Disclaimer: English is not my first language, sorry in advance for any mistakes I make.
I was going to reply to a recent post about dealing with depression but I cant find it anymore so I decided to make a post about it.
I´ve had depression and anxiety for 5 years. It played a huge part on the ending of the relationship with my ex. We were together for 9 years, we lived together and I thought that we would grow old together but I didn't know how to handle my feelings and he took the toll on it. A few months after the breakup I was doing even worse until one day I didn't want to live anymore.
In my case, depression manifests in the form of apathy. I don't care if I don't shower for 5 days or if the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes. I feel total apathy towards life itself. I don't care about the future, I don´t care about my job, I don't care about anything. Then the anxiety kicks off and I have a panic attack about how I´m a loser that no one will love ever again. You can imagine how fun of a ride it is /s.
Taking the steps to getting better is not easy as you feel total apathy about it. What made me call a therapist and make an appointment was thinking that if I was going to kill myself eventually might as well try antidepressants first and if they didn't work I could always commit suicide.
I am a whole different person now, Im still on medication (and I believe I will be on it for a long long time) but now I have the motivation to improve myself and create the life I want. I hope this helps anyone that is going through a similar situation.
Find the right therapist for you
I went to five different therapist until I found the perfect one for me. He was my professor in college and he is the smartest man I´ve ever met. I like his style as he has this way to make you be completely honest with yourself. We are all different and every therapist has their own personality, you will find the best results if you find the right therapist for you. It helps that I have a diploma in psychology so I knew about the different types of therapist there are, if you want to see one I recommend to first check their areas of specialty and read about them to see if that is what you need.
Don´t be afraid of medication
Mental illness still is a very taboo concept for a lot of people so many of them don't even consider taking meds. As my therapist explained “Antidepressants will help you make decisiones without putting your emotions first” and they did. It is not like im an emotionless robot but it does makes me have my emotions under control. I don't care if I have to take meds for the rest of my life, I don't ever want to feel as I felt when I was at my lowest. Antidepressants make me want to live my life and that is awesome.
Get a support network
Talking with my closest friends about my struggles made them to open up to me and them revealing that they are also struggling with both depression and anxiety. We have a group chat where we post whenever we are having a bad day and the others help us to get through it. Right now we are planning a viking funeral for one of my friend´s cat.
Work on all the areas of your life
My doctor has an approach towards treatment that I really like. It is similar to what life coaches do with their clients. He makes emphasis on the fact that medication is only 50% of your path to healing, you also have to work on different areas of your life. With every prescription he makes you work on these:
*Food: You need to eat healthy and “pretty”. You have to set the table, maybe put some flowers and sit down to eat your food. You should also eat every meal with the company of someone. Drink plenty of water.
*Exercise: At least 30min everyday, better if they are group classes or outdoors activities.
*Sleep: Have good sleep hygiene, sleep at least 7hrs every night, no electronics and no food 1 hour before bed.
*Career: Learn to love the job you have or have a job you love. Whatever you do, give your best on it.
*Education: You need to be always learning something new. Take a class of whatever subject you would like to learn, even if you have never had an interested on it. You might get surprised about the outcome.
*Home: Live pretty. Make your bed every morning, wash the dishes every night and stop leaving your clothes on the floor or a chair.
*Social life: You have to go out with friends at least once a week. If you have a partner, include weekly dates with them on your schedule.
*Spirituality: Have a connection with whatever higher being you believe in, work on it everyday.
*Set attainable goals: Reaching a goal you set for yourself gives you a sense of self worth and give you a self esteem boost. Don't leave your projects unfinished, always try your best.
Alternative therapies
You can also take advantage of alternative therapies like aromatherapy, acupuncture and the like. I really like the essential oils from DoTerra (the one called Balance makes me sleep like a baby).
Get a pet
Pets are awesome! Pets help you take your mind out of your dark thoughts. I cant imagine my life without my furry babies.
There is no magic button that gets you out of depression with one push, but these are steps you can take that will help you get out of it gradually. Don´t give up on your road to healing, there are always new options you can try. Remember that life isn't static, you can always change your goals until you find your path.
To anyone that is struggling with mental illness, feel free to PM me. I´m always open to chat if you need to talk about it. When I was at my lowest I didn't want to talk about it as I felt that I was bothering my friends with my issues. I promise that I won't be bother if it helps you
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