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I'm sure there are some men out there who suppress their emotions to an unhealthy degree (as there are women who do the same), but in general, I think most men are more in touch with their emotions, by evidence of the fact that men don't lash out and dump their problems on to other people the way women do.

Women are seen as being more open not because they somehow handle their emotions better. Quite the contrary, the fact that women can't deal with things on their own and have to vent and otherwise turn their problems into other people's problems, proves fairly conclusively that women are less able to handle their emotions, and are overall less emotionally mature.

We've taken signs of maturity and responsibility in men, and turned it around to pretend that men are robots, or otherwise don't know how to handle their emotions, when exactly the opposite is true.

I think this characterization is patronizing towards men, dishonest, and in the end, encourages bad behavior out of women.


[–]yaseedog will hunt38 points39 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

the prevailing theory when I was studying this stuff (disclaimer: not the most recent) was that while women tend to internalize (and/or seek support), men externalize distress & negative emotion, leading to differences in behavioural problems like violence, addiction, and suicidality

also I can't not point out the irony of claiming men don't vent or blame others for their problems in a sub like this lol

[–]fatalcharm11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

also I can't not point out the irony of claiming men don't vent or blame others for their problems in a sub like this lol

r/selfawarewolves

[–]panzershark2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you explain exactly what you mean by 'internalize' vs. 'externalize'? I have an idea but just want to make sure I understand.

[–]yaseedog will hunt5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

internalizing would be inwardly-focused negative behaviours and patterns like self-blame, isolation, rumination (stuff that might lead to anxiety & depression) whereas externalizing would be engaging in behaviour that's more outwardly directed/evident, like verbal or physical aggression and substance use

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That theory is great...except for the fact it's been twisted into "men feel entitled to lash out when they have problems ergo are less mature" by rad-fems.

[–]rhyth791 points92 points  (102 children) | Copy Link

I see men wanting to punch things and throw things more than women do. I work in a male dominated factory and they get loud and angry as fuck.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Yea, especially when there is alcohol men are way more emotional in terms of agrassion. Women may cry while drunk. Men do either that or they punch stuff.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 8 points9 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I think that's just a stereotype.

I've never seen a man punch a hole through a wall, and on the other hand, I've seen the statistics about domestic abuse showing that women are more likely to be the abusers, both physically, and especially verbally / emotionally.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I dont think men are more emotional. I just think it very much depends on the type of emotions. Men are more aggressive and more impulsive. Impulsiveness is linked to emotion.

Women are way more likely to cry, but its also way more socially acceptable for them to do so. They dont fight in bars, but i suppose they do engage more in domestic violence.

So i wouldnt really know how any of this could be judged. Especially when you are unspecific. Some loner guy who doesnt react to bullying, and doesnt engage in social behaviour seems way more emotionally major than the hot stacy who screams in the class hallways. But you dont know the extent of his emotions or whether he simply lacks a way to show them during social settings. The way people handle emotions seems very much dependent on the direct results they most often have had in a persons life.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just think it very much depends on the type of emotions. Men are more aggressive and more impulsive.

What I was taught in theatre, and in direct conflict with my studies in psychology is that anger and sadness aren't actually different emotions depending on how you define emotions; they absolutely differ in presentation but when you boil it down to the basics they are both ways to approach the actual feeling/emotion of 'frustration.' I can tell you that this revelation really improved my acting skills, even though there isn't much direct scientific support for it. When faced with a very severe issue, most people tend to cycle through feeling more sad or more angry depending on current energy level, environmental triggers and what an individual has been thaught as proper frustration engagement strategy.

What people feel is frustration, and they either try to force the issue themselves (which can lead to presenting anger if in excess) or they try to elicit help from others which can lead to presenting sadness in excess.

Tackling the issue by yourself even though you might be ill equipped alone is expected of men but not in women generally, and the opposite when it comes to soliciting outside help.

Truth is, because of the specifics of every situation there is not one proper way to tackle all frustrating issues. Sometimes it is ignoring it, sometimes it is soliciting help, and sometimes it is something you need to put your own energy into.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting.

There is also the difference in how people perceive things. If we compare emotion to pain there are people who feel stronger emotions than others. But if you feel less, you arent really more resistant against pain on a concious level imo. A real tuff guy would be someone who felt twice the amount of pain as everyone else and didnt complain. Same can be kinda said about emotions i think. Some people barely feel stimulation from situations that trigger strong emotional reactions from others. So they handle emotions better, but not consciously. The real hero is the person who is afraid of tarantulas, but still picks it up.

But you could keep going about and state that reactions to emotions are also determined by other factors that can be broken down. In the end we are just chemical reactions.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Were talking about external behaviours, not how emotional someone might be on the inside.

Men and women are both emotional, and honestly I think women get angry just as much as men do, men just handle their emotions better than women do.

The fact that men lash out less isn't because they're robots or because they're bottling everything up inside. It's because they handle their emotions better, more responsibly, and more maturely than women do.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I also said

"The way people handle emotions seems very much dependent on the direct results they most often have had in a persons life."

You learn which emotions are helpful and unhelpful.

People display the emotions that helps them best while doing whatever they are doing. A man crying will be seen as weak by others or himself, a woman will probably get support.

Also, when people can get away with things its much more likely they will do it. A man hitting a woman will be taken away, but women hitting men isn't taken as serious. When you change the area to saudi arabie, its the exact opposite.

Men are more tied up. They cant be aggressive, but they also cant cry. Women are more likely to be allowed both.

[–]grummthepillgrumm5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. It's not that men "handle their emotions better than women", it's that they follow the societal norms of what is the acceptable way of displaying their emotions.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. However, this fully agrees with OP; since men aren’t as much allowed to display emotions as women, we have to learn how to deal with them in another way, hence why we’re more emotionally mature (in general). We learn to deal with our shit without spewing it all around us

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

men beat and kill each other for looking at them wrong in a bar. they're basically emotionally feral. the fact that you haven't seen this behavior doesn't mean it doesn't exist

[–]ayeayefitlikeBlueish-Purple Pill Woman26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen a man punch a hole through a wall

Christ I wish I could say the same. If the guys I knew could handle their tempers better I wouldn’t have a hole in my bathroom wall and living room door currently, let alone the ones I’ve had to fix before...

[–]aznphenix5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I saw one of my cousin's ex's punch a hole in the wall before. Rare in my life, but it still exists.

[–]shoup88Report me bitch4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Guy I worked with at McDonalds punched a whole in the wall over some chick.

Can’t even keep it together at work.

[–]curiouskiwicatPurple Pill Man4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have. I believe it was at a Christian camp when I was about 15. The guy was about the same age - so technically he's a boy, not a man, but it's adult enough. He had probably been forced there by his parents, and he punched a hole in the wall as about 5 of us looked on because the camp wouldn't let him smoke a cigarette and he was involuntarily going through nicotine withdrawal.

[–]curiouskiwicatPurple Pill Man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Another one I didn't see personally, but heard from my mum. This time a man in his 20s, son of an old family friend, who my parents took in because he had nowhere else to go. He had had severe mental health issues: hallucinations, delusional beliefs, and anger management problems. He had a strong history of drug use no doubt related to his mental illnesses (whether the illness came from the drug use or the drug use was an attempt to self-medicate the illness - probably both!). He punched a wall in my parents' home. He had an auditory hallucination about my brother making sexual comments about his ex-wife or sister. He fully believed it, and told me he wanted to physically beat my brother for it. That was not taken seriously by anyone in my family. But eventually he said and did enough other things that my parents had government mental health services pick him up. I haven't heard about him since.

[–]curiouskiwicatPurple Pill Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

oohh another one a little related, about me personally (a man) this time. I was 17, and very upset about a breakup, I personally kicked a utility pole as hard as I could. I am a relatively responsible guy. It was a big, sturdy concrete pole and I wouldn't have kicked it if there was any chance of my causing actual damage. But my female friends looked on shocked as if they would never do such a thing, probably because they wouldn't. Men externalizing their problems in this way is a real thing. I am not sure they're more violent, considering the amount of self-harm which upset teenage girls put themselves through, but they are certainly more violent toward others and toward the world.

[–]SpaceWhiskey🍃 Social Justice Druid 🍂2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen a man punch a hole through a wall

I have.

[–]mistresswhat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My old apartment had multiple holes in the walls from my roommate punching them. I never actually witnessed said wall-punching, but he would always sheepishly admit what happened when I asked why there was a new hole in the wall.

[–]insultin_crayon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

that’s just a stereotype

So is your entire post

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why is a sjw defending men? May I take a screenshot? This needs to go to posteriority.

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The SJWs here are often defending men. Especially because a lot of misandry comes from TRPers and that makes pointing it out twice as fun.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well I agree we do not like many male feminists but we at eorst make jokes about the irony. But to say sjw ever tried to help men seems kind of funny. Yeah yeah. Identity politics. Sjws may think they are helping men by segregating them and emasculating them. That is not a shared feeling tho. Your definition of help that is a problem. At least the comment above really intents on helping. Or so I hope.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen a man punch a hole through a wall

Not a stereotype. I haven't seen it happen, but have seen it afterwards in quite a few homes

[–]beachredwhineCongratulations!0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmm I dunno I've punched a lot of holes in a lot of walls

[–]NewYorkJewbag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

got a source on that? Seems your whole premise is based on stereotyping.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen that sort of behavior by other men at an office. Could be that the job attracts a certain type of person.

[–]rhyth76 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't factory work represent the most common man though? Not some middle class pencil pusher.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Middle class pencil pushers are pretty common, and arguably better jobs that will attract more successful men. You'd have to take the average of all types of men. Either way, there's plenty of anecdotal evidence to support both sides.

[–]rhyth76 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My state is very rural and poor. Most people work as farmhands, in call centers (can't get angry at customers), as cashiers (same as previous), or in food factories or construction. A good job here pays $10/hr and $15 if you're lucky. If you had rich or responsible parents then they could help you get into college but most ppl's parents didn't even give a fuck about education so their kids don't either. Anyway, maybe also as a cause of poor parenting, the men feel like it is okay to swear and throw things at work.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

The heck do you do? I work in a political party with mostly illiterate people. While women hit and cry and scream when we lose elections(the pink hat when trump won), men are stoic and at worst they cry when it is him who lost the election.

The only places I see men being angry as this is bars and places where they can drink or use drugs. But this outbursts applies to both genders men are just louder.

I wonder where the heck do you work. I work with the worst of the worst. Assassins, useful idiots, politicians, emotional men, etc. Yet I never seen a single man lose his cool to this point without the use of some kind of substance.

[–]SlimLovinHigh Value to Own the Libs7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

While women hit and cry and scream when we lose elections(the pink hat when trump won),

TIL Peaceful protest--a concept so important it was put in to the First Fucking Amendment--is "hitting and crying and screaming."

Also, they didn't protest because they lost an election. They protested because a known misogynist, self-admitted sexual assaulter, and rapist was elected.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’d like to see where there was no hitting crying or screaming. Antifa is the lefts response to Trump. Threats on the presidents life a d the lives of his family are the lefts response.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey. Not everywhere is in the freaking united states. I am talking about Brazil. Our first amendment puts up that the maximum earnings of public workers. I just said that they look like the pink hat. I hate screaming and we had a lot of it. Not from the men, mind you.

They were not protesting. They were crying because our last 2 years of work were for nothing after we tried to put our candidate in the house but failed. Men were sad but silent. Women never were. Not because someone was elected. I work in a political party. Not everything is about you. And read the entire thing.

[–]hslimsch1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're the one that referred to Trump. It's not really their fault for going into talking about the states at that point, is it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope. Stop thinking only the US exists. I could be referencing hitler and I would not be talking about germany. Same thing.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I work at ppd and I wanna punch all these new jack posters trashing up the sub

bluepill confirmed

MPPDGA

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Calm and controlled as always

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

Men get pissed about more important things than women do.

Women get pissed and punch things and throw things and emotionally act out in private. All the time. They just do it in private.

The few times you've seen men emotionally acting out stand out to you because they're in public.

They're also men talking to other men, not whining and bitching like women do.

They're also getting "loud and angry" about work, not about literally everything like women do.

They're also getting loud and angry in order to get shit done; not just to "vent" and "rant" and manipulate.

So there are huge differences between women getting mad, and men getting mad, in frequency, tone, and purpose.

[–]Shazoa23 points24 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

Saying they're more important things is just your opinion. Different people find different things more or less important.

I also think men whine and bitch plenty, but perhaps that's just younger people. Men can be very bitchy and manipulative in workplaces too.

[–]rhyth711 points12 points  (36 children) | Copy Link

Throwing tools around isn't getting shit done. A cig break is more productive than that and again, it's at work, the place we're supposed to be the most controlled otherwise we'll have to have a talk with hr.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

Women are more emotionally volatile. They just confine it to nonpublic spaces.

Same with women and friends. They're lovey dovey and caring in public to their friends, then shittalk and denigrate their friends behind their backs in private. As much as women hate men, women hate each other more.

[–]yaseedog will hunt14 points15 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

do you not find it a bit contradictory to say that women are emotionally volatile while also pointing out that they are careful to constrain where they express themselves

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy Link

I think a more accurate way to put it is that women are more emotional but less aggressive.

I used to watch some blogs on youtube of some people talking about their dating life, and while I never saw 1 man cry, it was the norm for women. Same happens irl.

[–]yaseedog will hunt1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

being aggressive in the manner described above is a way of expressing emotion though, and this stuff is absolutely socialized. If men have a tendency to stomp/yell/throw things in response to a stressor while women are more likely to cry, that's a behavioural difference, not necessarily an emotional one

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

It is, we've been over this. Men experience some positive emotions stronger than women, but that difference is relatively small. Whereas women are way more affected by negative emotions than men are, and are also less likely to not express it.

[–]yaseedog will hunt0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

we have been? where?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not one bit. Women know how to contain that volatility and save it up to vomit all over someone or trash a space in private. I know way, way too many women who can do this.

[–]yaseedog will hunt11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women know how to contain that volatility

you're describing the ability to control emotional expression though

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Volatility doesn't mean explodes all the time. Gasoline is volatile. That doesn't mean it explodes every time you move it or do anything to it.

[–]yaseedog will hunt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're splitting semantic hairs here, but ok

[–]rhyth720 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I've heard men shit talk other men plenty and gossip plenty and bully plenty. I've worked in several factories with few women, for over 6 yrs. The dudes act the same at each one. They're not attempting to hide their true behavior for me.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bullying is something that happens in (primary) school, and girls do it just as much as boys, it's just usually hidden a little better.

I've never seen bullying in the real world outside of school though.

I have heard female employees talk about the in group and the out group though, something I was oblivious to until it was explained to me (my first reaction was, "you mean like how girls behave in highschool?").

My current job I have no idea if the women are this way, but it wouldn't surprise me.

[–]rhyth76 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

These men actively bully the men they don't like and these guys are in their forties and fifties. Most ppl do not grow up just because they've left school.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

k

[–]rhyth78 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You ever been called bitch boy at your work? Lol, they weren't being affectionate or just joshing. These people deface each other's lockers and uniforms.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

No, because I'm not one.

[–]rhyth7 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol bitch boy says what?

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some men can be political and I honestly think it's kind of dirty, but that just reflects the fact that men handle their emotions better.

Who has a better poker face (literally men -- professional poker tournaments prove this)? Who can stay serious the longest? Women can't handle being serious and putting their problems aside to accomplish a greater goal.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Evaluating "importance" is actually more than just an opinion, it's a rationalizing coping strategy. It's not that you don't experience a particular feeling because it's not important. You feel it and you respond by recognizing that it's not important. That awareness give you power over the emotion to cope with it and refocus your mental energy on "important" things.

[–]Shazoa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, people have different ideas of what is or us not important.

[–]mistresswhat8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men get pissed about more important things than women do.

Men got so mad about a lady on the internet who wanted to make some short videos about sexist tropes in video games that they viciously harassed her for five years straight.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not what Gamergate was about.

[–]mistresswhat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know. I can't list every example of men being mad about dumb things. It would take years.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're also getting loud and angry in order to get shit done; not just to "vent" and "rant" and manipulate.

When women bosses do this in order to get shit done, they are called "bitches" and "at that time of the month"

[–]bonusfruit0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You work in a male dominated area and wonder why you see more men getting angry than women. Hmmm

[–]rhyth72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not wondering lol I'm saying that they sometimes have overblown reactions to minor frustrations, and ones that if I acted that way, I'd be taken into hr for questioning.

[–]draggin_balls[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I work in a female dominated factory and I see women constantly fighting and bullying each other (including putting ketchup in another workers shoes). We have far more issues with the female workers than men.

I think this is more to do with the fact that historically male to male conflict can be potentially deadly so men avoid it. Whereas it seldom had that potential in women so the disincentive for them to avoid conflict was less than when compared to men.

[–]Smartless 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy Link

Counter point;

Almost none of my male friends are the types to yell, lashout, or be demeaning towards others when they get angry. Only one guy from my past comes to mind, but we're not friends and he had a host of other problems.

on the other hand, I've known more women who have no qualms yelling and getting visably bothered by 'small' things, or being openly passive agressive, or berating their partners in front of others.

There's gotta be something better than "well I know a few guys..." style of argument.

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

You argument is literally 'well my friends...'

[–]Smartless 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

No its not. My argument is that your anecdotal evidence is crap. Hence the last line in my comment.

YOUR argument literally starts "I see men..."

Do you actually care about standards of argument or, do you only use them when you can catch someone else making a mistake?

I offered my reply to show that what we personally witness is different from person to person, and not really a reliable guide.

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Maybe it is the line of work or the working conditions in my state or even just ppl from my state but I have worked in three factories with dudes who act like this. My state is very poor and uneducated. Maybe those are factors. Maybe educated ppl with good families and stable home do not act that way but that is still a very small and priveleged part of society. Maybe your group of friends had better prospects.

[–]Smartless 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

I grew up very poor, too. None of my male friends act this way, but some of my female friends do act in the ways I described.

But it's irrelevant; anecdotal data is fucking garbage (something you didn't hesitate to try and point out with my original comment).

Do you have any sense of how many men didn't behave this way, but you simply didn't notice because your preexisting beliefs didn't prime you to look out for it?

Of course you don't. How could you? You wouldn't have noticed them by definition.

What about how many women did behave in analogous ways, but it didn't standout to you because your preexisting narrative lead you to 'explain it away' whenever you saw women act a certain way, but not a man?

Again, same problem; you have no way of knowing.

These anecdotal arguments aren't bad merely because they don't hold up to scientific standards. It's a lot deeper than that. They're bad because our tendency to try and fit data to a preexisting belief structures affects what data we observe.

In other words, our beliefs about the data actually affect the data collection mechanism itself, which is why these arguments don't work.

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would have evidence if I walked with a body cam

[–]Smartless 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

And how would you evaluate that evidence in a non-biased way?

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Put cameras on everybody then. Honestly, it's not my job to perform an experiment for you. No one person is without bias. I don't have a thesis or research paper for you.

[–]Smartless 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wasn't asking you to.

My entire argument has been pointing out the limitations of relying on one's own personal experience; a point I thought you would be sympathetic to, given how you initially replied to my first comment.

Recognizing those limitations doesn't mean you need to run a double blind experiment or anything. It just means that you should be a lot more cautious of your own conclusions when all you have is your personal experience.

[–]rhyth70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like I get that our job is frustrating and the managers are idiots, but you just gotta suffer through it. Don't damage the equipment just cuz it fucks up on you, that's not professional.

[–]TrumpCardStrategy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Which also goes against the “men aren't in touch with their emotions” meme

[–]rhyth78 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Male anger is seen as more acceptable than female anger and male sadness is seen as less acceptable so a lot of men choose to just use anger as their catch-all emotions. It seems like men are only angry or happy, nothing else, no nuance. Channeling sadness into anger instead of being able to own it and verbalize it is pretty unhealthy.

[–]Dweller_of_the_Abyss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It seems like men are only angry or happy, nothing else,...

There's a good number of men who know of the word, but will never know the experience of the definition.

[–]panzershark25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

We can reduce this down to an evolutionary standpoint by pointing out that women have almost always been the more social sex since the beginning of time. Men have their physical strength to protect themselves. Without this, women have to rely on social and emotional skills to keep them alive and foster goodwill between other members in their social circles.

There have been several studies with conclusions that women read subtle facial expressions better than men as well. While men are willing to 'forgive and forget,' they are also less willing to actually talk about their feelings and problems and work through them the way women are.

I won't even bother bringing up suicide and depression rates in men because others have already done so.

Men in this generation are slowly learning to become more in touch with their emotions compared to their Baby Boomer and earlier gen counterparts, but they've still got a ways to go. My dad himself is a Baby Boomer and I've seen maybe two emotions from him in my lifetime. Anger and happiness. Not much else in between. Men have always been taught to be stoic and to repress their emotions. It doesn't make it healthy and this is what leads to the higher rate of male suicide.

[–]themanmohr4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it’s stupid to assume that talking about your feelings makes things better if anything I find that it just tends to drag out all the negative emotion over a longer period of time and usually creates a bigger problem in my experience it’s fine to experience emotions in the moment but the sooner you get them under control the better and you also have to remember that men have to keep their emotions under more control because if a man loses control and even touches a woman in a hostile way he can go to jail but women can lose control of their emotions all the time and slap kick and punch and nothing happens also women are much more neurotic than men and they have a higher rate of depression and anxiety disorders than men women also attempt suicide a lot more men are just more successful because they tend to do it by blowing their brains or handing themselves while women take pills and slit their wrists to bleed out neither of which are instant death so a lot of them are stopped or saved by doctors but there’s nothing they can do if a bullet splatters your brains everywhere and I think your dad might just be a psychopath because I don’t know any men like that including those from older generations

[–]panzershark5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

See, there is a little more to emotional maturity than just ‘talking about your feelings.’ There are times when to talk about them, and times where you shouldn’t. Knowing when it is appropriate and how to share your feelings is emotional maturity.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but emotional maturity is not something everyone has, man or woman. It’s something you learn from others, mainly your parents, or through self-reflection or even therapy.

There is no denying that men in western (mainly American) society are taught from a young age that it’s not okay to cry or express hurt and sadness because these are ‘feminine’ emotions. So naturally the hurt and sadness transforms into rage and anger because it is more acceptable for men to be angry. Or they repress it, which you seem to think is fine, and they spiral further into depression because they don’t feel like they can talk about it. This is not all men, but it is an undeniably high number of them.

And no, my dad is not a psychopath, but thanks for the concern.

[–]themanmohr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well I’m an American man and I was never taught to repress my emotions I don’t think that’s healthy but there is a time and a place you should let out your emotions and there are times when it’s not appropriate and rage and anger aren’t the result of repressing your emotions and I don’t think it’s more acceptable for men to let out those emotions think about it if a woman gets angry and hits her SO then nothing happens but if a man get angry and hits their SO it’s straight to jail and I think that men just experience anger a lot more because more testosterone makes you more prone to experience anger it’s why when people take testosterone injections(steroids) they get what’s called “roid rage” and it’s why when I was a child I only really got sad I would rarely get angry but after puberty I would get angry instead of sad as you said emotional maturity is know when to express emotions so my point is that men are taught not to express emotions under certain circumstances and that they should talk about them with a therapist or family and friends but for women it is socially acceptable to express them anywhere at anytime people don’t laugh at men who cry at all they laugh at men who cry in public over small things and that is the point men are more emotionally mature because they are taught not to let out their emotions in certain circumstances while women are not

[–]legaladvicequest4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has so much more reasoning and substance than the original post by the OP. OP cites a bunch of anecdotes while you look at concrete rates, studies that can be searched easily, and evolutionary theory.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or maybe cause they have more stressful lives. Or do you also believe men live on average less cause they're so emotional?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband66 points67 points  (162 children) | Copy Link

I think the alarming male suicide rate is evidence that men do not have their emotions under control.

Let's also throw in that pot crimes of passion.

[–]Santaclause375 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or maybe JUST MAYBE, its because society treats men like shit

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or maybe JUST MAYBE, its because society treats men like shit

Society treats everyone like shit. Have a drink on me.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 11 points12 points  (121 children) | Copy Link

Women actually commit suicide at comparable rates as men, they just tend to be less successful at it.

My unsupported theory about this is that women are more likely motivated by attention, so they actually want to survive to get pity from people, but it could also just be that men are a little more skilled and better able to carry things out than women are.

[–]EODtechUSMC 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women actually commit suicide at comparable rates as men, they just tend to be less successful at it.

Attempt

[–]themanmohr4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women actually attempt it more often they just aren’t very successful often because they tend to opt for less instant or painful options like taking pills overdosing or slitting their wrists and bleeding out which can take hours the only reason women are less successful at it is because the methods they use are less effective and easier to save someone from but there’s nothing they can do for methods men tend to opt for like blowing their brains everywhere for instance

[–]lefactorybebe20 points21 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I think the explanation is that women tend to go with less violent means, they'll poison themselves, overdose, they might drown themselves, etc. Men tend to jump off a bridge or shoot themselves, there's a lot less room for error with those methods.

[–]NiceGuyNumber410 points11 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Women want attention and men want results.

[–]lefactorybebe12 points13 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Nope, the thought is that women don't like to make a big mess that others will have to clean up. The more successful methods are the messier ones, which women tend to stay away from.

[–]NiceGuyNumber413 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha yeah I'm sure it all boils down to cleanliness.

[–]CodyCodeine10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

That's so bull shit and you know it

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only thing that’s bullshit here is the idea that men don’t want attention. Half the time, the reason they blow their heads off is because they’re not getting any attention. Women inherently know that no man is worth killing herself for.

[–]lefactorybebe11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It's also the fact that women tend to hold appearance in higher regard, and jumping from a height/shooting yourself results in serious deformity, I didn't mention that the first time. But you can believe whatever you want.

[–]CodyCodeine-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think it's that women want attention/help from their suicides, whilst men actually want to die. If you actually wanted to end it all, the cleanup wouldn't be that important. You can OD, shoot yourself in the woods, hang yourself, etc.. There are so many clean ways to do it. I'm sorry, but I'll be blunt. Your justification is retarded

[–]lyndasmelody19958 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you have an actual source for that? Or is it just a theory? "Data from a psychological autopsy study were used to test the theory that women who commit suicide use less violent means because they are less intent on dying. Although women were significantly less likely to use a violent method than men, there was no difference in the lethality of their suicidal intent." And that's from this study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/11079640/

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

RP deluxe: women aren’t as sure of their own paths as men, which is why they fail on suicides. If a man would hype a suicidal woman up, she’d probably have a bigger chance of success

[–]aznphenix6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can OD,

That is the primary method by which women attempt suicide you know right? And why wouldn't the cleanup be important? You feel like a piece of shit that no one wants, but you really want to be mean back to the world?

[–]lefactorybebe2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Please don't down vote. I'm at the zoo, might get to this later, but no need to be so rude and wrong at the same time!!

[–]dakruNeither1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know why you and /u/NiceGuyNumber4 are writing as if there's only one answer. There are various plausible reasons in the literature for why men's suicide attempts more likely end up in death; a greater desire to die and less concern for appearance are both among them.

Researchers have speculated about other reasons men may have for em­ploying highly lethal means.[19,25] These explanations suggest that when compared with suicidal women, men who reach the point of suicidal action are:

  1. More hopeless.
  2. More clearly resolved to die.
  3. More likely to be intoxicated and thus more disinhibited.
  4. More willing to carry out actions that might leave them injured or disfigured.
  5. More unconcerned with consequenc­es because of a high risk-taking orientation.
  6. More likely to have a greater capacity to enact lethal self-injury.

[https://www.bcmj.org/articles/silent-epidemic-male-suicide]

[–]worldnewsie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

...being unsuccessful and needing others to care for you in the aftermath is a bigger mess than being dead and having some body fluids on the floor. Guys don't want to risk somebody needing to look after them if they can't kill themselves right.

[–]red__aaron8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No it’s cuz men are more likely to have access to and use guns, which are much more lethal than other things.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband10 points11 points  (100 children) | Copy Link

Women actually commit suicide at comparable rates as men, they just tend to be less successful at it.

So men are at least as emotionally unstable as women.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (99 children) | Copy Link

I don't think that's a good metric by itself, for quite a few reasons.

At the top of the list though is the fact that life is generally harder for men, women tend to be supported a lot more by society, and of course the idea that smarter people (maybe even people with better emotionally intelligence) are more open to things like suicide in general (the very ideas that people shouldn't be allowed to commit suicide, or that life has meaning, are open for debate).

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband15 points16 points  (98 children) | Copy Link

At the top of the list though is the fact that life is generally harder for men,

Life is hard all around.

women tend to be supported a lot more by society,

That's because when women get suicidal feelings they handle it like adults and seek professional help, unlike men.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller9 points10 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

No. There are countless thorough studies on suicide, no need to invent your own moralistic bullshit about how women are somehow better at managing their mental state.

Women have a bigger social circle than men and that’s the main reason why they deal better. Men tend to kill themselves following a breakup / divorce or a loss of job (including things like coming back from war). And the sudden reduction of their social circle is often what lead them to off themselves.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband11 points12 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

No. There are countless thorough studies on suicide, no need to invent your own moralistic bullshit about how women are somehow better at managing their mental state.

Because you think having the occasional cry at work is worse emotional management than punching holes in the wall?

Women have a bigger social circle than men and that’s the main reason why by deal better. Men tend to kill themselves following a breakup / divorce or a loss of job (including things like going back from war). And the sudden reduction of their social circle is often what lead them to off themselves.

Yes, that is part of emotional management.

[–]flyawaylittlebirdierabid feminist13 points14 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Its funny to see a bunch of dudes being casually misogynistic without any actual evidence to back them up claiming to be the more logical and calculated than an actual rational thought process, not to mention one that has more research backing it up than the counter argument.

[–]dval92White Anglo-Saxon Hebrew2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Ok, I’ll bite. What’s the contradiction in being both “misogynistic” and “rational”?

[–]flyawaylittlebirdierabid feminist11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

The fact it's blinding the people I'm talking about to actual rational argument? Seriously every single point made by the person I directly replied to was slapped down as illogical or not a sign of emotional stability/maturity, despite the fact everything listed is widely agreed upon as such in the medical field. If you're just stating facts it would, by the definition, not be misogynist. The problem is that TRP likes to pass off pseudoscience or complete miscomprehension of studies as fact. It's the biggest and most prominent issue with TRP and their theories.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

A man can't just give up and move into someone else's life the way a woman can. Where a man finds himself homeless, a woman finds sympathy from other people to help her out.

The fact is, men are expected to support themselves (as well as other people), whereas for women that's all just optional. Women have more outs in life than men do.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

A man can't just give up and move into someone else's life the way a woman can. Where a man finds himself homeless, a woman finds sympathy from other people to help her out.

Not sure what this has to do with emotional expression.

The fact is, men are expected to support themselves (as well as other people), whereas for women that's all just optional. Women have more outs in life than men do.

Women are also expected to support themselves and others. Maybe not financially. But often times emotionally. So not only are they carrying their own emotional burdens but also many times also their husband's, their mother's, their sister's too.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Not sure what this has to do with emotional expression.

This is an expression of your social circle idea.

A woman always has someone or some thing to fall back on. Society cares about women and will always support them.

Men don't have the same benefit in life, not because they have fewer friends (in fact male friendships tend to be more substantial than female friendships), it's because society is gynocentric and benefits women while leaving men to fend for themselves.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Because you think having the occasional cry at work is worse emotional management than punching holes in the wall?

You’re the one making useless comparaisons. Punching holes and crying at work does not even indicate the same emotion. Men are more likely to do the first and women the last because of their innate biological difference, not some kind of super wisdom.

Yes, that is part of emotional management.

No. Having a large social circle is not part of emotional management. It’s just a factor among other, one particularly important. But people don’t choose that, it just happen than women have a bigger circle as they always had and will forever.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You’re the one making useless comparaisons. Punching holes and crying at work does not even indicate the same emotion. Men are more likely to do the first and women the last because of their innate biological difference, not some kind of super wisdom.

I don't disagree with this statement. Men are more prone to some emotions, women to others. And the way they express those emotions will vary.

No. Having a large social circle is not part of emotional management. It’s just a factor among other, one particularly important. But people don’t choose that, it just happen than women have a bigger circle as they always had and will forever.

I think we will have to agree to disagree here. Social circle isn't something that passively happens to someone. You go out there and build it up so that when you need something there's people there who like you and want to support you, and you do the same for them. I see this is a preemptive step women take for their emotional health that men don't.

[–]OfSpock4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men on here like to claim that women are 'given' a supportive social circle so they don't have to admit that they're shit friends.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think we will have to agree to disagree here. Social circle isn't something that passively happens to someone. You go out there and build it up so that when you need something there's people there who like you and want to support you, and you do the same for them. I see this is a preemptive step women take for their emotional health that men don't.

No. A good comparaison would be wealth. Men are richer than women and they will probably stay so for quite some time. Money is not something you passively build though, you need to get out to build it too. And still, men are richer. Well that’s the same for women and social links, for many reasons. It will always be easier for men to be top earners and women to have larger social circles. But that don’t mean that this is a “preemptive step” men take that women don’t - it’s just the logical consequence of some difference, not even necessarily innate, but in the dynamic interaction of both sexes.

[–]ayeayefitlikeBlueish-Purple Pill Woman9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Punching holes and crying at work does not even indicate the same emotion.

They absolutely can! I’m an angry crier - when I get frustrated I can’t help myself and it’s awful because no one takes your anger seriously when you cry. I wish I had the strength to punch through a wall instead because my anger might actually get taken as seriously as the guys I know who do that instead.

[–]aznphenix2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I fucking hate angry crying. :<

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

No. Having a large social circle is not part of emotional management

Of course it is if you get support and use that in a healthy way to manage problems.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

It is not a strategy. It’s a parameter.

Like being rich is a parameter in being healthy or not, not a strategy.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women have bigger social circles because they seek bigger social circles. Just like they seek the help of those social circles and mental health institutions to help them when they know all isn’t right. Men prefer to bottle things up and then explode later, and some of these men take other people with them in homicide-suicide events, of which the overwhelming majority is men perpetuating.

Anecdotally, I work in healthcare. The number of men that ask for psych referrals is about 1/3rd of the number of women that ask for it. And I get roughly about the same number of depressed men and women that come through the clinic. Women will ask for the referral. For most of the men, I had to offer it to them, and even then, a significant number would refuse.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Sure, and men are also stronger than women because they seek it, I guess. Let’s all invent our own little stupid story to guess why

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You’re comparing two things that aren’t comparable. Men are literarily born with higher muscle mass and strength. No one is born with a big social circle. You actually have to go out and make your friends.

The male refusal to seek emotional, social and mental support and the subsequent consequences of doing so, is simply their own faults.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

No one is born with several dates either and yet somehow women can get them more easily. No one is born with a math textbook and yet men are the majority of math students.

Don’t you understand how sometimes social dynamics influence things like that? Whatever grudge you hold against men is troubling your reflection.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Life is hard all around.

AWALT answer

That’s because when blabla

When women display weakness, society rewards you for it. When men display weakness, society laughs at us. Funny thing is that your answer to this will be denial, because the truth doesn’t resonate well with your feelings

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

When women display weakness, society rewards you for it. When men display weakness, society laughs at us. Funny thing is that your answer to this will be denial, because the truth doesn’t resonate well with your feelings

You don't know my feelings and I actually wouldn't disagree with it. But you can't say in one breath that men need to hide their feelings because society laugh and in the next they are better at handling their feelings. The statements are contradictory.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, men can display some types of weakness, but if we display other types we’re considered ”beta” and looked down upon. Trust me, I’ve been there :) I’ve seen people (especially women) change towards me based on how I’ve handled situations emotionally

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't doubt that. But that sounds like a good reason to shut down your emotions and not deal with them until you explode and punch a wall or murder someone. Which is contrary to the claim OP was making.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be honest, personally I have learned how to deal with my emotions. Redpill helped me doing so, by it's philosophies and ideas. Maintaining healthy habits, combined with a rational thinking and behavior related to life in general and women. To be fair, I'm more towards a purple pill. I don't share every TRP view there is, and there sure is a lot of angry men on TRP, but the consensus of TRP is healthy and helpful to everyone (men as women), if done correctly. What every child need, and I think especially boys, is mentors. Men need stable patriarchal mentors to become the best and strongest version of themselves. This is why kids, especially boys, raised by single mothers statistically have a bigger risk of becoming criminal - they lack healthy patriarchal figures, and probably have a very shitty matriarchal role model.

Now I've gone a bit off topic, but what my point is, is that if more men were to read TRP, society as a whole would benefit from it. My dad was a great role model for me, but he lacked a tiny part that I believe men do need. TRP had the last piece of the puzzle that I lacked, and I do believe TRP possess bigger parts of the puzzle for other men.

But that sounds like a good reason to shut down your emotions and not deal with them until you explode and punch a wall or murder someone

Actually, this is a very interesting point. This is a problem we have as a big in our society. If you haven't heard of Carl Jung and the concept of Shadow Psychology, I recommend that you read up on it! Very interesting, and I believe you might enjoy it.

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (38 children) | Copy Link

How is saying that life is generally hard a refutation to the claim that it is particularly hard for a certain group of people? It isn't mutually exclusive.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband8 points9 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

How is saying that life is generally hard a refutation to the claim that it is particularly hard for a certain group of people? It isn't mutually exclusive.

It was my lazy way of saying just that. But for clarification: Men and women probably have it equally hard in different ways.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

So two groups that are different somehow have it equally hard?

Im not making an argument here, but one or the two has it harder, whether we know which one is irrelevant.

Id make the argument that gender is not a good enough predictor for how hard your life will be to make it relevant. Unlike being poor for example.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

So two groups that are different somehow have it equally hard?

Yes.

Im not making an argument here, but one or the two has it harder, whether we know which one is irrelevant.

Well considering the two groups have different values and goals, I think both can be equally short in achieving those goals.

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said ... we all have our own difficulties.. even rockstars, millionaires and alphas. To think one sex or race or group has it particularly harder then others is to not appreciate the awesome amount of diversity among human beings.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

But on average it wont be exactly equally hard since they are different groups.

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy Link

You can claim that whatever feminine problems are hard in their own way, but in my view, being subjected to physical pain, danger, and risk of death is unequivocally worse than almost anything else (or at least something else that is gender-specific to women).

[–]red__aaron11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men are more likely to die in workplace accidents, women are more likely to be killed by current or former intimate partners. Both of these things are real issues and the solution isn’t to argue who has it worse, but improve workplace safety and take initial harassment complaints more seriously

[–]l3v1athaN_1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I do not agree that these two things are equal. The fact remains that women are biologically conditioned to need some degree of comfort because of the child-rearing process, and that men need to be stronger to support that process. The inevitable conclusion of that is that men have it harder than women in terms of survival. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, but I think it is kind of distasteful to disrespect such sacrifice.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Yes men and women value different things and will there for see different hardships as being "worse than anything else".

[–]l3v1athaN_2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Give an example of a hardship exclusive to women that is worse than potentially putting your life on the line to support your family.

[–]CodyCodeine-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Women are weak. Life is easier for the top 80% of them

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women are weak. Life is easier for the top 80% of them

Kay.

[–]CodyCodeine2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Do you need some statistics? Or are you just going to shut them down and refuse to be open to changing your mind? It seems to be the latter... "Kay"

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's impossible to prove that life is easier for women with statistics because there is no statistical way to measure "easy". So either your going to give me some sketchy blog that's not worth looking at or your going to give me a cluster of serveral studies that you think demonstrates women have an easier life - each of which I would then counter with a different study that shows men have it easier by some different criteria.

So unless you've got something to surprise me I think we can just skip the whole song and dance, Kay?

[–]agree-with-you1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, this does not seem possible.

[–]CodyCodeine 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Show me some proof that men have it easier. We work the tougher jobs, get fucked in divorce court, actually go through with suicide (not just pretending for attention), are shamed by many women the moment we show emotion, can't just sleep our way to the top. I can list so many more. Meanwhile, you're content with saying would you could say, like a dumb bitch. Kay kay

[–]pizza_tron1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's because men use guns and women use other methods. That's all really.

[–]CodyCodeine-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women being less successful at something? Wow, shocker...

[–]EsauTheRed1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, you don’t know what it is like to be a man and be emotionally brutalized

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, you don’t know what it is like to be a man and be emotionally brutalized

I have no idea.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Or rather it's because men are forced to bear more responsibilities, leading them to realize this world is s**t. Why staying in it more than necessary?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Men have never had an easier life in the history of the world. It seems like poor emotional management to me if it's too much for them now.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You're kidding right?

Not only women, thanks to feminism emancipated themselves from many of their traditional tasks while men retained their with less means to do so , but also now women are a serious competition on the workplace.

Are you a man to begin with?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Not only women, thanks to feminism emancipated themselves from many of their traditional tasks while men retained their with less means to do so , but also now women are a serious competition on the workplace.

None of that seems worse than watching everyone you love die of dysentery and pox. Or having to shit in a box outdoors. Or not having central air.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't see your point. You're telling that in old times men had it harder because they rather died young instead of committing suicide?

Your point is twisted to begin with: "it was harder back then, so modern men should stfu". Is that your point?

Also, again, are you a male?

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't see your point. You're telling that in old times men had it harder because they rather died young instead of committing suicide?

Yes.

Your point is twisted to begin with: "it was harder back then, so modern men should stfu". Is that your point?

Didn't say anything about STFU. Just saying there's no reason for them to be suffering significantly more in modern times with all of our food and comforts.

Also, again, are you a male?

No, but it shouldn't matter. Argue with my words not my what's in my pants.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Standards of living being better does not mean that mentally it's easier, particularly now than people are more educated and have more time to reflect on what's going on.

And I asked if you were a male because unless you're working into male shoes like Norah Vincent did for her work on self made man, there is no way you can claim:

Men have never had an easier life in the history of the world

Again, there is a difference between easier access to material comfort and mental comfort.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Standards of living being better does not mean that mentally it's easier, particularly now than people are more educated and have more time to reflect on what's going on.

And I asked if you were a male because unless you're working into male shoes like Norah Vincent did for her work on self made man, there is no way you can claim:

By that logic you can't claim that it's mentally harder to live now than in any other time point in history because you've only ever lived in the now. When you've experienced life as a first century Hun then you can come back and talk to me.

Again, there is a difference between easier access to material comfort and mental comfort.

I disagree. I would 100 times prefer mental discomfort in the safety and warmth of my apartment while playing switch and drinking an old fashioned.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

By that logic you can't claim that it's mentally harder to live now than in any other time point in history because you've only ever lived in the now. When you've experienced life as a first century Hun then you can come back and talk to me.

Good point. That means your whole thread is based on impossible claims.

I disagree. I would 100 times prefer mental discomfort in the safety and warmth of my apartment while playing switch and drinking an old fashioned.

What are you disagreeing with to begin with. I said there is a discrepancy, and you talk about your preferences. I mean ok, thanks for the info...

Secondly, the Maslow ladder, look it up. Just because the bottom ladder is no longer a source of discomfort, does not mean that the rest is not. Mental and emotional distress happen to rich, poor, males, females, etc, indiscriminately, regardless of any arbitrary parameters.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men aren’t forced to bear more responsibilities. Most of the men that do, do so because the rewards are higher for them. The men that work in dangerous jobs do so because the pay is typically higher than if they were to work in less dangerous ones.

Men that take on more responsibilities do so because they want to. Expecting a pat on the back for it and then killing yourself because you didn’t get it, is the definition of lack of emotional maturity.

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No that's simplistic and naive. Men are pressured by peers, family, society, everything, to perform and provide. Yes they aren't forced, but they are heavily pressured, and so in a hostile environment, which trashes on them. They're seen as disposable tools. Don't pretend you care about men.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has nothing to do with whether or not I care about men. Try to refrain from getting emotional. The facts remain that no one is forcing these men to do these things. Women are societally pressured to have children, and pressured from their friends and family too, yet the ones that don’t want to have children, end up not having children because no one is forcing women to have children.

Same with men. They’re not forced to do these things. In fact, a lot of them choose to do it because it has greater rewards than the alternative.

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

I think the alarming male suicide rate is evidence that men do not have their emotions under control.

It might be a factor.. but evidence? that's an incredibly dumb thing to say

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband3 points4 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

It might be a factor.. but evidence? that's an incredibly dumb thing to say

Evidence means 'a factor in support of' not 'definitive proof of'.

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh. my bad!

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

You’re wrong however; you’re saying ’men don’t have control of their emotions’ under the premise that men actually manage to commit suicide (Compared to women, who does it for emotional support).

There are more men who don’t commit suicide than doing so, thus more men who are emotinally stable (following your logic pattern). There are more suicide attempts made by women than men (but they ’fail’, rather do it for hugs), Therefore women are more emotionally unstable (following your logic)

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

You’re wrong however; you’re saying ’men don’t have control of their emotions’ under the premise that men actually manage to commit suicide (Compared to women, who does it for emotional support).

There are more men who don’t commit suicide than doing so, thus more men who are emotinally stable (following your logic pattern). There are more suicide attempts made by women than men (but they ’fail’, rather do it for hugs), Therefore women are more emotionally unstable (following your logic)

Fine but that doesn't explain away crimes of passion.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Crimes aren’t justified by passion. Emotions are the reason we have laws

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Crimes aren’t justified by passion. Emotions are the reason we have laws

Crimes of passion are literally a defense for crime.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_of_passion

And if emotions are the reason for laws, welp, men are more likely to run afoul of almost every law in existence.

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes, because men who aren’t in control of their emotions express it worse than women in general, but in general more women are out of touch with their emotions

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yes, because men who aren’t in control of their emotions express it worse than women in general, but in general more women are out of touch with their emotions

Why do you think that?

[–]donkeydodoI think, therefore I am - No pill, only human0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Biology

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Case by case basis of course. It's different measuring metrics though cuz lets say one person's emotional capacity for suffering, whether physical or "spiritual" which can fall in the lines of mental and emotional ie at best you can do a brain scan and be like look these signals mean <insert narrative>. Point is lets say your breaking point is 30 units of suffering, for simplicity sake, and you hit that breaking point = suicide. Now take someone whose breaking point is 20 units of suffering. The gender suicide debate, which ties into the manosphere, is the idea that society is geared so that a man experiences increased suffering on top of being shamed for expression of it in a way that doesn't look like success ie I took my childhood trauma and turned it into a successful business(very very rare cases and they usually have some sort of trigger moment in their life aka it won't just happen to random victims something happened to change that person). Anyway the idea goes that in terms of just hardware, men are geared to tolerate more, but they are also expected to tolerate more as a result so more social burdens on them. The idea of feminism is cancer that manosphere proposes is loosely translated that more and more expectation has been piled onto the men, without any sort of opposite reciprocal. An example of this is your boss at work giving you more hours or telling you to do weekends, but not compensating you accordingly so your condition as a human in said circumstance will go down, because it is a direct reduction of your freedom=wellbeing, you are working more the trade off of more profit is not there as you would normally expect. Case by case basis of course, but the manosphere narrative is that more is expected of men than ever, with less being given to them(Modern marriage), it will result directly in increased suffering of the class as well as its inevitable death(and following resurrection meaning the red pill is the bastard child of feminism, because there was bad that came with the good and no one knew how or didn't care to consider how the men would be effected, or the women outside of they are now forced into the workforce). Do you need me to explain in terms of pure mathematics or do you need a more emotional explanation? The economics is right in your face of why such things happen, but essentially the simplest emotional way of putting a bad economic deal being the norm is it hurts our feelings when we're treated like beasts of burden running society.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Oh jeeze man can I get a tldr? Or at least some paragraphs or something?

[–]aanarchist1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Tell me where you would have put breaks in paragraphs so I have a frame of reference. Empty passive aggressive complaints are not feedback you're just saying "I don't like it", and that's not enough to work off of because I am not exactly looking to please your sensibilities. If you have the sense to read and process you benefit, if you do not, you do not. If you want to create an actual impact on my format I need real feedback, something more than "I don't like it".

Tldr, the color green.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Tell me where you would have put breaks in paragraphs so I have a frame of reference.

If I'm not going to read it to refute it I'm not going to read it to edit it for you.

Empty passive aggressive complaints are not feedback you're just saying "I don't like it", and that's not enough to work off of because I am not exactly looking to please your sensibilities.

Nothing about that was passive aggressive. I was under the assumption you already knew how to write at the 3rd grade level and were simply being lazy (which is fine, I get lazy too sometimes). I was just asking for an elaboration of sorts.

If you have the sense to read and process you benefit, if you do not, you do not. If you want to create an actual impact on my format I need real feedback, something more than "I don't like it".

I wasn't trying to create an impact bro. I was making a request that would have made debating your actual content easier for me. But let's get hung up on this and hijack the thread instead.

[–]aanarchist1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

See you're just being snarky there's no reason to be that way nor will what you're saying really create impact in anyone. "I was under the assumption you already knew how to write at the 3rd grade level", do you think anyone would take such a statement into consideration? If you have applicable feedback it is welcome, if you're creating hot air well, the conversation is over then.

Here is my elaboration, take 3 minutes to read what is written and make your own decision from there. If the shape of the paragraph was unpleasant to you I'm not really interested in that.

[–]aznphenix2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

paragraphs make it easier to consume content. It's to your benefit just as much as it is to anyone who is reading your words.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes but I can't exactly improve when the only response I get is "wow I can't read this", it's like telling someone they suck at something then not saying anything on how to improve. Should they sit there and feel bad about it then?

[–]aznphenix0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You could just put breaks in some parts of your your text where you feel there's a transition in thought. Look for the biggest transitions if you feel like it's supposed to be one. Long things are hard to read.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It has to be me putting breaks in between parts because this is where I feel others want or would benefit from it. There is literally nothing in it for maybe less people trolling me about how they don't like how the post is shaped, a stupid argument in and of itself.

 

My way It's just a constant stream of consciousness. If the person is smart enough and interested enough they will be engaged by the words start to finish, but I guess that's supposed to be a bad approach. I don't like engaging people emotionally I want them using their brain, and it's important that more people develop a logical capacity and not be ruled by their emotions. Think how deep in your feels you have to be that you can't read something because I don't like how this looks. Taste it and give it a try, read 3-4 lines see how the content actually is.

 

If people judge everything by appearance, frankly they won't benefit from reading anything I have to say anyway because they're not at a stage in their mental development where they can see things beyond face value. But I will try to remember when I can for the spacing. Just irks the living hell out of me to be badgered with such nonsense. I put in the effort to write something for their benefit, and they respond with mindless complaints.

There you go booboo spacing just in case. They were done in consideration for you, not because I felt they belonged there or because I wanted to.

[–]furcryingoutloudRed Pill Man14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Human beings are emotional animals. Controlling those emotions is s chore that is beyond many, many people. Historically, little boys have been taught not to cry. Not to show their emotions lest they are perceived feminine. On the other hand, girls are encouraged to show their emotions as a way to get what they want/need.

Boys, naturally, have to find a way to expend those emotions and they are further encouraged to express them violently. I am sure many of us can remember a moment in time when people among a gathering have laughed and applauded a little boy violently expressing his emotions, or moved by a little girl's emotional outburst.

This, is what we are left with as a society. We have taught boys to be violent and girls to be femininely emotional. Today, we have a discussion about how women are less mature than men because they show their emotions while men do not.

My argument is that none of this is an act of controlling one's emotions. All this is, is the suppression of emotions. Big difference between suppression and control. Everyone acts as they have been taught and groomed to do. No one is really taught how to control their emotions, and claiming that learning to suppress them is an act of maturity is of little service to reality.

Controlling one's emotions is a totally different post.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am sure many of us can remember a moment in time when people among a gathering have laughed and applauded a little boy violently expressing his emotions

I don't think this is a thing. Men are taught to not resort to violence. That's a big part of our culture today. You even see it in movies and TV shows, about channeling your rage, or taking your anger and applying it somewhere productive...

[–]furcryingoutloudRed Pill Man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed, only I didn't go into that evident aspect of this argument to avoid making a wall of a post. In effect, you'd be correct as boys are being taught not to be violent, thereby forcing more repression of their emotions. While girls are becoming more violent because they are not being taught as the boys are.

This may be just me, but I see more public expressions of girls being violent with boys, women being violent with men, than the opposite. Youtube is full of videos of women indiscriminately striking men, than the reverse. Of course, it may also be that men who do beat women do not rush to Youtube to upload videos of them doing it. A point of failure in society by making it acceptable for women to upload such videos when men can't?

I'm wondering if anyone knows of any studies or numbers that touch upon that.

EDIT: Found one! There are many more. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

[–]wtffellification6 points7 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Women are encouraged to vent their emotions, men are not. That's what I know here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

Why do people always use words like "encouraged" or "taught", like there are no intrinsic differences between men and women?

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand where you're coming from. I do think there are intrinsic differences between m&w

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

Most people, even in this sub and thread use a language that makes it seem as if men and women are the same but they're just taught different things.

Men are the gender that hunt/ed and kill/ed other men. I'm sure being less emotional was and still is a biological advantage. Nothing about "being taught" anything.

[–]wtffellification1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

being less emotional

That's not at all what I would conclude from the fact that we have more of a 'hunter instinct'.

What do you think motivates us to be hunters if not emotion?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

A need for survival. Pretty sure that if you saw a deer and started crying about how beautiful it is or if you got PSTD every time you murdered one, or if you lost your shit every time you had a tribal war, then you'd die. Therefore being less emotional was favored for men.

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

Wrong. A 'need' for survival is based on feelings. Pain is your master

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

Emotions and sensations aren't the same.

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

They kind of are though. Nice attempt of trying to disentangle yourself out of this conundurum by the way

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

They kind of aren't. And it's not spelled "corundurum".

Being driven and ambitious is not the same as emotional. You can play some game say you technically consider the emotional imbalance of a woman with the aggressive ambition of a man on the same level playing field and equate the 2, but it's just sophistry.

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both50 points51 points  (153 children) | Copy Link

I disagree, men are not taught how to process their emotions and how to let them out, women are very good at it, they cry, talk to their friends intimately, have support groups etc.

Can you imagine a bloke trying to tell his mates about his feelings? They'll tell him he's a faggot and to fuck off.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes14 points15 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

I can imagine it as it happens quite often. The fact that you don’t recognize that men process their emotions somewhat differently than women speaks to your own bias more than anything else

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both9 points10 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

Tell me how we process our emotions then. I've already said how vastly different men and women process emotions, that's the point of the post

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes10 points11 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

You said men aren’t taught to process their emotions and can’t talk about feelings to other men.

As a man I can tell you this is simply incorrect.

I don’t care how you process your emotions. My reply was that since we process them differently your opinion as to whether we process them well is completely irrelevant.

And yes. We talk to other guys about our feelings and no one gets called a faggot in a serious way. And if a guy gets called that by his male friends it’s usually from a caring perspective and isn’t actually an insult. Sorry to disappoint you

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah i'm going to disagree with you on all accounts here and say no, men are not allowed to talk about their emotions without degrading themselves to other people. The fact that you can't give an example of how to do it just further proves my point, you can pinpoint how women do it, for men it just doesn't exist.

[–]PMmeareasontolive7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men & Women are socialized to process emotions differently and there can be good or bad examples of those differences.

Guy bad: when he is ashamed of his emotions or so out of touch that he doesn't know what they are or how they connect to things in his life.

Examples of reinforcement are the "shut up you fucking pussy" you mention. That comes from women too. My first bumbling experiment with being emotionally vulnerable with a girlfriend resulted in her being turned off and turning away.

Guy good: Sometimes somehow guys get empowered through this process to take responsibility for what they are feeling, to become proactive rather than just repressing. Whatever it is, deal with it.

Woman bad: Women can be encouraged to interpret reality without question entirely based on their emotional response to it. Are you feeling upset? It's not your fault; it's because of something "out there". Did you cheat on your husband? It's obviously his fault, you're just seeking emotional validation (not just strange dick). Perfectly understandable.

Women good: Better communication and bonding with others

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean I can’t give an example ?

I talk about emotions and feelings with other guys all the Time. What example do you want ?

Wanna see text messages between my friends ? Or what ?

And my group isn’t unique.

Pinpoint ? Sure. We talk. About. Feelings. And situations. That. Have. Emotional impacts on us. And how to work through them.

We just usually talk while we do something.

Any other questions ?

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I talk about my emotions all the time.. they are MINE and I’m proud of them.

An example of how... I just say whatever I’m feeling or think at that moment.. I told my wife today actually .. “I love you, thank you for being there for me during the times I wasn’t at my best..” cause that’s what I felt at the moment ..

I texted her 5 mins ago and said .. I feel awesome.. , cause that how I felt at that moment ..

I think RP men focus too hard on being “alpha”.. alpha isn’t how much weights you can lift or how burley or a “mans man “ you are... alpha is being a leader. Being the most comfortable / confident person in the room.. having empathy and caring about the success of others (men and woman) .

Mother Teresa was more “alpha” then a lot of you dudes who try and fit a role that you think you need to fit into to be looked at as a mans man.

I am a computer nerd. I don’t use hammers.. I do zero manual labor.. my hands are soft from lack of “mans work” and I get manicures regularly.. yet I’m also a rockstar male who is in the 1% of men.

It’s not because of how much money I make , or how I look or how much I lift, or how I talk or don’t talk about my emotions.. I’m a rockstar because that’s my mindset.. and with that mindset.. in my mind .. everything that comes out of my mouth is awesome.. whether it actually is or isn’t , isn’t the point.. what IS the point is that whatever comes out of my mouth is ME .. no filter. As long as what I am saying is true to My core authentic self.. then I’m proud I said it.

[–]meivanlee5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This guy gets it..

The MEN who are 110% authentic and comfortable in their own skin don’t give a fuck whether or not someone calls them a fagot .

We are too busy trying to build .. and if part of building is processing your feelings with other like minded men (and woman) then that’s what we gonna do irregardless if lesser developed men or woman judge us.

My feelings are MY feelings .. good and bad that’s part of what makes ME awesome. That’s my mindset at least . Hope this helps

✌🏽 Ivanlee

[–]-OpportunityCost 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would 100% disagree. When I was a senior in high school I became very depressed and started drinking quite a bit. I was a somewhat popular kid in my school in that I was cool with everyone and had lots of friends and attention from girls. I was pretty good at not telling anyone about my depression but when I would drink it would all come out. I only got angry a few times at people, I would mainly break down and cry and try to talk about shit going on. It took me my entire year to learn that men talking about their negative emotions drives people away. At the end of the year I had hardly any friends, I stopped getting invited to parties, I had lost all the attention I would get from girls. Once I went to college I learned to basically just bottle it all up because the consequences just aren't worth it and its just worse when it comes to dating. Maybe when I am older I will agree with you but my experiences have taught me that while it may not be healthy to bottle up your emotions, it will benefit you more from not talking about them.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you’re drinking to be drunk in HS I question a lot more about your life. Including the ability to pick friends

[–]-OpportunityCost 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much every person in high school drinks to be drunk???

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I drank when I was at a party. Not to get drunk.

[–]oftheinfinite 1 points [recovered]  (16 children) | Copy Link

Exactly this. Me and my friends, including my brother-n-law, talk about our feelings and problems when it is necessary. On the other hand, women are always complaining, moaning, bitchin' and crying over everything big and small.

[–]aznphenix4 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

women are always complaining, moaning, bitchin' and crying over everything big and small. It is women who are emotionally immature

Why does that make someone emotionally immature?

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes-1 points0 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Because emotionally mature people control ( as opposed to suppress ) their emotions in a way that allows them to act on them. Bitching isn’t acting.

[–]aretournerPPD = mimophant party5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Bitching isn’t acting.

Yes it is. I understand that to a lot of the people posting here (including you) "bitching" is just the word you use when the person talking about their problems is a woman. But whatever gender the person is, talking about your emotions around a given problem IS acting.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’ll let you know when talking about feelings substitutes acting on them.

Like when you’re scared your patient is going downhill, according to you talking about being scared has the same value as trying to save the life

[–]aretournerPPD = mimophant party5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just read through your whole terrible exchange with sublimemongrel, in which your entire argument hinges on:

a)not acknowledging the actual things you have said and,

b)putting words into her mouth.

You'll note that I didn't say (nor do I believe) that the following is true: "talking about being scared for a sick person has the same value as trying to save their life" (presumably with actions that involve more than talking).

As for 'acting' - once again and yes, talking is an act. Talking about an emotion is an act. So is putting your fist through a wall. So is leaving the room and going for a walk to cool down. So is writing down your emotions.

You're just another poster here with no ability to defend an actual position (and, apparently, no ability to even recognize what another person is saying in an argument) and I won't be going further with you based on that convo i just saw with sublime. Have a nice night.

[–]aznphenix1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Okay that assumes they don't also act on them, why can't they bitch about something. why does bitching itself make someone emotionally immature.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Because if it was a mature reaction people wouldn’t call it bitching. We all know the difference.

[–]aznphenix1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Apparently we don't tho, because i know people who bitch and whine about shit and then get shit done. What is it called when there's action after the bitching and whining.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My oldest friends “wife” is pregnant with their second child. We talked about how scary and exciting that is for him and how he worries about their ( kids ) futures. Yah. No feelings.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Maybe thats why a lot of men get all feely when drunk. I know i do. Suddenly i dont feel the need to suppress my emotions to keep my integrity or pride.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense to me. Meanwhile my husband just gets....weird when he’s drunk lol.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Like he said. Emotional.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh he doesn’t really get emotional just strange lol

[–]sturbine 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stuff happens when you turn off the peripheral cortex lmao

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s fascinating really

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Deets pls

🤓

[–]meivanlee-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Good point .. also notice how most men do better with girls when they are drunk... it’s because when you are drunk you are generally closer to being your true authentic self.. woman (and men) gravitate to ppl who are authentic and comfortable in their own skin..

A lot of us where a mask when we are sober..

Be your TRUE self.. drunk or sober ;)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that has more to do with the fact that alcohol makes you more fearless to everything in general

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're drunk self is your true self then you have some issues that you need work through.

Most people regret things that they do when they're drunk, not the other way around.

[–]yaseedog will hunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

maybe it's also that when you are drunk, the people around you are also often drunk

[–]reluctantly_red6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Women punish men who openly process their emotions.

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As do their fathers, by being emotionally unavailable to their sons.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The fact that lack of sex is punishment to men just speaks to the level of emotional immaturity that men have.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, lack of sex is extremely bad for the male mental health, especially if it is involuntary.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ergo, emotionally immature men.

[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Or, it speaks to a basic understanding of incentives, which you apparently lack.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol no.

Feeling like you’re being punished because no one wants to touch your dick is emotional immaturity. There really isn’t much else to it.

[–]the_calibre_cat-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again with the misunderstanding of incentives, smh.

[–]CodyCodeine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Big facts

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not true. Woman LOVE man who are certainly enough to say whatever is on their mind.

[–]vezokpiraka4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did you just shit on the 50% of people who are introverts? That's not a gender thing, it's a personality trait. They don't talk to anyone about their problems, because they don't want to. I've seen both men and women do this.

Also I'm not sure what you are why you are trying to make it seem like men don't talk about their emotions to each other or make fun of them. We don't do it often, but when there is something bugging us we tell the whole friend group and share opinions on how to act. I don't think I've ever came out with a problem to my group of friends and got laughed at.

[–]whitetrashcarlselfish ghost1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They'll tell him he's a faggot and to fuck off.

Right they’re saying you’re being weak, quit being weak, we aren’t here to indulge your stupid feeling shit

[–]poopidydoopscoop1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes and no. You will be told to fuck off but any m8 worth their salt is going to listen and offer their advice/perspective. Unless you're hanging out in the uber-macho bro-dude clicks most men will turn to each other in hard times.

We just typically don't make a big stink out of it and turn our emotions into attention seeking exercises :)

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 4 points5 points  (92 children) | Copy Link

men are not taught how to process their emotions

I think it's the other way around.

Women are the ones always dumping their baggage onto other people

They are spoiled by society so they never learn how to be responsible and handle their emotions properly.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

You are kind of espousing the view that emotions are stupid or at least an inconvenience and that they should be kept inside and that this is the mature way of dealing with emotions.

This isn't the mature way of dealing with emotions, it is called repression and it means that given time, the emotions will come out anyway and usually with more force and not always tied to the problem at hand but stemming from simmering traumas quietly burning from the inside.

In my experience, men are every bit as emotional as women, they just repress when it is daily struggles but can go competely haywire when faced with the big ones, or even a seemingly small issue tangentially connected to a repressed trauma. Worst, and this is the part where men and women actually really differ is an unwillingness to consider that something might have been an overreaction and an unwillingess to talk over issues and miscommunications when the dam has broken and mending is on the table.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] -1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

What I'm doing is challenging this notion. I'm sure some men (and women) repress their emotions. But I don't think that explains why men appear to be more stable on the outside.

I think men are literally better at handling their emotions, and that's why they display them less. They're better at moving on. They're better at forgiving people. They're better at not sweating the small stuff. And they're better at fixing things that bother them.

The fact that a woman complains so much proves that she hasn't yet dealt with what's bothering her. Women stay angry for weeks, and will bother anyone she can find with her problems, often holding grudges and not letting things go for decades.

Men move on. Men don't let things bother them. Men don't hold grudges, seek out revenge, and throw fits over tiny problems that they face in their lives. This isn't proof that men do not address their emotions, or that they supress them in an unhealthy way. It's proof that men are perfectly capable of handling their emotions, that they do it on a day to day basis, and that they handle their emotions more maturely than women do.

[–]LillizsomdNo Pill11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry, but none of this is based in fact. Men and women can both be grudge holders, or not. Men are taught to suppress their emotions, and women are generally not, but I don't think the tendency to show emotion necessarily connects to the ability to let things go. I'm fact, I would posit the opposite view.

Because women can express and work through their emotions, they are more likely to forgive and let go, than is a man who holds it in forever, silently stewing on how he has been wronged. Perhaps this is why so many mass shootings are perpetrated by men, why they tend to be stalkers more than women, and other things of that nature.

I don't necessarily hold the viewpoint I expressed above, but it seems just as likely as the opinion you are trying to pass off as fact.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men and women can both be grudge holders, or not.

Women are the masters at holding grudges and being petty. I know this is basically an opinion, but it is widely acknowledged by society, both men and women alike (in fact, women very often are the first ones to admit this).

I've known women to literally holde grudges for decades, and to stay angry about things for weeks.

Men really do seem more likely to forget about something and let it go. Like I know if I'm upset about something, I'll be over it in a matter of hours, if not a day or so.

I've had women though in a relationship fuming about things for weeks, and then bring it up six months later out of nowhere (minor things, mind you, things that would never upset a man, but will send a woman into a rage).

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men really do seem more likely to forget about something and let it go. Like I know if I'm upset about something, I'll be over it in a matter of hours, if not a day or so.

That's nice. Back here on planet earth, I am married to a man who has held grudges for decades.

[–]LillizsomdNo Pill3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree that women tend to hold grudges more and bottle up anger more than men. But have you ever thought about why that is?

Men are allowed to express anger, indeed they are encouraged to do so from a young age. Women on the other hand, grow up being told to calm down, be quiet, act like a lady. So we learn that being loud and angry is unacceptable, so in turn we learn to suppress our anger, and it gets let out in ways that are sneaky and quiet. Like the catty behavior you see in female altercations, or the silent treatment common in romantic relationships.

I think if it was as acceptable for us to yell and punch inanimate objects, we could express our anger and then move on as quickly as men get to. Anger is the one emotion that men are allowed to express freely, and also the one emotion that is largely denied to women.

As a man, you will never know how frustrating it is to be angry and have people (read: men) ask you if you're on your period, or tell you to stop acting like a psycho bitch. All for the same expressions of anger that no one will even comment on in a male.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can sympathize with that, and in fairness I really don't want to blame women for anything, or pretend that men are perfect.

I mainly just disagree with this narrative about men bottling things up or not being able to handle their emotions properly.

It's funny you bring up yelling though, because that's almost stereotypical of women. I know not all women do it, but it is very common (a lot of them deny it though and give you this thing about, "do you really want me to start yelling? Because I can!", but lets be honest, you're raising your voice in anger and trying to talk over top of people; call it whatever you want, but I call it yelling).

[–]LillizsomdNo Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are right about the yelling! I'm such a quiet woman that I forget how incredibly loud and obnoxious some women are. I don't associate women's yelling with anger the same way I do when men get loud though for some reason.

[–]mwait0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You actually believe women are better at letting things go than men??

[–]LillizsomdNo Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, not necessarily. I think neither is better at that. I think men are better at appearing to let things go, whereas women show their battle to get over things more openly.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men move on. Men don't let things bother them. Men don't hold grudges, seek out revenge, and throw fits over tiny problems that they face in their lives.

The entire RP is evidence that this is absolute bullshit.

[–]Shazoa14 points15 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

It isn't dumping baggage on other people, it's being mutually supportive. It isn't a negative.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What's really more healthy though? Being emotionally stable, lashing out every now and, but generally taking care of things? Or constantly being on the edge, ready to cry, throw a temper tantrum, get upset, and stay upset (often taking out revenge), while you don't do anything to fix your problem, and instead try to place that burden on other people?

Ever see two guys get into a fight and then grab a beer afterwards? Ever see a petty, bitchy, whinny woman do the same? I've seen women mention that they're still mad at another woman because of something that happened in highschool, more than ten years ago. How is that healthy? How is that being emotionally mature? Men forgive and forget. Women hold grudges and create problems.

[–]panzershark15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

petty, bitchy, whinny woman

There is a difference between a 'petty, bitchy, whiny woman' than a woman who is emotionally stable, just as there is a difference between petty, bitchy, whiny men and emotionally stable men.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sure there is, but people are trying to say that women who lash out publicly are somehow handling their emotions better than a man who doesn't (he's "bottling it up").

I think whining, being petty, bothering other people with your problems, etc, is evidence that you haven't handled your emotions properly, not that you are somehow "more in touch" with them.

[–]LillizsomdNo Pill12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think there is quite a large difference between women who "lash out publicly," (not even 100% sure I know what you mean by that) and women who express their feelings to trusted friends, family, or significant others.

Just like there is a huge difference between a man who pretends he has no emotions, to better portray his idea of the stoic, masculine hero he wants to be seen as, and the man who can express his emotions and resolve the issues causing them.

People can be equally emotionally intelligent and still express those feelings in different ways. It doesn't automatically make one method or the other superior. And you basically saying that never expressing emotion is more emotionally mature than letting those emotions out with trusted peers is laughable.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My point is the same regardless of what adjectives you throw at it.

The idea I've seen is that men don't express their emotions as much, while women do. Women aren't being petty and whining too much, they're expressing their emotions. Men aren't in control of their emotions, they just bottle them up.

I think this narrative is contrived and what we're really looking at is a difference in emotional maturity, or at the very least, a difference in how men and women handle their emotions (I actually don't buy that men never express their emotions, I just think they do it without being whinny and crying and things like that... men move on, maybe get advice, solve their problems, lay down grudges, etc).

[–]panzershark2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll have to elaborate what you mean by 'lash out publicly.' Making a scene is not handling something in a mature manner. Most people in general do not like to make a scene in public. Those are the ones who are actually emotionally unstable probably.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s a hug party and then you girls go talk shit about each other. Ok friends with too many women in daily life to have anyone tell me otherwise

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy Link

Women are constantly handling men's emotions in ways they don't even notice.

[–]rio_gambles 1 points [recovered]  (11 children) | Copy Link

Could you elaborate on that?

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy Link

When your man is in a bad mood you obviously want to cheer him up, but you can't make it obvious you're trying to do that, because then it's like you're pressuring him to feel better and that just makes him feel bad about feeling bad, IDK maybe it's just me.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I mean men do the same thing for women, maybe not "covertly", but most men have experiences in relationships of trying to calm down a moody girlfriend, buying flowers and trying to "weather the storm", etc.

Women need constant emotional attention in a relationship, like it gets kind of ridiculous sometimes.

"Stacy did what?".

...

"She called you fake?"

...

"What does that even mean?"

...

"So now you're not talking to her?"

...

"Haven't you been friends since grade school?"

...

"Yeah sure Stacy definitely deserve that... Ok I'll take her off my Facebook."

[–]allweknowisD11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I’ve literally never had a conversation with any woman in my life that started with any of those statements.

This all seems very stereotypical American movie/sitcom bullshit to me

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I mean I don't know what to tell you.

One of my last girlfriends introduced me to one of her friends since at least like highschool.

Out of nowhere though she apparently called her fake and they haven't spoken since.

I was kind of bummed out by it because I liked her (as a friend of course) and the two of them got along together really well. Like it was kind of heartbreaking that they had a falling out.

And then I can't count how many times I've removed people from Facebook because the girl I was with told me too. That always rubs me the wrong way but I've learned not to fight it when it happens lol (it's never any of my friends, always hers that I've met at some point).

[–]allweknowisD9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe what you should be telling yourself is that your anecdotal experiences don’t make an argument for 50% of the population.

I’ve seen nothing from you other than “I believe this”

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Talk to other guys. Our experiences aren't unique.

And like I said before, women are often the first ones to admit to a lot of this anyway. I've even seen female comedians talk about this during their standup routines (I've seen male comedians do the same -- it's actually a fairly common topic -- but it carries a little more weight when it comes straight from the horses mouth, so to speak).

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

None of the women in my life are like that, and you know why? Because if someone annoys me, I don't talk to them again. If needy women annoy you, next them until you find a woman that's not needy. If I can find multiple low-maintenance female friends then you can find 1 low-maintenance girlfriend.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because if someone annoys me, I don't talk to them again.

That's kind of my point actually.

I hate to say this, but that is a little immature.

I have guy friends who annoy me but I still tolerate them. No need to give them the silent treatment, or go behind their backs about something. I usually strive to find common ground and can honestly get along with just about anyone.

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For the people that learned you can screen your social group for people that aren’t tedious fucks, and thus only have friends that aren’t tedious fucks, the idea of tolerating a tedious fuck just because they lived down the street from you as a kid or hung out with you during high school is unappealing.

Generally most people hit that point by age 30 if they’re developing normally.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She made him food so he's not hangry lol

At least that's what most women think.

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both15 points16 points  (59 children) | Copy Link

lol no, women definitely have this emotion thing worked out way better then men

What is the proper way? Because what men do definitely isn't, I find that women are able to use others to process their emotions whilst us guys just push them to one side and do the "if I can't see it it's not there" thing.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (58 children) | Copy Link

what men do definitely isn't

Our sexist, gynocentric society tells us that women have a better handle on their emotions, but all it does is encourage them to use other people and dump their problems on other people, instead of handling them on their own.

Men handle their own problems and then also the problems of women who would rather be selfish and find a man to fix things for them, rather than take responsibility for themselves.

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both14 points15 points  (57 children) | Copy Link

Men internalising their own emotions then trying to solve other peoples issues is what causes us to crack. Like I said before, we have no release and that damages us, this whole psudeo macho thing of "I'm a lone wolf I don't need anyone" is what is wrong with us.

It's toxic for our mental health and society has normalised it so we cannot change how we do things without having a nasty label attached to us and that hurts a guys pride.

[–]ineDeni 1 points [recovered]  (56 children) | Copy Link

Also, male suicide rates are 5 times higher than women's, I think this is connected.

[–]tiger1296A little bit of both6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's already been addressed in this thread but men and women both attempt suicide at a similar rates, it's just the methods they employ that mean guys actually die from it, like shooting themselves and hanging themselves rather then try to OD on pills or slit their wrists which can be salvageable if found.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not though. Men are more successful at committing suicide, but women attempt it just at much, if not slightly more than men do.

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes-3 points-2 points  (53 children) | Copy Link

Yea. Men succeed at the things they do far better than women. Even in suicide

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.12 points13 points  (52 children) | Copy Link

Why would you state this like it’s something to be proud of? I will never understand the attitude of ha see men are so much better they are even better at killing themselves. That’s some morbid fucked up attempt at a “gotcha women!”

[–]Taipanshimshonhere for the downvotes0 points1 point  (51 children) | Copy Link

No. It just shows we mean what we feel. And don’t half ass things.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.5 points6 points  (38 children) | Copy Link

There are both positive and negative assumptions you could make about the character of “men” based upon suicide rates. They are all massively speculative of course but that has never stopped terps from drawing the conclusions they do.

There is nothing overall worthwhile in painting male suicide stats as some sort of positive thing overall.

[–]allweknowisD5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

It’s more that women attempt suicide through less violent measure. Like how female killers are more likely to kill through less violent measures.

It’s not about being successful or not. It’s just how the sexes go about violence

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Summing it up. Women are left to show their feelings to society without repriment. Men don't. So?

Also who said male friends do not let men show feelings? We do, just at proper times. What do you think we do at bars at weekends? Or when we game together?

We know the consequences of showing feelings in front of women so we help them by not letting them do it.

Who is the idiot which would let his friend show emotions in front of a woman? This is no real friend. I would consider such man or inexperienced or he is not really my friend.

[–]mwait0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah having a meltdown and crying about what a meanie your boss is sounds super mature lol

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not true

[–]WhatIsTheMeaningHere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

men are not taught how to process their emotions and how to let them out

I don't think emotions work this way. As I've gotten my diet in check and work out and get shit done when it needs to be done, I haven't found myself feeling much of anything in a negative capacity. "Letting out" an emotion is just a time waste because it makes you dwell on it longer than needed when you should just continue to do things as you would normally do them if the emotion wasn't there to make it go away.

[–]themanmohr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you know that letting their emotions out is a good thing it might be very bad for people as individuals and society as a whole there’s probably a reason men are conditioned to keep them under control and in my experience every time I or someone else lets them out it is unproductive and makes the whole situation worse and I have the suspicion that it’s women that conditioned men to behave this way not other men because women are immediately turned off by a man who cries in front of her it creates more of the image of a child or brother delegating them as just friends rather than the masculine man who can control his emotions and is generally considered sexually desirable And I think you’d be surprised how much dudes actually talk about their emotions in private it’s usually just more in a indirect manner and it often takes the form of self deprecating humor essentially facing the emotional hang up and defeating it rather than dwelling on it

[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can you imagine a bloke trying to tell his mates about his feelings? They'll tell him he's a faggot and to fuck off.

I talk about my feelings with my mates all the time. It's women that I don't talk about my feelings with, because they judge.

[–]quasirealikecreature5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ultimately, like everything else, it depends on the people. I like Carl Jung's idea of cognitive functions for this very reason. Everyone thinks and everyone feels. What kind and in what order vary depending on the people.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

...men don't lash out and dump their problems on to other people the way women do.

...women can't deal with things on their own and have to vent...

Stress is everywhere and it comes from very many things. There's literally no way you can standardize the concept of stress and then claim that the way men handle it makes them more emotionally mature than women. If you take this standardization to its logical conclusion, someone with PTSD would be told this: "Stop being a whiny little bitch, I dropped my phone down the toilet and I handled that problem just fine!"

Also, you seem to think that solipsism in problem solving is a virtue, which is only applicable in certain circumstances, like trying to figure out what shade of purple you're seeing when you have colorblindness. Problem solving, especially when it comes to emotional matters, is more often a team effort. WHY DO YOU THINK MARRIAGES EXIST, DUDE? From a religious perspective, the team you're building with your spouse ought to be so powerful that the other becomes you. If you fuck over this person, you're fucking over yourself. You can take the spiritual stuff out of the equation, sure, but the need for teamwork when it comes to this stuff still applies.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer19 points20 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

CMV: Men aren't out of touch with their emotions; men are simply more emotionally mature

This is why they sometimes get all bent out of shape when their sports team loses. I mean, everyone knows how important sports are!

[–]rhyth78 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's cool to get excited about your team, it's not cool to get into fistfights and start riots cuz your team lost lmao.

[–]aretournerPPD = mimophant party0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

it's not cool to get into fistfights and start riots cuz your team lost lmao.

Unless it's hockey. Then it's the rational course of action.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or any sport in Detroit, because it's an excuse to burn half the city down. I hear the last riot did $1.4 million in improvements ...

[–]Reverend_VaderSith Lord2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've always felt sports are the one area where it is socially acceptable for a man to be openly emotional, which is why many of us lose our shit if our team beats a rival or loses to them

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not as important as watching tv and shopping obviously.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Idk I think it's a minority of men that get bent out of shape over that kind of thing.

A lot of guys just give a casual interest in sports and discuss it more of an academic level than anything else (who should have won, who's coach has more experience, etc).

[–]panzershark14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

See: Philadelphia when the Eagles win OR lose

Please tell me that the majority of those riots are started by women upset that the Eagles lost.

[–]DominemmBlack Girl, Purple World7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not a minority of men dude. Make your way to r/NFL this weekend during the playoffs and have a look.

[–]BleuBird1814 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah... There are never any violent and repeated issues as a result of sporting events around the world. /s

[–]xKalistoSAHM of Yurop4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

discuss it more of an academic level than anything else

"I fucked ur mom."

Much academic, such mature.

[–]aretournerPPD = mimophant party1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This OP is honestly starting to smell like a bloop troll.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

casual interest in sports

Lol!

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

Well would you look at this (generally frowned upon) exception to the rule. Welp, let's just throw the rule out of the window.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

What rule? No one has established a “rule” here.

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

OP made a claim, someone responded with an isolated example that goes against the claim, I jumped in and said that's an exception to the rule i.e. going against the trend. You can disagree that the trend is a thing if you want.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think anyone has shown a “rule” that is why I asked you “what rule”

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Read the OP, then read my reply to you again.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You’re the one who said it. So either explain what you mean or don’t. All you’ve said makes it sound like you agree some rule has been established

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

The "rule" is referring to the anecdotal claim that OP made. Honestly the fact I have to point that out to you is embarrassing.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wanted you to confirm what you meant rather than just assuming. I personally do not just believe things random people say about these topics without anything else.

[–]l3v1athaN_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought it was clear I agreed with OP, that's why I referred to his claim as the rule and the other guy's example as an exception to that.

[–]xKalistoSAHM of Yurop2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Riiiight because LOL gas been known as such pleasant game full of rational mature gentlemen. Among other popular rage machines.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean I don't really think it's true anyway.

A bit of small talk and banter about the game won't kill anyone. I say this as someone with very little interest in sports myself... As I've gotten older I've realized it's a lot less serious than what people project it as. It's more of an excuse to just hang out and have something to talk about than anything else.

Besides, women have their own tribal vices. Just look at how they cried and threw a fit when Hillary Clinton lost the election (I say this also as someone who supported Hillary / Bernie in the election, so it's not like I have an axe to grind).

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

sports is about competition. It's just men nature to compete on a variety of levels.

[–]Bekiala5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That is kinda what I think everytime I read a police blotter, "The rational half of the species doing what they do."

[–]Monk095e2f5a0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

From the OP -

the fact that women can't deal with things on their own and have to vent and otherwise turn their problems into other people's problems, proves fairly conclusively that women are less able to handle their emotions, and are overall less emotionally mature

Hmmm ... I'll just leave this here -

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/285:_Wikipedian_Protester

Transcript -

[There is a politician speaking at a podium, which sports an American flag. There are four red stars on the side of the platform.]

[In front of the speaker, there is a crowd of people listening. In the middle of the crowd, Cueball is standing up and holding a sign reading "[CITATION NEEDED]" in blue underlined text, as in Wikipedia articles.]

[–]Bekiala1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a bit confused here Monk. Seriously I'm not even too sure what emotional maturity looks like. I have heard that people who start medicating their emotions with drinking when they are young never mature emotionally but again, I can't really come up with a definition of emotional maturity.

What I wrote above was something that gave me a giggle when I was young. I grew up in a ski town so probably more men and the police blotter always (that I saw) had more men in it . . . but you know, ski town.

[–]Monk095e2f5a0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ms Bekiala,

I guess my main thought is that, being a bit of a science groupie concerning fields that contain quantifiable data, some of the wording in the OP just seems awfully fuzzy to me. Granted, I am certainly guilty of fuzzy wording myself sometimes.

Not always the case, but many times "throwing some numbers" at a problem can be helpful, if done in a systematic manner. Instead of making a poorly supported grand sweeping statement, a statistical study of something quantifiable like "EQ" could be performed, across various populations and cohorts of interest. Whatever "emotional maturity" means, perhaps it could be proxied as either EQ, or something similar like EI or EL or EIQ.

Without such a numerical analysis, I could just as easily provide a description very different from OP, based on the fact that all of my female friends, family members, and co-workers are highly "emotionally mature." Which - waving hands here a bit - perhaps means things like "I like them" and "they are good people" and "I have great respect for them" and "they never send me to my room for not doing my chores" and other nebulous and fuzzy and non-quantified things like that.

Or you could use your own - different from mine - description that is also different from OP, based on the fact that a past environment with which you are familiar contained "many" men with apparently low "emotional maturity" (and/or perhaps low impulse control).

We could go on and on providing anecdotal examples without any numbers.

I mean .. . I could randomly string lots of words together to support just about any political agenda for which I have an ax to grind, but would it be true? Hence the "citation needed."

My second thought (after "citation needed") was "not even wrong" - an argument or explanation that purports to be scientific but is based on invalid reasoning or speculative premises that can neither be proven correct nor falsified.

Hmmm .. . I am certainly not a subject matter expert on this topic, but I'm having difficulty thinking that the premise behind the OP statement has been proven. Am I missing something here? Thanks!

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (33 children) | Copy Link

Adult men are more moody and emotional than teenaged girls on their periods. They really don't suppress their emotions at all, I mean maybe they try but they usually fail.

[–]panzershark8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, my ex.

Stare at someone for too long? He would pout and throw a fit and stonewall me. If I ask him to commit 10 minutes of his day to help me clean? More pouting and yelling.

[–]neualgae 1 points [recovered]  (27 children) | Copy Link

This. Men lose their shit all the time, but we just don't consider angry men to be "emotional". There's research on it, ex: http://thescienceexplorer.com/humanity/angry-men-seen-powerful-women-emotional-study-finds

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 2 points3 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Find me a study about who cries the most, who throws more temper tantrums, who is the more petty gender, who's more likely to gossip or spread lies or take revenge on someone else, etc.

Women are incredibly violent, just in their own self serving ways.

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy Link

Except for crying, men do all those things more than women and they do them while masturbating about how logical and stoic they are.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

I don't think this is supported by anything.

Women get mad over the smallest, dumbest things, and then contemplate how best to seek revenge on other people.

Men never go to the lengths that women do to get back at people. Man also tend to not stay angry as long as women do. Women go off the rails over something tiny, and then stay mad for weeks, whereas a man reacts at that moment, and gets over it straight away.

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy Link

Hmm here is a short list of things different men have gotten mad at me for:

  • Liking a book he didn't like
  • Calling him cute, men aren't supposed to be cute or something
  • He sucks at assembling Ikea furniture and somehow that's my fault
  • NOT going through his phone (if I really cared about him, I would?)

I could go on but I won't.

[–]Pikachu___2000 1 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you get with a bunch of beta males. That shit above is petty and reeks of insecurity.

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (11 children) | Copy Link

I agree most men are horribly insecure.

[–]maplehobo7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most people are insecure, men are just expected to not be or at least hide it better

[–]Mickusey 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

That’s why the red pill exists, so alpha men can be made to fuck girls like you right

It’s always the empowered feminists that are most into being sexually degraded and treated like shit by someone they view as superior. That’s true for any uptight chick I guess tho

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't make things personal.

[–]TheSuperStink 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

Haha.

Red pill isn’t alpha. It’s beta with makeup.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can see getting mad over Ikea furniture.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of those examples were just him giving you a hard time though, or if there was more to the story than just that (or if he was just kind of crazy... I'm not here to necessarily judge your examples, but I will say I can tell you a story about how an ex got mad because I bought her flowers, there's just more to the story than just that).

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Half of emotional intelligence is understanding what sort of teasing is funny, and what sort of teasing just hurts feelings. It’s emotionally awkward people who put their feet in their mouths and don’t understand why people always get “mysteriously” upset around them.

[–]neualgae 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

k

who cries the most

Women, but I'm not convinced this is an unhealthy way of dealing with emotions.

who throws more temper tantrums, who is the more petty gender

Can't find appropriate studies on this in either direction

who's more likely to gossip

Thirty-three percent of men indulge in mobile gossip every day or almost every day, compared with twenty-six percent of women.

(unrelated but amusing: "Males were certainly found to be no more likely to discuss 'important' subjects such as politics, work, art, academic matters, etc. than women – except (and this was a striking difference) when women were present.")

spread lies

Men lie nearly three times a day compared to around twice a day for women, according to a new survey

take revenge on someone else

Men hungrier for revenge than women, brain scan study reveals

I have no interest in picking these studies apart, but since you asked. Your posts read a bit like you don't get out too much and are basing your ideas of men on some idealized masculinity that you aspire to, and your ideas of women on that one girl in high school who rejected you and things you've read on TRP.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] -5 points-4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I can't look at all of this right now, but I do think I've seen similar research about telling lies before (there is a different between telling a lie, and spreading a lie about someone else though).

unrelated but amusing: "Males were certainly found to be no more likely to discuss 'important' subjects such as politics, work, art, academic matters, etc. than women – except (and this was a striking difference) when women were present."

I've noticed this myself. A lot of women just aren't interested in that kind of stuff. Like I'll bring up a more serious topic with a woman and she'll hate it, she'll think it's boring, and will want to talk about something else. You just get used to not having intellectually simulating conversations with women, even after you've been with them for years (that's why guys stereotypically want "guy time" apart from their wife / girlfriend). I hate to phrase it this way, but it's like a lot of women don't even operate on that kind of level and can't think about things in an abstract, detached manner.

They would rather talk about celebrities, their friends, their plans, or mundane details about their lives, instead of science, academics, religion, etc. Most won't go any further than politics, and even that is usually limited to things that effect them directly, or things they find amusing about politicians.

[–]historyhillBlue Pill Wife10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait, how do your second and third paragraphs relate at all to the quoted content? The quoted content says that men are just as uninterested in politics/philosophy/work/art/etc as women are believed to be, except for when women are around them (suggesting that the only time men talk about "important topics" is to impress women). That has literally nothing to do with your anecdotes about women's supposed preferences for conversational topics.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

honestly: the women probably don't want to discuss those things with you because you're not intellectually stimulating. i have guys in my life who try to steer conversations into deeper water but they don't have the depth to sustain it so its painful listening to them blather

[–]OfSpock5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men and their didactic "My opinion is right and yours is wrong" can make a discussion on what could be an interesting subject into a boring lecture.

[–]aretournerPPD = mimophant party4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've noticed this myself.

Lol. The linked study says something entirely different.

it's like a lot of women don't even operate on that kind of level and can't think about things in an abstract, detached manner.

Dudes like you (i.e. dudes making the unthinking assumption that your strong feelings about something being true = the thing being true) coming here to talk about women's lower capacity to discuss intelleksheral matters will never not be fucking hilarious.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They really are.

In fact, one of my exes literarily once asked me to “nag” him. No joke. He was upset because I just said “ok” after he refused to take some medicine that was prescribed for him.

He thought that it was my job to nag him about the things he should be doing, and me not doing so meant that I didn’t care about him.

A lot of the men I’ve met depend on women, specifically their SOs, so much for emotional hand holding. Once they get into a relationship with you, they expect you to become their emotional sponge and so they lay out all the things that they had been holding on for ages and have repressed, unto you. You literarily become their only source of emotional bonding because they refused to build healthy social circles that they can share these things with.

It’s why men take break ups so much harder than women.

[–]JustForPPD 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Exhibit of entitled and condescending woman who would run crying to the closest man in case of society collapse.

[–]damaskrose 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol that doesn't sound like an emotional woman, that sounds like a woman pragmatically manipulating men into taking care of her.

[–]Eartherry2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We're supposed to let our emotions out. All of them. If we're not it's because we're afraid or ashamed, which might as well be fear and shame for being human.

[–]meivanlee2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes .. more fearless to be ones true self..

[–]meivanlee2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I only regret the times I am NOT my true self..

For example.. I’d rather be drunk and tell someone how I really feel then be sober and wear a mask.

That said I don’t really drink (like once a month if that).

The key is to be your 110% true , raw self.. think russel brand.. drink or not , he doesn’t wear a mask.. he speaks as if he is drunk , when it comes to him being his true self and saying what he truly feels.

[–]Scully_400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He might even be some kind of insane genius, I think. What a gem

[–]LordRuby2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is that why men do 85% of the murders?

[–]madcockatielAlpha Bird, Slayer of Cloaca4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m sure this is true of some men, but not men on the whole. Men simply tend to lash out in different ways than women do. For example shouting or hitting things, rather than crying. On the flip side, stoicism can be a sign of emotional maturity, but it’s usually a sign of someone who is much less emotionally mature than they fancy themself, whose unresolved issues will eventually leak or explode out in one way or another.

[–]Scully_400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

👏👏👏

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol yeah, making up the vast majority (basically almost 80%) of suicides must be due to all that “emotional maturity”.

At least women talk to other people about it, men just blow their heads off. Literarily.

[–]Brazilian_Slaughter3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Emotion is shit. Stoicism ftw.

[–]TheSuperStink 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stoicism is emotion held in. It causes stress and heart problems.

No thanks.

[–]ashyboyeRed Pilled Child2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell that to Marcus Aurelius.

[–]Brazilian_Slaughter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just eliminate emotion, dissolve it into nothingness.

[–]shanghaiwill 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women get confused here a lot. Men are perfectly in touch with their emotions, they're just usually not in touch with your emotions.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This thread is tagged CMV so top level comments must counter at least one of OPs points. Please feel free to repost your comment under the automod.

[–]PanderjitSingh_k 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s what feminism does. Inverts reality by applying its ‘man bad, woman good/victim’ lens and then require its adherents ignore all contrary evidence no matter how irrefutable.

It’s a hate movement like many before it.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This thread is tagged CMV so top level comments must counter at least one of OPs points. Please feel free to repost your comment under the automod.

[–]mortsdans 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

At the new years party I was at, literally every woman was creating some sort of problem. Crying, fighting, puking, talking shit to other woman, driving drunk etc. The men were having fun, and trying to make sure the woman didn't drive. Yea based on my own observations OP is right about this one.

[–]Oncefa2SJW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You make a good point but it will be deleted if you don't move it under the automod.

[–]jenovajunkieNot Your Average MRA1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can't cry during war. You'll die, or cause others to.

[–]volcy1011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

-le me board af looking for something to do -see's this pop up on my home page -leaves to get popcorn

[–]Ladyofblades1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The majority of men Ive come across who I’ve seen tested are overwhelmingly more prone to throwing temper tantrums and not exerting control in the fashion we’d expect from a leader. Passive aggressiveness, being petulant, snappish, undignified, childish, throwing insults during what should be civilized arguments, storming off or reacting violently, you name it. A lot of men imagine themselves to be controlled and magnanimous under pressure but reality belies the truth.

Which is why true self control has to be taught/inculcated. It doesn’t come naturally to any but the born leaders (or if you might say alphas) among men. I have great admiration for the guys who are not only unruffled and calm under pressure but take control of the moment when everyone else is losing control, and do so in a positive way where everyone comes out a winner. It’s certainly something I look for as a positive masculine trait. Can be taught/learned, but rare nonetheless.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree but I would say it is true irrespective of sex. We see early feminist frustration with the emotional incompetency of the hyper-feminine woman (which in their time meant feigning naivety)

[–]Ladyofblades1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, but positive male leadership and fatherhood is incredibly important given how many of our leaders are men. Fathers are teaching our next generation by example. I am not seeing this a lot in male leaders in general, only the exceptional ones.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Correction: men are not more emotionally mature than women - men are more emotionally mature than women and male feminist cucks give them credit for.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

THIS I can agree with.

[–]MGTOWtoday1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men aren’t more emotionally mature nor are they out of touch with their emotions. Women have a greater degree of neoteny than men, and so women retain more child-like features into adulthood. Women can be more or less conceptualized as children with tits. Post wall women mature more, but they never catch up with men.

As a man, I remember what it was like to be a child, then teen, young adult and where I am now. As I’ve gotten older, it’s as if the “intensity control” on my emotions have slowly turned down over time. When I was young things that excited me were AWESOME and things that disappointed me TOTALLY SUCKED! Today, the things that excite me are just okay and the things that disappoint me are just kinda meh.

There’s an evolutionary advantage for women remaining emotional because being emotional is women’s primary tool for manipulating men for additional provision.

[–]CuddleLumpkin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go watch road rage videos. It’s typically not women chasing a stranger with a baseball bat because that stranger cut them off.

[–]CainPrice3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

About 75% of men are shitty at handling their emotions. Some are womanly losers who have grown up feminized. Bully a guy like that in high school and he cries to his mommy and binges on a pint of ice cream before losing himself in a video game. Others are insecure hypermasculine losers who drink too much and get into fistfights if you badmouth their football team or look at them funny.

Maybe a quarter of guys are emotionally mature. I agree that whether or not a guy is stoic or expressive isn't a good metric for measuring emotional maturity and that most of the time, more expressive people are less emotionally mature and are seeking attention for their emotions. But the idea that any significant quantity of men are emotionally mature is silly. Most men are losers. They're either way too "beta" to have their emotions in check or one of those insecure fake masculine guys. Actual masculine men with real emotional maturity aren't common.

[–]mistresswhat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men got so mad about a Star Wars movie they harassed multiple actresses off of social media about it.

[–]TriadFamilyTimesEverything I know I learned from group sex2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

1) Judging by domestic violence and abuse statistics men lash out and dump their emotions on other people more than women do
2) The specific example you give about how women can't handle their emotions and men can is actually in real life that women have emotional interdependence in healthy ways and men are catastrophically isolated and emotionally stunted by that isolation.
3) You are trying to hold onto the way you are and come up with a justification for the way "men are" being emotional maturity but you are making these concept up, literally talking out of your ass, while the concepts of emotional maturity you are trying to pretend are bad are clinically defined by people with many more graduate degrees than you will ever be capable of achieving for yourself.

You find this characterization patronizing because like many men you see nothing wrong with the emotional stoicism that exists and you also do not understand that the average woman in America is an adult child exactly like the average man and it is only when you visit the above average that women are adults and men are still children. You are not part of the above average, and so from where you stand in the world you cannot begin to see this and so we end up at this impasse where your dunning kruger leads you to assume emotional competence where you have none because you know nothing of healthy emotional functioning.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you also do not understand that the average woman in America is an adult child exactly like the average man and it is only when you visit the above average that women are adults and men are still children

Bit intellectually elitist but I see the angle you're coming from.

[–]EsauTheRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

IMO I agree but I believe women are considered in touch with their feelings and socially adept not because of any inherent skill of theirs but because of their possession of something men don’t have, a womb, which gives them inherent value beyond a man and hence they have a much easier time socializing because they have something of value to offer right off the bat

More often than not (and it can be seen here) women are operating at and leveraging a higher level of sexual power rather than being better at anything

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

by evidence of the fact that men don't lash out and dump their problems on to other people the way women do.

You're right - men don't lash out in the way women do (nagging, crying, trying to make others feel guilty etc). Men punch (holes in walls and other people). Men are more likely to yell and raise their voices when angry. Men are also far more likely to kill other people because of their emotions.

We've taken signs of maturity and responsibility in men, and turned it around to pretend that men are robots, or otherwise don't know how to handle their emotions, when exactly the opposite is true.

Men are also far more likely to commit suicide, which means using a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nope. Women are likely to attempt suicide.

[–]Scully_401 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/

Men are 3.54 x more likely to commit suicide than women

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope. Women are likely to attempt suicide.

No, what I said is true. They commit suicide in greater numbers than women.

[–]Aggressive_BetaBeta Male1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men Alphas aren’t out of touch with their emotions; men alphas are simply more emotionally mature

FTFY. Beta males don’t have control of their emotions because their frame is weak

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[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think we would all need to agree on what being in touch with your emotions means before we can properly have this discussion. Someone in this thread seems to be equating something like a sports riot as a sign that men are out of touch. Is that a good example of being in/out of touch with emotion? I don't know.

It's hard to tell since we deal with people in our lives and I hope there is someone here with a study of psychology to chime in. In my experience as an all too long bar goer in a college town, for every violent outburst I see from guys(which apparently some see all the time,) I will see dozens of (random)women crying over various things. For every guy I have known that regularly broke out in violence, I have known a madman, who would often end up in jail or the morgue. I've known too many women that I have seen cry over endless stupid shit. Are the ones that are regularly violent or regularly crying the ones in touch with their emotions? I honestly don't understand what it means to be in touch. What is the line of in touch to out of touch?

[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this characterization is patronizing towards men, dishonest, and in the end, encourages bad behavior out of women.

Perks of living in a gynocentrist society. If women are the default blueprint of everything done right, than any behaviour away from that model is seen as the anomaly, or toxic even.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Moved my comment, thanks for the heads up Oncefa2.

At the new years party I was at, literally every woman was creating some sort of problem. Crying, fighting, puking, talking shit to other woman, driving drunk etc. The men were having fun, and trying to make sure the woman didn't drive. Yea based on my own observations OP is right about this one.

[–]JustForPPDChemistry > All0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Testosterone works as a mood-regulator.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The idea of rainisthelife being in charge of men’s medical or psychiatric care and having access to their protected health information and access to the most intimate details of their lives, is enough to make me very very sorry for those men.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why are mods censoring incels but not female supremacist rad-fems?

[–]fatalcharm0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't think men are necessarily more emotionally mature, it's just that they don't go through the hormone fluctuations that women go through. -I know I am going to get downvoted for saying this but holy shit, if you had to deal with the hormone fluctuations that women go through, you would be a little more understanding as to why women seem so emotional compared to men.

Both men and women have the same emotions and experience the same feelings. However, men will experience them on a steady incline or decline, whereas woman experience their emotions/feelings in a much more chaotic way. It's hormonal and yes, it's sexist for me to say that but men and women are built differently. As women get older, they learn to control the chaotic emotions better but they still experience them. Younger women don't even understand what is gong on with them or why they are feeling the way they do. It's difficult to deal with at first but once you get an understanding of your body and cycles, it becomes easier to manage the emotions.

[–]Scully_402 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No downvote, dude. Your comment was well-worded and respectful. Unfortunately, there’s a big hole in your logic... men have hormonal cycles, too. Studies have shown that men’s testosterone levels have a monthly cycle (peaking around the 18th day I think?) and a yearly cycle as well (peaking in November and hitting its lowest point in April). Men also experience something called andropause, which is similar to menopause.

“Men have a monthly hormonal cycle that is unique to each man, but men can actually track their moods and recognize they are related to hormonal changes through the month. “

https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=53725

[–]fatalcharm1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh wow. I didn't know that. Thank you for sharing :)

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ditto!

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm perfectly happy accepting women have hormonal fluctuations, I just think that that should not be an excuse for the way SOME women treat men as a resuult. A lot of women use their period (TOTM) as a justification for abusing their partners or being aggressive to friends and family, in the same breath they call it sexist to joke about TOTM. Either women have to hold themselves accountable during TOTM to keep acting like an adult in public (and not treating their partner like shit) or we need to infantilise them during that period.

Many women use part of their ovulation phase to consider branch swinging, but that's another matter

[–]JezebeltheQueen5656Crushing males' ego since 19930 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

nonsense. males arent in touch with their emotions other than anger and rage that stems from their entitlement.

males kill their SOs in 99% f cases or at least attempt to. male jealousy when their ex leaves them for someone better is the cause of the ex's death soon after. who are you kidding?

women self-reflect and blame themselves for everything while males put the blame on everyone else but them.

[–]splendorsolace0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

"males kill their SOs in 99% f cases or at least attempt to"

LOL.

Wouldn't all women be dead, then?

Math may not be your strong suit.

[–]JezebeltheQueen5656Crushing males' ego since 19930 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

who said anything about the success rate? reading aint your forte, pal.

[–]splendorsolace0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wouldn't all men be in jail for attempted murder?

You're silly.

Stop projecting/trying to gaslight.

You're nutty, not me.

[–]JezebeltheQueen5656Crushing males' ego since 19930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

in a perfect world, yes. but, alas....

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again I don't think terps grasp this, Rousseau and Schopenhauer said the same, the first wave did their best to debunk it (Mary Wollstnecraft in particular went apeshit on Rousseau's sexism because she loved all of his other ideas)

Even if your opinion is true it's so un-PC these days that it won't take precedence in your/our generation

[–]GearheadNation0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can’t get on board with this. First you are attributing a value to a difference. Both responses are adaptive. Second, the male brain demonstrably develops more slowly than women.

So unless you are talking about the over 30 crowd, you can bet solidly that age for age the women in the group will be more mature than the men.

[–]Shadow_Of_Chad-Lite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree with the out of touch and mature part. Men are overall less emotional than women.

[–]Thy_MushroomMystic mushroom pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are taught to "embrace the suck". Women are not. And this is honestly a good thing. One thing that the red pill has absolutely correct is that men and women have distinct biological and psychological differences ( It's also important to note this is heavily supported by science ). I don't believe most girls could handle the military concept of embracing the suck, and that's why men are better off when we act as a rock in the ladies emotional storm.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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