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I was at the gym today and was having some trouble setting up the equipment - the pins on some of the benches/racks have been slightly bent out of shape from use and so it takes a fair amount of banging around on them to get them to move sometimes. Both times two guys emerged out of nowhere to help me. The first guy didn't say a single word or make any eye contact and just walked away after (presumably because he didn't want to be "that guy" haha) and the other one was friendly and then just went back to his business. I was very grateful for their help and was thinking about how nice it is that we live in a world where men actually want to help us since it makes them feel good. It makes me feel like no matter what there will most likely be someone out there who will want to assist me if I'm in need and that's an amazing privilege to have. For a long time, I was annoyed by the guys around me for being so sex-driven - I hated having random guys stare at me, make creepy comments, or attempt to touch me. But today I am very grateful for the male species and appreciate that they feel this instinctual urge to protect or help a woman in need. These two guys clearly wanted to help just for the sake of it, since neither of them attempted to chat me up and I am very thankful for that. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!


[–]VioletNoRegard37 points38 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. I was going into a doctors office a couple days ago when I smiled at an elderly man who was leaving while I was walking in. He smiled back and said "Hi gal, thank you for that smile!" Men spend their lives helping us out so much that many women have forgotten to just be decent pleasant individuals. To the point where this man thanked me just for smiling.

[–]Ariel12512 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yup, when I was at the dentist an elderly man was coming out of the door, he held it for me and said, "beauty before age!". He had the biggest smile on his face. I looked him in the eye and smiled, said thank you. I'm sure it made his day (it made mine, too!)

[–]unixygirl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

haha that's really sweet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Elderly are the exception :) sweet.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So I get to be creepy when I get old and the ladies will love it.... good deal!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, indeed! I work at a retirement home and some of my favorite residents are the men. They are always so sweet and funny, unlike their female counterparts who tend to sour with age.

[–]CrimsonMoonz25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I walked by a mailman who had a ton of amazon packages in his sack and I thought about how much harder it is on them these days. And so I thanked him for all of his hard work and he really appreciated it. I'm male and so was he.

This is an even greater reminder for females to support each other too. These random acts of kindness aren't solely a male-driven phenomenon, it is a human phenomenon. And we must all take the time to pause ourselves and appreciate what others have contributed to help shape our daily lives.

[–]Luckylancer9613 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This <3 vs "But you are not damsel in distress. You are a independent women who dont need men. Their help project their patriarchy!"

Hmm, i hate feminists.

[–]XReverenceX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

There is something here.

Men thoroughly enjoy the feeling of helping women, as humans in general get a small sense of satisfaction from helping someone else as well., however there is a more consistency you see with the willingness of Man to help Woman.

If a woman is attractive especially, and asks for a mans help and/or makes it clear she "needs" his help, he will derive a great sense of satisfaction from the interaction even if it goes nowhere else between the two (which is usually the case) other than a kind and gracious "thank you so much."

By allowing men to HELP, you are giving them a temporary purpose. Men need and love purpose, and they CHERISH those women in their lives who give them purpose.

Investment is what leads to love for a man. Be a woman that he can invest in and he will love you.

OP, your insight is so good and your positive attitude towards this amazing. So many woman today scoff at wanting or needing help from men, and if they do actually need it and receive it have such a rotten and unthankful heart.

The essence of femininity is grace and receptivity.

[–]labelleindifference1 Star[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, my original intent in writing this post came out of the desire to appreciate that men have this built-in need to assist women around them. Of course, nothing is black and white and when it comes to gendered motivations the idea of sex is usually in play, but I think in general men are taught to physically protect women and I am grateful for that. Looking forward to the day that I meet someone with whom I can build the type of relationship that you're describing! Men provide physical security and women provide emotional security, tasty food, and a comfortable home - it's a pretty equal and wonderful exchange when it's balanced and done appropriately.

[–]unixygirl9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is so well observed.

I try to always thank guys when they hold the door for me, even though it's such a simple thing, I want them to know it's appreciated.

A more relevant story though is my car once broke down in a busy intersection and I stepped out obviously panicked. Two guys jumped out of their truck, told me to get back inside and steer, and they pushed me to safety!

[–]labelleindifference1 Star[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I really think it's so amazing that guys are so eager to help. Of course they do it because we're women, but that doesn't always mean they're trying to get in your pants as it was implied elsewhere in this thread. Maybe most of the time, but not always, and not in the case of what happened yesterday. I hope that other people reading this will trust that I have enough life experience to know the difference.

As a side note, in public I always let other women go ahead of me, open doors for them, push the buttons in the elevator for them, etc. And some of them are really quite entitled or completely lack manners - they'll gesture for me to do something for them or forget to say thank you afterwards. I understand why guys see women as entitled or stuck-up sometimes.

[–]Breatheinprawna1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It is such a blessing. We need to appreciate men more.

[–]beclearco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate women very much. And for every 1 nasty woman I meet, I seek (and usually do) to find 10 lovely ones.

I appreciate you women on here especially. It is really lovey to see such a community. :)

[–]LaurelWoods931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember a few months ago, trying to load a few bags of mulch into my trunk. Though they weren't too heavy for me, I was having a rough go because they're awkward to hold. A nice man walked up and loaded them up almost immediately without a word and even put my big cart away. I thanked him and smiled and he as well, then he walked away .With the way feminists have belittled men as a group for so long, I can only imagine how much strength it takes to still be civil to women. But it makes me happy they are willing to go out of their way in this day and age.

[–]pinkdrawings0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Guys are so willing to help. I've had three different incidents with cars + guys helping. Every time - a guy as helped. Once - these two different men (different cars, didn't appear to know each other) COMPLETELY went out of their way. They went above and beyond trying to do their best to help, and even show me how to jump start a car so I knew how.

Even a man who was clearly more..girly and didn't seem to know much about cars at least made the effort to give me an attempt at advice. It isn't even that I'm just ~ so pretty that they wanna help. I'm really not. They were just all very willing to help me out.

Even once when it came to a simple thing like me overfilling my tire with air and not being sure how to let it out lol.

[–]labelleindifference1 Star[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, men are way more willing to help in general. I think I had one woman stop to help me put my luggage away in an overhead bin on a flight once (I'm 5'1 so I couldn't reach!) and afterward she kind of laughed to herself like, "I can't believe I just helped someone put their luggage away." Haha. I was still very appreciative of her help since I really couldn't do it on my own, but it just speaks to how much women are used to be taken care of in this way.

Yesterday was proof to me that gentlemen still exist. Whether or not they thought about the interaction sexually later is not my business in my opinion - they didn't act on it nor did they intend to. One even went out of his way to make it clear that it wasn't sexual by completely avoiding eye contact. I even took out my earbud to say thanks but he didn't look up at all.

Generally, I've found that the good guys are very aware that it's impolite to approach a woman who's at the gym. That isn't to say that creeps don't exist. Just that I think that it's important to not write all men off as sexually motivated when they try to help. I see that as just discouraging men from being helpful or from being gentlemen; and while I think it's wise to be realistic, I also think it's more productive to acknowledge when people are actually being good people.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie-5 points-4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I hate to burst your bubble, but that help then walk away is a RP pickup tactic.

[–]labelleindifference1 Star[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This implies that any time a man talks to me, whether he compliments me, helps me with something, or insults me, he is attempting an RP pickup tactic, seeing as how they can all be considered pickup lines. Certainly this may be true in some cases, but I doubt it is true in all, and perhaps I'm thinking too much of myself but I'd like to think I am smart enough to know the difference. :) Thank you kindly for your opinion though.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This implies that any time a man talks to me, whether he compliments me, helps me with something, or insults me, he is attempting an RP pickup tactic

Depressing to admit that but.... yup. Thats about it.

[–]paul-wizard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's also a gym thing tbh

There's a comraderie aspect about people doing powerlifts. Also NOBODY wants to be interuppted or chat during a workout.

[–]beclearco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Entirely bs.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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