Why women shit test. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by redpilltom

[–]SuperDuperShibe 85 points85 points [recovered]

Interesting anecdote. It makes their tendency to shit test more intuitive, as I would do the same if I were a woman.

[–]JayViceroy 82 points83 points  (21 children)

As a man, you should be shit testing women too. But instead of them testing you on your alpha qualities, you're testing her on her crazy qualities. Partner count, family, education, anything you deem fit. There is always two sides to a coin.

[–]_the_shape_ 46 points47 points  (9 children)

lol you're right. I personally prefer the word "screening" but it's basically the same thing.

[–]JayViceroy 14 points15 points  (8 children)

I hear what you're saying but if you think a girl is going to tell you the truth the first go around, I have some land to sell you at a great price. In all honesty, if you don't continually pry and prod certain questions in different ways and test her stories over time for inconsistencies and lies, then you may very well fall into the trap of believing she's not a slut, when she may be. I'd rather find out in the first few months of hanging out with a girl than 10 years from now where your "perfect" perception of her goes down faster than a two dollar hooker. If you're suspicious, there's probably a reason for it.

[–]Pm_MeyourManBoobs 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Something I learned to do which was a pretty good indicator...Look at your plate's best friends on FB...see what they do on a Friday and Saturday night. You can make a pretty good assumption that your plate was doing the same shit right before you met her. Women have a hive mind personality. Tip: Women will usually untag themselves from the more "interesting" photos with their slut friends. Find her friend who has their fb profile unlocked and enjoy learning who the person really is before it's too late.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 5 points6 points  (2 children)

A relentlessly honest person will quickly find out if you are a liar or a fake.

Vulnerability is strength. Manipulation is weakness. Alpha is congruence.

[–]JayViceroy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I strongly disagree. Manipulation is not weakness. Manipulation is the use of a strategy in which one person sees the rules of the game clearer than the other person. Manipulation can be terrible, but it can also be the cornerstone used by one person to advance the greater good of the group. People see manipulation as evil because they see weakness in them self when they were manipulated previously. Manipulation is simply being able to use someone else's cards for your benefit. It doesn't always imply a detriment to another party.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Manipulation is a pejorative, but I was using it in a technical sense. It is weakness, because you are having to use falsehood about yourself to achieve a favourable outcome.

Operating from a position of strength does not require manipulation.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Women know you're doing it. They have a certain "prodding" radar. Ask the same questions a few times from different angles and they'll see what you're trying to do. If you want to do this you have to be sly.

[–]1Dev_on 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you guys are thinking too much. Get them drunk, ask them a question, or tell them a story of yourself that kind of goes there, then let them run at the mouth. If you can get them emotional, even better.

I've learned everything I know about my SO from just getting her drunk, having a lot of fun at a party, then just sitting back and listening, prodding to keep her from running out of things to say

[–]Magnum256[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'd rather find out in the first few months of hanging out with a girl than 10 years from now where your "perfect" perception of her goes down faster than a two dollar hooker.

I dunno, assuming she hasn't been acting like a slut for those 10 years, if you've made it that long I would hope "perception" was relative to your actual lifestyle with one another.

Whether it's a guy or a girl, if I found out some deep, dark secret they had from 10+ years ago, and had been friends with them the entire time, I'm not suddenly going to dislike that person, hell I could find out my best bro committed murder and lied about it 10 years ago and I wouldn't mind at all, would phase me for maybe 3 seconds.

edit: I do agree with you that it's obviously better to find out specifics early in a relationship though.

[–]JayViceroy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you be ok with your single father raising you for 10 years by himself because your mom died in a car crash, only to find out that he chopped her up into pieces and cremated her in your wood furnace in the basement? Just because someone can hide something for you for 10 years doesn't justify the events. That's why someone that commits murder in their 20s can go to jail when they get caught at 70. Don't think those hoe-ish tendencies won't find a way to out at some point.

[–]redpillersinparis 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You cannot keep asking her the same questions again and again. That sounds more like "screening" which is done in the begining when getting to know her, and that's it.

[–]JayViceroy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't say ask the same question many times. But you can always use something as a point of reference then change small details about what she told you prior to see if she corrects you to the original story she told you. If the story is consistent nothing to worry about. If she complies with the changes as if that's what she had said all along then you can understand this person cannot be trusted. If you think for one second a woman won't do the same to you when she's shit testing your alpha steel frame, you're lying to yourself. She'll use the sledgehammer and when that doesn't work, she'll bust out the blow torch. It's never the same tool, but the purpose is always the same.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Can you give specific examples on how to shit test a woman?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

(# of tattoos + times 'fucks' said every few sentences if its an inappropriate context - age he/she lost their virginity + (friends they dont know on facebook / friends they do) ) times (total number of their fault divorces + times cheated / (your % on their being honestly sorry and truly mean it wont happen again) + times you hurt yourself walking through their house due to clutter + (hair styles within 3 months/ % of their credit card payed off)

Not a complete list, but if its too far from 0 your probably in for a bad time

Edit : yes this is a joke take it easy

Edit 2: others might be most # of hair colors at one time, # of diagnosed phobias, % of junk food to good food, ability to cook minute rice, # of self-made (computer + car + cellphone) problems, # of shoes or any one clothing type (gloves, hats Ect) bought each month, # of thousand texts per month, times they sing w/out rhyme, rhythm or reason either in public or around people, # of foods they won't eat (not from allergies), # of games they have on steam, times number of times they ran away, times times they hospitalised someone on purpose, # of books owned and not read, # of days between showers (decimals if more than 1 a day)

[–]fattybrah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may think it's a joke but there's alot of actual truth in that formula of yours! Do share more!

[–]1beerthroway 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I personally find this really easy to find. Girls will often be proud of these things.

I love my family but like anyone we have our tough times. Sometimes I just need to get away and not talk to them for a while.

Translation: I don't have a strong enough relationship with them to put up with anything I don't want to. Next.

A woman should be able to sleep with whoever she wants and no one should judge her.

Translation: I have a high count, don't judge me. Bang and next!

I get along better with men than women.

While this may sound universal, it is actually a red flag: I'm intolerant of people that don't fit my mold and I'm such a bitch that I've lost all my female friends. While this statement isn't a guarantee, more often than not, it'll be a failed test.

All of these things girls will bring up their own if you merely touch on the topic in your own life. Tell her how excited you are to watch the super bowl with your family, she'll spill her guts about her family. And so on.

A man's version of a shit test doesn't need to be nearly as covert as a woman's version of a shit test.

[–]JayViceroy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This very true. And since girls don't even know they are shit testing you. They also don't even realize that how they feel about something, like your example of them thinking women can fuck anyone that walks is just a projection of themself... They don't even realize they just called themselves a slut. Reading between the lines will save your life.

[–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'd rather test her on fiscal responsability, practical skills etc.

those are the kind of people who can be an asset, and not a trophy that costs money each month

[–]JayViceroy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A real trophy wife is a trophy looking wife, with trophy wife / house wife tendencies. Look at George Clooney's wife for an example.

[–][deleted] 40 points40 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]circuzninja 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to change the metaphor here...but I don't know how many times I accidentally threw my phone across the concrete shop floor and smashed against brick walks because I dropped it and never broke once, but I dropped it on carpet once from about a foot and thought it passed all the times I dropped it on worse, I'm not even worried. But sure enough, when I picked out up and the screen was cracked. I guess it does fit it's own metaphor. No matter how how difficult a test you pass, after all of that, even the softest test can make you crack.

[–]machimus 38 points39 points  (3 children)

This is actually the first logical explanation I've ever heard of why women shit test. I believed it before, of course, but it only started making sense to me just now.

If you think about it this way, shit testing isn't even so bad. In fact, annoying as it is, it's kind of a compliment in a way. Nice...

[–]gatorganja 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Take it as a compliment, accept the challenge, and crush it.

[–]longerdistance 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Read "way of the superior man", David Deida expresses much of the same sentiments as you.

[–]1Zanford 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read the sidebar, Heartiste, rationale male, etc. This explanation is actually the default explanation for shit tests that everyone uses.

[–]_the_shape_ 16 points17 points  (2 children)

This is why, in the long run, a vicious, crushing break up carries with it the potential to help make you become that solid guy she yearns for. Always remain grateful for having experienced a truly devastating break up.

[–]loin_fruit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit that explains why my ex who apparently hates me (no idea why) still checks my Twitter even though it's been 3 years since we dated.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both times I balled up and dumped the girlfriend, each time they came back begging. Suddenly, the guy they had no respect for a week ago is the man of their dreams.

[–]box_wrench 37 points38 points  (10 children)

The captain / first-mate dynamic really works for me, mentally.

What I don't see in this dynamic is, if Captain Picard is handling some serious business, Riker isn't Running around, pushing the wrong buttons and antagonizing things, just to see if Picard is the shit. Riker is helping. Hes got this shit.

You want a good captain? Fine. I want a good first mate. Get a hold of yourself.

[–]DaegobahDan 1 point2 points  (2 children)

That's only because Picard has proven himself before, to the point that Riker knows he can trust his judgement even if it doesn't make sense to him at the time. You haven't seen the years of trust that built the relationship. But those tests were there.

[–]throaway1248gn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Actually you do, Riker gets on the Enterprise for the first time in the first episode.

[–]DaegobahDan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh. It's been so long since I've seen that show I guess I had forgotten that. But also Riker has a formalized military tribunal system to keep him in check from mutiny/countermanding Picard as well.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (6 children)

If Picard were incompetent, or couldn't fulfill his dutues due to weakness, then Riker would have to take over. Women usually don't want to be in charge, they want a strong competent leader rather than another kid to carry around.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Idea of a first mate is to follow the captains commands and wishes without the captain constantly having to repeat himself.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With a competent captain that's exactly right. Look at what most BP guys do, they are incompetent leaders that hand over the control, most women don't want that, and are less than thrilled when it happens.

We don't disagree, it's a distinction between quality leadership and shit leaders.

[–]redpillersinparis 8 points9 points  (1 child)

How does that refute what he is saying?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't, it adds to it. Not everything in life is adversarial.

[–]CacTye 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Only temporarily, until a new Captain was assigned. So too in relationships.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, which is why girls jump ship so often and remorselessly.

[–]1DRMMR76 23 points24 points  (6 children)

It does make sense. Most everyone is trying to find a viable long term mate and everyone doing so employs different methods in trying to find out if the person they're with is the one. Since males and females have different ideas of what makes someone a good catch, we use different methods. You do essentially the same thing when you try to find out how many people she fucked, if she used to be a druggie, stripper, if she's prone to "oops I stopped taking birth control" incidents, etc. Men test to find out if a woman is a slut or too crazy. Women test to find out if a man is dependable and a good enough captain of the relation-ship.

My problem is that women seem to have this idea that we aren't allowed to test or that we aren't supposed to care about the things we care about. "It shouldn't matter if I fucked 37 guys my freshman year, I'm with you now". Well it does matter and I am still going to try to find out the real story whether you want to or not. It's the hypocrisy that they think they are entitled to eliminating unsuitable mates using their own criteria (they are) but they seem to think we're not (we are too).

[–]Cypher211 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Well this is the problem we find ourselves facing in the 21st century, the sexual dynamics between genders have been completely fucked up. Female sexuality is celebrated and seen as empowering whereas male sexuality is condemned and seen as something evil or creepy which throws off the natural balance between the genders and gives women all the power in the sexual marketplace or relationship.

It's worth noting that, at the moment, this is pretty much exclusively a 1st world / Western problem.

[–]redditcdnfanguy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm looking forward to the inevitable correction for this because a very hard rain is going to fall.

[–]Cypher211 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just hope it's not a long wait.

[–]Titan5000 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Haha dude, didn't you know? Women are above the laws of nature. They have every privilege and we're just lucky to be graced by their presence.

Just kidding. I never understood why women think being a slut BEFORE they met you means that they aren't still a slut. Once a slut, always a slut. If everything else in our life is judged on our past accomplishments (resume, credit score, education level) then why isn't their slutiness assessed the exact same way. Riddle me that!

[–]DaegobahDan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that TRP likes to pretend that AWALT means that all women are cock-slobbering whores, and that just isn't true. There are basic behaviors that they all do, but that doesn't mean all women do them to the same degree or to the same extent. Some women are the female equivalents of beta bux, and no, not just because they are fat or ugly.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is similar to the explanation offered in "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Dieda:

The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: imperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love. Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew.

In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you. Perhaps you have been working toward some financial goal, and finally you have succeeded. After months or years of effort, you have creatively earned a large amount of money. You feel happy, full, and successful. You feel great. You come home to your woman and want to share the news with her.

"I just made a million dollars today."

"That's nice."

"That's nice!!?? You know how hard I've been working for this."

"I know. It feels like I haven't seen you in months. Did you remember to pick up the milk on the way home?"

"Oh, sorry" I forgot. But who cares? We could buy a dairy farm now?"

"I asked you to pick up the milk three times this morning, and I put a note on your briefcase. How could you forget?" "I said I'm sorry. Look, I'll go get the damn milk..."

Why is she being this way? Because she simply wants to deflate your success? No. She is challenging you because your success doesn't mean Shit to her, unless you are free and loving. And if you are free and loving, nothing she says can collapse you. She wants to feel you are uncollapsable, so she pokes you in your weak spot. Of course she knows how much this moment of success means to you. This is precisely why she is negating it. Not because she wants to hurt you. But because she wants to feel Shiva. She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars. She wants to feel you are a superior man.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I'm sure it was intentional, but I enjoyed the fitting switch of "mettle" with "metal", haha.

As for the post, very well laid out. Like you say, shit tests are about determining candidacy, but a shit tests are not always about disqualifying a man. A woman's emotional volatility is a hard wired, evolved function extended from her sexual strategy. Her sexual strategy fails if she doesn't secure commitment. So while yes, some types of shit tests are more of a conscious vetting, others are insidious, subconscious acts of manipulation to secure power in her relationship. Women manipulate men by exploiting our natural tendencies to care for, provide for, and protect them.

A man of steel is of no use to a woman unless she can covertly control him.

*The subtlety, which loops back into your point, lies in the fact that while a woman's need to secure that power is out of her control, as soon as she actually has the power, she looses attraction to him and grows to resent his weakness. For her it's a catch 22, for him the solution is pretty obvious.

[–]franklyforthright 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So what younre saying is to never commit?

[–]mo_dingo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't give away all of your power, instead, grant her access sometimes, others, completely shut her down. She has to keep reaching for the prize, always on her toes, never quite knowing for sure how you will respond, never attaining power; otherwise, everyone knows the consequence of a greyhound actually getting the hare.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/u/mo_dingo is right. But just to spell it out:

That catch 22 for the woman is about the loop between the two halves of her sexual brain. Her need for power over her man, and her need for her man to have power over her. Respectively, she needs to whip her man into a betabux provider, but she also needs her man to be a dominant alphafux in order for her to respect him, be attracted to him, and want to have his children in the first place.

A woman's emotional volatility, in case I wasn't clear enough before, is subconscious. (however, others would probably debate that part considering the lucidity of many women's manipulation. If i were to respond to that, i'd probably say it was in the middle, where their emotions are naturally triggered, but her conscious brain is able to capitalize on their effects) Regardless of whether she's aware or not though, her emotions are a utility. They serve a purpose. That purpose is to mold her man into a committed resource.

As the man, your modus operandi in an LTR should basically be a cost analysis. You need to provide comfort (women say they just want you to listen, not give advice) but also set strong boundaries (FR's constantly affirm that this will garner positive results and supplication).

Notice the duality theme- beta and alpha. The cost analysis between these two options comes from your decision on whether or not a bitch is even worth it, whether a situation requires comfort or boundary setting, and whether her expectations of your frame matches the frame that would produce the results you most prefer. And with experience comes the ability to mix the two in a way that is constantly fresh and adds life to her perception of you.

[–]blueWidow 5 points5 points [recovered]

Sadist you mean? Masochist is the play toy of a sadist.

[–]GregariousWolf 11 points11 points [recovered]

I've come to believe shit tests are part of the female psyche. It seems to be a fundamental dynamic in a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. She has an unquenchable desire to know your level of fitness and dominance. It's not an evil thing, though it may seem so to us sometimes.

Guys make the mistake of believing once he has "won" her, that the game is over. The game is never over, gentlemen. The game is always on. Especially for those men who enter into marriage, they feel that they have committed to this woman and they can finally let their guard down. "We are together, we love each other, and now I can relax." The honeymoon only lasts so long.

The henpecked husband is common cliche in American culture, that everyone here knows. Everyone here knows a guy who gets a girlfriend and then becomes pussy-whipped. Every guy here knows what that means. She does it not because she's a bitch, not because she's evil. She does it because she has a deep, emotional, primitive need to feel her man is worthy of her. Shits tests are how she evaluates you. Passing them is how you maintain attraction.

The problem in long term relationships comes about because the woman's method to establish security is at cross purposes with the man's feeling of security in commitment. The man feels he as "won" and this woman is now his, and he feels she should relent. He feels he has demonstrated his value to her. He feels it has been established, and in the case of a LTR or marriage, he feels it has been established in perpetuity. For the woman this is not so.

What happens is she never relents. She is always testing. She always has and always will have a deep emotional desire to to have his value recently established. She needs to know more than he was good enough for her. She needs to know deep in her heart that he is good enough right now, and that he will be good enough in the future. It is a continuous need for her.

This continuous need can be very trying. It is like the erosive force of the wind and rain wearing down a great mountain. A man may be great and powerful. He may reach great heights. If he is unaware of her need (which is what TRP is all about) to continuously establish his worth it can be very exhausting and he may relent.

Here's what happens when you get henpecked or whipped. She has torn you down until you give up. "Yes, dear." After years of conflict and fighting, you just are tired of it and you capitulate. In other words, you submit to her. Why? Because it's fucking easier! But in so doing, you are failing to establish your worth to her. The longer it goes on, the less worthy you become in her heart. You may still relate to her intellectually, but deep in her heart and emotions she has forgotten that you once established your worth to her.

We call them shit tests, but it is not quite the same as giving your friends shit. Guys tease each other, as well. Guys haze and tease in social groups to establish dominance, as well. And even in close friendships there is an element of teasing and hazing. You rip on your friends, right? Especially, if they do something stupid. Your good friends when you tease them for something dumb they did, you're not trying to cut them down to size. Rather it is the opposite, you're kind of using reverse psychology. You're poking fun at your good friend because he's your good friend, he has your respect, and you don't want him doing dumb shit. You want to see him lift himself up. You don't want him to lose your respect. You give your good friend shit and he gives you shit right back. With your good friend you think, "he's a good guy, I trust him, he's got my back." The teasing can be just jokes that are fun and entertaining in and of themselves, or they can be funny and serious at the same time. It doesn't work that way with women. You must continuously earn her respect to maintain attraction.

Women may sugar coat a shit test, but it's not funny to them. Not in the same way your lunges and parries are funny in a battle of wits with your friends. Your friend's tease may be outwardly cruel, but have your best interests at heart. A woman's shit test may be wrapped up in the nicest dressing, but deep down it is deadly serious. It is her best interests at stake. The fitness of her mate and the survival of her offspring.

The lesson is not that she will never give up testing you. The lesson is she cannot. It is part of her. It is a fundamental mechanic in her attraction to you. If you fail to meet that metric, a little part of her attraction to you goes down. In a LTR or marriage, over a long period of time, if you reliably capitulate and submit to her, eventually her attraction to you will fall to zero. Even if she is a loyal person, she will feel more attraction for others (just as you feel attraction to younger, hotter, tighter women) you may end up with a dead bedroom or worse, get your clock cleaned by the family courts.

So, in conclusion. OP's post deserves that gold. It isn't fair, but that's life. Shit tests are a part of her. They are not being a bitch, they are not being evil, they are a part of her. They are important to her. They have great utility for her in establishing a worthy mate. Asking her to not shit test you is equivalent to her asking you not to notice a big pair of tittles or an ass that pops. You may as well ask the sun not to rise.

It is your job to cope. As OP said, it is your responsibility to take shit tests in stride and continuously demonstrate that you have value as a man. You must be strong. Always. I know you want to be able to relax and never field these tests, but you can't. The equivalent is a woman her lets herself go and gets fat, lazy, and mean. That will kill your attraction to her, right? Being a "yes, dear" hen-pecked pussy-whipped doormat will kill her attraction to you.

If she gets fat and you get pussy-whipped, welcome to dead bedroom divorceland. You don't want to go there. Trust me.

[–]Endorsed Contributornyrp 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Asking her to not shit test you is equivalent to her asking you not to notice a big pair of tittles or an ass that pops. You may as well ask the sun not to rise.

My ex of 9 months I just broke up with unfortunately wanted to have it both ways.

She was a relentless shit-tester. And at the same time fought me repeatedly for having allegedly looked at some girl's tits. One time it was on a bus and I had no idea that I was looking at a girl. Another was at a New Year's party. There was nothing happening at one moment except three girls dancing to the music and she lost her shit saying I was staring at the dancing girls. I guess I kind of was, but there was nothing else to look at.

I think most girls though leave a little grudging leeway for eyeing girls, knowing we basically can't even control it, just like we learn to give leeway for PMS and shit-testing. I didn't get mad at my girlfriend's shit tests until they repeated and intensified to an unhealthy degree. She started talking about her exes all the time just to antagonize me. I would come home from work and get a hug and a kiss and a non-sequitur story about this one time with the guy she was with 2 years ago. When it didn't have enough of an effect on me, she started talking about their dicks. At that point, I found it all too disrespectful to remain in the relationship.

[–]DaegobahDan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well there's shit tests, and then there's obnoxious bitches.

[–]pwnerofnoob 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So basically, women are way too much work.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both genders shit test. I personally shit test women by sticking my cock up their ass. Get it shit test? Haha you get it.

[–]iopq 11 points12 points  (2 children)

You know, except after you hit steel enough times it actually becomes malleable:


[–]Homard80 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I like to think of it more like Cold Rolling.


[–]DaegobahDan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's an analogy. Calm down.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

they want to test your mettle, but why? Because if a woman chooses a partner they want to see father traits. If you're raising a girl, that girl's survivability is threatened if her father can be manipulated by another woman/girl.

[–]jonsnuh13 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Where do you draw the line for what is acceptable and what isn't? Some women are just batshit crazy.

[–]JayViceroy 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Don't stick your dick in crazy. Every girl is a little crazy. That's a given. You just need to weed out the ones that are going to be the craziest or most delusional about reality. Ex strippers, ex sluts, ex drama queens, are not really ex anything. That shit is ingrained in them, they're more than likely just taking a break.

[–]neoaoshi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Refer to the crazy/hot Scale

[–]LuvBeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Setting, adjusting, and enforcing limits is a bit like pricing: seemingly easy but in fact quite complex.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (10 children)

I always thought shit tests were just tests to see her her AF was really the shit, and not just some BB.

Hell have no fury like a woman getting tricked into fucking a BB when they thought they were fucking an AF.

[–]SwagYoloJesus 22 points23 points  (1 child)

That's what they are, OP just likes to write.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Women don't just do it when you're dating. They do it to all men. I've had women 40 years my senior shit test me. Hell, even family members do. If you associate with women, they will do it.

[–]redpillersinparis 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe you are just including every argument or disagreement under the "shit test" umbrella. Apparently, to you, even a woman in your family cannot disagree with you for a rational reason, so it must be a "shit test".

[–]asdfghjkltyu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say that. There is a difference between disagreement and frame testing, being trying to provoke you to see how you stand up.

[–]thredditsowaway 6 points7 points  (4 children)

This is why women loathe PUA/TRP so much. They despise the idea that someone who is "naturally beta" can just "put in effort" to become "alpha." In their minds it isn't real.

[–]Venicedreaming 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, if you really think about it, most PUA are not disciplined like OP. They have the "all the fun and none of the responsibility" mindset going on. And the shit annoys everyone. That's dead weight in society framework.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You'd think they would admire all the hard work you put into yourself to become a RP man worthy of their affections, but nope! Isn't one of the laws of power "not telling people how hard you work"? Hmmm.

[–]thredditsowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I don't do dinner dates... I only have one cheat meal. If I'm stuck doing a dinner date, I make that my cheat meal.

The more she thinks "it's genetic" the better.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Great post, AAA material.

I've been trying to get this across, but this is the best breakdown I've seen.

Why do businesses interview? Why do universities set exams? To sort the wheat from the chaff. If you can't deal with her mild bullshit, what use are you?

Women need men who can take a pounding from the world, get back up and smash its goddamn face in.

[–]redpilltom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And not only in the beginning. Universities have grades, businesses have quarterly reviews, etc.

[–]MrFunnycat 7 points7 points [recovered]

Beige Phillip rule: Women give you shit to make sure that you are the shit.

[–]pokerhand12 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Bitches shit test cause it works well at weeding out the weak. If your getting hung up on being shit tested you're obviously weak and are not making her cut. Good! Makes me look better. If im flirting with a chick and there's an obvious mutual attraction, she will shit test me just to make herself seem less desperate. What do I do? Ignore that shit and continue to "divide and conquer" her. I usually win and when I'm not...onto the next

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just can't lose with shit testing.

She demonstrates higher social value to the guy and to her friends, whether she's talking to alpha, beta or loser.

If he's a loser, she finds out quick and gets rid of him.

If he's alpha that's great, she's found out quickly before someone else snaps him up.

If he's beta then he'll learn his place through her put downs, and makes it more likely he'll commit to her (because wow, she's so hot and high value and he managed to 'get her' by paying for dinners and dates for only three months! blue pill really works!)

[–]pm_your_nudes_women 6 points7 points  (4 children)

After I broke up with a really nice girl from a 3y relationship and started the dating game again. I came up with the shit tests again. I had forgotten them because my ex was so mentally balanced and clever, that she did not do shit tests ever. It has been really frustrating to see girls that are 25y+ and still do these teenage shit tests. Seems that only really childish, unbalanced and "stupid" girls do the shit tests.

[–]redpillersinparis 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Why did you break up with her?

[–]pm_your_nudes_women 2 points3 points  (2 children)

She wanted kids but I didn't :'(

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What's her number I'll impregnate her, my cum works it's been tested and I have a beautiful kid in Europe somewhere

[–]Zagooda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been lurking for a long time. I've read almost everything I should. So, I think I'm at a point where I can tell when there is a shit test. Women don't shit test me. I haven't gotten laid for a year. Suprise!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post

Shit tests are opportunities. She cant help doing it so why be mad? Jut pass them and enjoy the results

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi 2 points3 points  (1 child)

[–]lLoveLamp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Am I dumb to believe men shit test too?

Don't get me wrong, it's not even close to how much/ how women shit test but I think it's flawed to think ONLY women shit test.

[–]AntixD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

why the fuck was this removed brah?

[–]timewaitsforsome 2 points3 points  (1 child)

why the fuck was this removed brah?

[–]redpilltom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mods thought it was bluepill for some reason. Their sub, I guess.

[–]Tqbfjotlds 6 points6 points [recovered]

Shit tests help a woman establish where your boundaries are. The sole reason she is with you is because you fulfill her resource needs in some way. She wants to know how much she can get out of you, so she shit tests. She asks you to give up your time, your money, your friends, sometimes even your family to know at what point you put your foot down. Once she knows your limits, she know what she can extract from you. This is why it is very important to set high boundaries early on in a relationship. The more you give in, the more she will ask from you, not because she needs anything, but because she wants to see how much she can get.

[–]theawesomeone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is the real reason, not some evolved psychological test to determine how alpha the man is. Women are children. Children constantly test to see what they can get away with.

[–]the99percent1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shit test are meant to test your mettle.. Step through it feeling like a baptism of fire. I love getting tested, and quite often, do the testing myself.

[–]DjCbal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems an easy answer: to see if you can handle your shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's only natural for a woman to want the best partner who can provide, be strong, thrive, and compete. She wants to reassure herself that you are that guy

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relevant info from the sidebar:


Also, it's worth pointing out that not all LTR shit tests are in fact shit tests. Sometimes they're comfort tests, which are slightly different.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

-Bruce Lee

[–]kevkos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't believe in shit tests. I Next every time that shit happens. Works for me. My girl right now has never done anything close to a shit test and therefore, I reward her.

[–]I3luee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a waterproof phone because in the past I ruined 2 phones with water.

I submerged it into water a few times (with caution because I don't wanna actually ruin it) to see it pass the test. This was in the first month of usage. Since then I don't wanna submerge it because I know that this world is imperfect and that EVERYTHING breaks eventually.

Time; handling and general under the weather wear and tear will weaken anything.

The sensation of "let's see if it's still unbreakable" I've had when I was a 16 y.o. kid and mom and dad gave me 90% of everything. Everything I buy myself I take care of because I put effort into getting it.

I'd hate being in a relationship where shittesting from time to time comes. I'd feel like being hired at a part time job. Although as I noticed I saw dramatically less shittests from women that have their SMV a lot lower than that of their partner.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Edit: Some spelling.

[–]hardboil3d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you know, they are just cunts who act like 5 year olds.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If so many women shit test, I find that it must be the best option to use. We'd likely use womens' shit tests too, if we'd been born female.

[–]BadCopWithDonut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting...yesterday evening unbreakable was on tv. seems like you watched it :D

[–]deadally 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After thinking about this concept for many years, it occurs to me that this is something you can extend even further. Your boundaries will be tested by just about everyone you meet in life. Of course, any long-term relationship will present more of those opportunities from someone who has a much better idea of how to push your buttons.

It would do everyone very well to consider your frame as important for every interaction, including women you'd like to be with. The added advantage is that you feel better in general. It is the reason I have the guts to tell my bosses they would have a hard time replacing me. Having the credentials and experience to back that up carries over into your love life, as well.

All self-improvement is connected, in other words.

[–]aussydog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kudos for the well written and well thought out post. Thanks for that.

[–]1RPinCA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Just like lion cubs play fighting, men have social practices that train you for women's shit tests. Men bust each other's balls, make fun of each other, call each other out, but know that we don't really mean any harm. We do it because it's fun, but also because it gives us thicker skin so that when we're shit tested by society, we don't flinch, we laugh.

Women don't really mean their shit tests either. They aren't saying things to you that they've thought through and analyzed. They're just reacting instinctively. The same way that if your buddy showed up dressed oddly, you'd make fun of him before wondering if he's dressed that way for a specific reason.

[–]ratthing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have always viewed STs as an evolutionary adaptation, as this excellent post is inferring. Women are (consciously or unconsciously) looking for the "unbreakable" alpha male. A shit test is an opportunity to demonstrate your fitness by navigating through verbal puzzles and landmines.

[–]fifth0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry but shit testing women is one of the most fun things. It instantly creates tension.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But OP missed the theory on the evolutionary biological imperative driving this. Biologically, (ignoring things like modern birth control), an act of penetrative sex could lead to pregnancy. A woman has to carefully select who will have that opportunity, so as to maximize the survival potential of the child.

Interestingly, the whole AF/BB falls out of this - get the best genes for the child (AF), but alphas are not typically parent material, so get a BB to provide thereafter.

The shit tests then test your frame - a strong frame (along with desirable physical characteristics) is associated with more success, and in fact, that remains true particularly in the business world. Dark Triad (and now, per psychology, Dark Tetrad) traits have been associated modernly with rapid rise on the corporate ladder, accumulation of wealth, influence, and power, etc. And, of course, such people are going to pass shit tests because they really DGAF about YOU (her).

[–]redpillersinparis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn straight, my niggah. Nicely laid out and clear.

[–]longerdistance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't pussy out, shit tests will make you stronger. For any real man they are a blessing in disguise.

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post is very generic for the most part. This explanation for fit testing is TRP conventional wisdom, as self evident from the synonym for shit test, 'fitness test'.

Your unbreakable glass bauble analogy is a good one, though.

[–]1User-31f64a4e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are attracted to powerful men.

She needs to know you're powerful.

Sometimes that comes via social proof and other environmental factors. I imagine that someone who is objectively rich and powerful would be shit tested less. That's probably why politicians are always getting into sex scandals - their power is obvious (and they're mostly millionaires to boot, above a certain level.)

But for everyday Joes with no track record and little or no social proof, how powerful are you? Only one way for her to know - put it to the test.


A woman shit-testing is like a man looking at a woman and checking out her body. Boy or girl, we all assess potential mates. Getting upset about it is like getting upset at the weather - pointless and counterproductive.

Instead of getting upset at weather, we learn to dress appropriately and carry an umbrella or put a shovel and some sand in the trunk. Instead of getting upset at male preference of female beauty, women use makeup and push-up or padded bras. Instead of getting upset at shit testing, we need to understand how to deal with it and perhaps how to get power for real.

A moralistic approach - condemning men for being shallow, women for being such cunts - doesn't really help any more than it does to call tornadoes and floods evil. Just deal.

[–]RichardDeckard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree somewhat. As far as being in a LTR goes, basically, we're just talking about her being insecure about you sticking around, right? So, she's feeling scared and she's unable to verbalize it, so instead of forcing her to put her fucking feelings into words (something she's always telling us WE need to do more), we enable this game-playing by playing along? Bullshit.

Hold frame and shame her into admitting what her manipulations are actually trying to accomplish. THAT'S the long-term solution. Playing into her shit-test game keeps it going on forever.

Unless, of course, you don't mind wasting emotional time and energy doing this for the rest of your life.

[–]paracog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm wondering about the similarity of shit tests towards males and the way women entertain themselves as frenemies with other women, just because they seem to find it stimulating in some way. If it's a similar dynamic, then it seems really important not to respond in ways that other women would.

[–]VoidInvincible 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this today. I think I just failed a shit test that came out of left field and lost a potential plate. Dammit, she got me. I was just about to close her too. Women are good at this.

[–]RealRational 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good, but in an LTR they can be trained to stop this behavior. Depending on intelligence and discipline; as long as you're leading properly everyday, that in itself is the ultimate "shit test". Help her understand that. Show her how to look at life itself as a massive test, which it is, and worst case scenario you have to nudge her out of those bad habits by mocking her, deriding her every attempt at a "shit test".

[–]BlueFreedom420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is time when you wake up and stop taking shit from women. Broader shoulders? Become strong and not need a stupid creature that plays games with you.

[–]ChairBorneMGTOW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why it behooves one to either forego relationships entirely, but if you must have a LTR, you should consider exposing your female to Red Pill thinking.

A woman exposed to the Red Pill can be conditioned to not shit test - she'll be aware of the concept, and you can respond to shit tests by simply telling her "cupcake, you're shit-testing me. Cease, or get out."

I prefer to not have a relationship at all because it's honestly more trouble than it's worth to me. But if I were to allow a woman to get close to me, she would have to read the entire sidebar here first - and agree to my worldview.

[–]Allen139 0 points1 point  (1 child)

what exactly is a shit test?

[–]TheRealMouseRat 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yes, this is correct. However, can't they just be happy with a glass that can break?

[–]redblue25 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're missing the analogy here then. If you have a glass that can break then in the future you may have no glass.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Women must feel LOWER.

If a man does not present a clear gap in his status to a woman she will force him to regain control through a shit test.

Addiction to HAPPINESS for a man is considered effeminate.

Shit tests are aimed at destroying your feminine ("happy") mind.

Always hold frame, always be stoic.

[–]frappa9990 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I know this is probably on the reading materials on the sidebar but I am new here and am slowly reading through ir all... whays is a "shit test"?

[–]redblue25 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Read the Sidebar man. Shit - test: When a women gives you shit. They usually will start a fight out nowhere about ilogical/old/stupid things they are trying to break you to better manipulate the relationship... better explained on the sidebar.

[–]cabosse -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

Fuck you. You're just rationalizing the fact that women are dramatic. How dare you say it's an alpha thing to do, to put up with their shit, to show them you can "take it". you go ahead and do that, but I promise you these types of women will keep throwing shit at you cuz you'll be the beta who puts up with it. As soon as a girl starts making problems, I lay down the law and let her know I ain't putting up with that, and if she doesn't like that then I'm gone.

[–]Tqbfjotlds 3 points3 points [recovered]

I lay down the law and let her know I ain't putting up with that, and if she doesn't like that then I'm gone.

This is called passing the shit test. Women shit test to know where your boundaries lie.

[–]cabosse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To make the assumption that all women do this, is to accept it as a normal occurrence. I don't want to "pass" this test cuz that means I'm with a girl who's like a child; she'll always be testing the boundaries and I'm not putting up with that.

[–]ModMachiavellianRed[M] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Men don't shit test women because we admire and adore their fragility.

No. This is just blue pill nonsense. I suggest you read the sidebar. I don't care if you get gilded enough gold to humiliate Fort Knox or get a billion upvotes, this is some blue pill bullshit. Thread removed.

[–]redpilltom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well if you like fucking big, strong, burly women I guess I can see where I was wrong.