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No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover (From here on out, "NMMNG") is a fantastic tool and should be added to the RPW toolbox.

There's that saying that goes "Nice guys finish last," Green Day had a smash hit in the 90s about it, and of course there's the infamous subreddit.

Now, NMMNG is a book for men, by a man, designed for men to avoid being "that guy," but even though the intended audience is men and there are homework excercises throughout designed for men to do, this book shouldn't be dismissed as a Men's Only book. This book should be added to the RPW staples because it has advice that is crucial for successful relationships regardless of gender, it could be very useful to identify men with blazing red flags, and more importantly it is so incredibly useful for identifying high quality men.

NMMNG identifies unhealthy behaviors like covert contracts, pedestaling, and constant seeking the approval of others, and what drives them to do this behavior, how to avoid engaging in this behavior, and why this behavior is poisonous to relationships. This type of material is invaluable for anybody, regardless of gender. It makes quick sense of behavior that women often ask about on RPW and often are quick to write off as harmless for them to engage in.

When I first read the RPW sidebar, I would argue that the most confusing thing about everything was how much it talks about the importance of vetting, and how little it talks about actually vetting. There's a very vague checklist of items to green light and red light, but at the end of the day, it's a checklist. With boxes. Totally open to interpretation. NMMNG goes a step further and paints a picture of the difference between a high quality man and a Nice Guy™ with plenty of examples and explanations that make the comparison much easier to decipher.

NMMNG makes discovering undesirable traits in potential mates easy. Things like lying to hide flaws, being non-confrontational, keeping score, the savior complex, and an inability to stand up to mom. This book explains a concise portraiture of how to identify potentially abusive behaviors in potential mates as well, along with what drives those behaviors to manifest themselves in people.

On the inverse, this book makes identifying a quality man much easier. It distinguishes Mr Right from Mr Wrong in Mr Right's clothing and paints the persona of a high quality man who possesses the qualities we as women so often miss because we get hung up on the logical fallacy of thinking a man with achievement and material wealth should automatically possess.

Upon reading the book, I immediately understood why it didn't work out with my exes, and I understood even more why things were going so well with my current significant other. It was so eye opening that I had to make the case.

I hope you all will also give it a read and see this for the invaluable vetting tool that it is!


[–]pickles-n-noodles8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very well written. I will definitely give that book a read!

[–]vintagegirlgame5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice book report! So you say it’s good for helping identify a good/bad captain... would it also be helpful for women who already have their captain?

[–]TheBunk_TB2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It helps already captains more.

[–]hisangelforever5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

NMMNG identifies unhealthy behaviors like covert contracts, pedestaling, and constant seeking the approval of others, and what drives them to do this behavior, how to avoid engaging in this behavior, and why this behavior is poisonous to relationships.

A polite request, as I haven't yet read the book (but plan to, now that I've seen this raving review)...

Could OP or somebody who has read the book please give me a brief overview of what the book says about what drives Person A (i.e. me, lol) to 'pedestal' Person B or constantly seek Person B's approval, and why this would be poisonous to the relationship in question? I recognise this as behaviour I have very recently engaged in with someone I was crazy about who didn't want a relationship with me.

[–]misscleanex[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seeking women's approval creates rage toward women. Though most Nice Guys claim to "love" women, the truth is, most of these men have tremendous rage toward women. This is because we tend to eventually despise whatever we make into our god. When our god fails to respond in the ways we expect, we humans tend to respond in one of two ways. We either blindly intensify our acts of worship or lash out in righteous anger. When Nice Guys put a woman or women on a pedestal and attempt to win their approval, sooner or later, this adoration will turn to rage when these objects of worship fail to live up to the Nice Guys' expectations. This is why it is not unusual to hear a Nice Guy proclaim his undying love to a woman in one breath and then ragefully call her a "f . . . c . . ." only moments later.

From the book.

[–]afterthe_fapocalypse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

agreed. great book. have to read this book again; been a few years and back then giving how I was living not very much sunk in. thanks for posting a link to the file very much.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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