This is mostly a response to this post from earlier today:

Do Red Pill criticizers realize that most men at The Red Pill WISH it wasn't true?

What struck me as curious about that post is that pretty much all the RP posters who responded had some odd ideas of what constitutes as Blue Pill dating advice. To be more concrete many seemed to think that just because we blue pill sheeple believe in genuine, repectful and mutual relationships, we also think that as long as you are a nice guy™ you don't have to pay attention to anything else because women will eventually come to you due to your niceness.

That kind of idea is of course pretty stupid. Red Pill is not wrong when they say that many young men enter dating with wrong expecations of what is expected of them and have a hard time because of it. If you want to be in a relationship and aren't in the top 5% hottest men you have to work for it.

However TRP also completely overcompensates with their dating advice.

What I want to do is set things straight and share some dating tips that I as a blue pill man belive you can follow to be more successful in dating without entering the moraly gray to flat out disgusting area of some TRP dating advice and provide a counterexample to the "Hehe stupid blues think that women will come to them if they just wait enough" mentality.

1. Be proactive

As a man you have to do the asking out. If you are super hot some women might approach you but for the vast majority of men this won't work. So you need to be active and put yourself into situations where you meet and talk to women. This might be the classics of bars, clubs or tinder (though most studies seem to suggest they are a bad place to meet women for most men) or elsewhere like in some hobby, at school/university or work, during travels or wherever else you might meet people.

2. Be yourself

This piece of advice seems to get grossly misinterpreted by most of Red Pill.

What being yourself means:

You should not fake character traits or interests to attract a girl. Don't pretend to be super into some band just because your date told you she likes them. Don't pretend that you are outgoing and visit clubs and parties all the time even though you would much rather stay at home and read a book or play videogames.

Just be genuine about your interests and if your date does the same you will probably find some common ground. If you need to fake to find any common ground then a relationship would probably not be a good idea anyway.

What being yourself doesn't mean:

Being yourself doesn't mean you can't do anything to improve yourself. If you are lazy, don't properly take care of yourself, don't do sports, don't shave, and just sit in your room all day, those aren't character traits, but habits and bad habits at that. You are allowed to change those. You probably should in fact.

Also, if you are an asshole and make others in your vicinity uncomfortable you should probably change that too but that's more a matter of basic human decency than just dating advice.

If you are overly shy you might want to work on that too which brings us right to the next point:

3. Be confident

One of the basic tennants of TRP seems to be that women prefer assholes. This is of course bullshit but there is a reason why people believe it. Women for the most part (exceptions exist) don't seem to like men who are unsure about themselves in a conversation.

Of course one way to to not be unsure about yourself in a conversation is to not give a fuck about anything and treat everyone around you like dirt. This approach will in fact probably work better than stammering all the time or not saying anything at all, but it will also alienate and disgust a lot of people. It will also make you an asshole. You don't want to be an asshole.

The important thing is to go into the conversation being happy with yourself. How you achieve that is up to you. You might go to a fitness studio to improve your body image like TRP often proposes, start meditation, give yourself a 20 min pep talk in the mirror, or just adopt a more relaxed attitude to life in general. Whatever works for you really.

Another good tip is to go into the conversation with the main goal to have a fun time regardless of the outcome. TRP actually has some somewhat similar advice, telling you to be dominant and steer the converstation wherever you want. The thing is, women do not actually like being shut up about something they want to talk about. What they do like are men who are not afraid to talk about what they are passionate about instead of just saying whatever they think she will see as positive.

TRP are right when they say you should not constantly worry about what your date wants and instead steer the conversation towards where you want. However the important thing is to be pleasant about it and to allow your date to steer the conversation towards where she wants in equal measure.

4. Be aware of what women want

Women enjoy relationships and sex as much as men do, but their attraction works differently. Now, Red Pill often claims that women are only attracted to the top 20% of men and that every one else needs to use game to essentially trick women into thinking they are more attractive than they actually are.

This is partially right but also wrong. It is true that if you ask women who of a room of random strangers is above average attractiveness they will only point to the top twenty or so percent. However the reason for this is not that women are overly picky by nature, but that female attraction is not primarily visual based in first place, but emotional based. (This is also the reason why women usually prefer written porn focusing on emotions like 50 shades over visual porn like men consume it)

Unless you are rediculously hot a woman needs to get to know a man before she really starts finding him attractive. Thus if you want to ask a woman on a date unless she feels particularly charitable you'll need to talk to her and establish some common ground and mutual attraction before you ask her out.

Incidentially this is what TRP's "game" is all about, though in reality it doesn't have to be nearly as fake and manipulative as red pill makes it out to be.

There are essentially two components to female attraction, familarity and desire.

Familarity is really just stuff that you know about each other, common interests, common humor, essentially most of the stuff you would also find in a normal same-gender friendship. Of course at this point I can already hear you typing something along the lines of "Stupid Blue Pill if you do that you'll totally get friendzoned!", and yeah that is true but that is where the second aspect of desire comes in.

Female desire is to a large part derieved from mutuality. If you want a woman to become attracted to you, you need to show here that you are attracted to her. This is where many of the infamous nice guys™ go wrong. They are afraid of coming across as disrespecful or creepy and stick to safe small talk, but doing so signals their date that they aren't attracted to her and in turn she doesn't become attracted to them. To have a woman to fall for you, you need to flirt.

In contrast pick up artists make the opposite mistake. They focus too much on flirting, and don't build familarity at which point most women will dismiss them as creepy and only interested in sex (not tha they are wrong about that.)

Women don't want to be desired just for their body but also for their character. A woman wants you to see her for who she is and like her for who she is. This is why premature flirting comes across as fake and too late or too weak flirting will end you in the frienzone.

You have to ramp up your flirting with your familarity. The more you know her and the more she knows you, the bolder you can flirt, and the better you can flirt, because compliments build upon familarity will obviously be better than generic ones.

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So yeah, that's it. Feel free to disagree with me or criticise specific tips.

I mostly wanted to to show that there IS some middle ground between sitting in your room all day and hoping for girls to like you just for being yourself and seeing women as fickle inferior beings that need to be manipulated into sex via pua startegies.

edit:

Many Reds have written in response that this is not really blue and that most Blues wouldn't agree with me. However so far I haven't had any Blues disagree with me on major points so I suspect that's mostly a "no true scottsman".

But yeah, if you identify as blue pill and think some of which I wrote is wrong, please tell me. Seriously, I want to know.