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This tweetfrom Amy Alkon, also known as the Advice Goddess, writes a weekly advice column, Ask the Advice Goddess, which is published in over 100 newspapers within North America. While Alkon addresses a wide range of topics, she primarily focuses on issues in intimate relationships. ^wikipedia

She wrote: "An 'unfeminist' truth we should tell young women: "Even if you aren't all that beautiful, you are likely be seen as pretty or even hot in your 20s (by virtue of your youth). So ESPECIALLY if you aren't all that beautiful, this would be a wise time to focus on partnering up."

She's really not wrong. In a perfect world, no one is judged on their attractiveness. It's what's on the inside that counts, etc. In the real world, by your 30s most family-minded people have partnered up and it becomes much more difficult for a woman who was a 6 in her 20s but now is a 4 in her 30s to find a suitable partner that meets her standards.

Here are the replies from the Trollx thread I saw this on. So oblivious.


[–]CatchPhrazeRed is For Rudolph15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This just in: The middle aged are middle aged and the old are old. Bonus: You'll look older when your old!

Who doubts those things? Like I do get that some people lose weight/get fit/finaly learn how to style and groom themselves a bit later in life and are "late bloomers" but most of us know our tits aren't going to be as perky at 35 as they are at 20. Or that our smile lines will get deeper. Very few people deny this.

The part she gets wrong is, people mature slower and grow a lot as people from 20-30. Much more then say 30-40 and 40-50. Jumping in with both feet at 20 might land you with someone who it totally different, or you might end up being different. The reason the highest success rate for marriage is people whom marry at 25+ for the first time is because they have the good sense to wait to see who they become and what they want in a partner.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The reason the highest success rate for marriage is people whom marry at 25+ for the first time is because [...]

What do you mean by "success" in this sentence? I wonder where you got this info from, and how the "success" is measured. Does it mean a long lasting marriage? Does it mean genuine love and loyalty between the husband and wife?

[–]CatchPhrazeRed is For Rudolph8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It means lowest divorce rate. People who get married before 20 have a very high rate of divorce, then it goes down then swings back up as you get passed 30-40. I guess it's true that you can use many metrics to determine success in this context.

[–]LSTW123476 points77 points  (218 children) | Copy Link

What I don’t get about this advice is that from my perspective most women who find themselves single in their 30s were not consciously avoiding “partnering up” in their 20s, they just didn’t find anyone they wanted to partner up with for life. Like I’m 28 and single but I spent most of my 20s in relationships. For most of my last relationship I honestly thought we’d get married but it just didn’t work out.

Most single women I know who are my age or older have similar experiences - they had relationships in their twenties, they weren’t avoiding serious commitment, they would have settled down with the right person. I don’t see how telling them to partner up earlier would have changed anything, except to maybe make them settle for someone they weren’t happy with. Things seem to work out fine for most of them anyway, I actually don’t personally know any women who are still single in their mid to late 30s.

Also, there is absolutely a phenomenon of women partnering up early out of fear and pressure, which should be equally if not more concerning than women holding off until they’re a bit older. This advice does women no favors from my perspective.

[–]ReformedTomboyPurple Pill37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Both of my serious relationships I considered marrying and we talked about it, at their behest. The guys lost interest and we moved on. I wasn’t avoiding anything. And they are not married to my knowledge. Btw these were the “mature” (30 and 34 to my 26 and 28- I’m currently still 28). Idk where this narrative that women are avoiding relationships comes from.

Things just don’t work out. I’m not going to go marry some loser I’ll resent for fear of being 29 and single tho. That’s stupid.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The narrative came from sex and the city, in your face “empowered career women” who are by no means the majority but for a while had/have? disproportionate media influence

[–]decoy88Black Male in London8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course they would it’s more exciting than the reality

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The women in sex and the city partnered up too.

The point isn't that young women don't partner up. The point is maybe young women aren't taking their partnerships serious enough. And maybe they should.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe no man is the right man. And the fear isn't being 29 and single, it's being 39 and single and then being 49 and single and 59 and single and eventually dying without having the opportunity to settle down with a guy who isn't a loser.

Partnering up doesn't mean you're taking your partnering serious.

[–]Texastentialismshe's got a tattoo and two pet snakes37 points38 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, this is my thinking exactly. It's not that this is bad advice, it's just sort of unnecessary because most women are "partnering up" in their twenties. Whether they stay partnered up is a different matter, but it in any case it's rarely because they're actively avoiding it.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I’m guessing it’s aimed at the small segment of women that deliberately puts off serious searching till 30 or whenever career stuff is “settled”

[–]Texastentialismshe's got a tattoo and two pet snakes16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I guess, I just think that demographic is largely a myth. Or at least their numbers are wildly overblown.

[–]storffish6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

probably exclusively a big city coastal phenomenon, but that's also where most news outlets operate out of

[–]Texastentialismshe's got a tattoo and two pet snakes-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that's probably right.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think you’d have been exposed to them much. I have some. Again , minority here but def existing

[–]reluctantly_red2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

deliberately puts off serious searching till 30 or whenever career stuff is “settled”

Yeah its overblown. There were a whole bunch of engagements and weddings during third year at my law school.

[–]ffbtaw 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

How long ago was that?

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

1997/98. Believe it or not but women actually pursued careers back then too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo. I'm surprised people aren't getting this from the jump and keep insisting that this women is saying no women are trying to partner up in her 20s.

[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's only my personal experience is that pretty much every woman that I have ever known that is not obese has always had partners(be it LTR, STR, anywhere in between) nearly non stop throughout the time I have known them. Most mid 20-somethings are dating with the intent for LTR's/marriage. I know it skews different in bigger cities, but I think most women are already following this advice without being told. It's common sense that a) you have a bigger pool to choose from and b) have more time to choose from the available pool when you are younger.

[–]qwertyuiop111222Purple Pill Masticator0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I know it skews different in bigger cities, but I think most women are already following this advice without being told.

Could you explain this part?

[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

From the people I know and time I've spent in bigger cities people are more likely to settle later, though I am not sure if that is by choice.

[–]ChicagoPWriter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

  1. Career.
  2. Higher education.
  3. Focused on moving to senior management.

———you’re 30———

(Please insert student debt, adult headaches, and anxiety/+ in that progression as you see fit.)

That’s the trend in urban areas of population larger than 600k. People don’t move there for the LOVE opportunities - they move there for all opportunities, especially career and education, and love falls on the back burner. Those who don’t care for the allures of city life and associated hustles focus their time on personal relationships and ambitions.

It’s a simple equation of “opportunity cost”. PhD vs MS vs MBA vs having kids by 25-27 (so you’re able to keep up with them) vs etc vs etc. Life is an opportunity cost. We fail to include our FREE time in the equation and some things just slip by...

[–]Archibald_Andino7 points8 points  (67 children) | Copy Link

What I don’t get about this advice is that from my perspective most women who find themselves single in their 30s were not consciously avoiding “partnering up” in their 20s, they just didn’t find anyone they wanted to partner up with for life.

Take a look at this reply. This is who the original tweet was aimed at. Women who were too picky or unrealistic in their 20s, women who only made their career a priority, etc.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Making a career a priority is the smartest thing you can do because men come and go but you always have yourself.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

This is fine if you never want to marry. It's when they decide they want a husband at 30 that they wonder where all the eligible men are. They were available at college, at social gatherings and some at work. But if she had no time for dating before, dating has no time for her when she's desperate to start a family at 30.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The whole idea that you can’t take a career seriously and take finding a relationship seriously at the same time is hilarious. Who still believes that in 2018?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's about time. No man is saying don't have a job. But if you're trying to climb the corporate ladder and don't have time to maintain a relationship, don't be surprised if the dating pool sucks later on.

Also...

The whole idea that you can’t take a career seriously and take finding a relationship seriously at the same time is hilarious. Who still believes that in 2018?

Women complain endlessly that being a wife, a mom and working is too much work. Many women even stop working to raise kids and become stay at home moms because juggling a career and family responsibilities isn't easy. The year doesn't change the fact that there are only so many hours in the day and that relationships need some of that time and attention to work. Otherwise women would not leave career minded men who are never at home.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you date other professionals, they understand that sometimes you have to work late hours, pull time on the weekends, travel on short notice, etc. honestly it’s never been a problem for me or any other professional woman I know.

Women complain endlessly that being a wife, a mom and working is too much work. Many women even stop working to raise kids and become stay at home moms because juggling a career and family responsibilities isn't easy.

When did we go from dating to suddenly having a bunch of kids?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's a red pill revenge story and doesn't actually happen in real life.

[–]boomcheese442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Revenge fantasy indeed. I settled in my early 30s just fine. Things didnt change...the dating options were much the same. Everyone is putting off marriage.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep thinking that...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or she simply had no interest in dating early on and now its hurting her.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

is it true that you can't miss what you never had?

[–]LSTW123423 points24 points  (52 children) | Copy Link

I don’t buy “too picky,” because what’s the alternative? Settle down with someone you’re not really sure about? No thank you.

[–]azngirl768920 points21 points  (46 children) | Copy Link

But don't BetaBuxx someone but also settle down but also make sure you're attracted to them but don't be so picky. I'm confused. Can these people decide what laydee people should be doing in their opinion?

[–]LSTW123411 points12 points  (44 children) | Copy Link

It’s fine to beta bux someone when you’re young, is my impression.

[–]azngirl768911 points12 points  (43 children) | Copy Link

This is not helping my whiplash. So BetaBuxxing is ok now? I thought it was the root of all evil.

[–]LSTW123418 points19 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I mean these are the same people who complain about gold diggers and “divorce rape,” while in the same breath bashing women for pursuing careers. By now I just assume everything women do is evil.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though7 points8 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

A gold digger does not provide enough value for what she costs. The problem is not that she wants money, the problem is that she is not worth the money.

Divorce rape is just plain wrong. Marriage should be forever and if it is not, then why should the woman take the cash and prices. Her job was keeping the relationship alive, she shouldn't get paid for failing at her job.

Women prioritizing their careers are ok, just bad partners.

Women not settling is ok as long as they take responsability for their loneliness if they aren't able to find a man that meets all the criteria she wants in a partner.

[–]Akantha339 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

A gold digger does not provide enough value for what she costs.

I’ve seen many instances where ”high value” (and by high value I’m assuming you mean atttactive/willing to serve the man’s needs) women still get bashed for being gold diggers. But then again that’s anecdotal.

Her job was keeping the relationship alive, she shouldn't get paid for failing at her job.

How come only the woman is responsible for keeping the relationship alive?

Women prioritizing their careers are ok, just bad partners.

I’m not really going for a rebuttal on this one, Just gonna ask some questions. Is it possible for a woman to prioritize her career and be a good partner? If a man were to prioritize his career who he be a bad partner?

Women not settling is ok as long as they take responsability for their loneliness if they aren’t able to find a man that meets all the criteria she wants in a partner.

That I mostly agree with.

[–]PuleaSpataru69|||1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve seen many instances where ”high value” (and by high value I’m assuming you mean atttactive/willing to serve the man’s needs) women still get bashed for being gold diggers.

Men who worry about gold diggers are NEVER a target. Do you think Elon Musk or Donald Trump worry about their wives using them for their money? lol. It's what they WANT

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How come only the woman is responsible for keeping the relationship alive?

The man is also responsible. In any case, no one should get anything for failing at keeping a relationship.

Is it possible for a woman to prioritize her career and be a good partner?

Unlikely. It could happen but I am not willing to bet my time and happiness on that odds.

If a man were to prioritize his career who he be a bad partner?

Yes. It is unlikely that a man that put his career first would be a good partner. But since women care a lot about a man's status and money, it is not that big of a deal. If a woman doesn't have status and money she doesn't lose RMV/SMV.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it possible for a woman to prioritize her career and be a good partner?

Contrary to feminist beliefs, women cannot have it all. Those women who are great wives, moms and who have careers are the extremely privileged few who have support systems in place that the average Josephine can only dream of. She has family and husband's money. She has nannies and support staff. She has a home office and can travel at a moment's notice.

If she wants to be a good partner, she cannot prioritize her career because there are only so many hours in a day. Also, what men desire in a partner is different to what women want.

If a man were to prioritize his career who he be a bad partner?

This is a double edged sword. A man who has a good career is attractive. However, earning the money she finds attractive means he must sacrifice personal time to do so. Women, who marry men like this, often complain about him being absent. But if he takes the career hit to be present for her, she'll probably leave him before considering a drop in status. There's just no way to win unless she's okay with being less financially well off. Otherwise women would have to be okay with marrying men who are good husbands first and who are not that ambitious.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

There are more scenarios IRL than either “divorce rape” or “marriage until death.” The majority of divorced men do not experience anything close to divorce rape.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

How to know if the divorce is fair. She gets only what she paid for. If she was a SAHM/W then we can take the average salary of the person/s that should be hired to do her job (Cleaning/amataur cooking/babysitting/whatever, mostly low pay/low skill work) multiply that average for the years of marriage, then deduce half of every payment on rent/food/bills/taxes etc. That is what she is worth, that is what she should get.

[–]LSTW12342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okey dokey

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A gold digger does not provide enough value for what she costs. The problem is not that she wants money, the problem is that she is not worth the money.

Matter of perspective. As really the whole gold digger thing is well prostitution if you will. As the whole point of having a gold digger is that the guy has a hot woman to show off and the woman gets to live a certain life style. For some men and women they view the trade off worth it for others like you its not.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If a woman is good enough, she is called a good partner, if she is not, she is called a gold digger.

Money is one if not the primary reason my partner is with me, I am not blind to it. Is she a gold digger? I don't think so, she actually improves my life to the point that whatever costs she brings are well worth it.

[–]toronto87 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy Link

The difference is that in the idealized 50's fantasy beta bux scenario you marry a 19-20 year old girl next door with n=1 or 2, and in exchange for having all of her prime attractiveness/fertility years she gets all of your prime earning/status/attractiviness years and support. The modern version of beta bux involves the woman riding the CC until she's right at the end of prime or post prime and then settling, so the betabux is expected to exchange his prime years for her post-prime years.

[–]azngirl768916 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The early 20's beta bux is still a relatively fair trade but it only works in my opinion of both partners were raised in a healthy environment with minimal psychological issues and have secure attachment styles.

With all due respect, this sounds like unicorn hunting, even back in the 50s.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yep, the women were alcoholics and on crazy pills, not happy wives.

Life and love is a bloodbath, there’s no fixing it

[–]toronto87 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women are still all alcoholics or on pills or both. Might be worse now honestly.

[–]LSTW12347 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

you marry a 19-20 year old girl next door with n=1 or 2, and in exchange for having all of her prime attractiveness/fertility years she gets all of your prime earning/status/attractiviness years and support

This is obviously no longer a favorable option for women.

[–]toronto87 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Right, and the modern version of beta bux is no longer favorable for men.

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

the modern version of beta bux is no longer favorable for men.

Which is why guys should never marry a woman who doesn't work.

[–]ianlittle20000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It is, but why do that when you can whore around for for 18 more years then move in with a well off guy and ride his efforts

[–]LSTW12342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right, that is the ideal

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

girls just want to have fun

[–]PuleaSpataru69|||0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's the difference between provider and beta bux

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s never been a winning move for everyone

Back in the day betas just went to prostitutes for fun. Wives were a business deal for families

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The goal is to broaden and enrich your taste and judgment to the point where you are able to find someone attractive that you wouldn't have normally found attractive before. If you're not exhibiting this kind of growth then yes your dating pool will be limited.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I buy it given what women today want in men, college degree, earning more than her, be fit, physically attractive, etc. Women got told they can have it all and reality smack them in the face and realize they can't have it all.

[–]LSTW12341 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t necessarily disagree with you there but I view that as a separate issue entirely. That’s about having (perhaps unrealistically) high standards, not purposely avoiding partnering up.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think most women purposely avoid partnering up but more of having unrealistic standards for today's dating market. As they got sold a dating market as if we where still in the 50's but we aren't and a lot has change dating market wise.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And look at the downvotes on that comment, telling isn't it?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (107 children) | Copy Link

most women who find themselves single in their 30s were not consciously avoiding “partnering up” in their 20s, they just didn’t find anyone they wanted to partner up with for life.

I don't understand this. How is it that women can't find anyone to partner up with by age 25? From my perspective it sure looks like they don't want to because they're enjoying the "dating around" (i.e. the carousel) too much. And shit, i don't blame women for that, to be honest - if i could have sex with pretty much whoever i wanted to, work an easy job supporting myself, and get other people to pay for my dinners, drinks and entertainment, i'd do it too for as long as i could.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas22 points23 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Tbh Lewis I’m beginning to think the carousel is dying for all but a small pool of highly self publicized ultra thots.

I work with lots of gen z girls (nurse assistants) and overhear their convos, they really are too busy and anxious to date or even have many real friends or outings or hobbies. Literally everything hangs on getting into that school/program and then getting that job.

Meanwhile the dudes are playing fort nite. Can’t say I blame them

[–]Ladyofblades15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

This has been happening before Gen Z (Millenials are experiencing it now). Who really has the time for this fictional carousel when you're worrying about how to make rent?

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think for like, seven minutes in 2008 there was a big slut moment and then the market crashed and that was that.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think my gen of millennials carouselled pretty hard but maybe we were the last hurrah? We were supposed to be college age during peak raunch culture years, like back when Paris Hilton’s sex tape leaked and “porn star” was a clothing brand for teens.

DAE remember “wooooooo” girls and their filthy junky 2001 jettas with the check engine light on from lack of oil changes? Bleach blonde highlights, “whale tail” thongs, lower back tattoos? Def a golden age of cock carousels .

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't forget yoga pants with text on the ass.

[–]boomcheese441 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you are actually right with this. Most of my slut friends have banged less than 5 guys...all happily married in thier early 30s. Im just highly skeptical of of this CC everyone talks about. Most sane people are worried about survival and paying their ever increasing rent.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL your friends are not sluts . That’s a brief stint on the carousel

I’m talking more about gen z putting the carousel out of business

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gen y more started this than experienced it. As gen y was the first real generation that grew up with video games being in the household. Gen y was also much harder hit by the recession as well and will become the fly over or the looked over generation in terms of jobs.

[–]p3n3lop3Black Pill& Waiting on the Singularity3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Same, I work with super attractive women in their early and mid 20s. They are fed up with men already and DO NOT date.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven’t heard a lot of complaining about men from my anecdotes, just too busy and anxious

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Wonder how much of that is due to their physical looks than anything else I also wager they have a college degree and finding loads of men without a college degree.

[–]p3n3lop3Black Pill& Waiting on the Singularity2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No, they are in school and have met men there with education. There is just too much nonsense from them, apparently. Lack of maturity etc. I've tried to suggest to them to find successful older men but they like young, good looking guys, somewhat supporting the carousel theory I suppose, but they are not sleeping around and aren't all that interested in sex....at least that's what they tell me. And they have no reason to lie to me.

[–]boomcheese441 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This has been my experience as well. I try really hard to find this mythical CC.

[–]LSTW123423 points24 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

I had two LTRs in my twenties and neither of them worked out. Hence, I have not found anyone to partner up with yet. What is so hard to understand here?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (44 children) | Copy Link

what's difficult to understand is why a woman who wants someone permanently to commit can't get that or do that. I am not going to ask you personally because i constantly get accused of things i didn't do or say, and i get reported all the time for merely responding in kind, so i will not ask anything personal.

A woman is reasonably attractive. She's got her head on straight. She's not overly demanding. She isn't demanding perfection. There's a lot of men out there who are available to her for commitment if that's what she wants. She's smart enough (isn't she?) to suss out who's a player, who's just going to fuck and chuck her, and who's going to stick around (or not).

Young women are the absolute rock stars of the SMP. Their power is simply immense. They can have literally anything they want. It's all there just for the asking. A young, good looking woman - worth her weight in gold to a man.

What's the problem? What's the issue? Why can't a reasonably attractive woman in her mid 20s pair up permanently?

Answer: They don't want to. They prefer to use their star SMP power to get hot guys for fun hot sex.

What am i missing?

EDIT: Why is this getting downvoted? What on EARTH is controversial about young women's attractiveness? What on earth is controversial about "women who want to marry, marry; women who don't, dont"?

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman25 points26 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Because the man she thought was going to marry her dumped her instead. Why is that hard to understand?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't sound like it. I don't know that about LSTW. That might or might not be true.

Or the woman picked poorly. Or whatever.

I don't think it's always because "oh, she thought they were going to get married, but he cruelly dumped her". No, most of the time the woman dumps the man, because he's just not all that important or because she's decided to move on, or other things are more important, or whatever.

I don't see most women in their early 20s wanting to marry. I see them dating around and having fun. And that's fine. But don't tell me they're serious about wanting to find men for marriage, because if they were serious about getting married, they'd get married.

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I never said anything about dumping being cruel. I don't think it is. But sometimes things don't happen like you think they will and you date someone for 7 years and then it doesn't work out. Or whatever.

How many women in their 20's do you know? The ones I know who want to get married are.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The ones I know who want to get married are.

Precisely my point. I'm in exactly the same place - the women in their 20s who want to marry, marry. Those who don't, don't.

Women who aren't getting married, aren't because they don't want to. Glad we agree.

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In general that's true, but it also doesn't seem wildly impossible that some people are struggling to meet the right person. It's very bizarre to me that you flatly declare is impossible and the only possible reason a woman isn't married is because she doesn't want to.

[–]sketch1620008 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a very good example of how the theory of beta buxxing and riding the CC can be basically a projection for a lot of men.

It's coming from a default experience of scarcity and low value. Basically, if men suddenly had the sexual power that women do, they would have as much sex as they could for as long as they could, only settling down when/if they start to see the writing on The Wall.

From that perspective, the idea that women don't always behave this way is completely baffling and/or impossible to understand for some men.

[–]LSTW123420 points21 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

Why are you assuming they can’t find someone willing to partner up with them? I know I could find guys willing to partner up with me, I just haven’t met one I’M willing to partner up with for life. Call me picky - I’m the first to admit that - but don’t tell me what I do or do not want.

[–]p3n3lop3Black Pill& Waiting on the Singularity6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know I could find guys willing to partner up with me, I just haven’t met one I’M willing to partner up with for life.

Thank YOU!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

OK. Let me go back. I must not have made myself clear.

I didn't say anything about YOU PERSONALLY. But now that you brought it up, i'll go there.

If you broke up with the men that you were partnered with, then you don't want to marry badly enough. If they broke up with you, then you weren't right for each other and either you or they chose poorly. If you haven't found a man you are willing to partner up with for life, then you are like the women i was talking about - you don't want to pair up permanently. Or at least you don't want to badly enough.

And that's fine. By all means, AND THIS IS ABOUT WOMEN GENERALLY NOT ABOUT YOU PERSONALLY: If you don't want to marry, don't. If you don't want to marry THIS PARTICULAR guy, don't. But don't say "i want to get married" when you clearly don't, because if you did, you would.

[–]LSTW123419 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I used myself as an example because I can only speak for myself, though I know my experience isn’t uncommon.

If you broke up with the men that you were partnered with, then you don't want to marry badly enough.

In other words, if I wanted to get married badly enough I would’ve settled for a man I wasn’t happy with. I actually don’t disagree with you there, I think it happens a lot to women (and men) who want to get married badly enough. In my opinion it should not be encouraged.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm still not making myself clear.

Why can't a young attractive woman, who is at the very zenith of her value and worth, find anyone she wants who also wants her and they're minimally compatible? Are you kidding? They're young. They're hot. They've got things to offer. They want to marry. WHY CAN'T THEY? There are men out there who want to marry. They might be older. THey might be far away. It might require you to move. There are enough attractive men out there who want to marry.

IF they want it badly enough, they can find attractive men for marriage. IF THEY WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH.

I don't think they DO want it badly enough. THAT is the point.

And it is fine that they don't want it badly enough. It's fine they don't want to marry. But don't tell me it's because they want to, but they can't because men or because men break up or "doesn't work out". If they want it to work out, they'll work it out. If they want to find attractive men for marraige, they can - they just don't want to.

[–]LSTW123417 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again, if I wanted to get married badly enough I would’ve been married by now, as would have most still-single women my age. I already conceded that point.

That doesn’t mean I spent my twenties avoiding partnering up, nor do I know any women who did. That was MY point.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP: "Women initiate divorce too often!"

Also TRP: "Women need to stop being so picky about who they marry!"

[–]OfSpock4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On the one hand you say they can find attractive men for marriage. On the other, you say these men are older and live far away.

[–]boomcheese442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Come on, be realistic about how life works. If you have to be in a state of wanting something "badly enough" to make it happen...are you being a responsible dater? Also, no responsible man marries just for youth and beauty. Compatibility, love, social class, chemistry, values all play a role here. These things take time to sort out sometimes. Its concerning that you jump to the conclusion that we were all just slutting it up during this period.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But don't say "i want to get married" when you clearly don't, because if you did, you would.

But that's true for...almost anyone, really.You seem to think that if the person looking to get married is a young woman, then they have no right to complain that they want to get married but aren't. But surely this applies to everyone? A young man, not visibly crazy or so ugly he's deformed, could find a woman to marry him, if he wanted it badly enough. So he's not allowed to say he wants a wife, either? That just sounds stupid to me.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You do realise caps lock means you’re shouting right?

Why you shouting?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

If you broke up with the men that you were partnered with, then you don't want to marry badly enough. If they broke up with you, then you weren't right for each other and either you or they chose poorly.

Double standard much?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Not a double standard. It's called "reality".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Yes it is a double standard and no its not reality.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Agree to disagree. You have the right to be wrong.

[–]OfSpock4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Because men want casual sex. Despite what you think, it's more a case of wading through hundreds of guys who just want casual sex to find one who is ready to settle down.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And even the guy who wants something serious might not want it with YOU. Men may not be picky for sex, but they are quite rightfully a bit more cautious for relationships.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

And women don't want casual sex? I think you find a lot of men do want a committed relationship and not be man sluts fucking women left and right.

[–]OfSpock0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

That has not been my experience. Only about 10% of women are really into casual sex. Men, however, were never hesitant about putting the hard word on me before I knew what their favourite colour was.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I say far more than 10% of women are really into casual sex, see Tinder.

[–]OfSpock0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

The place where hardly any women actually meet guys for sex? And want to converse with them beforehand?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes the place where a lot of women actually find guys for sex. And its hard to have sex without a conversation beforehand as without it I wager it likely be rape.

[–]Nevidimka-2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because relationships are more complicated than you obviously think. It isn't : boy is seriously interested in girl, girl is seriously interested in boy, boom happily ever after.

I wanted to settle down young so I did. But at 19 you don't know what personality fits yours best, hell you haven't even developed it completely yet. My ex is a decent guy but when we moved in after a few years, we just couldn't live together. I need quiet time and peace much more than him. He needs to get attention much more than me. He couldn't stand it when I just wanted to do something for myself, I couldn't stand the fact we had guests over all the time. We talked about these things prior, thinking we could find a happy medium, but you don't know how it really feels when you're just dating and are focussed on one another 100%, then go home. That's just one example of the maaaaany things that could go wrong and make people break up after a couple years.

One of the biggest thinking errors is that if relationships go wrong, it’s because she did something wrong (her fault) or dated an asshole (also her fault). You’ve got to understand sometimes two good people can’t make it work for 50 years.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

But at 19 you don't know what personality fits yours best, hell you haven't even developed it completely yet.

Then why didn't you stay with him for a few extra years before getting married?

My ex is a decent guy but when we moved in after a few years, we just couldn't live together. I need quiet time and peace much more than him. He needs to get attention much more than me. He couldn't stand it when I just wanted to do something for myself, I couldn't stand the fact we had guests over all the time.

You couldn't figure this out beforehand? You didn't know that about yourself before you moved in?

We talked about these things prior, thinking we could find a happy medium, but you don't know how it really feels when you're just dating and are focussed on one another 100%, then go home.

But you know the person and what they like and dislike.

This just sounds to me like "I want what I want and I am not compromising and I am not going to give an inch". This sounds to me like you and he were both doing that to each other.

That's just one example of the maaaaany things that could go wrong and make people break up after a couple years.

This is little more than just "i didn't plan, I didn't accept myself, I didn't know myself, I did know myself but I decided to do it anyway, I would not compromise". On BOTH sides.

[–]Nevidimka-2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We weren't married, I mean I picked him as my partner at 19. We dated for 2 years, then moved in wanting to get married as soon as we had the money. We also wanted to live together before getting married, thank god.

Actually, compromise is what killed it. We were both compromising, all the time. His way to unwind after a long day was to talk about it and discuss every little thing that happened, my way was to read for a bit. Every day, we'd do something different. Which ment that every day, one of us was not being able to unwind. Our relationship wore us both out. Why the hell would you go through with that for another 50 years when you know there are people out there who are a way better match? Especially given there were no children.

Relationships need compromise, but we were compromising 95% of the time. In my current, we're compromising maybe 10% of the time. I feel calm and not overworked. No relationship is perfect, but this is doable for the rest of my life.

[–]azngirl768916 points17 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

I take it you don't really talk to very many 25 year old women IRL. This is far from reality.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (44 children) | Copy Link

Sure. And you're the girl who thinks married men have no right to sex whose fiance has acquiesced and caved to that.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP4 points5 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

Nobody has a right to sex except when all people involved are fully willing. Full stop. If you suggest otherwise, you are a rape apologist, and I expect you to accept that label.

[–]passepar2t3 points4 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

Might not be a right, but sex is a mandatory condition for the continuation of marriage. For most men, anyhow.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP2 points3 points  (30 children) | Copy Link

These are things which should be spelled out in your marriage or relationship agreement. For most people, the idea that one partner would be entitled to extramarital sex in the case of, for instance, sex-preventing medical trauma, is certainly not an implied and understood part of normal relationships and marriage. If that's something you have, you need to make it known before someone agrees to a possibly lifelong LTR with you.

Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you're entitled to have sex when you want, or at a specific frequency. I'm dealing with the fallout off a divorce of some friends right now, because the husband decided that two years without sex was untenable, ignoring the fact that his wife was awake 18 hours a day making sure their autistic kid wouldn't require special classes throughout childhood, so he cheated on her.

Commitment isn't about cheating when your partner is bedridden. And if that's the kind of relationship you want, where you're basically guaranteed to enter an open relationship once one of you becomes physically incapable, then you need to spell that out, and not take it as "implied by marriage".

[–]orthros1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If you truly believe that 2 years without sex is a tenable position for someone whose primary reason is "I'm too busy", then you're giving all the Red Pill guys here an awful lot of ammunition

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Right, because a wife not being able to sex her husband when their autistic child screams and shits all over the walls whenever not in her direct care is really just her fault and she should get over it.

[–]orthros1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep.

If she doesn't have time to have sex with her husband for two years, then obviously he is less priority than, say, paying her electric bill. Since she's spent more time doing that in 2 years if she still has the lights on.

Social Anarchist is right. wew lad

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you're entitled to financial support, or kindness, or sexual fidelity. Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you're entitled to that person's company.

Commitment isnt' about financial support when your partner cannot or just doesn't want to. "I don't feel like working anymore, so I won't. There will be no more money from me to support us. You'll just have to deal with that."

You good with that?

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP3 points4 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Financial support is a hard yes. Kindness and sexual fidelity are normative to relationships; I wouldn't say you're entitled to them, but if you want a relationship without these things, you should definitely make that known at the beginning.

Anything you make clear at the onset of a relationship is okay, provided it's ethical in general. If that strays from what you know someone expects as a matter of course from a relationship, it's your obligation to make them aware. If I want a relationship where I'm not required to give equal financial support (I'm in such a relationship), then that's fine provided I make that clear at the beginning. It's not fine to enter a relationship knowing my partner expects equal financial contribution, and then to decide to quit and make them responsible for taking up the slack.

If your partner enters a relationship with you under the specific auspice that either partner is free to seek extramarital sex if they're not getting sexed frequently enough, then no, it's not wrong to go seek extramartial sex. But if you didn't make that clear at the onset of the relationship, likely the other person does not make such an assumption of sexual entitlement.

It's on you to make it clear what kind of relationship you want.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

Financial support is a "hard yes" - hard yes what? Like you're entitled to financial support even when you don't want to support them or can't? Wow, double standard much? "I, woman, am entitled to financial support from husband, but he is entitled to NOTHING from me"? Are you serious right now?

I can't take seriously anyone who says "I get stuff I want from relationships; but I shouldnt' have to give anything". GTFO with that.

Sexual fidelity is normative to a relationship - I agree, but it sure doesn't sound like that every time we discuss this. It's always "I get what I need, but you men are not entitled to sex ever ever ever ever ever."

How can sexual fidelity be normative to a relationship, but sex is not? Are spouses not entitled to expect sex from their spouses? How can one expect sexual fidelity when one cannot expect sex? This makes no sense at all.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sorry, you don't get to expect me to accept anything from Blues.

If a woman isn't willing to have sex with her husband, she deserves to be divorced and to be kicked to the curb, and to be as divorce raped as she would do to the husband she hates.

Why would a woman EVER marry a man she doesn't want to fuck? I know why, because they do it all the time.

EDIT: You're the same one who last week got yoru comments against me removed for calling me names. If you're going to go down that road again, i'll just report them.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If that's the agreement you've made with your wife, then yes, she deserves it. If not, she doesn't. It's really simple. If you're saying a spouse or SO who has not agreed to a relationship where sex can be expected on demand should feel pressured into having sex when they don't want to, you're dead wrong for it.

In 100% of cases women should be "as divorce raped as she would do to the husband she hates". Because in most cases this would be not at all, as most divorces are, while emotionally painful, quite amicable in a legal sense.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you're saying a spouse or SO who has not agreed to a relationship where sex can be expected on demand should feel pressured into having sex when they don't want to, you're dead wrong for it.

We are NOT talking about "sex on demand". We're talking about reasaonably frequent sex at reasonably frequent intervals. If you can link me to any man anywhere demanding sex when a wife is recovering from an episiotomy or a C Section or who has a 105 degree fever and projectile vomiting, provide it. No man has ever demanded that, and it's ridiculous to say that they do.

If a man wants sex, he should be able to get that from his wife when he wants it. If she says "eh, don't feel like it", that's fine, every so often. The problems arise when it's "don't feel like it* all the fucking time, which is what OFTEN happens in marriages.

If, as you said in another comment, sexual fidelity is "normative" for relationships, then sex is normative for relationships. You can't have one without the other. Either sexual fidelity is normative AND sex is normative; or neither is normative. If a wife will not fuck her husband on the regular, she should expect him to get it somewhere else, and not complain about it.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm just gonna stop here, and focus the conversation on the other thread, as we appear to be rehashing the same arguments in two places.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then answer my questions.

WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX ON DEMAND. We are talking about sex.

Respond to the questions I raised, or I won't continue this conversation.

[–]makingballoons 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol we all know that if the husband “kicks her to the curb”, the only person that’ll be getting divorced raped is him. Perhaps she’ll have more sex with him when he stops feeling entitled to it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah, if you don't push for it and make your needs known, you won't get it in a marriage.

[–]azngirl7689 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lewis, my point is. I just think that you don't realize that women also work hard jobs and pay for things. Your head is so far up your butt that you have tunnel vision.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be Civil.

[–]thetotalpackage74 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I think the advice from the columnist is directed at the women who are out there "livin it up, you go girl style" with a different salami ever weekend who is thinking she has all the time in the world to snag a good dude.

NEWSFLASH: Respectable dudes who are looking to settle down and have a family don't want a reformed cum dumpster for a wife..especially if she not that good looking.

[–]LSTW12347 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Trust me, when those “livin it up, you go girl style” women find a man they want to commit to, they do.

[–]Physiologist21Cynic-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do not trust you. I am guessing you are one of these girls?

[–]LSTW12342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Psh I would never use the phrase “you go girl”

[–]thetotalpackage7 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm not so sure about that...I don't see many women getting married at 20-24 when they are in their prime. I see a lot of women that age getting fucked up every weekend and getting all their holes filled by random sausage until they are around 27-31. They then have an "epiphany" that they don't want an asshole anymore and start looking for a "Nice Guy" to settle down with.

Sounds like that was not you. 28 is not too late.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Actually it’s good that they aren’t getting married at age 20-24. Because getting married at that age actually makes them statistically more likely to divorce. It’s also not practical to do so, because most men close to that age aren’t looking or ready to get married. The women that get married in their late 20’s are the wise ones, as they are at an age where the men close to them in age are looking to get married. And most people marry within 5yr age range.

No idea why men expect that women expect women to just waste their early youth either sitting at home waiting for a “respectable guy” or snagging husbands that they will most likely get divorced from 7yrs from then. It’s not like the “respectable guys” are siting around waiting for them to show up, most of them are also enjoying their own youths partying around and enjoying themselves. And a lot of them deliberately select for women that aren’t looking for marriage at that time and then when they start to get older, start seeking more “family oriented” women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I read this in a totally different way. She's not speaking to women who tried and failed at partnering up. She's speaking to women who, in their 20s, think they are above settling down and want to put it off until they're older. Of course she's wrong if she thinks women simply aren't trying to partner up. That's a bit too silly to think of as truth.

[–]LSTW12344 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She's speaking to women who, in their 20s, think they are above settling down and want to put it off until they're older.

My point is I’ve never met a woman who purposely avoided partnering up in her twenties, I’ve only heard about them here. I’m not entirely convinced they exist, or if they do it’s at a much lower rate than men around here seem to perceive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Anecdotally, I know 3. One is a bona fide "career woman," the other only dates casual and the third one always torpedos her relationships somehow. I'm not saying that it is rampant but I can say that I've observed it

[–]LSTW12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ll believe it when I see it

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I actually don’t personally know any women who are still single in their mid to late 30s.

I know a handful of single women in their late 30's and early 40's (I'm 29 but live in an expat situation). Basically what I've observed is:

Not willing to make concessions Placing high emphasis on their careers Thinking they are attractive because of achievements Aggressive behaviors Huge ego, lack of humility or unwilling to acknowledge their faults Lack of physical beauty

Basically all RPW tenets.

[–]MGTOWtoday-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The problem, in my view, is that women date the same way they shop. They're always looking for the better deal. So instead of looking for someone who will care for you when you're in your 50's and 60's, women look for someone who will suit them right now. This, of course, is why arranged marriages were a thing.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

you found a problem, can you name a solution? other than taking away young people's power to choose, that's not happening any time soon i'm guessing

[–]MGTOWtoday1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Mothers need to teach and guide their daughters (like they used to). But that’s not gonna happen with no fault divorce and fathers not being allowed in their children’s lives.

[–]peterlongcLove.Is.The.Drug0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

the world certainly benefits tremendously from quality parents. but there's no fame or fortune in it i heard

[–]wtffellification0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

not consciously avoiding

consciously is an important word here; because many people are subconsciously avoiding commitment

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This here:

they just didn’t find anyone they wanted to partner up with for life.

And this here:

except to maybe make them settle for someone they weren’t happy with.

Are quite revealing. What she's saying is that you don't have time to waste. You're saying things just didn't work out. Men get reminded on RP and by women here about their failure to maintain relationships, their failure to vet properly and not to bother with marriage if it's so shitty. So when women say 'it didn't work out', it removes some of their responsibility about why things didn't work out. They don't say 'he lost interest because I was boring, stopped fucking him, treated him like dirt...' just that he lost interest.

I'm not saying the guys you dated were all innocent. But women are in the position of choosing and when they're young, they get a lot of offers. If they keep dating men who are not long term material, with the intent that some day they want to be married, the advice in OP's post is really to highlight that time is of the essence. If you're not dating men good enough, you are choosing poorly. If men keep leaving you, you're choosing poorly or you're killing relationships.

I actually don’t personally know any women who are still single in their mid to late 30s.

I know a few. Many are single moms. They tend to have made poor choices while young. They also tend to be poor. If your friends are all married, you're probably a different class altogether, but most women who are single in their 30s are single for a reason.

Also, there is absolutely a phenomenon of women partnering up early out of fear and pressure, which should be equally if not more concerning than women holding off until they’re a bit older. This advice does women no favors from my perspective.

Sure but there is also the reality that waiting too long will also screw with your chances of having a family. It sucks but you have to work with what you can get not what you want. This is why maturity is important. Either be happy alone or be willing to compromise. Women unwilling to compromise will undoubtedly feel they 'settled' but there are plenty of men good enough to do the job around when she's young. If none of the men she meets are good enough, then she's probably got unrealistic standards.

[–]LSTW12342 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t consider my relationships wasted time at all so please drop the patronization.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t consider my relationships wasted time at all so please drop the patronization.

I wasn't being patronizing. If you're uncomfortable with what I said, that's your interpretation.

Whether you considered them a waste of time or not doesn't change the fact that you cannot get the time back and the dating pool shrinks the older you get. If a woman dates with the intent of marriage, but eventually has no marriage to show for it, the result is time wasted. Many women even tell men not to waste their time if they're not serious, especially if they want a family. It sucks but that's what the SMP is like, hence the advice OP pointed out.

[–]LSTW12342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How can something I found so fulfilling, and benefitted from in so many ways, be “time wasted”? Just because my dating pool isn’t quite as large as it once was? It’s still pretty large...

[–]Raikichu-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My thought also. The advice sucks but not because it is anti-feminist

[–]goatismycopilotJohnI'monlydancing31 points32 points  (107 children) | Copy Link

A lot of men do not want to partner up in their 20's because they want to have an extended youth even after they land a job, then they have a bit of money they want to drink with their friends, buy man toys if they make that kind of income, and have casual sex if they are able to. Or they do not want to partner up for other reason, ideology, being a douche, still working out career and financial goals, other reasons I have not thought of. There are more women in their 20's looking for a serious partner/LTR than men in their 20's or 30's. So, the actual issue is not maximizing attractiveness it is finding the person who wants the same thing as them, partnering up.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

Women in their 20s looking for a serious partner/LTR should be able to find one, even if he's just a beta bux. There are plenty of men looking for that in their 20s. Not most, but enough to match up and pair up with the women who want those relationships.

[–]goatismycopilotJohnI'monlydancing20 points21 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Do you know a ton of women in their 20's that are dating? Do you talk to them regularly? This sounds like projection about what some people think young women should be experiencing. Very few men here in PPD want serious relationships themselves so they don't know because they aren't spending much time with those women, other men here in PPD have not been in the dating game for 11 million years so how would they know?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

lol they seriously have no clue. "there are plenty of men looking for marriage in their 20s!" okay grandpa

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not entirely untrue, I just think guys in their 20's think they are only going to marry an 8+. Lots of my friends want to find someone they can marry eventually.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

actual 8+ 20something men are rarely looking for marriage, lets put it that way. the men in their 20s who want to get married are mostly not that desirable and frankly will be right there still single in their 30s so there is zero reason for a woman to rush into marrying them while young.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No no no, I agree with you, the guys who are complaining(who are average) want these 8+ females who are "living their best life" and not average/ subpar girls who might be interested in settling down. no one 8+ really wants to settle in their 20s because well why the fuck would ya.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Yes, and yes.

OK, well, we'll just agree to disagree because PPD isn't a representation of the real world at all

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I'm curious, where are you meeting a wide variety of early 20's women who tell you about their dating and sex life?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Heh. Why should i tell anyone this? So i can be doxxed and told that i'm full of it anyway? It doesn't matter what my answer is; i'll be told i don't understand, i'm lying, i'm full of shit, i don't know what i'm talking about, whatever.

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Okie dokie.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

k

[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

So as soon as he tells you, you can say "I dont believe you" or "Those arent real women" or "they don't represent my values, so they don't count". Been there, done that.

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mean, I don't believe him, and this supposed to be a debate sub so I don't think its unreasonable to question people a little bit

[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Then why ask if you're not going to believe anything he says?

[–]saradoodledumBlue Pill Woman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If he had a plausible answer then maybe I would believe him. But lewiscross posts here constantly and frantically and never changes his mind so idk why you're just calling me out

[–]goatismycopilotJohnI'monlydancing2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough.

[–]peacockpartypantsI like popcorn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds like projection about what some people think young women should be experiencing.

That's where the vast majority of these "theories" come from. So it would seem based on the wild claims that don't actually add up in real life I keep reading.

[–]OfSpock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess if you're willing to marry anyone just to be married, this is true. Most women are looking for emotional connection.

[–]Physiologist21Cynic1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

the fuck is a beta bux?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The unattractive provider type who is boring and bland, and who women end up settling for when they can’t get commitment from the men they really want.

[–]Physiologist21Cynic-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The antithesis of alpha fux obviously.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is also assuming those men even grow up and get that job, as opposed to living with their parents like high school students permanently

[–]Ubermensch-16 points7 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Incoming blast of common knowledge:

Most women think they're young and pretty forever.

Therefore, they think their options will stay open. Women think they will age like Malory Archer when, in reality, they'll age like Dolly Parton.

INB4 some ugly, young, female redditors come in to say otherwise.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

GTF outta here! Dolly is a gorgeous old broad. :-)

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This!! I was genuinely offended on behalf of Queen Dolly!

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

The thing is, the older a woman gets, the more delusional she becomes of her looks. All post wall women there think they are still attractive and hot. And by post wall I do not mean women in their 30s but 40s and 50s. They are all delusional idiots. Once you get past the age of 30 your scale will never get above 7/10.

With few exceptions of course because few women work out, eat healthy and have surgeries so they stay hot up until their late 30s.

But in their 40s it is DONE. It is DONE and there is no way back.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol where do you live? plenty of hot women in their 40s and even 50s in nyc

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure

[–]deadsandsushi2 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy Link

I'm quite comfortable calling myself an 8 at 37. Quite confident actually.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Yes, and as I said, women are delusional. You can call yourself any number you want. It is SMV which decides it for you though. Not you, but other people.

You can not be an 8 simply because there is very high risk you are infertile right now. And thus, your value drops even lower than 7.

And this 1-10 scale is not just about looks, I specifically said YOUTH and youth is fertility. So here you have it, cold harsh truth.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

LOL, more men are concerned with NOT knocking a woman up than with getting her pregnant!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Given that most men want kids (like 85-95%) I'd say fertility is of prime importance for a long term relationship. There is no debate here.

[–]deadsandsushi2 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

Way, way lower than that. I find tons of men who don't want kids to date.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Let's not make things up and just stick to the facts about the general population. You seem to be around specific kinds of men.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/164618/desire-children-norm.aspx

[–]deadsandsushi2 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. I purposely date specific kinds of men. Men who want kids aren't on my radar.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You're going way off topic on some personal rant about the type of men you date instead of discussing the obvious importance 90%+ of men would put on fertility (ability to get a woman pregnant) as per my original reply to willow-girl.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do most men want kids, though, or is it usually the wife's idea and they go along with it to appease them? My last husband used to insist that no man ever wanted a kid. I thought that was a little extreme but not too far off the mark, lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]VermiciousKnidzzBlue Pill Man11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"women can get laid easily" isnt contradicting to feminism. "young women are attractive" isnt contradicting feminism.

i swear, saying "sorry feminists, but....." is just a way to get clicks and get your reader to agree with you preemptively

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True. Most of the upvotes that all these anti-feminist/RP supporting posts, get is due to trigger bait that actually has nothing that contradicts feminism. Most of the time it just contradicts a silly strawman caricature of what they think feminism is about.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat17 points18 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I take issue with the fact that, from what i've seen of the world around me, this is bad, largely false advice.

-For all the prattling about "wife goggles", if a guy's primary attraction to you is based on your youth, the attraction will leave with the youth. Not good.

-If you're not pretty in your 20s, you will probably be considered significantly better looking in your 30s so long as you don't "let yourself go". Nora Ephron, who had a homely 20s, wrote about this--and lo and behold, the kind of men she got involved with got better and better as she aged.

-Are there really these great swaths of women in their 20s who just want to hook up and are ignoring all their marriage proposals? No? Then it's meaningless to write as if there were.

-In this economic climate, "focus on finding a partner" all you want SO LONG AS it's not to the detriment of your career. At. All.

[–]azngirl768917 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

For all the prattling about "wife goggles", if a guy's primary attraction to you is based on your youth, the attraction will leave with the youth. Not good.

But seriously though, this is a huge red flag. It also reeks of "I keep you around kiss my feet wench". Not a relationship I want.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one who thinks this!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

that's 99 percent ALL MALES. Good for you for not dating men. Because men value youth/looks the most.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is old country thinking. Modern American men want a low risk investment. Sure they want a woman they are attracted to, that’s a given. But the practice of marrying a brainless teenager and trading her in after a decade for a new model is gone. Even most wealthy men don’t do this anymore. Keep dreaming.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Modern American men aren't the whole humanity. Just so you know before you assume my nationality.

[–]UnconfidenceSocial Anarchist - BP4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Man, I must be really lucky to have been able to go through my life and have the majority of men I met fall into that 1%!

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You must be. As I said before, in this sub we are all outliers.

[–]Archibald_Andino4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If you're not pretty in your 20s, you will probably be considered significantly better looking in your 30s so long as you don't "let yourself go"

Interesting point. I know exactly what you mean. A person I've known a long time fits this. She is very thin, does a ton of yoga, but has a very average/not that great a face, not great hair, long and wirey. In her 20s she did poorly in dating but now in her 40s she's still very fit and thin and cleaned up her hair/fashion a bit. Now she can compete much better because so many of her female counterparts have let themselves go so much.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. So many people stop taking care of themselves when they age out of being able to pull off the "out all night clubbing" look--if you don't fall into that trap, dress nice, don't eat garbage, you'll be looking much, much better than most of your peers.

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

if you don't fall into that trap, dress nice, don't eat garbage, you'll be looking much, much better than most of your peers.

And they'll still look worst than the attractive younger girls which men (especially top-tier men) their age are prying for. An ugly 18 year old looks much better to most men than a decent looking 34 year old. Age is arguably the most important benefactor for a woman, so telling women to "wait around" is arguably the worst advice you could give them.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you're a 35-year-old junior exec; you gonna take an 18-year-old girl to the company Christmas party? I think not.

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure. You know it'd definitely make the underlings jealous.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And they'll still look worst than the attractive younger girls which men (especially top-tier men) their age are prying for. An ugly 18 year old looks much better to most men than a decent looking 34 year old.

I call bullshit. Because here's the thing you guys miss: most "top-tier" 30 year olds aren't dating 18 year olds, because they don't want to. I was at one point an 18-year-old who was into older guys, and you know what? They were generally utterly freaked out by it. Some older guys will have a fling much younger, but NEVER actually settle down with someone who isn't at least within a decade.

[–]Wandos7naproxen sodium4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my 20's my body was fitter but my face was fat and didn't start getting thinner till after 25. In my 30's I look better than a lot of my peers simply because I haven't let myself go (and no kids).

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But there's so much pressure in either direction. . .women in their 20s are pressured to marry early but if they do find someone early they're called foolish, desperate girls throwing away their lives, settling, etc. They're pressured to not settle down. Either way, women aren't really expected to make these decisions for themselves.

I think it's wiser for people to stop babying young women and realize they can choose a career, they can choose a partner, they can choose both, but there are many variables and it's not all about age.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well most women are finding their future spouse in their 20s anyway so who cares?

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Those who don't

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I doubt they do all that much

[–]UsedAlgae 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Feminism aside, I actually don't think this is great advice. The less attractive people I know have tended to partner up later.

There's been discussion on this sub that both men and women tend to change their standards from "hot, fun" to "stable, good moral character, etc" as they get older. If you're a decent and mentally healthy person, your chances seem to go up as you get older and people care less about looks. Not to mention that there's not many men who are thrilled about partnering up young either.

[–]Barneysparky1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Instead of Alpfa and beta the reality is what you wrote. Both men and women like hot and fun when they are young generally.

Sounds pretty normal when you put it that way.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave8 points9 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I was helping my siblings and recovering from a rough childhood in my 20s, and unworthy men apparently are drawn to people who are vulnerable, thank God I didn’t marry one of them; I started to demand more in late 20s and got a much higher value guy, who would pass most of these “alpha” standards but also had some of the good beta traits like loyalty and such.

I wouldn’t want a guy who obsesses over youth in a woman because then he’ll resent me when I age.

My guy is older than me, but he was actually wary about that at first in case we were too different; that’s better imo than just blindly seeking any young woman.

I’ll say this fully understanding I have an atypical life story, and also that I look young for better or worse and am considered reasonably attractive.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t want a guy who obsesses over youth in a woman because then he’ll resent me when I age.

Yeah, what's up with that? I have found most men tend to be pretty realistic about women's looks and aging, but then I'm no beauty queen, so the kind of guy who is attracted to me in the first place probably isn't in the market for an airbrushed cellulite-free model.

[–]azngirl76892 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I was still in recovery from C-PTSD, I was so popular with men. Luckily, my therapist was able to help me see their real motives or I would've gone through some hard times. I'm less popular now that I'm mentally healthy and have self esteem and that's just fine with me. I didn't date while I was in the thick of recovery, I started to date once I was mostly out of the woods.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Glad you had a good therapist.

Back then I was popular in terms of eagerness, but often really low quality sleazy guys, who I think saw a shy and unsure girl they felt non-threatened by (I didn’t have my sh*t together in the traditional sense so they didn’t look bad by comparison.)

I actually have more interest from men now, but it’s a lot less eager-but that’s partly because I come off like I expect respect now. And since about 29 I got men who were ready for something serious. They used to be less respectful in pursuit and say dumb stuff.

I also know how to dress and makeup based on what looks best on me personally; in my early 20s it was easier to try to fit into trends.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t want a guy who obsesses over youth in a woman because then he’ll resent me when I age.

NO, there is thing thing called "wife goggles" where a man sees his aging woman as constantly fuckable and pretty because it happens slowly in his eyes and he gets comfortable to her wrinkles over time. And it is sort of true, if you find a pretty woman and a GOOD woman (also important) you will overlook her aging as you yourself get older simply because her "good" capabilities will be worth more than her youth. Or any other woman's youth.

As long as you keep his balls drained.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Yes I heard that term, I just know that the type of guy who obsesses over youth and wife goggles, is the exact sort of guy who won’t experience wife goggles at all and will want to trade in the old model.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Nope, it is how the world is. There are tons of men like that and those men who have "wife goggles" wouldn't trade their aging but good wife for a youthful but not so good woman.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol ummm you don’t know much about the world and how it works then if you think trading wives doesn’t happen; and it’s usually the men who fetishize youth and looks.

Like yes all humans look good in their young and fresh adult days, men and women, but that’s different from idolizing that.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

it’s usually the men who fetishize youth and looks.

then he doesn't have wife goggles. He never got them for one or the other reason.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes...the reason that he’s the least likely of all men to get wife goggles due to his overemphasis on youth...as I’ve been saying.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Comically delusional ideas like this is what happens when you spend all of your life in an echo chamber filled with halfwits that literarily don’t know what they’re talking about.

There’s a reason why “trading her in for a new model” is a popular and well known phrase and phenomenon. And one that existed way before RP came up with it’s ridiculous “wife googles” term, which is obviously just a thinly veiled way to placate subservient RPW with low self esteem and give men plausible deniability when they fuck up.

Any woman that thinks that men have any integrity to remain loyal just because you married him young and you cater to his every whim, is a fool. Not only does the personal experience of previously married women prove her wrong, but so does history and modern statistics. Women are much better enjoying their early youth just as men do and seem to settle down in their late 20’s. Not only does it confer the least likelihood of divorce, it also means that you are less vulnerable to be take advantage of, more stable and know what you want and are less likely to have that feeling of having missed out.

[–]ThisIsJustATr1buteHas what plants crave2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The other thing is men not knowing what they want. They all like to imagine they want a docile obedient cock slave and bang maid, when IRL they don’t want that, maybe it’s just me but every man I have known romantically wants to some extent look up to her and have her be a little dominant even, not in a sexual way but just to have the boots I guess. They even get annoyed if you don’t do that.

The wife goggles I do think is a thing but it’s only for men who didn’t fetishize youth to begin with, he sees her as beautiful always because he sees her as a person, and it won’t matter what age get married. So it’s just love goggles I guess.

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust me, it’s not just you. I’ve experienced what you described with several men too.

The men here just don’t know what they’re talking about, or they’re so deep in their delusional fantasies, there’s no helping them. Must be why so many of them are so miserable and unhappy.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

Some women prefer being alone than being with the wrong guy.

It's that simple.

For a variety of reasons, women preferring to be independent bothers people like the advice columnist.

Oh well. There's nothing they can do about it.

Edit: Trollx - hilarious as always. They did a great job of dismantling the thought process behind that tweet and others that think like the advice columnist.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

Some women prefer being alone than being with the wrong guy

Is it any way possible that the tweet's intended audience was those other women who don't feel that way?

I mean, isn't it obvious?

"Nah I don't care I'd rather die alone than lower my standards."

"Then die alone."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

if they preferred being with some random guy not worth being with as opposed to being by themselves then they would. anyone can get a partner if they lower their standards enough.

these women don't want to settle. and they don't have to. some people get really agitated by that.

and why do you think they die alone? just because they choose not to get married doesn't mean that they don't have friends, family, fun, career, travel, pets, hobbies. in fact, if they're not limited by a husband, they have more time to invest in other things.

good all around. you want people to be happy don't you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy Link

if they preferred being with some random guy not worth being with as opposed to being by themselves then they would.

The point being made is that some women may not be thinking ahead to when their looks (which, on the whole, grant a woman more power to choose a mate than when they have looks that aren't as good)aren't as good.

Time only moves in one direction, and some people aren't forward thinking.

these women don't want to settle. and they don't have to. some people get really agitated by that.

It's more like pity for those women who wrongly see themselves as above being strategic. It's not even settling! It's just saying if you aren't good looking anyway, there's a possibility that your looks declining with age will leave you even less options than you have now.

No, you're right, dying alone was an exaggeration. Of course women can fill their lives in other ways. But the ones who want a relationship, for those whom those other things aren't enough, the tweet poses an important strategic consideration.

good all around. you want people to be happy don't you?

Yes! But something tells me more women exist who would be happier at least taking this advice into consideration than will actually take it into consideration. A big reason for this is non gender-specific. People hate thinking about their own decline/mortality/aging. But for women, its especially important because of the looks declining thing. Men's looks decline too, of course. But on the whole women can't make up for that decline with other positive attributes to the same extent that men can.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

except data overwhelmingly tells us that people that get married young are more likely to divorce. it's not a good thing to marry early, that much is obvious.

these women didn't meet someone they liked enough to settle down with (or got dumped, who knows) it doesn't mean they aren't picking the better option.

you might claim that they're unhappy but clearly, if they were they'd do something about it. instead, they stay single and invest in themselves, their careers and their relationships with friends and family. they choose not to lower their standards and good for them.

i completely understand that there's a subset of people that are really agitated by the fact that women don't need men anymore and often opt to stay single rather than settle. there's a host of reasons that can be unpacked and this subreddit is a great example of it

however, i have yet to see evidence of these single unhappy women. marriage doesn't increase women's happiness, that's already studied. women know they end up sacrificing themselves and their potential more than their spouses do. we already see the breakdown in domestic duties. and many have come to the conclusion that few men are worth the sacrifice, or worth even sharing living quarters with.

why settle if you don't need to? men have never had to settle and now women don't.

we should be happy for these people that don't want to enter into bad marriages. some people only get mad over women choosing to live as a bachelorette.

it's futile really.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (23 children) | Copy Link

you might claim that they're unhappy but clearly, if they were they'd do something about it. instead, they stay single and invest in themselves, their careers and their relationships with friends and family.

And if that makes them happy, whoever that is enough for, they're not who the tweet is addressed to. Why does every specific observation have to be made a universal referendum by you people?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

course that's who the tweet is addressed to! lol

she's one of the people obsessed with women realizing that there's more to life than marriage. especially marriage to someone you don't want

women don't need men. that train has left the station and it ain't coming back. people may as well accept it. getting mad over what other people are doing in their personal lives isn't productive or healthy.

she should move on and worry about herself. so should some others in this subreddit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

she's one of the people obsessed with women realizing that there's more to life than marriage. especially marriage to someone you don't want

She's a woman. Her perspective is a perspective of a woman. There are other women who share her perspective. That's who the advice is for.

women don't need men. that train has left the station and it ain't coming back. people may as well accept it. getting mad over what other people are doing in their personal lives isn't productive or healthy.

She's not getting mad, is she? I'm not mad. You're the only one who sounds mad.

she should move on and worry about herself.

Why? Because some women don't need marriage? That doesn't mean all women feel that way. Her advice is for them, the ones who feel they do need it. They exist.

so should some others in this subreddit.

This is literally a subreddit for addressing gender dynamics. You make it seem like a discussion can convince people into doing things, or that advice can

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

ah, the u mad bro.

i guess i should have read the replies to my post as calm and apathetic? the ones calling women crazy that prefer to be alone? yeah. not mad at all. clearly this is a rational discussion. which is why no one here cares what single women do and never post about it. no weird obsessions here.

my mistake, you were also completely calm with the "you people" and fantasies of women dying alone simply because they don't marry.

obviously they don't share her perspective or they would have settled. the better option was independence.

as i said, if women wanted marriage, they'd lower their standards and do it. those that stay single are choosing to do done bevause it's preferable. they may ask wistfully where all the good men have gone, and the extremely calm men of the red pill obviously pay no attention and don't get excited in the least, but ultimately when it comes down to it, they choose not to marry or even co-habitate.

believe what they do, not what they say. ;)

so while i understand that an awful lot of people get upset that in a world where women don't need men, women choose not to settle, but there's really no point to it.

im not claiming that a discussion can convince people to do things, i'm saying that there's a lot of energy wasted obsessing over the choices of women people don't even know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy Link

i guess i should have read the replies to my post as calm and apathetic

Ok. They're mad too. But how is the writer of the tweet mad?

my mistake, you were also completely calm with the "you people"

I didn't say I'm not mad about anything. It does make me mad that this kind of advice, from a woman, is met by other women with "but I don't need marriage!!11!". So the ones who feel they do, and are looking for advice, don't deserve advice?

and fantasies of women dying alone simply because they don't marry.

Some women do feel that way: Some women want a relationship, don't get it, feel lonely , and very much see themselves as dying alone. As you correctly noted, not all women. But that doesn't mean not some women. Any fantasy you see there is an incorrect inference, because, again, we're talking about the audience of people to whom marriage is seen as something they need, since that is who the tweet is addressed to.

believe what they do, not what they say. ;)

It's advice. For people who overestimate their future prospects. Your logic assumes that everyone who does this does it because that is what they want, and that there isn't a subset who end up in this situation because of their failure to account for their decline in looks.

Let's start with the extreme. You don't think that number is "0 women", do you?

so while i understand that an awful lot of people get upset that in a world where women don't need men, women choose not to settle, but there's really no point to it.

The ones who don't need men aren't the audience of the advice. But not every woman feels that way. You know that, don't you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

The only women who say to themselves they "prefer to be alone" have tons of issues and because of that can not be satisfied with any man in their proximity. They want MR.PERFECT. And it doesn't exist so they settle with cats.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

yep. cats, dogs, other animals, friends, family, career, travel, interesting hobbies.

sometimes those things are preferable to settling for someone they don't want.

not every man is a catch. i don't know why you find that surprising. some men aren't worth being with.

for some reason, some people get bothered when women prefer to explore everything else life has to offer rather than shackle themselves to some random guy not worth being with

why settle if you don't have to?

women don't have to.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree 100 percent. Women going their own way should be a thing. If you (general You, learned from /u/LewisCross) can't find a man, then stop your CC and enjoy life as it is. Plenty of stuff to do. I am myself enjoying my life without marriage and kids. Fuck that bullshit.

And I do not get bothered by such women. I only get bothered when they complain about not being able to find a good man. But I am aware that some men are indeed bothered by women who don't shackle themselves. But this "some" is pretty tiny minority to be taken into consideration.

And for your information, I tell the same to losers from MGTOW club. Well, maybe not all of them are losers, that would be too big of a stretch, but a bigger part is just a bunch of emasculated men with toys thinking they found the holy grail of manhood.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

why should women that don't want to marry be celibate?

theres no reason they should stop dating and enjoying themselves if that's what they want to do.

and why do you care if they complain that they can't find someone good? who cares? who does it hurt?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

why should women that don't want to marry be celibate?

They shouldn't, they can do whatever they want. Just do not complain when you hit a wall, that's it. Own your mistakes and failures and put the blame to yourself and I doubt any man will have a problem with such attitude.

and why do you care if they complain that they can't find someone good? who cares? who does it hurt?

because it's a lie. They lie to themselves, society and everyone. I and many other men care because we see through such lies and try to tell you "honey, it's your own doing that got you there, not a man's fault".

Why do you care that we care? I can flip it this way too. Everybody cares.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

people are allowed to complain. they're not hurting you, not hurting themselves, not hurting anyone.

why does it bother you so much?

someone else saying they can't find a man worth settling down with should not cause this much rage, obsession and walls of incoherent text 24/7.

who cares? it's also not a lie. for these people, there aren't any men worth marrying. that's they're reality. so they stay single. what's the problem?

how does it affect you? they're not blaming you, they don't know or care that you exist. they're simply stating reality. why is that a cause for so much rage and tantrums?

and who says it's a mistake? settling for someone is a mistake. not living your life without the restrictions and limitations that come with settling for someone.

why would a life full of friends, family, career, hobbies and travel be a mistake and a failure?

certainly doesn't seem like one to me.

random guys getting angry over the fact that women don't need men anymore appear to be failures at this point in their lives. and are making a mistake by obsessing over others and not moving on with their lives.

they should move on

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very true. I have no idea why choosing to be with cats (I personally prefer dogs), over being with an unsuitable man for her, is a bad thing. Much better to do that than to depend on the fickle nature of a man.

Maybe it just snags their revenge fantasies that the women that rejected them didn’t turn out to be as unhappy as they hoped that they would turn out to be? Misery loves company after all and they prefer to imagine that single women are as unhappy as they are.

[–]lucky_beast4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Posting in any of the TXC subs should be sufficient grounds for an involuntary hospitalization.

Those women are universally mentally ill and completely devoid of reason or empathy.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

She's right, for another reason.

The good men will be taken in their 20's on average. Every single male 30 something I know, outside of a few divorced ones, has some major issues, and this includes a close family member of mine.

There are going to definitely be exceptions to every rule of course, but taking your time isn't too your advantage in relationships in the long run.

there’s not some huge contingent of “hot” 18-25 year old women looking to settle down with an average middle aged man.

Thats from trollx, I have bad news for her, I see this all the damn time.

[–]ReformedTomboyPurple Pill2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah for me it’s not bad advice but her focus is off. Exercise, eating right, grooming etc can significant mitigate aging up until maybe lates 30s. At which point even the most dedicated will shows some signs of aging.

The real issue is the type of people who are single in their mid 30s aren’t the ones who have been diligently working on themselves soo much that they forgot to find a mate (although that too is a yellow flag which suggests a degree of indifference towards LTRs). Many will have obvious flaws but the worst will appear fine until you’ve been dating for 6 months and realize they have problems compromising, forming healthy attachments, don’t want to commit, addictive personality etc etc etc.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Some of it might be "sexual math" too. I'm mid 40's in great shape, no wrinkles and most people think I'm 30 something. Thats great but I'm still mid 40's so the age train will hit soon, even if it hasn't yet.

A late 30's woman who takes great care of herself is still late 30's, you would be "better off" in terms of looks finding someone early 30's who does that same as that gives you that many more years of attractiveness. I realize this is just the physical side, but it is there.

I agree with what you said in general though and especially about the issues for the singles past mid 30's.

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's something to be said about planning for Theta, nothing worse than an option expiring worthless.

[–]boomcheese440 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can you give examples of these "major issues"?

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Violent behavior when upset, alcoholism, complete lack of direction and sloth, other addictions.

[–]boomcheese440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, you are right. I've seen this subset as well.

[–]HumanSockPuppetEqual-Opportunity Oppressor4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Feminists don't like anything about reality, which is why they insist on playing make-believe all day and forcing everyone to indulge them while they do it.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

20-something women are overrated. Honestly if a woman has lost value in her 30s just for being in her 30s then the men she lost value with aren't worth being with.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Where are all the good men

[–]azngirl768914 points15 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Call when the 20 something men want to partner up too. I'm not interested in older men so that kind of limits me no? I'm with someone now and we're probably long term but I got majorly lucky on that.

Also when will men start getting the same advice? They know that they age too, right? A 30 something can't hold a candle to a man in the prime of his 20s. But whoops no one ever mentions that..

[–]dylang92Clear Pill7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

There are plenty of 20 something men that want to partner up, they’re just average looking dudes. But make no mistake, they would absolutely partner up given the chance

[–]darudeboysandstormSoup on the stove, bread rising, apple pie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This, conversely the women most men complain about not wanting to partner up are probably all 8+

[–]Freethetreees2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Only because they can’t get the casual sex they REALLY want

[–]dylang92Clear Pill1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I won’t deny that to be true, but i still believe those men would be good and even caring partners, and you know they wouldn’t cheat because the opportunity wouldn’t arise for them to be able to.

[–]Freethetreees0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

A lack of ability to cheat does not make them any more virtuous or good or any less AMALT. They won’t be good partners if they’re too unattractive to arouse the women they’re with. And they could always pay hookers to cheat, which is even worse than regular cheating.

[–]dylang92Clear Pill1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Depends. If a guy gets less attention and has less options, it will persuade him to be a more attentive partner as he doesn’t have the option to just walk away. Sure I think it creates a “power imbalance” in the relationship, but if a woman is constantly complaining about not finding a relationship, or getting treated the way she wants, she’ll find it’s very easy to get that attention and treatment from an average to below average looking dude way more than one who has those options.

Some anecdotal evidence: a friend of mine tried to get casual sex for a year and half and then switched his gears to a relationship after being utterly unsuccessful in that time. Found a gf a month later and has been with her ever since. They are now engaged and she is very into him and he is 100% into her. Would he ever cheat? Hard to say, but the option never is even given to him anyway, so really does it matter?

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yup. I’m definitely in favor of a woman having more power in the relationship, to lower the chances of the man cheating.

Or, the alternative is to increase her own value by being more fit, more social, confident and kind but in a respectable way, so she doesn’t have to settle for less attractive men. This would actually be the preferred option, so that with whoever she dates, the power balance is either equal or it favors her.

[–]PuleaSpataru69|||2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

A 30 something can't hold a candle to a man in the prime of his 20s. But whoops no one ever mentions that..

What are you talking about? You want to marry a dusty with abs instead on an older man with a career, money, house.etc? The reason why no one mentions it is because it doesnt fucking matter. There are different things that make men attractive.

[–]azngirl768912 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I mean,I can provide those things to myself, I work and I know how to save money. If I'm with a man, it's not for cash. And yes, I'd like to not date someone who is in a completely different stage of life, it's just easier.

For example, I'm still at the age where I want to go out and party and such occasionally. My dude is too. We party together. I couldn't do this with someone who was more a homebody. I don't want children yet and typically people in their 30s want kids like right now. It's a matter of life goals and compatibility.

[–]antariuszRed Pill Man1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Woman doesn’t need a man...

Complains when she can’t get a man...

Will continue to complain when dude she is fucking doesn’t want to settle for her but will replace her with younger model in a few years...

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cute strawman

[–]rainisthelifeFacepalm 😑2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Where was she complaining that she can’t get a man?

Also men that seek to replace their women with younger ones in a few years, deserve women that cheat on them. Glad more women are doing so.

[–]ReformedTomboyPurple Pill6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A lot of single 30 somethings are the older version of 20 something losers. Nothing magically happens when a man turns 30 that causes success. Most (young <26) 20 something women would be happier finding a guy 2-5 years older who has graduated and is working a good job. After all successful 30 something’s where diligent/hardworking 20 somethings.

[–]PuleaSpataru69|||6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There is a bigger difference. one has money and the other doesnt. 30 year olds have more money than 20 year olds as a group.

I also dont want to marry potential. A homeless man on the street has potential, whether he achieves it or not is another thing.

And when that 20 year old finally gets where he wants in life, he gets more options and more younger women hit on him. He might have chosen a woman in his 20s because he wanted to have sex, but it isnt his true choice. Only when he finally makes it you see what he really wants.

Just like a girl who chooses who she wants in her 20s. If she's 30, you're not her first choice. She;s settling for you.

So a man settles for whoever will take him in his 20s. I'm not taking the bet to see what happens when he finally has options for the first time in his life.

I am choosing a man who has options and is in his prime. That's how I really know I am wanted. Just like my husband knew I really wanted him because I was in my prime and had my pick.

[–]ReformedTomboyPurple Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are plenty of attractive 20 something men that aren’t simply settling for whatever they can get at 29 (the average marriage age). I never said any woman should get with a 20 year old with nothing. By the time a guy is 28 or 29 he should have direction in his life, a job that can go and buy a house etc.

Also equating a homeless man to a guy who has an engineering degree and >$90k salary, just started dermatology residency, or is consulting at Deloitte with a 100k+ salary is crazy. Nobody is advocating for women getting with men based solely on “potential”.

30s have more money than 20s but the capital that allows for that happens in ones 20s. That’s why I see nothing wrong with dating a 29 (when I was 24) who had that degree and 100k+ salary. His life (and mine with him) would only get better from there. I think it’s short sided to exclude these kind of men from dating just because he isn’t mid 30s. Especially when the average 30s guy is no where near that high earning.

[–]Thounumber1meow 🐈 *hisses angrily* 🇮🇳-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A 30 something can't hold a candle to a man in the prime of his 20s. But whoops no one ever mentions that..

Many women have voiced the opinion that older men are more attractive cause of life experience/having their stuff together, are you sure about this part? It might be just a minority opinion.

[–]OfSpock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Watch what they do, not what they say. Women preferentially marry close in age.

[–]emailpassword12 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I prefer younger men. No one finds wrinkles and thinning hair hot.

[–]Thounumber1meow 🐈 *hisses angrily* 🇮🇳1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see, makes sense.

[–]tiposkSerial divorce rapist11 points12 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

Women who had no issues finding a partner in their 20s, have no issues doing so in their 30s. All these stories about desperate women in their 30s fail to account for the fact that these women were already having trouble earlier. These women likely have rejection seeking tendencies or a non-monogamous short-term mating orientation. In the last scenario, they only seek commitment because they think that's what they're supposed to do as a 30 something adult.

And no, young women aren't seen as hot by virtue of their youth. This woman doesn't understand that beauty has a lot to do with your style, your weight, your weight distribution, your skeleton and facial structure. The great majority of women are just average regardless if their age.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite10 points11 points  (30 children) | Copy Link

And no, young women aren't seen as hot by virtue of their youth. This woman doesn't understand that beauty has a lot to do with your style, your weight, your weight distribution, your skeleton and facial structure. The great majority of women are just average regardless if their age.

They absolutely are. This is a rediculous statement. A 40 year old woman who is fat and ugly is going to get far less attention than a 20 year old women who is fat and ugly. In fact you can prove this yourself. Go to literally any dating profile make a woman that looks 40 who is fat and ugly and a woman that looks 20 who is fat and ugly.

You'll notice the difference immediately. Youth is attractive.

[–]tiposkSerial divorce rapist4 points5 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

... and yet, the fat and ugly 20 year old is still considered unattractive even if her youth gives her a marginal advantage over the woman who's 40 and in the same boat. Some people aren't attractive.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Define attractive in terms of a woman?

[–]tiposkSerial divorce rapist5 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Big eyes, small jaw... classic beauty like Charlize Theron and body like Jayde Nicole. Much of it comes down to fat distribution and skeletal structure. Yes, they probably were more attractive when younger, but most young women don't look like them simply because they are young. I don't understsnd what you're trying to get at.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite-2 points-1 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Attraction is the measure of how well you attract other people. You are describing arbitrary traits that makes someone pretty or handsome.

Women don't have to be pretty to be attractive. They are attractive by the very nature of having a vagina. Men will flock to them even if they look like Quasimoto. Women have a huge base line attraction that is regardless of their physical attributes as long as they have a working vagina. This same thing cannot be said of men.

A young, fat ugly women is very attractive to a ton of men.

[–]tiposkSerial divorce rapist0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

Desperate men, sure!

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

Even top quality men. Doesn't really matter the type of man. Women are attractive regardless of whether or not they are ugly or socially awkward or all the other things that would make a man repulsive to women. Vagina is attractive on its own.

[–]tiposkSerial divorce rapist0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

I don't know about other women, but I don't consider a man top quality if he bangs anything on his sight.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

So Brad Pitt isn't top quality? What about Leonardo De caprio?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

not to same age men

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

To all men.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

no, a 25 year old men do not consider average or unattractive 25 yo women beautiful by virtue of their youth, because they're comparing them to actually beautiful 25 year olds. some old irrelevant man might consider her beautiful, but he is irrelevant.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

We are not talking about beauty. We are talk ing about attraction. 25 year old men will be attracted and want to have sex with ugly 25 year old women. Whether they will want to settle down with them is another story. But attraction is about who you want to have sex with. And men will fuck pretty much any woman.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

25 year old men will want to fuck ugly 45 year old women too. correct, men will fuck anything, so whats your point??

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's exactly my point. Ugly women of all ages are attractive to men of all ages. They just need a vagina.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

so like....how does this relate to ugly 25 year olds being more attractive than ugly 45 year olds to 25 year old men because that was what i said

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The statement I am arguing against is when this was stated. And I quote.

"Some people aren't attractive."

This is simply false.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for being a woman and being red pilled.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're welcome dear. I'm wondering why you are thanking me. Do you believe that me being redpilled will benefit men other than my man and my son?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It will benefit your man and your son and that is all that matters. I can be happy for strangers too.

[–]LittleMissAfrodite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aww thankies.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All these stories about desperate women in their 30s fail to account for the fact that these women were already having trouble earlier.

YEP. The Daily Mail likes to take these women out for a flogging periodically. Half the time they've been visibly crazy their whole lives.

[–]MustNotFfff2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And no, young women aren't seen as hot by virtue of their youth.

Wrong, just plain wrong. Genetics are huge factor, yes, but an average or below average woman in her early 20s is easily as attractive as an officially attractive woman in her 30s. That officially attractive woman will, very likely, start to recede in the looks department before too long. And she carries a lot more demands and emotional baggage than her 20 year old counterpart.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot4 points5 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

she is wrong. from what i see around me, the best time for a woman to partner up to actually maximize her mate potential is probably late 20s to mid 30s, because that i when same age men are most interested in getting married.

focusing on mate selection when you're at your youngest and most beautiful is how women end up getting dumped at 28 with their tits in their hands wondering how they ended up wasting a decade of their best years on a guy who ends up engaged to the next girl he dates after 6 months.

top tier men DO NOT MARRY the most beautiful girl they've ever dated. they marry the one who they see being the best mom and female head of household for their needs.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She's saying 20s, you're saying late 20s (to mid 30s). Isnt the relevant counterexample women who wait till mid to late 30s?

Even if high quality men don't marry the most beautiful woman they've dated, they certainly factor in beauty, and by that logic the "not pretty woman" she's talking about could very well be more likely to be chosen by a high quality man if she leans toward settling down in her late 20s rather than measurably later, when her looks are less looky.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

women dont want until their late 30s to get married unless marriage is legitimately just not that important to them in the first place, so the "advice" is weird and unnecessary

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

from what i see around me, the best time for a woman to partner up to actually maximize her mate potential is probably late 20s to mid 30s, because that i when same age men are most interested in getting married.

Instead most men around that age prefer to settle with women much younger than themselves and generally will if they afford it. Women (or maybe I should say "girls") have much more bargaining power when they're far below 30.

top tier men DO NOT MARRY the most beautiful girl they've ever dated.

Close to it. Just look at the majority of celebrity men's wives. Wealthy men's wives are virtually always MUCH better looking than poor men's wives.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Instead most men around that age prefer to settle with women much younger than themselves and generally will if they afford it. Women (or maybe I should say "girls") have much more bargaining power when they're far below 30.

much younger? no lol. not at all true! i go to like 800 weddings a summer for high earning attractive guys that age and age gaps are reaaaaaaally uncommon

[–]boomcheese442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree. Older men think they will be able to score a naive mid-20s gal. Maybe from Ukraine or something or if hes very rich. However, most people marry within their same age group, at most 5 year age gap.

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Really? What exactly do you do that gets you to go to "800 weddings" (which averages almost 9 weddings a day) in the summer for only "high earning attractive guys". Sounds like quite the niche market... :)

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

i work in finance

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

As do I, yet I don't go to "800 weddings in a summer" for some strange reason... What part of finance enables you to attend so many weddings?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i have a lot of friends babe. who work in the same industry as me

[–]AryaBarzanProud Fat/Slut Shamer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Apparently enough to somehow go to 8 weddings a day! :)

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

She is right. You don't get more beautiful with age. You get old. Everyone does. We just get less attractive and our knees crack and body parts don't work like they used to. This is a 100% biological fact.

Nobody cares when the prime age is for men and women to get married. That's not what she's talking about. She's saying if you're ugly you'd better partner sooner than later, because life is getting harder by the second. Again, that's just a fact.

You're welcome to think that the prime age to get married is 30's. Fine. But you're probably not who the tweet is for. The advice isn't for you, so stop pretending that your life circumstance applies to everyone.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

no its not a "just a fact", facts are based in evidence and she provided nothing. she offered nothing linking marriage rates, optimal marriage parts, and beauty by age. stop using the word "fact" and "truth" to mean "things that i ~ feel ~ sound right". i don't care how you feel, i care about the facts and lacking that i will go off my anecdotal evidence over your anecdotal evidence.

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

No anecdotal evidence here. It's a fact that we get ugly with age -unless you're saying we get more physically attractive with age. And it's a fact that men like beautiful women - unless you're saying that men don't like beauty. I doubt you would say the converse, which means, and you know it to be true, that these facts are indeed fasts. This is reality. All further truths can be extrapolated from those two points. All it takes is a little deduction.

Her advice is general: marry sooner if you're ugly. She doesn't need to say exactly when because we're all individuals with different circumstances.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

i don't necessarily care who men like. i care who men commit to partnering with, which is what were actually talking about.

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men care what men like, and if someone wants a man they should therefore care what men like.

It's little use for some people to wait until the statistical ideal age of marriage if their youth and beauty is not long for this world. You're effectively telling some young women to play dice with their lives - wait until there's a better chance. Well, maybe their best chance is now?

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

men don't marry for youth and beauty. again, i don't care what men "like", i care what men do

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Look further back. Marriage is like step 5 in a relationship. Men find dates based on beauty, then relationships based on compatibility, then marriage on stability.

Beauty is primary.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is irrelevant for unattractive women of any age since men who primarily search for beauty were never in their reach. their looks don't depreciate enough for it to matter whether they marry at 22 or 32.

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For some it might.

[–]Mattcwu 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy Link

How is crazy feminism so blind to these basic realities?
Are older women so desperate to feel "hot" that they need a whole ideology?

[–]azngirl768916 points17 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Women don't just shrivel up, it's a gradual process. On that note, aging affects everyone. It isn't a lady only phenomenon.

[–]CamoWoobie108 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It effects women way more. Not the process itself, but the social aspect. Theres a reason women are so concerned with "anti aging" shit, while most men dont even care.

[–]azngirl768912 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Maybe men should be more concerned with anti aging stuff. I've seen some pretty gnarly old men.

[–]CamoWoobie101 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Maybe they should be, but I think the reason they arent is because it doesnt effect them that much. Being ugly is the major part, if you're a well put together old guy who has his shit together, it's not going to effect you as much. It's not extremely uncommon for an older guy to be with women half his age, or at least a 10-15+ year age gap. women that actually see a future with him. This dynamic gender reversed almost never happens. If I had to guess it's probably 1 in 25 vs 1 in 1000.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Personally, I think that we simply don't perceive men as having declined in attractiveness even if their aging is exactly as visible as that of a woman their age - for the simple reason that our lizard brain doesn't equate "usless from an evolutionary perspective" with old looks in men, but does so with women. An old man who is in shape can still provide, protect and sire children carrying his genes, and if he's a really high quality specimen, he does all three better than an average young man. Compare that to an old woman: even if she was the hottest woman in the world in her prime, when she's 45, nearly every 20 year old blows her out of the water when it comes to a woman's job in the evolutionary department.

[–]DumbledoresFerrari1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's partly that, but also they do actually age worse. Less collagen so they wrinkle more, menopause causing worse fat distribution

[–]OfSpock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's the inverse of 'even an ugly girl can get casual sex'. Even an ugly guy can get a woman to marry him.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But women are valued far more for looks than men, and of that notably youth and fertility

[–]WhiteningMcClean-4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but men don’t become “old” in the eyes of women as quickly as women do to men. A 35 year old man has more willing dating partners than a 35 year old woman.

[–]BaiKinguUltraviolet Demon Witch8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Actually, a woman of 35 still has a significant dating advantage in terms of dating pool than a 35 year old man, on average. They tend to take more of a hit from their peak than a man, but they're still seen as more valuable.

Women have a larger dating pool on average than men of the same age, regardless of age. The gap will close a bit, but never completely.

[–]aznphenix0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women have a larger dating pool on average than men of the same age, regardless of age. The gap will close a bit, but never completely.

Might be true around 35, but maybe around 50/60 it does flip.

[–]BaiKinguUltraviolet Demon Witch0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, you might think so, but it really doesn't. More people are into mature looking women than you might think. Men at that age can compensate by being very succesful, but likewise a woman that age could also just have taken very good care of herself and look a lot younger. A man could also potentially have taken good care of himself and look younger, but women tend to their appearance far more on average, so it doesn't compensate. On average, women are still more desireable at any age.

[–]aznphenix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

50/60? I just mean that men die earlier on average, unless you're saying younger guys like people starting to look like their grandmothers.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

In the real world, by your 30s most family-minded people have partnered up and it becomes much more difficult for a woman who was a 6 in her 20s but now is a 4 in her 30s to find a suitable partner that meets her standards.

Also paradoxically the standards of women in their 30s go up just as their ability to command those standards decreases.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's fascinating thing, I know. I am still amazed how true it is.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The thing you're not factoring in here is that a man becomes much more optional as we get older. A woman in her 30s has probably figured out how to make her own money and get her car serviced and who to call when her furnace quits working. She really doesn't need a man unless he makes her life appreciably better in some way, and the more she has her shit locked down, the higher her standards are gonna be.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And the less she has to offer to a man. That's assuming you are aware that men and women are not the same and have different expectations from each other

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And that's fine. I think most women are pretty realistic actually! I've known a fair number of women who are not raving beauties and are realistic about the quality of men they're likely to attract, and thus are content with being single. (Often they already have a kid or two from an earlier romantic misadventure.) Have known women who go for years or even decades without dating and don't seem to mind. They probably wouldn't mind if some attractive guy with his shit locked down popped up on their radar, but they're realistic about the chances of that happening. They're not pining away for him. They're busy living their lives.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Busy being single mothers. It's all on them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing you're not factoring in here is that a man becomes much more optional as we get older.

It goes the same for men, and actually I think we're more prone to giving up earlier than women. We never needed woman for money or cars or whatnot.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

lol post wall women claiming that they are pretty in their 40s... gimme a break! You women are delusional!

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most women are pretty in their 20's ... as Amy Alcorn says, they have the gloss of youth. A woman who is still attractive in her 40s has much less competition from her peers, and exponentially less if she remained childless. (Ask me how I know this.)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean this advice is basically a woman's red pill. You can't have it all. Fair or not your greatest asset is your looks in terms of how you're valued by the world - both men and women alike. The people that hate red pill advice for men and women include feminists and a lot on the social left right now

They'd rather deal in the way things should be than the way they are. So many women in our generation are putting relationships on hold to focus on career or traveling the world. What they don't realize is you can do both but it might take some sacrifice (not traveling for a new job, not having some earth shattering experience abroad full of random lovers). These women were lied to and when they wake up in 5-10 years it'll be too late

[–]nemma8831/F/UK INFP -t. Engaged1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds so cheesy. They don't need any FOMO settling advice thanks.

Someone should tell this woman it's 2018 and we'll all get divorced and find a richer guy in late 40's who'll buy me a great car for settling with him (some anecdote from all the single older ladies I know... I do think there's a pattern there, and I'm feeling safe because I started off higher on the pretty ladder).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

The type of men you interact with gets better as you get older and they are more interested in commitment too.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Gets "better" because women shift their priorities from fucks to bucks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope.

[–]hammerhauntsbread pill-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

racist

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you know any 20 year old guys that want to get married besides yourself?

[–]hammerhauntsbread pill0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

my dog

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is your dog single?

[–]hammerhauntsbread pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yea

[–]red__aaron1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think it’s just feminists who would find this tweet icky.

[–]Mr_SmoogsThe 2nd most obnoxious poster here4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's one thing to find it icky, another to find it inaccurate. The whole theme of this subreddit is often not something you discuss in good company.

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[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For the non informed whats the difference between TrollXChromosomes and TwoXChromosomes?

[–]mc0079Non-Red Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

christ, did you find your topic lines from buzzfeed 101?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In a perfect world, no one is judged on their attractiveness. It's what's on the inside that counts, etc.

why is this a "perfect world"?

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What about when you're a guy and this has been a problem?

[–]catemlBlue Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Apparent advice: younger people are generally considered more attractive. News at 10.
Real life: far more complicated.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not really, she'll just pair up with her male equivalent who isn't married yet. This woman (or any woman for that matter) will not run into any wall. An unmarried 30 year old woman will just date and marry an unmarried 30+ year old man, her equivalent. It's not like younger women want Joe Blow so he's going to go for her.

[–]battyryder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just wanna say that there are a lot of young men out there who would love to partner up with somebody. They can't because of modern day dating strategies.

[–]bkrugby780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A 4 is an 8 to someone.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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