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What I mean is, to give your partner a good experience, it’s much harder for men than for women. For men, we’re expected to be skilled. We should know how to use our mouth and hands, we should know how use angles, we should know errogenous zones to stimulate her body, we should know how to be dominant, we should be very good at nonverbal communication, we should know not to cum too soon because we want to take care of hers, the list goes on.

On top of that, there’s a lot of variance between women. Every man can orgasm if you tug on him enough. But one I slept with loved clitoral orgasm and couldn’t cum any other way, then another didn’t care for clitoral stuff and preferred PIV, then another wanted her hips kissed while she was fingered to cum. That last one was way out there but it illustrates the point that you’re not likely to find a man who can’t orgasm from a tug, but there’s no guarantee that things that have been good before, will be enjoyed by this woman.

By in large, though, men generally will be thrilled with a woman so long as she is enthusiastic. Everything else is icing on the cake.

It’s my belief that sex is more of a challenge to men and more of an experience to women. Men are challenged to give the woman a good experience. And this makes sense because, as is often said, sperm is cheap and the female orgasm isn’t necessary for reproduction.

This extends further back to when a man wants to get a woman’s attention in the first place. He has to be physically attractive to her, as well as demonstrating to her he’s interesting beyond the looks. Women, on the other hand, most often just need to pass the low bar for looks.

If a woman doesn’t orgasm during sex, it’s assumed that it’s the man’s fault or deficiency was the cause.

There’s also the test of whether you measure up or not. Most men will for most women, but I still think it’s worth mentioning that generally speaking there’s no reveal of a naked part of the body that can cause as much anxiety as penis size. You can be too big or too small for her.

So the man has to initiate contact, a man has to charm/convince/seduce (whatever word you wanna use. He has to make her want to have sex with him) her, then he has to have the technical skills to satisfy her.

These would be forgivable for women, but it’s shameful for men.

I’m open to having my view changed, but this is what I think based on personal and anecdotal observations.


[–]Reed_498343 points44 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It’s my belief that sex is more of a challenge to men and more of an experience to women. Men are challenged to give the woman a good experience.

It's both a challenge and an experience to men. You kind of contradict yourself there, saying that sex is easier to enjoy for men (which I generally could agree with) but then saying "for men it's not an experience, it's a challenge. For men, sex is harder." Yeah, a woman will not find every instance of sex enjoyable while a man is more likely to find at least some enjoyment in any form of sticking his dick into something. But the positive side for men is that it's more easy to be physically satisfied, so even if men have the pressure to "give a woman a good experience", they can still enjoy sex more easily.

Furthermore, a woman worth her salt won't just see it as a man's challenge to please her, she will see it as a mutual challenge for her and her partner to ensure both are pleased during sex. She will not see herself as the "consumer of sex" or the consumer of the pleasure that a man can give, but as one half of the equation.

[–]thrownaway2thewind1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is the best rebuttal to this post, way better than the "you're over thinking it!" "Just stick your dick in and thrust bro"

[–]bopoll9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not even a rebuttal, it's a confirmation lol it is harder for the man to pleasure a woman than vice versa, which is OPs first sentence in the post.

[–]thrownaway2thewind3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't say that OP is wrong I actually agree, however it's better when her intention is to also pleasure her SO. When both parties are engaged it feels less like work and more of an experience.

[–]Archibald_Andino8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I saw the title of this post, I thought was going to be in reference to the physical aspects of sex: Unless she's on top, men have to do most of the thrusting - a lot of work to your glutes, abs, core plus the additional cardio part can get tiring at some point.... also the added factor of having to achieve and maintain an erection(s) throughout the night.

[–]Reed_49831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say the workout and the cardio part make for a pretty healthy exercise.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Evidence shows that sexual pleasure for women is contextual. Meaning that how 'good' the man is at sex doesn't intrinsically matter. Similarly, the body's reaction and actual arousal for women are in discordance approximately half the time. Meaning? A woman getting wet doesn't mean that she's actually sexually aroused in the same way an adolescent boy randomly gets a boner.

Research also suggests that orgasm =/= sexual satisfaction, particularly for women. The pleasurability of the sexual experience has more to do with psychological need satisfaction. Does one sex partner feel competent, autonomous, or any relatedness to the other sex partner during the encounter? Another thing to consider is that arousal is affected by the sexual excitation and inhibition systems and how sensitive either are to a specific individual. If other aspects of a woman's life are stressing her out, her arousal will be more inhibited.

Simply put, a woman's sexual pleasure isn't inherently about the man's sexual performance as much as the context in which the sex takes place. A really good book to read to learn more about women's sexual experience is "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski.

[–]carrawayjames1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How would the studies even know the men are great at sex?

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!31 points32 points  (94 children) | Copy Link

I swear to God porn is turning guys into bizarre neurotic weirdos. Sex is easy. You're a man you basically have this encoded into your DNA. Go out on dates, kiss, touch, things get hotter and hotter, penis ends up in vagina, more kissing, after some cuddles and all that dreamy talk about dumb stuff.

You don't need to be some bizarre clit vacuum or carpet licking machine. Just be a normal man and follow your normal man instincts. As you bang more you'll figure more out.

Really what is up with you totally rekt internet Chads with your 1000 n counts and totally bizarre ideas about sex but who also need a spreadsheet and checklist just to figure out how to get a date?

"satisfy" her? Smfh

[–]sketch16200060 points61 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Just be a normal man and follow your normal man instincts.

Instructions unclear. Pumped 3x, came, and went to sleep. Girl unsatisfied.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just be yourself bro!

[–]ImsomnilandNo Pills thnx3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Oh well. I mean it’s not men’s job to see to it that the woman is “satisfied.” That’s not something we really have control over.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s not something we really have control over.

Pop the blue pill (hehe geddit) and you can go for an hour trust me fam.

[–]WhiteningMcClean2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It is something we have control over, to an extent. Which is why it’s such an effort. You have to make sure your motion is right; if she’s too quiet you have to change things up. Unless you’re naturally gifted or your partner gets off really easily it’s a challenge. Even if she’s just riding you, you need to last long enough to make it worth her while.

To be honest I can’t fully enjoy sex unless it’s a one night stand for that reason. It’s really just a matter of putting in the effort and saving the memory in the spank bank.

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Still, it’s not a guy’s job to base all of his actions around a woman’s satisfaction.

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pretty sure there is a level of control over that, even if it's less than the lady's

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

1) We have little idea as to what level of control that is.

2) Its still not really our responsibility.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

If it were this easy then sexual performance anxiety wouldn't be a clinical entity as well as premature ejaculation issues.

Driving a car is much easier than sex. Sex is hard... it's just that you start early with beginners and get better together increasing your skill.

You'd probably think different if you were a 40 year old virgin trying to please a woman within that age range.

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!-4 points-3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Those are porn addiction issues along with obesity issues

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

That's a scape goat? Issues with sex? Must be porn and obesity.

Porn addiction certainly plays a role in some cases but it's hardly the dominant factor. Usually it leads to desensitation and ED - not SPA and PE. It's worrying about being good enough in bed for her (or him) that is the dominant factor and porn doesn't really make people worry about that. Hearing women complain about bad performance is more relevant. It leads to thoughts like "if so many guys suck in bed... What if I'm bad? Is it this hard". If anything in porn the women pretend to be satisfied conveying the wrong message that it is easy to satisfy women.

I'd have yet to see a guy with SPA due to porn. It might lead to insecurities about body image, sure: "is my dick large enough?" etc.

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!-3 points-2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I don't know what your abbreviations mean. And what performance we are talking about sex here not a pornography production. You aren't an actor you're a guy with a ladee person. Of course this bizarre "oh my God am I doing it like I'm in a porn" and even weirder "am I licking this bean enough" weirdness has to do with porn.

There was no video porn outside of vhs when I saw growing up and nobody had these insane issues. It's all related to modern men's porn addiction. I say we make porn illegal

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

course this bizarre "oh my God am I doing it like I'm in a porn" and even weirder "am I licking this bean enough" weirdness has to do with porn.

Sure. But that's not what most cases of performance anxiety are about. People aren't dumb. Most know porn is "unrealistic".

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They are still watching it though. They still think of a sweet night with a girl as a "performance". Which is totally insane but stems from their porn addiction.

[–]Anonshockdandroastd5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Two definitions of "performance" (oxford dictionary)

Sexual Performance Anxiety (SPA)

The "performance" is in reference to this definition:

"the action or process of carrying out or accomplishing an action, task, or function"

not this one:

"an act of staging or presenting a play, concert, or other form of entertainment"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Maybe a different angle works.

A knows that if the sex is bad he's off the table because there's a good chance she has no interest in a relationship if the sex is bad.

This is very similar to exam anxiety because sex IS an exam here. You perform - she decides pass or fail. Porn has nothing to do with it.

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sex is an exam now?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Obviously. Otherwise there wouldn't be relationships that break or don't start due to bad sex. If you can pass or fail then it's an exam, yes

[–]GiveMeAFutaPrincess 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't bother with this moron

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you refering to me or him? Either way no point throwing insults around.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A shit test(/s).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean yes.

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Test.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

if it were easy clinical disorders (meaning literal pathological outliers) wouldn't exist?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mental disorders are special. They are just labels given to constellation of symptoms. They are incredibly common - but unless it leads to signficant occupational or social impairement they aren't diagnosed. Performance anxiety is quite common among students - but it rarely meets the threshold for a psych visit. Sexual performance anxiety isn't a pathological outlier. Virgin guy not getting his dick hard the first time due to nervousness? Not pathological but it's still an anxiety issue. You wouldn't see a psych for it unless it keeps happening many times and then you might get the official diagnosis.

Clinical just means they are diagnosed based on clinical signs instead of physical testing (lab/imaging/..).

Mental disorders are not illnesses - which is why they are called disorders instead so people don't confuse the two. Of course pharma and some bad psychiatrists don't help by portraying them as diseases but they are NOT diseases - they are disorders.

Anxiety is so common there's no point in calling it 'pathological outlier'. Phobias too. Just because something can be a disorder doesn't mean it's a pathological outlier. The word 'pathological' in this case should be used only for chronic enduring patterns.

However - the wording of my parent comment was unfortunate. I appologize.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas20 points21 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Banged 20-30 girls, only thing I've figured out is that the ones who are gonna come know exactly what they want, and give clear instructions which work in a matter of minutes. The rest seem not to know what makes them come in bed and don't seem to even care, mostly viewing sex as a tool to keep me around/interested. thats most of them

[–]Nodoxxintoxin16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

>the ones who are gonna come know exactly what they want, and give clear instructions which work in a matter of minutes

There was just a thread on relationships, “my new girlfriend is really bad at sex, I really like her but she just wants to get on top and rub back and forth on me, not make my penis go in and out. I have to make her stop and flip her back over to do it right”.

It would have been funny if it weren’t so sad. She clearly knew what she wanted.

[–]SmurfESmurferson7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Those poor kids. I want to sit them both down and explain clitoral vs. PIV sex, and why having both is both important and fun

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

JFC how hard is it for women to just say “this is what feels really good to me, in the way in and out feels good to you. Men and women are different”

[–]rus9384Misanthrope5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Well, many women can't experience orgasm in sex at all. But those women do not blame you for not giving them an orgasm, because they know with other men it was the same.

In that case it's not a big problem.

mostly viewing sex as a tool to keep me around/interested.

Many are just unexperienced and did not notice what makes them cum.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well, many women can't experience orgasm in sex at all.

Despite the can. Its more that they haven't learned what makes them orgasm. As its either due to them not learning to relax during sex or not exploring their bodies.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I heard very often when girls actually can relax and get some pleasure from sex they just don't experience orgasm from vaginal penetration. But they can reach an orgasm by stimulating clitoris for example. Of course some women can't reach it at all.

[–]Throwuhwaiy 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you're defining sex as PIV sex. Whereas most people consider it a range of activities that end in orgasm. Cunnilingus is sex, my friend.

That said, I know of women who have never achieved orgasm after years of trying, relaxing, and giving up. I suspect this is related to pelvic floor disorders, tbh, but have no evidence either way.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I said there are girls who simply are unable to get orgasm. Either solo or with a man. I know what cunnilingus is.

I suspect this is related to pelvic floor disorders, tbh, but have no evidence either way.

Well, female orgasm was not so important as male, that's how scientists put it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some can't, but a lot of them that never had an orgasm is due to the reasons I mention.

[–]Archibald_Andino6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The rest seem not to know what makes them come in bed

Or they know but don't want to state it publically partially because they're too shy/awkward to discuss this out loud and partially because they think a 'real man' should automatically know what buttons to push and it's his fault if she doesn't get off.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s a lot of girls playing irrational guessing games. Oh well they deserve what they get 🤷‍♀️

[–]Naebany7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He didnt say that sex is hard. He said that being good at sex is harder for men than for women. Because men are more easily satisfied.

[–]Thounumber1meow 🐈 *hisses angrily* 🇮🇳4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go out on dates, kiss, touch

This part doesn't come naturally to many

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I swear to God porn is turning guys into bizarre neurotic weirdos.

Porn is adding to the problem not creating it.

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

The issue is low iq men are fucking stupid and cant figure shit out on thwir own. Pussies

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

You hurt you?

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

? Its more like who hurt rp men. Im in a happy loving relationship. Im attractive and have a big dick. I want to know why you guys cant be happy too!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sure kid.

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

See this kind of bitterness and jealousu is what im talking about :p

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How exactly am I bitter and jealous here? As you boasting about yourself here just reeks of you being insecure and you trying to fool yourself your better than other men. I am sure you say you are, but your replies speak to otherwise.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hello Mr. Natural. Most men don't have your experience in life.

~T. Fat Internet Neckbeard~

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm pretty sure most men do have my experience in life

[–]Davidfosford7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you obviously don't know what you are talking about, yes most men get laid eventually, but is it easy? fuck no

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You’re very good at ad hominem and building strawmen,very good. Congrats

[–]reluctantly_red10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Sex is easy.

Exactly!!! Being attractive is the harder part. If the guy is hot the woman will enjoy the sex -- even if its just basic vanilla sex.

Expending more effort at the gym is the way to maker her have an orgasm.

[–]antariuszRed Pill Man4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Having more money is scientifically proven way of making her orgasm too.

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why dont u get a better job then

[–]antariuszRed Pill Man-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I made 175k last year. In Ohio. What would you recommend?

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Financial industry

[–]antariuszRed Pill Man0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ok, so I’m 36 years old, you think I should go to college, get a masters in business. And start over with a fresh career at 43 years old and I’d make more money overall? I’m currently on track to retire in 20 years.

Please expand upon your idea, I’m willing to entertain anything.

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its your life you can always do better especially blue collar types

[–]antariuszRed Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I already work in the highest paid blue collar profession, define “better”?

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or just be hung. Its EASY

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a bonus for the woman but it only comes into play if she thinks the guy is hot.

[–]ImsomnilandNo Pills thnx2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow people like you actually exist.

"I don't have that problem so I can't understand why other people experience difficulty in their lives...it's probably their own fault.

[–]carrawayjames0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

solipsism is the word I believe

[–]Jackpot807Purple Pill Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why I discount advice from old married men

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men never needed to make women cum to reproduce, therefore it has never been in our DNA to make women cum. That first premise is wrong.

However it is true that women will be at least attracted and happy if you do as you want without caring about affirmative verbal enthusiastic consent blah blah or respect. We have to bring women in our happy world and not expect them to make our world happy.

Some women are still difficult to make cum tho. And while my experience didn't involve much turbo tongue twirling, it involved some piano grand finger mastery. :')

[–]TheReformist944 points5 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

What part do you not get of men not even being able to get a response for a date? How can you fuck when you got noone to fuck?

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!4 points5 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Ask out more girls, meet more, and adjust your standards to what reality will allow

[–]TheReformist945 points6 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Alot of us have asked 100s, get told to fuck off night after night, sett our standards to 5/10 and still get turned down. That's the problem that all men have. We aren't asking for a model. We get turned down by average women. What can you not comprehend of the Pareto principle?

I'd be fucked without online dating. Now I'm seeing 3 women, went out last Friday, said hi to a girl, she made it clear she didn't want to talk to me

[–]Nodoxxintoxin5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

>Now I'm seeing 3 women

wut? And you are complaining?

[–]TheReformist945 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've paid my dues being a loser incel at at college thank you

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I got the same problem of not being able to be successful in person.

[–]Reed_49835 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most men haven't asked out hundreds of girls and were rejected every time. Bottom fallacy.

[–]TheReformist945 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're tired of rejection. I'm sick of it so I stick to your online. Getting sneered at for merely saying hi

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Oh that stinks but hey you know can't win em all. If you're dating three girls do you think any of them are sweet girlfriend material? Girlfriends are pretty sweet.

Also no I don't think that 80% of girls are busy banging 20% of guys. Just like no I also do not believe that the square root of a workforce produces just as much value as the remainder of the labor. Your entire paretto bullshit was boomer capitalist baloney to try to justify their insane salaries while they did everything they could to pay their own workers nothing. And now you guys think it somehow means all women are in harems.

[–]TheReformist946 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

You are just straight up denying the fact. On a typical night out in a club in England, about 5% of men pull.

Again, it's not about having them all, it's about having NOTHING for months on end. I'm not demanding sexual socialism. Just to accept it exists, it has consequences on alot of men therefore we just have to try our best.

If you had 6months as a man never being touched, and told to get lost by every woman you approached you'd get the msg

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

On a typical night out in a club in England, about 5% of men pull.

This just isn't true. England is full of slags. The less attractive ones are not hard to pull.

[–]TheReformist941 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Telling people that their experiences aren't valid and just don't happen is against he guidelines of this sub. Last time I remember I was temporarily banned from here. Slags in england have high standards.

[–]GrumpyOldHistoricist3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He didn’t say you have trouble getting laid. That’s your experience.

He’s disputing your unsourced statistic based on his anecdotal observation that English chicks are hooers.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't say anything about your personal experience being invalid, I said you pulled that 5% stat out your backside, that has nothing to do with your personal experience it's an unsourced observation.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Then go on dates and find a LTR like all men do if you're not hot enough to have endless ONS you unbelievable dolt.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They can't handle not being creme de la creme

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most normal guys aren't at night clubs trying to "pull". We have dates, we have fwbs, we have girlfriends, we get married, heck we even get divorced and do it all again.

"pull it in a nightclub" and other such bizarro stuff. I mean good for you if that's what you want to do but can you stop acting like a victim of your own choices?

[–]Offhisgame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

5% which you literally pulled outta your ass

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly.

People act like sex is an Olympic event that takes years of practice

[–]carrawayjames0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can't stand guys who do that. If it was easy for men than Purple Pill, Red Pill, or any type of pill wouldn't exist or have no followers.

[–]Almondxxx-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMAO loved your comment.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy3 points4 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

In my experience it doesn’t really matter how skilled you are

If you’re attractive and she’s attracted to you, you can be an absolutely selfish lover and she’ll enjoy it

And on the contrary, if you’re not very attractive, she feels like she’s settling, she’s not that into you, you can be technically perfect and she’ll still be “meh” about it

[–]Archibald_Andino2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same deal with approaching. It's who you are that matters, not what you say.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh I disageee about that. A lot of approaching is behavioral attractiveness. The approach and mannerisms themselves can be unattractive

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Idk who you're sleeping with but that's not true.

If a guy looks good, and all he is doing is pounding her vagina she won't enjoy it. Do you know how many girls are disappointed because the guy looked good but fucked her like vagina pump

Get over yourself.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Hey this is by and large my experience

What do people even do besides pump it’s not like there’s some secret moves it’s just pumping and pacing lol

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

What do people even do besides pump it’s not like there’s some secret moves it’s just pumping and pacing lol

Maybe this shows why women thought you weren't great at sex. If all you think is sticking a dick in and out.

There is oral, foreplay and not just pace but rhythm, motion, grinding, knowing when to be rough or when to be gentle. You're not a bunny, don't jack hammer and be boring. Be into it.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Lol at the guys on here who act so superior, like I don’t know what foreplay is lmfao gtfoh

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Um I am a girl lol.

Then maybe you're just not good at either then. A women rarley cums via penetration. Use your mouth. If you have never made a girl cum then you're either not listening to her body, or her. Or your nervous af and don't perform.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

A women rarley cums via penetration

Not my experience

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well then maybe you're ugly af is girls are "meh" about you.

You're telling me you made a girl cum and she rolls over then goes on her phone? Maybe she faked it so you can end it lol.

Yet you're skilled. Maybe you're just lacking in other areas if girls are not taken by you.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

First of all I AM ugly

And no I’m not saying that at all lol , where tf are you getting this from. Literally never in my life has a girl rolled over after sex and got on her phone

It’s like you’re just saying random things here let me recap:

in general technical skill matters very little , girls will generally be very into it if they think you’re hot and not so much if they think you’re not

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Obviously a girl has to be attracted to you to even consider having sex with you - you're acting as if most women will willingly fuck ugly guys just to get her off. Again : attraction is fundamental to get her to lay with you.

If you try to navigate from that point; a woman is not like a man where an orgasm is required to end sex.

So now I'm going to you're point "technical skill matters very little: girls will be into it if they think you are hot" that is BS. If a man is hot but doesn't know what to with his dick - she will not be into it, or she will fake it for it to end

What r u not understanding?

[–]jesshaley2530 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Many women cum via piv.

[–]MrHerbSherman🤠 howdy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes I agree

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol how do you know?

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple8 points9 points  (43 children) | Copy Link

Sex can hurt more for women. So... by that metric it is more difficult for women to perform sex.

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 1 point2 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

I’m talking of difficulty in performing specific tasks to a satisfactory level for another person, not what you’re talking about. If I have to run an obstacle course to win$50, but you just have to get pinched for a minute to get it, it’s harder for me to get the same $50.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple8 points9 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

You're downplaying the amount of pain sex can be.

And women can participate in the aerobic aspect of sex. Just do cowgirl.

[–]healthyskin4days[S] -2 points-1 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Dealing with pain is not a task that requires skill to perform to some satisfactory level. It isn’t relevant

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple8 points9 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Pain tolerance isn't a skill?

The alternative of tolerating the pain is just not having sex at all. So if a woman powers through pain, she's satisfying her lover by not quitting.

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

No. Every living creature endures pain. It’s a skill in the same way breathing is a skill.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple9 points10 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I'd agree if a woman already had a constant pain in her vagina or anus before the sex, but since it's something that's being caused by the sex itself, I'm gonna have to disagree.

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

Are you asserting that all or most of the time when women have sex they are in pain in their vaginas? Because I’d bet that you’re talking about an extremely tiny portion of women, like women who have vaginismus. Sex feels good to women too

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It happens to my gf but didn't happen with any of my ex's, so it seems like it is a minority but it does in fact happen.

With my gf it hurts her less than it used to initially but the pain is still there often. Not sure why, not gonna try and guess cuz I'll probably go all /r/badwomensanatomy.

We tried different positions and she gets very wet, but there's still a level of pain there.

Overall she does enjoy sex very much, if anything she has a higher sex drive than me, but she said it's weird because it hurts and feels good at the same time.

Make of that what you will.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I would say about 5% to 10% of any sexual encounter a woman might have might be painful, at least initially.

For various reasons. They could have lesions on their skin that are getting hit, it's too dry, not aroused and so the depth and speed of the sex is causing abdomen pain, they could be bloated or gassy and the sex is causing pressure.

And not to mention anal. Anal is absolutely harder for a woman to receive than it is for a man to give it.

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is not a skill. Sorry.

[–]Goodgirl19980 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

We have pain all the time

[–]healthyskin4days[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Irrelevant. Everyone on the planet experiences pain. It is not a skill

[–]rus9384Misanthrope-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Eh, not just during sex? Anyway, that's mostly BS according to what I know from girls. I swept out the factor that women might try not to hurt my feelings. I asked girls with whom I did not have sex as well. Sex mostly is pleasurable, at least with a skillful man.

[–]Reed_49835 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

98% of men have put their penis in a woman's vagina and thrusted. It's not a skill.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Grasping at straws. The definition

[–]GiveMeAFutaPrincess 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

If you can trust her not to snap your dick in half sure

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Does that mean you're too afraid to do cowgirl?

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I legit knew a guy who had a permanent dog-legged dick from his gf riding him wrong

[–]GiveMeAFutaPrincess 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

this gif turned me off cowgirl forever

http://i.imgur.com/mkcil.gif

NSFW obv

[–]frogsgoribbit7372 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's reverse cowgirl. Cowgirl is a bit safer.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

NSFL! That hurts just looking at i

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you just can’t look away D:

[–]Reed_49830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What? This is the first time I'm hearing this.

Any ways to prevent it?

[–]abaxeron✴️Indian Programmer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I had a dollar for every time I encounter a woman who doesn't know about frenular tears...

[–]reluctantly_red-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

the amount of pain sex can be.

WTF are you talking about?

[–]kermitisaman8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More than a third of women complain of pain during regular sex. And an even larger amount complain of pain during sex occasionally. And we're not just talking virgins.

Women are expected to have pain during sex.

[–]reluctantly_red-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sex can hurt more for women

Apparently women need to stop trying to have sex with guys they're not attracted to.

[–]frogsgoribbit7377 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What? Sex can just be painful. If the guy is too big or there wasn't enough foreplay or if you just can't get your head in it because of whatever reason.

Even when I am 100% into it with my husband who matches me really good size wise, the first couple thrusts still can hurt. I push through because I know it's temporary, but I have been with guys in the past where it wasn't.

Also, if I recently came off my period, it hurts pretty bad. And if I had anything done to my cervix recently it can be really really painful to the point of crying.

[–]Ricolapanda 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

afaik women tend to have sex exclusively with men they are attracted to.

So what is your point?

[–]GiveMeAFutaPrincess 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

80% of men attractive and far more than 20% of men are married. Most women don't get wet for their ATM

[–]Ricolapanda 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I thought that's why r/DeadBedrooms exist.

[–]RoyalAugur92-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dooming 80% of the male population to inceldom is not sustainable on a civilizational level.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That depends on a man. Otherwise you'd be an asexual (since sex is not enjoyable then).

But my thought is that you have pain when a man demonstrates poor skills. Of course I heard stories of too big dicks but that is rarer than 10% of cases.

[–]Rhyat2501 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Im a Beliver in Creationest than Evolution

[–]amendment641 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Wut? Bro I think you're in the wrong thread

[–]Rhyat2501 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If you want i can give some evidrnce of Jesus Christ

[–]amendment640 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ooooh, I love evidence, what ya got?

[–]Rhyat2501 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

One check this guy from the past a Historian AD 93 where he talks about Jesus but because he wasent i a place where supernatural stuff he had to refer to Christ has the so-called Christ

[–]amendment641 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

First off dude, I'm a bit worried about all these stroke symptoms you seem to be having, none of that run-on sentence of yours makes any sense.

Second, how is this in any way, shape, or form is this evidence?

[–]Rhyat2501 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The guy i mention is for Credit evidence in Jesus Christ the one who made Creation

Has for evidencen in Creation of heart check this guys Kent Hovind he has the a Library in very very great detail how the earth is from Creation and not evolution. Kent Hovind is the name of the guy for Creation

[–]iamprosciuttoAll about that purp1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Please go to a hospital

[–]LilyBeetle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Said the mentally retarded loser who obviously never had the chance to go to a hospital. Just ask your mom for the money. Hopefully she still cared a little bit about your existence after the family fell apart.

[–]Planetof121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

While my sexual experience is a bit limited, the few encounters were extremely successful. My ex often orgasmed twice or more. In fact, first time we did anything she orgasmed twice. One sexting relationship (Broke off for some silly reasons but we're friends) blew her off. Another woman told me she never orgasmed and wondered if she could. I made her orgasm twice in a session.

Hell, I didn't even need to ask them to do things. I managed to arouse them so much that they wanted to arouse me in return.

I have 2 female friends who are bisexual and are now a couple and we had a lot of discussions about this stuff. Sex with women isn't difficult at all. All it takes is trying for some obvious spots, seeing how they react, occasionally asking if they want it harder or softer and so forth. Open communication is the key.

[–]PMmeareasontolive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think initially, yes. However if the sex is in the context of a relationship the woman has to contribute in terms of full participation and effort or it's going to suck eventually and both are going to get bored.

Also oral sex: I don't envy women in that regard.

[–]heyeverybodyitsbunny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

my observations is personal and anecdotal as well.. but after many experiences, sex was so hard. but to be fair i tried way too hard to please guys and rarely ever came. i got guys that didn't know what clit stimulation was, or didn't want to do oral, or thought just banging their cocks/fingers as hard as they can was what women want, guys that overall didn't want to learn apart from what they thought was right. but then if i didn't do a sufficient amount of work, i'd be labeled as a starfish. if i didn't cum, the guy would feel like crap or blame me. if i tried to tell them what to do, they'd get upset or not listen. if they got soft, i wouldn't care but they would feel embarrassed and blame something i did. so in order to avoid a lot of issues, i had to be adventurous, do a lot of the humping, suck dick in between position changes, pretend i was so hungry for him, fake orgasms, act like he was a god. sex literally became a chore. the only thing they seemed to care about is lasting long enough to make me fake orgasm 4 times. don't get me wrong, i did have a few that were just happy to be there and even a few that actually wanted to please me and learn how to.. but not compared to the amount of guys who expected some porn star action. it made me hate sex because of how much work it was, how i was just feeding into their fantasy, and how i was not educating guys into actually caring about their partner.

i still put in a lot of effort in sex but only for LTRs otherwise i don't really try at all.

[–]lehappyjuice2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's easy to make a girl cum and beg for more.

You just need to be top 10% Chad. Female orgasm is highly correlated with how she perceives you in the looks department.

Everything else is blue pill bullshit

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Female orgasm is highly correlated with how she perceives you in the looks department.

LOL NO. You think a woman can cum because of how the guy looks? Have you ever had sex?

A woman is not like men who prematurely ejaculate because a girl sat on his lap.

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy Link

I always thought part of this functioned [either purposefully or unpurposefully] as a means of filtering out wack men. Since female orgasm is typically more difficult to achieve, yet also contributes to pregnancy by causing the cervix to contract, men who are less committed, unable to delay gratification, and are less caring can be detected and rejected.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy Link

Since female orgasm is typically more difficult to achieve, yet also contributes to pregnancy by causing the cervix to contract,

What?

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

That should say uterus. Thanks for the correction

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

That correction aside .... Are you saying that a women reaching orgasm will enhance the chances of pregnancy?

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

Yes.

Although sample sizes were not large enough for rigorous frequentist hypothesis testing (Tabachnick & Fidel, 2007), there are still things about the data that can be explored statistically. The differences between the hypothesized high and low fertility conditions were not significant but comparisons were made between the aggregated orgasm and non-orgasm conditions for each of the six participants. Treating the combined orgasm and non-orgasm conditions as paired samples showed that there was a significant difference in simulant retention – measured in terms of lower amount of flowback – between the orgasm (M=4.08, SD=0.17) and non-orgasm (M=3.30, SD=0.22) conditions: t(5)=7.02, p=0.001. Cohen's d=3.97, effect size r=0.89. This indicates a medium to small effect size.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087695/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry I'm not reading that because that sounds like a study someone triedb to pull out if their ass. A woman's ability to get pregnant is solely dependant on her cycle of ovulation. An egg being released has nothing to do with her clit and nervous system down there to feel it.

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

The amount of semen retained increases the likelihood of pregnancy. That study found orgasm increases semen retention. This is most probably connected to uterine peristalsis during/following orgasm.

It's pretty straight forward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

The time that an egg is going to be released is when the chances increase. You do know there are natural ways for women to track their cycle where birth control and condoms are not needed at all and a guy can cum inside of a woman with no chance of her getting pregnant. You do know that right? If there is no egg to fertilize she won't get pregnant. And that has nothing to do with whether or not she cums during sex. It's a window of time that she is not ovulating. Which is why women who do not get regular periods (aka OVULATE) have harder times conceiving because the chance of an egg being ready is not trackable.

It's pretty straight forward, if you're a woman and have been dealing with the risk of pregnancy for majority of your life.

Do not try to debate this with me. You will lose.

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

The study distinguishes between low and high fertility conditions. That doesn't change semen retention. None of your post changes the fact that orgasm increases the likelihood that a fertile woman will get pregnant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

A woman will get pregnant if she is fertile - whether or not she cums. If he cums inside of her and there is an egg ready to be fertilized she will get pregnant That's the facts. You're pulling extremely thin hairs.

Do you really think men in the past really cared whether or not a woman came? Has that stunted our population? Has that changed women getting pregnant? What about women who got pregnant from rape? Do you really think they came and that increased her likelihood of getting pregnant?

This study is crap.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kind of; I’m sure ONS are more challenging if you don’t know preferences and haven’t built trust and communication, I’m sure it’s easier with a partner you know.

[–]Terrius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it's so hard then why do lesbians/bisexual women don't have a problem making other women cum xD

like... I've never heard gay/bi women complain the way you do xD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd probably agree with this lol I was an escort for years and it was really easy money lmao

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You really don't need to put this much thought into it. Just get hard and stick your dick in her vagina. If you get stuck in your head so much you will just cause yourself performance anxiety which can easily become a feedback loop. Don't over-think it just do what comes natural.

[–]Kittennoodle-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No dude, you just need to have a boner. If you have a boner, she'll know that you're into her and she'll feed off that. Then you go from there.

[–]Davidfosford9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this comment has to be the most delusional comment i have seen in a while.

Its like when women say that most guys are confident, but fail to realise that only confident guys approach them, the other 96% are too scared.

For most men sex is hard.

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[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In an FMF my wife tried a strapon with the other woman and I got a kick out of what she said.

"That was a lot of work!"

[–]thrownaway2thewind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is true, men are required to do more if he wants to please her, anyone who disagrees with this just doesn't care about pleasing their partner. Then later on they'll wonder why they have a dead bedroom. It takes two to tango, if you're just pumping in her for 3 minutes she's not going to even want to have sex with you.

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[–]iamprosciuttoAll about that purp-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As others have said, just get a decent vibrator with adjustable settings. My girlfriend gets almost delirious from how intense her orgasms are when I'm really giving it to her and she has her vibrator on her clit. We go at it for quite some time sometimes, but others it's within 5 minutes.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

sounds like a long way to say you can't make a girl cum

just buy a clitoral vibrator, you're welcome

[–]iamprosciuttoAll about that purp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For real. My girlfriend can't come from oral sex or manual stimulation. She only gets off from penetration, and she even struggles with that sometimes. I got her a $25 wand-style vibrator, and if she is struggling with me, we just add that in, and she cums in less than 10 minutes if I'm doing a halfway-decent job. Her difficulties aren't from lack of foreplay most of the time. She just usually needs internal and external stimulation.

On the other hand, most of the women I have been with in the past were extremely easy to get off and multiorgasmic, so I know it isn't me. My girlfriend enjoys all of the things I do for and often gets right up to the edge of orgasm from nonpenetrative sex, but she just can't quite cross that threshold.

My point is that people should welcome sex toys into their sex life. If everyone is getting off, there's no reason to feel insecure about them.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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