TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

62

Lurkers or noobs:

When I first came here, I did the same as you. I lurked in reading the top posts. Combed through thousands of words for information to learn what MRP was. Maybe I started the sidebar a bit. I kept seeing flaired people here telling people to "STFU, Lift and sidebar". I spent countless hours reading through past OYS and reading their stories hoping that they would be in a similar situation I was in and I would find a path to fix things through them. I pondered whether to join in the weekly thread where people read about all your shortcomings and sometimes achievements. I didn't have many achievements to speak of. I did not want to post because I was truthfully afraid of starting it for real. I could continue to dabble in the sidebar forever... but somewhere, deep down, I knew that if I was going to succeed I needed to be held accountable.

Before I posted in OYS, the only person accountable to me was... me. And how did that turn out? Not so great, man. I wasn't happy at all with things. The person that I should be accountable to was me, but I was so fucked up myself I did what I was afraid to do. I posted to OYS.

The first comment I ever got? "Are you a beanstalk?" (thanks /u/weakandsensitive)

All my worst fears, confirmed. I was just here to be made fun of. How was that going to help??? I knew I wasn't the man I wanted to be. Yet here I was, attempting a path that would maybe make me a better man and the first thing I get is ridicule?

It's all the design, faggots. But let me tell you the beauty in all of that... I could chose to think this random internet stranger was just being a fucking dick to me, I could choose to ignore it, or I could choose to evaluate his comment. So I chose the latter - to evaluate this comment against my own ego and plan. You know what? He was right, and it changed my plan. I shed a little bit of ego that day. That's what MRP is designed to do. Guide you - if you want to work hard for it - to a place where your ego never gets in your way.

Somewhere along my journey of just grinding, and trying really fucking hard because I really did care about myself and my wife (gasp!) and my children (of course!)... some comments in my OYS from a man here drew my attention. I think he understood what I was trying to do, and something he said helped me get to a better place. If I hadn't posted in OYS, I never would have gotten that help. This man through his own patience and goodwill - who still remains a complete stranger to me in real life - took his time to help me choose my own path and help guide me on it. And whew - I took a lot of his time. I still had to do all of the work. I won't call him out here because I know he'd hate it and also don't want all you faggots PM'ing him all the time.... but you know who you are, dude. Thank you. From everything I have in my soul as a man - thank you. You were my Morpheus.

I only learned much later that helping me was part of his mission.

But see, my Morpheus had a Morpheus too. It was /u/jacktenofhearts (great listing of his work here). If you give some of that dude's comments a read, it'll blow your mind.

Without OYS, you will never find a Morpheus if you need one. And you probably do need one.

Flaired Guys, Mods:

I feel it's our duty to give back to these men in any way that we can. I'm not talking about the faggots that show up once in a while, post retarded shit to /r/askMRP or don't seem to be making any progress week to week. Fuck those guys. You know them when you see them if you've been around here long enough.

What I'm talking about are those guys that are struggling to figure anything out but at least they are "STFU, Sidebar, Lifting" their way to confusion. You have valuable advice, give it.

If a "man" (loosely used here) sends you a PM and you see he's been doing the work, maybe give him a pointer or two. He was lost like all of us here at some point, and he's only seeking knowledge. You should be the judge if he deserves your valuable time to return that message.

One of the most valuable things that I've experienced here is actually watching some of the guys that I exchange OYS comments or PMs with progress on their journey. Maybe the time that I invested in them was just as valuable to them. Of course I waste my time with faggots as well, but I know I can quickly weed them out.

So help a dude if it helps your mission. We want them to find the truth in the way that men should be today. We want a stronger masculine set of men to share this shit with. It's what helps my mission. Maybe it does yours.

Encourage them all to post in OYS so they can find their own Morpheus if they need one. It doesn't have to be you. Pointing a man in the right direction is allowing him to give the gift of freedom to himself. He still has to choose it.


[–]Balls_Wellington_ 17 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I have noticed that I do better when I post in OYS even if no one responds to me. It makes me reflect on where i need to improve.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That's because it's a great exercise in focusing your thoughts and introspecting. Even if it is a brain dump, at least you're processing and prioritizing what needs to be dumped. Sometimes it's "fuck that's so stupid... i don't want to post it."

[–]Balls_Wellington_ 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Like this week when I posted about having lived in a new city for 4 months and haven't made any male friends outside work. I hadn't put that into words before, and it made me face my laziness.

[–]part_wolf 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The OYS threads are more than just a gut check, they’re a yardstick for your own progress. If someone looks through your entire post history over a length of time, it’s going to be obvious as to whether they’re really doing the work and fucking it up or if they’re half-assing it.

[–]Balls_Wellington_ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a good point. I know when I look at a profile and see "OYS #56" and a stellar report, I give a lot of weight to their comments

[–]PillUpAss 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I keep some of my “fuck that’s so stupid” drafts that never get posted as baselines. The first OYS I ever wrote (and never posted) had endless she’s in it and was one big faggot negotiation with my mental image of my wife. It had endless, needless detail in it too, stemming from my inability to analyze and interpret basic patterns. I don’t think I could’ve made any meaningful progress without the exercise of having done that.

[–]red-sfpplus 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What if my Morpheus has no biceps?

[–]HornsOfApathy[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He might teach you to pee on chicks.

[–]red-sfpplus 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I already knew how to do that.

To get back to your post. I personally hardly ever respond to PM's. If I did, I would be sending /u/johneyapocalypse dick pics every day and I dont really roll like that.

But every now and again I do respond, I probably get 1-2 a week.

If I do not recognize your name then you dont get a response.

If you are not already posting in OYS, you dont get a response.

If I have not lit you on fire at least once in OYS, you dont get a response. If you took it like a faggot, you dont get a response.

I only post in OYS because my shit is unlike anything else I see going on here. I never used to post in OYS until the D got interesting.

Maybe I can be the poster child here for "What not to fucking do"

Who knows.

I'm just another data point for Excel guy over there to masturbate to.

[–]johneyapocalypse 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just sent you a pm.

[–]becoming_alpha 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Top notch stuff as usual, HOA. There are 28,000 subscribers to this sub but just a handful actively participating. That's a lot of lurkers who have licked the red pill, but are too scared to swallow it and see how much better their lives could be. I feel kind of bad for them knowing I was one of them for months before going all in.

The other thing that can happen when you post in OYS is that your people can find you. My Morpheus reached out to me after an OYS post (same religion and similar career, background, family, wife) and was there for me in my darkest moments through rape allegations and losing my dad. He has been a sounding board for me for nearly two years now and has provided me invaluable advice. Bohomo stuti, Morpheus.

[–]johneyapocalypse 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Your "morpheus" sounds more like a gay uncle.

Not everyone - as supported by your 28,000 subscribers comment - needs weekly feedback from someone else to learn and adjust.

Just because a dude is "lurking" and not posting does not mean he's "too scared to swallow (the pill) and see how much better (his life) could be."

Perhaps the dudes "lurking" are simply adjusting and applying what they learn - without the need for regular guidance from someone else - and are actually the strong ones?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perhaps the dudes "lurking" are simply adjusting and applying what they learn - without the need for regular guidance from someone else - and are actually the strong ones?

I chalk it up as a feature of OYS. Some dudes do it weekly, some dudes do it less. What's interesting is when guys doing weekly think "why do I keep reporting the same thing?"

[–]MeanPhysics 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a lot of room for self deception in this process, though. I've been hacking for a while, posted a first OYS this week, and but in one post, after some commentary from /u/man_in_the_world , I'm seeing where I've just been inaccurate in my self-appraisal. It's easy to convince yourself you're making progress if you're not posting.

[–]beta_buxxx 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This.

I began posting on OYS near the beginning of the year within two weeks of finding MRP because I knew I wouldn't accomplish jack shit without some level of accountability and outside insight. You can't unplug yourself. If you think you can, you're kidding yourself. You have blind spots that will be glaringly obvious to the rest of us.

Yes, I have gotten my shit kicked in. Lots. But it has kept me honest, focused, and helped kill my ego. I have a long way to go still, but I know I'll make it. And you can too.

Making a commitment to posting weekly, and keeping it, was one of the single best decisions I've made in my life. I'm dead serious about that.

[–]Sepean 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Spot on, man. Having been Morpheus to a few guys, it is a very rewarding experience. Part of it is how it tests your insights, you reflect on stuff you hadn’t thought consciously about for a long time and maybe even something you let slide without noticing. But most importantly it just feels right, helping a fellow man, giving it back.

[–]HornsOfApathy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perfect. I've noticed shit I've let slide a bit when responding to others myself.

[–]SBIII 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As STFU, Lift & Sidebar doesn't seem to be enough for some faggots, I've expanded the mantra for the retards:

STFU, Lift , Sidebar , OYS

[–]part_wolf 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perfection.

[–]EasyDaysHardNights 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Newbie Faggot reporting for duty.

[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (3 children) | Copy Link

Just a reminder though - flair doesn't mean shit. Newbies might make the mistake of thinking flair means something - they'd be wrong. All flaired users are retards on the internet just like everyone else.

I feel it's our duty to give back to these men in any way that we can

and no. it's really not.

all we're here to do is laugh at people while they continually fail and call them faggots.

you may wanna do that, but not me. you do you.

[–]part_wolf 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Motherfucker, every single criticism you’ve had of me has made me stronger, even if there’s not a single altruistic bone in your body. I don’t have to know your motivations to understand your value.

[–]Cho_Assmilk 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol. Gayest shit I've read all day.

[–]RP_PO 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It gave me a chub though

[–]andyturbo20001 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

“Stop shit testing your wife”. That comment to me in one of my OYS is still ringing in my ears. I needed the ridicule.

[–]capn_barnacles 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Mine was "You suck at this" by W/S of course. It hurts to hear the truth sometimes.

[–]Maximus_Valerius 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Mine came after over six months of posting in OYS. WNS told me that I wanted to be “a whiny little shit who wants to be a victim instead of taking ownership.”

It didn’t hurt. Instead it felt great because it revealed a fucked up mental model that I needed to change.

[–]sea-tease1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

"You lift like a little bitch" by hack3ge. "Some people can't see the rodent for the fur" from Man_in_the_world and "You are half assing it and need to COMMIT" - Simberlion.

[–]hack3ge 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You still do lift like a little bitch...

[–]SBIII 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If the lazy cunts can't find OYS by themselves and have the balls to post their sad fucking life stories there like the rest of us did, they can fuck off.

[–]RStonePT 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ha! fucking Jack.

You know he never read anything on the sidebar? It's too bad he wrote 4000 words to every idiot with a question, he may not have burned out if he was a little less patient with retards.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is that what happened?

[–]RStonePT 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Part of it. He was starting a company with his brother as well.

Plus he was not very fond of me. or he was, it was hard to tell at the end.

[–]red-sfpplus 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Plus he was not very fond of me. or he was, it was hard to tell at the end.

:evil grin:

[–]InChargeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I heard a hand written letter can really help to mend relationships.

[–]RPWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men sharing notes. Nothing more, nothing less. Listen or don't, doesn't matter either way. The hard part is unfucking yourself and your mental models. You can lie to everyone on this page and no one will ever know, but you can't lie to yourself. The mirror never lies.

[–]SteelSharpensSteel 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you owe that guy some scotch, if you know what I mean.

[–]rightsided 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for sharing this gold mine of knowledge.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do agree with this post, some guys will give a decent description of their problem and people think its cute now to just rant “SIDEBAR NOOB” over and over.

[–]RStonePT 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Show more investment in your life than the people who you asked to help you.

Seems fair

[–]Cloudy_Pirate 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good post.

I found this sub on a weekend and did my first OYS two days later. No lurking, I just jumped in. My initial feedback was actually relatively welcoming ("not a total sperg" by /u/The_Litz).

I've found that it's helpful for me to keep a journal. Doing it publicly increases my accountability and also opens it up for feedback from other men, but the biggest help is just knowing that I'm going to do it. Simply knowing that I'm going to log it helps me get up at 440am to be at the gym by 5am.

I think guys that put in the time to write up an OYS simply make progress faster than guys that don't. There are exceptions of course, but the OP /u/HornsOfApathy made his major breakthroughs when he started posting weekly rather than just periodically.

[–]JustAboutDone3070 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I need to do this... I’m almost 5 months in and have experienced great improvement with myself.

I always seem just a bit busy to sit down and begin typing it all out.

That being said it would be great to be able to interact with people here and maybe establish a few “online friends” to discuss things with.

[–]cm3105[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Posted twice, in last week got 1 reply. Reread my own post, realised some things. But still no reply.

[–]Deathmetal_deadlifts 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My progress is painfully slow. Without the OYS posts, it would be zero. I would have gone back to BP and stopped lifting by now if not for this thread.

[–]animal-mother1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

What's OYS?

[–]Over60_FireTempered3 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Orwellian Yodeling School. Invitation only.

[–]red-sfpplus 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Only Young Sloots

[–]RP_PO 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Orifice yeeting school

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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