DISCLAIMER: I'm quite new to RPW and do not claim to speak for any other member of this community. I barely qualify as a member of the community ;p I merely want to offer up my thinking and my perspective so that other people who are trying to make up their mind about RPW can hear from someone who maybe isn't who they'd expect to find.

ABOUT ME (the political stuff): I'm as blue state as they come. I campaign passionately for progressive causes, especially those that pertain to equal access to opportunity for women. I truly do not mean to break community rules and say anything negative about TRP so suffice to say I agree with very, very little of that subreddit's content.

I have an intense career about which I am very passionate. I hope to change the world for the better in a big way. I never planned to live a life characterized by "traditional 50's gender roles". I live what I hope is an independent, adventurous, big, worldly life.

*SO WHY RPW? *

1) RPW is not as prescriptive as I thought.

I don't want to dive into the entomological debate around "what a community" is defined by. But there are plenty of women who contribute to RPW who are not SAHM, who don't live "super traditional" lives. To me, RPW is not an ideology that seeks to dictate its members' choices. Or at least, I've never felt any pushback because I live the way I do.

2) I want an all-female space where I can celebrate the feminine.

RPW is a place where I can celebrate my femininity and fully relax and be my girl-iest self. There aren't a lot of other communities for me where that's the case. Girlishness is usually seen as ditziness, shallowness. I love my feminist spaces too but it's hard to gush about your BF without being seen as boring, lame, unintellectual. I brood a lot on the phrase "a servant's heart." That's an ideal that transcends femininity and masculinity but has a particular relationship with the feminine, and it's one I consciously want to cultivate. I seek to be nurturing, un-egotistical, supportive, to want to serve my darling life partner. Not all men, not men in general, not "men" the political idea...my man.

3) I want a space where I can celebrate the domestic.

Similarly, I love being in a space where we can celebrate and honor the little things - a well-cooked meal shared with the people you love, decorating a house to make it a home, choosing some gentle words carefully to soothe a spouse. Workaholic or not these little domestic moments make up so much of our lives... and so much of the time we share with our families. I love that this community takes them seriously, honors this kind of work properly, acknowledges its importance.

When you think of cleaning as a chore you hope your boyfriend does for you...that's what it is. An opportunity to fight, to complain, to be exhausted. When you think of cleaning as a political moment....that's what it is. A chance to stand on a soapbox (don't get me wrong, I love soapboxes haha).

But being part of RPW makes me think of these little things --tidying up our closet, doing the dishes--as a chance to embody love, devotion, a chance to enact higher principles. That kind of thinking makes those moments beautiful. And that makes my whole life more beautiful.

4) I want a space where we can acknowledge painfully realistic things without being accused of being sexist or offensive.

I think people hear terms like "the wall" or "dread game" they assume they're moral statements or instructions. I see them as observations. To me, RPW isn't about instructing people to not date older women who are "past the wall", it isn't about instructing women or men to employ "dread game." FOR ME, TRP is about merely recognizing that it is harder to date past a certain age, that psychologically that adjustment can be dangerous (for instance). TRP is about recognizing that "dread game" works often, is employed, etc etc.

I believe that underneath the civility and euphemisms of polite society, people are actually driven by the considerations TRP describes. And it's fun for me to acknowledge these harsh considerations and dynamics without being met with a horrified gasp.