This is SUPER controversial in today’s “no means no” era. Let me start off with saying I have a borderline Aspergers mind. I love the saying “clear contracts, long friendships”. And I hate playing games. I like my relationships to run bluntly, straight to the point, and I take “no” literally usually, and I have no problems saying no myself.

But I was telling my wife a story of how I was visiting a new gym once, and two female powerlifters, working out as a team were taking the only two squat racks in the gym. I asked if I could work in to their sets politely. For the first time ever in my life, these girls said no. They were just starting and I know how long powerlifting workouts go and I certainly didn’t have time for that, and I certainly wasn’t letting my 20$ drop in fee go to waste (I was travelling) so on her first rest, I just started taking her plates off. When she protested, I said don’t worry, I will be done my set before your rest period is over. I was really only asking to be polite, but everyone realizes that nobody has the right to monopolize the squat rack for an hour, and every gym goes knows this, but the request is a polite formality.

She said to me “Maybe they thought you were trying to hit on them. Also, women like saying no to men. Sometimes just for the sake of it. Even if they don’t actually mean no. I did that myself just today.”

She tells me this again and again in sex as well. When I will complain that it has been too long since we have had sex, she will get just as frustrated as me, saying “no doesn’t always mean no you idiot! Sometimes I need you to just take me even though I say no, I am just testing how bad you want me!”

So I tried it. When we were done, she said “THAT’S my kink” I was like “you serious? I have been asking you for years if you had any kink or fantasy and you said no!” She was like “if I told you, it wouldn’t be hot that you did it, you would just be doing what I told you to do.”

I believe no means no. But my belief in that made me a subpar lover over the past year. Since that incident she has not been able to keep her hands off me. Telling me how much she loves my cock, groping me while I am driving, doing chores, bending over doing stuff poking her butt out saying “ well are you going to come molest my anus or not!?” Acting like she hasn’t acted this whole relationship.

I understand why some women are mad about ending up on the wrong side of this dynamic. But just like the villagers in the boy who cried wolf story, men are struggling to make sense of what women really want and mean because the way they communicate isn’t direct. It would be really nice if women only said no when they actually mean no, not when they mean “fuck yes, but only if you aren’t such a pussy that you take my no seriously”. Women please take note of this. You can help. I don’t like this way of doing things.