449
450
451

Red Pill TheoryTo fall in love with anyone, do this (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

To fall in love with anyone, do this: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html

The author describes a technique developed by psychologists for falling in love. It has worked experimentally in the lab. One couple that fell in love in the laboratory setting went ahead to marry each other in 6 months.

The author mentions that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but it is an action that we can do, like moving a muscle.

I have pasted the direct link because this link deserves to be popular.

EDIT: Shortened link.


[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 74 points75 points  (0 children)

This is interesting, but not surprising.

One of the premises of game is to simulate more comfort and intimacy than what actually exists. Touch like you're old friends. Joke, tease, and banter like you're established buddies not trying to impress each other. Isolate for some alone time. Talk about sexual and personal things as though you already have that kind of relationship. Hop between locations to create an artificial feeling of a longer time span and multiple dates.

You create the sense of "love."

I imagine going through a structured series of increasingly personal questions creates a similar sense of closeness.

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 123 points124 points  (33 children)

I wonder if blue pillers would call this sort of thing manipulative.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 134 points135 points  (17 children)

Everything is manipulative to blue pillers.

[–]a_nus 107 points108 points  (11 children)

Wrong. I buy my girlfriend flowers, rub her feet, and cook dinner for her every night. She even has sex with me once per month, sometimes. That's not manipulation, it's called love. Lol I feel sorry for you "alpha" "bros" /s /bp

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Do her feet smell of flowers or cheese?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Those moments, when I lovingly massage her tiny toes and she is nagging and bitching about her hard day as a mother and housewife we are sharing our most intimate feelings, are just so special, that I never really noticed.

[–]-Awake- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Laughing at my desk, I don't have enough upvotes for this comment

[–]M_rafay -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh, god, I cringe now. I was such an idiot.

[–]duglock 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I disagree. If you really loved her you would have taken her last name when you got married and agreed to an open marriage.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Once a month? You should start doing all the chores! Don't end up doing those rapey manipulation things they talk about in TRP! /s

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But you know...Becky...I read 50 Shades of grey...and..gulp you're going to think I'm like...like defective or something...but...err...well...rape is actually kinda hot. It's so...kinky. He has to rape me...but I have to want him to rape me..he can't know I want him to rape me though. If you think rape is hot...you'll know where I'm coming from. If he wants to chain me to his cold hard protruding......bed post. And do unspeakable things...to ME....well....I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Her father walks in. she, in a slip of Freudian weakness, immediately locks eyes with him, unknowingly biting her lip "Ice cream, daddy?"

Cue the "don't shame her sexuality!" crowd. It's only an incest and rape double whammy, y'know.

Next up: bonobos! Grab yer inhalers we're in for a bumpy ride! /s

[–]t21spectre 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Not everything, being submissive to her isn't. Well, I'm sure they could spin their wheel and some how make that manipulative too.

[–]OakTr3E 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course being submissive is manipulative. You are doing it to get her to stay with you and also to get sex every once in a while.

You should be submissive and not expect anything from her in return. No company, no appreciation. Nothing. If you want any of those, that means you are expecting it and are being manipulative.

/FemTr3E

[–]the_optiomal 4 points5 points  (2 children)

everything is manipulative. almost everything

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You just tried to manipulate people to your point of view

Edit: Cute that you deleted you 'whatever' reply, I was agreeing with you anyway..

[–]zpatriarchy 37 points38 points  (0 children)

how dare you take advantage of her! /s

[–]JohnGalt316 8 points9 points  (5 children)

this is exactly why i never look a woman in the eye so i avoid manipulating her into a relationship /bp

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Males are to stand, backs to the wall, feet together and arms to their sides. Heads and eyes must be lowered in submission at all times. When a woman approaches, they are to produce their papers for examination. They are to answer all questions, beginning and ending each question with "ma'am" - but otherwise are not to speak.

[–]viperpex 1 point2 points  (3 children)

They also need their privilege checked......

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I would get it checked regularly but I still can't find the damn thing

[–]KenuR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's located somewhere in the prostate region.

[–]ManRAh 5 points6 points  (4 children)

It reminds me quite a bit of classic PUA "rapport" game that use to be a big topic (maybe still is?). The questions start light and fun, but become very personal, so there are these waves of comfort, vulnerability, deep connection, and then back again. The eye-contact goes kind of opposite. Intense eye-contact creates huge feelings of vulnerability for most people. It's amazing how many people can't hold eye-contact with strangers for more than a second or two. So when you force it, you're forcing her to become comfortable not just with you looking at her, but with her intensely looking at you. And of course, there's an element of sexuality in that (assuming you don't fuck it up).

I'm sure it's not fool proof; you'd have to be able to lead the questions to fun and flirtatious places... plus, like others have said, the sample size is incredibly small. I think there's great theory behind it though.

[–]the_optiomal 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Maybe the conclusion is that love is something that happens when you want to. For example, if you find someone and you want to fall in love with them, you let them into your world, and do, consciously, things similar to this experiment. You fall for who you want to. I dont know if my message is clear

[–]JovianTrainWreck -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, interesting how you usually only want to if you're physically attracted to the other person. Pretty strange, right? /s

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. This questionairre is like the Mystery-and-Style era routines like 'The Cube' or even some of the NLP patterns, expect it's more direct and less metaphorical.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything is manipulative when you consider it from the position of someone making a choice in a vacuum. Everything around you influences the choices you make, and you'd probably go a bit unhinged were it the opposite- isolation does tend to grind at the human psyche.

[–]1sailorJery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I mean technically speaking it very much is manipulation. But that's the very nature of the sexual marketplace and manipulation isn't necessarily negative.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How dare you know what it takes to get or keep a woman?! You're a manipulator and its wrong!

[–]reddick1 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Great resource for questions for random conversation topics. Keep her talking.

[–]Red_Disciple 11 points12 points  (2 children)

One sided conversation won't get the same effect. What this is doing is building an emotional rapport between two people. This is opening up parts of someone that are normally closed to people who aren't already close but it has to be reciprocal otherwise they'll shut down. If you're confident in who you are and what you want that'll come out even more so with questions like this. Basic PUA but nonetheless true.

[–]ENTEENTE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, but I think people tend to ask "And you?" to these kind of questions after explaining themselves.

[–]TRP VanguardtrpSenator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soon as I read this, I thought the same thing. These are some good openers and things to slip in from a PUA perspective.

[–]AntixD 46 points47 points  (0 children)

the questions are here,some cool questions i must admit http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (17 children)

The author mentions that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but it is an action that we can do, like moving a muscle.

I agree with your point regarding having a choice. Something I think worth noting and possibly expanding on is the concept that you can make that choice, over and over again throughout the relationship.

After several discussions of Marriage on TRP I have seen the point brought up consistently that when you say your vows you are marrying that person, not who they'll be in 10 years. I agree to an extent, but this article hits on the point that as these 2 people are growing old together they are choosing time and time again to fall (back) in Love.

Now, I am completely avoiding the whole Love is Blind because I don't think it is, I think women are smart and men are naive to their wit which is why so many men enter (and remain) in awful LTR's/Marriages.

With that said, I also think that there is hope for the men who lost their way in their marriage and turned into completely weaksauce beta fucks.

By taking action and implementing the philosophies on self improvement and sexual strategy into your marriage, you can get your wife to fall back in love with you. If your wife completely let herself go due to your lack of leadership, then you too, can take charge of the helm and make the love come back in your life.

I fell in love with my wife when she was still my girlfriend. After deployments and several other major Tests I fell in love with her as my wife. I then fell in love after our first and second child. It is a process that is constantly evolving and ongoing.

For those who want to walk the path of an LTR, choose wisely and make sure it is your choice when/if you start flirting with the idea of telling a girl you love her and letting her into your personal world.

[–]emblasochist 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I'm really glad to hear that there are RP married men like you who can be mature about their feelings of love. There are a lot of men who are trying to swallow the pill and come to the conclusion that women just don't deserve to be married and I think that they're not really done accepting that they're making choices, all the time, that lead them to that place. I see your example of what I think I want, but I don't know if I have the willpower to get into, and maintain high SMV and strong frame to have what you have.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Seriously man, a small aspect of TRP does dehumanize human relationships and as a result, people in the bitter phase of TRP blow it out of proportion and misapply the theory on a grand scale. "She only likes you for the hormones your stimulating in her."

Yea so what at the rudimentary level it's not you it's oxtocin. The idea is to enjoy the magic and enjoy the show. But, metaphorically speaking, go to sleep with one eye open and maintain awareness of your SMV at all times. The problem is people come here and forget to enjoy the magic. They read some evolutionary psychology and with this new hammer in hand, everything becomes a nail and they start to become depressed missing the forest for the trees. Those aspects are minute in the grand scheme of things.

We must always keep striving to improve our character, grow our resources (internal and/or external), and be our best our selves. But don't forget human life and science is magic and enjoy it while we are here.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (12 children)

you can get your wife to fall back in love with you

That's not the difficult bit. It's being in love with her that is too hard to do. That's not specific to her, being "in love" with anyone just seems like an impossibility now, but not in a bad way.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 22 points23 points  (11 children)

That's not the difficult bit. It's being in love with her that is too hard to do.

Step out of feelz mode... You do have control over your love for a woman because you can take action directed at building love. The more action you take, the deeper you fall. That's what hooks betas schlubs into one-itis and devotion orbiting.

Your emotions will follow your actions - physiology leading your psychology. But most people fuck that up, treating love as a passive feeling instead of an emotional response to loving acts.

Getting the woman to fall back in love is harder. You have to reclaim masculinity and become the man who attracts her, not the one that dutifully serves her. It requires engaging her to take loving acts towards you - not easy when she instinctively directs all her loving attention to her offspring.

Soft dread works wonders because the threat of you ever leaving her wakes her back up.

Everything /TraningTheBrain said was on the money, at least in my world.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (10 children)

You misunderstand. I'm not saying I can't do this, merely that I don't want to.

And for the record getting her to fall back in love with me was ridiculously easy.

[–]1aguy01 5 points6 points  (3 children)

It's true that if your woman is bitchy and out of shape then you can't really love her. You need to constantly be directing her towards healthy habits for her body, and healthy habits for her personality. Most women don't understand how annoying they are when they are shittesting or being sarcastic. They like seeing you put them in their place, so they keep doing it, thinking that you must like it too. You are totally responsible for shaping your woman into something you can love.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Agree 100%. But why bother, when the world is full of them? Apart from the threat of divorce rape or the fantasy of having someone to be in true love with, what's the sweetener to offset all that effort?

(Edit for clarity).

[–]1aguy01 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Right. I was assuming you were married.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Perhaps my phrasing was a bit flippant, but what did the trick was a combination of:

  • getting myself back on track with working out (I was a skinnyfat slob who never did anything, but I hit the gym and started running, and she can see me setting and achieving goals. Also I now look much better and draw attention from other women)
  • basic dread (disappearing for extended periods, sometimes openly to visit other women friends, flirting with others/responding when they flirt with me, talking openly about the person I met who was hitting on me, etc).
  • harder dread. I explicitly said I wasn't happy and was thinking of leaving, and meant it. Have also never subsequently said I'm going to stay.
  • taking control of my work environment so that it doesn't get in the way of my life
  • taking control of money issues. This is ongoing.
  • stating and maintaining frame in all things. When she acts out, I call her on it, and state what I expect instead. Same for the kids. There are consequences of poor performance.

This turned the sex back on, and I even started getting bjs. There's still work to do here, but progress is being made.

I still get occasional shit testing, but I take that as a sign that I'm letting my side of the deal down, and pick things up. I was a beta schlub for a long time, hard to shake some habits.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, this shit ain't complicated. Hard to do sometimes but all self improvement is.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Fair enough. You're coming from a different angle, not multiple years of beta serfdom and kids forever suckling at the teat because they refuse to grow up.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Here's the list of questions:

Set I

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

  1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

  2. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

  3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  4. What do you value most in a friendship?

  5. What is your most treasured memory?

  6. What is your most terrible memory? Continue reading the main story Related Coverage

    Modern Love: To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do ThisJAN. 9, 2015

  7. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

  8. What does friendship mean to you?

  9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

  10. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

  11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

  12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

  1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “ Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story

  2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

  3. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

  4. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

  5. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

  6. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

  7. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

  9. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

  10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

  11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

  12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

edit: here's how you can put them to good use...

/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s9r0i/to_fall_in_love_with_anyone_do_this/cnnw5ba

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Those are actually pretty good. I am definetly going to incorporate at least some of them at my date with that overly spiritual yoga-chick next week.

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Pure gold. I can already hear her tingling. "Oh my gawd. He's sooo deeep."

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 37 points38 points  (10 children)

I said it yesterday when this was posted in another thread that you could build an entire style of game around this.

edit: I made a simple 4 step process for putting these questions to good use....

/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s9r0i/to_fall_in_love_with_anyone_do_this/cnnw5ba

[–]AlcohoIicSemenThrowe 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Definitely. How about we try?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Way ahead of you.

Oddly enough, after reading the questions I realize now I was pretty much doing this already. It explains why my "comfort game" is so effective. My friend was a natural and would do the approaching for us back in my military days, and once we paired off it was a done deal. Now I know why. It wasn't unusual for me to get the "I've never felt so close to someone before" after just an hour or two of talking to them. If I hadn't had so much trigger anxiety back then I'd probably have a much higher n-count. I lost a lot of women in those days because I was afraid to escalate.

[–]Red_Disciple 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ditto and last night I was making out with a new girl that I know socially. She kept breaking the kiss to stare at me, obviously thinking, and I would just stare right back. Didn't think much of it until this morning when I realized how much if a emotional impact it had on me. Then I read this article and it makes sense. Silly biology, but damn those hormones feel good.

[–]OMGnohedidnt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which one of these questions would you use?

[–]1Sergnb 1 point2 points  (4 children)

It wasn't unusual for me to get the "I've never felt so close to someone before" after just an hour or two of talking to them

This is exactly what I want to be able to pull off and I can't seem to grasp how to do it. Mind elaborating? A description of your average approach would be neato

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Here is your homework....

Step 1: Read the sidebar thread on Goals. Figure out what kind of traits, hobbies, background, etc you want in a woman.

Step 2: Read this thread on Qualification.

Step 3: Go through the 36 questions and use them as a model/template to perform the qualification from Step 2 of the traits you decided you want in Step 1.

Step 4: Use these questions when building commonalities and screening her.

[–]bobbybluepill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can't even upvote this enough.

[–]ol_durrrty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saved for later reading and action. Thank-you for this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doesn't the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene attempt to do this already on a meta level. That is, inducing feelings of love.

[–]HeinousFu_kery 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I'm going to add this piece on crushes, which I have tucked in with the posted article.

Why crushes?

Crushes are what develop when you don't really know someone, but you both find some similarity and start filling in the blanks yourself, somehow making them fit you and you both fit together in your own minds. This can lead to bad marriages, bad LTRs or at least really embarrassing walks of shame. It can also lead to real love.

Crushes don't always turn out to be the same thing as love in real life as we all know, and the "How to Fall In Love With Anyone " might better be titled "How to Cultivate a Crush".

Love takes longer and is something about fitting together for real, and dealing with the times that you don't fit (and the fact that the other person isn't perfect, but is perfect for you), rather than that ideal picture that's in one or the others' head. The idealistic mental picture by itself will inevitably be disappointed unless its grounded in reality.

http://thephilosophersmail.com/relationships/on-the-madness-and-charm-of-crushes/

[–]PartyTrickster 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is wonderfully written, any idea who the author is? I can only trace it back to the parent group, which has dozens of people on staff.

[–]HeinousFu_kery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently it's Alain de Botton, though I came to it via a different article.

[–]MisterMisfit 21 points22 points  (9 children)

I don't buy it. In my experience i have opened up to women whom I was close to and while I thought at the time that I could trust them the relationship turned from warm and sexual to lucid. Women don't appreciate this thing like men do, they want someone stoic and mysterious.

[–]1aguy01 16 points17 points  (5 children)

I agree with this. I suppose it depends on your level of honesty. If you powertalked the answers she'd be head over heels for you, but if you really opened up and showed her how much of a pussy you really are then she'd dry up.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

What do you mean power talked the answers? Honest question

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]SwagYoloJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'd just give her the answers you know she wants.

Example: "Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?"

If you were to be honest, you'd say that you rehearse every single pizza order because you are an awkward fuck. She wants to hear however that you never do, accompanied by some funny anecdote from when you once dialled the wrong number and ended up calling a real estate agency. Bonus points if they tried to sell you something.

You can just go through the questions in advance and think up responses that project SMV.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I can't help but wonder if the eyes thing is the more effective aspect of the experiment. Eye contact is pretty powerful, as is the ability to keep a conversation going. The 36 questions could be anything.

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Skilled vibing opens a woman up emotionally. Pure chick crack. The speed to hook point can be incredibly fast. The danger is the fallout of having her love-drunk when you drop the bomb she's not the "One."

[–]tedted8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder too. Some slightly below average chick's have become 7 or 8 in my mind after gazing into there eyes for a little longer than social norms

[–]Purecorrupt 5 points6 points  (8 children)

I'd be curious if someone were to try this with a girl they just met on Tinder or something like that. I think it'd be an interesting FR if it didn't fail anytime before the "4 minute stare".

[–]entinthemountains 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Did this last night (spoiler: done in a TRP manner it works). I'll type up a FR tonight after the gym.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Subhazard 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm working on it. got something set up for friday. I'll let you know.

[–]i64 0 points0 points [recovered]

I have a tinder lined up for Thursday, I'll try this and have a FR up for sure.

[–]magus678 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I must say, she has a very readable quality to her writing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Basically, ask deep questions about the person, and make strong eye contact. When the person revelas their deepest thoughts to you, they expose themselves and become naked to your eye. People only expose themselves to people they trust. Pair that with strong eye contact and off course you get "love".

[–]rearended 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I wonder if this would work for a couple who have lost the 'spark'.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've used some of these questions on my wife. Her reaction is different than what I initially expected, and she provides thoughtful responses, not just brief blurbs. Long pauses, and her tone becomes more friendly like I've given her some kind of compliment wanting to know something about her.

I would say 'yes' there is potential to use it with couples losing their spark.

[–]1aguy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on why they lost the spark. If it's because they've genuinely grown apart because of demanding schedules, then this could work. If it's the typical too-much-beta situation then I think RP has the answers.

[–]magus678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in therapy for depression for a time, and we actually did the staring into the eyes thing. They were approaching with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The point of the exercise was to basically become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It played out not unlike how she wrote; it's hard not to laugh at first. In my case at least, my body was trying to dispel the uncomfortable tension that was being created. To her (yep) credit though, she half-giggled her way through the first couple minutes with me until we settled down and were able to get it done.

Truth be told? I think it did create some attraction between us. It wasn't extreme, but I noticed it. So in that capacity, I can testify to at least a thread of truth in it. But it cuts both ways to an extent, so just be aware.

Have you noticed that when you work out earlier in the morning you tend to feel more comfortable in your skin that day? I feel the same way about this kind of exercise. It lends this halo of invincibility for awhile, I suspect for similar reasons.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I don't buy this. The sample size is way too small.

In the original study, the design was to bring two strangers to feel closer together....which it did...not make someone fall in love with you.

Keep in mind, this is written by a 33 yr old looking for BB. If that's your angle, then it may work for you.

But seriously, meeting a woman and opening up about your childhood and shit? LOL No thanks. I'm doing fine.

I think Krauser PUA said that the field observations of game have proved to be more useful than any formal study to have come out of the social sciences.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The questions are classic "comfort game" and have a pretty good flow to them actually. If you're familiar with Qualification hoops, they start out fairly small and get bigger as they progress.

[–]colovick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the same I'm principle, but different in outcome. You're looking for random sex and plates. This is using the same methodology as regular game to get LTR's and married.

[–]solomungundy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've read through the 36 questions and I think they are more qualifying questions than anything else. The Dr. has perfected (or at least says he has) the exact questions you need to ask a girl to figure out if she's the right one for you. It's not rocket science, but I know I've definitely asked some of these questions on dates, or iterations of them.

Also, eye contact is a huge builder of attraction and trust. If you can look in someone's eyes for several minutes, you pass apart of yourself to them and they to you. Good stuff though.

[–]queenofnidra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this does seem like an interesting study. Especially love the part where she says 2 minutes is enough to get you terrified, 4 is really going somewhere. The staring that is. But IMO there goes along with intimacy a kind of privilege. A privilege that not everyone you meet is worthy of. Now most people give up this privilege quite easily. A privilege of a having an insight into someone else's mind and life. Which is why, when we breakup we feel betrayed. Betrayed not only by the person but that of ourselves. Because we lose not only the person, but a part of ourselves that we give them access to. Now, given that these questions supposedly can make two people fall in love, it isn't about the questions, but the answers. And of course answers depend on the person you ask.

[–]itchy_wizard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If I recall correctly the researchers found that asking those questions does not make you fall in love. Instead they help making the two persons feel connected to each other. If a man and a woman feel connected in a strong way, chances of them starting a relationship are higher.

But asking those questions would also make two men strengthen their friendship. I used those questions to create a stronger bond between mentors and mentees in organizations.

I'm on mobile right now but I think I have that paper somewhere.

[–]Goldfulgore 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry this is a bunch of crap to me. Her inner dialog got annoying. "It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know why we don’t go around thoughtfully complimenting one another all the time." Really??!! Go compliment a HB 10 you dumb bitch and watch her react.

It's a story about a solipsistic woman and a BP horny dude who played along. This thing doesn't work unless both of them are really looking for a SO and most hot women don't. They don't seek only comfort, but challenge as well.

[–]JovianTrainWreck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting, but definitely not something I would want to be doing to plates or random chicks that I just happen to find attractive. This absolutely obliterates the golden rule of "be a closed book" if you're just trying to get laid.

If you're going for an LTR though, have at it, hoss.

[–]ex_astris_sci 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She just sounded eager to fall in love, too easy a target. I don't know if you can manipulate genuine arousal/sexual desire, which is probably more exciting than "love". If the proper chemical elements are not there, I doubt it's going to happen. Besides who said that intimacy is that strongly connected with being in love? It seems quite the opposite is true at times.

[–]mrshowdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting however I hope this doesn't turn guys into robots memorizing lines

[–]Subhazard 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I've set this up with 3 different women.

Will come back with my results.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Funny thing.

Even if this were 100% accurate, women will only do this with men they want to fuck already.

[–]babybelly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

she totally sounded like that

[–]_rs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm hoping this is obvious this is obvious to everybody here!

[–]Radox_Redux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It won't work with somebody fat and/or noticeably physical disabled. You can guarantee it.

Perhaps the guy, if he's beta and thirsty enough, but otherwise it's a no go.

[–]anothercarguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This proves plenty of fish

[–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Very interesting questions. It seems that the purpose is to connect emotionally and not sexually.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Which is why it is a good way to sell yourself to a girl as her emotionally validating Beta Bux

[–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda funny how RP connects beta bux with emotion as its huge part of the Sex Method

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you take care of the arousal early on and give her some heart-pounding, bed-shaking sex, she'll be looking to fall in love with you.

The questions here would make that happen easily. It's just accelerated comfort, not unlike the 7-hour rule and time dilation from visiting multiple places in a short window of time.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]tyofwa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, time to summon Eddie Murphy raw orgasm scene.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there are risks involved in this method of the 4 minute stare. One is that you might develop a oneitis for a girl that you do this thing with. Two, the questions need to be asked carefully, or not even asked at all, so that you do not become seen as potential beta bux by her. Talking about get-to-know-your-life-and-dreams-and-aspirations is shit that a girl would prefer to do when sitting with her friendzoned nice guy who she views like a brother or her idiot beta bux boyfriend who she's cheating on. As an experienced alpha male, this girl is just another bitch in your notch, and you should not give a fuck about her to ask her questions about what she thinks the value of friendship is. If you do ask those questions, and continue revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings to her, she's going to see you as a beta bux. Think about it, would a man who has fucked many women put a single girl on a pedestal and start asking and caring about her personal life/ revealing his own feelings? Of course not. He would maintain attraction through flirting and escalating and taking her back to his place to fuck, for he knows that there is nothing special about this girl. Also, the girl in the situation also knows subconsciously that a player/experienced man would not ask her these philosophical questions either because why the hell would he care about another pussy that much when he is spinning 5 other plates?

If you treat a woman like a normal person and tell them about your life/ ask about their life like you would to any person you are not sexually interested in, she will interact with you as just a normal person. If you treat her like a sexual being and flirt with her, she will also treat you like a sexual being.

Basically if you want to become a Beta Bux t a woman you are asking these questions to, then go ahead and do it.

[–]AllOrDeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't this contradict the accepted mansophere maxim that desire is not negotiable?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This article only frustrates me because it reminds me of how many queues I am missing out because of my bad vision. I will see a friend watch a girl from across the room and apparently shes doing the same and boom he's over there talking to here. Ill see something I like and "apparently" shes looking back at my but I can't see her so I miss those queues and usually just go for it anyway, but I can't help but wonder how much of this action I have missed thus far lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

  2. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

  3. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

  4. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

  5. What do you value most in a friendship?

  6. What is your most terrible memory?

  7. What does friendship mean to you?

  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

This is the male shit test. Or at least the gender-neutral shit test.

[–]NakedAndBehindYou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have pasted the direct link because this link deserves to be popular.

I don't think this lets you break the rules...

[–]oldmantrp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I have a date on thursday. I showed her the link. She's willing to go through the questions with me.

Will report back.

[–]_rs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I showed her the link

NOOOOOOOOO

If would have been better for you if you didn't it....

[–]SwagYoloJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm taking this on a Tinder date tomorrow, will update you guys with the results.

[–]SidechainZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has actually been known for a long time.

It is an old PUA technique called building rapport. You ask rapport building questions like these.

It is even in the old mystery method.

[–]Gold_Mouth -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

So you just use the lines and people fall in love with you? Like those three weird questions that can make any woman instantly wet?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that is EXACTLY how it works. Lines -> Wet

[–]Gioware 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure I am getting this, they fell in love because of intimate questions or what?

[–]PartytimeEscape -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is new and interesting. :|

[–]Aok4twentay -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

Commenting to revisit this when im not sitting in the bathroom.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hit the save link underneath the post. When your're ready, go to your user page (click your user name in the top right). There you will see saved items as a menu option.