TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

74

CMVDiscussion: you can’t say “I don’t care about how much money a woman makes” if you expect her to pay for 50% of things. You can’t say “I don’t want a career woman” if you also expect a woman to financially “pull her weight”. (self.PurplePillDebate)

submitted by TheMarbleSlab

If a man expects a woman to “pull her weight” or pay for half the bills, then he can’t say “I don’t care how much money my wife makes”

Yes, you may be willing to have sex with a woman who is not going to pay for anything or is working as a cashier, but unless you’re willing (and able) to foot the bills/ become a breadwinner, you can’t say that you don’t care what a woman makes.


[–]PPD-Angel[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

This post is making an affirmative claim and will be tagged as a CMV. All top level comments must challenge the OP's view.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though26 points27 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

If a man expects a woman to “pull her weight” or pay for half the bills, then he can’t say “I don’t care how much money my wife makes”

That seems reasonable. But in your title you said

You can't say "I don't want a career woman" if you also expect a woman to financially "pull her weight"

That is not entirely true. What if "her weight" is small? She wouldn't need a career to pull her weight. A job may be enough. If the weight is low enough then maybe a part time job is enough. It all depends on how heavy "her weight" is.

Live in a minimalistic way in the right area and the weight to pull is quite small.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that’s true. I think if it is proportionate it is fair.

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Of course it depends on the area but if a woman doesn't have expensive tastes/ambitions it is not hard for her to financially pull her weight.

I personally think that is easier for a woman to pull her weight by being such a good partner to the point a man thinks paying for her is worth it... but I don't think that opinion is common.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because doing that is very very hard to clearly define

[–]Barely-moralMostly red though1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are a few common sense traits to achieve but after that the woman would have to adapt to the man she is trying to attract so I agree with you. After a few basics, it is actually hard to define unless you know your target.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep in mind pulling your weight doesn't necessary mean paying half for everything. It can easily be doing more of the housework while pitching in what money you can for the bills.

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If the weight is low enough then maybe a part time job is enough.

If she's too lazy to work full-time at a real job that's a huge red flag.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gotta agree with someone else on this: Laziness is not always wrong, if she can manage to have money without working or with working less, why not, as long as she's not leeching you ofc.

[–]Nodoxxintoxin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

​

I haven’t worked a real job in decades. Unless collecting rent checks counts

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a red flag if she expects you work in order to be able to take care of her needs without her reciprocating.

If I am in a relationship where I bring home enough money so she doesn't have to work, but instead takes care of our kids, I wouldn't consider that to be a red flag.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas31 points32 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

This is a misunderstanding of TRPs admittedly over the top hyperbole and the actual opinion .

Hyperbole: I don’t want a career woman, which readers would reasonably think means literally any career at all. Some TRP actually think they mean this but don’t know wtf they’re getting into imo.

Reality: most TRP don’t want a “Career Woman” tm meaning a Sex in the City style masculine, overworked, over accessorized, in your face personality type woman. These women do exist irl and that’s fine but we don’t want to date them. We want women who are available in terms of literal time, and not crushed by stress who are sweet and caring.

My gf has a 40k/year job she’s not passionate about. She makes seeing me a huge priority and while I need to pay for us sometimes it’s not some crazy burden. She pays all her own bills and lives fairly frugally . I have convinced her to go back to school so she can have better options in life but she’s mostly doing it to please me and I have to help her pick classes every semester .

[–]reluctantly_red8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have convinced her to go back to school so she can have better options in life but she’s mostly doing it to please me

If she doesn't really want to improve her credentials she's going to start resenting you (I've been down this road).

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m trying to abide by the old PUA adage: leave her better than you found her.

She moved up a position where she works due largely to my insistence (she is competent but sort of an underachiever). She finally moved out of her shitty brothers house where she was not respected into a place with nice, respectful room mates. Even if the education is a wash she’s still improved in key ways and has repeatedly thanked me for pushing her out of her comfort zone.

I’d love to hear your story in as much detail as your willing, maybe it can help me avoid some pitfalls. My gf is a really good person and deserves better than she currently has.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

leave her better than you found her.

Good to see some of Ross's teachings on here.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's nice. I want to set an example for "career women" who choose to be feminine as well. I see women on YouTube (sahms) and they're beautiful, have natural talent and discipline in their home care and family care, and inspiring. I personally want to be like them. Physically appealing, sweet, kind, fun, loving, and domestically adept. It's all possible even while kicking butt at your job, IMO. It's partly helped with compartmentalization; separating work and home life and putting effort into both areas. My passion for my career puts me in an upwards career trajectory and my current and future incomes are substantial - enough that I could be the breadwinner if I wanted. But rather than needing to spend my income to foot the bill for two people, we do things 50/50 since he makes almost the same as I do. What this means is we both have time to dedicate to ourselves, each other , and our home, hobbies, responsibilities, and social life. I think that one's income nor passion prevent them from having a healthy, balanced, fun, loving, and relaxing life style with a person you love. Just my opinion.

It's not easy, but neither is anything in life worth achieving.

I'm just glad I found a person, to whom I'm able to complement and he's able to compliment me. My passion for work isn't the only thing I'm passionate about. I'm passionate about him and us, so I'm passionate about making our lives happy. I'm passionate about life and love and such. Maybe it's just my weird personality type, but I just love being able to share this with someone while also getting work done and being good at it. :)

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My passion for work isn't the only thing I'm passionate about. I'm passionate about him and us, so I'm passionate about making our lives happy. I'm passionate about life and love and such. Maybe it's just my weird personality type, but I just love being able to share this with someone while also getting work done and being good at it. :)

You seem to get it. A lot of "Career Women"TM seem to be only passionate about work and its like the rest of life does not matter. Only the project, the deadline, the client. As someone who works the last thing I want at home and on dates is a continuation of the hours I spend in the office.

[–]CombatStaceyBlue ovaries3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You seem to get it. A lot of "Career Women"

TM

seem to be only passionate about work and its like the rest of life does not matter. Only the project, the deadline, the client. As someone who works the last thing I want at home and on dates is a continuation of the hours I spend in the office.

That's exactly what women hate about career husbands.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It makes sense. Personally, I compromise with my fiance. Once in a blue moon I go the "extra mile" but only if I'm struck with inspiration or an idea and need to let those thoughts flow and take advantage of the energy. I ensure such things don't happen frequently Enough to cause issues in our relationship. For instance they might coincidw when he's watching a game or playing one or if he's sleeping. I never interrupt our quality time with work.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone gets it.

[–]sawouthkayCool and Smart Black Purple Piller1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Very well said.

Focusing on them paying their share is also a great way to filter the ones overly interested in ressources.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

This is also true. My gf paid for all our outings for our first year of dating because I was broke and swimming in debt. She also stayed with me during my first severe panic attack and called the paramedics , she did not lose interest after this demonstration of weakness like most women would.

She was there for me, not my money lol

[–]nemma8831/F/UK INFP -t. Engaged1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

How can you even be red flared when you experience is so blue.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Simple: Not All Women Are Like That girl cxj has

[–]nemma8831/F/UK INFP -t. Engaged0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's why we have purple flairs >:/.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You can still be red despite having the occasional positive experience.

Besides, cxj's GF not conforming to 100% to the AWALT woman (the ideal type of a woman) according to RP (no woman does by the way) doesn't mean she has nothing in common with the AWALT-woman.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Correct. She has many AWALT characteristics but that’s ok because nobodies perfect. We have to love in spite of our flaws. I personally don’t want to resent women just for being women. You get the good with the bad and hopefully the latter Outweighs the former. For me it definitely does.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahahaha my experiences are “blue?” Are you new here? All the old schoolers here have read my story of false accusation of domestic violence ad nauseum. And my gf is into me for “redpill” reasons, IE I am muscular, handsome, have a masculine presence , don’t take shit from people etc. my gf literally says “I don’t like making decisions” and wants me to decide shit for us. She does everything I like in the bedroom.

I went through years of crazies and AWALTS before I found her

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The part where he says "like most women would".

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They mean for fucking and plates.

They dont want to get married, i mean you get that, right?

[–]dylang92Clear Pill2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was going to say this. Men don’t care the same as women for casual sex and relationships. It’s not like you’re gonna marry this person, in fact all you’re thinking of doing is fucking them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is not true, but it matters as much as money matters to women.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus11 points12 points  (42 children) | Copy Link

You can’t say “I don’t want a career woman” if you also expect a woman to financially “pull her weight”.

A woman does not need a high flying career in order to pull her weight.

I may have a different definition of career woman that what you are talking about though.

Theres a difference between a teacher and an unemployed woman.

However there is a difference between a teacher and lawyer

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 9 points10 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

Yes there is a difference between a teacher and a lawyer. But....

  1. A teacher still has to work long hours during the school year

  2. If you’re making $150k a year and your teacher wife is making $50k a year, it’s a shitty thing to not contribute more to the retirement/ savings/ mortgage than her and expect everything to be split in half

  3. A teacher doesn’t make that much money, and may have to work long hours with side hustles to make ends meet.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

  1. If you’re making $150k a year and your teacher wife is making $50k a year, it’s a shitty thing to not contribute more to the retirement/ savings/ mortgage than her and expect everything to be split in half

Why? We're all equal now, men and women--remember?

I'm not sure how your points about working long hours are relevant

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 5 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

My point isn’t about “equality” or feminism. It’s about fairness and kindness.

The argument I am making:

Men claim they don’t want a career woman because she doesn’t have time for a family/ children.

But then they don’t bat an eyelash about expecting her to work long hours to get by.

You’re better off being a lawyer working 70 hours a week and making $120k a year than a teacher working 2 side hustles working 70 hours a week and making $70k a year.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men claim they don’t want a career woman because she doesn’t have time for a family/ children.

But then they don’t bat an eyelash about expecting her to work long hours to get by.

Does anyone actually literally expect both of those things in the same woman? They're by definition mutually exclusive.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Some men do

[–]shenanigans386 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And an exponential amount of women suddenly forget that equality and rights bring with them responsibility. Another good point is girls who suddenly forget about empowerment when the dinner bill arrives, then equality flies out the window.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you do care about money

[–]shenanigans386 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m a different fucking commenter lol

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Or get a 40hr/week job in the 6 figures lol.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

please list out what they are and how to find them

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Engineering jobs, management jobs, technology jobs. Good companies. There's lots of jobs out there for good money. First you sort of have to narrow down a few options of what you'd like to be doing then you examine and cross reference salaries. Software engineering salaries for sure are pretty rediculous and hot right now so if you wanted to start off on the right foot I recommend that tragectory but it's far from the only one.

Some leg work goes into getting into these fields. I find internships can be very useful.

The key is finding a company that values employees and ensures an adequate work life balance by not expecting over working is the norm. Be an over performer regardless and boom.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Would you marry a post wall woman who got this kind of degree later in life?

Would you marry a 25 year old who is just starting engineering school and managing a full time job on top of it?

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a woman. So no to first one.

Second I don't see why not. Their earning potential matters more but I'd tell them not to work themselves too hard and prioritize mental health and I would put him first in our relationship and hope hes madly in love with me enough to reciprocate.

Hard to answer these questions with the genders flipped, though

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I work in software for 6 figures. I have a remote job too.

IMO women should look into non-engineering jobs in software: customer support, marketing, design etc.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Would a man tolerate a post wall woman being in engineering school while working a full time job?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I said non-engineering jobs. There are entry-level positions that would put you on track for a good salary/lifestyle.

[–]PennnyLameMY VAGINA IS A SOVEREIGN NATION!! ✊🏼0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don’t need to be in engineering school to get a support job...

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re better off being a lawyer working 70 hours a week and making $120k a year than a teacher working 2 side hustles working 70 hours a week and making $70k a year.

Got to agree. My GF is a MBA who actually makes a bit more than I do.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

If you’re making $150k a year and your teacher wife is making $50k a year, it’s a shitty thing to not contribute more to the retirement/ savings/ mortgage than her and expect everything to be split in half

That would be between me and her.

A teacher doesn’t make that much money, and may have to work long hours with side hustles to make ends meet.

Most the teachers I know can afford to live alone. I cn afford to live alone. Therefore its logical between us, we can afford to live together. Personally Im not after a Giant Mansion nor am I interested in dating overly materialistic women.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

that would be between me and her

And this is a discussion forum about relationships.

If I was working at 65-70 and my husband was retired and watching me work, I would be pissed.

If I divorced and my husband said “well I paid for more so it’s more for me” instead of splitting the house in half, neglecting to account for the value of my work in childcare, homemaking, etc. As of any value to him, I would be pissed.

If I lost my job and my husband didn’t want to support me, I would divorce.

If my husband went on nice vacations etc I can’t afford and didn’t let me go or expected me to come and pay, I would be upset.

Most importantly, if he expects me to look a certain way to make him happy (eg breast implants, nose job, skin care, gym, hair care) but then doesn’t want to contribute to paying for those things, he can’t be bitter when I don’t do them.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

And this is a discussion forum about relationships.

If I was working at 65-70 and my husband was retired and watching me work, I would be pissed.

Why the hell would you still be working at that age? Are you on minimum wage and have no savings or something.

If I lost my job and my husband didn’t want to support me, I would divorce.

OK and?

If my husband went on nice vacations etc I can’t afford and didn’t let me go or expected me to come and pay, I would be upset.

Are you looking for a dysfunctional relationship of the year award or something. In previous relationships where i have gone on holiday, me and my GF decided together and worked out what we could both afford.

Most importantly, if he expects me to look a certain way to make him happy (eg breast implants, nose job, skin care, gym, hair care) but then doesn’t want to contribute to paying for those things, he can’t be bitter when I don’t do them.

Thats the thing, for me personally anyway, I like to stay in shape and want someone with similar outlook. I dont want someone to just goto the gym for me.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why the hell would you still be working at that age? Are you on minimum wage and have no savings or something.

I was spending most of my salary to fund your lifestyle.

Are you looking for a dysfunctional relationship of the year award or something. In previous relationships where i have gone on holiday, me and my GF decided together and worked out what we could both afford.

No, but that’s what happens when you make more but still expect her to pay.

Thats the thing, for me personally anyway, I like to stay in shape and want someone with similar outlook. I dont want someone to just goto the gym for me.

A huge amount of why I work out is to be attractive for a man.

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I was spending most of my salary to fund your lifestyle.

I have my own job, I wouldn't need you to fund it. If I couldn't afford the lifestyle I wanted, I would change my lifestyle or look for a higher paying job.

No, but that’s what happens when you make more but still expect her to pay.

So your saying men should pay for everything. Even if I have a GF who earns the same, I should still pay? Have you even been on a holiday in a relationship. What your saying does not match up with my experience or the experience of anyone I know or have ever known.

A huge amount of why I work out is to be attractive for a man.

Maybe you should do something for yourself. Lik I goto the gym 3-4 times a week, just for ME. Does it make me more attractive, yes, but that isn't the reason I do it. And I sure as hell wouldn't expect a woman to pay to maintain my fitness nor would I make a threat of becoming a slob if she didn't.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

So you do care about money

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I do care about money, I have to buy products and services in order to live. I would happily live in a cave, grow my own food and hunt mammoth's, but that is a thing of the past.

However, a woman's financial success is not a high attraction trigger for me. I would happily get in a relationship with a non high flying woman career wise. There are other elements at play than just financial success. Ive dated a "career woman" before, and she was always stressed out, working about 14 hours a day and had no free time. Ive dated women who earn less but are less stressed, happy and more pleasant who can still afford to live. I would take the second choice any day.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What if she is stressed out and working 14 hour days just to get by and contribute?

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

(eg breast implants, nose job, skin care, gym, hair care) but then doesn’t want to contribute to paying for those things, he can’t be bitter when I don’t do them.

What if he does pony up and she uses her improved body to attract a new guy?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He can audit her

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

As a ex-teacher and now a professor myself and of a long family history in teaching, Please do not misrepresent us.

We have one of the most flexible hours in the work force, sure you can only choose annually, but it is more than enough if you are good at planning.

Some rare teachers take long hours to achieve high earnings (like my parents and grandparents, which taught the entire city), some take lesser hours to a minimalist lifestyle (like my uncle, which has an simple but easy life) and most take just enough classroom time to have extra earnings as teaching is not their main source of income.

Most teachers I know are normally not only teachers, like my grandma which was a teacher and a housewife,(as at the time it was quite needed) my brother that was a technician and a teacher and me who was a teacher and an political party handyman.

Please do not misrepresent our line of work.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You’re in Latin America where teachers are treated better than in the USA. In the USA, outside of high paying areas, it’s not more than a job that supports one person.

[–]shenanigans382 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

BRUH. LATIN AMERICAN TEACHERS ARE TREATED BETTER THAN THOSE IN THE USA YOU SAY? MY GOD

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

. . .please, stop misrepresenting us, and research before talking . . . We live way harder lives than EUA teachers. Almost no job is capable of supporting one person, teachers and professors included.

But like I said, do not misrepresent us. We have high choice in our working hours. That is why many chose this area. Some just want flexible working hours, if you gonna live in poverty like everyone else, having at least the capabilities to choosing how you work is certainly a plus.

Ps. I envy my uncle's schedule. But again, I intent to leave this hellhole before finding my easier life.

[–]emailpassword12 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Totally off topic, but where I live, a graduate Lawyer makes 50k a year, and a graduate teacher makes about 70k...

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lawyers pay varies greatly -- teachers not so much. Teachers also don't have near the income growth potential. Even as lowly public defender I make 30 or 40% more than most teachers in my area.

[–]emailpassword12 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Teachers go up to about 85k here, which is about the average for lawyers as well. The teacher does get 12 weeks paid holidays though, which makes a difference. Of course there are more opportunities for an increased salary as a lawyer, however, less job opportunities over all.

I find it interesting how this stuff varies by country :)

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Comparing the top of the teacher pay scale (which can take 20 years or more to reach) with a junior attorney isn't really a valid comparison.

In an ordinary California city (Sacramento) teachers start at 46K and with a PhD and 25 years experience top out at 98K. Sacramento County public attorneys (i.e. DAs, public defenders, deputy county counsel, ...) start at 102K and top out (usually in 10 to 15 years) at 165K.

[–]OHG11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can tell you know dick all about teachers. Its one of the hardest jobs a woman can do

[–]Mr_White119811Hugh Mungus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your right I dont actually know a lot despite knowing 3 female teachers.

None of them obsess about their work in social gatherings like women with careers like lawyers do. Also they still seem quite feminine unlike women with other careers.

That was my point, not how easy or hard it is.

Obviously Im not speaking for every teacher there is out there. Only from my own experiences which involves more than just these 3.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

However there is a difference between a teacher and lawyer

Your sanity high fiiivee

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah -- being a lawyer is a lot more fun (I was a science teacher before I became a lawyer).

[–]lucky_beast8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is no more true than claiming "You can't say you don't care what's for dinner if you wouldn't eat roadkill." There's a threshold below which we're not even talking about what's for dinner because what's offered is not a real dinner option.

I can absolutely expect a woman to be an adult while simultaneously not caring how much money she makes. I can also say I don't care how a woman dresses but also have the expectation that she doesn't dress like a clown because it's not within the normal expectation of how someone will go out dressed.

[–]icarebot2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I care

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If a man expects a woman to “pull her weight” or pay for half the bills, then he can’t say “I don’t care how much money my wife makes”

The more she subscribes to absolute gender equality--rather than gender complementation (each gender brings equally worthy but substantively distinct value to a relationship)--the more I expect her to pull her weight financially, up to the asymptote of complete equality = straight 50-50. I don't care if she makes as much as me if she can split a $40 dinner and household supplies--she doesn't have to earn as much as me to participate equally.

Yes, you may be willing to have sex with a woman who is not going to pay for anything or is working as a cashier, but unless you’re willing (and able) to foot the bills/ become a breadwinner, you can’t say that you don’t care what a woman makes.

Sure I can. We'll do the things she can afford and I'll pay half. What's so hard?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

So would you retire at 65-70 while your wife works at age 65-70 and watches you retire?

Would you expect her to pay half of daycare?

Why not just pool the money together, live a frugal lifestyle with X amount of fun money each month (eg $200-300) and save the rest?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So would you retire at 65-70 while your wife works at age 65-70 and watches you retire?

I almost certainly wouldn't marry someone who believes in equality to the extent necessary for me to enforce such a result. If somehow I had, then yeah. If that's the situation Im in it is because I traded off my desire for someone who believes in traditional gender roles, and accordingly I would have at the beginning been upfront about what my expectations are. "OK, you're not a homemaker or child rearer, but I'm not a retirement plan."

Would you expect her to pay half of daycare?

That's equality. I would have earlier on given her the option of being a stay at home mom, which, by the way, would obviate the need for daycare, and then I would pay all of it were it needed for when we go out for fancy dinners (paid for by me of course) or extravagant vacations.

I don't know if I'm some kind of outlier as a guy but I'm fucking great at making money and fucking detest the drudgeries of modern life. So really the ideal for me would be a woman who says "you earn, I'll take care of the rest." Naturally I'm willing to compromise, and will likely have to in a world like this, but I'm only willing to compromise fairly, in a way that doesn't require me to dismantle the integrity of how I perceive reality.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you care about how much money she makes and want her to take care of everything else too

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No no, in that scenario I want her to not work, let me take care of earning, and she takes care of the homefront. (I guess that counts as "caring about what she earns" in that we'd agree she earns nothing?)

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No one forces you to date a guy who makes 3 times as much as you.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No one forces me to date a guy who makes 3 times as much as me and doesn’t want to use that income to support a family

[–]bonusfruit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure I can. Watch this. I don't care how much a woman makes. I can still factor her income into a date scenario when the time comes to foot the bill. Its gonna come up anyway. No need to be autistic and rigid about it. If its obvious she makes as much or more, its stupid that I pay for her. If shes broke, I don't mind. Either way, her income or lack thereof isn't why I'd be dating her

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man4 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

well first of all it's a free country i can say whatever i want.

you seem to have trouble understanding that people do different things in different situations. and you also don't seem to understand that there are completely different dudes saying these things. the guys saying they want their wife to pay half of the household expenses are obviously NOT the dudes who say they don't care how much money a woman makes or that they would prefer a SAHM.

for me personally, if i go out with a cute youngish college chick who doesn't have much money, i don't really mind paying for our drinks because honestly it's not that much. but if i go out with some 30 year old CareerWoman there's no fucking way i'm paying for her drinks.

i'm a fairly successful guy. i make enough money that i could comfortably support a stay at home wife who isn't working. for me, if a woman is ambitious or successful or has a prestigious career, that's actually a huge red flag because those women suffer lifestyle creep.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What about the 30 year old KHV? What about her?

[–]dylang92Clear Pill-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What do we tell the incels? Suck it up and work on yourself and not worry about men.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

A 30 year old man still hasn’t peaked.

A 30 year old woman is past her prime and useless to men.

[–]dylang92Clear Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I beg to differ. I’ve seen plenty of dudes who are 30 look real bad. Many men will peak physically at 22-25.

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

any woman who is a KHV virgin either has actual mental issues or is obsessively dedicated to something like religion or academics (which for all intents and purposes is also a mental issue).

women can be volcels, but no adult woman is truly incel. even obese / ugly /socially inept women can find a man who is willing to fuck them as long as her standards and expectations are reasonable for her SMV.

normally a woman with less experience would be preferred over a roastie who has been riding the cock carousel and has fucked dozens of dudes. but if a woman has made it to 30 and is still a KHV, that is an extremely bright red flag indicating that she is damaged goods and not marriage worthy.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

lifestyle creep

Aka women who don’t want to live in the ghetto.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There are a few shades of grey between "ghetto" and "able to afford a penthouse in Manhattan"

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Where I live:

Gunshots and homeless people: $1300 a month

No gunshots and no homeless people: $2000 a month

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

He said "ambitious or successful or has a prestigious career" and not "earns 50% more so she can leave her terrible life behind".

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to make $6000 a month after takes for $2000 to be 1/3 of your income. And this is for a studio apartment. That’s $72k a year after taxes or around $100k a year before. 99.9% of careers that pay $100k or more are prestigious.

And don’t get me started on the house which is like $4000 a month.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

The instagram woman lifestyle is not about not living in the ghetto. it's about flexing in front of other woman.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This isn’t about Instagram lifestyle. Where I live, you hear gunshots in the area where a studio apartment is like $1300. You don’t hear gunshots where a studio is like $2000.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Move somewhere else. Why would you want to live in the city anyway?

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You know very well that men (or anybody) aren’t calculating exactly 50% of all bills and purchases for their SO’s to hand in before they both pay.

Men (and most people) want to feel like an equal contribution or effort is being made in the relationship.

Post comes off as a dishonest rant.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9zjkw1/comment/ea9ub0e?st=JOTIRFP3&sh=96631420

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's an example

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you really think that guy brings a calculator everywhere he goes and logs his SO’s spending so he can hold it over her head as grounds for separating if she doesn’t put in exactly half of all the expenses?

[–]kandyapplezborn in '91 👸 💅1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't know why you're acting like there aren't couples who split everything 50/50

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Everything?” Literally, everything?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can say that, it's just illogical.

[–]PearsOfWrath1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say I'd want a potential wife to pull her weight but it's not necessarily financial. If she's not making money she should do all the home management and child care.

[–]VermiciousKnidzzBlue Pill Man1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

idunno, i dont care what my partner makes, i personally dont know what she makes. we split rent down the middle but we each only pay for ourselves when we go out unless one of us is feeling generous.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How can you marry someone without knowing what they make?

[–]firstpitchthrow1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I will keep this short. The entire issue here is feminism and why its cancer. Feminism is the attempt to extract extra privileges for women without having women take on the extra responsibilities typically needed to get extra privileges. For this reason, feminism's own internal logic is inconsistent. All people who are opposed to feminism are really asking for is consistency; either take the extra responsibilities that go along with extra privilege, or do not take on the extra responsibilities and don't gain any additional privileges. Every time I have to explain this, it blows my mind how fucking simple this is, and how many people don't get a very simple concept.

If my wife doesn't make any additional money, and I married her, then I am perfectly okay with her not pulling any additional financial weight. However, if my wife does make additional money, then I expect her to foot a share of the bills. The OP's statement that if a man expects a woman to "pull her weight", then he can't also say "I don't care what my wife makes" is utterly MEANINGLESS. Its about what the rules are.

What is not okay is that my wife makes a lot more than me, an yet, I PAY ALL THE BILLS. That's what feminism's end goal is: a transfer of wealth from men to women. Its giving women all the same privileges as men, and then some (the high salary) but not requiring them to take on any additional responsibility (pay the damn bills).

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

when you're married you should pool all your money together, agree to save x amount, agree to have x amount each as your own personal money that you can spend no questions asked, agree to spend x on rent/ food/ bills/ etc every month and budget out everything.

[–]firstpitchthrow1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

That's in no way what your topic starter was about, though. You're topic starter wasn't about a practical exercise in budgeting. Of course, whatever it is you and a wife make, you pool resources, figure out what you'll spend and how and etc. That's common sense, that's the day to day practical realities of existence that we all do.

That's not what you asked for, though. Your topic starter was about the ideological element. Your topic starter was about the following statement (at least, this is my particular interpretation of it):

If a man takes on a wife who has an income of her own, and he expects her to help him foot the bills of running a household, then he has no right to consider how much she makes.

That statement is bullshit. A man can express a preference for a wife who doesn't make as much as he does and still expect her to chip in on the bills each month, while he pays MOST of them. If he makes 3/5th of the household income, for example, its is reasonable that he should pay 3/5ths of the bills. His making MORE is independent of his expectation that she CONTRIBUTES. That was my point about feminism: it wants power for women, without having women take on the additional responsibilities. It is, in other words, the opposite ideology of Spider-man. Feminism is "with great power comes no responsibility". That was what your topic starter was, and that is what I was replying to.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It’s not feminism. I am no feminist. It’s that men say what I said in be op, that they want their wives to pull their weight and don’t mean what you said, that she should just work and chip in. They mean they want her to pay exactly half.

[–]firstpitchthrow1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It’s that men say what I said in be op, that they want their wives to pull their weight and don’t mean what you said, that she should just work and chip in. They mean they want her to pay exactly half.

In this case, your topic starter is a strawman fallacy, because there is literally not a single man I have ever met who wants his wife to contribute exactly half of expenses if she makes less than he does. Its nearly always proportional. In other words "pull your own weight" DOES NOT MEAN "pull exactly half the total weight".

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I see it all the time.

[–]firstpitchthrow0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen it even once. Based on my experience, its not a thing that exists. When people split the check on dates, the only thing I've seen is "you pay for what you ordered and I'll pay for what I did", and not strict 50/50 check splitting.

If it is a strict 50/50 split you're talking about, then you're right, the two positions are logically contradictory and your view is the correct one.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its right here, m8 https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9zjkw1/comment/eabzyhz?st=JOURGTLT&sh=a61b75b2

[–]firstpitchthrow-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I read the exchange you linked, and I was reminded why I so very rarely come on this sub, its generally not worth my time. That exchange gave me cancer, and the logic issues, not to mention the lack of general awareness are things that are so gross, they aren't worth my time to reply to. I think that's enough internet for today.

[–]PmMeYourUnclesAnkles1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Long time lurker, but as a SAHW's husband I'll dive. I don't care that she doesn't make a dime, it's been like that for the last 15 years. We didn't plan it from the start, we both had low paying jobs but when we got our 2 kids I landed a job with a nice pay and she didn't bother going back to work for 1/3 of what I made. So we ended up in the traditional husband wife roles by default. As for a woman "pulling her weight" well... It's only a matter of what she brings versus what she demands I guess. We don't need anything fancy and we raised our kids without spoiling them, I eventually lost my job but after finishing to pay for the house so we were debt-free. I landed a job that payed less but was less stressful so it was OK for us. I never really cared about money as long as you can afford the basic nécessities. Providing for a family on a single upper middle class salary is doable I guess, as long as you don't care about keeping up with the Joneses.

[–]icarebot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I care

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

  • Men aren't attracted by women's money, status, wealth, or anything like that, LET THIS BE CLEAR ONCE FOR ALL you pathetic piece of incel.
  • You can perfectly not care about her money and expect her to pay 50% of the expense, you do not care, it's HER problem, HER responsibility, not YOURS, why are you trying to make everything men's responsibility in your reasoning you sick AWALT fuck.
  • Women "pull their weight" with SMV which doesn't include their wealth and status.

Childless LTRs where the couple live together but both are working are just room mates who fuck. You do not care about how your room mate pays its parts of the bills, it's not your responsibility, you just make sure you don't become room mate with an unstable social outcast.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Men aren't attracted by women's money, status, wealth, or anything like that, LET THIS BE CLEAR ONCE FOR ALL you pathetic piece of incel.

As stated: For sex but not for marriage

You can perfectly not care about her money and expect her to pay 50% of the expense, you do not care, it's HER problem, HER responsibility, not YOURS, why are you trying to make everything men's responsibility in your reasoning you sick AWALT fuck.

So you do care, you just pretend you don’t.

Women "pull their weight" with SMV which doesn't include their wealth and status.

No, you explicitly said above that you want her to pay 50%.

Childless LTRs where the couple live together but both are working are just room mates who fuck.

No it’s not. I wouldn’t go drive hundreds of miles to visit a roommate in the hospital. I wouldnt financially support a room mate if she lost her job (although it sounds like you wouldn’t support your spouse if he/ she lost their job), I wouldn’t buy a house with a room mate, i wouldn’t clean for or do errands/ chores for a room mate, i wouldn’t encourage my room mate when times are hard.

Unless you don’t do that stuff for your spouse.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

As stated: For sex but not for marriage

Attraction is subconscious, men don't have anything else than sexual attraction. What you think of is conscious and objective evaluation of a partner for specific goals.

No, you explicitly said above that you want her to pay 50%.

She pays 50% or we don't live together, doesn't mean I'm not fucking her and dating her.

...

Surely you can support your partner more than your room mate, however financially speaking this is how it works.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

fucking and dating

Why would I want just that and nothing more?

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Then go to a man who has expenses on your level. Or wait that you finish your studies and get a job before moving in with him, and date him in the mean time, that's what 90% of students do.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So he cares about money for marriage.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He cares that he isn't exploited, she cares about money.

[–]woyspawn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Childless LTRs where the couple live together but both are working are just room mates who fuck.

My thoughts, exactly.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not exactly the same men making those two statements...

[–]CainPrice1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

If I wanted to get married, she'd better have at least two degrees and a job in a promising field. People who can't finish college and grad school and hold down a real job are losers.

If I want to have sex, I very literally don't care what she does for a living, where she went to school, or how educated she isn't.

I don't want to get married.

Therefore I don't care.

Other men who don't want to get married also don't care.

The end.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Nursing: i made $80k straight out of nursing school with just a bachelors. I quit that job for a day job paying $60 k but now make like $75k. I’m on track to make like $80-95k for life with a good pension.

The only graduare degree that really would pay off is nurse practitioner school. Or going out and becoming a dentist/ MD. People with a MPH or MSW don’t make much more money and have a more saturated job market.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Still won't marry you. Go back to school!

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Why? To make the same amount of money but still spend $30-60k!

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's okay. We could have totally still hooked up. You don't have to be marriage material for that.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hooking up is a useless waste of time.

[–]CainPrice-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You've been hooking up with the wrong guys!

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hooking up with the right guy = hooking up with your husband.

[–]PanderjitSingh_k1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a 70s conversation. This was all dealt with on the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

[–]MGTOWtoday1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

On the other hand you can’t also say that a man pays for drinks, meals, dates, be a good provider, and still say you deserve equal pay.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That doesn’t make sense. You work and get paid for the job you do. If the job pays $30 an hour then that’s your pay.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's protective because women have decided they want it all, but still at men's expense. The want the freedom of feminism but the comfort of patriarchy making sure she doesn't have to worry.

I personally don't care how much she makes, but I sure as fuck am not going to waste my own money on her when the world is pushing her ahead of me everywhere including the workplace. My wallet follows me my entire life, a woman is temporary.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

a woman is temporary

Why are you marrying someone you perceive as temporary?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who said anything about marriage?

[–]DrDoctorNoLife1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pull her weight and pay half the bills are NOT identical or interchangeable. If she pulls her weight, then yes "I don't care how much money my wife makes" - as in, she's doing something equivalent to paying half the bills. You can think of it as, If I work 10 hours a day, she better be working 10 hours a day - I don't care what she is doing but it better be "work" equivalent (cleaning, taking care of kids, cooking, studying for something better). The "work" must be benefiting both of us in the same way as money would.

It cannot be something like, I come home from work, she doesn't work and insist (as in bitch) that I help do the normal housework. Bitching at the guy is laying on the guilt which blows (the equivalent would be the guy bitching about the girl not working). And housework honestly doesn't take that long in a 2-3 person house. It is absolutely not a 40 hour per week thing. If that is the case, I would rather a girl work full-time, I work full-time and then we split the chores half-and-half. This sort of relationship is best. There's a reason why most divorces are due to money problems.

[–]icarebot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I care

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's two separate groups saying each thing.

[–]Whodunnit88Survivied Purge Week 20181 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly. No one is that clueless.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're talking about human beings. Yes, we're just that clueless.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No it’s on the same forums and oftentimes the same people.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, it's not. Link me to the same person saying your two claims.

[–]Xemnas811 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

which fora?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey Xemnas my man holy shit long time no see! How are things?

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey man :) haha it has been a while, hasn't it? Well if you thought I'd made a transformation into a Chad in the past 2 years then you'll be disappointed. And I'm under orders not to depression-post too much, lol. But I'm a bit better and also in the middle of moving out.

What's new with you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

also in the middle of moving out.

This alone will help you plenty honestly. What's your work situation like as well?

What's new with you?

Still the same old druggie but I got a new job in the City. Things are going very well with my girlfriend and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time despite a few issues here and there (I no longer use oxy after it almost killed me). It's all positive from me tho I'm about to buy some Gucci shit cuz I work in the fucking City haha. Took some Valium and codeine this morning feeling fresh.

[–]milquetoastmf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can't men say what they want?

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill2 points3 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

It isn't my expectation, it's society forcing this expectation on me. I don't want to expect her to financially pull her own weight, but I also don't want to let her call a divorce at a whim, and take half of my earnings.

You are blaming men for an expectation that was forced on them by women primarily. Whether it's direct or indirect, women want men to care about women's earning ability, and they pushed laws to force men to have those expectations.

I don't care about how much money she makes because all I would do in the marriage, share her income. If she makes 30k, I'd put in 30k into the marriage, and keep my other 60k for myself. I'm okay with living in a small home, I can use my 60k to go on the expensive dinners that I like, or to buy myself a nice car, etc. But I can't do that, because the law forced me to share my other 60k.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

You have to be pretty selfish to want to keep that $60k for yourself alone to buy lavish dinners and cars.

If she’s making $30k and you’re making $90k, and you don’t want to contribute that money into a married partnershipC then either don’t marry her or only marry someone who is making $90k or more.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You are saying "it's selfish" but the asset split for alimony etc. is a legal obligation. Not a moral one.

Most RP men I know are happy to contribute their assets into a working relationship, but they also want a boundary that she doesn't get to keep access to that financial pool should the relationship fail.

The actual equivalent would be the ex-husband getting sexual access to his ex-wife. The only reason this assumption of sharing assets=financial entitlement to assets post-divorce, is because of child-centrism justifying gynocentrism. Same reason men are shamed for opting out by people who claim to be pro choice. (Disclaimer: I'm meeting more and more pro-choice people who support paternal surrender laws for men.)

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

should the relationship fail

Aka when he leaves her for a 19 year old after 35 years of peaceful marriage

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you admitting that in terms of 'amoral sexual strategy,' that this need for assets to be shared equally is in part a ransom/contingency to ensure he cannot enact the male version of hypergamy?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes because men do that on a regular basis. Men are the hypergamous ones.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (26 children) | Copy Link

Why am I selfish.? I worked hard for a long long time. I was in school, and I studied for 8 years. I'm still studying because I have to keep up with the laws and regulations in order to be able to do my job. I earn every penny of my money. If she's making 30k a year, she probably didn't try very hard throughout her life. Maybe she spent her youth traveling, or sleeping around or partying. I didn't do that stuff, I sacrificed that stuff because I wanted to make more than 30k a year for my life. Because I wanted to be able to buy a nice sports car, or a nice condo. Because I wanted to be able to have nice dinners and expensive bottles of alcohol when I became an adult.

Why should she get any portion of my earnings, when she didn't put in any of the work or effort that I put in. Nothing in this world is free. Women don't give men anything for free. Men have to work to be attractive to initiate in order to get sex, women don't give that out for free. Men have to settle for 2 weekends a month in the case of divorce while paying half the cost, women don't give men kids. Women don't give men anything at all without expecting compensation, why should I, or any man, treat women any differently then society treats each individual or from the way that women as a whole treat men?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

$90k a year isn’t enough to buy a sports car unless you’re not buying it in cash.

  1. She married you. You made the CHOICE to marry her

  2. She does housework, child care, etc

  3. You agreed to be a team, United as one and not separate individual entities. If you want to not be a team, that’s fine, but don’t get married

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the car. You can get a porche for 80k, that's easy, I'll buy that in cash on the spot and not even feel it. Mind you, I've only made 90k a year for a couple years now, but I'm not an idiot with my money.

She married you. You made the CHOICE to marry her

I chose to marry her, I didn't choose to give her free money. If you are equating marriage with free money, then you are admitting that women are greedy financial centered individuals. Yet most women say that that's not the case.

She does housework, child care, etc

Most women bitch that men aren't doing that stuff. The expectation is that men do that stuff regardless of whether or not they make more money then she does, hell, from women's point of view, it's regardless of whether he works 12 hours a day and she works 5, women want men to do the domestic duties.

You agreed to be a team, United as one and not separate individual entities. If you want to not be a team, that’s fine, but don’t get married

No, we didn't. We agree to get married. Marriage is not defined by the reallocation of income, it's defined by a piece of paper. That's all it is. Just because people get married, doesn't mean that the rule of fair trade are thrown out the window. Don't forget, the rules of fair trade aren't thrown out the window for women, women still get alimony by law if she chooses to end the marriage. You can't have it both ways, either marriage means you are team throughout the entire engagement or it doesn't.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

If she’s working 5 hours a day and you’re working 12, why should she do more housework?

You’re not financially supporting her. You made the choice to work 12 hours a day.

You should do HALF the housework.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

If she’s making 30k a year and I'm making 90k, why should I put in more money than her?

I'm not financially supporting her. She made the choice to have a career path that only earns her 30k

She should put in half the finances into the marriage.

If she is incapable of doing so, then I should put in less in the marriage and keep more for myself in order to ensure equality.

How's my statement any different from yours? I literally just copied and pasted your comment and changed a couple words. The last sentence was to help you understand

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

So why don’t you just do half the housework? You chose to work 12 hours a day. Not my problem.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

So why don't you learn to live on a 30k annual income. You chose to have poor income, not my problem.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

So why don’t you learn to do all the housework.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Finally, if you look down on her for not making $90k, why are you marrying her?

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm not looking down on her for not making 90k. I'm saying that I'm not going to give her more income than she's giving me. And marriage is not about money, maybe it is to you and to women like you, but for most people, it isn't.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you’re not pooling together your resources, your marriage is faulty.

Also how can you afford a $90k Porsche if you’re making $90k BEFORE taxes?

Are you living with your parents?

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you’re not pooling together your resources, your marriage is faulty.

We are pooling our resources, but only to the capacity where contributions are equal. Like you said, it doesn't matter if I work 12 hours and she works 5, it doesn't matter if my resources for time are 7 hours less than hers, I'm expected to still contribute half the housework. So why is a marriage faulty if a man doesn't pool his money, but not faulty if a woman doesn't pool her time?

Are you living with your parents?

Actually, I own a condo in Toronto, fully paid for. And I just bought a house just outside toronto as a rental property. I have a retirement fund for myself and my father. Oh, and by the way, I didn't get an inheritance, I didn't get lucky in the stock market, and I am not involved in anything illegal or illicit and have never been involved in anything illegal or illicit. Every penny I've ever received has been reported and taxed. When I moved out, I had $500 in my bank account, and I didn't get help from my parents since my parents don't have much to help me with. I can afford it because I worked hard and studied hard, I invested, I budgeted and I didn't waste my money or time on excessive partying and traveling. I'm 28, I moved out when I was 20. I can afford the porche because, like I said, I'm good with money. Oh, and by the way, I haven't technically paid interest on any loan in about 2 years now. I can afford the Porche, because I know money, I know how it works, and how to work it. Because I studied, hard. Because I took risks, failed and learned. I can do these things because I took the hard route, I took the stressful jobs, the difficult jobs and I learned.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re expected to do half the housework BECAUSE you don’t contribute money.

Also, let’s say you’re 30.

$90k a year is about $70k after taxes.

Imagine you give $250 from each paycheck to your 401k.

That’s $2442 per paycheck.

Rent for a studio is about $2000 a month.

That leaves you with $1519 to get through the month.

Food is about $500 a month.

That leaves you win $1019 a month

Then let’s say you don’t have any more expenses. Just to be friendly.

That leaves you with about $90,000 as your life savings. Let’s say you saved $100k.

Now that’s the down payment on a condo.

Something is not adding up.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re expected to do half the housework BECAUSE you don’t contribute money.

If She contributes 30k and I contribute 30k, and keep my other 60k, I'll do half the housework regardless of hours. If I have a choice between dusting and doing some dishes as opposed to paying her 30k (60k/2), I'll do the housework, no problem. It's fair since we are both agreeing that we only pool resources up to half the requirements of the relationship and any resources above half are ours to keep. If she contributes 30k, and I contribute 90k, then I should only do that proportional amount. Which, since she is receiving 100% of her contributions back from me, that means that she should be doing 100% of the housework. Calculation is (((90k+30K)/2)/30k)=2. Meaning that she is getting 2 times the amount that she is contributing, which translates to 100% of her income.

In terms of my finances, it's like I said, I spent the time, gained the knowledge, and used the knowledge. I'm not going to explain to you how I made the money, suffice it to say, I got very little sleep during those times and kept my expenses very low by renting basements and having roommates. It initially started out as me wanted to save as much as I could for my dad's retirement, but I made enough money to be able to fund my father and buy what I wanted to buy.

[–]kandyapplezborn in '91 👸 💅1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i mean you don't have to get married lol

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women either want a marriage or want kids. Men often don't have a sea of women willing to go out with them the way that women have men. Men have to put in more effort into dating. These two combined factors mean that men have to compromise, either spend a very very long time looking for a compatible mate within a very narrow sample of women, or spend less time by broadening the pool.

Where I live, having kids has the same divorce ("separation" under common-law) laws as being married.

[–]AutoModeratorMarried to MRS_DRgree[M] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Attention!

  • You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.

  • For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.

  • If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.

  • OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So it truly is career woman week is it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Only women get unreasonable demands in what "a good partner is!"

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

Oh well this is easy. Two different men. Biologically deterministic Red Pill Neomasculinist Tradcons/PUAs, and socially constructivist MRA-MGTOW. Note: some MRA are tradcons, while some MGTOW may idealise traditionalism but ONLY with reformed laws. Until then they boycott the male gender role.

MRA-MGTOW like this are deliberately questioning traditional gender roles, just from a position of hostile sexism (unlike male feminists who tend to question benevolent sexism...from a position of benevolent sexism LOL)

So men de-pedestalise women's beauty,not because it is objectifying but because it gives her (or rather gives him the perception that she rightfully has) too much dyadic power.

When you consider all the rhetoric in MRA-MGTOW about men being a tax farm and 'marriage is a plantation' then these men expecting women to pull their weight financially makes sense.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Speaking as a card carrying men's rights activist myself, MRAs cannot logically say that they don't want a career woman. They would be literally contradicting their entire doctrine.

MRAs who twist themselves like that are making the whole movement look hypocritical. You can either complain about women who don't pay for 50% of things or you can complain about career women. You can not have it both ways. When are the MRAs/TRPs gonna figure that out? SMDH

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

That's a strawman. Men who want housewives are not the same people as men who want woman that bring in an equal salary.

Go ahead and link me to anyone that says both things.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

He’s taking about the cognitive dissonance of wanting a dependent unemployed wife any then getting mad that men have to pay alimony to their dependent unemployed wives.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

If she unilaterally decides to stop holding up her end of the bargain then why should he continue to hold up his?

Say you make a deal with your neighbor. He can use your car and you can use his boat. Works fine until one day he says fuck you I'm not letting you use my boat anymore but you still have to continue to let me use your car forever because I need it for work.

How does that deal sound to you? Fair? Equatable? Perverse incentive?

The whole structure of a single income family was made for a time where lifelong marriage was the rule.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not a proponent of alimony. But being with a dependent woman results it — wait for it — dependence. You can’t have it both ways.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Did you read the post you just responded to?

"If she unilaterally decides to stop holding up her end of the bargain then why should he continue to hold up his?

Say you make a deal with your neighbor. He can use your car and you can use his boat. Works fine until one day he says fuck you I'm not letting you use my boat anymore but you still have to continue to let me use your car forever because I need it for work.

How does that deal sound to you? Fair? Equatable? Perverse incentive?"

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What part of you lie in the bed you made are you not getting?

If a woman said she wanted a succesful husband and then complained that he was never home or helped with the kids, I’d say the same thing.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There is no bed. Once the housewife no longer does her job then she no longer gets paid. Sure she gets a severance pay so she can look for a new job but she is not the ex husbands burden for life. Lifetime alimony is pretty much no longer a thing.

You don't get to quit your job and continue to collect your salary for life. That was a loophole that arose from the transition from a lifetime marriage system to a no fault divorce system. Now it's being closed so aspiring shitbag women won't be able to live like a parasite collecting alimony for life from someone they do nothing for.

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That was not the point of the comment you replied to. Stop with the non sequiturs.

I said in plain fucking English:

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not a proponent of alimony.

That was not even his point.

He said:

Speaking as a card carrying men's rights activist myself, MRAs cannot logically say that they don't want a career woman. They would be literally contradicting their entire doctrine. MRAs who twist themselves like that are making the whole movement look hypocritical. You can either complain about women who don't pay for 50% of things or you can complain about career women. You can not have it both ways. When are the MRAs/TRPs gonna figure that out? SMDH

The point here for the third time is that manospherians want the control without the responsibility.

You marry a woman who doesn’t have her own money or has less than you and you are sharing what money you have with her. Community property is the law in almost every state.

If you don’t want a woman who is financially dependent on you, dont marry a woman who will be financially dependent on you. This is so not a difficult concept.

Why are you so argumentative? Just calm down and try to understand what people are saying to you.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The argument which follows is based upon her premise that security is a de facto positive right for women.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Are you back back

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hi Sublime! Giving it a trial run, lol. How are you?

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m good! Happy thanksgiving. Welcome back.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

[–]philomexaSUNFUCKER1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hark! He has returned!

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey there, u/philomexa! Huh, seems more of the old guard have held post than I initially assumed...

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So then he shouldn’t say money doesn’t matter to him when it clearly does.

[–]Xemnas812 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you found the same man saying these two contradictory statements? IME, it's said by 2 different ideological shades of RP

[–]statsfoddernot blue, not red.0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

I work fulltime, run an online business and have a side hustle on weekends... I'm expected to still do "my share" of the housework, kids, etc etc. I do my own laundry, pack my own lunch etc etc and I'm expected to pay for everything... please tell me more about "fairness"

Women can't claim to want a family man who does his share then expect him to work like a dog to pay for everything.. women can't expect man to pay for the kids but never get to see them... there are plenty more examples because from what I see your claim never happens in comparison to the reality of what actually happens in the real world.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I work fulltime, run an online business and have a side hustle on weekends... I'm expected to still do "my share" of the housework, kids, etc etc. I do my own laundry, pack my own lunch etc etc and I'm expected to pay for everything... please tell me more about "fairness"

Now you see how the modern woman’s life is!

Women can't claim to want a family man who does his share then expect him to work like a dog to pay for everything..

If she’s working like a dog to pay for everything, too, it doesn’t make the housework go away

[–]statsfoddernot blue, not red.0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Getting the kids ready for school, finding how to kill 6hrs, act tired and grumpy while i cook dinner... very hard life

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You forgot. And working 3 jobs to survive in addition to doing all that.

[–]statsfoddernot blue, not red.0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

LoL I don't know a single married woman that works a fulltime job let alone 3 jobs.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I know several who work full time, several who work 2 jobs, and a few who work 3

[–]statsfoddernot blue, not red.0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

They either have no husband or a broke, abusive one, right? Or... they are motivated and want more from life and realise that if they get in the trenches with their husband they can build something TOGETHER..

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No they are married, they just live in an area where the cost of living is high.

The thing with building together is that they still have to do the childcare and house work.

[–]alby3330 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I dont even know a sahm who doesn't share the housework with her working husband, these days men are expected to do housework and take the provider role and take the kids off their wife's hands when they are not at work because women push the mother is the hardest job in the world nonsense (it's not) and I certainly have never met a woman who works more than one job whilst looking after the home

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not the “hardest job in the world” but you do get tired after spending all day with kids and giving your wife a couple hours of alone time every week is not being a simp.

[–]alby3330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't recall saying anyone was a simp I myself was/am very active with my kids most fathers these days are. Most Kids are at school/playschool the large part of the day.

My Mrs did the stay at home bit for a while she found it not enough to keep her occupied she maintains it's not a full time occupation for a productive human

I was lucky to be earning enough to keep the Mrs at home many young families require 2 incomes to buy a house if you don't wanna bring your a game for your family don't have one

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who exactly is saying this?

[–]_Neon_Shadow_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, I can say that. She doesn't have to be a millionaire to pull her weight.

Why can't I say that?

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because you still care that she is making a good living.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"pull her weight"

U mention that but i feel like its not always about the financial stuff. Most guys are work driven, hardworking and want to be needed while most women are care givers and good at chores. So i think its fair for a guy to expect a women to pull her weight.

Idk why but people need to realise that even if the femenist are saying shit about equality we all know thats never gonna happen. Thats why gender roles is very important in the society.

But at the same you as a man need to be wise picking what kind of women u end up with, dont let society or your dick decide. Use your so called brain so you wont blame the society where in fact "we" are that society. Your old enough not to be fooled.

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

But I can say it.

I don't care how much money my wife makes so long as she can pay the bills. That's the same standard that I live up to. I don't care if it's 40k or 60k. Just pay the bills. I can also say that I don't want a career woman and I can expect her to pull her weight because you don't need to be a career woman to pull your weight. They're not mutually exclusive.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you do care.

[–]daveofmarsFor Martian Independence1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're trying to make something out of nothing. This really isn't a controversial topic in most relationships. Just pay the bills.

[–]Random_throwaway_000 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

A woman will pay 50% when eating out. If I want to eat at an expensive restaurant that she says she can't afford, I will either pay for her, or go to a cheaper place, that's my option.

[–]TheMarbleSlab[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense

[–]jonascf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a man expects a woman to “pull her weight” or pay for half the bills, then he can’t say “I don’t care how much money my wife makes”

I can kind of say that. I lead such a simple life that any woman with a job could pull her weight if she choses to share my life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not redpill but in today's world money sure as hell matters. If she doesn't earn as much as I do at least she ain't getting no dick.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is one of those threads where the intellectually dishonest OP makes a frankenstein stawman composed of different wants from different people and groups that have frequently opposite ideas. Then claims that their strawman is a hypocrite. Well no shit, that's how you designed him.

Just hours ago I posted that in the other thread now I have to copy paste it here. Is there something in the water around here? Do we need a PSA to remind the sub that different people want different things?

[–]poppy_blublack midget wine mom 🍷0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do we need a PSA to remind the sub that different people want different things?

We do. Not that you’re not guilty of doing the same thing at times.

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I may be guilty of many things but that's not one of them.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter