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I see all these people asking how they could control the world to avoid sub-optimal social outcomes. How do I force a person to fall in love with me? How do I know in advance if a person is good at sex? How do I force my relationship to go according to my plan? And so on.

It doesn't work that way in real life. You can't press "up, down, left, right, A, start," to open up the relationship debug menu.

You can't know in advance how good a sex or relationship partner someone will be. You'll have to take a chance on them. You can't force a relationship to go according to plan, because life is always going to throw unpredictable shit at you. You'll have to learn to adapt. You can't manipulate someone into loving you without sacrificing the experience of authentic mutual love. If you try, you're just cheating yourself out of potential happiness. There is no reward without risk.

And finally, you can't really control what you're attracted to. The heart and the genitals want what they want.

What you can control is your mindset, how you react to the world and to your own urges. You can control your own behavior. You can improve your odds of success by knowing RP truths and building yourself up. But at the end of the day, all you can do is put your best foot forward, roll the dice, and keep yourself from freaking out if you lose.

EDIT: Since I can't respond to everyone making the same point at once -- People have rightly been telling me that no one is helpless and there's shit you can do to improve your chances. Of course that's true. What I was calling out in this OP is more the spergy analysis paralysis that crops up on this subreddit, when people who are terrified of suboptimal outcomes try to flowchart everything in advance, instead of going out and taking risks. I maintain that the higher the risk, the sweeter the reward.


[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man31 points32 points  (49 children) | Copy Link

Edit: I have no idea why the numbers are fucking up but I've tried to edit it 3 times and its not working so fuck it. Its supposed to be 1-5.

Since this is CMV I will attempt to do so, since I do believe there are essentially ways to circumvent the current fem-centric primacy of the current sexual marketplace. These are mainly "cheat codes" directed to men looking to maximize their value. They are not nice, they are not mean, they just are

  1. If you make less money than a woman you will lose value in her eyes.

This does not mean she wont fuck you, or date you, or marry you, but some part of her will value you less as a mate for your ability to provide and provision. Female hypergamy dictates maximization of utility in partners, and this requires a male with access to MORE resources than her. In todays day in age, thats more money, honey. Ignore the peanut gallery that scoffs at this. Its always been true and always will be.

  1. If you are in worse shape than a woman you will lose value in her eyes.

Female hypergamy dictates her actions in everything she does, and never is this more present than a woman who takes care of herself being utterly disgusted by a man who does not. Will she say it outloud? Odds are, no, she wont, shes a well adjusted human being and not a total bitch!, BUT she will think it, and her actions will show it. Think, "I have a boyfriend, sorry!" This applies to nearly every facet of relationships between men and women, but NOTHING is more visible to a woman than your physical self. Whether or not you give a single fuck about how you look is evidently within half a millisecond to women.. which leads me to my next point.

  1. Dressing like shit will cause women to devalue you more, so take pride in what you wear. Have a "look".

    What do I mean by this? Is dressing like shit wearing cheap clothes? NOPE, THE PRICE DOES NOT MATTER, but women want you to care about how you look. Women will devalue you or value you higher you based off of how you dress, but being that all women are different in some ways, there is no dress code that uniformly grants you access to every woman on the planet all the time. Yes, even a well tailored suit.

  2. Stop giving her everything she wants.

If you give a woman every single thing she wants she will lose interest in you sooner or later. Push the fuck back. Be a man, not a fucking doormat. Don't always listen to her music and see her movies and eat her food and go to her activities, women hate that shit. They NEED push back and individualism. No one wants to be with someone who just conforms their personality to theirs. It reeks of weakness and women detest weakness.

  1. This one hurts, but its true. Show your weaknesses very sparingly.

The women here will probably crucify me for this, but the truth is women do not like to see men cry, show any bit of weakness, or doubt. This does not mean that you can never cry infront of your wife for 40 years while you watch the opening of "Up" with eachother, but as a man you need to limit her exposure to this shit. Subconsciously, women are ALWAYS evaluating their partners fitness, and, I'm sorry guys, but showing too much emotion, be it road rage, depression, sadness, tears, over time will build resentment within her.

These are basically just small bits of information that will assist men going forward looking to build strong relationships with women. Are they cheat codes? Nah, not really, they require work and effort, but we're men, that's what we do. Knowing the subtleties of intersex dynamics can GREATLY help with maintaining relationships both short and long term. There are probably hundreds more, but I've written enough. The point is, there are ways to change your behavior to get what you want, even if it is not natural. If thats not a cheat code IDK what is.

[–]DREADC0RSAIRNo Pill | Just Dead Inside10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Why would anyone even want to date a woman if they're so superficial like this? I mean nothing wrong with grooming yourself and looking good, but if you have to have this stoic complex to you and act like you don't even like her to turn her on what is even the point? I mean if you're looking for a quick fuck whatever I guess but its like they don't want a partner they want an accessory to their lives.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What human being is not superficial?

[–]_Neon_Shadow_3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Me?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Haha good one.

[–]_Neon_Shadow_2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oof ow. My pride.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's irritating when superficial people like MercedesBenzosAMG (what an apt username) project their own cynicism on others... You're not alone in feeling like there has to be non-superficial people out there.

[–]SavingsTraffic1113 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would anyone even want to date a woman if they're so superficial like this?

Because this is how women work. For evolutionary reasons women are sexually attracted to partners with certain traits. Those who aren't are anomalies and outliers. Good like finding one.

[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Except humans are 200k years old. Basing your actions on something we did thousands of years a go is very limited.

We also shape many of our views on our own rational thought and visceral values. Believe it or not superficial traits can really deter partners.

Traits like being able to laugh at yourself and having a lack of inibitions can be hugely beneficial as women see you as someone they feel 'down to earth' and can feel more relaxed and comfortable with you.

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why would anyone even want to date a woman if they're so superficial like this?

Every woman is this superficial. None of them will admit that to you.

but if you have to have this stoic complex to you and act like you don't even like her to turn her on what is even the point?

It is NOT about acting like you don't like her, its about projecting the thoughts into her mind that you are of X value, and you can attain X with that value. That value needs to be high enough to produce an air of abundance (in regards to having other options for female intimacy, I.E, sex) and that you are willing to leave her. Most women will not admit this outwardly, but no woman wants a man who she thinks can't get other women.

I guess but its like they don't want a partner they want an accessory to their lives.

You're fooling yourself if you don't believe that relationships exist to be beneficial to each member of the relationship. This is a big part of swallowing the red pill.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

  1. This one hurts, but its true. Show your weaknesses very sparingly.

but as a man you need to limit her exposure to this shit.

This is absolutely right, and it's one of the main reasons I've sworn off monogamy. If I can't even be vulnerable, why the fuck should I give up my darwinian god given right to spread my seed for any specific woman? There's no point. You're just hiding yourself and pretending to be excited about someone you're bored by and simultaneously trying to excite them even though you're bored yourself, all so you don't "die alone." Makes no sense to me.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Everyone wears a mask when dealing with others, even our families.

Everyone dies alone too though.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn, I fucking love that song, for that reason

It's work keeping a mask on.

The white picket fence waking up next to the same face every day doesn't end up being a very good reward for the effort, I believe

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, I fucking love that song, for that reason

Good taste.

It's work keeping a mask on.

It is, but it's a useful skill.

The white picket fence waking up next to the same face every day doesn't end up being a very good reward for the effort, I believe

I agree. My goals lie elsewhere. I just wanna make a fuckload of money. No burden of having children etc.

[–]Kittennoodle5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I'm not going to do the whole engage conversation while I know you're bored, with my husband. If I feel that from him, I'm going to shut right up and let him do his thing. Thankfully, he lets me know when he rather do something else.

I find it sad that you've decided to be with people that you can't at least talk at with. I promise, if you have the right woman, even if your interested topic isn't something she understands or actively pursues, she'll try her best to grasp it in enough time.

[–]whatyoucallaflip 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

I find it sad that you've decided to be with people that you can't at least talk at with.

False. My point is that over time, the most likely outcome is mutual boredom.

That it does not apply to your marriage is truly a blessing. Cherish it.

But the odds say that cases like yours are rare. Half of marriages end in divorce, and some indeterminate additional percentage are composed of virtually imprisoned roommates chained together out of inertia

No thanks.

[–]we-are-men-with-ven-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So what if they do end in divorce? If you spent 10 years of your life happy, then that's something to look at positively.

Odds are my boyfriend probably won't be with me in my 6os..as much as I would like it to.

But the fact is RIGHT NOW I am happy and in love..and thats what makes it 100% worth it.

I'm saying this as someone who has been through a very bad break up (kid involved as well) but I absolutely do not regret that relationship. I had several years of happiness with him and I look back at it fondly.

[–]whatyoucallaflip 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

So what if they do end in divorce? If you spent 10 years of your life happy, then that's something to look at positively.

You don't need a government anctioned piece of paper that imposes onerous legal obligations on you and presumes precisely as it's starting point a lifetime commitment in order to spend 10 years together

[–]we-are-men-with-ven-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OK, no of course not. But I was more refuting your point that you should avoid marriage on the basis that it might end in divorce.

Also, it's still a nice thing to do. You have a beautiful wedding to celebrate your love and write vowels for one another.

I'm not sure I'de don't but I can totally see the appeal. Tbh I would do what my friends are starting to do and have hand-fasting ceremonies instead.

[–]cactusflowers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

... I'm not trying to be judgmental here, I'm honestly trying to be helpful when I say this - I think that taking the advice of Point #5 might be the exact reason monogamy hasn't worked out for you. And I say that as someone who has learned from experience that Point #5 doesn't work - more people, myself included, are actively avoiding partners who don't show their weaknesses. If a woman gives a shit about you, she will want both people in the relationship (herself and you) to be able to be completely vulnerable with one another. And she'll also realize that all humans have weaknesses; and that bottling them up is unhealthy.

I think you're absolutely correct in thinking that there's no point in being in a relationship if you can't be vulnerable. But when you hide your vulnerabilities, you attract others who do the same (I encourage you to google "avoidant-attachment style" - by hiding weaknesses in a relationship, you enforce the avoidant-attachment style which research shows generally is less conducive to happy, healthy, long-lasting relationships... I'd find a source myself but I'm at work). All I can say is that applying that knowledge has changed the game for me 100% - basically, you have to take that scary courageous leap of being somewhat vulnerable, if you want to attract people who are willing/comfortable with sharing vulnerabilities. When you do that, other people who are comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities will recognize that you're a "safe" person who they can share with.

Again, hopefully this doesn't come off rude or anything - I just read your post and related to it, so I wanted to share this with you - it would've saved me years of stress if I'd learned this all sooner.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you believe in the theory that every relationship has a reacher and settler then? I don’t disagree with the above, but as a man if im more fit, put together, AND wealthier than a woman then that means I’m settling and need to look in a higher league. You can’t be better than your partner in every single way and still be satisfied in a relationship

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you believe in the theory that every relationship has a reacher and settler then?

No, but I do believe that for a healthy heterosexual relationship to blossom and be strong the man needs to take the lead. I beleive that if either party is settling whatsoever, the relationship will not last. That being said, what you value and what is important for you will naturally produce a hierarchy of needs and wants, and being that people are not perfect, you must be willing to accept some imperfections in human beings.

as a man if im more fit, put together, AND wealthier than a woman then that means I’m settling and need to look in a higher league.

Men do not base their value on women having money, her accomplishments, or any of that. WOMEN value these traits in men.

You can’t be better than your partner in every single way and still be satisfied in a relationship

It's about being better in ways that matter to each sex, which is different. I don't want to be better at being feminine than my woman, I want to be more dominant. It's about a maximzation of the beneficial differences between men and women and how we are that make for a healthy, strong relationship.

[–]Zippo-Cat1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You can’t be better than your partner in every single way and still be satisfied in a relationship

Then you have some very weird standards for a relationship.

For example, wouldn't you date a hot waitress just because she's a waitress? Significant majority of men doesn't care about how "poor" their gf/wife is.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol you clearly live in a red pill forum and not the real world.

Men with high status absolutely do fucking care if their wife is a waitress or not. If you don’t then hate to break it to ya your smv isn’t that high

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Very well said +1. I was prepared to disagree with the "show weaknesses sparingly" because I know my husband's, but when it comes up it's usually tied to relief and/or success after the fact not during.

On the looks thing, guys tend to give themselves "man points" for stuff that we don't care about or is outright gross. Like calloused hands being manly, so a few hangnails just add to the "manly" right? No. Gross. Nobody is looking to get a snagglesnatch souvenir or have their tits look and feel like they dove into a box of tacks because of a massive grooming error. That's my grooming "nope" but I'm sure other women have plenty.

Dressing not needing to be expensive is huge. My husband varies between snob and bargain, but it's the potential of the item that I don't see off the rack that stands out. If you recognize something you know works for you or quality material you can take something "blah" and make it perfect at a tailor with simple cheap changes. Sleeve length, button changes, etc. I don't even think about this stuff but best believe I talk him into shopping with me when I can!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Looking good is all about being fit and having clothes that fit. A $3 vneck will look better on a guy if it fits well than a $90 brooks brothers shirt

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

Yeah there's a difference between fashion and style. Like skincare though too many "manly men" consider it gay to care or beneath them or whatever block they put up. Regardless of what you're born with there's a bar to entry for higher status jobs and/or quality women. A visual representation that you either know who you are or take yourself seriously is going to get you further than a slob or someone with money and no sense.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

too many "manly men" consider it gay to care

In my experience this is outdated. Younger men (20's) are more fashion couscous. That isn't to say they necessarily dress in a way women like... but they pay attention to what they wear says about them and this isn't considered "gay." And there's status gains from wearing designer clothes and shit too. Even rappers brag about the clothes they wear, it's not "gay" to care about that shit anymore.

No way would I ever actually drop the money real designer clothing costs but I have high quality fakes from China like my "Gucci" and "Bape" hoodies I wear 'em all the time. But not just any old shit that has a logo on it, I get stuff I think looks good on me, and it does.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Whatever their reasons are, seeing a guy in <random hoodie/t-shirt combo> and jeans that mostly fit and skin that's seen way too much sun is more common than the other extreme.

I hate logos and purposefully avoid, it just feels gross and vulgar. If the thing looks good and is quality then that's what counts! I don't see tailoring potential in items like some people can though, I totally rely on my husband for that lol. Since you bring up China, if you ever go to Thailand they will make the crap out of custom dress shirts for you that's dirt cheap compared to the US but not slave wages. Thailand for work means he's coming home with more luggage 😖

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I got a hoodie that says "GUCCI" on it with a lion head haha you'd probably hate it.

But this is what young men are like nowadays, not necessarily dressing for women but still being conscious of fashion. Even when you just look at hoodies etc there are streetwear brands like Supreme which cost just as much as any other designer clothing would. And the fact Gucci is making hoodies in the first place should tell you what you need to know really haha.

Oh and trainers are a huge deal. I still remember when I was a teenager I had this real cool pair of Nikes that was about £180 or so. Everyone in school was talking to me about them, they came up to me just to compliment my shoes. I'd never experienced anything like it. These were all boys who recognised I had on expensive shoes! Wasn't expecting that at all.

Girls didn't care though, as I said male fashion at least this type of it (streetwear stuff) isn't really so much to look good for women, it's for status amongst other men, really it's just flexing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can totally get behind that, it's very possible it's flexing I don't see!

On your Gucci hoodie I probably wouldn't hate it as long as it wasn't paired with 57886 other giant logos 😂 it's definitely a "me" thing, I don't hold others to it but I might tease 'em if we're close. My best friend gets a lil Chanel logo crazy and I definitely poke at her but she gives as good as she gets.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha feel free to tease me about logos, I am too much about flexing and I can admit it. I got a friend who collects real Bape stuff and makes jokes about my fakes all the time. I make it a point to wear them whenever I see her just to wind her up at this point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even rappers brag about the clothes they wear, it's not "gay" to care about that shit anymore.

It was never gay persa for men to care about fashion. It was more considered to be gay to be flamboyant with it. Mind you rappers rapped about their fashion in the 90's. So its nothing new. What is "new" is more how men are taking to fashion. As men's fashion overall went from the baggy look to more wearing clothes that fit you and not hang on you. So really if anything men's fashion trends have changed more than anything else. As what was in isn't in anymore.

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

fashion couscous.

best typo

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Chrome's spell check is fucking awful. I'm keeping it tho haha.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think you be surprise how women react to men using lotion and what have you. Its not positive that is forsure.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's very positive here! I love it actually. It's a positive sign of self care, especially sunscreen. One thing to think about too is if you're hitting the gym often you're showering often. That shit is drying! Women know this, if they get dumb about it I wholeheartedly endorse shaming.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your one woman, not all women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I explicitly said "it's very positive here" not "all women love x"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like calloused hands being manly

Something even some women find attractive as it means they use their hands. More so I don't see women exactly rewarding men to use lotion and what have you. Women don't want to date a woman with a dick. They want to date a man.

Dressing not needing to be expensive is huge.

One can do a lot with cheap clothing and most women won't be able to tell the difference really between a $50 shirt or a $100 one. But some women do care about the price tag. More so clothing very much conveys one's economic status. As society often thinks if we see a man wearing a suit he is likely rich where as if we see a man with a tshirt and shorts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Is dressing like shit wearing cheap clothes? NOPE, THE PRICE DOES NOT MATTER

For some it does matter as your clothes do very much convey overall your economic status. And if you wear cheap clothing women who are well gold diggers or that are higher up on the social economic ladder will notice. As generally speaking more expensive clothing will fit you better than cheaper clothing does.

there is no dress code that uniformly grants you access to every woman on the planet all the time.

No, but dressing to your body though and to who you are is overall going to serve you best though. And its going to give you the most access to women.

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women only buy the most expensive clothes because they come with a projected social status attached to them.

Men buy expensive clothes for the same exact reason.

Yes, very wealthy fashion conscious women will probably be familiar with high tier brands and labels, but that same woman will fuck a 25 year old guy in a t shirt and jeans if the situation permits it and he’s attractive enough.

Will she then vet him for a husband? Probably not.

The point is, clothes don’t absolutely have to be expensive to be flattering, and the difference between well fitting clothes at one tier of price and well fitting clothes at the top tier of price have diminishing returns of social proof.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

the difference between well fitting clothes at one tier of price and well fitting clothes at the top tier of price have diminishing returns of social proof.

Not really as you are only going to get into the fitted clothing area once you start going high end. The clothing you get at your everyday retail store like Walmart ain't going to be fitted, and often will come off as looking cheap as well due to how its made. But as I said your clothing is going to convey your economic status. And that women are going to pick up on it least those that look for men of economic status. Yes women are going to fuck a hot guy no matter what, but I am talking more about relationships here not a one time fling.

[–]rightmeow6 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you make less money than a woman you will lose value in her eyes. This does not mean she wont fuck you, or date you, or marry you, but some part of her will value you less as a mate for your ability to provide and provision. Female hypergamy dictates maximization of utility in partners, and this requires a male with access to MORE resources than her. In todays day in age, thats more money, honey. Ignore the peanut gallery that scoffs at this. Its always been true and always will be.

If you are in worse shape than a woman you will lose value in her eyes. Female hypergamy dictates her actions in everything she does, and never is this more present than a woman who takes care of herself being utterly disgusted by a man who does not. Will she say it outloud? Odds are, no, she wont, shes a well adjusted human being and not a total bitch!, BUT she will think it, and her actions will show it. Think, "I have a boyfriend, sorry!" This applies to nearly every facet of relationships between men and women, but NOTHING is more visible to a woman than your physical self. Whether or not you give a single fuck about how you look is evidently within half a millisecond to women.. which leads me to my next point.

accurate. almost always made more money than BFs and have often been the only person to go to the gym. i've never vocalized that it bothers me, but at some level it certainly does.

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop dating men with a lower value than you are willing to accept. Its bad for both of you.

[–]mojobytesGiven Up0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you give a woman every single thing she wants she will lose interest in you sooner or later. Push the fuck back. Be a man, not a fucking doormat. Don't always listen to her music and see her movies and eat her food and go to her activities, women hate that shit. They NEED push back and individualism. No one wants to be with someone who just conforms their personality to theirs. It reeks of weakness and women detest weakness.

Just pick arguments for the sake of arguing?

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely not, but do not always be bending and giving just to keep her happy. In the long run this backfires.

[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This one hurts, but its true. Show your weaknesses very sparingly.

No..There's no point in a relationship if the man never opens up. This might work in the early stages of dating but for those who want a proper bond - it's complete garbage.

[–]TyroneTheDriverRed Pill Man1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn’t say never. The focus is on limiting a woman exposure to your weaknesses.

[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Strongly disagree, based on my perception of what I find attractive as a woman and other woman (which is why you said 'women will crucify me for saying this! No doubt).

Hypothetically if it DID work, I just cannot comprehend why anyone would go around their relationship life using subterfuge and deceit. Escentially the person is not interested in YOU, just a persona that you have created. It's just going to take so much concentration and effort to regulate with not much return.

Anyway crying doesn't necessarily mean weekness. It's just a way to express how you feel and cope with something. Actually you could say that showing is a strength in itself, as it means your comfortable expressing yourself without a care of what other people think.

road rage, anger ect.

See this I agree with. Getting angry at something petty is definitely a sign of weekness. You're going to encounter some serious shit in life, if something inane and petty gets your goat - fuck knows how you act if something actually bad happens.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (64 children) | Copy Link

you say cheat codes like if everyone followed the same rules they would get the same results. calling bullshit. there will always be people that put less effort than you and still succeed. for ex: when i call out dudes that go to the gym 2x- 4x a week for a year and go from fat to a perfect 6 pack abs. It takes me 5-7 days to maintain a visible 4 pack.

also to be more on topic, the number of posters that tell me to go try and meet people when they themselves are introverted and never talk to anyone is infuriating, please. I go out of my way to try fix issues that you haven't even attempted to work on. Some people certainly have figured it out but a lot of people will never be able to. It took me a long time to really figure out how to get all A's in school and now that i figured it out. I can do that effortlessly. Apply that to relationships and meeting people as well. Some people have it figured out, some people may never figure it out.

I think luck certainly exists. my friend has only ever asked out 1 girl and that girl is married to him right now. He is anti-social, plays videogames most of the time, he isn't in shape, he's anti-feminist, he has the same exact views of women that I do. yet i'm the one working overtime to fix these "issues" because i didn't get lucky in life.

[–]NiceGuyNumber47 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Number of days in the gym isn't a measure of effort or how much progress you're making in the gym. Plenty of people go daily and look like shit due to shitty diet, programming, sleep, etc.

That being said, some people will naturally make more progress. Genetics can be a bitch.

Edit: formatting

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man10 points11 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

yeah life's not fair. some people have it easier than others.

but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it and there's no reason to dwell on it. it's just a distraction. you only have control over your own life. if you have to exercise and count calories religiously to stay shredded, then that's what you have to do. the fact that Chad can eat junk food and pound beers and still have a perfect 6 pack is irrelevant.

same thing with height or dick size or race or facial proportions or all that other stuff that incel types tend to obsess over. yes, you may be at a disadvantage compared to some tall, square jawed Aryan dreamboat. and yes, there's nothing you can realistically do to significantly change those things. but that's exactly why it's a complete waste of time to worry about it. focus on maximizing the things you can control: get fit, learn some social skills, dress well, etc.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Been there done that. Which was my point in the first place, at what point can we throw up our hands and say fuck it?

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

you should say "fuck it" about the things you can't control.

but the things you can control, you can always do more and keep improving yourself. you can always be more physically fit. you can always get more social experience and confidence. you can always gain more status. you can always be more successful.

[–]mojobytesGiven Up0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can't control being attracted to women so...

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ok well just keep being a lil crybaby see how well that works out for you

[–]mojobytesGiven Up0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly the same as getting ripped and confident, which is my point.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

when you're happy with what you've achieved, or when you're ready to give up. that's life friend

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Lol which is why i know I will never be happy. But i'm not allowed to admit the truths to my world.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

i had a similar attitude for about half of my life. now i know through experience that this general mindset/emotional state can be overcome. a lot of it has to do with acceptance, which is consistent with what blackedout is saying

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

How long is half your life?

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

a bit more than half my life actually, roughly 20 years. but a lot of people grow up faster.. [not the majority maybe]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

oh lord, if it took you 20 years, i can't imagine how long it's going to take me. I actually feel really depressed about being 30 and having no dating life when most people are already dating at 16 and pretty experienced during college years.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

you never know. people can turn things around very quickly and dramatically sometimes. have you had no dating life at all?

i'm sure you see that a lot of people's experiences end up making them more frustrated rather than less, you may be better off in some sense.

[–]skm930 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Happines from achievement is an illusion. Suffering stems from desire.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

there isn't a person out there that doesn't desire understanding and companionship. humans are and always be social creatures and that's why our brain rewards us when we seek those desires and punishes us when we don't.

[–]skm931 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That's not true. I value companionship and understanding but I don't desire it. Desire is a sign of immaturity and it will make you suffer.

I will add that I do find myself desiring it from time to time. This is also normal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

if you desire it from time to time, you will never get rid of that desire, that's the issue. i've gone months, sometimes a year without any contact with people outside of work and family.

[–]skm931 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't want to get rid of that desire, just like I don't want to stop getting sick from time to time, or being disillusioned from time to time. That's just part of life.

But life is also filled with amazing things. The problem is that we do not see them. We take them for granted and bang our heads with made up problems.

That for me is the biggest fault of the RP community. They are "worshiping a false god", so to speak.

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You know, when your advice boils down to "stop thinking rationally", I think it's time to reconsider your fucking position in the argument.

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

everything i said was completely rational. it's actually wayyyy more rational than wallowing in "woe is me" self pity and whining like a little bitch.

life's not fair. get over it.

[–]Zippo-Cat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You said "Yeah you might have no chance of winning but you should try anyway, instead of accepting you lost".

This is not rational.

life's not fair. get over it.

You're the one with "anyone can do it if only they try" attitude here. YOU think life is fair.

[–]blackedoutfast 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You said "Yeah you might have no chance of winning but you should try anyway, instead of accepting you lost".

no i didn't say that you crybaby virgin faggot. don't make up fake quotes and then attack them. that's basic debate shit. seriously are you 12 years old or something?

you know what? I was trying to help you out bro but i don't even care anymore. you have such a shit whiny attitude that i hope you do remain a permavirgin loser.

no, you'll never be the #1 ultimate male stud on the planet. and you'll never be as successful with women as me and i'm far from #1. hell, you'll never be as successful with women as a completely average beta dude who is kinda awkward and skinny fat and not very interesting.

but that has absolutely nothing to do with your looks you retard. it's because you have such a disgusting, whiny, low confidence, negative crybaby attitude. that attitude is absolutely disgusting to women. that attitude makes you less attractive than a 4' tall midget with a busted face.

drop the negativity and stop wallowing in self pity and the world is yours. but if you keep that shitty unattractive attitude you will be a sad virgin loser until the day you die.

[–]eyewant😋 grape suppository2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It takes me 5-7 days to maintain a visible 4 pack.

Isn't it better to only exercise 3 or 4 days a week? Maybe allowing your body to rest will help? But nvm idk what those 5-7 days entail.

[–]atlantic68Purple Shill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How often you exercise has little to do with abs... its more how many calories you eat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends on the person. When I went 3 days a week. I had zero progress for months.

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the person.

I'm actually finding that 2 really intense days a week works well. Us old guys need time to recover.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

the number of posters that tell me to go try and meet people when they themselves are introverted and never talk to anyone is infuriating, please.

Introversion is not social anxiety. I'm introverted and I go out and talk to people all the time. I just recoup my energy by being alone afterwards. That's all introverted means.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

how about both? they're both introverted and have social anxiety and tell me that i don't talk to people. even tho i have yet to find anyone that has talked to hundreds of new people the last 9 months.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

You can have both sure. But my point is introversion is not social anxiety. Social anxiety is social anxiety. Introversion simply means socialising drains your energy, it doesn't mean you are socially anxious, or that you dislike socialising.

even tho i have yet to find anyone that has talked to hundreds of new people the last 9 months.

You don't know anyone in retail then.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

yea but they're not going out of their way which is what i meant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

What point are you trying to make? You have to speak to hundreds of people or you don't actually like socialising?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

people that don't socialize tell me my problem is I've never talked to anyone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

I socialise all the time mate even though I'm introverted. And not socialising at all will cause depression. There's a reason solitary confinement is virtually torture. Humans are social creatures that's just a fact.

A lot of people even normies have trouble socialising, why do you think every party serves alcohol?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

what does all the time entail?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Every day I go to work and most weekends.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

I think luck certainly exists. my friend has only ever asked out 1 girl and that girl is married to him right now. He is anti-social, plays videogames most of the time, he isn't in shape, he's anti-feminist, he has the same exact views of women that I do. yet i'm the one working overtime to fix these "issues" because i didn't get lucky in life.

That's tough though, to be dependent on luck. He's fine now but if his luck ever runs out in his marriage he's fucked.

In the long run, having to work to establish a successful brand that is you gives you something reliable, rather than lucking into a good situation which could evaporate at any time, and leave you fucked if it does evaporate.

Also, don't forget that there's also luck that these objectives are achievable to you at all, for example some people could work out 7x a week and still never be able to build abs. Or get straight A's even with work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

yes but from my prospective, he's gotten proper motivation and experience to be ok further down when his luck runs out. (girl married him despite him having a lot of unattractive qualities) contrast with my experience, I am not ok in life because it's uncertain whether my work pays off, coming to RP/PPD/Seduction may have potentially reversed my chances at succeeding. immediate pressure to be something i'm not.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

it's uncertain whether my work pays off

I can definitely relate. I absolutely hate that feeling. But here's the thing,

coming to RP/PPD/Seduction may have potentially reversed my chances at succeeding. immediate pressure to be something i'm not.

You can't be something you're not and expect it to work in the long run. That puts you at the most risk of your work going to waste. At best, and it's not a good best, you're setting yourself up for a situation where you're with someone who makes you feel good but you run out of the ability to suppress your true nature.

It's not necessary. We in western societies have this obsession with covering up our weaknesses like some shame. Fuck that. Just keep obsessively working on maximizing what you are good at. That's how you achieve elite levels of anything, whether it be dating, sports, school, whatever.

yes but from my prospective, he's gotten proper motivation and experience to be ok further down when his luck runs out. (girl married him despite him having a lot of unattractive qualities)

I agree that there's a certain motivating factor to having that one experience that proves that, hey, I'm "one of those guys" now . I can't speak for everyone but in my experience it had paradoxical effects, because I was afraid to lose the validation, and when that fear eventually caused me to fuck things up with validation source, it screwed with my head for a while.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I don't have the choice. I've already had a decade pass without any women starting a conversation or showing interest with me. I have to be someone i'm not which part of my frustration with life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

In what way do you believe you have to be someone you're not? Like, what are the factors that you are suppressing/whatever in your pursuit of ending this dilemma

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I have to be a social leader, which I've never been, forced to create my own social circle of friend and maintain it. It would be much easier if i already had a GF so making friends wouldn't be as forced.

Also completely give up videogaming, It's really hard since it's the only thing i'm good at, it's also the only thing that gives me the "passionate" feel to.

there are others but those were my major failures.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't know your life beyond what you're saying, and I'm not a gamer myself, but it definitely seems like there are a lot of social circles built around enjoying gaming.

And dude you're really good at it! Why suppress something you're good at? There are tons of girls into gaming, and tons of others who pretend to be which means you still get access to them. I mean sure you shouldn't let gaming monopolize your time to stay fit but you're good at it and passionate about it and that's a great leverage point! Especially if you want to be a leader. Esports for crissake are a thing.

The only way this doesn't make sense is if you feel like you want to associate with a crowd/get women that society considers cooler than gamers?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

my current friends, whop i don't hang out with anymore are basically a social circle of gamers i met in elementary school. However 1 issue that this social circle has is. No girls ever around and there is no interest beyond gaming.

The reason being because most girls find gaming unattractive, they think it's immature, they'd rather hear "netflix shows" over admitting that you play video games. even guys tell me this.

most guys here are going after girls that are considered cooler than gamers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. I just always see these posts on Reddit from girls that are like "looking for gaming buddy". There are a lot of lonely, lost women in the world looking for a buddy who seem to have trouble finding people to relate to them/ their niche hobby, some of whom even seem attractive.

And posts about relationships that start with "we met while gaming online"

Seemed weird as fuck to me at first but honestly it makes a lot of sense. Bonding over common interests just on the internet...

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everyone steps into personas. The me in the courtroom is a hell of a lot different from the old me on the construction site.

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol

[–]PuleaSpataru69|||8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Plenty of people do all the right things and follow all the rules and end up fucked while people who do everything wrong and are underserving win.

There are cheat codes. One to be more exact PUT YOURSELF FIRST!

This is how you should live your life and this is how winners live their life:

“How we live is so different from how we ought to live that he who studies what ought to be done rather than what is done will learn the way to his downfall rather than to his preservation.” ― Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince

[–]passepar2t[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Putting yourself first or having abundance mentality isn't a cheat code, in my opinion. And I never said you have to be a good boy or girl and follow "the rules," whatever those are. I'm saying that accepting uncertainty is better than obsessively avoiding booboos.

[–]Pope_LuciousSeparating the wheat from the hoes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember when I first read this it blew my mind how true it resonated.

IMO, the difference in perspectives between Red and Blue Pills is distilled by Machiavelli here. We all want to be better, know we should be better, and appeal to these ideals (Blue Pill); however these ideals are not the guiding drives for observable human behavior (Red Pill).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's a good quote. Not a "cheat code" though, in fact I'd argue acting on self-interest is what comes most naturally to everyone.

[–]trele_morele0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Acting in self-interest is a very natural impulse. We are just taught to act against our self-interest, to put the well-being of the society above our own as that is a more "virtuous" thing to do. Some do and some don't. We can see pretty clearly who is better off in this arrangement

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. I think most people just put on a mask of not acting in self-interest. It's only the true suckers who actually buy into it being the root of all evil. Most people just use it as a cover to further their own interests. It's fake news.

For example you wanna convince someone to do something. Do you talk about how it'll benefit you, or do you find ways it'll benefit them and focus on that? Everyone knows the right answer, everyone knows this is what people do. This is manipulation straight out the 48 Laws (law 13) which publicly most people will decry as sociopathic... yet it's a bestseller among millions of regular people and it's even popular among CEO's, you know, people with power.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because it's hard to accept you are unlovable and undesirable through, literally, no fault of your own.

Because having to work harder for less payoff is so unfair that even capuchin monkeys realize it.

No man wants to have to work his ass off at the gym and in therapy just to go from "undesirable loser" to "betabux loser" to a woman who still fantasizes about her last BF pump n'dump who was a photographer, lead singer in a niche band or semi-pro athlete.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew7 points8 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

manipulation and "sociopathy" are the cheat code

[–]passepar2t[S] 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

AFAIK, sociopaths are born, not made. If you're not a natural sociopath, trying to act like one isn't going to be fulfilling.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This isn't at all true. Psychopathy, defined by an inability to feel empathy is a born trait. Sociopaths are made, in which people no longer feel empathy.

Sociopaths are distinct because they have an ingroup preference. That is, they have groups of people they treat well and then people they treat poorly.

Psychopaths (distinct from psychopathy) exploit everyone in their lives.

trying to act like one isn't going to be fulfilling.

Yeah, all the guys at TRP finally getting laid properly, hate it. You think all the guys that become players treat women like garbage because they were born that way?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_XT9-C5Qu8

Tupac was made.

[–]reluctantly_red8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sociopaths are made

Yes, and women seem quite adept at making them.

[–]passepar2t[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I thought psychopath and sociopath were just two slightly different flavors of antisocial personality disorder. Shallow affect, no empathy, the works.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kind of. Those are two neurotypes who could have behavior to classify as ASPD. A benevolent psychopath wouldn't be ASPD, but still could have a lack of empathy.

There are a disproportionate number of psychopath surgeons.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ASPD is usually what is meant by sociopathy and as a cluster B personality disorder much of it is considered to be caused by environmental factors (upbringing etc) rather than something you have straight out the womb.

I'm a bit conflicted on this issue though because on one hand, just because the disorder manifests as a result of how you're treated in your formative years doesn't mean you can will it as an adult. But on the other hand evidence shows us people would quickly become sadistic sociopaths if left to their own devices. Check out the Stanford Prison Experiment for a prime example.

Like pretty much any mental illness, it exists on a spectrum and I think everyone's on it to some degree. I also think pretty much everyone is manipulative by nature. I'm sure there's outliners but they're rare.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Who cares if it's fulfilling, the results are fulfilling AKA success.

[–]passepar2t[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

How do you define success in this case?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting what you want the way that you want it

[–]EsauTheRed 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

She is childless, I'd consider that a grave lack of success

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like success to me.

[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dying young too, and you also expect to be seen as a tragic figure, right?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dying young too

Sounds preferable to living so long you forget who your family are and lie in bed shitting yourself all day.

you also expect to be seen as a tragic figure, right?

Who, me? Why would I? I'm a nobody.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus man

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be civil.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it's not fulfilling if it's not fulfilling. fulfilling is a feeling, success is not a feeling.

you stated recently that you believe you have alexithymia. well, some people actually feel their feelings. it should come as no surprise to you that they might see the world quite differently. there can be mismatch between the external and the internal for people with feelings.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Losers

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

a matter of perspective. i appreciate that you're so (apparently) upfront with yours, you've helped further my understanding of an attitude quite different from my own

edit: better for me to say: an extreme version of an attitude that i am capable of, but which is not my primary mode

[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also visualization, in other spheres of human thought

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol what does "sociopathy" mean to you?

[–]EsauTheRed7 points8 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Millennials can't deal, refuse to let their ego die, and will just hole themselves up instead comforted by the glow of a screen

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Can't blame people for using whatever method of relief is available to their generation. Other generations drank themselves to death to numb the pain and darkness and demons that are inherent to being a man.

Can't blame them, but obviously you're right about what the solution is in your comments below.

Who will teach it?

[–]EsauTheRed2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That you (I mean this impersonally) need a teacher, or at least a defined one (as opposed letting the world be your teacher and actively participating in the struggle of life), betrays a weak, childlike and/or feminine mind (also it is no surprise that women are so much more self-centered than men when you consider this, so much more emotional, and would explain why the Buddha for example hesitated on letting women into his circle).

In my mind there is no darkness, the demons are meant to be harnessed, ridden, used as a vehicle toward greater things. It's possible that they can lead one down a path with bad outcomes for both you and your family, this has happened to me and I see it in others, but there is no denying them if one wants to live a full life.

I believe in keeping a higher principle, that is duty to the family, as my guiding moral principle. Any other consideration I have for humanity falls out from this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That you (I mean this impersonally) need a teacher, or at least a defined one (as opposed letting the world be your teacher and actively participating in the struggle of life), betrays a weak, childlike and/or feminine mind (also it is no surprise that women are so much more self-centered than men when you consider this, so much more emotional, and would explain why the Buddha for example hesitated on letting women into his circle).

You're not necessarily wrong here, either, but for most of human history there have been teachers and rites of passage. This is perhaps the first time since we made fire that we've said "fuck you, figure it out on your own" to such a massive amount of men. And notwithstanding your expectations that people should figure it out on their own, your own observation of millennials belies that it's not happening.

It's like when people talk about 70% of American adults being overweight/obese or 80% living paycheck to paycheck. It's like, ok, yes, personal responsibility. But no one cares to figure out what systemic issues underlie this sudden inability to keep oneself healthy and financially secure? We care more about bullshit than why a supermajority of our population are too fat to live healthy and too out of their depth to handle money?

That might be alright with you, but it ain't alright with me. And I think that there's a moral obligation collectively on the part of people who have it figured out to help people who don't have it figured out. I don't know yet what the best way is to achieve that, but I think it's worth doing, that it's possible to do, and that everyone will be better off for it.

For example, welfare and healthcare costs.

[–]EsauTheRed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, help others, but they have to want to be helped and I will not go out of my way to help anybody unless it will somehow benefit me

People are better served and better serve society when they focus on setting good examples (first and foremost there should be a focus on the family in terms of values and all else falls out from that) and developing themselves

Ultimately every man is an island, and should be a center of power and mastery over themselves and nature, the excess and development of man is what enables families to form

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I can let my ego die, but I kinda lose track of why I shouldn't just completely die when my ego dies. Why not move on to the great beyond if you've got no attachments to the world?

[–]EsauTheRed5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

In practice it is a softening of attachment, and a process, you need to learn to let go of things you cannot control and will need to do so through your life long

Ego never dies for long, it always returns to press you onward. It is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a mark of immaturity that it inflates and in those cases you need to strangle it, perhaps with a heroic dose of psychedelics. Failing to do so, you become locked in anxiety and watch as the world leaves you behind and those megalomaniacal visions of yourself prove themselves to be illusions - because you were too locked up in yourself to act and actualize

In my opinion, ego death should not mean you renounce the world, it should lead to grim determination in the pursuit of your personal meaning

Ego is a too much thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z92p_moBrJE

[–]Salty-Bastard0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Buddhist?

[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I do not subscribe to any particular philosophy or ideology

[–]Salty-Bastard1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Buddhism also speaks to ego release is why I ask, good stuff.

[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, I've read into Buddhism a bit, I believe that these things one can discover on one's own (and not only this, but that they can be arrived at independently speaks to the truth in them), and these texts are just aids

[–]Salty-Bastard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take what you need and leave the rest.

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I pursued meaning for quite a long time and found nothing. I want something universal. Not some personal meaning that comes out of my ass. When I pursued meaning, I determined that there's no reason for being here, so you may as well die. Then I decided that when I die I'll forget it all anyway so I may as well live through it. It was an absolutely miserable experience. I'm not going to make up my own meaning out of my ass. That just gives you something else to create your ego around doesn't it?

[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Universal meaning is out of our grasp, we can only speculate. In fact I believe that when you sense a lack of meaning, this is a signal that you are not living in a way that promotes life and you should abandon what you are doing.

You (rather this is what I do for myself) should progress toward living the best possible life you can, toward pursuing your personal Good. I don't think that the ego is necessarily evil or bad, I don't think it is bad that it returns, it just gets out of hand and puffs people up which leads to suffering (when reality does not signal back your greatness) down the road and general destruction.

[–]Starcast0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because there's still so much beauty in the world to appreciate and joy to be had of course. Unattached does not mean detached

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being born a Chad is a cheat code, actually.

[–]AutoModeratorMarried to Littleknownfacts[M] 0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Zippo-Cat4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It doesn't work that way in real life. You can't press "up, down, left, right, A, start," to open up the relationship debug menu.

Well obviously not when you're a filthy console peasant

[–]DrippyskippyMonk2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

ctrl + alt + delete is my cheat code. You win by default when you don't play the game.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

no, that's losing by default. It fucking sucks, no one is gonna give a shit if ur a 40 year old virgin, you'll probably be treated even worse.

[–]_Neon_Shadow_ 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Then is the solution killing yourself?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

no lol, that's why i still try, so i can keep telling people they are wrong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Flair checks out?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What game is it you're referring to? Sex? Relationships? Careers? Life?

[–]DrippyskippyMonk2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Life.

EDIT: just kidding bro I'm not on suicide watch or anything. You shouldn't take any of my posts under auto mod seriously. Just having fun with the newbies around here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah I was just curious what extent you took it. As in you are MGTOW right so have you only given up on relationships or is it sex and women altogether or do you consider the "rat race" of life being about a career pointless? That's the question I was asking. I wasn't implying you were suicidal haha.

[–]Shadow_Of_Chad-Lite1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women and men arent all the same cookie cutter type of people. There isn't a one solution to dealing with them.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Strongly agreed. I’ve been meaning to make a similar post about people trying to mitigate all risk and find an absolute, sure fire way to avoid (bad outcome). There is no way to do this, and it seems this entitlement to avoiding risk mentality is creeping into all aspects of modern society, especially regarding parents and kids where people feel they have a right to do basically anything to anyone as long as they can justify it by reducing their own personal risk even slightly .

Like my apartments are in a recently gentrified area and the tenants demanded an annoying gate be put in to prevent the homeless people from passing through the area. Like they are not a threat they are just homeless and they were here first lol. Now packages can’t be delivered, the locks are hard to open and the tenants whine about “slamming” (closing at any volume) of the gates.

Like JFC just accept homeless people are out here, the cops don’t need to be called every few seconds lol

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Just recently I saw police kicking homeless people out the train station I was in. They weren't causing any trouble at all just sitting there. They kicked them out into the cold night when it was -3 celsius. I can't help but wonder who the fuck actually benefits from this? It's just mindless cruelty towards the weakest in society.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I have absurdly mixed feelings about homeless people. My sisters ex bf once beat a few of them possibly to death (one was still laying on the sidewalk not moving the next day) because they wouldn’t stop yelling and shouting all night for no reason. OTOH I’m like if you’re just sleeping which they usually are then leave them alone you know ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Honestly I feel bad for most of them, they got mental illness and/or addiction problems and clearly they can't get any help and resort to having to sleep on the street. They are the weakest most vulnerable people and I have zero respect for anyone who picks fights with them or chucks them into the cold.

It's one thing if they are shouting or whatever, in which case make them move somewhere else, but if they're literally just sitting there quietly let them be imo.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel bad for them until they incessantly shout, throw things at me, spit on me or attack me, which most of them don’t

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can only agree. This is a bug in human nature. It's why people fall for get rich quick schemes and join cults. We want to believe we have answers others don't and have figured our way through the complex maze of life without having made much effort.

This is of course impossible in reality. We all have to face the simple fact that we're all fucked and the only thing to do is, as you said, take risks in search of a reward. To do otherwise is to only survive, not live.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is the reason I support the development of a technological alternative/replacement for sex and human relationships.

That way people have an option that is predictable, that has cheat codes.

Dealing with humans is a mess, but it is necessary. Once there is a decent enough alternative things will get better for many.

[–]LUClENSociology of Sex &Courtship0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think your view is too far on the opposite side of things. I have two key criticisms:

You can't know in advance how good a sex or relationship partner someone will be. You'll have to take a chance on them. You can't force a relationship to go according to plan, because life is always going to throw unpredictable shit at you. You'll have to learn to adapt. You can't manipulate someone into loving you without sacrificing the experience of authentic mutual love. If you try, you're just cheating yourself out of potential happiness. There is no reward without risk.

We can't make predictions with perfect accuracy, but we can tilt the odds in our favour by understanding the probabilistic tendencies for certain outcomes to arise. If we are investing in businesses or investing in people, we look at their resumes and other traits to know if the investment will be favourable. That is what people are trying to do, or at least ought to be trying to do.

you can't really control what you're attracted to. The heart and the genitals want what they want.

This isn't true, either, per se. One thing we can control is our life trajectory. If I'm into a certain subculture it is not hard for me to pick up and head to another one. Being submerged in a new milieu can have a profound effect on what we enjoy. Mere exposure effect is real. By controlling to what we are exposing ourselves we can control what we like.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

There might not be cheat codes to winning at life, but there are definitely Skulls that can make the game of life almost impossible to win (game of life). You want to play the game of life on super hard mode, get a kid before you're ready. Though I don't think I really agree with your premise based on nuanced point. If you dedicate your life to learning and figuring shit out then it will feel like you are playing life with cheat codes, there is no easy way to get there. Though once you are there so much shit becomes as easy as if you were playing with cheat codes. Also pragmatically speaking it's better to have the idea that there is some crazy optimal strategy to maximise for, than one of these people who say "hey it's out of my control". What I agree with however is that people shouldn't become bitter when it doesn't go their way as life is inherently unpredictable.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

but there are definitely Skulls that can make the game of life almost impossible to win

I'm guessing this is a typo and you meant 'skills,' although sadly there are some incels who actually believe the shape of their head determines their destiny ...

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry I was making a reference to Halo, in which you can add skulls to increase the difficulty of the missions.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But, but, the coach gave me a trophy just for showing up at all of the games! /s

[–]WhisperTotally LARPing. Really.0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All useful knowledge is a cheat code from the perspective of someone who doesn't have it.

[–]mojobytesGiven Up0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And for some the game is programmed to go against them and one whole side gets to decide the rules on a whim. Doesn't sound fun to play.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think there needs to be a balance. Everybody uses some kind of pattern, like a mental flowchart, to gauge how to handle such affairs. This is clearly true. I think that by explicitly discussing it, you should be able to amplify your own patterns and question some points that you aren't sure about, or that you thought you were sure about but hadn't recognised that they were damaging.

But you dont want to overanalyse things, and this is for the reasons you say. This isn't a science as far as I know, and you dont wanna be the one who only talks about this without being able to act on what they say.

[–]Daniel07390 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, not everything will work all the time and many of your attempts will fail, but TRP does a good damn job at streamlining and efficiencemaxxing the process of mating.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

still drawing life as inside vs outside, me vs others, mind vs matter, individual vs universe and so on I see...

[–]skylarwolf60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Up up down down left right left right B A start*

[–]ScootsScoots0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. Theres alot of people on here who know EXACTLY why they cant find a partner and instead of fixing that, they come on here hoping to find a work around.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Allow me to fix that: Lots of men are trying to find the cheat codes for life when there aren't any cheat codes. Women already have the master cheat code - it's called being female.

[–]stats1350 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can improve your odds of success by knowing RP truths

This is the deciding factor here. You are writing this as if its just a side note, but its the singular most important thing. Yes, there is no reward without risk. But the odds of success is what differentiates a sound investment and reckless gambling. Its the difference between investing in the stock market and buying a lottery ticket.

Of course you can't know if someone is worth investing you time and resources in. But it is still important to be asking the questions. To ask whether they will be a good sex partner. People asking it aren't expecting definitive answers or "cheat codes". They want to know what the expected value is, what the probability of lose and gain and what the amount of possible loss and gain is.

[–]passepar2t[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. I was talking more about people who are trying to make returns without investing, which isn't possible, as far as I know. But you do make a decent point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

/thread

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, there is no cheats for life, but there is the most optimal strategy.

You cannot control every aspect of your life, or even most, but you can control some aspects, which can give you different results.

I maintain that the higher the risk, the sweeter the reward.

You are not exactly correct. The higher the risk the higher the risk, there is no sure sweet reward. Or any reward at all.the correct way to speak would be "The higher the well calculated risk, sweeter is the reward". Thus. those trying to " flowchart everything in advance" are the correct ones.

because life is always going to throw unpredictable shit at you. You'll have to learn to adapt. You can't manipulate someone into loving you without sacrificing the experience of authentic mutual love. If you try, you're just cheating yourself out of potential happiness. There is no reward without risk.

Everyone here is adaptable, this is the human nature, the thing is, that some people prefer analyses before acting. You do not seem to be one of those. So, yeah, you may get more experience, but they face less risk and loss. It is a trade-off my friend.

And finally, you can't really control what you're attracted to. The heart and the genitals want what they want.

Technically you can, but sexually is also really hard. It is easier to choose correctly who you interact with. Which is those people you critique are doing.

What you can control is your mindset, how you react to the world and to your own urges.

Stoicism is good. Going head first without though is not.

You have to face it, not everyone has the resources to spare like yourself, sometimes you need to be worrisome of your resources. Those people are like that right now.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Using your analogy, it's more or less learning the "boss moves" and the technique to play the game. If you enjoy the spoils then this works.

So guys that like getting laid, it works well.

If your end goal is what we call "blue pill dreams" using "the old books" then the knowledge will make you miserable and you'll turn into what we call "children with dynamite."

Take your average guy who is having trouble getting laid and tell him something as simple as "ask every woman in your town Friday night if they want to have sex" and they'll get laid if they're a 5 that or next weekend.

That is absolutely a cheat code to that guy who doesn't get it.

[–]passepar2t[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Asking every woman in town is still rolling the dice, as opposed to obsessively trying to figure out how to avoid being disappointed because some of those women might say no. Which is the behavior I was describing in my OP. To be fair, maybe the phrase "cheat code" in the title wasn't the best phrasing.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're addressing the same population of people we counsel. The exact thing you're disputing is something we call an external locus of control. This is a stage where people try to use their knowledge to increase their presentation and like you say try to prevent the negative outcome (marriage failure, cheating etc).

And that absolutely is a phase of the process we call unplugging which is analogous to emotionally detaching from the outcome of emotionally entangling. We counsel them to adopt an internal locus of control (which we do with the statements "she's not yours" and discussions of "no blue pill dreams" etc).

What men are left with is "love what she brings you." That means to maximize what a woman does for you and to minimize what you "give" in that transaction, so when she leaves you haven't accumulated emotional debt.

Basically TRP teaches men to understand and embrace the process of male disposability (which is observed by Briffault as Briffault's law in the animal kingdom).

So in that sense, you're arguing against the same things we do but not realizing we do have the end game cheat code. We counsel men how to grow so that they're not outcome dependent anymore, which is what you're seeing.

We teach them to appreciate what is real and reject the rest and with time they embrace it and few ever go back. We teach men how to be masculine in ways that aren't taught anymore. And with that growth they absolutely feel as they have the "cheat code" which is why we also have to tell them not to talk about it, because men who still have naive views of women will cause trouble if they "out" themselves as players with advanced\incorrect\non-sportsman like knowledge.

Because for those players, they still expect to be rewarded for "playing nice" wondering why it's fair that you're able to effortlessly obtain what they believe they have to work 100 times harder for.

[–]passepar2t[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see what you're saying.

[–]Five_DecadesKnows what women want. Knows he doesn't have it-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree.

You can't do it perfectly, but you can tell a bit.

Example you have 2 women:

  1. Covered in tattoos, high school dropout, angry, in debt, single mother, aged 19.

  2. College diploma, good job, happy, finacially stable, good listener, age 28.

Its pretty obvious which one will cause more pain and heartache if you try to form a relationship or marry one on average.

There are hints and cues. There are entire fields of social science devoted to trying to learn how humans work.

[–]passepar2t[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You can tell a bit but there's still a fair chance that your good listener with a college diploma will turn out to be every bit as AWALT as the other one.

[–]Five_DecadesKnows what women want. Knows he doesn't have it0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup all 3 billion are identical. High five.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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