I was hard bluepilled growing up. I have written many posts on overcoming my blue pill past. As a short Asian growing up in The USA, adopted by a white family, my first 25 years of life was hard mode. It still is, but now I embrace the challenge. Kids made fun of me. My friends made fun of me. My other white family members didn’t identify with me, nor did I with them. Girls made fun of me. People didn’t respect me; even my own mother would sit down and pray with me (grew up Christian) that I would grow to be a tall and strong man (at 5’5” I don’t think god answered her prayers). Life is a bitch sometimes, but evolution doesn’t select for weak members of a species to survive.
One of the keys to my later life success was learning how to maintain composure. It is a key aspect of being a man. See, when I was younger, I had only two default ways of reacting, lashing out in blue pill anger or hiding-from friends, the world, everyone. I would sit in my apartment and play games, resigned to my friendless and virgin existence.
Shit tests are often referenced at TRP with respect to how women test men. The reality is everyone shit tests each other. It is part of the human existence, and it is why we have such amazing social skills and potential, and why humans have reached such amazing success on this planet. The true reality is you will be tested by your mom, your sister, your bros, your girlfriend, your boss, and your co workers as well as the women we wish to attract/LTR.
I like this word and definition better than “frame”. I also think it is easier for men just swallowing the red pill, or those with low self esteem, to comprehend.
the state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself.
It sounds simple, right? Except, it isn’t. But It doesn’t sound that important, right? Except it is, every human interaction you have for the rest of your life will be tied to this very trait, or ability. Your ability to maintain your composure.
In the decadent and feminized west, society teaches boys to emote like females. It teaches boys that masculinity is bad, that boys should be sensitive and passive. We are also taught that our chivalry to women will be rewarded. At some age, bluepill rage sets in. Anger and rage is the ultimate end of bluepill conditioning, and I truly believe the end game of bluepill rage is eventually suicide or, even worse, murder sprees then suicide.
Developing Power: Embrace the hard shit in life
Behind every man is a story of struggle and hardship. Life was not easy in our history, life should not be expected to be easy in the future. In the old days we had rites of passage for young boys. Now, we have single moms teaching their sons to cross dress and gender fluidity...
Humor aside...life is and will continue to be hard. It won’t be easy, but even if you didn’t know it, it is step one towards developing your composure and becoming a leader (as well as sexual success and mastery with women).
You think this is too hard? Think you are stuck too deep in a hole? Angry and pissed at the world and women? That is outcome dependence: start by focusing on you and only you. Do hard shit. Be less comfortable. Enjoy the suck and the pain. Make actionable plans and just do them. It is why TRP preaches lifting. Building confidence in oneself and your ability to exact positive change is a first must step to success.
Composure and real life
Composure/frame, the ability to feel personal control and to have emotional stability, is key to all of life’s successes and challenges. The opposite is what defines the bluepill man. It is why bluepill men become simps in female controlled marriages, it is why men lash out in terrible ways, it is why men become betas, male feminists, and white knights. It is a lack of control, or perceived control in their life. It is a place of weakness, and it breeds validation and attention seeking, the opposite of a man who directs his own reality. It isn’t only women who despise weak men, other men will offer you no respect, your boss will not respect you, and your family will pity you.
Tips to develop composure
Note, these are from my n=1 experience, but I believe a majority of men can all put these tips into action, and will develop and achieve success.
- Probably the thing that helped me more than anything was pushing my own boundaries of comfort. I used to be lazy, and I had no confidence, thus I never took chances. Once you achieve that first success, that first goal, when you once though it was impossible, you will see how much your mindset in life can change. Composure control is one of the byproducts of this change.
- Watch other people. Humans are incredibly insightful creatures, and we have innate ability to learn from others. Sounds unbelievably dumb, but once you start to learn composure, one of the best tools is to watch and admire people who have it in spades, as well as learn from the less fortunate. Think of a sports leader like Michael Jordan. Or a war general like Patton. Find someone and read up about them.
- Outcome independence. This one is key and goes by other names such as IDGAF, mindfulness, living in the present, etc. IMHO they are different ways of saying the same thing. Pick your favorite, but they all aspire us to reach a point where we live predominantly in the present moment. The past is seen as learning opportunities and the reliving of pleasant memories, but that is it. The future is your goals, but the present is where the living is. Being able to be outcome independent is a “half glass full” mentality. Impossible situations and hardships become challenges to overcome. Fear, uncertainty, helplessness, and emotional uncontrollability (that is what women and children do, not men) become fearlessness, strength, courage, and belief in oneself. The internet is your friend, I recommend doing searches on all these topics such as mindfulness, IDGAF, and outcome independence. Be the captain in the storm who in unswayable, that is how I envision a man of composure.
- Be social. One of the ways your composure is tested more than any other is in social situations. If you are socially retarded like I was once, push your comfort level. Find social groups online, like meetup for instance, and start doing shit with real life people. Besides the obvious benefit of learning social skills, people are going to test you all the time, and learning how not to lose your cool or to treat every situation with a present mind will help you develop composure. Being a loner is not how humans evolved.
- Patience. This is something we all can practice very easily. In all life situations, the unconscious and emotional response is set to default. It helped us survive, think the fight or flight response, for instance. Being able and learning to control base instincts such as fear and anger is key to developing composure. Start simple. Start by learning to control your impulses. Do you buy expensive shit on the spot? Try and wait a day or two before you do. Do you always feel the need to spout out your opinion any time your emotions are triggered? Learn to control your words and reactions by rationally thinking about those emotions. You will find the emotions quickly go away and you are left with rational thoughts. Simple example: instead of being terrified of approaching a girl, remind yourself she is just that, a girl, a human, with all her own faults and fears. Your fear will lift and you will find that fear was unlikely warranted.
- Lift and posture. TRP has said enough of this, but yeah, lift. Learn to lift right, build confidence, develop better posture, put on some nice clothes. These subtle nuances will help develop composure through confidence, as well as help you become more charismatic and able to attract people.
- Walk and move slow and deliberately. Sounds simple, and may even sound stupid. But in your daily life, make it important that you not find yourself in a hurry all the time (time management is a key to success in many aspects of life). Walk composed and be deliberate. Don’t fidget and walk standing tall and composed. Watch betas and men with low confidence. They lack composure, they walk with their head down, backs hunched, they walk fast and in a hurry all the time.
- Eat healthy. Eat shit and you will put out shit. Slobs do that, not people who can’t control their addictions. Your body will look better, you will feel better and think better, and duh, people will respect you more. You can’t keep composure if you can’t even control your addictions and are overweight by 100 pounds.
Maintaining composure/frame is one of the main attributes that sets you apart from the betas, the women, and children. If you are a man and you want women, start here. My life changed forever, to virginless and a loser to becoming a man of character and strength, someone who people respect. Sexual success will soon follow.