two things: men "redden up" as they get older, which would support your point if it was a random sample of the population instead of voluntary, or that we just don't have a vocal older population of Blue folks. And more of them are likely to be child-free. But we've got a few! Also keep in mind most older men with kids are RPlite at best. They're not the ones advocating for sexual slavery or reducing women in the workforce or repealing voting rights or anything.

But for the beta male, the experience is awful. The blue pill idea that a man can love and support his wife and get love, respect and sex back has been shattered. They know they get scorn and rejection, even if they try to rationalise it with “low libido” they can’t bring themselves to defend the blue pill. And how does “low libido” even explain the lack of effort and respect from their wife?

We do have several married bloops, and I've never gotten this impression from them.

As for the rest of it, I'm going to link an article from Psychology Today. It doesn't offer a study of its own but rather references a LOT of others which all suggest the opposite-having a daughter forces a guy to come to terms with the way women have to go through life, and as a result many of them end up becoming more progressive.

Birth order of children also plays a role.

TibetanWisdom · 2019-07-13T07:14:54+00:00

Some people handle stress differently. With newborns, sex drive may in fact plummet due to stress , lack of sleep, shift of priorities/time etc.

If the sex just stopped entirely after having kids then yeah, the beta should become redpilled, as his wife probably never truly loved him and just wanted to secure a provider.

Theres also a bias to the selection pool you are looking at. Certain people may gravitate to use this sub-reddit, and others may not

UTC24 · 2019-07-13T13:23:50+00:00

I just cannot relate to this dead bedroom thing. Isn't it men who are supposed to lose interest in their wives after fucking the same person a million times? This is what happened in all my relationships so far. I have to have a solo session after sex each time in order to feel fully released. What the fuck am I missing?

[deleted] · 2019-07-13T06:50:28+00:00

They dismiss the stories of the great sex life of alphas as lies and hyperbole.

At least some of them probably do believe alphas have great sex lives but think "having a better sex life isn't worth compromising muh ethics and being a meanyface"

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smokecheck1976 · 2019-07-13T13:15:31+00:00

No, there are blue-pilled guys that have been in these relationships and they listen to all of the myriad excuses, it's the kids, it's work, it's hormones, it's the house chores, sex just feels like someone else using her body or it's just another chore. The thing is these guys believe it and think if they can just mitigate a few things then maybe they will get the sex they used to get instead of a starfish staring at the ceiling just waiting for it to be over. The truth is that these guys are pussy whipped and she is using those excuses, and they are excuses, to keep him on a tight leash and under their thumb. Maybe the guy knows there is a problem, but he can't give up because he wants to be their for his children. Either way, he soldiers on because he must.

No one is more red pilled than someone that received it in suppository form. The wife that cut off sex and wielded it as a weapon before deciding she "wasn't happy" and launching the all out divorce assault with the help of the state is how you end up with someone thoroughly red pill. Even then it often doesn't take. A lot of divorced men remarry within two years, and it's probably mostly fear of being alone driving them. There are some though, that walk out of their familial home for the last time, turn and look as their entire lives burn to the ground and say, "I'm never doing this shit again." and mean every word of it.

Before the internet, most men probably lived lives where there wife had, for whatever reason, even if she didn't know, cut them off from sex. Sometimes they were even advised to by other women or even the church. The thing back then was that you only had your family or surrounding community to talk to about that problem, and admitting that you can't bed your wife to your best friend can be embarrassing. Now, men can get online and compare notes about dead bedrooms, scornful and outright hateful wives, and being raked over coals in divorce court simultaneously having your life destroyed and your future mortgaged to your ex-wife under court order while being deprived of the children that you were staying in the marriage for. Look at the marriage rates, more women want to marry, less men are willing to consider it. Now, women have created their utopia and only the most foolish of men still consider marriage given the lack of benefits, the downside risk, and strong likelihood of failure.

[deleted] · 2019-07-13T13:10:13+00:00

Some family men have a tacit understanding of the redpill. But some of the more liberal ones see it as their innate sexism rather than a truth.

vdau · 2019-07-13T13:09:16+00:00

Or you could just be a low-libido guy and be well-matched, or you open up your marriage if you’re high-libido, you can always masturbate with or without or wife, or if you’re kinky you can participate in solo sex or non-sexual fetish play. There are options if you can only think outside of the box to be sexually satisfied even when your wife is having challenges with her sex life or differences in lifestyle goals. This “blue pill to red pill” family man scenario applies only to guys who are committed to participate only in traditional relationships and sexual relationships and that to me is very sad. There’s better ways to live people!!