Red Pill ExampleGirls, If You're Physically Unavailable I'm Emotionally Unavailable (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

This is a response post to teeelo's previous post of not mentioning the red pill IRL. I thought this video was interesting because it spills a lot of redpill truths to a younger demographic (including myself), without revealing the sub itself. This guy is a youtuber who pranks people on his main channel, but on his personal channel he seems to drop a lot of rp truths. Either way I wanted to link it to show a way that we can drop truths to guys more subtly.



[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Holy Shit I needed this. I didn't have the words for "physically unavailable, emotionally unavailable." Going through this right now with a girl. This sub is like the first gasp of air after having your head held underwater.

[–]bazwalt 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Great isn't it? I'm still a learning BP making my way to RP. Mostly faking it till I make it for now.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've had tons of success and tons of failure. I never understood WHY I was successful or WHY I failed in the past. This sub has helped me understand. Every time I was successful (in terms of women) was because I was busy with something other than the girl. Every time I failed it was because I was way too available (physically and emotionally).

What I'm working on now, and my biggest failure of 2014, is my ego. Stand up comedians have a saying that goes "You're only as good as your next show." I need to understand my past success (with women and life) has nothing to do with my future success and I need to stop taking failure so personally, because the world doesn't give a fuck if I sink or swim, only I do.

[–]_social_caterpillar 163 points164 points  (23 children)

This is something that is slowly sinking in for me. I have a right to be emotionally unavailable. Doing so does not make me a bad or mean person.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 76 points77 points  (17 children)

Funny how hard that is to internalize, though, isn't it?

[–]_social_caterpillar 54 points55 points  (14 children)

Yeah it definitely takes practice. I just broke up with a girl and she's giving me the whole shpiel about how much I am hurting her and how much pain I'm causing her, etc. It does pull at me, but I am using this experience to learn that I am not responsible for the world's suffering. And it's stupid to make myself suffer to spare someone else some pain. I am not a martyr. I can have empathy for her suffering, but I do not necessarily need to have sympathy, as distinguished here: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/12/what-to-do-about-the-worlds-suffering/

[–]redpilltom 26 points27 points  (2 children)

It's funny. If a woman berates you for being emotionally unavailable and hurting her by not wanting to be with her, you're a jerk and her feelings are completely legitimized. But if a man even shows the slightest resentment towards a woman being physically unavailable towards him, he's fucking entitled Elliot Rodgers piece of shit.

[–]Kyuzo_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's the feminine imperative in a nutshell

[–]ROIVeritas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This my friend, is because toxic paradoxical hypocrisy is validated and perpetuated by those aching, spineless sycophants.

Men are supposed to get punched in the face with the gloves of rejection, the same gloves that made BP lose his title as autonomous male with nads intact-- to a covert feminist who counters with haymakers backed by modern legislation, and rancid, rampant societal expectation and convention.

Yes, we men are expected to get punched til we like it or cant feel anything anymore, and we often do, and arent allowed to hit back.

So when a man finally allows his testicles to descend again, and he passively "rejects" a girl --i.e. hits her with a sock em bopper to stick up for himself and keep her at bay, like a good boxer does with his jab, then he's immiediately disqualified, and he doesnt get "the title".

[–]J_Dizzle1000 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know that feeling. My ex wanted to be friends and I've never been friends with an ex. So a few weeks after we broke up we started talking again. After a while it was clear we both wanted to be with each other but then she started being unavailable and wasn't as responsive. So I cut all contact with her after she blew me off and then she started texting me again recently. I decided that if she wasn't going to be there that I wasn't going to waste my time. Plus it made it easier for her to start flirting with guys since I was always going to be there. So from that point on, if I wasn't getting what I wanted from a person, then I wasn't going to waste my time for them.

[–]plaaya 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Wow bro. What you said rings home. I wish I had the will power to overcome my first break up with a girl. She basically did what your girl did. After the break up she guilt tripped the fuck out of me. So much that I decided to keep seeing her after the break up. When I finally gained the will power to tell her to fuck off she dropped the ultimate bomb on me. She told me she was pregnant :( be careful out there guys. It's real

[–]J_Dizzle1000 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Paternity test brah. But I knew what had happened. I went BB and the power shifted to her so it was like a thorn in my side. After I said fuck it and cut her off she came back. Boosted my ego and then I went on talking to the other plates I had. Not worth the trouble man. It's easier to rip the band aid off quickly than to slowly pull it. Once you get into TRP and utilize that ideas, it won't be so bad. Chin up and chest out. You'll be alright.

[–]plaaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Well if I knew what I know now I would've handled the situation way better but, you live and learn I guess.

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[–]plaaya 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's a bit of a long story but I'll make it short.

She was 30 when I met her. I was 21, socially inept, and stupid if you will... Fast forward because time lol I wasn't in love with her that's for sure. When she told me she was pregnant my heart literally stopped. It was the worst feeling in the world for me. I told her I needed time to get things sorted out but I also told her I would be there for her and the baby. We kept seeing each other after but it wasn't the same. I feel I could write a book on my whole story. Lots of twist and turns that's for sure

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[–]plaaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good on you man you played it smart and good thing she decided to go through with it.

[–]Ermgotthis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great read, it can really be helpful in your interaction with people. Thanks !

[–]skoobled 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Total manipulation of the male urge to be protective. If you remind yourself of this then you won't feel guilty. If she wants to maintain your protection then she has to continue to deserve it. If you broke out off then she obviously didn't

[–]OakTr3E 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Being a good listener (emotinally available) are standard demands put on men by women/society. Those demands are high (we are just brainwashed into thinking it's something every woman deserves by default) and the men who don't give in to those demands are shamed until they do. If they still don't. Well, a non-controllable man is an interesting man and not a tool/orbiter (good listener). It is someone who has higher value and someone you need to prove yourself to if you want his attention. What can women offer to men to prove themselves? There is one thing that works most of the time. Give him what he wants - what that you possess. It sits between your legs.

Now. I am exaggerating all this to the extreme. But this is to make the point that withdrawing undeserved emotional support is a sign that you value yourself.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A great point. But it still takes guys a long time until they reach that point. Which is part of mgtow evolution as well.

[–]ROIVeritas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And folks will try to make you seem like less of a man or more of a monster, for actually processing your emotions as opposed to passing them like gas in an elevator or feminist legislation to the masses.

I dont know if there is more irony is this paradox or in the gym - It a close one.

Is not being logically available mean that a woman is not a nice/ mean person??

[–]basilwhite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I submit that if you're in a relationship where sex and active listening are emotional needs, sexual unavailability IS emotional unavailability.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 246 points247 points  (94 children)

In regards to the thread title: on point.

I've been saying for years, when a woman won't have sex with a man, it's like a man who won't talk to a woman. It's a foundational need not being met and it sucks. Don't give me this "I'm not in the mood" or "I have a headache" bullshit. Guess what, how many fucking times have you blabbered on about some dumb fucking thing that happened at work that day, or were telling me about plans for the living room wallpaper, and I - for the love of all things good in the world - would rather have a 12 gauge shotgun put under my nose and the trigger pulled. In fact, I NEVER fuckinb feel like hearing or talking about dumbass mundane shit like that, but I do it, your communication and emotional needs are met, and you go about your day.

Guess what, when you aren't available physically, it would be just like me not speaking, listening, and communicating with you. Straight freeze out. I walk by you in the kitchen like you don't exist every day. You question everything about yourself, our relationship, and wonder 24/7 why I won't speak to you when I know it hurts you so much and you need it.

That's the fucking truth dumbass BP feminist men, and women who withdraw sex to gain power in a relationship, won't tell you.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 59 points60 points  (13 children)

not in the mood

I really liked this guy's take on that:


"I'm not in the mood for sex." WTF does that even mean? So basically you're at the whim of your own body here? You don't have a brain that can think and make decisions and do things regardless of what you're "in the mood" for? We do things everyday that we're "not in the mood" for. I'd guess that most people aren't "in the mood" to wake up every morning and go work their jobs for 9-10 hours a day, but we do it anyway. I'm never "in the mood" to wash dishes, cook dinner, or pick up around the house, but I do these things because they have to be done. And heavens forbid if I came home and for 27 days out of the month told my wife "sorry, I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone right now."
If I told my job "sorry, I'm not in the mood to come in this week" they wouldn't sit around trying to think of ways to make me want to come to work. "How is your working environment? Are you stressed out? Would you like a window desk? How about a raise? We can get catered lunch and professional massage therapists during break time." No, I'd be fucking fired. And they'd find someone who was "in the mood" to go to work. Again, am I comparing relationships to work? No...but hey, don't we always say that maintaining healthy relationships takes...I dunno...work? Compromise. Understanding.

So why is it that a dead bedroom is one aspect where a partner can just completely check out and be justified in doing so?

[–]iggybdawg 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If I told my job "sorry, I'm not in the mood to come in this week" they wouldn't sit around trying to think of ways to make me want to come to work. ... No, I'd be fucking fired.

I've taken shit by telling women "If calling in sick for work that often would get you fired, saying no to sex that often should get you dumped."

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 12 points13 points  (1 child)

This lays it out pretty well: http://fdrurl.com/rtrpdf

Attraction is non-negotiable. If she doesn't want to fuck you, then you either end it, or find out why and change the situation.

Having sex with your girl is not a right, but if she doesn't want to bang you, there is something wrong. Girls are fucking retarded and most of them will frame this as "OMG he just forces me into sex all the time when I don't want to and believes he has a god given right to it!".

If you were in a relationship with a chick who gave you things other than sex, eg access to clubs, supporting you, whatever, and she got fat, many men would try and maintain the relationship while minimising the sex.

Your bitch getting fat is the same as you getting beta. As the man, ie the leader, it is encumbent upon you to get your house in order.

[–]Mr_Andry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree. As men we take responsibility for our situations. If she was once into you but is now turning you down, it's either because she is broken (and it is not your responsibility to fix) or you are fucking up with your maleness.

This is one place I agree with feminists. You do not ever "deserve" sex. She does not ever "owe" you sex. As a man, you must inspire her to want you. Period. Same goes for women. I've had girls get upset that I wasn't in the mood when they were. Well if they were sexier, I'd be in the mood more often.

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[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Knowing what I know now, what it's really a euphemism for is "I'm not attracted to you".

[–]Flargmastaflex2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's justified because the other one can't/won't say no.

[–]Entrefut 41 points42 points  (7 children)

What sucks is the number of sources girls can go to to get validation for all this shit. Complain about life on FB, post pics for esteem on insta, read through 1 of 50 texts they've gotten today from guys they gave their # to.

[–]OurMindsLiveOn 29 points30 points  (6 children)

Thats why nothing beats male bonding though. its not fake attention seeking, if my buddies upset i can go buy a round of drinks, or (hopefully one day) take them fishing on my boat. We dont need to cry out to the world about our problems, just need some good friends, they already understand its all bullshit anyways.

[–]Iramohs 6 points7 points  (5 children)

On New Years it was just me and my boys. Fuck the bars, fuck the girls. We chilled at a friends apartment and just drank. It was fantastic. Best time I've had in awhile. Going to do it again for the Super Bowl.

[–]skoobled 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was our original plan. Kinda wish I hadn't changed it to another house party, but that was pretty big. In any case we're off to a cabin next weekend to hang out abs get wasted. Looking forward to it

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Usually once or twice a month we (guy friends) spend a Saturday or a Sunday together BBQing, drinking beer and watching football. My buddy built a building behind his house just for the guys to hang out, fully equipped with a 60" TV, Sunday Ticket, recliners, and a reach in cooler stocked with cases of beer. You can drink , smoke, cuss, light a joint, whatever the fuck.

If wives/girlfriends get pissed at the amount of time we spend there , the consensus attitude is "fuck her, she'll get over it."

[–]NevrEndr 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is my dream. I have 2 young daughters and no plans to try for a son. My goal by the time they are teenagers is to build myself a guest house i can escape to whenever i want.

[–]1independentmale 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had one and used to do this all the time. Actually lived it in for awhile prior to divorce.

After the divorce, I got to thinking and it kind of pissed me off that I needed a man cave. Why the fuck couldn't my buddies come hang out in the big beautiful house that I alone paid for? Why did I ever let myself be relegated to the pool house? Wife was a temperamental brat who threw fits, I should have just said, "Too bad, we're playing poker in the dining room, it's my fucking dining room too, deal with it."

Oh well. Now she's gone and the whole house is mine.

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (12 children)

agree 1000%

You dont wanna fuck? I dont want to hear about your day. I dont wanna hear about your family. I dont want to spend time with you.

As bad as men need Sex-- women need a man's attention. deep down they know ALL their value derives from their man.

[–]through_a_ways 22 points23 points  (9 children)

As bad as men need Sex-- women need a man's attention.

Luckily for them there's the internet for that

[–]systemshock869 19 points19 points [recovered]

Internet validation = internet porn

[–]kneeonbelly 4 points5 points  (5 children)

How many attention-seeking whores have you seen wearing engagement rings or wedding bands on /r/gonewild and similar subreddits? I don't spend much of my time there but I'm subscribed so I'll flip through what's on my front page. How many of these "locked-down" chicks' men do you think have any idea of their baby's Internet Skank presence? AWALT.

[–]BrunoOh 4 points5 points  (4 children)

It wouldn't surprise me if they know. It's pretty much internet cuckolding.

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[–]Newdist2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Doesn't work that way for men. We don't need other men to tell us what to be attracted to.

[–]The_Americano 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

[–]Sabetsu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I understand, it makes it sound like the only reason a man would ever want to communicate with his female partner is because he would make the scales tip more toward sex (in his favour).

I think the reason it makes women upset that men feel this way about the woman not wanting sex vs the man not talking to her, is because talking in her mind is a normal, everyday thing, and she feels sex is going out of her way / something she doesn't really enjoy doing unless it is on a whim (like a cat, very fickle).

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[–]kymaleporid 13 points14 points  (13 children)

The next time a female starts trying to drone at me I'm just gonna flip that shit right back on her and cut her off with "I'm not in the mood right now." or "I have a headache." Hell I might even go with "I can't- I'm on my period right now." And then get up and casually walk away.

Cause man, just picturing the perplexed look on her hypothetical face is cracking me up. Please brain, please, please remind me to do this!

[–]truchisoft 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Never comunicate overtly, that will only backfire.

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[–]Strangeclouds420 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If I'm not in the mood to give it to her I just do other things while she's talking. She eventually gets the idea she's talking to a brick wall. If I listened to every story then I wouldn't get things done.

[–]1RBuddDwyer 5 points6 points  (4 children)

The problem with that approach is that when you do it overtly it can come off as passive aggressive, and passive aggressive is a woman's game. You'll never beat her at it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Women depend on men being overtly communicative. When you aren't, it trips her up, keeps her on her toes.

Don't think passive aggressive like a beta bithc boy, but rather like someone who doesn't waste his time with unnecessary words.

[–]1RBuddDwyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bingo! One approach is coercive, the other is enticing. You want the enticing.

[–]thegman84 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think you could be overt if you said it with a sense amused mastery rather than passive aggression.

Saying "I'm not in the mood" with a smart ass grin and laughing would be a lot different than saying it and sulking.

[–]1RBuddDwyer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it still can be passive aggressive, even with amused mastery. If delivered in a manner were it is clear that you are withholding in response to her withholding, then it can be passive aggressive.

You see, this type of thinking has a place. And that place is in your head of a guy who is trying to unplug, who is trying to undo the years of feminist programming. The newbie to the movement needs to tell himself this, but not her. He needs to tell himself this as part of his reprogramming.

I think the best reply to it is simply, "okay babe, see you later..." because the key to true outcome independence is not that you come up with things to do when she turns you down, it's that you take time out of your own life to have sex with her. When she rejects you, just go back to what you were going to do anyway. Remember, your life is the fun world to which she is the invited guest. When she behaves badly or does not contribute to it in a meaningful way, then you rescind the invite.

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[–]ROIVeritas -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If a woman's guilt is behind you, you know you're going in the right direction.

"If you're going through hell, dont stop, keep going."- Winston Churchill

[–]kymaleporid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To clarify- my intention in doing this particular bit would be with the sole purpose of good-natured teasing, amusing myself (and getting a lovely story), and because I've simply never had the pleasure of this exact experience and I'm a straight up sucker for novelty. [Once in college I decided not to turn in a homework assignment just because I'd never purposefully done that. As expected I received a 0, and thus my grand experiment was concluded. It was for a philosophy class and to this day I still feel extremely pleased with myself over the whole thing, ha. Anyways, moving on...]

But yeah, throwing out a line like that wouldn't necessarily be an attempt at teaching her a lesson, or something. I suppose it would still be outcome-dependent though (?) since I would be shooting for that totally-brain-fuzzed look or at least getting a rise out of her one way or another. shrug

When this day comes (and we shall hope it comes sooner rather than later) I'll bite the bullet and post a FR.

Because science.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make sure to do a field report about it... That shit will be hilarious.

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[–]thegman84 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If a girl you like is witholding sex, withhold emotional support. Asymmetrical warfare.

Don't forget financial support.

If she's withholding sex, you damn well better be withholding your credit card.

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[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're right, and it sucks for you. The older you get, the more your appearance matters, and the more often you have to settle for less. This is what most girls don't get, they have a great guy, but they toss him aside on a whim for a cheap fling. The fling doesn't work out and they find themselves mid thirties alone with cats, unless they look very good. When another high value male comes along who is willing to give them a shot, they sabotage it and will stick with the drunk loser, probably because he keeps coming back and they want to fix him or some shit.

Look at it from my perspective. I'm 45, I can date girls age 18 to 55. The better I look, the higher value I am, the easier it is to get young very attractive girls. Why would I bother with someone my age who is toting around a bunch of kids, is 20+lbs overweight, and has an attitude? I'll date the 22 year old daughter she has, but mom won't get a shot, because it's easy for me to do better. The biggest attitudes come from 29-37 year olds, they think they are entitled to Brad Pitt and will not accept anything short of that. By the time they hit 45 they wonder why all the guys interested in them are douchebags or unattractive beta losers.

It happened with both my wives. Met them when they were 20 and 21, spent 8 years with each, they jumped ship then discovered the water is cold and unforgiving. First one is married to a super loser ten years older than I am. Second one hooked up with a super loser 20 years younger than I am, seven younger than her. That is the best either will do. Meanwhile I am still hooking up with 20 somethings, my life gets set back a little when they divorce me, but I fight my way back and continue my upward path.

Nobody tells you that's how it works. They lie to you and say you can do better, that your life will improve, and you will find a better man easy. They encourage you to ditch us for any reason so you can find a better guy. They don't tell you the better men can get someone younger and better looking than you very easily, so they won't want you after you hit 32 or so. It's unfair as fuck, but that's how it works, and there is very little you can do about it other than settle for the short bald guy and hope he has money.

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

You are a victim of your own hypergamy. How profound.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No, it's simply the idea that there is always somebody better. No matter how high you achieve with whatever man you find, your hypergamy has you convinced that the current man is never gonna be good enough. Even if you're eating USDA prime filet mignon, you'll send it back to the chef because it wasn't grass-fed angus.

[–]suckmydickimmediatly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But by following that logic, does that mean that if a girl is always physically avaliable to me, will suck my dick on command and be my personal slut, then would I have to spill out my feelings for her, or give well thought out responses to everything she's complaining about, whenever she wants?

You say that you never want to talk about mundane shit, but does the women never want to have sex?

I'm not entirely sure if female physical avaliability is exactly complementary to male emotional evaliability.

[–]UncharminglyWitty 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Side note: dude's hat game is hilarious and on point

[–]Stormhammer 21 points22 points  (2 children)

" It's energy conserving. I see you Prius!"

[–]-The-Prestige- 4 points4 points [recovered]

I loved that line more than I should have. 1) Because it really resonated with me. 2) Great metaphor.

[–]11100011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3) Because I actually have a prius... very efficient.

[–]X346 19 points20 points  (8 children)

There are two kinds of men to women: Those they want to fuck (alpha guys) and those that they consider "husband material" (a beta providers), who they consider physically/sexually unattractive or only very marginally attractive. I believe that women are only really attracted physically/sexually to a very small fraction of the male population.

Many woman will make a man earn and qualify for something (sex) that she was giving away for free with glee in college to the more physically attractive (alpha) guys, while ignoring the lonely beta guys and being mean to them. It amazes me that many women will choose to marry a man that they are physically/sexually not attracted to merely because he can be a good provider. This is why there are so many divorces and sexless marriages - the women were never into their men to begin with, he was just an appliance, whose sole purpose is to provide for her financially, and maybe as a sperm donor. I think that women who do this are pathetic. If a woman truly loved a man, wouldn't she want to give him the best years of her life when she was young, nubile and pretty?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I believe that women are only really attracted physically/sexually to a very small fraction of the male population.

Watch this:


He talks a bit about how anglo women have unrealistic expectations because IMO they've been groomed to believe they can have it all, and he touches upon how that makes western women's sexual preferences different from those in other parts of the world. Having lived overseas myself and spent a good deal of time in some real shitholes, I can vouch for what he's saying.

[–]football1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a short guy with an athletic build, in my experience, Roosh is spot on with his analysis here.

[–]FoxMcWeezer 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Haven't seen the video yet, but are you saying women in other parts of the world weren't raised with the entitlement that they all deserve a prince to sweep them off their feet? That that mentality exists mainly in anglo women?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just watch the video.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

20% of the Men get 80% of the sex.

This means the remaining 80% of the men are fighting over 20% of the sloppy seconds.

[–]cock_pussy_up 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If a woman truly loved a man, wouldn't she want to give him the best years of her life when she was young, nubile and pretty?

No, apparently, they'd rather give that to the af's and then let the bp support them financially after their body is past its best-due-date.

[–]X346 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most men don't realize how different women really think than men. Esther Vilar said in her book The Manipulated Man that women will marry a man just because of his wealth and status, and have no physical attraction whatsoever to him, He is merely tolerable to her. Men are utilities or appliances to women. It's like she is marrying a toaster or drafthorse. He will be treated like one and discarded when he can't perform.

[–]Newdist2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe that women are only really attracted physically/sexually to a very small fraction of the male population.

Take ten average women in their 20s, take ten of the most desirable men. Clooney, Brad Pitt, younger Sean Connery, etc. Maybe throw in Mick Jagger and shirtless Vladimir Putin. Put them all on an island with no rules and watch the fun.

At least one of the men will get three women (minimum) on lockdown. Meanwhile several of the men will end up getting no women at all.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Boy did this sound familiar, especially the bit where the girls started treating him differently as soon as he withdrew his interest when they made it clear they were off the market:


2.. The withholding welcher. Alternately, an emotionally abusive, NPD/BPD woman lures you into a relationship with the unspoken promise of passionate sex once you’ve “proven” yourself and she “feels” she can “trust you.” Alexander Lowen, M.D. explains this kind of seduction as “a false statement or promise to get another person to do what he or she would not otherwise do. The promise can be explicitly stated, or it can be implied. Psychopathic swindlers openly promise something they have no intention of giving. But most seductive ploys involve promises that are not clearly stated” (Narcissism: Denial of the True Self, p. 102).

This is a trap because the passionate sex never materializes. You have to keep proving yourself “worthy” of her and, as many of my readers know, nothing is ever enough for these women. You can never be nice enough, do enough or meet any of her other ill-defined, diffuse, shifting rules and requirements enough for her to “reward” you with sex. Sex is a chore for this woman, an obligation or a “favor” she begrudgingly bestows with growing infrequency and ultimately becomes a transaction.

A transactional relationship is one in which person A provides a service in exchange for person B providing a service. Prostitution is a kind of transactional relationship and so is sex with this kind of NPD/BPD woman. In other words, if you want to get laid, then you have to give her something she wants or behave how she wants you to behave. This is another way she controls you.

There’s always an agenda, even if it’s having sex so you won’t end the relationship. It’s still a transaction. “You owe me because I let you have sex with me. I did my ‘duty,’ so now you can’t leave.” Most men are so grateful for even the smallest scrap of affection that they ignore the perfunctory and disinterested way in which their wife or girlfriend treats sex. Like a man who’s been wandering through the desert views a thimble full of water; you’re grateful for what little you get.

No matter the scenario, you’re not her beloved, equal partner; you’re either a to-do list item, a human vibrator, and/or a way for her to feel like she’s still “got it.”

[–]user_none 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fucking hell, that was my ex wife.

[–]ROIVeritas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your post was so heavy with truth, especially the last bit. I can definitely see the jaded, albeit attractive mid 20's girl use these tactics to her advantage. She's still young enough to attract easily, but she's now just jaded enough to believe relationships dont work, men are pigs, or the guy who popped her cherry wasn't "the one", so now the next unsuspecting guy is a big soft target, and he doesnt know it yet because he's too busy complimenting her beauty to notice the impending doom of his maleness being compromised for the sake of restoring her fragile, broken ego.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What an eye opener. Girl used to tell me we could have sex if "I was good" whatever the hell that meant. Literally describes the person to a T. Amazing. She used to tell me "sex was like a chore" w her and her ex. Shoulda moped on out of there sooner.

[–]1RBuddDwyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has some good material to open men's eyes to how women are in real life, but she doesn't really go much beyond that. She makes it really easy to just get stuck in the big pity party.

[–]bazwalt 9 points10 points  (2 children)

The old me would have disagreed with this video but im starting to taste the red pill and finally realise where I've been going wrong so. 10/10 for this vid. I'm trying not to fall for this shit anymore.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

deleted What is this?

[–]bazwalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I see that now and I completely agree. Thanks for the encouragement. Much appreciated.

[–]SQQQ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yup. if she wants some emotional enjoyment i'm gonna ask for physical enjoyment.

[–]NoHarmNoCry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I work in the hospitality industry, and experience much the same thing. The assistant manager is always yammering at everyone, "Smile and say hi and be nice to guests, it doesn't cost anything!"

I don't have a problem with that. That's what we're paid to do. That's fine. But stop being so damn facetious about it. It takes a toll on us. It's emotionally draining. It's not "free".

The part where he talked about our energy not being perpetual, and that we do feel drained after investing time and energy with people... that part resonated with me.

[–]thereddespair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the video, and I always liked that thought - if they want something from you and is all there to take it, they should put out as well and give something you also need.

since the new year hit, Ive been thinking about that myself - energy consumption, emotional. not just from how I respond to these, when I get it from their end but also when Im in the situation where I can and feel tempted to do it. the idea that we tell other men but almost never the man in question, I guess that does need to change - just face it and not run to others for the cushy treatment, face that risk that yes as what the guy in the vid said, he might leave. i heard the idea before, that its like putting people in an emotional trap and it can be unfair to them - be they friends, random people or even just someone you wanna screw.

[–]Criviton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the link my friend very cool guy

[–]maouthse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

similar idea to Patrice O'Neal's on Black Phillip. He says something along the lines of: "Oh, you don't have casual sex? Well I don't really partake in casual conversation…"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent fucking video. Liked and faved.

One little thing though: I still think that it is possible to be "friends" with a woman if we talk about things we both want to talk about. I talk to a female friend about our TV shows. When she has emotion-dumping to do, I let my wife take over the listening. All it takes is actively maintaining your boundaries, but not necessarily forbidding all non-sexual activities from women.

[–][deleted] 13 points13 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]FoxMcWeezer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't even call it a backup. Backup implies you can eventually get with the girl.

[–]1DRMMR76 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Ayn Rand once again hit the nail on the head.

All healthy functional relationships are an equal exchange of value for value. Without such an exchange, the relationship will falter.

And that doesn't just mean relationship in the romantic/sexual manner. All interactions between people. A student at college has a relationship with his professor. The professor gives lessons the student believes are worth what he paid for in admission, the professor gets a paycheck. If either say "this isn't worth it" they are free to quit. A father gets the satisfaction of raising a healthy child. The value he gets is that satisfaction. The value the child gets is having a good father. You wouldn't pay $1,000,000,000,000 for a car, nor would a car maker accept $0.01 for it. A mutually agreeable price is met somewhere in between.

There's a reason why it's called Sexual Market Value. All voluntary human interaction is an expression of market forces. A market is simply when both sides mutually agree to exchange something that one values for something the other values. If one values something too much while the other values it too little, there will not be an agreement and the exchange will not be made.

If a female wants emotional availability, she must be willing to exchange something the other party values. And not just with men, and not just sex. Even when she's venting to her best female friend, the friend is still getting something. It could be the knowledge that the girl venting will be there for her in the future, it could be the satisfaction people get from having friends, it could be blackmail and gossip ammo to use against her later on. She's still choosing to listen to that friend complain and vent, on purpose instead of walking away, because she's deciding it is somehow worth it. Even the satisfaction of doing something nice for someone you care about is still something of value to you, and if you get that satisfaction, you are getting your value. Even psychologists and counselors do this very same thing in a more direct way: being emotionally available to someone and helping them with their problems, but in exchange for money.

The point this guy makes is spot on. The girls at the ice rink wanted to take something of value from him, his time and mental energy, and not give something of equal value (sex) back. Those girls were trying to rob him of something he values, as clearly as someone robbing a store.

[–]football1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The girls at the ice rink wanted to take something of value from him, his time and mental energy, and not give something of equal value (sex) back.

They were attempting to time rape the poor guy.

[–]j-pHil 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i understand his point, but how do i implement this without bitterness. do i just move on to the next one. am i not supposed to hold female friends?

[–]dogberry23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Avoiding bitterness is key, although is hard (at least at the beginning). As the guy in OP video explains, "being unavailable does not make me a bad or mean person." I am a recovering BP/MrNiceGuy myself, and getting over this kind of self-blame thoughts is being one of the most difficult parts.

Regarding your question about holding female friends: Why men and women can't be friends -Youtube-

[–]rufusjonz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good video and great post/video title

[–]PracticallyAlpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other people will use you for what you do. It is OK to focus on yourself. It is OK, as a male, to want women around who are physically available. It doesn't make you a pig, it doesn't make you a jerk, it doesn't make you a douchebag. It makes you a smart, efficient, energy-conserving person. It makes you a Prius, it makes you Captain Planet.

Dealing with bullshit physically drains our energy. Whether with women or otherwise, listening to uninteresting, emotional people talk ad nauseum is an arduous waste of time.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

his voice hurts me ears but his video is super cool! i love the way he did it and the message he teaches!

i subed to his channel i just hope i don't get any of the prank videos.

[–]GuruDev1000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That was concise and amazing.

[–]iggybdawg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girls get confused when I say sex is emotionally fulfilling to me. As such, being physically unavailable to me is being emotionally unavailable to me.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relevant Music Video WHY I GOTTA WAIT?? - Flynt Flossy ft Yung Humma (…: http://youtu.be/ajcGDaLy4Zw

[–]REDitor100 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I just realized why red pill is so hard to swallow.

The terminology and definitions are so strong that for someone barely seeing it, it would be pretty easy to see it as anger filled, complex, or vulgar. It's also too much to take in sometimes. Acronyms such as SMV and stuff are things you need to look up and understand why it's called that.

Main stream ideas need to be short and simple so anyone could understand. I am all for red pill spreading because I see so many brothers who could benefit from it and it could eventually lead to to men being men again. But I also know it would be rejected if brought to light as its own subject. I believe, if we want red pill to spread, the terminology needs to dumb down a bit. The title of this post makes it very easy to connect two and two and if we thought about it differently, we could change most terms and definitions for not only newcomers but for people who already accept TRP but still don't understand everything.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who wants to spread the red pill? We are not an evangelical church. Men will come to us when they are ready.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The OP clearly isn't talking about one hiccup in an otherwise loving and healthy relationship, where did you get that idea?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fucking brilliant. 100% fucking brilliant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've seen it here before: either fuck me, or fuck you.

[–]hb8only -2 points-2 points [recovered]

still not 1:1

sex: I'm phys. available to her and she is to me 1:1
emot: I'm here for her (not she for me) 0:1

but.. must me 1:2, not 0:2 :)