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THEORYSex and power (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor

Everything is about sex except sex, sex is about power.

Men and women are different in almost every way imaginable. From size to strength to stamina to endurance emotions and intelligence, we're different. Thus, our needs, wants and desires are different as well.

Men have what women need and women have what men need. In a balanced world, we compliment each other and live in peace and harmony, love and unity. However, all of that has been greatly upset by the ever changing societal norms brought upon us by feminism. Now we have a war of the sexes which is a detriment to our families and society.

Landlords and tenants

Women own sex and men own commitment. This is due to simple supply and demand economics. Men need sex and women need resources and protection, this is what has always driven men and women to get together. Women give up sex in exchange for resources and protection and men give up resources and protection in exchange for sex.

Needs and deeper needs

On the surface it would seem that men need sex and women only want it when they're ovulating, trying for a baby or smitten by the correct alignment of the stars. Many husbands the world over are perplexed and frustrated by the ever shifting sexual desire of their wives. They conclude that their wives don't need sex as much as they do. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Deep down, women - as the owners of sex - need sex more than men do. Sex the number one type of value a woman offers to a man. Without sex, everything else is meaningless. True, a man looking to marry will also look for other qualities because other qualities are needed in building a family. However, sex is at the core of this relationship. Tell a man that he'll only be getting sex 1-3 times a month and see how fast he jumps into marriage....

A clear example of this can be found in the value that men and women place on sex. To men, sex is like urination. Sure, a nice clean bathroom with beautiful scents is ideal, but when you gotta go, you gotta go and anywhere will do, even the gas station or bushes. Likewise, a man prefers to have sex with a hot woman, but if he just needs to ejaculate, any woman who doesn't disgust him will be good enough. This may also be the reason why men have a much easier time with one night stands, friends with benefits and other arrangements of no strings attached sex. Because sex is like urination. Sure, when you really need to go, that need is real strong, but there isn't much to it beyond relief.

Not so with regards to women. Women want sex to be a whole production of seduction, foreplay, love and romance. To a woman, sex is vulnerability because it taps into a much deeper part of her psyche than that of a man. Her entire value to a man is literally dependant on her sexual value. Thus, sex holds a lot more meaning to her.

In an ideal world

In a balanced world, a woman recognizes that her value to her husband is sexual and this motivates her to be a sexual goddes for him. He in turn knows that his value to her is his resources and protection and he does his part in fulfilling his role. However, this isn't the case today. Today it's okay to "not be in the mood for sex" while it isn't okay for a man to not be in the mood to provide and protect. The game is severely off balance and it isn't up to any of us to fix it on a large scale. What we can do is to bring balance into our own home.

The reason why TRP and MGTOW exist is because life under feminism hasn't been going well for men. Getting married for a man means fulfilling all the traditional male roles while not (heaven forbid) expecting your wife to fulfill her traditional female roles. It's only in traditional female roles such as cooking, cleaning, child rearing and being obligated to fulfill your husband sexually, where we've "progressed" out of the old misogynistic ways.

Conclusion

Women own sex and therefore really need it more than men. Men are waking up to the mistreatment that's been taking place on a grand scale. More and more men are refusing to play the game altogether.

With the advancement of life like, anatomically correct, sex robots + the advancement of artificial wombs, women of the future are bound to become almost irrelevant to most men.

Women today still hold a lot of power because men still need women for sex. Use your power wisely for your own benefit as well as for the benefit of your daughters and granddaughters. Turn back the clock - as much as possible - in your own lives and have happy and healthy families.

Cheers!


[–]XReverenceX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Sex is Physical NEED at the very least for men. It is more importantly a deep rooted psychological and emotional NEED, that most men will rarely admit.

Women love sex. Men cherish sex between a partner he loves (preferably his wife). Woman have power because they CHOOSE whether to bless or curse her man. Bless him and shower him with her body that only HE as a MAN cherishes and adores, OR, Curse him by forsaking his most basic need....

Now, IF a man truly just wanted sex for the physical release, they do have the POWER to take a woman through physical superiority alone.

I know of no man that would ever be satisfied by this arrangement even if it were permitted in society. This is why it goes deeper for men.

When a woman denies a man sex after he has put himself out their, initiated, etc. (regardless of all the reasons why she's justified) there is no real justification if you say at the root of your soul "I love this man."

No one harms someone they love consciously when they KNOW the truth of the situation. Sexual rejection is one of the deepest pains you can experience as a man.

Much of this OP is conveying aspects into the frustration men are facing.

At the end of the day, there is an overwhelming large amount of men denied their own masculinity which is shattering, for reasons to numerous to convey to someone that isn't truly concerned.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

very well said!

Much of this OP is conveying aspects into the frustration men are facing.

And I do so for the express purpose of bringing about positive change in at least one marriage, not to moan, complain or air grievances. I did this knowing that some people will make this about me personally and the state of happiness in my marriage, which is totally irrelevant to the discussion.

Your last four paragraphs are especially poignant.

[–]XReverenceX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Positive change is all that can be hoped for, but it is the awareness that comes first, and even when made aware, choosing then to walk the right path.

I truly want the best for all women, as well as an increase in knowledge, understanding, and wisdom for all on this sub.

Men and woman have the capability to be fierce and vexing enemies as well as deeply connected and Complimentary companions in this thing we call "life."

I desire the later, not the former.

Unity takes work, and harmony does not come free.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely! I share this desire. This is precisely my motivation for participating on this forum.

[–]Spazzy193 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you. But sexual rejection is one of the deepest pains ANYONE can experience. Neither person in a relationship should deny the other sex and affection. I have felt that incredible pain having been married to a sex addict for 10 years and not even being able to have healthy sex life even after we both got help.

In my last relationship I couldn't stop being sexual because he made me so happy.

[–]Cardiscappa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Posting information that may be of use after reading this post:

https://www.avoiceformen.com/men/more-than-an-orgasm/

Sex Starved Husbands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVpV1u6iSvM

For Women Only: https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-about-Inner-Lives/dp/1590523172

[–]plein_old23 points24 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

What does husband of the decade mean? If that is some kind of an award, then congratulations I guess!

women need resources

Women can also get jobs now.

Women give up sex

Yes, though some women really do enjoy sex. I mean, they really, really get into it.

sex robots

omg. Really? I mean whatever turns people on. I personally would much prefer an actual woman, in spite of all the difficulties.

Use your power wisely

Good advice.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I tend to agree with you. Normal men don't want a sex robot. I've seen it repeated on TRP repeatedly and always just figured its guys in the really angry stage of TRP that people have described. Not to mention, the artifical womb tech is probably 70-100 years off from whenever the world decides to let scientists work on human embryos. Then if men do decide to have a robot for sex and a artificial womb, they'll be on their own raising a kid. Isn't it pretty core to TRP that men are not biologically programmed to do all the stuff women do (raising kids ect)

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The idea of someone using a robot for such purposes is... I don't have the words for it. I mean, how would such a person treat other people on the road, or in business? Call me old fashioned but I think sexual love is supposed to teach us about kindness and tenderness and so forth.

If someone wants to have sex with a robot, it seems like they're not too many steps removed from volunteering to get plugged in to one of them virtual reality systems like "Neo" found himself in in the beginning of that Matrix movie.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, how would such a person treat other people on the road, or in business?

How did you reach from point A to point B?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

What does husband of the decade mean?

What it meant to me when I coined the term is - a cheeky way of describing my status as a married man for over a decade. However, many seem to posters agree with this description.

Women can also get jobs now.

Yes they can, but they still expect men to pay for dates, buy them gifts and generally earn more money than they do. Many women quit their jobs if they score a wealthy man.

Which reminds me of one of my first exposures to red pill truths years ago. I was walking to one of the buildings on our local university campus (one of the most prestigious in the nation) when I overheard a girl tell another girl - my real goal is to marry a wealthy guy and have him pay for everything, I'm just more likely to find him here. That's why I go to university. (Yes, I understand this is just an anecdote).

Yes, though some women really do enjoy sex. I mean, they really, really get into it.

That's true. I never said or implied otherwise.

omg. Really? I mean whatever turns people on. I personally would much prefer an actual woman, in spite of all the difficulties.

Well, take a look online. They're already coming out with real life like robots with whom you can actually carry a conversation. Give it a few years and they may be perfected to the point where it would be hard to tell the difference.

But the main point is - it's true that a real woman is better than a robot, but only up to a point. After a certain amount of nagging, criticizing, complaining, cajoling and sexual rejections, the imperfections of a bot may be more appealing to many men. It may never be this way for all Men, but if enough men feel this way, the dynamics will shift tremendously.

[–]Cock_Klepto 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, take a look online. They're already coming out with real life like robots with whom you can actually carry a conversation. Give it a few years and they may be perfected to the point where it would be hard to tell the difference.

You're behind the times. They have Realdolls already, and as a woman who has a fairly extensive collection of sex toys I can already say that there's more that enough out there to replace either sex. Strictly from a physical standpoint men are easily out of the equation already. Emotionally though there's still a way to go, but it's not far off. The first AI to pass the Turing test(according to Google) happened in 2014, and 3 years is a long time technology-wise. So it won't be long before anyone will be able to get some fulfillment emotionally/socially from something they can't even tell isn't human. The future is going to hit hard for both sexes.

[–]lgastako1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As an aside, there's no "official" turing test as far as I know, but I think the closet thing is probably the Loebner Prize which was first won in 1991... but no one has claimed the "big prizes" that actually involve humans not being able to tell that a computer is a computer in any meaningful way.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Good point. However, the key difference between men and women is that women fear being alone way more than men do. The older a man becomes, the more he's likely to be just fine alone. The older a woman becomes.... Well... the stereotypical cat lady has cats because she needs company and if she can't have human company, she'll at least have cats. Will a robot be able to fill that need for females on the same scale it does for males? I doubt it, but who knows... time will tell.

[–]Spazzy195 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again, you're using blanket generalizations. What are you basing this claim off? Females don't need robots or cats necessarily if a man isn't around...there are people called friends and family.

[–]ivegotsomequestions01 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If they make a robot so advanced that men are able to have intelligent, varied conversations with it, feel like it has its own personality, and suspend disbelief and imagine that it actually loves them, then women might be obsolete to lots of men. At that point though, they should be able to make a male robot for women that can do all the same things and maybe even "earn money" by hiring out its intelligence, so that she doesn't feel like she's the provider. It could also be programmed to exhibit the dominance and masculinity that so many men struggle with. Virtual companions have the potential to just be better across the board than flesh ones.

Will it come to that? ...Um, it's hard to imagine such a drastic shift. If it did, though, it would mean that the value flesh and blood men add as companions is simply not worth whatever it takes to keep them around, for women.

It would also be amusing if our sex companions ended up overthrowing us and taking over the earth!

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At that point though, they should be able to make a male robot for women that can do all the same things and maybe even "earn money" by hiring out its intelligence, so that she doesn't feel like she's the provider. It could also be programmed to exhibit the dominance and masculinity that so many men struggle with.

This is why women are way more likely to become obsolete to men than men to women. Because what men need from women is fairly simple and therefore much easier to have a robot do.

[–]Cock_Klepto 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Will a robot be able to fill that need for females on the same scale it does for males?

So this statement to me suggests that you don't know what the Turing test is. This is a test given to AI where the object is to see if a human can tell if the other 'person' is a human or not. Passing it means that the AI was able to act/react/respond as a human does and the testers were unable to tell it was in fact a robot. This is a huge accomplishment.

That said, yes, a robot will absolutely be able to fill that role. Better than a human as well and the implications are staggering. There'd no longer be need for arguments/conflict, and with active learning a robot could make itself the perfect companion tailored to the individual. Networking with real people will be easier too, just get your AI companion to do it for you, to parse all the information from their online presence and find people similar to you. Frankly I think when this wave hits there's going to be a huge shift in society and the interaction between people as a whole. So yes, men, and women for that matter, are completely replaceable by AI like this. Depending on the person it could very well be preferable as well.

[–]MetalDevils 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Robot companionship will always appeal more to men than to women, even with ones that can pass the Turing test. A woman's passion and interest depends a lot on the man's accomplishment, his personality and dominance. A female robot just has to be pleasant, clean, and have sex anytime he feels like it, however he wants it.

A robot can't be a rugged cowboy or a successful CEO...even if a robot could impersonate specific traits women know it wouldn't be real. A robot can't be dragged into parties and in front of friends and make them envious. Until such a time that robots hold the same status as humans, and have their own free will, and can work and make money etc...women won't turn to them in significant numbers. Meanwhile, men are already using and showing tremendous interest in simulated sex. In truth, women already have the only kind of 'robot' sex they need in the form of sex toys.

I agree that new technology will shift the field. Women are only just starting to realize that their value has been depreciated thanks to how easy it is for men to now get sex via random hookups. What women have yet to realize is that the inevitable line of VR coupled with robots, and other technological options are going to make men even less interested in dealing with normal dating.

In Japan, the birthrate has continued to decline. On top of that, there's a word for the young men that are essentially 'opting out' of the dating world all together. I don't remember what that word is at the moment.

[–]Cock_Klepto 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

women won't turn to them in significant numbers.

Not for serious romantic relationships maybe, but for companionship absolutely. As time goes on there's more and more career oriented women(like it or not) and a lot of them don't have much time for the other sex. If you've got the money for a companion like that though I don't see how anyone would turn that down. I think once the cost goes down they're going to be as commonplace as cell phones, and be just as much, if not more varied. Assuming we don't have a massive war before this all happens and seriously set ourselves back.

As they get more advanced people will be showing them off. Not as a they would a husband, but like some do with anything fancy that costs money. Status symbols. Mods and programming are going to be staggering and there's no way people will be able to resist not flaunting what they've got.

women know it wouldn't be real.

Doesn't matter if it feels real. Look at all the women that get suckered into pump and dump relationships and fooled into thinking there's some 'spark' and tear themselves to pieces over something that didn't exist in the first place.

There will be some significant shifts in the future, and they are going to make things even more difficult for women to date than it already is today.

All the more reason to get an AI companion to help tide you over or help possibly find a match for you. Having a computer that powerful actively searching for a compatible person for you would make a lot of things easier. I'm much more worried how this is going to affect privacy/privacy laws and what kind of infrastructure these AI would be connected to. They'd be much more useful connected to a network, but when you've got something like that always on...

[–]Waterboo20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, the robot probably will be able to fill that social need for a woman. If a robot is to act like a human, it will be trained to socialize, not just to have sex 🙄 you think as a man, you will somehow have an advantage over women in the future? you probably won't..Sorry

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting.

[–]lord-denning9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is a simplistic analysis. Many women can and do act on short term desires without a whole production; certainly they are freer to act on those drives now than they have been in the past.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] -5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Many women between the ages of 15-25, during the better half of their menstruation cycle, in the perfect setting of party/booze/hot dude/whatever.

So I guess you're right.

[–]Spazzy197 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I disagree. You claim I'm an exception, but what are you basing this assumption off? How many women have you engaged in conversation about their sex lives and preferences?

[–]daisyskirt194 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I mean this in a neutral way--- For a married man of 10 years, you spend A LOT of time on RPW.

I'm hoping your wife doesn't think you're too involved with your screen?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol!

I'm glad that at least someone is tracking the amount of time I spend here.

[–]ivegotsomequestions04 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The thrust of this is good advice. Id add that there needs to be an exchange of affection, such that he's not fucking her with no care for her enjoyment, and she's not using his resources without a thought to doing it wisely and carefully.

Ideally, it doesn't feel like a sex for money exchange, because both parties enjoy fucking each other, and both bring either resources or excellent care for him and his children. But because in the general run of things he will likely end up wanting more sex and contributing more stuff and services, that exchange is how it is likely to play out.

My spouse and I both earn, I don't need his resources, so I'd say that the reason I'll give a bj or have sex when I'm not in the mood is actually to keep his love and companionship for the long haul. Still an exchange, though.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Id add that there needs to be an exchange of affection, such that he's not fucking her with no care for her enjoyment, and she's not using his resources without a thought to doing it wisely and carefully.

Yes, of course. These are things I covered in some of my previous posts.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I remember having a conversation with my ex after she denied me sex. It went something like:

Her: sometimes I just don't want to have sex, ok?

//Believe me, in the moments before, she was definitely into it but suddenly snapped and pushed me away

Me: Uhh??? what? hmm, alright. Well maybe find your own way to school today.

//Casually got up and started getting dressed

Her: What the fuck! how can you do this to me! it's my body and I decide when I want to have sex!

//remember this is after her working me up to a raging hard-on and then turning herself off like a switch.

Me: Well, I own my car and I decide who rides in it.

I was utterly perplexed how she failed to make that connection. We are both in control of something the other person wants and benefits from, yet she can deny her's free and clear and I can't? Sorry baby, there's the door.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me: Well, I own my car and I decide who rides in it.

Good job pal! Played that like a pro. OTOH, if you have to play such games, is it even worth it?

remember this is after her working me up to a raging hard-on and then turning herself off like a switch.

This is class A cruelty. There should be no room for this in a relationship. People who do this don't deserve their partners. They deserve to die alone and lonely. Plain and simple. This is the mother of all deal-breakers. If you're not in the mood, don't tease. If you tease, get yourself in the mood. You can't have it both ways.

[–]aussiedog20171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women tend to work men up to the point where they can deny sex to prove that her man needs her more than she needs him. However, I think you handed her perfectly, the power to be generous swings both ways.

[–]MrsMandelbrot[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

NOW we have a war of the sexes? That didn't start with feminism.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A phrase comes to mind "She is never really yours, it's just your turn".

Men do not trust women and rightfully so. Women lie.

When a truly devoted man gives his all, he is all in. Yet, when most women sniff weakness or boredom, this society tells them they 'deserve better' and that it is 'their right' to do whatever it is to make themselves happy and blame men for it.

Sex is not power. Fidelity is.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex is not power. Fidelity is.

Huh? You had me until this line.

I didn't say that sex was power. I said that sex is about power. Meaning, sex is used to exert power.

[–]Spazzy194 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I've personally never dated a guy who could keep up with me, and that's been frustrating. However, I respected their level of intimacy and they tried to meet my needs to the best of their abilities.

It wasn't for lack of desire to spend time with me or because they weren't pleased with me, but rather they just could suffice with 1-3 times per week whereas I'd be down for 6+ times per week.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] -3 points-2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

The exception doesn't disprove the rule.

Also if I may ask, how old are you? Do you have children? Are you in a LTR?

I ask this because the sky-high libido of many women like you has dropped of the cliff once they were secure in their relationship and/or got a bit older and/or had a baby.

[–]Spazzy196 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I understand that, yet many of my female friends (with and without children) have indicated they're in the same boat.

I'm 33, no kids, and currently single (4 months) for the first time since I was 17 and have been in 3 long term relationships including my 10 yr marriage. I've had a drive since I was a child and discovered masturbation. I prefer a partner, but with or without, I keep myself satiated.

I just think the post is too simplistic and quick to lay blame at a woman's feet as to why men won't marry us. Are there women that withhold sex as a power game? Absolutely! Are there women that withhold sex because they no longer feel valued by their partners? Yes! Does it make it right? No. But the latter bunch didn't happen overnight either. Both partners contributed to that point, but I acknowledge that she'll likely have to make the concession and stop withholding affection in order to rekindle the marriage. Both partners will need to make concessions.

Another recent post discussed money and how that's another reason men are wary to marry women (unless she bears him children). While I get why they have that mentality, I also think it's a cop out. Women do work for the most part these days (is this the female version of "sex robots" making the need for men obsolete?), but I personally think it's more important to be with someone you trust financially. Without a pre-nup!

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I just think the post is too simplistic and quick to lay blame at a woman's feet as to why men won't marry us.

Whether it's simplistic or not is irrelevant, what is relevant is whether my points are correct or incorrect. What you said in many words is that you disagree, not why you disagree. You also haven't offered any counter arguments or explanations.

Another recent post discussed money and how that's another reason men are wary to marry women (unless she bears him children).

Are you referring to my last post before this one?

but I personally think it's more important to be with someone you trust financially. Without a pre-nup!

That's easy for you to say as a woman who has the courts and most of society on your side. Chances are, divorce would mean payday for you via alimony and possibly child support (if you have children), in addition to your share of the assets which he probably paid into more than you did. This may or may not fit you specifically but that doesn't matter, this picture does describe a very large percentage of divorces in western civilization. Men stand to lose a lot in divorce.

A person may be in love with you now and have the best of intentions and the strongest moral code. They may truly believe that they'd never ever screw you over that way and at this moment, they're telling the truth. However, what happens when you have a falling out? Who's to guarantee that they won't screw you over then?

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Women today have near absolute power in divorce courts, rape and abuse accusations and other areas of marriage. This is why it's absolutely insane for a man to enter marriage without a prenup. Even with a prenup, it isn't that great of a deal for the man. Without one is financial suicide.

[–]Spazzy197 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I thought your points were fairly valid until the half part of your "ideal world" and your entire conclusion.

MY point is that you're completely ignoring the male impact of why a woman might seek to withhold sex (but I agree that it's not something that should be used as a weapon). Then you basically say "shape up, ladies... With technology developing we're just going to ditch you entirely for sex and children!" I find that quite amusing because it's just a whiny retaliatory remark in my opinion.

Most women do want kids, so what's there to stop them from looking at artificial wombs themselves? They're not just for men to use. Oh no, a guy might use a sex robot for his "urinal sex needs" instead of a woman because men want that power back ... let's show women now!" Uhh, ok! Vibrators exist already and generally they're more likely to sexually satisfy!

So what? It just ends up turning into a pissing contest and sows distrust. Who, male or female, wants to be in a relationship with anyone they don't trust? Yes, people change and may have the best intentions when they get married or into a relationship, but if you continue to treat each other with respect, the likelihood of being screwed over decreases.

I went through a divorce last year. It was so amicable he wouldn't let me pay for half of the $384 it cost, and the reasons for the split would typically throw people into flying rages. We split our home equity equally. Not once was there a discussion about taking each other's retirement or alimony. I joke that his alimony to me is me continuing to use his Netflix account. It's less cumbersome because we didn't have kids, but I don't want to experience it again. I made more money than him for the majority of our marriage, and eventually I'm going to receive a chunk of change. Prenups aren't just for men, and I still maintain if you place your fear of losing money over loving your partner and trusting them, then you shouldn't be in a marriage at all. I certainly find that mentality extremely unattractive.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

MY point is that you're completely ignoring the male impact of why a woman might seek to withhold sex

Please do tell.

As a general rule, I give practical advice. On a women's forum, it's futile to complain about where men went wrong. It's way more productive to point out what you can change for the better.

[–]Spazzy199 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For the record I'm not down voting you.

In any case, you may give practical advice on a woman's forum, but what you could change for the better is to avoid offending them by acting like you know how all women are and behave just because you've been burned before. And then I'd avoid coming across as patronizing as if this group doesn't already know how they want to raise their daughters.

Why would a woman not desire to have sex with her husband? If he's abusive, if he neglects his marital obligations, if he's having an affair, if he takes her for granted... There are a host of reasons why a woman becomes emotionally closed off, or she could just be exhausted or sick. I'll go out on a limb and say there are more relationship-dynamic reasons (which includes the guy) which result in lack of affection than women just being power hungry bitches who are hell bent on making their spouses suffer and bend to them.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In any case, you may give practical advice on a woman's forum, but what you could change for the better is to avoid offending them by acting like you know how all women are and behave

TRP is about understanding the truth about human nature in general and as it relates to inter-gender relationships in particular. The truth isn't always easy to accept. That's why I'm being downvoted. It's okay. It won't faze me from stating my opinion. If you or anyone else wants to dispute anything I say, I'm always open for discussion. However, the fact that someone is offended isn't a good argument. Someone will be offended by almost anything you say, but that doesn't invalidate the argument. Only a good counter argument can do that.

Why would a woman not desire to have sex with her husband? If he's abusive, if he neglects his marital obligations, if he's having an affair, if he takes her for granted... There are a host of reasons why a woman becomes emotionally closed off, or she could just be exhausted or sick. I'll go out on a limb and say there are more relationship-dynamic reasons (which includes the guy) which result in lack of affection than women just being power hungry bitches who are hell bent on making their spouses suffer and bend to them

Are you saying that being nice and treating your woman well will result in more sex?

I think you should expand this paragraph into a full - well thought out and we'll articulated - post.

[–]Cock_Klepto 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I guess that makes me another exception. I'm married, with the same guy for 5+ years and I'm much the same. He's happy with 1-3/week whereas I'm left to handle myself the rest of the time.

I'd also argue that most those women who's libidos seem to take a nosedive were just women faking it to catch the man. Female culture encourages that kind of behavior and I've yet to really see an unattached man that it not only didn't work with, or that seriously turned that type of attention down.

[–]Wissenschaft856 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men are terrible at reading women and most certainly can't tell when women are faking it. Most men are confused by female emotional expression period.

Everyones libido is different. Plenty of guys will be happy with 1-3/week. Sex itself is just a pleasure to a man. If any intimacy is to be apart of it, it has to be something the women helps add. Sex just for obligation (we haven't had sex for a while, we should do it) is never as fulfilling as sex from urgency, fear, anger, strong romantic response, etc.

A lot of women expect all the romance and intimacy to be the mans responsibility and do little to nothing to get themselves in the mood. Once they are not in the mood, nothing the man does will work and yet the woman will not do anything herself. Oh but she will complain that her man can't get her in the mood anymore.

Intimacy, like romance, takes two people. A woman who does nothing to maintain either will get nothing in response.

[–]XReverenceX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Thank you for making this excellent point.

It takes two. There is responsibility on both sides to cultivate share and MAINTAIN a healthy sexual dynamic.

So often in marriage the sexual relationship at some point gets off kilter and there are many factors on both sides which cause this. There however is a high responsibility on women to make effort into investing themselves sexually into their husbands or LTR's.

It takes work to keep intimacy and harmony in a relationship. Honor, Compassion, Forgiveness, Respect, Communication, and attitude of Humility, and many other things.

Without these things sexual relations begin breaking down, and when this occurs, it is in no way a good sign, and quite quickly can lead down a path of serious suffering.

[–]Wissenschaft852 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Let me add that the reason why women are responsible for sex is because they are the gatekeepers of sex. Whenever they say no their man must obey or its rape. His only recourse is to LEAVE. That is why denying sex to your man is so dangerous. You are telling him either to leave or to be submissive. Neither of which will make you happy.

If for whatever reason you really can't have sex (your sick) then you should plan to make it up to your husband. Not because your obligated but because it puts you in the right mind set. No matter how long you have been together you should still feel the urge to fight for your mans attention. For his love. Never take it for granted. If you fight for his affection he will respond in kind.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

While I don't disagree with the core meaning behind this: that women should embrace their husband's sex drives, I do disagree with a lot of the initial statements.

Men and women have almost no difference in intelligence. On IQ tests, they are with 2.5 points of each other. In the most recent IQ studies in several nations researchers found, "Setting the male score at 100, Flynn found that women scored the lowest in Australia (99.5), but in the other 4 nations Raven's scores varied from 100.5 to 101.5" That is within the error of the test. The reason it says setting men at 100 is that the IQ test works on a bell curve and you're comparing two groups.

I think constantly saying one group is smarter than the other hurts both sexes and makes it more confusing to discuss the realities of how we have evolved to this point.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I do disagree with a lot of the initial statements.

What do you disagree with and why?

I think constantly saying one group is smarter than the other hurts both sexes and makes it more confusing to discuss the realities of how we have evolved to this point.

Where did I write anything about men or women being smarter or dumber?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I disagreed with the part about saying men and women have different brains/intelligence, and then I posted about why I disagreed with that. You said they have different intelligence. I don't know how to do the handy quote things you've got going on, but I'm sure those would have made that easier. Sorry, I'm new to Reddit.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's an option below your comment that has all the formatting help. To quote, place the forward arrow > then the quoted part. Then your remarks in the next paragraph. It'll look like this.

quote

In any case, quote what I said that you find objectionable and explain why you think it's objectionable. I can't reply to you paraphrasing my words.

This post isn't about the difference in intelligence, so I won't reply to such objections in this post. That's a different topic for a different day. If you wish to discuss it with me, you can pm me. In short - men and women have different types of intelligence and different distributions of intelligence. No, we aren't the same at all. This has been proven.

[–]aussiedog20171 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an excellent piece. And it is incredibly relevant to my relationship with my SO.

I think women don't notice the power of sex as a release for men. My SO has been going through a rough time; when I am available sexually for him, his mood lightens and it eases his stress. Sex is an excellent tool for reducing stress (http://www.nbcnews.com/id/28146086/ns/health-mental_health/t/more-sex-less-stress/).

As far as being available for him, there are times when I'm as eager to engage. Instead of rejecting him, I usually treat him to a bj and get myself mentally in the mood to make love. By the time he starts warming me up, I am more than happy to have sex with him.

Thank you for this post, it's an excellent reminder of the importance of being sexually available for your SO.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think women don't notice the power of sex as a release for men. My SO has been going through a rough time; when I am available sexually for him, his mood lightens and it eases his stress. Sex is an excellent tool for reducing stress

Ding ding ding ding ding!!!!!

As far as being available for him, there are times when I'm as eager to engage. Instead of rejecting him, I usually treat him to a bj and get myself mentally in the mood to make love. By the time he starts warming me up, I am more than happy to have sex with him.

You're a wise woman!

Thank you for your input!

[–]aussiedog20171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad to have something to contribute! The article I linked is from a women's perspective, and it includes some gems (like this one below) about the benefits for women as well. There is no substitute for sexual intercourse.

"Self-pleasuring and other substitutes didn’t offer the blood pressure–leveling punch of actually doing it. For women, sexual intercourse triggered key nerves in the vagina and cervix, was psychologically satisfying and released calming hormones in the brain, more so than any other sex play did—factors that added up to lowered blood pressure. 'Intercourse specifically is linked to better psychological and physical health,' Brody says."

[–]oasie 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

With the advancement of life like, anatomically correct, sex robots + the advancement of artificial wombs, women of the future are bound to become almost irrelevant to most men.

I can't agree with this, because of the words in the Bible where God says, for the first time ever, "It was not good."

This is what he says after he makes Adam...and the garden...and everything else is good. Except that Adam is alone.

Women are so much more than sex.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're quoting the beginning of the verse while conveniently leaving out the end of the verse where G-d concludes that he will make a helper for Adam. If anything, that verse proves that women aren't only for sex, but also for helping around the house, in the yard or wherever else her husband may need her.

And this comes on the heels of Adam trying out sex with every living creature first and still being unsatisfied. That's when G-d says "it's not good for man to be alone, let me make a helper to be with him". This is why after having sex with his wife, Adam exclaims "this time, it is a bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh". He says this time because he first tried it with every other type of flesh that wasn't his own.

[–]xereeto 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Women give up sex in exchange for resources

yeah no

women enjoy sex as much as men do, but society shames them for it

Her entire value to a man is literally dependant on her sexual value.

bull and shit

Women need resources

this isn't caveman times retard, women can provide for themselves

In a balanced world, a woman recognizes that her value to her husband is sexual and this motivates her to be a sexual goddes for him.

so basically woman's role in life is to be a sex object

is this really what you want for your daughter? you don't want her to grow and be independent and fulfil her dreams... you want her to be a 'sexual goddess' for a man? you make me sick.

it isn't okay for a man to not be in the mood to provide and protect.

literally nothing could be further from the truth, ever heard of stay at home dads and dual income couples? gender roles are falling for men and women, and social stigma is disappearing with them.

With the advancement of life like, anatomically correct, sex robots + the advancement of artificial wombs, women of the future are bound to become almost irrelevant to most men.

except for, you know, their value as human beings

what the fuck is wrong with you people jfc

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

women enjoy sex as much as men do, but society shames them for it

Nowhere did I say that women can't/don't enjoy sex. You're putting words in my mouth.

bull and shit

That's not a counter-argument.

this isn't caveman times retard, women can provide for themselves

They can, but don't want to. The overwhelming majority of LTR's have the man earning more money. The instances where the man earns less, there's a higher risk of the woman losing respect for him.

No need for name-calling.

so basically woman's role in life is to be a sex object

Again you're putting words in my mouth. I wrote about sex being the primary (but not only) value to men. I didn't address the issue of life purpose.

stay at home dads

You mean the ones who their wives won't have sex with? The ones who are more likely to cheat? The ones who are more likely to divorce? And have many other marital and personal issues?

except for, you know, their value as human beings what the fuck is wrong with you people jfc

Modern western women are generally entitled princesses who nag, complain, cajole, threaten, pout, make demands etc etc etc. From a cost/benefit analysis, robots may have more benefits than disrespectful humans.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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