Another reddit user recently pointed out something frightening I’d like to explore that I hadn’t thought about for awhile: Women, as a whole, are generally very, very good at lying. Seriously talented at lying. Scarily good at it.
A woman has the uncanny ability to tell you an outright, bald-faced lie – a complete 180 degree rotation from the truth – and do so with a straight face, slow and deliberate speech with no unusual inflections, good eye contact, and slow and steady breathing. Absolutely no indications of her poor relationship with the truth. She could probably even pass a lie detector test. This could be a generally good, honest girl, normal in every way, who can spit out a complete and utter falsehood, and look and sound like she actually believes it.
In fact, some of us around here have postulated that she really does believe her own lie. That somehow, her mind has rewritten history so that she really didn’t cheat on you, or she really has only slept with two other guys, or that she’s definitely on the pill and takes it religiously at the same time every day, or whatever the fuck else she wants to lie about. That in her brain, it’s not even a lie any more, so she has no problem looking honest as she spits it out, because she’s convinced herself that her fabricated version of reality is true.
I don’t think women are that stupid. Women can be pretty fucking dumb sometimes, but they still know the difference between fact and fiction. “I didn’t have sex with that other guy” is obviously a lie when she had his penis inside of her for 45 minutes. She knows that. She’s not that stupid.
It’s not lying that women are good at. It’s justification.
A woman will convince herself that it was right, okay, and that she had a good reason to do whatever it is that she’s lying about. A woman will also convince herself that it is right, okay, and that she has a good reason to lie to you about it. A woman will feel justified when she lies to you. She won’t believe what she’s saying, specifically, but she’ll believe that she’s right to be saying it. So it won’t feel like a lie to her. She’ll believe in herself and her own righteousness, and as long as she believes she’s doing the right thing, she’ll have no problem making eye contact, speaking with normal inflections, breathing normally – even though she’s telling you a flat-out lie. The truth doesn’t matter to her. Facts don’t matter to her. How she feels about herself affects whether she can convey herself in a manner that looks honest. If she doesn’t feel bad or feel guilty, and in fact feels righteous, she can sell used cars and bridges over swamps the same way you might describe what you ate for dinner last night.
In fact, women are so skilled at the act of justification, that catching them in the act of lying is, itself, wicked. They are righteous to lie. If you thwart their lie, you are the enemy of righteousness.
When your girl tells you something, and you remark that you spoke with her friend, and you know that’s not true, she’ll confront you: “Why don’t you trust me? Why are you checking up on me with my friends? Do you seriously believe her over me?”
When you respond that you also logged into her phone, e-mail, facebook, whatever, and found concrete evidence that she’s a lying bitch, her response isn’t I’m sorry. It’s how dare you invade her privacy like that. How dare you snoop on her. How dare you not trust her. She was righteous to lie, and you thwarted her lie. She’s the victim here.
Remember this when you’re screening your women. Her words don’t always tell you what she believes is true. They just tell you how she feels about what she’s saying.