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There's a lot of discussion on here about people (usually women) acting sexually "wild" for a time being, and then "settling down." The implication is nigh-universally that the libertine party-persona is completely authentic, a true version of self, and that any subsequent chilling out is either,

a.) a repression of that authentic self to appear virtuous,

b.) the result of aging and physical wearing-out, or,

c.) the result of finding your romantic partner sexually uninteresting.

Purely going by my personal experience, this is leaving out a third possibility:

d.) the "gone wild" persona was not authentic, but an act (AKA, the inverse of b.))

In my experience, it's VERY common for people, especially when they're very young, to act more gregarious and "wild" than they actually are in order to fit in, to look cool, to emulate pop culture. It doesn't mean it's an authentic self, or even that they're particularly enjoying it. Same as listening to music you don't particularly enjoy because it's what's popular, or dressing in the way that's in style even if it doesn't aesthetically delight you. People get sick of the performance, is all. It's nothing personal. That's not to say you can't ask for such a performance--it's not wrong to ask a partner to indulge your kinks, it's just different from "demanding they reveal their authentic self."

What do you all think? Does this ring true? For those who believe in (and fear) this kind of settling down, what do you think of the idea that the wildness is inauthentic and performative? If magic glasses caused you to see that this were the case, would it change anything? If so, what?


[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

Well, that's a strange assumption to make because "going wild" is far more chaotic and requires a lot more energy than being laid back about sex

Why would they go out of their way to act like that if they didn't even enjoy it?

I guess you could argue that "they've been socially manipulated to do it", which is coherent if they only do it once, figure they hate it, and never do it again. But when we talk about CC riders, we're referring to women who'll spend years in this "phase"

[–]est-la-luneKinda cute kinda rock 'n' roll10 points11 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

A lot of women don't go out with the intention of hooking up, but rather dressing up, having fun, getting attention, taking pictures, etc. That's what we enjoy, not getting pumped and dumped over and over again. But these behaviors are usually accompanied by getting extremely drunk and being in an environment permissive to sex.

We rationalize our behavior as a "mistake", a "one-time thing", "unwanted", "nonconsensual", etc. because our intention was never to hook up, but continue to attend sexually permissive environments (e.g. a nightclub) when our inhibitions are very low.

Obviously intentions that don't match actions are complete B.S. The problem really comes down to a woman's self-esteem. People who need hollow validation from social media, other women, from men, and don't have stable friendships/relationships because of that are more vulnerable.

[–]LeadInfusedRedPillπŸ• Woof πŸ•4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Lol alcohol doesn’t change what you want, it just makes you less inhibited to go get what you want. You still wanted it before.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I would say, consciousness is not a single stream of desires, but rather a multitude of them. Drunkeness makes one streams more powerful and others less powerful.

[–]ayywumao 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You could say that, but how does that relate to anything concerning how alcohol chemically acts in the brain?

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I meant, it changes what people want in magnitude, but not categorically.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

alcohol doesn’t change what you want, it just makes you less inhibited to go get what you want. You still wanted it before.

I agree with this.

[–]LeadInfusedRedPillπŸ• Woof πŸ•0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you Stacy, very cool!

[–]est-la-luneKinda cute kinda rock 'n' roll0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course women want sex. Alcohol destroys our ability to make sound decisions regarding who we have sex with.

It's ok to have impulsive thoughts, everyone does. It's generally not okay to act on them.

[–]Sprach_McGrachan7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We rationalize our behavior as a "mistake", a "one-time thing", "unwanted", "nonconsensual", etc. because our intention was never to hook up, but continue to attend sexually permissive environments (e.g. a nightclub) when our inhibitions are very low.

Women revolutionize their behavior by blaming the men. Is that what you mean?

[–]alcockell2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So in pop-culture or music, this would be tracked in songs like Shania's "Man I feel like a woman" or Out tonight from RENT?

Funny how the Shania track throws me back mentally to my time in St John Ambulance, at all the balls in shortsleeve uniform, hearing the radio traffic, looking after all the women who "go totally crazy / forget I'm a lady...."

..

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And there's nothing wrong with that. But if a woman enjoys doing that stuff, then by definition it's not an act, that's her true identity. The act is when she later tries to fool herself and others by saying she's not like that

[–]est-la-luneKinda cute kinda rock 'n' roll0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I mean is that we enjoy doing those kinds of things because we enjoy attention. Hooking up is a form of attention, but that doesn't necessarily mean we want to hook up* - just that decision making is impaired when we're drunk.

After that you can either accept the consequences of your actions or deny them, and I think since most people don't even know how to get the good kind of attention they're going to opt for denial.

*Want to vs. want to act on it. Obviously you can have wild thoughts and not act on them because you know better.

[–]SabineLavine0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

My intention was always to hook up. I pumped and dumped them.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Sexual conflict.

[–]SabineLavine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

How so?

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

She wants one thing, you want the other. She does not want to be dumped. You don't want to give attention.

[–]SabineLavine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm a woman.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I thought those are men who pump women, that's why I thought you are a man.

Then probably there was no conflict. Did you consider FWB with any guy, though?

[–]SabineLavine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, I probably did every variation of these things in my single days.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Why would they go out of their way to act like that if they didn't even enjoy it?

For validation, to fit in with their friends, or because they think it's one of those "acquired taste" things?

Fitting in is a big one--I remember when i was in college, the sorority girls in my hall all seemed to kind of hate the hookup scene, but they'd never make it into TriDelt if they didn't participate. The guys weren't that relevant.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

And as I've said, that's coherent if they only do it once. Which is not the case with cc riders

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What if CC riders like to please men (they find attractive) through sex, but they do not seek hook ups per se?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Then whoever marries her will expect her to be as eager to please him, and dump her if she isn't because it's proof she doesn't find him attractive, not that "she isn't like that anymore"

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, great, but do we really talk about marriage? I gave you an example when OP's d) might be true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm just pointing out that even in your example, the "I'm not like that anymore" claim is a fallacy

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Endurance isn't coherent?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If someone plays video games 8 hours a day, you call him a gaming addict, and then he replies "oh I don't actually enjoy video games, I only play them because of my friends", would you believe him?

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If it's his only way of keeping the friend group? Yup. I actually knew someone like that once.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol what kind of friends DEMAND you play 8 hours a day? The only people who even play that much don't even have friends

[–]Bntt891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No offence those two aren’t comparable. That’s why the example doesn’t work. Someone who does this won’t have many friends to pressure them but for going out it’s more personal and more ppl to pressure them.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

fuck if i know--I don't play video games. Was just answering your hypothetical.

[–]chaddad90002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't say it is an act, but so much of that scene is an illusion. Who wants to be a boring person who does nothing but stats homework when you can have a hot party chick persona, dress real sexy, get drunk and kiss your girlfriends while the guys scream WOOO! And at the end of the night just go home and not end up being pumped by dadbod Brad or doing rails of coke until the sun comes up. Same thing with guys really, they want to act like huge partiers at that age. Mentioning this because lot of those sorority girl types are under social pressure to not hookup, but that doesn't mean you cant find them in the short dress and heels.

[–]esiemualBBlue Pill Woman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing with trying something once is that the one time you tried might have just been a rare bad instance or the poor quality might have been related to your lack of experience, and you'll likely to think so if many people seem to enjoy the thing you seemingly hate. For many women, their first time having sex is not particularly enjoyable, but instead of concluding that sex is just not their thing and that they are asexual, they keep trying to make sex fun. It is only logical that a woman who has had this experience or knows many women who had this experience wouldn't stop trying to have casual sex either, at least not after the very first try.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But when we talk about CC riders, we're referring to women who'll spend years in this "phase"

I disagree. Often people think about a person who has a few ONS to be a CC rider.

That said, we, you and I, can talk about CC riders as of women who really have most of their partners from hook ups and who do not consider anything more serious than FWB.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London22 points23 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I knew a girl back in the day was like this. She’d talk about sex all the time. Wear the most revealing stuff, flirt with many guys, talk and complain about sexual encounters, different dick sizes, mention her lesbian tendencies.

Everyone was convinced she was your superhoe. She would frequently get men trying to fuck her cus of how slutty she seemed.

Turned out she only hooked up with one dude.

No idea how she got it into her head that it was a good strategy. I think she found it difficult for anyone to take her seriously as LTR material because of it.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably didn't want an LTR as much as she wanted to seem glamorous--LTRs aren't glamorous, being a ho kinda can be in certain circumstances.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao so many layers of fail

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i think weve all had a friend like this lol

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Probably took SATC a bit too seriously haha.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

SATC?

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex and the City

[–]RoninCDN0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

How does a man find LTR-material exactly?

[–]decoy88Black Male in London2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Start by avoiding people who pretend to be someone they’re not

[–]RoninCDN0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thats a good one!

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fake sluts = the worst

[–]organicvaseline5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you. The wild stuff is just a thing that society values right now so people will identify with it and try to make it part of themselves - the wild concept is treated no differently than other societal concepts of now and the past. I'm sure there's times and places in the world where society has valued xyz traits and people go along with it bc it's just human behaviour to.

Hook up culture is another societal example (can be in the wild category aswell). People are using such a culture to their advantage as anyone would do with any sub-culture. People engage because it's there, and take from it what they can. If hook up culture didn't exist, people wouldn't be out and about in search for sex and actually doing it like that aswell.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.14 points15 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

Neither are an act. People change, people grow up, people go through β€œphases” but that doesn’t make it β€œan act”.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 7 points8 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

This is, of course, the most sensible answer, but not one anyone on here likes.

[–]the_duude_abides4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If this is the case, as I assume it is for some, does it really change anything from the male perspective. If a woman has her wild/adventurous phase, then her desires change later on to settle down and find a partner, is it not fair that the partner is upset that he didn’t get to share that adventurous phase with her? I’m not saying she’s not in her right to do it, but i feel the conversation revolves around the mans willingness to accept it. Why should he be willing to?

This assumes of course that the man didn’t have his own wild/adventurous phase of his own, because if he did he would be a hypocrite.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

s it not fair that the partner is upset that he didn’t get to share that adventurous phase with her? I’m not saying she’s not in her right to do it, but i feel the conversation revolves around the mans willingness to accept it. Why should he be willing to?

I address this in the OP--he can ask for the show, and it's not wrong for him to do so. He just ought to know that he's asking for a show.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

is it not fair that the partner is upset that he didn’t get to share that adventurous phase with her?

Why would he think this unless he missed out on being wild and adventurous himself? That's not the woman's fault. What's "unfair" about this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes most of the men upset about this have missed out on the wild and adventurous phase themselves. It's not really fair or unfair, it's just how it is.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a woman has her wild/adventurous phase, then her desires change later on to settle down and find a partner, is it not fair that the partner is upset that he didn’t get to share that adventurous phase with her?

No. Because he obviously didn't know her back then. If he doesn't like women who had party days, then he should stick with girls who never partied.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I mean I agree with you that it can be an act but I think more often it’s what I said.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Yeah....I also think that a lot of guys on here don't really interact with women outside of meat markets, so what could be one weird night they'll always remember for the woman looks like "just what women are like all the time" to these guys.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

There’s a lot of dudes on here that like to place women in very strict binary buckets

[–]GuyWithTheStalker0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

To reiterate what you just said... 😏

There are two types of dudes on here: dudes that like to place women in very strict binary buckets and dudes that don't.

"There are only two things I can' t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

there are dudes who do that and those who don’t, do you have a better way of describing that

[–]GuyWithTheStalker0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

No, and you're right.

I just got a kock out of your use of dichotomy to criticise a use of dichotomy.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Describing that some people here think x while others do not is not really what I was speaking of when I meant some place women in strict binary buckets, but ok.

[–]GuyWithTheStalker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad we both kind of mostly agree with each other in this. 😏

[–]GuyWithTheStalker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Duuuuude... I love farmers markets, and I buy my meat at a supermarket.

[–]concacanca1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah this. I suspect the people putting on an act to try and fit in aren't actually the ones racking up large n counts and partying hard.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

More often than not, lifestyles change due to a variety of factors.

[–]concacanca2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Right. Getting bored of it is really common. I'm just saying that I've known people trying to just fit in with the whole culture who never fully engaged with it. Those are the people who were acting, not the people who later came to change their lifestyle due to some factor or other.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think for a lot of people both can be true. Yes to you you've gone through a journey of personal discovery but so have like ten billion others who came before or after. From the ourside it LOOKS like an act and either way people are valid in their feelings if they don't want to deal with that.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think anyone said people aren’t β€œvalid in their feelings” I just think it is natural to change, priorities change, lifestyles change, you grow up, etc.

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain14 points15 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Women's fantasy is to have a high status man commit to them

Women who sleep around with chad are fulfilling the high status part, and women who settle down with Billy beta are fulfilling the commitment part

I will say from my experience, most girls doing casual sex are not happy and have a bunch of issues.... Usually daddy issues

I don't know if "act" is the right word but society is definitely pushing them to do stuff that doesn't really make them happy.

[–]korkyshadow6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Gotta keep the billion dollar industry of feminism alive. Happy women don't seek that garbage.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Happy women don't seek that garbage

Do 'happy men' seek that garbage, in your opinion?

[–]korkyshadow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Feminism? No the actual creepy men usually do.

[–]TheReformist941 point2 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Erm, so why are they racking massive n counts then. They wouldn't keep doing tinder hookups if they didn't like it.

My mates girlfriend has a friend where she fucks a guy from every different city she does for lols

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain8 points9 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

They're seeking male affection. Because they have daddy issues

[–]officerkondoRedder Shade of Purple Man4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As a man in his 40s, feminism’s gift to me has been tens of millions of young women with daddy issues.

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy Link

Because women aren’t allowed to like sex, right?

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Women don't like sex just for sex sake. If they do something is wrong with them mentally.

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

How on earth did you come to that conclusion? That is absolutely false. Women very much do have sexual desires and experience sexual pleasure, and no, there is nothing wrong with them mentally for enjoying it. They are human beings. Human beings are sexual.

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I never said they don't have those things. Don't misunderstand me. But for women sex is too much of a commitment and risk, they can never enjoy it as frivalously as men do, not without having mental issues.

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Im not misunderstanding and what you’re saying is patently false. Perhaps women take more into consideration and may have higher standards when it comes to hooking up compared to men but to say women don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake is absurd. Just because they aren’t as frivolous about it as men doesn’t mean they have no appetite for it.

The idea that only mentally ill women can enjoy sex is also ridiculous. There are plenty of women with healthy, active sex lives who don’t have mental health issues.

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are misunderstanding me because you're once again repeating that I think they have no desire for it

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women don't like sex just for sex sake.

The comparison you made towards men’s sexuality and the assumption you made that only mentally ill women could is still making that same argument.

Women enjoy and seek sex a lot more than you realize and give credit for.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women don't like sex just for sex sake. If they do something is wrong with them mentally.

Ok, that's enough internet for you today. You're obviously 12.

[–]coratoad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How many women do you know that meet strangers off of tinder just to fuck?

[–]Maybelowsmvman-repellant1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They are, but I think it depends on the woman. I know this girl who sleeps around with a lot of guys at my uni, and she openly mentions her mental issues, and how she regrets a lot of her sexual encounters (something she's realised post-therapy). The sleeping around and mental issues part wasn't that bad, but what made me feel a little sad was when she posted online about feeling really confused when she told a guy that she's hooking up with that she can't sleep with him for a while (mental health check) and he turned out to be fine with it and offered to just hang out without the sex. Like... how are men treating her? Why would she let other guys treat her without that level of interest/respect? I hope her future experiences are good

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

she posted online about feeling really confused when she told a guy that she's hooking up with that she can't sleep with him for a while (mental health check) and he turned out to be fine with it and offered to just hang out without the sex.

Oh yikes. I'm glad that guy turned out to be decent, but...ow. I don't think it's wrong to have casual relationships, but sheesh, there's a difference between sex without commitment and sex without even affection.

[–]Maybelowsmvman-repellant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah :/ im not close enough to her to advise her on this. plus i doubt itd ever be my place anyway

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

They're seeking male affection. Because they have daddy issues

Nope, because they'd get boyfriends if they wanted that.

You keep mentioning daddy issues. You are wrong.

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

They can't get boyfriends, not the type they want.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They can't get boyfriends, not the type they want.

Who can't? Women who have casual sex can't get boyfriends? That's some strange thought processes you've got going on there.

[–]MMDTwomen, try to use your brain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This discussion becomes rather pointless when you don't have basic reading comprehension skills

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will say from my experience, most girls doing casual sex are not happy and have a bunch of issues.... Usually daddy issues

I don't see that. What I see is my friends who do that going away on holidays a lot and having sex with guys they meet. They think it's fun. They're figuring themselves out.

No daddy issues.

I don't know if "act" is the right word but society is definitely pushing them to do stuff that doesn't really make them happy.

Don't worry, they're fine. Not being pushed. And it does make them happy. Not all women want to settle down when we're young. It's restricting, plus we're moving around for college and work etc. Hard to settle down with one guy.

[–]IndependentBowler11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I used to like broccoli as a small child.

Then I hated it when I was a pre-teen.

Now I like broccoli.

Tastes change.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough.

[–]RoninCDN2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whorcolli

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I lived this, and it definitely wasn't an act. I was having the time of my life.

My late teens to early 20s were an incredible blur of sex, drugs and music, but eventually you get it out of your system and value other things.

I think it's the same for most people. My old friends and I still reminisce fondly over the days where we'd drop 3 tabs of acid and see where the night took us, but that just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

[–]TheReformist942 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is what I'm inclined to believe. Why did you fuck so many guys then? Sexual variety? Validation?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fun

[–]sugarcurious 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because sex is awesome and it’s fun to try it with different people.

[–]TheReformist940 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So can we conclude that women want sexual variety as much as men and need to see their oats like we spread our seed?

[–]Yonderlander2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kinda rings true, but I think your authentic self also changes over time. I used to love partying, now I love staying in. I've always preferred monogamous sex but that's down to a load of other variables.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can't agree. Younger my life just fit more into trying to go out and socialize, doing stupid shit because I was young and dumb, and trying to get laid because my hormones were pushing for it very hard.

There is no reason to do that as by my age everyone is settled down for the most part and has other issues, likes kids and businesses and mortgages. If suddenly magically 40 year old had no responsibilities outside of an entry level job or school those of us who stayed in shape would be back out there.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People change over time, and our youth is our reproductive (if not sexual) prime. Low life experience coupled with reproductive urges lead to 'wild behaviour'. As you grow older, get more life experience and, overall, trade quantity for quality, you stop being 'wild'.

That's my reading anyway.

[–]Mystery_Tragic1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think someone who puts on an act is not to be trusted at all.

[–]Imrahil331 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There's a huge amount of justification and excuses for dishonesty on this board, as though it's normal or desirable for people to lie all the time.

[–]Mystery_Tragic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Oh, ok.

Why is that?

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Red Pillers and PUA types put up a front to hide their insecurities as men. Their opposition on this board is mainly middle aged women who fucked around in the 90's and want to justify it.

[–]Imrahil330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess a lot of the posters here are just narcissists that think they can or should manipulate others through lying. A lot of talk of "amoral sexual strategy" and whatnot.

[–]doctor_awfulChad ThunderDoc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is. Which is why I really wish our culture wasn't so focused on sex and partying, people get ruined.

[–]GuyWithTheStalker1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

100%. 100-fucking-%.

I love "animals," both men and women (not sexually. You know what I mean), but there are a ton of wannabe "animals" out there.

If you run for president amd make this issue a part of your national platform, I - uh... - I might not know exactly where you're going with all of this, but I'd probably retweet it or whatever because I'd get a kick out of it.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, authentic hedonists who really do love to party are great. But if you really prefer a chill night at the pub and going home to your LTR, just own it, it's not shameful.

[–]GuyWithTheStalker1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If by LTR you mean either "long term relationship" or "love, trust, and respect," then I 100% support and agree with you.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I meant long term relationship :)

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

It's never one reason. Some girls are legitimately wild, total lunatics. Others are going through the motions for whatever reason.

The important thing is to not take either or any of them seriously. Once they've broken the disney fantasy of finding a prince and have played around in Chad land that game is over.

No reason to get involved in why etc because rationalization or what we call "hamstering." Even if you found a girl pretending to be wild and legitimately cornered her on this realization, some girls would go out and fuck 10 guys just to "prove that wrong."

That's why TRP is intensely focused on an internal locus of control. What is she bringing to the table? How does her being wild or not change that? etc.

That's why the ultimate end game to all of this is if a girl is interested in something more and they're not LTR material and you know that, and you just act as if that is true and treat her as such, when she realizes that's how you feel, there's no greater insult to her. If you told her she's not LTR material, she'd just blather on why you're wrong and you're just an idiot fuck boy.

Related : Hypoagency

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's why the ultimate end game to all of this is if a girl is interested in something more and they're not LTR material and you know that, and you just act as if that is true and treat her as such, when she realizes that's how you feel, there's no greater insult to her. If you told her she's not LTR material, she'd just blather on why you're wrong and you're just an idiot fuck boy.

Soooo....there's some delight in being cruel to a girl instead of just telling her you're not interested, because you don't want to give her the chance to save face?

You must be one of those "high-value men" I've heard so much about.

And as I've said before, the idea that every guy involved in a ONS is "Chad" is absurd.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sexual strategy is amoral.

I'm just a scumbag. High value male is in group speak for a high beta.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not "sexual strategy" to figure out how to most effectively insult someone. You're just being a dick.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That wasn't the point of either comment. Amorality was in terms of maximizing male sexual supply. The rest was demonstrating what we call "hamstering."

[–]Barneysparky3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What did you do in the past week that was like you described?

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This isn't a blog.

[–]RoninCDN1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, bloggers have to try to be introspective and honest when they post.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not a woman.

[–]KlutzyDiscipline4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hi not, I'm Mom.

[–]_NormanBates 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont really agree with your theory, I think it is a type of pragmatism. The ideal for everyone is to have the greatest number of people of opposite sex wanting them with the maximum level of desire. If this is very achiavable, then the wild life is a good way to maintain and maximise the euphoria that this attention gives them. If they however fail to get the desired response, then being wild does become "authentically" unappealing, but only because their personal experience was underwhelming. Those people will prefer a relationship with one person who desires them a great deal, because it will give them more total validation than being wild did.

Some will seem to settle or wear down with age, because as they get older the validation starts to reduce so again the highs of the experience are no longer sufficient.

But the point is that if all of them can expeirence the maximum validation level, all would always be in a wild phase.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it really validating to have a bunch of randos you aren't attracted to desiring you? I honestly think a lot of it is about nonsexual validation from certain social circles.

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[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

there is no such thing as an "authentic self" it's just masks all the way down. whatever you think is your "authentic self" is just another mask that you've been wearing so long that it even you believe it.

but yes, the whole "going wild" phase is a combination of that natural drive to mate being amped up by societal messages (wrongly) telling women that not only are there zero consequences for having as much random casual sex as possible, but that she should feel ashamed about not being more of a slut.

[–]pleasantly-aloof0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Not sure what you mean by β€œusually women”? It’s been statistically proven multiple times that men have more sexual partners / are more promiscuous than women lol

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol yeah, but I meant on this sub--to hear them tell, most men are near-incels while most women are doing shifts at the Bunny Ranch.

[–]pleasantly-aloof-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That is not at all how you worded it or what it seems you originally meant. Also, I like how you’re asking for women’s opinions/point of view while also trying to call us all sluts. Classic!

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Us"? I am a woman, and I don't see what the bee in your bonnet is about--plenty of other women in this thread understood what I meant. Surely you understand that in certain circles, there's a pressure (on men and women, but for obvious reasons I'm more familiar with pressures on women) to adopt a high-living, libertine persona even if it's not something they actually enjoy?

[–]pleasantly-aloof0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

My use of β€œus” has literally nothing to do with your gender... Lmao? I get what you’re trying to say but sheesh the self resentment to say that all the women on here are working at brothels. Let me guess, we’re all wild raging sluts and you’re the one golden exception?

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you are really misunderstanding me here--I wasn't sharing my personal opinion, I was parodying the men on here's descriptions of women ("slut tells" "AWALT" and such). I personally think there's nothing wrong with (safe, consensual) promiscuity, and this hysteria around "sluts" is silly--which you'll see if you glance at my post history. I'm sorry if my wording was unclear, but I literally reference that this is men on PPD's opinion of women, not MY opinion of women. You're the only one who hasn't gotten that.

[–]Female_urinary_mazeWOMEN LIKE SEX.0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The people who fear settling down mostly wouldn't be the ones who're just partying hard to fit in. I doubt the information that some people are "wild" inauthentically would be world shattering for them.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

The entire wild girl who settles down thing doesn't really bother me (for other reasons--if a guy wants a wild girl he's wrong to choose a settled down girl), but...

In scenario (d) if a woman is capable of "going wild" as an act then she's certainly capable of "settling down" as an act.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Again, my scenario is assuming that there is some fakery going on--does it matter which end is the act?

FWIW, I do think people are less likely to put on false personas as they age-- shit gets tiring.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I guess it depends on how that sort of maturing differs from (b)? The only difference I see is the person in (d) seems driven by external perceptions rather than exploration and trying new things. I don't really see a lot of difference between the (b) and (d) scenarios honestly. Other than that (d) is trying harder to disown their past.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The difference I had in mind was basically that with b.), it's a question of, This has been fun, but my body is starting to be unable to handle the late nights and hangovers. With d.) it was never fun. It was something you endured for the sake of your reputation or social circle, the same way people who don't believe in premarital sex aren't actually enjoying the frustration, they endure it for the sake of their values.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

The main thing I would wonder about (d) is whether they are actually happy "settling down" or just hopeful they will like it having arrived there via a process of elimination.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's an interesting point--but why would you assume that?

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she's just following her (b) peers eventually they are settling down so she'll follow along.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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