TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

151

Both sides of this argument have it wrong.

It is easy for women to claim that sex shouldn't contribute to your self-worth, because the majority of women receive or have received minimally sustaining (sexual) attention at some point in their lives. You don't have to be anything special to get cat-called or simply looked at. Whether women consciously realize it or not, they have been sexually validated since they first grew tits (and society tells them via media "tits are sexy") and got looked at.

Men, on the other hand, don't. (Sexual) attention, both direct and indirect, is not a given unless you are at least of average attractiveness. It's a blessing and a curse ⁠— men can be valued for their abilities alone, whereas historically women have been expected to be decent looking in order for their accomplishments to be taken seriously...

For the vast majority, sex is a basic human need. Being sexually desired is validating, and it should be, given that it validates the competence to fulfill a basic human need. Thankfully, though, it is not the only human need. As such, our self worth is determined by a myriad of other contributing factors. See Maslow's hierarchy of needs we all know and love.

In a world where casual sex was not so normalized and rampant, I might argue that the obsession to accomplish casual sex is a symbol of mental illness, but it actually makes sense in this day and age. However, those who argue that the "only" thing that would make them truly happy and fulfilled is "ramming hoes like Chadwick" either have never fucked a pussy in their entire life or simply have a few screws loose, perhaps has a result of that scarcity. When you are able to fulfill your basic need of attaining sex and intimacy, perhaps "ramming hoes like Chadwick" is an extra benefit you'd like to experience, but to hinge your entire mental wellbeing and sense of self worth on just that ONE thing very clearly shows you have bigger problems to work through. Ramming will not fix those problems.


[–]GalliendI simply live with the pain81 points82 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not about the sex itself, but the ability to have sex.

Because being a man with whom women want to have sex with is essentially the fundamental realization of the masculine gender role, you can't really get around the fact that sex validates you as a successfully masculine person. But being that man is what it's really about, which is about so much more than sex. It's about fitness, lifestyle, career, social life, and all sorts of other things that aren't sex specifically.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. You get it.

Some dumb shits think that high n count is a successful guy, but I know LTR only Chads and these guys are in very high demand yet their n count is no higher than average

[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Uh what?

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater62 points63 points  (102 children) | Copy Link

Finally a fucking reasonable opinion.

I have friends who try to go for casual and even if they're hot it's a struggle they suck at but it's an obsession. I also have friends who have fucking given up even if we set him up. The current SMP is brutal for a lot of guys and the shit I pull just to even get a phone number is some clown shoes ass shit sometimes.

It's not healthy and the men it produces are not healthy. I'm not a woman so I can't speak for women but this shit fucking breaks a lot of dudes. But even the dudes who do find other shit I would not call healthy or validated for it.

I'd go so far as to say that yeah, a lot of it is bigger problems than getting laid. But your problem with the opposite sex can crack out and turn into those bigger problems they become.

[–]xXxINCELFAGGOTxXxj6q34fdtfcw35213 points14 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

One of my friends has been struggling so hard, he had to go on a trip from Europe to South Korea, to fuck a girl that is shorter than him. He's 5'2.

I ain't even making that up.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope10 points11 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Well, girls shorter than 5'2 are not inexistent among white people. And I mean adults.

[–]xXxINCELFAGGOTxXxj6q34fdtfcw3526 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I know some, but being that short, even for a woman is just not attractive.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Well, yeah, few women that short are attractive.

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

As an American, I disagree. 5’2 woman have lots of options because they clear most men’s “not taller than me” standard.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Does not mean they are as attractive.

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

It depends. Some men find short women more attractive. Male height preferences vary more than female height preferences though.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I mean, it's rare when a shorter body looks as smooth.

[–]Shadesbane432 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you're talking out of your ass. I know a girl who's 4'6" and fine as hell. Short chicks can be attractive.

[–]TheChaddius 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wtf are you talking about, 5' isn't abnormal for a girl. Its only below that that is rare.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So? You don't disagree with me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My bad, I reread what you said and realized I missed "INexistent" .. not inenexistant is funny English.. not common

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most western girls shorter than 5'2 have dwarfism.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought adult people of height between 4'10 and 5'2 are more common than adult people below 4'10 height.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this shit fucking breaks a lot of dudes

yup.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

the shit I pull just to even get a phone number is some clown shoes ass shit sometimes.

Is it worth it?
Wouldn't that time be better spent learning to play an instrument?
Writing a book about the biology of cryptofuckasauruses?
I'd rather watch paint dry than to put on a dog and pony show for a chick who's going to dump me the moment Chad winks in her general direction.

[–]eboy4hire2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You've got a point, but at the same time, you're a pussy. Choosing to make approaching women a hobby of yours does not take up that much time or energy.

[–]AI_WAIFUtake the weebpill1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

you're a pussy

This is a fair point, but one of the perks of not putting up with women's bullshit is that you've stopped interacting with the people who will hold that against you.

As long as you're not a bitch in your professional life, it doesn't matter.

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, but there's another level. Realize that no one will hold anything against you, and that people don't say shit to your face even if they do. If you're in a good mood and give people good vibes, they don't give a fuck what you did before. They're more worried about their shit. As for "not putting up with women's bullshit", I can't see how that benefits you. You can frame it in that manly way like you're standing up to women, but all you're doing is abstaining from talking to them. I think it's good that you're probably well-versed in MGTOW and red pill things that could go wrong, but beyond that, just watch out for those things, and go talk to women; not expecting or investing too much.

[–]AI_WAIFUtake the weebpill1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As for "not putting up with women's bullshit", I can't see how that benefits you.

It's all about opportunity costs, for me in my current situation, "go talk to women" requires me to go pretty far out of my way. However, you're right in the sense that it doesn't make sense to straight up avoid women. IRL most are nice and sane human beings. A more optimal policy is to interact with them like you would anyone else, and to apply social sanctions when they try to shape your behaviour.

[–]eboy4hire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're aware of all this stuff, you'll shake the "trying to influence your behavior" right off.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a "pussy" because conflict is generally high risk, no reward for me.
Unless it's something critical or life threatening I'm far better suited to just bail out of that shit.

[–]eboy4hire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't have to do any clown shit when you approach women. Just walk up and talk to a woman. She's not going to pepper spray you or do anything crazy. You'll probably just have a friendly conversation, you'll ask for her number and she'll give it to you, then you'll never hear from her again. That's the worst case scenario.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, that's been my problem a while.

[–]eboy4hire3 points4 points  (70 children) | Copy Link

Dude, phone numbers are easy. Just have a conversation, and then ask for their number in an insistent way. Like ask: "What's your number?" or just say "Give me your number." Try to avoid saying "Could I have your number?" and things like that, but sometimes that works too. The real test is the number to close rate, which for me is very very slim. I can get a number like 90% of the time.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 22 points23 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Getting a number doesn't mean anything when she doesn't text you back or ever meet up with you again

Sincerely, a girl who will give her number to anyone who asks

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

a girl who will give her number to anyone who asks

Why?

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Probably because people are asking for her number "in an insistent way". I'm not trying to start a fight here, but I never wanna see you again and I want to drink this beer in peace.

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

At least give a fake one? That dude can still harass you after leaving if he has your number

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

that doesn't work anymore, guys call u right then and there to verify its your number

ladies, get a google voice number :D

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

guys call u right then and there to verify its your number

Now THAT is creepy. What kind of low self esteem guy thinks of doing that... smh

Imagine chatting up a woman and calling her number to see if she lied to you, and hearing "Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"

I'd laugh and take the hint that she wasn't into me.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ostensibly they usually do it so that "You will have their number too", but...

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would text to do that... calling on the spot for a possible Gotcha! moment seems weird

I've never asked for a number like that so I don't know what these guys do today

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Now that I think of it, even when I say "Could I have your number?" they still don't say no and just ghost later because girls are a bunch of little bitches. lmao

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao!

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anyone who makes enough conversation to get my number in a socially integrated way deserves to have it. It’s my prerogative whether or not I follow up. I’m aware it’s a numbers game for men. If I don’t respond, they’ve already sent out 10 identical texts to other numbers they’ve acquired, so I don’t feel bad for not responding. If they left enough of an impression on me with our conversation, I will 100% respond. If they text with intriguing enough of a proposition for meeting up again, I will 100% respond. I am willing to give people a chance to prove themselves later. Obviously “hey” does nothing for me.

[–]eboy4hire2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeh that's what I'm sayin.

[–]kimberpill 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Give a fake number next time for your future peace of mind's sake.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not much effort to block unsolicited dick pics. I just say no if he’s awful enough to warrant a fake number. Don’t want to waste his time if I’m THAT disinterested.

[–]LeJacquelopeHaving a son is child abuse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I give thanks to God that America is free and safe enough that some women out there feel they can do this and not fear for their well being. I ain't a feminist but this is how we make America great.

[–]sogol19905 points6 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

this is harassment, putting pressure on women to get numbers, a lot of women fear violence and harassment from men specially when they ask directly and in a demanding way, thats why hey give numbers to avoid making the man angry.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope7 points8 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

Just asking for a number is not pressure.

[–]sogol19907 points8 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

just search womens opinion and also how many of them have seen men turn super angry right before their eyes when they were rejected, so many women give numbers due to the fear of provoking men and the risk of assault.

[–]adool6661 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not that common. Every woman will say it happened just to fit in.

[–]sogol19900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thats male projection right there, mansplaining and invalidating women s experiences. you can believe whatever you want but you dont have the right to cross other people s boundaries no matter what.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope4 points5 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Okay, getting angry is different.

Just because a man asks for a number does not mean he'll get angry. In that case a man does not harass anyone.

[–]sogol19904 points5 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

someone with no respect to other peoples boundaries that gets angry by rejection have a high chance of becoming violent.

having just one experience of this kind is enough to rewire women s brains to be wary of all men approaching them for the rest of their lives, and we know this is far more prevalent than just a one time experience. please read women s experiences. men hugely underestimate sexual harassment frequency.

(sorry for using the word(experience) too much, lol)

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

gets angry by rejection have a high chance of becoming violent.

How would you know that a man would get angry from rejection if you don't reject him by saying "no, I won't give out my number"?

[–]sogol19901 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

there is no way to know, since so many nice men turned bitter and angry before our eyes(so many women have had this experience), its enough to make us cautious about the rest of them. asking in a demanding way,sure threatens women, why its hard for you to use (may I have...) instead of giving orders and demanding??

[–]skystar865 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I'm not attracted to these angry bitter men. Why don't they just say either change back to the way you were or I'm not dating you?

[–]eboy4hire2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I get kinda angry after rejection but I try not to show it. I just get mad at myself for not being good enough, but also kind of mad at the girl too for not thinking I'm good enough, and I just dwell over that when I'm alone. Eventually I sleep it off.

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad the majority of women do not have the traumatic experiences you're describing here.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Well, a man still has nothing to with other men being freaks. He wants a number, he asks.

Sometimes women are interested and give real numbers, so it's not like they are against any man hitting on them.

[–]sogol19903 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

oh, maybe you misunderstood me, I meant the way he promote asking women s number was harassment not the actual request, he said :

then ask for their number in an insistent way. Like ask: "What's your number?" or just say "Give me your number." Try to avoid saying "Could I have your number?" and things like that

[–]rus9384Misanthrope4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Well, beggars ask for money in the same manner. It's not like people see that as an assault.

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I still get numbers when I ask "Could I have your number?" and then I still get ghosted. Girls can still tell me "Sorry, I have a boyfriend." and then I leave.

[–]eboy4hire1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

There's no pressure, it's just that you should ask it in a more confident way. You can't be like: "ummm,, could I pleeeplepleeease have your nu-nu--unumber?" I'm not trying to suggest I would be violent if they don't give me their number. I just have a conversation and then I'm like "I'd like to talk again, what's your number?" 99.9% of the time cold approaches for me have resulted in being ghosted and it's not because of the way I ask for numbers I'm pretty sure.

[–]sogol19904 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is different than what your first comment implied. avoiding stuttering is important, being demanding is not.

so many men mistake arrogance with confidence, imagine some huge dude asks you about giving your number in a demanding way while he is in your face or towering over you(give me your number!!)

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah there's no shouting or yelling at them. I just ask it in a normal way that tries to put their mind away from the word no. They still totally have the option to say no, but it's harder to say no to "What's your number?" than "Could I have your number?" With "Could I have your number?" there's clear options to say yes or no, but with "What's your number?" you kinda gotta step back and think for a second if you're trying to say no and most people are too lazy to make no an option to people asking in that way. Just a little psychological sales trick.

so many men mistake arrogance with confidence, imagine some huge dude asks you about giving your number in a demanding way while he is in your face or towering over you(give me your number!!)

I'm the type of dude who would stand up to that huge dude because I never want to look weak. lol

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't think cold approach even works. I rarely see it in real life and don't know anyone that actually got any success with it. PUAs use it to sell it to shut-ins since they don't have any friends in the first place who could set them up. They create this elusive goal that if only these guys were good enough at cold approach they'd have success. So they keep buying their shit

The odd girl I've ever had has come from being in the same social environment or something (school or camp)

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Cold approach has worked for me once thus far. I agree that there's no "being good" at it. I think you just gotta keep spamming until something sticks.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's inneficient.

Far better to spend the same time to make as many friends as possible and hit on the girls in the extended social groups. The girls start off more comfortable this way compared to strangers and you improve your odds of getting a bite.

Plus it's more fun to live your life having fun and meeting girls that way rather than going out of your way looking for women and making the pursuit your main pass time

[–]tnais 1 points [recovered]  (20 children) | Copy Link

Better to give her your number rather than asking for hers IMO

[–]Karmanger1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

I have never had a girl call first when I’ve given my number first.

[–]tnais 1 points [recovered]  (18 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like didn’t make an indelible impression on those women

[–]Karmanger2 points3 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

I guess girls make out with just anybody.

On a side note when I have asked for their number first I have been considerably more successful.

[–]tnais 1 points [recovered]  (16 children) | Copy Link

Correct— making out and getting phone numbers doesn’t really mean anything. Out of all the women whose numbers you’ve received, how many of them did you sleep with? How many make outs have led to sex?

[–]Karmanger0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

Looking at my phone book plus tinder, id say about 80% success rate with asking for a number. those always led to dates

There was only 1 girl who called me when I gave out my number. They saw it as non-masculine.

[–]tnais 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy Link

You have sex with 4 out of the 5 women whose numbers you receive?

[–]Karmanger2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Correct. Getting the number is the challenge.

[–]Futureman999 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

I might argue that the obsession to accomplish casual sex is a symbol of mental illness, but it actually makes sense in this day and age.

We kind of painted ourselves into an intimacy corner with hookup culture or marriage then no fault divorce as the only two options.

In my experience the first is barely better than masturbation. In the second option if you're male, you can work decades and lose it all because she's lost that lovin' feelin'.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Expecting monogamy in this day and age is futile.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

she's lost that lovin' feelin'.

Or she ain't never had it to start.

[–]eboy4hire1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tfw your name is John. feelsbadman

[–]ThatcherReeves19 points20 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

When you’re not having any sex at all for a long period of time it becomes a big deal. Sex isnt the most important thing to someone who as access but it is to the person who has no access and isn’t getting their needs met

[–]i_amtheice13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Having pussy ain't everything. Not having it is. --- Kanye West

[–]adool6661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't need yo' pussy bitch I'm on my own dick

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Scarcity is in the title

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that's me right now.

[–]BobJuan09020 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

I never really understood why so many people value sex so much. Oh yeah big deal you get a ten second-minute orgasm. I could spend that time doing something so much more productive, model making, drawing, working, volunteering.

The time it takes to add another person in your life and the amount of compromise you have to make for said other person is ridiculous. You can live a much more fulfilling and productive life by cutting dating and sex out of the picture.

[–]ekmetzgerTalleyrand's Ghost20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much all research on this topic points to the opposite conclusion. Sex is vital to a healthy brain state and reported states of well being. Humans are social animals, intimacy is a requirement, not a suggestion.

Also having a romantic partner isn't that difficult. At its best, it's quite breezy. You're making it seem like having a relationship is some monumental task that drains all life out of you and turns you into a husk. That's not realistic, and it ignores the multitudes of benefits closeness and intimacy give you.

[–]BobJuan0902-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Intamacy takes time out of work, takes money, and leeches your ability to work effectively.

My last three relationships have ended because despite me telling them I have no time for a relationship they wanted to go out. So I did and they got mad at me for not dedicating time to them.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's more than the sex, it's the connection, the experience, the having someone there, the mutual enjoyment, not so much the validation which can be quite overrated as it is the sense of having someone into like that and being there, the sense of well, love.

[–]LillthOfBabylon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That sounds like someone who’s confusing love with lust. Thats not good.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like love to me.......

[–]BobJuan09022 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Love is one of those worthless fluffy feelings that make you do things no sane person would do and that you wouldn't normally do. And then on top of that we celebrate such actions as that of a hero.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you and I have different ideas of that.

[–]screamifyouredriving4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't cut yourself on all that edge bro just because you are too busy with your anime to have an irl waifu doesn't mean everyone agrees

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

He's busy with anime bc he doesn't have an irl waifu. You're mixing cause and effect there bro.

[–]BotThatSaysBro3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

bro 😎💪

[–]BobJuan0902-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been in several relationships and they all ended because I didnt want to put time into them.

[–]screamifyouredriving5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok so clearly it's not a priority for you. Glad we established that.

[–]sunshinecentered28 points29 points  (59 children) | Copy Link

Most girls got sexually harassed by adult men for the first time long before they had tits.

If you had used men actually hitting on women instead of men harassing them I would have agreed with your point.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

If you had used men actually hitting on women instead of men harassing them I would have agreed with your point.

One of the bigger lessons I got from a smokeshow of a girlfriend is that yeah, she got hit on all the time, but never by men she wanted to hit on her.

[–]sunshinecentered23 points24 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Most of the dudes that hit on me I don’t want to hit on me. That’s not what I’m talking about. I respect a guy who comes up to shoot his shot. A guy who screams something about tits out of his window is not on the same level

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

No shit.

I think that kind of shit is pathetic.

But....I've not hit on women who clearly wanted me to hit on them. For some dudes, that's actually a bigger problem.

[–]uniqueeleniNo Pill2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why do you think that happens?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fear. Anti-man brainwashing. Etc.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's simple, autism affects men and women differently.

Women with autism actually become more outspoken even if they are introverted.

Men with autism become more shy and locked-in.

[–]sunshinecentered1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope, not true. This is my research field. What you’re seeing is the comorbidity of autism and adhd which causes introverted autistics to be more outspoken.

Female autistics typically learn better social skills than male autistics because the behaviors are seen as more problematic in little girls than in little boys.

[–]eboy4hire4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

So are you saying you don't want the guy to hit on you, but at the same time you respect that he's got the balls to shoot his shot?

[–]Tie5o1116 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She's really not. She's saying she respects a man who confidently and respectfully approaches her, but does not want all the other garbage attention like catcalls, etc.

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whether he "confidently and respectfully" approaches her simply is based on how physically attractive he is.

[–]sunshinecentered7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes I am. I’m in an LTR so I don’t want or need any guy to hit on me. But no dude can just sense that’s so they’ll come shoot their shot, I’ll respectfully decline and we will all move on. I don’t hold it against them for trying.

Meanwhile catcalling is gross and I’m not going to be respectful of that.

See the difference yet?

[–]eboy4hire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I understand that.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, she does not want it to happen, but still respects them even though that happens.

It's like a warrior still can respect his enemy, while not wanting that person to be his enemy.

[–]Tie5o111 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're missing the point. Re-read again, and think critically here.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, I got it right. You can respect people's traits for commiting acts you don't like.

[–]BobJuan09025 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I get sexually harrassed all the time for having a feminine body. I am a man. Trust me it sounds great up until you actually experiance it.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Were women who harassed you attractive? What did you feel?

[–]BobJuan09025 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Harrassed by men I always feel creeped out. The men are the absolute worst about it and will usually the most creepy about it.

The women who do are usually average looking but I am still creeped out.

Either way I always feel violated that people seem to think they just have free access to my body, as well as that they can just say whatever they want about it, no matter how weird and degenerate.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Harrassed by men I always feel creeped out.

Oh, being harassed by men as a straight man is different.

I got used to actual negative comments. Do you think I'd care about positive comments, aka harassment?

[–]BobJuan09021 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

No but would you care when people grab your chest and ass as if you belong to them?

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, I had my ass grabbed by an attractive classmate when I was 13. The only negative thought I had is that it looks gay, but now I don't think it looks gay, and don't care.

[–]BobJuan09021 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well that happens on a daily/weekly basis for me and it loses its charm very quickly

[–]rus9384Misanthrope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perhaps. It's not better than being hitted by women anyway. When men do that it is bad (for a straight man), I think, yeah.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 11 points12 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

There are men here who wished they got any form of sexual attention, including harassment. Further, the line between "hit on" and "harassment" and even "assault" has become so subjectively defined in 2019 there is no collective consensus on definition anymore.

[–]sunshinecentered18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Catcalling is definitively just harassment by the meaning of the word. That’s all I was getting at. Men started flashing and catcalling me long before I hit puberty or had defined breasts. So perhaps you didn’t mean catcalling. Nbd I was just mentioning the part that I couldn’t agree with while the rest i did.

Catcalling doesn’t sexually validate me because it happened as much to me when I was prepubescent as it does now, it happens when men can’t actually “see” me, and it really has nothing to do with me. But I’ll be honest, men actually hitting on me is sexually validating

[–]uniqueeleniNo Pill8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think that old men (40-70) started hitting on me (like cold approaching me and asking for my number) or assaulting me (trying to rub their disgusting penis against my knee in the bus) when I was 13. By 18 I had been followed at night at least half a dozen of times (some with friends and some alone). It is also not a rare occurrence, all my female friends have had similar experiences.

I think men don’t understand how scary and humiliating that can be, especially for younger girls. I remember when I was on the bus and this old man kept trying to grope me when I was 14 and my male classmates that were there would make fun of me for it like “lol uniqueeleni you are very successful with men”. The thing is we can easily be overpowered by most men, so we can’t really stand up for ourselves. Only try to go away and hope for the best.

It was never a validating experience at all.

[–]sunshinecentered4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was flashed for the first time at age 8. Grown men started cat calling me maybe a year after that. I was a gymnast so I really didn’t hit visible puberty (boobs/hips) until maybe 12-13. It was after I hit puberty that boys my own age started flirting with me.

But the men catcalling and harassing occurred long before then. How could I possibly be validated by things that were quite traumatizing.

[–]SmurfESmurferson12 points13 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

I was 8 the first time a grown ass man told me what he wanted to do to me sexually

[–]WingedSword_15 points16 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

We call that pedophilia... and it's a crime.

[–]SmurfESmurferson7 points8 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

That’s a normal female experience. There’s a reason all women on here regard male sexuality as predatory

[–]SerorimanCombat-grade nerd9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean it is. It's just that normal men have it on a tight leash - and yes, we should definitely judge those who don't and cross boundaries like these.

[–]ReachForTheSky_Prozac5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

'Predator' in a sexually selective sense is the role that nature and society has given man, for better or worse. If it wasn't predatory birth rates would go through the floor, because women sure aren't in pursuit when it comes to dating. Besides, what woman finds a 'prey-like' man attractive?

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Besides, what woman finds a 'prey-like' man attractive?

Outliers exist, but they are just that.

[–]ReachForTheSky_Prozac0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I took that for granted.

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

“There’s a reason all women on here regard male sexuality as predatory”

No, not all of them do. You just keep trying to rally up the ones who do while ignoring the women who disagree.

“Men are disproportionately predatory” is not the same thing as male sexuality being predatory.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot-1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

no, virtually all women feel this way lol. its why we go to bathrooms together and meet any man talking to our friend in a bar with a level of suspicion

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

You still haven’t disproven my point. I said not all women on this sub (or everywhere else) think male sexuality is predatory. Several women on here have expressed their disagreement with her over the various times that she’s parroted her “male sexuality is predatory” shtick.

A woman can guard herself against strange men and think men are more likely to prey on her without thinking that male sexuality is inherently and universally predatory. That’s a distinct ideological position.

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

i think even the women who say they don't aren't being self-reflective enough to realize that they do

no one said "inherently and universally" predatory btw lol why do you guys have to exaggerate things instead of arguing against whats actually said

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

This is tricky. Are we talking about subconscious prejudices? If so, people can have prejudices which don’t reflect what they believe intellectually.

If I’m out at night and I see a 6’10 man, I will like prejudge him as a potential threat. But I don’t intellectually believe that 6’10 men are inherently predisposed to be threats.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can't define male sexuality according to 1% of men, a small percentage of men are predatory, a small percentage of women are predatory, the rest are just normal.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Actual sexual activity with children is a crime. Being attracted to prepubescent children and not having sexual activity with them is not a crime.

You can't negotiate attraction.

[–]SkookumTreeRomantic relationships aren't necessary for happiness!0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. If you are attracted to children you’re warped, but you need to act on it to be a criminal.

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

As much as women will say they got it before that point, that doesnt stop that you're right.

I've been in situations of total silence and denial in a lot of ways besides just romantic or sexual. You jump into obvious bad situations because at that point it looks better than nothing.

This isn't even some guy thing. I love brining up that blod post about the ugly 25+ white woman who went to Japan for like a year and got no interest because she basically went crazy and tried to provoke cat calling by the end because she couldn't deal with whats basically the default male experience. And when she couldn't get even that something very obviously broke in her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

lol, sounds entertaining, can you post a link?

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is what happens when the demand for women collapses, a value of an average western woman suddenly collapses to that of an average man, and the reality becomes really grim really fast.

[–]BobJuan09021 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I get sexually harrassed all the time for having a feminine body. I am a man. Trust me it sounds great up until you actually experiance it.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am a young hot female and get "harassed" on a daily basis because I live in a major city. It can be flattering and it can be terrifying

[–]HennythepainawayI don't even like Henny9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I disagree with this, because I really do think most of your validation as well as your confidence should come from within. I know it's easier said than done.

I also know having a cool job, hot wife, tons of money can bring you a lot of validation, but I feel that if that's how you measure yourself that's not really ideal. Maybe my idea on how a person should live is weird, but I think you strive to be a person who can be happy as a pauper or a billionaire. If you rely on certain things to boost you up, where does it leave you if those things go away?

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree that your confidence comes from within but from where does the confidence itself derive its meaning? Having confidence without anything to show for it is just hot gas. You gain confidence on the basis of your abilities, which may manifest as physical things like assets and intangible things like experiences you have in your life.

[–]HennythepainawayI don't even like Henny1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do agree that solid confidence is built off of prior success. That's how it worked for me, but at some point my worth was entirely centered on what I achieved and the future it was building towards. When I stumbled a bit, I lost a good deal of confidence because I couldn't reconcile it with my failings.

So yes I have nothing against building confidence though your abilities, but at some point they shouldn't have a 1 to 1 equivalence. It should morph from external things like promotions, getting laid a bunch etc to more internal factors. So if you do stumble, you are able to get back up easier.

[–]phoneybetamaniaSimpin' Ain't Easy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

it’s not that as much as it is as you age you typically have more prior accomplishments to hang your hat on when you stumble

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

See, I agree with that and it's a nice idea, but I think culturally, things are so out of line with that and the general values, people don't know better.

[–]adool6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post isn't talking about how it should be. It's talking about what is.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

(Sexual) attention, both direct and indirect, is not a given unless you are at least of average attractiveness.

My only effort to change your view is that you need to be above average as a man, not just average. Obtaining duty sex remains easy. Obtaining casual sex is non trivial.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

My only effort to change your view is that you need to be above average as a man, not just average.

How many men can be above average before the average goes up though?

Lack of critical thinking and logic on PPD is amazing. The more men strive to become "above average", the higher the bar and the closer it becomes to a t-distribution.

It's a "rich get richer and poor get poorer" type of situation.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The more men strive to become "above average", the higher the bar and the closer it becomes to a t-distribution.

Thus it has always been. Embrace the challenge.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

So what is your proposed validation model?

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 1 point2 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Maslow's hierarchy of needs works pretty well. I like the Japanese concept of Ikigai to flesh out the self-actualization component.

Ultimately [the ability to achieve] sex is necessary but not sufficient.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but self actualization is individual 🤷🏻‍♂️

If someone wants to be a Chad it could be the actual way to happiness according to you.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Firstly, Maslow's hierarchy of needs places sex below self-actualization.

Perhaps we have different understandings of self-actualization. When I say self-actualization, I mean achieving one's maximum potential as sentient being, not just a procreating mammal or even a member of society.

Ideally that maximally potentiating way of being fulfills ikigai: a unique talent of yours, something you love, something that the world needs, and something that can sustain you financially. "Being Chad" is too one-dimensional to even qualify as a self-actualizing goal, unless you aspire to be the male version of Belle Delphine, or maybe a male actress-singer-dancer-model.

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You're basically just policing what you think self actualization should be.

What if I already self actualized and I just want to cum in dumb broads?

Who are you to police this?

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Bro you asked me what my proposed model of validation was. Here it is. You asked for this lmao

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, to point out the flaw in your post. It's basically concern trolling 🤷🏻‍♂️/ moralizing.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So strange to hear a self proclaimed red use such lefty language as "policing"

Can't tell what part is trolling anymore

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I'm saying is clear. What you think or anyone thinks should be self actualization is wrong. Self actualization is determined by the person themself and is a result of their value systems.

The person who thinks their goal in life is to help impoverished children in Africa is the same as the guy who thinks his goal in life is to gizz into women religiously.

Self actualization is perceptual.

You conflated this by trying to point out that sex was "lower" on maslow's, but this doesn't change anything. All you're pointing out is how incels manifest their problems, because sex is low on the needs.

This doesn't change whether or not someone wants to place some part of sex on the top of their pyramid.

This argument isn't really any different than other blue pill arguments which assert that men with high SMV that are popular are "low status" because they don't have jobs high in the MSM.

[–]tnais 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Those two needs aren’t mutually exclusive. I spent my 20s essentially striving to become a guy that could get laid consistently. It was a deeply fulfilling experience because of all the experiences, failures, and successes I had along the way.

I was 105 lbs at 5’8 when I started. Now I’m lean and muscular at 160 lbs. I had anxiety issues talking to strangers so I worked in door to door sales for 6 months to learn how to talk to strangers. I didn’t know how to meet women from online dating so I spent years experimenting with different ways to present myself until I went from 1 date per month to 1-5 dates per week. I didn’t know how to flirt with women so I went on literally hundreds of first dates until I became more comfortable with my sexuality.

I basically spent a decade “leveling up” all of these critical life skills which not only helped me learn how to get laid with attractive women whenever I wanted; they also just helped me be a better, healthier person in general. Even when I wasn’t getting much success, my self-esteem was always abnormally high just from the journey, and believing that each failure along the way was one step closer towards becoming the man I wished I was.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Y’all lack reading comprehension skills. “Below” != less important, in fact, “below” on a pyramid = more important. I’m making the argument that you need ALL needs met, from bottom to top, to be fully validated. Work on being a fuller person, a person women would want to fuck, rather than work to find sex itself. We’re saying the exact same things in different ways...

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

a unique talent of yours

So exceptionalism then. Except we live in a global world being increasingly automatized.

Cast out a net and you will find 100 people better than you.

Men also have to work to feed themselves and get kicked out of the house earlier than women (or are seen as manchildren).

You try competing with Chad while working 8 hours a day and starting with a genetic disadvantage.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

There will always be someone better, faster, stronger, smarter than you. We are ALL just optimizing with what we got. Who said it was a competition? It’s about finding your own meaning, not trying to beat someone else at theirs.

Your victim mentality is what makes you an inferior person, not your genetics or your circumstances.

[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's always great when women, who don't have to compete, tell men how all of this competition is good.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ultimately [the ability to achieve] sex is necessary but not sufficient.

I completely agree. The way most young men talk about casual sex these days is like how addicts talk about drugs. Once a man knows that he is attractive enough to get sex, then he should start pursuing other, more fulfilling goals

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I like the Japanese concept of Ikigai

Japan is 40% incel mate...

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Reading comprehension mate. Sex comes before self actualization on Maslow’s pyramid. Focusing on one part of what I wrote to make a non contextualized point is veryyyyyy big minded of you 😂

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nobody claims that fucking hoes will make men happy. As for trp it is said time and time again to find your purpose, work on yourself, improve physically and mentally etc and socialize. And then fuck some hoes

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lots of depressed young men on PPD claim exactly that. I didn't assert anything about TRP. If anything this post is aligned with advice given by TRP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Those are the incels in disguise

[–]Plopolok1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your title is about "sex" as the only or most important thing, then in your post it becomes "ramming hoes like Chadwick". I agree that people who absolutely need a lot of hoe-ramming to feel validated have mental issues (whether they manage to do the ramming or not), but they're a tiny minority. That's not what men generally complain about.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, it’s not. But it’s what men on PPD often write. This post is for them.

[–]ToraChan23Red Pill Man1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why do you care how people fulfill their needs?

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read this post and move on with your life if it doesn’t speak to you in a compelling way. I don’t care what you do and how you do it.

[–]welcometothejlRed Pill Man5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can't just rely on sex for validation. Take this advice from Wu Tang Financial, "you need diversify yo bonds, nigga!"

[–]Dantes7layerbeandip 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s incredibly difficult not to when you’re an unintentional virgin at 30 or haven’t even had an LTR by then. That isn’t thankfully my position but I do have a mild autistic best friend who is reaching that age and it’s rough man.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm in my 30s,not a virgin although it's been a while, and like no ltr experience and it scares me.

[–]Akpopo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know, I thought this was a loser incel subreddit turns out it's full of open minded people, I'm subbing

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train6 points7 points  (43 children) | Copy Link

Let’s flip it around.

Women want commitment and companionship. Would you say that women shouldn’t base their self worth on whether a man commits to them?

Spend a little time with single women in their 40s. you won’t see a lot of severe depression and lack of self worth over not having a relationship. Seems women can do it.

I know, I know “it’s not the same.” I’m sure you have 100 reasons what it’s different.

And Fwiw all men do not base their self esteem on sex. It makes sense that when you’re not getting it, you’re laser focused on what you’re missing

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill8 points9 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

“Spend a little time with single women in their 40s. you won’t see a lot of severe depression and lack of self worth over not having a relationship. Seems women can do it.”

I know you already added a caveat, but this is still a bad comparison. Despite what some RPers and some women say, I think most single women in their 40s can get some form of desirable intimacy without a Herculean effort if they know where to look, although it might not come with commitment.

A better comparison would be ugly women, who are more likely to be rejected for any form of intimacy.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

I think the point is that it is possible to arrange your life in such a way that you don’t need people, sex or relationships to validate your worth and existence.

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s possible, but largely in the same way that it’s easier not to worry about money when you have enough money.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I think we all know that is a hell of a lot easier fucking said than done for many people,men or women, they just have different ways of handling it.We live in an age of mass validation, and while I would probably agree with the many criticisms and problems associated with it, you can't deny it's happening and the effect it is having.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

At the end of the day, life ain’t a picnic. you can chose to do the work to rise above or you can chose to not to. I never said it was easy but that shouldn’t be a reason not to try.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

arrange your life in such a way that you don’t need people

Wait a minute

life ain’t a picnic

Do I detect a hint of "you're not entitled to anything" being used in its negative form of "you're an unperson and don't deserve anything"?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did I hit a major nerve or are you just trolling me by responding 8 times to the same comment?

Either way, blocked.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Try what exactly?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Try to rise above the bullshit and learn to like yourself irregardless of others view about you.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah see, While I mostly agree with that, I tried that for the longest time myself, only to end up more alone than usual.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It’s something that every person on the planet struggles with and has to work at. Even chad with his harem. Everyone wants to feel loved and like they belong but even people surrounded by others often don’t because so many human connections are superficial and not genuine. Because people are people. You can’t control their behavior but what you can control is yourself. So focus on what you can control.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, the fact that "Chad has a harem" should be an issue but isn't seen as such, speaks volumes.

No, you can't control their behavior, well, you kind of can, but you can call them out for shittyness and tell them to go screw.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

it is possible to arrange your life in such a way that you don’t need people, sex or relationships to validate your worth and existence.

It's possible to stick your tongue up your ass too, doesn't meant it's feasible or worthwhile.

It would be a lot easier for these men to "arrange their lives in such a way, they don’t need people" if it was done genuinely, not to appease society finding them undesirable.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hate to be the one to break it to you but we’re all expendable. No one is special just for existing.

I mean if you want to spend your life mad cause you ain’t chad be my guest. No skin off my nose.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 8 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Commitment and companionship "is and should be validating, but if it is the only or most important thing, you are in a state of scarcity and/or mental illness." Yes, I would say the exact same thing flipped around.

I am not personally exposed to a lot of single women in their 40s. I believe a single woman who was previously in a committed relationship is not an appropriate analog to the archetype I am painting here. Rather, it would be a single woman in her 40s who was never romantically loved/wanted. I believe she would be depressed. Although I have never interacted with one myself, so I welcome you to provide anecdotal evidence.

I also don't believe all men base their self esteem on sex, just this particular archetype we often get on PPD. I haven't even been here a full year and I've seen countless comments and posts bemoaning how "getting casual sex will fix everything." We've all seen these guys. Being laser focused on what you're missing doesn't mean hinging your entire self worth on it.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You must admit, whether casual sex or regular committed sex, would help A LOT of these dudes work through or handle the problem. It's not the solution, but it'd be a step in right directions. I've noticed this trend in certain circles: Yes, we can sit here and go on and on about dudes, as you put it, laser focusing on all the hot casual action with all the chicks and being a major stud-o!, isn't the best approach. However, this stuff can be taken as A: Expecting people to ignore their natural needs or B: You magically expect everyone to become these like super mature zen masters with this mastery control of their feelings/desires/urges. It just doesn't work that way.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The reason I included scarcity in the title is because I agree with you. I believe sex or the ability to attain it is a fundamental need for most humans so a state of scarcity is a really bad one that deserves attention. These dudes need to care about getting sex, yes; the distinction is that they need to care about improving their lives holistically in such a way that includes sex, not strive for sex alone. Unless you are genetically and socially blessed, the mindset of focusing on only sex will fail you and disappoint you even more. I believe what I'm writing here aligns very much with TRP advice.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. Scarcity of any kind is probably not going to be a good thing. And I mean scarcity of realistic things, food/money/shelter/emotional fullfillment and connection etc. Not this fucking bullshit of "Oh, I don't have the latest iphone and there is no wi-fi here!!!!" type of shit that I see a very not good increase in people doing.

I think there are a few reasons why the discussion of scarcity of sex, kind of worries/freaks people out. First off, pretty much, even with whatever progressive egalitarian bullshit one wants to spout off, pretty much as "the man", you are expected to pull your own in that regard.

The other is, well it's assumed you've already done it by a certain point or done it enough etc. and those who haven't or are behind a little, well that's just a lil TOO much for some parties to handle.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Their issue is low self esteem and they think sex will fix it. Not the other way around.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it would help with the issue though.

[–]TrumpCardStrategy1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sex is just a proxy for being desired and valued as a person

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

And that’s the problem. Take a person who’s disabled and can’t have sex. Are they less of a person?

[–]TrumpCardStrategy1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ideally no, but ask anyone who is and even if on the surface they seem okay with their situation they probably struggle very hard with it

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Of course. I’m saying your best shot at survival in a cold world that treats you as expendable and only valuable if you have something people can take form you is to find peace and value within yourself. Is it fair? Of course not. But you can’t wait for life to become fair before you’re happy.

[–]TrumpCardStrategy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Easier said then done, but I agree. Philosophy is the only way out of the pitnof despair that is existence 😩

[–]eboy4hire3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It makes sense that when you’re not getting it, you’re laser focused on what you’re missing

The weird thing about this argument, is that the only way you could see that somebody doesn't base their self esteem on sex is if they have low self esteem for some other reason. If a dude has high self esteem and gets sex, you can't say for certain that he doesn't get that self esteem from his ability to get sex. You know what I mean?

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

But having low self esteem impedes your ability to “get” sex in the first place. Women aren’t falling over themselves to sleep with woe is me incels. This is even true for women, the ones with very low self esteem often end up with men who are abusers.

It shouldn’t really need to be said among adults that people with healthy self esteem and awareness have healthier interactions and relationships with others.

Make sense?

[–]eboy4hire3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you understand my point though? Like lets say this hypothetical dude gets sex easily, but he has low self esteem because he wants to be the best Basketball player in the world but he's far from that. Then, and only then, could you properly determine that the dude doesn't base his self esteem on sex, because he gets it, and yet he's broken up about himself for some other reason. A guy with perfectly good self esteem could still be basing that on sex, or not be aware of the effects that a lack of sex would have on him. It's a real fucked up self fulfilling prophecy that you're talking about. I don't think self esteem is the sole determinant on whether somebody gets laid or not.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think self esteem is the sole determinant on whether somebody gets laid or not.

Good thing I never said that then.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes. And while I mostly agree, I learned the hard way about low self esteem and women, had I just kept my mouth shut and not spilled all my insecurities out to her, and just appreciated it, we'd have probably been together longer. She was the first girl I slept with btw.

Well, those who end up with abusers is a different story.

[–]Dash_of_islamBidet 4 Life>Toilet paper unwashed proles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Would you really want to be with someone who won't even let you relax around them?

I don't think it's worth the pussy

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I kind of said the same thing.

[–]thatguy3O51 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

85% of women over 40 have children. Plus women tend to have more intimate relationships with their friends, and I obviously don't mean that sexually. It's not rocket science as to why this could be the case.

Commitment and companionship aren't difficult to find in one form or another. If you have a dog, a kid or two, a close group of friends, and some family near by, all those needs can easily be met.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sex isn’t that hard to get either, I guess then. Go to a prostitute.

[–]thatguy3O51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, most places that's extremely dangerous, illegal, and cost prohibitive. I wouldn't really compare having a child and support from your mother to having to solicit expensive illegal services but i guess our disagreement on comparisons is why we're here.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Single woman != single man.

Single women often still fuck around, have FWB and hang out with friends.

Single men often have few to no friends, same for socialization, no FWB.

Single women who have the same situation as single men become quirky cat ladies.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never seen this to be the case but ok

[–]purplepilltimingPurple Pill Man0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah but they are 40 years old, not a 18-35yr old. By then I would hope most people would be enjoying their life regardless of their relationship status. At some point most people move on with their life.

[–]poppy_bluBeware the freight train0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. Because they chose to be happy with their choices and their circumstance. And I think that’s the point.

[–]adool6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you won’t see a lot of severe depression and lack of self worth over not having a relationship. Seems women can do it.

Are you serious? All they do is complain and bitch and play victim.

[–]RandomAttackHelpMe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I uh, can greatly relate.

[–]DoarUnFraier 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sex is not the most important thing in my life, otherwise I wouldn't be doing anything else.

But there's a lot of enjoyment to be found seeing women who are a 5/10 in a good day getting riled up over men telling them to date within their league.

It's funny when these women go out and have even more sex with more Chads who have even less of an incentive to ever commit to them.

Then they end up single moms (that's not funny, poor kids) or they end up as lonely crazy cat ladies (which is actually pretty funny). Or "wine aunts" who maybe bag a few younger men in a confidence rut & in need of some cougar pep-talk.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t see how your comment at all relates to the content of this post. Go to TRP to gloat over Becky retribution.

[–]PadThai420 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“In a state” listen man, wanting and not getting sex isn’t some kind of decree made by you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with you on this, the contemporary men's psyche has been fucked beyond recognition, modern culture as it stands is cursive and absent a large cultural shift we are headed towards stagnation and then depression.

[–]AutoModeratorBiased Against Humans[M] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Attention!

  • You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.

  • For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.

  • If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.

  • OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]goneaway2thewind5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Posts like this only apply to a specific minority of people. The majority of people I know aren't crying about not having sex

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

People who feel that way aren’t inclined to admit it in real life. It usually won’t go over well.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pretty much this. Considered bad manners

[–]ohheyhi99Conflicted Feminist Man, No Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. It’s hilarious how much PPD users imagine that people say what they post on here in their daily lives. Of course most if them don’t.

[–]pngmafia97my type is chadcucks[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know anybody in my life crying about not having sex. I only ever see it on PPD.

[–]LillthOfBabylon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For the 1000th time, sex is not a need just because you desperately want it. That’s an addiction and/or a very unhealthy way of thinking. Might you as well say “I NEED CRACK!”. The same feeling and desperation.

[–]redditsagrandoltimePurple Pill Woman-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I totally agree

[–]redditsagrandoltimePurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oopsie scoodles, I haven'tupdated my user-flaire yet.. and I.. III'm not doin' it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter