TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

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[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman56 points57 points  (45 children) | Copy Link

Male or female, nobody should want to be “settled for.” I feel bad for those that would accept that due to lack of self worth. If both you and your partner don’t think you’re the best fit for each other, why commit (long term) at all?

[–]onii-chan_so_roughDrugs are bad, kids; don't take pills.15 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Everything "settles"; I don't get this shit.

There's always some unattainable film star that you'd want more or whatever. You're almost never the first choice simply because there's 7 000 000 000 humans on this planet so unless you're truly the crème de la crème there's going to be a better one. Asking to be first of 7 000 000 000 is quite a standard to put onto oneself.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There’s a lot of nuance that goes into assessing “best fit.” It’s implied the pool is comprised of those that you’ve actually been around in a substantial and meaningful way. Therefore, nobody is “settling” if they are choosing the best from that group.

The hyperbolic approach that “best fit” means “better fit” of all the people in the world is just silly. There’s absolutely no way someone could reasonably achieve that. Personally I give people more credit than to start with that narrow of a definition 😂

Again, I think this is just a semantics issue.

Edit: “perfect fit” to “better fit”

[–]onii-chan_so_roughDrugs are bad, kids; don't take pills.3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never said "perfect"; I said "better". There's always going to be some film star better that might not be perfect, and even if we limit the pool to those they interacted with they are still going to be most likely.

What magical coincidence would it be that all just happened to end up with their first choice; that's just statistically unlikely; in reality for most it's going to be not even close to their first choice on their hierarchy. Almost every individual settles.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re right, you’d didn’t say “perfect.” I’ve edited my comment to address that.

Can you please explain one thing? How can a movie star that they’ve never even met in person be better? They’d be comparing a known entity to their idea of someone they’ve never met and most likely never will. I’m trying to track this train of thought. Thanks!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's hilarious that the "film star" is the one who would be "better." Out of the question that someone might be 5% more compatible with the off-the-books daycare worker who lives 750 miles away and whose path they'd never cross anyway.

[–]dilf3142 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think so.

now I’m not someone who believes there’s only one person for everybody. I think that if something terrible happened and my boyfriend and I broke up, neither of us would be miserable forever; we’d someone else.

that being said, I honestly couldn’t imagine being with anyone else other than my boyfriend. of course there are things I don’t like about him and vice versa, but when I see an attractive guy or girl and recognize traits in them that I look for in a partner, I don’t get sad and think I’m settling or believe that person is better. no matter what, no other relationship I’ll have will be the same as the relationship I have with my boyfriend. and while our relationship isn’t perfect, no one’s is, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

[–]Daffan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a real dumb post btw. Why so much hyperbole trash?

[–]Kos_-_Omak1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When people talk about "settling" in this context, that's not what they mean. It doesn't mean settling for someone who isn't your #1 first choice out of anyone on the planet. Literally everyone knows that is the case, but for some reason autistics think this is what people mean when they say "settling"

"Settling" means compromising your basic standards and expectations and being with someone who isn't a great match at all just because you don't want to be alone. It's not just that the other person isn't your all time #1 first choice, when you settle you end up with someone who is actually kind of shitty.

[–]onii-chan_so_roughDrugs are bad, kids; don't take pills.0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The user I replied to verbatim said:

If both you and your partner don’t think you’re the best fit for each other, why commit (long term) at all

So no, that was exactly what was meant; there is no real ambiguity here.

[–]Kos_-_Omak0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Best fit for each other" is about compatibility. It doesn't mean the same thing as "each other's #1 first choice most desirable partner out of all the people on Earth"

Literally everyone understands that it's extremely unrealistic to want to be with the #1 most desirable supermodel or whatever. There's no reason to even discuss that. But for some reason autistics don't understand nuance and whenever anyone says the word "settling" they jump in with "REEEEEEEEE! EVERYONE SETTLES! REEEEEEE!"

[–]SFWonlyInvest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What it really is, is no guy wants to pay for what many others had for free.

It feels like losing

[–]Nodoxxintoxin6 points7 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Wtf does “best fit” mean...have you tried a relationship with all the billions of people out there and are convinced this one, who just so happens to work in the same office, or live in the same building is the one? Wow, what an incredible coincidence!

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman9 points10 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Is this a serious question?

[–]Nodoxxintoxin15 points16 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. There are no “soul mates” or “perfect fits” or best of anything. Everything is relative and everything changes. There is fantastic, there is good enough and there is better than the alternative. You choose to accept the imperfections or choose to be always dissatisfied.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You are correct in that everything is relative and everything changes. That’s why I didn’t use either of those terms. “Perfect” implies no imperfections, while “best” implies a reasoned and realistic account within the dating pool they’ve been presented.

It seems like this is mostly as issue of semantics.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

"best fit" is sort of a scapegoat though. Most women want nicer guys as they get older because they treat them better and these women realize they deserve that type of treatment. It has nothing to do with "fit", the women are just more grown up.

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

the women are just more grown up

grown up? interesting choice of words. I was thinking just 'entitled'

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I actually am not on either side, just illustrating what happens. I honestly don't there is a bad guy in all this.

Everyone grows up sooner or later and realizes they should be in relationships with people who are more genuinely kinder to them. Women realize this at late 20s and find said men who end up waiting for said women to knock on their door.

The smart women who are on the uglier side realize they should probably skip out on the hookup culture and date/marry young so they can settle with an older uglier dude who has his shit together and is kind. Ugly women who don't realize this sleep around and their dating pool shrinks because no one wants to marry them-- they are fucked. Normie girls can fuck around and still get dating prospects well into their 40s though so they don't give a fuck and entitled as fuck.

So then the key for every group is to use game to maximize their plays-- ugly girls should marry young, normies can do whatever the fuck they want, uglier guys should focus on careers and be kind and marry a uglier young women. If they don't do these things we have the society we are living in now.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

1) They don't want nice guys; they want to marry and the men they actually want won't marry them, so they "settle" for the nice guys, 2) After rejecting scores of nice men in their youth to date men who were hot but treated them like shit, and repeatedly refusing to learn from that mistake, they don't deserve good treatment, and 3) The women did not grown up, they just ran out of options - it was either marry a man they didn't really want, or be single and without what a man can provide (having been taken off the hot guys' favored list, as too old).

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you are thinking too black and white. Think of it as a spectrum. On one end there is hot assholes and the other end are really nice guys who are boring. Women start at the hot assholes because they don't mind taking the risk. As they get older they go more towards the nice guy because they realize they would rather be respected as people. However they never actually reach the complete nice guy-- they end up marrying guys in the middle of the spectrum and if they can't they will forever complain there is no more good guys left. Some of the guys in the middle like myself will complain that they are being settled for which is technically true.

Actual nice guys who are kinda ugly aren't even in the picture for these women and were never part of the game to begin with. The women they marry are just shitty women because those are all that are left or stay single. Or the date down and go for the uglier nice girls.

An example is for me I was hooking up with this one girl who literally had 4 guys who wanted to be in a relationship texting her while she was with me but she told me there aren't any good guys left that she found attractive(she told me this at least 15 times). Those 4 guys were never in the game-- she would rather be single than be with a nice guy she doesn't find attractive. I even asked her, "It looks like you are really beating yourself up so much, why not go for those 4 guys who keep hitting you up?". Her reply is they aren't attractive to her. She developed feelings for me and thought I was the one but of course I told her if feelings come up we have to call this off and so I did.

[–]reluctantly_red2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

There are no “soul mates” or “perfect fits” or best of anything. Everything is relative and everything changes. There is fantastic, there is good enough and there is better than the alternative.

If a person has been with at least 20 or 30 romantic partners they'll have a pretty good idea what's out there for them (emphasis on for them). If a new prospect is at least as good as all those who came before that's as close to a best fit as a person is ever going to get.

[–]Nodoxxintoxin2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“at least as good” is a reasonable minimum to shoot for.

[–]PMmeareasontolive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is when people get more cynical yet have higher expectations with experience: they want the new partner to possess the positive traits of all the past partners.

Younger people take it as it comes a little more than older people who are trying to make someone fit some kind of pattern that they've established.

[–]BothWaysItGoesLibertarian1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Most men don’t even get to have 5 romantic partners

[–]Truedemocracy54 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most men don’t know what they want in a woman

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Finding that hard to believe since I'm nothing that special and have had more than 12 times that number.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're 6'4, and a Lawyer

Need to give yourself more credit, you're already dominating most men in height and income alone

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a public defender. By California standards my income is strictly average. And I didn't become a lawyer till I was 34. Before that I was a jr high science teacher. I actually ran up the majority of my numbers before I went to law school.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You still tower over 95% of people at least, that alone gives you a huge head start. Girls like big guys.

Obviously, you still had to put in work, but you are already in the lead since looks are more important than we want to believe

[–]Daffan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but your also a liar

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

How so?

[–]Daffan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok you've convinced me and I've changed my mind, you've had 60 trips to the brothel.

[–]SomeTurdInTheWind3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People who live in different cultures, with different life styles and different mentalities don't have many chances of being soul mates with you or anything

As a general rule you will get along better with people who come from the same environment as you. I don't need to date all 7800 million people out there because I wouldn't be compatible with them anyways.

[–]Mescalean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Regardless of sex it sucks to someones “second best”.

Healthy emotion IMO.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Any man committing to a 30 year old woman he didn't have access to her prime is settling. That's the point of the OP.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yikes. That’s a take.

So they expect the woman to be settling too, I assume? Like a mutual settling or arrangement? I mean, I guess that could work if both people were aware of the facts and on board.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Their argument is both sides are settling at different amounts. It wouldn't be fair to the guys because the women got half of their needs met before 30 via casual sex and chasing men who won't commit and are trying to cash in the other half of commitment at 30(marriage). Most men don't have access to said women or any women at all before 30 so they are overall "settling more by getting it all at 30" and thus would rather check out of the whole thing instead.

edit: I think the only fair way to fix all this is let VR and sexdolls become so advanced that these men can get their needs met with them and then marry said 30 yr old women.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't understand men who don't commit to young women when they still have access to them and decide to delay settling down till they're 30+ and kvetch that their dating pool consists of 30 year old women.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great question and I have no idea. I think they just don't get that much attention from women when they are younger so little to no experience. Other problems are simply only focusing on their careers, bullied in high school and never recover until late 20s, cultural reasons, or they just may have been losers all their life etc. By their late 20s they dated a bit and see women as people and have a somewhat solid career so they start getting more interest. It makes sense, if they aren't as attractive they need to build their confidence and have a career and be nice people--- then women start finding them dateable.

Honestly I think the problem is they never had good male role models growing up. Guys are pressured to not to deal with their shit and instead just work or drink or escape to videogames/porn. It is just locker room culture. Luckily times are changing so I have hope for the next generation. Gen Z may fix all the problems the millennials had.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because everyone has to settle. Everyone looks at their partner and wishes they had something better about them whether it’s looks, salary, personality, values, etc. Very few people can be with their perfect vision of a partner, we just look at that person’s pros and cons and see what outweighs what.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think we are all saying mostly the same thing.

What you described: Some are super pragmatic, and because no person can exist that’s 100% the ideal mate, they will be settling in that sense. You choose the closest thing you can and run with it (if you even want to pair up).

What I described: Others see it as only choosing the best fit from the group that they’ve had real relationships with, not some hypothetical person they’ve never met. So in essence, they are getting most best outcome of their options and don’t consider it settling.

Very similar and open to interpretation. Hopefully I’m explaining it clearly from the consensus I’ve seen on this thread. Either way, an interesting topic. But I doubt any minds were changed today 😂

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because it’s either that or nothing

[–]churnthrowaway123456-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're past the age of 22ish, everyone is settling. The people who actually are the relationship-type are off the market after college. Beyond that, you're just randomly bumping into people and taking your turn.

[–]TheBookOfSeilAn ounce of Snu Snu is worth a pound of cure28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There's two ways to look at this:

  1. A man/woman couldn't find better and they're stuck with someone.
  2. A man/woman couldn't find better because there is no one better.

You can be the person who your partner settled for, or you can be the person that your partner tossed everyone else aside to be with. What determines that is what your partner sees when they look at you.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew61 points62 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or reality-'men and women meet accidentally and as soon as they like someone enough they stick with them without thinking of "better" or not

[–]Almondxxx14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, it’s really that. Lol

[–]Nodoxxintoxin3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“A man/woman couldn't find better because there is no one better.”

By that metric everyone who has ever lived has settled. And they have literally settled on every single thing in their life. There is literally no “better” husband, or house, or job....? Only someone with zero imagine could never conceive of “better”.

My life, my husband, my friends, my house, my hobbies are all pretty fucking great. Do I always strive for better ? Sure, but I don’t obsess about it, I’m immensely grateful for what I have. Comparison is the thief of joy.

[–]Truedemocracy56 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol in my blue pill beta days I was thrilled with the thought

“These girls are with the dick jocks now but when I get a good job and we are all older I am the one who will win in the end”

Trust me this is a real thought that goes through guys heads. She dated other guys but married you, you won. Hilarious in hindsight, but guys like to consider themselves the morally superior better option

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And you are, and 50-100 years ago, women had the brains to think of someone like you as a catch. Now all young women think about is 1) Is he super-handsome, and 2) Does he look like he would be good in bed (and that is judged by #1). Of course back then there were consequences for bad behavior - as there will be again, when the current society collapses and the support systems that allow this kind of crap to happen go away.

[–]LittleBigCheeks-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So you don't want to date any woman who has had any semblance of a relationship before you or she's settling? How realistic is that? What if she just hasn't met you yet? Yes, it's a possibility she is settling, so don't date that specific woman. But there are soo many reasons why a woman may have dated someone and the relationship didn't work out. What if she had one or two boyfriends before you and broke up with them because they ended up being not the right fit? And now she has more knowledge and experience, knows what she is looking for in a relationship, and then meets you?

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because men primarily value sex, which these men in her youth paid nothing for economically speaking, got the best product and the best quality sex.

Vs all that goes into marriage, family and kids getting a woman after her prime physically who likely isn't monkey fucking the dude like a guy she got railed by at a party in a bedroom on the DL.

Paying more for less.

What if she had one or two boyfriends before you and broke up with them because they ended up being not the right fit?

Two marriage minded men? Maybe. Two dudes that beat her up\did "poly meets" with... no. Not enough context.

But really you gotta measure the input into a marriage with a woman with how much prime access you get IMO. I got 19-whatever, so I was willing to excuse A LOT.

[–]Truedemocracy50 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No one said that, you’re making up your own argument

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat86 points87 points  (64 children) | Copy Link

Now here's something I don't fully understand: men on this sub often claim that attractive women have this tremendous sexual power, that even a somewhat cute girl can be using this Vag Voodoo to be scoring diamonds and cars and trips to Bermuda. And then turn right around and assume that if their girlfriend hooked up with other guys before she met you, she's "settling".

What kind of self-devaluing nonsense is this? If YOU find her attractive, and I hope you find your own girlfriend attractive, odds are damn good other guys do too. If she's with you, she CHOSE you. She HAS other options. You KNOW that. She didn't WANT those other options because she wants YOU. You should feel great about that! She could, as per your own ideology, be out there fucking professional athletes and convincing rich guys to buy her iPhones, but she's not--she's with you.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope you find your own girlfriend attractive

they don't have one. they're just theorizing

[–]CoffeehasSentienceI still haven't found the pill I'm looking for🎶21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Most of the time these kind of comments are about average girls.

I think these guys just think "yeah she was pumped and dumped by the guys she was really attracted for, she's with me because of the security, she wouldn't if they tried to commit".

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I mean, that sounds like self-devaluing and low self-esteem on their parts. Do you really think so little of yourself that you can't imagine your girlfriend just...wants you?

[–]WingedSword_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, that sounds like self-devaluing and low self-esteem on their parts. Do you really think so little of yourself that you can't imagine your girlfriend just...wants you?

Yes, people who say this constantly compare themselves to other guys. They feel that they have weaker genes and few redeeming attributes. Insted they have a girlfriend not for who they are, because to them she doesn't care, it's because they have money.

[–]adool6660 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's more "The other guy dumped her, is it because she is low value? Does it make me low value if I commit and all the other guys didn't?"

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or....she dumped him? Or.....they broke up for circumstantial/compatibility reasons? Or....it doesn't actually matter where your SO ranks in a March Madness pool if you like each other?

Do people really think like this, that there's something wrong with anyone who had a relationship end?

None of this is changing my mind from 'there's a self-esteem thing going on here."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

  • which is 100% the case, as has been proved over and over again.

[–]OatsGYOWMGTOW[🍰] 32 points33 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Had other options. Had.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why are you going after a woman that's so off-putting she can't even get a guy to give her a pity fuck?

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She can get plenty of fucks but the best of them won’t commit

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If she can get laid, she has options.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any woman can get laid . Options for LTR she actually wants are tougher

[–]lemonfluff19 points20 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Why had? Because she's settled down must mean she's got no other options and that's the ONLY reason she'd settle down? Or do you think she'd lost all her attractiveness due to age, in which case why are you with her if you're not attracted to her?

Do you really think so little of yourself that you don't think an attractive woman would choose you rather than turning to you in desperation? Not to mention the fact that if women don't have other options they often choose to be single.

If that's true then the problem is not her but you and you really need to work on those insecurities.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Um, maybe because those attractive women rejected the men when they were younger, and we know damn good and well their taste in men didn't change, so the women now want something we have such as money or stability, which they were unable to get from the men they actually wanted, eh? We're not insecure, it's that we're not stupid and won't be suckered and taken advantage of. If you see a little kid eating candy and avoiding veggies (which he says he doesn't like), then hours later you see him eating the veggies that he avoided earlier, it's not hard to guess the reason: He ran out of candy, got hungry again, and the veggies were all that was available. He ran out of options.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bitter much? Women aren't allowed to have a choice?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you really think so little of yourself that you don't think an attractive woman would choose you rather than turning to you in desperation?

Men have lower market value because women see far less men as attractive than the reverse.

Not to mention the fact that if women don't have other options they often choose to be single.

Choose is the operative word. It's a voluntary action.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not really. I mean, yeah, technically, but those single women are missing their good times with the hot guys they used to smash. Just because the women chooses not to "settle" for a nice guy, doesn't mean she's happy.

[–]OatsGYOWMGTOW[🍰] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

An insecure man would go after that woman, yes. That is why so many men date younger instead.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

No they go younger because younger women are easier to manipulate , they dont have as much experience to compare to and realise when there are red flags and because women their own age dont take any of their shit.

[–]OatsGYOWMGTOW[🍰] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like something a woman rants to her cats about.

[–]lemonfluff0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Actually its a pretty common knowledge regarding groomers, prediters and abusers. Like its a classic tale and those are the classic reasons abusers give for going for younger 21< women.

I'm amazed you don't know that.

[–]OatsGYOWMGTOW[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Common knowledge among whom?

This theory has been debunked many times over by the lack of sexual abuse directed at elderly women. Younger women are targeted by abusers because younger women are attractive.

[–]fevertree10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even unattractive women can score big in the dating market because of our gynocentric society. If you are dating a woman with no other options she must be truly disgusting.

[–]statusincorporated19 points20 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Lol this is dumb.

Those guys likely were above her pay grade so they tossed her aside...don't treat them like LTR options for her..

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

How do you know this? Have you met these guys?

And isn't "riding the cock carousel" something women allegedly enjoy?

[–]statusincorporated11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Women raise their standards for casual sex and lower them for relationships. Men are the opposite. That's empirical, from studies. So it's a good guess.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Bullshit. What studies?

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They were posted here in like 2014 lol

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i was barely out of toddlerhood in 2014 , repost them

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can’t find them, they were posted on some cheeky womanist site like thefrisky or whatever. One of the many women’s site posts the manosphere had a field day with . See also: Atlantic articles from 2008

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women raise some standards - in particular, physical attractiveness - for casual sex. The man can be complete scum as long as he's good-looking and good in the sack, and they'll put up with a surprising amount of abuse from such men as long as the hot sex keeps coming - all the while labeling men like me as "misogynists".

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is what being "pumped and dumped" is.

And isn't "riding the cock carousel" something women allegedly enjoy?

And?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, they like riding it. They don't like being kicked off and forced to climb back on, and they really don't like being permanently banned from the ride when they get too old.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater9 points10 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

My sister is in college and she had a rich dude with a yacht invite her aboard, but want to commit to her. She has a lot of problems and isn't your traditional feminine girl but he still wanted to pick her over various thots and foreign escorts he was also fucking. She picked a dude her own age and actually likes him but lets get real when you've seen the yacht guy and know that's your competition that can give you a complex even if you win and that's caused drama for them.

Let me be clear, there was a yacht guy with diamonds and he won and it still fucked him mentally because he saw her as something special and he was an option from a list and even if she does like him when he confronted her about it during a fight she went "yeah, kinda" when was amazed I took his side and said that was kinda fucked up.

This isn't me talking some kind of complex and that isn't some crazy hyperbole. It happens every day and I've seen it and it's the fact that there's even a contest a lot of guys don't like.

[–]Luke-the-camera-guy25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sorry but I'm lost, he's insecure because he found out he was chosen over the guy who could give her a more luxurious and possibly "happier" lifestyle because she liked him more, what caused the complex was finding out "she had options" which is essentially he others guys besides himself had a shot at going after her, and she still chose him in the end and he's upset because??

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm as stumped as you are. If I were a man who won over a richer guy I would feel like Giga Chad.

[–]platthrowaway0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

it takes legit peace with who you are to think that. I agree with you but unfortunately insecurity is pervasive in humans

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it happens every day because that is inherent in male female dynamics. men are basically getting frustarted and insecure about basic sexual dimorphism lmao

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is not sexual dimorphism. Market asymmetry, yes.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

its a natural asymmetry thats an extension of our dimorphic sexual interests

[–]abicus43437 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is English your second language? None of this made any sense.

[–]DaphneDK42TEMC (Trans Exclusionary Male Chauvinist)1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

meh. How many diamond yacht guys are there in the world? They can have their pick, and take out their 0.1%, of chicks, and I'll be content to wallow in the remaining 99.9%.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying that's every girl. I'm just saying it's an extreme end of the scale that shows off a lot of guys and their thought process. If it's not you and Diamond Yacht it's probably you vs small time bar rocker. Or you vs the guy with a BMW and a nicer wardrobe. So on and so forth.

At the end of the day it often comes down to you, vs some guy who has more material wealth but less personality. Even if the girl goes for personality finding out material wealth was even up for serious consideration will make you question the whole thing.

[–]lemonfluff14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I feel like guys on this sub would use so many hypothetical examples of girls going for yacht guy because "they're all good diggers", yet in your example your sister turned him down. She chose the man she's with and yet he's so insecure he can't deal with the fact that other men besides him have wanted her and the fact she turned them down and chose him means nothing to him?

So basically she can't win - no matter what she does she'll get blamed.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

In that case the issue is yacht guy was ugly with a bad personality and his money was dirty, and he was like 20 years older. He literally only had the money. But the option was still entertained for a bit and when she tried to shut him down he turned crazy stalker like women say every guy can.

If she made the call quick sure that'd be one thing. But she hung around and tried to see if she could make herself like him and bounced when she couldn't, then once she got her actual boyfriend he had to deal with a stalker who would never have been in the running if it wasn't for maxing out a feature he never had.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But she hung around and tried to see if she could make herself like him and bounced when she couldn't

How do you know that? Maybe she wanted to see how much she can get from him without touching him.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because this isn't some rando we're talking about. This is a family member with whom I communicate regularly and have known literally her entire life and for my entire living memory. She gave him like one or two chances and was like "wow golly this is neat", then realized she didn't like him and tried to ghost but he couldn't take a hint.

[–]lemonfluff1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So it's her fault that guy couldn't take the rejection? And you know her intentions and reasons for rejecting him how exactly? Not that they even sound particularly bad.

You guys are always saying "give us the benefit of the doubt, get to know us, it's not just about looks, thats shallow" and when she does that, decides its still not enough for her, she now deserves the crazy stalker? That her "poor boyfriend" has to deal with? ! Are you serious? Literally anything to not defend her.

Damn I feel so sorry for your sister having a brother like you. Brothers are meant to defend and protect you from arseholes like him, not side with them and come up with excuses of "its your fault, you led thrm on". You sound like an abusers wet dream of a family member. I bet if her new boyfriend hit her for "bringing this mess on the family" , youd defend him.

[–]BlueMattressTopper10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So basically what you’re saying is that men are going to be insecure either way? If she goes with the rich guy she’s a golddigging whore, is she goes for the other guy he’s now eternally going to feel ‘settled for’ and bad about himself.

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t, that kinda sounds like a him problem.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

material wealth was even up for serious consideration

It doesn't mean Material Wealth guy had no redeeming qualities beyond his money, though. (Most people have a variety of pros and cons.)

[–]DaphneDK42TEMC (Trans Exclusionary Male Chauvinist)5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why spend time wondering about their motives? She is indeed with me now. If she wants to leave, that's ok too. There's always another girlie.

[–]zerofeetpersecond-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No it’s the denial of the contest existing that is annoying to most.

[–]whirling_cynic3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's not devaluating at all. It's just your turn means make her stay and value you over the other chumps. If there are other options make your value to her obvious. It's more of a step up to the plate and make a home run analogy than strike out... or foul out and take a base.

If you have a turn at the plate make it count.

Tldr:hit a home run.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

OP wasn't about "it's your turn" though.

[–]whirling_cynic-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wasn't responding to OP. I was responding to your post. I got the "it's your turn" vibe from your post and felt like clarifying from my perspective. I'm drunk.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha fair enough.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Please. If women don't want a man when he's in his 20's, and suddenly want him in his 30's, and he hasn't dramatically changed in character (not money or something material that women would want), that tells me the women's circumstances - not their taste in men - is what changed. The man's not self-devaluing himself, he's pointing out that the women didn't value him before, and is justly suspicious of their motivations in only now showing an interest in him. Of course, this couldn't have anything to do with them running out of time to snag a mate, oh no. It's precisely because we do know our value that we are refusing to be these women's last choice.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are these literally the same women? If so, why have you not met more people over the course of a decade? If not, how do you know that this woman would not have been attracted to your younger self?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't have to be literally the same women, just women with a similar history of preferring one type of men and rejecting another. If I resent the first batch of women for rejecting guys like me, why would I give a different batch that behaved the same way a pass? As to your second question, that's easy - the woman's dating history. If she as a young woman would have been interested in a guy like me, then when a guy similar to me approached her at that time, she would've responded positively and digging into her history should show she dated guys like that. If she didn't, I'm justified in inferring that I, too, would've been rejected, since I have the same "not good enough" characteristics.

[–]King_of_incels-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

she wants YOU. You should feel great about that!

what if i don't? what if i want better then her? what if i want more?

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Then you shouldn't be dating her at all.

[–]King_of_incels0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

i'm not dating her

my cock is.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You might want to get that "sentient, autonomous genitalia" thing checked out then--sounds spooky.

[–]King_of_incels0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i know right?

every time i wake up he goes, "it's gonna be a good day"

weird.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What if she's not "settling?" This seems like one of those self-esteem related statements men make when they can't fathom what a woman sees in him versus her ex or past guys or whatever.

I knew a woman when I was about 20 who went out of her way to ask me a ton of sex related questions about my past. One time she asked about my ex-girlfriend and so I flipped the script and asked "how was sex with your ex boyfriend?" She proceeded to explain how their sex life was fantastic. I imagine the feeling I felt was something like what OP is describing.

But here's the thing: all that self-doubt is beta male bullshit. Your game is on point? You dress well? You're chasing your purpose, working out, eating right? There's nothing to worry about. That is... unless you know you're slipping up somewhere. Then it's time to get your shit together.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

aka be a sucker.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You sound distressed

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You don't have to do anything for anyone and nothing matters. No one is entitled to anything. Just treat people with respect and live your life. You will find a great girl down the line. You making lists of all these things you "have to do" misses the entire point of life aka you being a sucker.

[–]meomeowmeoww 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

You're not anything special so why expect other people to think you are?

[–]jayval90PUAs are Blue Pilled12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If I'm committing myself to someone for the rest of my life, she'd better consider me above all the rest of guys that are out there. That's just basic.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

life isn't a fairytale. this is how 4 year old girls think of marriage.

[–]CoffeehasSentienceI still haven't found the pill I'm looking for🎶2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Adult women too, that's why they need a lot of validation. Men have been starting this behavior recently, but they aren't addicted to validation because they haven't tasted it so much.

[–]statusincorporated3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

So much this.

I don't really worry about the past because I busted my ass to have a top tier physique, income, and career. When you look like an athlete yourself, athletes bother you less...and so on...

Jack of all trades master of none though oft times better than master of one.

[–]Truedemocracy52 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It absolutely is. Better to be top 20% in many areas than top in just one

[–]MILFBucket0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, but now you're stuck with a busted ass! What good is having wealth and accomplishments to sit on if you can't sit because your ass is busted?! At least you don't have to look at it in the mirror every day, I guess...

[–]statusincorporated1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I busted my ass it's true. It has a problem shared by only a few....a crack down the middle boo boo.

irule

[–]87AudreyHorne28 points29 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Unless she knew you and didnt want to be with you until the last better option left her, it's a factual statement. She eventually met you and wants to be with you. The end.

Why is that settling any more than any time she met someone in her past?

And if you think so low of her current options then dont date her because you're not attracted to her. It's very insulting to her if a guy she is with thinks a different man would be too good for her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's not full statement. It's empty

[–]Sharkathotep2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What's empty about it? It's just the truth.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's empty

[–]Sharkathotep4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have no argument.

[–]HennythepainawayI don't even like Henny11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just vet better. The problem is too many guys are afraid of being alone that they latch on to suboptimal matches because they think that's the best they'll ever get.

There's no way to screen 100%, but you can't deny that people ignore red flags pretty often. If you have a subpar sex life, move on to the next girl. She treats you like a doormat, move on to the next girl and maybe next time grow a backbone. You're ugly and really rich and a model tier girl is cozying up to you. That ain't the one chief. A little introspection and less willfull ignorance and you're less likely to find someone who settles.

Back to the main topic, 'she's with you know'. I agree it's a pretty stupid phrase but if you let every small thing get to you, you'll never be secure with yourself. If she checks most of your boxes, what's the problem? Attractive, good sex life, personality etc. You'll be able to tell if they're half-assing it, and that's when you gtfo.

Also don't go for too high of an n-count. I don't personally need single digits, but if your number is 25+, I'll just avoid.

[–]statusincorporated14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Bro, you need to stop thinking of it like that.

Here's how you know if she's settling....

...if you were depressed to the point of near incapacitation, would this chick be your nurse....even to the extent of bathinf and grooming you?

If you lost your job....would this chick step up and support both of you while you got your shit straight?

Does this chick always want to fuck you?

Does this chick put up with your shit....your insecurities, your meanness, your ugliness?

You got a chick who's down for you like that...she ain't settling for your stupid ass.

Pick your partners better.

[–]Truedemocracy54 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So no one

[–]statusincorporated-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Speak for yourself, weak brah

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you just pretending to be retarded, or...?

[–]reluctantly_red13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I married one. I bailed her out. She burnt through my life's savings and then branch swing to a much richer guy.

[–]platthrowaway0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

did she burn through it or did you give it to her? either way as long as they appear to be grateful that's what would make me feel at peace with my past decisions

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was stupid enough to freely give it to her.

[–]Almondxxx-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sucks, sorry! I hope you can be happy in another way or someone else... ha

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

"She's with you now" is a BS phrase clearly invented by a man.

Women don't compare men in the way that men compare women. Read this post for more

It is MEN who compare all the different women he's been with. It is MEN who give women 1/10 ratings. WOMEN don't systematize, we like the idea of each man/relationship/love being special and unique.

[–]learn2earn897 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Completely agree. Reading through this entire thread I kept thinking, these dudes think women do what men do. Women are picky, which means if they pick you, she thinks you’re fucking special. Guys on here apparently don’t think this way about the women they date.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

LOL "Women are picky". Well, yeah, no doubt about that, but in a bad way. They are like a guy who goes thru a garden and only puts in his basket the fruits and vegetables that have something wrong with them (mold, infestation, etc.) while rejecting the spotless ones, then after he eats the ones he selected (all the while complaining "What! This one's got mold! This one's got a worm in it!" etc. as if those flaws weren't obvious at the time he picked them), he gets hungry, looks for more like the ones he ate (and complained about), and only after he realizes all those ones are gone, condescends to eating one of the veggies that he rejected earlier - you know, the actually good ones? That is exactly how women select their partners. How do I know? I see who women accept and who they reject. I see the results of those choices. And I see what women do when they get older and see they aren't going to be able to snag one of the men they chose to sleep with to marry. That's right - they go to the men they rejected and pretend they see him in a different light, because otherwise, they'll be alone and have no source of support/income.

[–]learn2earn891 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Heavy generalizations here dude. My brothers, my cousins, and uncles were chosen by women who love them and have no eyes for anyone else. You should surround yourself with better people.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry. 2+2=4 whether I am surrounded by redpillers or rabid feminsts - facts don't change.

[–]CoffeehasSentienceI still haven't found the pill I'm looking for🎶0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Both sexes systematize.

we like the idea of each man/relationship/love being special and unique

It's different to be in a relationship and find it special and unique than searching for one; that's where you tend to systematize, when you're looking for something, not when you have that already.

[–]Barneysparky28 points29 points  (127 children) | Copy Link

No woman wants to be the one settled for either. Married people are not settling they found their person. In real life, you date a few people that don't fit then you meet the one that does and you go through life together. That's it.

I've been with my husband for 20 years. When I was younger I would occasionally fantasize about other men but not really. Porn in the head but heck no in real life. I've had sex with a few sexy guys, but so what, my husband is my person.

Alpha fucks beta bucks was written by a guy who was rejected for a all-around better guy whose trying to prop up his ego.

[–]LotBuilder23 points24 points  (107 children) | Copy Link

You are not getting it. In your mind your husband was the big winner. In our mind the few “sexy guys” that knocked it out with no effort, expense or commitment were the winners.

Guys do it too. We attempt to marry a girl that is “marriage material” avoiding reality (awalt). We don’t marry the hot trashy bipolar chick that was the best sex of our life and would blow us on command anytime and anywhere.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you for being balanced. Neither gender is a saint in all this.

[–]LotBuilder1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100%

[–]buarthaDelights in homosexuality21 points22 points  (48 children) | Copy Link

If a woman's husband wishes he could have gotten her with no effort and and not committed to her then she's not winning either. Sounds pretty evenly matched.

[–]LotBuilder8 points9 points  (47 children) | Copy Link

Any guy that gets married in 2019 is not a winner. Marriage is like buying a depreciating asset on a credit card with 29% interest.

[–]buarthaDelights in homosexuality26 points27 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Again, marrying someone who thinks of you in those terms is losing. Even casually observing how men interact with attractive women shows that they offer attention, money and commitment hand over fist to the women they truly want, and if he begrudges the woman he ends up with then she's not 'winning' by having him either.

[–]LotBuilder-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Beta BuX has go that route to land an attractive woman, Alpha doesn’t. He has those same girls being competitive to get and keep his attention. They are willing to be one of many FWB’s.

Beta BuX goes all out to land her and in 10 years she’s a nag with short hair and mom bod. His value can’t drop off... if he is unemployed or broke she is out of there. Her value drops off he is in it for the long haul.

[–]abicus434311 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sugar daddies are the ultimate beta bux.

[–]LotBuilder-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You don’t understand the dynamic of most Sugar relationships.

[–]abicus43437 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was a sugar baby. But ok then.

[–]BlueMattressTopper4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There are plenty of ‘alpha’ men who marry. When most people get to a certain age they want to settle down. Very few people want to be single forever.

[–]xXxINCELFAGGOTxXxj6q34fdtfcw3520 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cuz in many cases they marry women way below their own league. They simply don't get to experience all that bullshit cuz of their high value.

[–]LotBuilder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. That’s what people want. It so hard to come by these days. I wish them luck and hope they are one of the lucky ones.

[–]bunker_man._.5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As opposed to what? Even if you can get sex semi regularly from somewhere else, its not a replacement for a relationship, especially once you are older. Even the process of using tinder takes more effort than people want to have to use for every time they have sex. And by the time someone is getting to middle age, they have other priorities, especially the fact that they realize that if they don't have children their old age will be lonely and sterile.

[–]Barneysparky7 points8 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

The subgroup of men who think like you are avoided in marriage. You are not "alpha" you are discarded.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse7 points8 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

A woman married Charles Manson. Four prison guards got pregnant by one prisoner. Three women married Donald Trump.

Far worse men than anyone on here get pussy galore.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Mentally ill women with low self esteem exist.

Edit:

Three women married Donald Trump.

I know people think he's a sexist but there are clear perks to marrying DT. He's not a serial killer or drug dealer.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse-1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

No, but he's a serial rapist.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

He's not publicly known as a serial rapist.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

You mean he's not convicted. He's well known as a serial rapist though.

[–]adool666-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mentally ill women with low self esteem exist

So, all of them?

[–]LotBuilder12 points13 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

I was married for 16 years to a Wilhelmina contract model and D1 Volleyball player. I played D1 and minor league baseball. I am a bit old to be alpha but within my demographic I can land pretty much anything I wanted to because I make a lot of money. I’m just not big on divorced soccer moms. Why trade in for the same thing you just divorced?

Getting married is very easy. I literally got bombarded by thirsty single moms when I separated. There is nothing easier than the women approaching thirty with no serious marriage minded BF or kids. They are not discarding any guy with a decent job and BMI.

[–]Barneysparky-2 points-1 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Do you play a lot of video games? You write like you are playing one. I did this, then this, then you hit that.

[–]LotBuilder16 points17 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

None. But you attempting to pick at me rather than address anything I said is very telling. Take the loss and move on.

[–]HennythepainawayI don't even like Henny6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's pretty weak to attack someone when you don't like what he says

[–]adool6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's literally every BP strategy. Shaming.

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

bombarded by thirsty single moms

Such high value, very prime demographic, wow.

[–]LotBuilder1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What do you expect at 41, should I be bombarded by childless, never married NFL cheerleaders with masters degrees?

[–]nevomintoarcePurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what I keep hearing from Red Pillers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

LOL, you have no clue. You will, eventually, when reality slaps you in the face, but not now.

[–]Barneysparky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What reality will slap me in the face?

[–]abicus43436 points7 points  (41 children) | Copy Link

Uh...dude. you're a sugar daddy. Wtf?

[–]LotBuilder0 points1 point  (40 children) | Copy Link

What’s the issue? Better value than regular dating and WAY better value than marriage.

[–]abicus43435 points6 points  (39 children) | Copy Link

Nothing. I'm totes down w the SD/SB relationship, i was an SB, great deal. But you are commenting that men that pay for women instead of just getting to fuck them with no investment are the losers.....

[–]LotBuilder5 points6 points  (38 children) | Copy Link

No, I never called anyone a loser. There are phases in life. I’m 41 with two kids. I am not just going to bang the hot 20 years olds that I like to bang without bridging the gap. If I morphed back in time 20 years the same girls were crawling into my dorm room at night with no effort made. Or if I wanted to bang single soccer moms in their 30’s I could do that without much effort.

In my life, everything I do is expensive. Dating is expensive with women my age or 20 year olds, it’s just expensive in different ways. One way you get what you want, the other way you dont.

[–]abicus434311 points12 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

You just commented that men that invest anything in women are the beta bux and the alphas are the winners because they get free sex no investment. Now you are stating that it is alpha to pay for sex, how convenient. By your own definition if you are so alpha dating shouldnt be expensive at all, it should be free.

Paying for sex is literally "beta bux".

[–]LotBuilder1 point2 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

No, I didn’t say it was alpha to pay for girls. I said it was convenient. If a twin peaks waitress wants to come over one night a week because I bought her the new iPhone on my businesses plan and it costs me $41 a month then so be it. If I was dating some middle aged housewife I would be getting dragged into $1500 weekends in Napa. It’s all the same.

[–]abicus43436 points7 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Then maybe stating on this thread that alphas get free sex and beta bux have to pay for it, might not be the best look for you...just sayin.

[–]LotBuilder0 points1 point  (24 children) | Copy Link

You still don’t get it. Alpha is somewhat situational. I can bang all the pill popping drunk cougars at the country club with a DM on Instagram. “Come over for some wine” and it’s done. They are very attractive for being late 30’s+. They doll up and throw on some spanx and they are looking good. In that situation I’m alpha.

Problem is I don’t like that. I like the combo of a extremely long and lean midsection with perky puffy natural boobs that can only exists in a certain window of time. 18-24. Those girls generally don’t respond well to a 41 year old guy approaching them at a bar or the gym or wherever. Maybe 20% are open to dating someone with a 20 year age gap. Rather than wasting time and energy hitting on every girl I see that is my wheelhouse I can match with a few on Tinder/bumble and SA. It’s easier and more efficient to fish where the fish are. Is that beta... I guess. An alpha gets what he wants and how he wants it... and that’s what I do. Do I wish I were Leonardo DiCaprio and 20 year old bombshells were falling at my feet.., of course I do.

[–]daniellederek1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Cash is an amazing equalizer. There might be 1 in 25000 20 yr old naturally looking to casually date 50 yr old, offer cash incentives, pay that uni book, take care of the cable internet cell bill and it becomes 1 in 2500....

[–]abicus43431 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Uh huh. Beta bux.

[–]daniellederek0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Umm a wife/ltr from your age cohort would likely cost double anyway when all accounts are settled.

[–]Barneysparky18 points19 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

The guys I had sexy times with won nothing. It's not a contest.

If you paid to have sex with a porn star ( equaling non-attached sex with a "Chad") does that mean you'd spend your life wishing you could live with her instead of your life partner ? That's friggen nonsense.

Alpha fucks beta bucks was coined by men who were dumped for a more pleasant person to be around 100% of the time that term is used by disgruntled middle-aged men who tell you to swallow pills.

[–]LotBuilder7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

As girls age they look for a different type of guy to settle down with. The very top top tier girls can get an Alpha BuX but most have to settle a bit in the attraction level . We have all seen the Hot/Crazy scale on YouTube... that’s AF BB for guys

[–]Barneysparky9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Life is not a series of buttons you push to do something.

[–]LotBuilder6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you are smart you do... stupid people are guided be feels, smart people are guided by facts.

[–]mpnsk6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or maybe smart people create a whole framework of rationalisations that enables them to not feel the feels and avoid change?

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

LOL, both your links prove our point - women will leave a good man to go for a guy who's no good but is "hot" and maybe good in bed. Thanks for the help! Did you not read what you linked too, or did you actually think the women came out looking good in those situations?

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

LOL, both your links prove our point - women will leave a good man to go for a guy who's no good but is "hot" and maybe good in bed.

Actually that was my point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry, I read where you quoted one of the crazies and mistook her words for yours. I apologize.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah no problemo! I've done that a few times myself

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate to break it to you but I was that alpha fucks once or twice (but not more, really). It's real. It's just not every woman.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"More pleasant" being bullshit-talk for "hotter". Those men press your buttons - contrary to your claim below - so your pants drop. Women like you avoid actually pleasant men like the plague. Also, while you're dropping your pants... drop the attitude.

[–]Barneysparky1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you gone crazy because you're in high school not having sex? The person you made that offensive comment to is a married woman essentially old enough to be your grandmother.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL, I'm 50. And she was plenty offensive before I responded, as were you, but let me guess, you think men are just supposed to let women verbally abuse them and lie about them and not call them on it, right? Sorry, you want equality, you'll get exactly what I'd give a man who talked smack. When somebody talks bad about decent people, saying they were rejected because they were no good, those are fighting words and I'll respond without regards for age or gender. She doesn't get to talk bad about people and then invoke her age as a shield.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

AF/BB was written by men who had a good thing and blew it, and now they're trying to rationalize the breakup in a way that makes them not at fault.

[–]Barneysparky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

BPD.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Well, when the woman goes off with another man despite the guy she was with giving her everything, yeah, lady, it's not his fault. Quit making excuses for women's infidelity by blaming the men.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

This assumes that one, the husband was "giving her everything" and two, that the woman ran off with another man. Neither are automatically the case.

I left my second husband because I wanted a horse and some goats and he was dead-set against that. And I figured, OK, I'll just go off and do my own thing! And I did.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

... really? You left him over a desire for horses and goats. That almost makes the alternative - leaving him for a Chad - seem rational and reasonable. But thanks, you did him a favor.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Actually I did him a favor by spending the previous 12 years working my ass off to fulfill all of HIS dreams! When we were married, he was living in a singlewide trailer and up to his ass in debt. I cleared the debt (sometimes working three jobs at a time) and helped him build a big house in the country. He had all the toys to go along with it -- a tractor and fancy riding mower, motorcycle, RV for his fishing trips up north with his brothers, an old restored truck to take to car shows, a pole barn full of expensive woodworking tools. It was only when I finally decided I'd like a few things for myself that I ran up against the reality of his selfishness. There was no "give and take" with him; it was strictly "take."

The funny thing is, when he realized I was serious about leaving (and taking my paycheck with me, lol), he did a complete about-face. He said if I would stay, he'd agree to have things 50-50 from now on, and consider my wants instead of just riding roughshod over them. I said, why should I settle for 50/50 when if I leave, I can have things 100% my way? "Oh," he said.

Next day he came home from work telling me I had to hurry up and move out because he'd found a girl at work he wanted to date but she wouldn't have anything to do with him as long as his wife was still living under the same roof.

Twelve years I was married to that man.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit. I'm pretty black/red pilled but he sounds like a prick.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

He had a lot of positive attributes ... he held a steady job, didn't smoke, drink or use drugs, and was never violent or abusive. He had a reputation in the community as being a fine upstanding man just like his father, who had been equally well-regarded.

He was just ... selfish. Growing up, he had two older brothers who were golden boys, and a younger one who was mama's pet, so he kind of got the short end of the stick. He told me once that now that he was an adult, he didn't have to share his toys anymore. For instance, he never in all our years of marriage let me drive his truck!

Because he had so many fine upstanding qualities, I tolerated his weirdness for a long time ... and frankly I was too exhausted from working 50+ hours a week for years on end to finance his dreams. After my parents both died in an 18-month span, I took a hard look at my life and decided I wanted to enjoy life a little bit in case I died young too.

Have never regretted leaving, even though it probably cost me close to six figures as I simply walked away and let him keep the house, trucks, toys, tools, pretty much the whole shootin' match. I don't regret that either. I have a really good life now ... hope he does, too.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well at least you're both likely better now.

[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha, he married the girl he started dating as soon as I moved out. Guess he kept her on her best behavior for two years before tying the knot but as soon as she got the ring on her finger, she quit her job and he has been supporting her (and her kid) ever after. Mutual friends reported that he wasn't too pleased with this situation. Yeah I'll bet. LOL!

[–]_sinnere4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

But you were probably willing to do more in bed for the approval of those sexy guys than what you'd do in bed for your husband.

[–]Barneysparky5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Nonsense. 20 years is a lot of time to experiment with each other. Within casual sex, it's best to stick with the basics.

Again that myth has been told by guys who were rejected.

[–]_sinnere2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Okay. I often read that once married, many of the women who end up cheating, do a lot more in bed with their affair partners than they'd ever do with their husbands.

Often having to do with finding their APs more attractive and wanting to please.

This has me think that many women who do marry "settle" and never found their husbands all that attractive whether it be physical or other desirable traits.

Or they just know their husband isn't going anywhere so the desire to please isn't there.

This in particular is not a myth and can be backed up by the hundreds of personal stories found on survivinginfidelity.

[–]Barneysparky1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sure many woman have experienced oral sex performed on them the first time within an affair.

A great many husbands will only have sex in a certain way.

Kinda a different way of thinking about it?

[–]shonenhikada1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Studies found married men have one of the lowest in sexual satisfaction. Unmarried Men dating women but living apart from her tend to have highest sexual satisfaction.

[–]Barneysparky1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you aware that viagra is a recent invention, that many men can't take it, and old guys generally can't get it up, especially with obesity?

Of course, you have sex more fully when you are dating. For many couples that's the only time they actually set aside time to be with each other. Morning sex isn't the most satisfying for anyone.

The survey gives you the facts of life. When you have an adult life with family sex kinda get routine. It's not the end of the world to a guy whose thinking about how his kid did in soccer that week. Married men report overall happiness. Single men don't.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry, hun, the men who made the mistake of marrying women like you have spoken about how you act, so the cat's out of the bag. The only myths are being spread by women like you. And in due course of time, you'll get your pink slip.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Alpha fucks beta bucks was written by a guy who was rejected for a all-around better guy whose trying to prop up his ego.

Oh my God obviously you have never heard of women going back to their Chad ex's... and clearly you've never heard of paternity fraud.

I take the more moderate position - Alpha widows are commonplace but not every woman is like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Horseshit.

[–]LotBuilder5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“It’s your turn”

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I'm gonna give that beat-up, ruined heap of a car a pass. The wheels look like they'll fall off at any moment. And I sure as hell ain't paying the brand-new price for that thing, even if I did want it.

[–]bunker_man._.2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, its not anyone's first choice, but the people in that position are still receiving the better of the available options. Its not like she did it to spite this particular guy she ended up with. So the idea of comparing them as if they knew eachother the whole time makes no sense.

[–]qloudxNo Pill2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What if she or he genuinely thinks you're "the one" and they've finally found the one they were looking for?
How exactly do you deduct that someone "settled for" someone else just because they've had many partners in the past?

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Society wise the chancess are she is settling to you by about 60-70%, why bother taking the risk? It is about the juice aint worth the squeeze.

[–]KikiYuyuPurple Pill Woman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why assume she's "settled"? It could also be that she chose the guy. Not every decision is based on resigning and settling for second best.

[–]mistresswhat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The assumption that someone who has had other experiences is by definition "settling" for the person she's with is so fucking neurotic.

Humans move on. You get dumped or rejected and you get over it. You don't go into some dumb mode where every person you meet after that is a second choice.

Y'all need therapy.

[–]Beaverdam112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how this implies "settling for". Why would it be that any subsequent partner after the first one is inferior? Maybe the new person is miles better.

[–]diffdedbedGreen Eyed Devil2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My wife knows she wasn't even the first choice of mine at the party we met at, she was plan b.

I also know that plan A wouldn't have been good in retrospect and that I got lucky I went for plan b.

It wasn't being settled for like a business negotiation. It was this is what worked out and I'm happy with it.

[–]lemonfluff8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Well in what contexf do you mean "jealous of her past". Do you mean she's in love with an ex or do you mean she's had a lot of sex with very muscular men? If it's the first then yes, maybe she's settled if she's STILL in love with him. For any other scenario she's CHOSEN you. She's not settled, she's chosen you.

Honestly jealousy is an ugly trait. And it either stems from not having something you want (which isn't the case here because you've got the woman you want) or it stems from insecurity and not feeling like you're enough, needing constant validation.

For the latter (which seems to be the case here) that insecurity is something you need to work on, not anything your girlfriend can do. It needs to come from you and actually doesn't have anything to do with you girlfriend. You need to focus on loving yourself and feeling enough in yourself.

[–]Truedemocracy52 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

She chose you lol more likely was either dumped or knew the lifestyle was unobtainable for a kid and settled for someone safe

[–]lemonfluff-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

And it's that self defeatist attitude and low self esteem that is the root of all of your relationship problems. The problem isn't her mate, it's you. Tackle the actual problem and you'll find women aren't so difficult to read anymore

[–]Truedemocracy50 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I have no issues with women mate, know how they work quite well

[–]lemonfluff-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Coming from a woman, you clearly dont.

[–]Truedemocracy50 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol and you think that means anything?

[–]lemonfluff-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you don't understand women , yes

[–]Truedemocracy50 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

slept with more than I can count

[–]jimmypage0656 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When she tells you about all the huge horsecock she’s had ... but tells you the way you fuck makes up for not being large and refers to your junk as tgat little hard dick.... that’s settling!!!!!

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And you dont just leave because ....

[–]HennythepainawayI don't even like Henny2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

...they're doormats who think that's the best they'll ever get.

[–]Bekiala8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

She may have grown away from her last partner. Or realized she couldn't form a LTR with her last partner. Relationships end for all kinds of reasons.

Settling seems like only one possibility of why she is with her current boyfriend. Throughout history there has rarely been a time like now in the western world in which women have so much independence. 100 years ago, men had lots of reasons to think women settled for them as women had such few options. Now women have many other routes they can take. They don't have to partner with a man if they don't want to.

[–]reluctantly_red5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Stop rationalizing it's pretty damn easy to tell when a woman is settling. If she's looking for a bailout 99 percent chance she's settling.

[–]Bekiala5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What makes my post rationalizing? I just explaining what I have seen. I absolutely can't tell when a woman is settling. I have never dated a woman in my life so if you could please explain how you know a woman is settling, I will be enlightened.

[–][deleted] 1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Bekiala1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay. I will take your word for it.

Have you dated women like this? Or do you have friends who date women like this?

I have never been around these type of people. What I have seen is what I described above.

Most of my friends and family eventually found someone they thought they had a shot at having a decent marriage with and got married.

I always remember one friend who described her dating and eventual marriage as follows: You're weird; You're weird; You're weird; Okay, you will work and she married the guy that looked like she could get along with for a LTR.

As you can probably guess, I don't run around with the hook-up types nor folks who are into status symbol spouses.

[–]AbyssinianLion3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m convinced half of the problems that many men complain about in this sub would be solved if you guys converted to Islam.

[–]lagavengerNo Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude.... biggest eye opener ever...

[–]Erma_3146 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

She's entitled to her past just as you are yours. And so...shes with you now...is a very nice way of saying she's her own person. Always has been, and as a person, she chooses to be with you now. Her previous choices wernt wong, and although feeling insecure is normal, those feels tend to cast blame. Blame for a crime that was never commited.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Now. A key word. Now. Women love men in the present.

[–]BlueMattressTopper4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As opposed to the past or future? You can only remember your feelings in the past and you can only estimate the future. This comment means nothing.

[–]statusincorporated6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Nah. The feels are valid....which is why men should very carefully screen their partners

[–]LittleBigCheeks1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How can you very seriously say if a woman has had any relationship or sex before you she must be settling. What if she just hasn't met you yet? She could have ended her past relationships. It seems every guy on here wants a virgin (a slutty one at that) who has never had feelings fir anyone until she laid eyes on the guy. It's just not realistic. There are so many reasons why her previous relationships may have ended and why you are better for her. Sure, it's a possibility she was dumped by every guy she truly liked and is settling. One of many possibilities. So don't date that woman.

My previous two LTRs were great for a lot of reasons, I learned a lot about myself and conducting healthy relationships. In both cases we simply grew apart, changed as people or went different ways in our lives and I ended things. It has actually made me more selective in future partners because I know what I'm looking for in a relationship and I won't settle. I was looking for someone who was the right fit for me and my future and had all the qualities I'd want in a partner. My current relationship is the best yet (have definitely not settled) and I'm also a better girlfriend to him because I've had experience in working as partners.

This jealous line of thinking is just not healthy.

[–]statusincorporated0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't say that so the rest of your comment isn't worth responding to. I suggest you burn it with the other sttawmen.

[–]Erma_3142 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Everyone (at least the vast majority) has a past...so...unless we operate under the pretense women shouldn't have sexual partners.. what would your screening entail? Which women would you be excluding?

[–]statusincorporated-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I talked about it in another post

[–]Erma_3141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good luck bro!

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s a little of both. Everyone should “very carefully screen their partners” according to who they are now (because of their past).

[–]Overarching_Chaos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I hear this phrase being thrown around a lot, especially on the web. "She is with you now, that's all that matters".

Well no. Just because she is with you doesn't mean her past is magically erased, nor does it exclude the possibility that perhaps she is only settling by being with you. If you eliminate the possibility that she is settling, then I guess it would make some sense to say that, but if she's just using you for emotional comfort because the guy she really wants dumped her or only wanted her for sex, then it does matter.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why is it settling?

See, the normal process of the human brain is to grow in complexity over time, corresponding to how we grow more complex as people. An 18 or 20 year old woman (or man) doesn't really know shit about what they need in an adult relationship, out of sex, etc yet. No one really knows themselves as an adult at 20, at least not in our culture.

As people age, date, fuck, and refine their experience and understanding of their own needs and desires, priorities naturally change. Also, as you experience things, they aren't new anymore. The hot guy tinder experience might be fun for some people forever, but for most people casual sex loses it's appeal after a while. I have a huge sex drive, but I'm 34 I am truly done with like picking people up at bars or anything that involves immediate "trying to hook up tonight" effort. I wander through dating sites and fetlife and such looking for people who would make good fwb and I start a conversation and see if there's chemistry. I look for attraction with no commitment and that is honestly wayyyyy easier to find than commitment these days in women under 35 at times. Everyones gunshy about marriage and long term anything these days.

And you know, I'm honestly just not attracted to the kinda people who go out for one night stands anymore. Like, if she isn't interesting to me outside the bedroom I'm not interested. Masturbation is more fulfilling than average at best sex with a random person. I've had too much "We know each other really really well and how to drive each other insane" sex in my life for casual sex to have any luster left. Had too many lighting tingly connections with women where awkwardness melted away to settle for drunk sex with a bar hookup ever again.

Women aren't all that different from us. I see tons of women with casual sex experiences saying the same kinda stuff I'm saying. Given that casual sex takes like no effort for most women if they really want to seek it out, yeah, more of them than us are going to have experiences with it. That's life. It's not women's fault that most men have like zero standards outside of appearance and immediate attitude towards them. I often look at other guys wondering why the standards are so low myself. Not all sex is worth seeking, but lots of men act like any sex is worth seeking.

I see that desperation fucking everywhere. I was raised in the 90s, I remember being taught like men are supposed to always want it and you're not a man if you're not ready to fuck anytime anywhere and shit. I see the same stupid juvenile generalizations about men in Red Pill. Yeah, when most of your sex drive is a desperate need for intimacy and touch you have no other way to get than sex as well as a desperate need for validation of your masculinity you're going to think that you want sex all the fucking time.

When you have sex all the fucking time you get to figure out if you actually have that big of a sex drive. Lots of guys don't. That's why /r/sex has plenty of threads from girls asking how to get their boyfriends to want to have sex more than once a week.

You call it settling because your perspective is unbalanced. It is extremely self absorbed and based on a childish and self centered interpretation of another person's life. It is broadcasting your insecurity about not being good enough to the world and externalizing it. If you aren't good enough then she's settling and shouldn't have dated you in the first place? Or do you genuinely want a return to purity ideals where women are like waiting for you and not developing history before they meet you and date you? I don't understand how you realistically want the world to cater to this insecurity you have about being settled for without straight up emotionally abusing women for having experiences.

[–]phlegmdawgPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I did the whole reddit reward system I’d buy you a gold!

This is a such a succinct summarization of the actual logic of this argument.

Thank you for taking the time.

[–]eskergion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, I'd be single rather than be the one some woman settled with.

I hear these stories of women who got married but they treated their exes better than their husbands. And honestly it sickens me. Would be a complete deal breaker for me.

[–]mandoa_sky3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What about the flip side? He’s got just an extensive history as her (usually more).

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

We aren't talking about the top 15% men here. It is all dandelions and flowers there & they should man up and get on with their lives. We are talking about the bottom 70% of men who have a very small or nonexistant history.

[–]mandoa_sky-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

so date a lady with just as little extensive history.

most of the ladies i know have 2-3 tops by mid 30s.

top ladies have more options. attractive people have more options and more opportunities. that's life

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I don't care personally about how much of a history she has. I only care about her personality and her looks way more than how many partners she has. I am talking about what other guys are saying.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.4 points5 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever changed brands before?

Like maybe you used to shave with Gillette but for some reason you just decided to give Schick a try. Like maybe it was cheaper or something or holy shit it has 5 blades and Gillette's 3 blades can't compare. You like it just fine so when it's time to replace it you stick with Schick. So you're using Schick now and it's cheaper and it like it better than Gillette for some reason. Is that BS? Did you "settle" for Schick?

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled14 points15 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

If you select against the traits you find most enjoyable, strictly for stability, that is settling.

e.g. I enjoy fast cars. But I had to sell my sports car, real story, after we had kids because I didn't have time or money to deal with it. I bought an SUV and a family rule is I never, ever, will own a minivan. It is family ending worthy. I'm just now getting around some 6 years later to getting something fun again.

I settled for the SUV because it's what had to be done. But my heart always missed that third pedal and the 700 horsepower.

tldr ; Chad is a sports car and Brads (low beta Minivan\high beta SUV)are just a necessary change. A "real man."

And guess what, calling my SUV a "real vehicle" and my old sports car a "immature toy car" is ridiculous. Anyone that had a ride knew which one was a better automobile, but everyone also knew\knows why the SUV is the choice that was made.

I settled, they settle. Still want some of that Chadsports car, I yearn for it.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.4 points5 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Dunno man, I used to think that way about minivans. We don't own one (yet) but we always rent one for road trips. But IMHO getting a minivan now that I have experienced one I wouldn't really be "selecting against" or "settling" for anything. It's a great fit for my life.

Except I would certainly "select against" an SUV. We've been forced to rent those too for road trips when the minivans weren't available. Somehow SUV designs are so god-damned infuriating. Minivans are like the fucking tardis--there's always another compartment to pack/store something. You can tell minivans have far more real-world thought in their design.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy Link

They're both in the beta category, I'm talking about the sports car and not "for your family."

If not that, then the BMW with a V12 where such a thing is not economical on your daily commute etc.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.9 points10 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Dude, machines are machines. There's nothing "alpha" about using the wrong machine for the wrong job. Nobody's impressed by someone trying to drive screw with a hammer.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled4 points5 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

The point remains. Although a Ferrari makes a poor vehicle for daily transit or for a family, anyone being honest recognizes it's the superior machine to the minivan.

You settle for the minivan, even if the Ferrari wouldn't even fit your kids. And no one takes you seriously when you say it's a "real vehicle."

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.4 points5 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Buying a SUV for a minivan's workload because you really want a Ferarri is the dumbest fucking thing ever.

But if we're just going to claim individual machines are superior to others regardless of workload suitability, well so sorry but a modern MRI scanner makes a Ferrari look like bronze age tech. Hell, I'd even rank a CT scanner over a Ferrari.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Stop playing stupid to the actual point. No one lusts over a minivan. It's just part of life, you accept it. You settle. You tell yourself the SUV isn't one, technically.

[–]LittleknownfactsAutomod is my husband4 points5 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Maybe not, but I know plenty of people who went all in on the sports car only to curse it every day since. Who's settling?

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

That's what settling is.

I want this, but I have to settle on this because it's more pragmatic.

curse it every day since.

I get it. It's basically the same thing as "I can't believe he never called me back, I'm never letting that happen again."

$3K rear end rebuild, $8000 long block, etc etc. All part of the game, and if you could fit your family in there and it was reliable there's NO reason why you'd be looking at a Camry.

That's what provisioning is, more or less.

"Well... he's no sports car, but at least he's reliable and we can go on vacation twice a year."

Brads are basically Camry's that brag about being reliable and good on gas.

[–]FagMob4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would lust after a Mercedes g wagon more than any fast sport car like Ferrari, lambo etc

[–]katymarxPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your statement so many complexity

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel you. I drive a shitbox coupe but its fun and manouverable and has heated seats and the BMW logo. I drove my parents old minivan for like a year and I do not wanna go back to that shit anytime soon. Shit even my parents work to find any other vehicle now that we're grown.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've always compared them to

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_pack

[–]statusincorporated0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ya. The chick has to think of you either as a sports car or a beat up sports car that with some fixing could be a sports car.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right. Ide rather be a notoriously awful sports car than a world class minivan.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's fine with an actual car, since it has no feelings one way or the other. Doing that to a person, however, is extremely shitty. If you don't love someone, don't marry them or get into a relationship with them just so you can obtain the benefits. Either keep trying to get your chad or resign yourself to being alone. And a sports car is only "better" for some purposes, such as looks and speed - whereas the SUV is clearly superior for other purposes. If you just want hot sex and a good-looking partner, sure, a chad's fine. If you want an actual relationship where the man actually values you and intends to love and support you to the end of your days, the "inferior" guy is the better choice. And understand: men are thru letting women choose Chad for 15 years, then "setting" for another guy because Chad wouldn't marry up. If a woman doesn't want anything to do with a man when they're both young, she's got no right to expect one damn thing from him when they're older.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but if your razors are cheaper because you grew a beard and use them once a month the razor company may not be hapoy you spent your smooth years when you bought more elsewhere.

[–]wekacuckLife is settling.5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

True. But they're plenty happy for now. And if they're not stupid they're going to do their damnedest to keep my happy and not give me an excuse to walk by bitching about how much I truly want Gillettes.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, one side is happy and one has a less than ideal scenario.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let me modify your scenario so it's accurate to life: You have a choice between Gillette and Schick and choose Gillette even though people have told you Schick is a good brand and Gillette sucks. So you use the Gillette and it's nothing but problems all the time, either the blade won't cut, or the blade's too sharp and injures you, or the head keeps falling off, etc. Despite this - and despite complaining loudly to all your friends whenever you encounter a problem with your chosen razors - you continue to use Gillette for years (ignoring your friend's entreaties to try Schick) because there's something you like about the brand for some perverse reason, until one day, you go to the store and discover that Gillette has gone out of business, and buying more of their razors is not longer an option. You sigh. You have to shave, so you'll have to settle for some other brand, that you passed over earlier. (sigh) guess I'll take the Schick... maybe they won't be that bad... (sigh) sure miss my Gillette...

[–]LillthOfBabylon3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In the words of Bo Burnham: "You might think your dick is a gift, I promise you that it's not"

Everyone settles because the majority of people's ideal lover is a myth. Also, please look into the Bo Burnham song I linked. That really sums up my response.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

The issue with that is he says men should lower their standards a lot while women should only lower them a little. That doesn't really match up to reality. I really enjoy his work but it's obvious he suffers from a heavy pro-female bias and is very liberal, so it makes sense that he's tougher on men.

[–]LillthOfBabylon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh lord, if this doesnt summarize TRP.

Bo: Everyone should lower their expectations. Youre not that perfect, get over yourselves.

TRP: BUT WOMEN SHOULD DO IT MORE! Why are you so pro-woman?!

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men don't have high standards. Don't be a deformed or a whale, don't be a cunt, and put out. That's literally it for most guys. Women have giant lists of standards. He's too short, he's too nice, he's too poor, he likes video games, etc. Women will find the most inane shit to write somebody off. Men do not do this en masse like women do. The issue is he is stating a bullshit platititude that men have too high of standards. Oh, so what gender is blaming the other for the low marriage rates because the guys don't make enough money again? What gender fucks toxic people and then turns around and says all men are shit because they are an immature child who dates men with that behavior? This is not an equal issue, women by and large have higher standards. Women look for reasons to get rid of men because they have so many options they can afford to be picky as fuck. Men look for reasons to make shit work. The statement is a bullshit platitude, most men do not have high expectations.

It's like those career women that pretend like men aren't interested because they are "intimidated', but it's really because they are middle aged women that want guys that are more successful and more attractive than they are. Men wouldn't care about being poorer than career women IF said women didn't care but guess what, they do. Everything is men's fault I guess. You choose to date fuckboys, or nobody is good enough for your shallow ass, and that is somehow my fault? Fuck that bullshit.

Also, I'm not even redpill, I'm just here to watch this shitheap planet burn with popcorn in my hands. I have given up at this point because I'm so done with women's game playing immature little bullshit and their emotional mind games. I don't even give a fuck if it does make me a loser, because I'm sick of it frankly. It doesn't even matter at the end of the day, just another depressed cog in the machine that's used to farm tax dollars while living out a boring shit existence, like a cattle at a slaughterhouse. Just another lonely face in a sea of others, who cares? At some point I'll probably just snap and spend my life savings on hookers and coke, probably OD and die from a heart attack. At least it'll be an after or too of genuine joy and fulfillment. Or I'll just be too high to care. I don't know anything about coke so it's possible with my incompetency I'll just die the first time I use it.

[–]LillthOfBabylon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men don't have high standards.

Thank you for proving my point and Bo's point even further. Bo even had a part of his song where men pretend they never have unrealistic expectations.

don't be a cunt, and put out.

Except alot of guy would totally put up with an awful woman as long as she's hot and/or slutty, which is why so many guys end up hurt. Instead of just admitting he was an idiot, he has to blame society for his bad decisions.

all men are shit because they are an immature child

No. Just the ones who have to blame their dating problems on everyone else.

[–]tgertcherTake The Grimace Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you're telling me that guys don't even care if you're a cunt or not? This doesn't disprove anything. If you are not morbidly obese or deformed most guys would date you. If that's high standards then what is "Must be 6 foot tall, must be charming, must be confident, must be rich, etc"?

[–]brander201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The idea that there is a perpetual contest in maintaining a relationship is as mentally sound as John Nash was when he came up with those outdated views of individuals. People aren't always looking to fuck you over, some people have different motivations for different types of commitment. Not every case of a relationship is a case of being in perpetual competition. Some men and women are healthy individuals who can pair bond and some are unhealthy, constantly surveying for potential new mates to move on to when the time is right. That TRP believes this is always the case is completely due to their outdated views of economics, and their focus on certain types of women's human behaviour in their teens and early twenties.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And yet women who have left men will say "I just didn't feel it anymore" or words to that effect, so yeah, men do in fact have to work their butts off to keep a woman - unless, of course, the men in question are Chads, in which case the women will compete for their attention.

[–]BryFy3541 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The insecurity in this statement is palpable. “The one she settled for” makes it clear that you are looking at your relationship through the lens of external factors, rather than the relationship it is, in reality, right in front of you.

Why obsess over the past and irrelevant third parties when you could just be spending time with someone you enjoy and are attracted to?

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[–]wtknightGen X Slacker4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sure. Boycott relationships with women who have had casual sex lifestyles if it bothers you so much. It's what I've done and it has worked out great for me, although the woman you end up with may not be as experienced in the bedroom as you want her to be.

[–]statusincorporated2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If more men did this the problem would solve itself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

"The woman you end up with may not be as experienced"... um, that's actually what a lot of men want, a woman with less "mileage". When you buy tires, which do you choose, the brand-new ones, or the ones that have hardly any tread left on them?

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m saying that they might be disappointed due to her being bad in bed due to lack of experience, as well as perhaps due to having a lower sex drive, which may have been why she did not seek out casual sex experiences previously.

[–]azngirl76892 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope none of these men have ex girlfriends or FWBs. Practice what you preach right?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hm

Have sex still counts?

[–]atypicalgamergirl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being settled for is terrible. You get treated exactly as you would expect when you are with someone who wishes they could do better.

[–]trueorfalsedmitryred despite the handle-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

The hackneyed PPD phrase is "everybody settles." This is kinda bullshit...

Men "alight" more than they ever "settle." Most men (literally, as most men get married) marry the most attractive woman they've ever been with. Sometime this arbitrary cutoff occurs earlier in life, sometimes later.

Some women marry very young, wedding the first man they have any sort of relationship with. Some small fraction of these marriages survive a long time. Most end. Other women wait. Of those that wait, very, very few meet "the one" randomly. Rather, they search out (or otherwise engineer meeting) the guy they marry. They determine what they must have for a marriage (financially, stability, etc.) and they find a man that can offer those "what-I-now-find-sexy" things, in a package they can stomach.

Women are deliberate in their settling. Men are semi-random.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most men (literally, as most men get married) marry the most attractive woman they've ever been with

as a 28 year old starting to see my high school/college classmates pair off and get married, i can say with absolute certainty that this is bullshit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right, those attractive women (with rare exceptions) aren't getting married young because that would mean - gasp! - sticking to one man, and they want variety and excitement. No doubt the better young men would like to marry such women, but the women either don't want them at all or don't want any commitments tying them down.

[–]trueorfalsedmitryred despite the handle-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women's estimation of attractiveness of other women not part of their clade is just flat-out super-biased.

I have tons of women I went to college with making comments like, "Why did he marry her?" Jane looks like ass compared to the wife they are comparing.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

uh, no. i can tell how attractive women are compared to each other. what youre describing is a MALE thing lmao

[–]BlueMattressTopper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you’re giving way too much credit to women.

[–]DXBrigade0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Firstly, I Don't see men marrying the most attractive women they've been with. Plenty of men, never manage to find a woman as hot as their ex.

Secondly, because you marry the most attractive you've been with,doesn't mean that you aren't settling.

Thirdly, women care a lot about physical attractiveness, it matters as much as emotionnal and Financial stability.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL, if emotional stability were actually a requirement for women that would cut down the number of viable Chads vastly, as most of them are never-do-wells with looks as their only asset.

[–]trueorfalsedmitryred despite the handle-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Plenty of men, never manage to find a woman as hot as their ex.

I've catalogued my experience before (quantitatively). I find this is never true. Given the breadth of class, ethnicity, and education my acquaintances span, I cannot believe my experience is not fairly representative.

Secondly, because you marry the most attractive you've been with,doesn't mean that you aren't settling.

I understand the distinction you are drawing here, but it is one without a difference. It is a scholastic argument.

Thirdly, women care a lot about physical attractiveness, it matters as much as emotionnal and Financial stability.

"Matters" is the key word here. Of course is matters! It just doesn't trump those other things when it comes time to actually choose a mate. But, yes, it matters a great deal. That is precisely the tension that leads to dead bedrooms, i.e. she married the "good catch," but cannot bear to have sex with that ordinary-looking man another time...

[–]daniellederek-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Marry up by 25 or settle down at 32

[–]jkonrad 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

In almost every situation she is settling, because you aren’t Brad Pitt or whoever her main crush is.

In almost every situation he is settling because she is not Taylor Swift or whoever.

One learns to get the best one is able to get.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That is a logical fallacy, you are using a dishonest argument. Society changed so that now women have the keys to relationships and sex-- they don't give a shit if a guy wants to marry them unless they are kind and fun and accept them for their past. They would rather just have fun single and are completely content with it because we live in a society that takes care of them completely.

Men are fucked. They either have to man up, swallow their pride, get help, and accept these women ooorrr they are single forever in a society that will always frown on them.

A college guys new focus is competing extremely hard on their career at a young age, be kind, accept women have keys to both, and pick a women that likes his whole package. The game changed to this and men are pissed off. Women are complaining too but it is completely out of selfishness-- they have the power now but they want more(more CEO seats, etc). We are in a gender war-- this will be the reality for the next 100 years and guys already lost. The one hope they have is sex robots/VR porn to switch the tides but women will never let that happen(even now they are saying porn is misogynistic by nature and should be banned)

[–]jkonrad 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree, it sounds like you’re pretty fucked. What are you doing about it?

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think I will get by as one of the luckier ones bc I already get dates with really cool girls with good personalities easily-- it is more trying to find the right person for me. I always played life on safe mode so I did my 20s to maximize a complete nice life later on and i am reaping my rewards now. Granted it will be a little tough since I didn't expect for things to turn up a notch but it has always been tough so it is no biggie-- just another challenge, just another day.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No. The war is almost over - and men will win when they collectively agree not to marry women like those who rejected them in their 20s. Once the bailouts end, and women understand that rejecting good men to fuck hot guys will 100% result in no marriage, they will - very reluctantly - begin to change their behavior. 30% of all men in the U.S. got no sex at all last year, because women only want the hottest guys. That's a hell of a lot of men, and more than enough to make an impact in multiple arenas - including politics. Those men can and will vote against whichever party supports these women (and I think we all know which party that is.) If they stay strong and accept that, while they may personally see no benefits, their sons or grandsons will, those men can turn the tide.

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand where you are coming from. I mean any laws that get passed will have high turnout now on both sides. Women vote more than men and they have a good portion of men on their side too vs the 40% of men who will all turn up on voting days. I just think they will pressure men to give in. I guess we will see. It will depends mostly on what the powers that be want.

[–]Physiologist21Cynic-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Settling" is what you should be doing, both of you because everyone has flaws and problems and normal healthy relationships require a large amount of character building. They require you to be good at communicating, sacrifice and understanding.

They require you to not have a silly notion that people will understand you without telling them whats inside that noggin or that "if he doesnt deal with me at my worst, he doesn't get me at my best". Too bad in this day and age of inflated narcissism and instant gratification no one takes stock of themselves anymore.

If you can't have a hard and honest convo with yourself than you are going to have shit relationships all your life.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For those of you who are saying "How do you know she's settling?": Here's how.

If you were the kind of guy who always got rejected by women, never could get a break or a chance, and then when she's 30, 35 this woman comes along and wants to marry you, the obvious question is "If she is interested in men like me, why did she not marry a guy like me when she was younger? Why only now is she interested in my type of man?" The answer is obvious: She tried to get the hot guys she really wanted to commit to marriage, but couldn't get them to because most of them didn't want to settle down and had younger options anyway. Guaranteed if you look at her history she rejected a lot of really decent guys because she thought they weren't handsome enough or might not be good in the sack (which seems to be the primary thing young women are looking for... of course, since the women never have sex with the rejected men, they have no idea what they missed). Women marry the kind of men they rejected in their earlier years not because they changed their minds or realized they made a mistake rejecting them, but because they need a stable source of income and it's these guys or nothing. If that same women got a marriage proposal from a hot dude, she'd dump the not-so-hot guy in an instant. The problem for women is that men are getting wise to this kind of bullshit and are refusing to marry women who just see them as a bailout. Ladies, you made your choice - now live with it.

[–]eboy4hire-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think her having your babies is what really counts. That's what sex is all about.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Which is why historically so much importance has been placed on marrying a virgin - so you can know for sure they are indeed your babies.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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