A few months ago, my wife and I had one of our periodic talks (e.g., shit tests), where my wife comments that I’ve changed so much that she barely knows me, that I’m always so (insert negative quality) now when I used to be so (insert positive quality). This, of course, flies in the face of how she actually treated the old, supposedly better me and how little he got laid. But that’s women for you. A conversation like this about once a month is pretty par for the course if you’re one of those guys who got married when you were an ass-kissing loser that spent the first part of his marriage tiptoeing on eggshells, afraid of pissing his wife off.
A wife gets comfortable with you being an obedient, eager-to-please loser who works all day to support her style of living and always sacrifices everything he wants to please her, only to get bitched at anyway. I think the modern term for that is an equal partnership. As soon as you start living your own life, that’s seen as a power grab. You’ll be tested every five minutes to see how serious you really are about this -- everything from making fun of you to pretending it’s not working to denying sex to threatening divorce. If you’ve been a loser for an extended period of time, you’ll have quite a long hurricane to ride out. But remember: This isn’t a failing of your wife. You’re the failure. After years and years of living your life as a timid loser, she doesn’t trust you to lead your family, nor should she.
This particular encounter, however, my wife was actually right. She said I’m no fun. I’m always so serious now. Every day, I wake up at the crack of dawn and throw myself into a workout, I’m serious about what I eat and what I feed my family, I’m serious about my job, I’m serious about getting shit around the house done, I’m even serious about the books I read in what little spare time I have. Everything’s so damn serious.
When my wife tosses a bitchy shit test at me, I almost respond mechanically. Even when I agree and amplify, I’m doing it like a robot. She almost always circles around again to bitch some more, until I give her a hard and serious no. Our exchanges hadn’t been fun. They’d been serious.
In this huge Red Pill journey, it’s easy to forget Women 101. We get so caught up in improving our lives and being exactly a certain way to maximize our results with women. We hang out on the internet talking about it seriously, finding ways to do it better, finding ways to be more effective at life, finding ways to get more serious about serious stuff. We forget something important. We forget to have fun.
That douchebag all of the women at the club keep grinding against? He’s not thinking about his workout tomorrow morning. He’s not counting the calories in his vodka. His mind’s not consumed about work on Monday. And when a woman gives him some shit, he doesn’t give her a serious look and make his intolerance for her disrespect clear. He just parties, drinks, dances, has a good time, and shoots his mouth off. He’s having fun. And if he’s having fun, the women around him are having fun.
Your plates, girlfriends, wives, future women – they want to be with a guy that’s fun. You still have to do the work and get shit done, but you need to learn to enjoy the work. If you’re not having fun living your life as a Red Pill man or a Red Pill man in the making, you’re doing it wrong. So get out there and kick some ass, but don’t forget to have fun doing it.