Red Pill TheoryEmbrace the Suck (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by trpfieldreport

Among my favorite pieces of advice I was ever given, was the advice to “Embrace the Suck”.

Seven years ago I was a firefighter in training, and as part of that training I was required to face two of my biggest fears; tight spaces and lack of air. In basic structural firefighter training, a lot of jurisdictions put their recruits through a maze. In my circumstance, the maze consisted of a shipping container filled with passageways no larger than an air duct, with obstacles requiring you to get very uncomfortable to overcome. All of this while being completely in the dark, in full firefighting gear, on an air pack and with instructors actively breaking your equipment. They literally reach through holes in the construction and turn off your air, disconnect your hoses and yank at your equipment. And if you take off your mask or otherwise break the seal it has around your face – game over, you lose.

Being a 6’3, 210lb guy I was at a strong disadvantage for this course. Smaller people would be able to do most of the maze on their hands and knees. I would have to go in like a slug, hands stretched in front of me. 15 minutes of claustrophobia, summer heat and asshole instructors threatening your air supply.

Needless to say, I wasn’t the only recruit feeling anxiety about this part of the course. The maze is performed in the second week of training because it quickly weeds out those who don’t have the mental toughness to pass it. And it is a bit of legend that everyone talks about. The instructors treat like a bogeyman. “Oh, you think you’re having fun now. Wait til you get to the maze.” Other firefighters you meet will ask “Have you guys done the maze yet?” with a smile. Old timers will laugh and tell you how in their day the maze was some tarps and 4x4s. Everyone talks about it and tells you just how bad it is. It’s designed to scare you, to intimidate you and to challenge you.

Quite frankly, it’s designed to suck.

The maze was the constant topic of conversation in class, and it was often pointed out how much it was going to suck. And then some genius, resigned to the fate of the suck gave us all an injection of motivation with the phrase: “Embrace the Suck.”

“Embrace the suck” wasn’t a new phrase. Everyone’s probably heard it before, but in that circumstance it finally rang true in my mind. The maze was coming, it had to be passed if I wanted to be a firefighter, and it was going to suck. Why get down, why get intimidated, why get scared? Embrace the fact that it’s going to suck, and get it done.

The maze came and went, and with it a couple of recruits went. Most made it through, and as we came out of the maze one by one, we were met with high fives and “Embrace the suck” from our fellow recruits, all laughing and smiling. Pretty soon, “Embrace the suck” was our primary means of communicating.

A classmate would say “Got in a fight with my girlfriend”, and the rest of us would respond together “Embrace the suck, man.” Complaining about an instructor riding your ass was met with “Embrace it, baby. Embrace that suck.” Just finished racking hoses and have an instructor yell at us to do it again for one small mistake. Nothing to do but embrace that suck.

It became our official class motto. On our class t-shirt we opted to skip calling ourselves “Smoke Eaters” or “Fire Angels” or some other annoyingly masturbatory name for our class and went with “Embrace the Suck” instead.

The phrase got our class through recruit school. It served as a reminder that the light at the end of the tunnel was worth it, and to reach that end we had to accept that it was going to suck on the way.

And seven years later, “Embrace the Suck” is my motto in life.

What’s the lesson? Simple.

Life is going to suck at times. Lifting weights causes pain. It sucks. Controlling your diet takes effort and involves withholding from things you want. It sucks. Approaching that girl and getting shot down is embarrassing. It sucks. Going to work and going through the ringer. It sucks. Managing your relationships. It sucks. Getting your financial house in order sucks. Studying for tests and doing homework sucks. Turning off the TV to get shit done, that sucks too.

Swallowing the Red Pill sucks. Recognizing that most of what you were taught about your role as a man in society is false, and that the Disney love you thought existed doesn’t really; it sucks.

Life is designed to be a long sequence of suck interrupted by moments of greatness.

You can get down about it. You can get mad. You can get indignant.

You can even avoid the suck opting instead to sit on the couch, avoid the gym, not approach that girl, work that low end job with no future and stay Blue Pill. Beta Bux gets the girl in the end anyway, right?

But if you want to become a great man, live a great life and make the most of your brief existence on this little rock, you’re going to have to embrace it. You’re going to have to wake up every day with a list of things you have to do that are going to suck, and tell yourself with a smile “Embrace the suck”.

And quickly you will find that by embracing the fact that it sucks, things seem to suck less. In fact you start to enjoy the suck.

[–][deleted] 90 points91 points  (4 children)

Finding comfort in the discomfort opens doors to self improvement that you never knew were even there. In your case, you know you made it through that crazy ass maze, this leads to you being able to face any obstacle that comes your way with unwavering confidence.

As TRP has stated time and again, confidence is key.

Edit: Spelling

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (3 children)

True confidence (inner game) is hard won through adversity. You don't even know what you have until you are pushed to your limit.

[–]SplashArtist 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Aint that the truth. Ive been waging an inner battle that is turning me into the master at accepting pain and anxiety. I used to get depressed about it but now i just keep going through the obstacles of suck that are layed out in front of me.

[–]1Ronin11A 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Overcoming some kind of crucible, be it physical or psychological (or better yet, both) is essential to becoming a solid man. The ability to look back at the achievement, even years down the road, gives you the confidence to tackle new challenges with the right attitude.

It's a quintessential step in the creation of genuinely masculine character, which is probably why it's under social fire and disappearing.

I was hazed as a novice rowing crew in college; getting through earned me my spot in the boathouse.

I was hazed as a fraternity pledge in college; getting through earned me the right to wear the Greek letters.

I was "hazed" going through the Infantry Officer's course; getting through earned me the right to wear the crossed rifles and blue cord.

Yet even the military is under pressure to become more emotionally sensitive, fraternities are under pressure to be more inclusive, and most sports teams can't get away now with what we did (and it's only been 12 years).

Adversity FORGES strength, which is why feminist society tries so hard to remove any trace of it.

NOTE: I use the term "hazing" as a broad description for sleep deprivation, physical training (push ups, pull ups, fireman carries, et cetera), and generally being denied the right to modern "comforts" during that period (sleeping on the floor at the boathouse for a week, for example). I was never beaten, molested, or even had my life put in real danger during these trials, and wouldn't condone any behavior that would.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (42 children)

A lot of people support the draft because it gives boys this lesson you're talking about. I'm against the draft, but I think all boys should go through something that sucks to become better men.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 28 points29 points  (20 children)

I can't agree with this enough.

I was a soft, beta mangina with small bursts of masculinity. But, I was never put in difficult situations that forced me to grow until I made the decision myself.

I think it's vital that boys be put in situations where they have to rely on themselves and be faced with their shortcomings.

I never had to as a kid. I rode on natural ability without ever having to push myself in school or the sports I did play. And I got decent results which isn't much considering how low the bar is.

[–]87GNX 18 points19 points  (17 children)

I think parents sort of instinctively understood this 70 years ago.

Then feminism.

[–]CrimsonDeep 13 points14 points  (16 children)

I think parents sort of instinctively understood this 70 years ago.

Then feminism.

I'll add to that ; then liberalism happened. Feminism is just the instrument to help decay society faster.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 6 points6 points [recovered]

You're exactly right, there is a general feeling on here that we should separate politics from TRP. The two are not mutually exclusive, you can be a completely blue pill conservative and conservative ideals are not necessarily red pill, but I would argue that you cannot be on the far left politically and also be Red Pill. The ideologies are opposed.

[–]SekretSkwirrel 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Not for me, they aren't. Economic liberal for sure. Just makes more logical sense to me. Used to be more socially liberal, but I guess I'm more socially conservative now that I've swallowed the pill. I should add the caveat that I've never really considered myself "far" left, but that's all subjective and relative. I've never considered myself a centrist, either.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 4 points4 points [recovered]

I typically do not have strong opinions on economic decisions on a large scale, as I am simply not qualified to make sweeping judgements of a field in which I am not trained, but social liberals are ruining this country, and their economic policy is one of their weapons. Redistribution of wealth is primarily about taking money from men and giving it to women. Women are the primary beneficiaries of social programs, and liberal policy is most concerned with supporting and maintaining the vote of women and their pussy beta followers.

[–]SekretSkwirrel 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I have to admit I've been taking a hard look at social programs since swallowing the pill, due to the exact thing you mentioned there. IMHO it's really important to make sure that all the wealth doesn't get too concentrated at the top, because it's useless there. The marginal utility of money decreases the more of it you have. First yacht is fun, nobody ever buys more than one, though. Aggregate low- and middle-class consumer spending is what drives the economy. If low- and middle-class Americans have money, they spend it immediately, and that provides income for entrepreneurs and jobs for everyone. Google "virtuous cycle" if you feel like it.

But I do agree with you that there are some negative social implications. I only recently realized the extent of those implications due to having swallowed the pill, and haven't had much time to reanalyze the entire model with consideration to these newly discovered implications.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Leftism is blue pill and I think you'll realize it's faults after a while. Economic inequality becomes greater with socialism because it divides the population clearly into subjects and rulers, while a free economic system has a more smooth curve of wealth distribution. Don't believe socialism will take away money from the ultra-rich, these are the people who created socialism in the first place.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 2 points2 points [recovered]

Taxation is a complicated issue. I don't trust the government to make wise financial decisions with our tax dollars, but I just don't really have a choice. I think extreme wealth is like extreme gluttony. I agree that once you have a certain amount of money, whats the point? I would be in favor of an 'exponential tax', with a smooth tax increase as you go from <10k to ~300K a year, then a very steep climb after that. Maybe this would simply cause CEOs to increase their own salary to ridiculous levels to make up for taxation, but hopefully shareholders/boards would prevent that big of a loss of resources. The problem is our government is controlled by lobbying and big corporations, so those types of laws will never be passed.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If people made great money fair-and-square they deserve to keep it. Justice isn't something you can adjust for government budget. An inventor selling a product deserves to be paid the same when he sells the one thousandth as when he sold the first.

When people become ultra-rich without having done something that changed the world then you know the system is corrupted and they're making their money through banking, insurance or deals with the government.

[–]slcjosh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the social contract. Hobbes and Locke speak of it.

[–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is wrong on a couple fronts, I think.

First, on the social front, the traditional conservatives ("tradcons") offer up even more man-shaming and pussy-pedestalizing than the median liberal does. Dalrock does an excellent job of outlining the issues there.

Second, on the economic front, it's tough not to notice that when we still had a functioning patriarchy, we had unions. Strong, bad-ass unions that weren't afraid to get shot at or blow shit up. Other countries similarly - look at the French revolution in the 1700s.

The modern neoliberal focus on "free markets" and on lowering taxes on the richest, etc directly jives with the rise of feminism in America, and why wouldn't? Women worship badboy alphas, strong men who take advantage of the weak, so is it any wonder our social and legal systems seem tailor made for the Jamie Dimons of the world? Hypergamy don't care, baby.

In a functioning patriarchy the provider betas are self-organizing and a force to be reckoned with, which is why corporate America is every bit as much a force for feminism as the shrieking campus harpies are.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 1 points1 points [recovered]

Conservatives are about not giving you shit you DIDNT earn and not taking away shit you DID earn. Liberals are all about the distribution of wealth from rich men to single mothers and slackers. Left-ism and the entire liberal movement is meant to move away from traditional values and play right intothe hand of feminism. You hamster the connection between the two away all you want, but you're only fooling yourself. You need only look at the rest of reddit, perhaps one of the biggest collections of blue pillers ever gathered in one place to see what a group of liberals looks like.

Unions are only a positive when they don't decide to take advantage of their collective bargaining power. Fighting against unfair working hours at the steel mills? great. When I was a teenager I worked at the department of transportation and they actually had ME, at 17, signing payrolls and comparing payouts to cost estimates for iron workers and some other unionized tradesmen. They got away with charging completely ridiculous hourly rates ($120/hr for a guy who put some wire on rebar connections), a lot of that money going to the Union itself, which then used that money for lobbying power. And they would do a shitty job, but their unionization gave them preference over other contractors in the area. Unions are no better than corporations, because unions pretty much are corporations now.

[–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You addressed none of my points, instead choosing to regurgitate a slop of strawmen and hackneyed cliches.

Let me make it simpler for you. In order to have a functioning patriarchy, men need to be providers. In order for men to be providers, they need to be paid a fair day's wage for a fair day's work. That's not happening right now, and all of the current GOP economic proposals - lower capital gains, privatized social security, etc - stand to make the situation worse.

[–]HedRotPiliCeppers 1 points1 points [recovered]

Yep, its just that simple. Follow whatever the democrats are doing, and you'll do just fine! You think the democrats are trying to preserve the patriarchy?

Continue to support the Hamster Hand of Feminism Party all you want, I choose to vote third party. All you need to do is take one look at your leaders to see how utter shit the democratic party is. And the further left you go, the more fucked up and retarded the candidates become. Do you honestly believe hillary clinton or nancy pelosi are going to pass legislature strengthening unions, or will they reluctantly vote for a party line bill favoring unions, then cram tons of feminist dogma into the same bill? Your link to very general graphs proves absolutely nothing. The fact that unions abuse their power and operate like mini-mob corporations is not any kind of shocking revelation. No shit hourly compensation has gone down, we just came out of a huge regression. not to mention the fact that hourly work with high income wages like construction and manufacturing related jobs are just disappearing, often because the cost of labor is too high. Raising that price doesnt make those jobs return, it just drives more of those jobs to asia or causes them to hire less skilled workers (undocumented mexicans). Its also a reflection of the shift from a manufacturing based market to a service based market. The way to raise those prices back up is to make americans value the increase in quality and the boost to the economy associated with buying american made goods and services. I've stopped buying things made in china. Its expensive as hell, but I think its an important step to return trade skills to the country.

I'll leave you with this thought: Every blue haired land whale SJW you see ranting on tumblr votes for the same people you are voting for.

also: http://www.newsmaxhealth.com/Health-News/republicans-physically-stronger-people/2013/05/16/id/504872/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

conservative ideals are not necessarily red pill

Conservative ideals are much more closely aligned with the Red Pill by their very nature. But you're right in saying that being a conservative doesn't necessarily make a RPer; however being of the right wing would make the dissemination of RP ideas much more logical to a right winger than it would to a leftist.

The left wing and the RP are grossly incompatible.

[–]slcjosh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The whole "everyone is a winner" mentality has to fucking stop. We are destroying our society by accepting and praising mediocrity. This is a great point.

[–]TooMuchToDoo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My friends and I were talking about this the other day. One of them mentioned that when he gets older and his kids start the biological process from boy to man, he intends to put his boys through a rite of passage to signify the transition from the former to the latter. He also intends to make it a family tradition. I'm thinking about doing something similar, perhaps involving a physical object(s) to be passed down from generation to generation.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 16 points17 points  (10 children)

I'm a veteran, and having been an NCO I don't favor the draft. I strongly prefer that my people want to be there and do a good job. Volunteers are better than conscripts, even those who don't realize the reason they get the benefits is by doing the tough stuff.

“he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse; We would not die in that man's company

[–]CoriolanusRevisited 4 points5 points  (9 children)

As a Marine infantry veteran, I completely agree with you here. It's hard enough dealing with, leading, and training the shitheads and slackers that volunteer for active duty combat roles, haha.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Fuckin eh. Damn reserves from California complaining "this isn't what I signed up for, I just wanted the college money" when the fucker is deployed to Kuwait, making $86 per deim, and has a room in the fucking Raddison hotel. I pulled him aside and informed him, "this is what you gotta do to earn that college money, and you could be dodging mortars and random sniper rounds in Iraq, be happy you're making bank in fucking Kuwait."

Fucking kids these days. Bitching when they have it better than I did in conus.

[–]MrExpress 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Seriously, if I could deploy to Ali Asaleem for 6 months I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat. Great chow, awesome gym, internet, and a rec center just no booze. These fucks don't know a godamn thing about the suck.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (6 children)

No shit, when I was at that one everyone was in tents. It was a major shithole, still Kuwait wasn't a bad gig.

[–]1Ronin11A 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Kuwait is a fucking joke, other than being an oven.

I disagree with the all volunteer force. I feel like 100% volunteers breeds careerism, people who won't rock the boat because they're just looking for that next bar or stripe. Some of the finest soldiers in American history were the result of a draft.

I think a 50/50 split would do the MIL good. 50% can be career, volunteers, but keeping 50% non-career will hopefully lead to some people willing to rock the boat and buck the status quo a bit more. It will lead to some shitbags that don't belong, but we already have that in the 100% force.

Of all my fellow officers I served with, less than 20% stayed in because we all ultimately weren't willing to endure the asinine, bureaucratic bullshit that prevented genuine, meaningful change and improvement. The nail in the coffin for me was having to counsel my best squad leader and one of the finest E-6's I'd ever met because he was built like a brick house, and thus didn't meet height and weight standards. 500-lb deadlift, and a 12:00 two-mile time. But BMI said he was over, so I had to "counsel" him and put that shit in his file. I dropped my ETS packet the following Monday.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Agreed, Kuwait was easy shit and it really depends on the individual. I had dirtbags and some stellar kids that fucked up early on but changed almost completely. Then the mediocre kids got free rides because they didn't make waves. Lots of political bullshit.

I too was one of those too big for standards, even with a six pack I was morbidly obese according to them. Always marked down on performance reports in that area, even when I was ripped. Gave up trying to be good enough and studied harder to make up for it. Didn't matter that in my mid 30s I was doing more than the 18-24 kids had to do, with time to spare. I was disgustingly fat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You almost certainly were disgustingly fat. When everyone around you is telling you to lose the weight, you should stop denying the truth.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's incredibly difficult to lose muscle. Pinch test 12%bf, BMI morbidly obese. Thanks to the tape method I know have no neck.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agree. Our society has no initiation into manhood. Nothing that requires strength, discipline or courage. Not only does our society lack a specific path into manhood, it lacks encouragement of this process from both men and women. Think of Sparta and how they sent 12 year olds out into the wild alone for weeks and if they returned home they were now men. We have nothing of the sort. We are told to be "good" and do what is expected of us.

Also older men don't feel the need to contribute to a younger mans development into a man. There is no help or encouragement. Boys have no role models. No mentors. We have lost that male companionship which catapults boys into men.

This is why traditional things such as becoming a fire fighter or joining the army can catapult soft ass men into real men. The young men all experience the same struggle, endure the hardships, and come out alive on the other side a new man. Having that camaraderie is essential for a man. If you have never been a part of a team or group with similar, positive interests you are truly missing out.

[–]1003rp 0 points1 point  (8 children)

For me it was joining a fraternity. I think that pledging is a decent alternative to boot camp assuming the fraternity pledging isn't pussified.

[–]coldsud 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have to disagree for the pure sense of difficulty. Pledging is kinda like going to the gym and seeing how long you can sit in the hot tub or sauna. Joining the military is like going to the gym and and trying to throw your back out with stupid weight on a deadlift.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Pledging is easy and somewhat silly in comparison, but it is probably better than nothing. Achievements which are hard fought and won through perseverance are more satisfying than the easy ones. Being part of a group that has to earn membership creates bonds not easily broken.

[–]1003rp 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Pledging varies greatly from fraternity to fraternity. Saying pledging is easy is just not overall true.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Compared to two months of boot, then job training, then everything after, yeah it's not that bad, maybe like a couple weeks of Navy or Coast Guard basic.

[–]1003rp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm not sayin it's the same as boot camp but I'll never be joining the military so it's the best alternative I had

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In that respect I agree, it's better than nothing. A rite of passage, and inclusion into a group of men who also passed the same or similar rite.

[–]TooMuchToDoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From one who's done both, I'd have to disagree with you there. The concept is the same, but the experience of the two are worlds different. The biggest difference is that the goal of pledging is to put you through shit for the sake of putting you through shit, whereas basic training puts you through specific periods of shit for very specific reasons. Instructors at basic always have a reason for why they make you do certain things.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (14 children)

In fact you start to enjoy the suck.

When I started lifting, it SUCKED. I mean, I was doing stronglifts for 30 minutes and I HATED pushing myself. For the 2nd and 3rd week I probably only went twice that week.

And just like you stated once or twice here, embracing the suck helped me commit to it and now I am ADDICTED to the gym. Embracing the suck now means I have to take a rest day.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That excitement I get on deadlift day, counting the hours til I can go lift a heavy thing that hurts.. borderline psychotic.

[–]strangelyversatile 6 points7 points  (11 children)

How long till you enjoy the suck? i'm still struggling with pushing myself

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

It's not a switch that gets flipped. It's a gradual transition from avoiding pain to enjoying pain.

[–]uppermostless 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pardon my english for what I may say.

Unless you are a masochist, you don't truly enjoy pain. What would be more accurate is to say that you understand than pain subsides and after pain comes some sort of reward.

For instance, when it comes to training, at first, yes, everyone gets annoyed by delayed on set muscle soreness (DOMS) or simply put that feel when your muscles are in pain.

With time, you get used to that pain and you enjoy it only because you what something good will come out of it. It is a form of reinforcment.

This same example can be applied to anything that is annoying but has a positive flipside. For another scenario, think of one where you start talking to a girl. She's annoying. She's dumb. She's uninteresting. She's high maintenance. She's childish. If killing were legal, you'd end her because of how much she irritates you. But if you're so full of hormones, and that you are in a scenario you know where she will fuck you if you let her rant on whatever dull topic, that all you want to do is fuck her, then you get some enjoyment out of it.

Imagine that same scenario, but with no lay or no reward at the end, would you enjoy talking to that same girl? Unless you are a masochist and pain alone gets you off, then no.

In Eric Thomas' words " Pain is temporary. It will subside. If I quit however, it will last forever".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hey I'm glad that you asked! Around 2 months was it for me.

I started lifting stronglifts in late June. By the third week of september our gym at work closed for renovation and me and my workbuddies were at a crossroads. I joined CalFit and they joined a crosspilatesfitboxingyogaspin gym down the street. It's actually an athlete-conditioning gym which has compound lifting and crossfit elements. By that time we had made a pact that we would all get bigger and stronger. I introduced the pill to them and we always have spirited discussions about Rational Male articles and hypergamy over lunch.

I hired a personal trainer when I started. I wanted to make sure that my form was correct and that the routine I was doing was actually producing results. So being forced to track my progress on paper to someone who would be holding me accountable was necessary for me to get that 5-6 day-a-week momentum going. I had a PT for 2 months and it was brutal, but like physics, the routine stuck. With the creatine/preworkout/whey/BCAA supps and the routine/high calorie diet I saw results FAST and I was hooked.

If you can't afford a PT for 2 months (2 sessions a week @ ~200 bucks a month), get a buddy or go to a gym like my buddies did which has a routine. Track your progress and diet too; apps like fitocracy work extremely well with tracking your exercises.

[–]strangelyversatile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man thanks for the advice! I don't think I can afford a PT but i'll defo hit up some mates that know their shit!

[–]bwgsu 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've been lifting since last June. For me I've found that the enjoying the suck comes and goes. Most weeks now I'm super pumped to go to the gym, but every now and then there is just a busy week where I want to skip it altogether. No matter what now, though, I always leave the gym feeling amazing. It's been like this since about month 3.

[–]strangelyversatile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I'm always glad I went at the end of a sesh

[–]1beerthroway 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Yeah it was gradual for me also. I had to force myself to go twice a week for a few months. Then it was just something I got used to. Then since I had established a routine I decided that had proven to myself that I could maintain, I ordered some preworkout (bullnox, can recommend) and felt that boost and used my TRP learning and anxiety from that to push harder. I saw some great gains in a short time which helped me really enjoy the liveliness and exertion and accomplishment of the act of lifting.

Get into a habit and get some kind of pre workout. Maybe it'll work for you like it worked for me.

[–]strangelyversatile 0 points1 point  (2 children)

cheers man, do preworkouts make you bulk or do they just get you mega pumped?

[–]1beerthroway 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A good preworkout mix should have things that help prevent muscle breakdown, so that leads to more mass. Things like beta alanine and citrulline are fantastic for that. Plus spiking insulin around your workout is a great plan also.

Look at examine.com, there is a ton of info with citations.

I've personally just got through a bottle of Bullnox, really great. It's not super heavy on the stimulants but the endurance factor is nice, plus I really did see faster gains with it, though that's possibly because I could lift more and heavier. Jack3d was a bit more stimulating, but I didn't get as much muscle. I'm currently trying Nitroflex, and that seems to really be stimulating also, and it's supposed to increase testosterone like Bullnox. I've only used it once so I can't say long term yet.

But basically, a good preworkout should get you pumped, stimulated, and help build muscle by providing more energy and nutrients to your muscles so that there is very little breakdown.

[–]strangelyversatile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awesome stuff, will do some research. Never even thought about taking anything... cheers for the info

[–]DonArturo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In the burning heart
In the warrior's code
There's no surrender
Though his body says stop
His spirit cries: never!
Deep in our soul
A quiet ember
Know it's you against you
It's the paradox
That drives us on
It's a battle of wills
In the heat of attack
It's the passion that kills
The victory is yours alone

"Burning Heart" by Survivor

[–]meet_me_at_high_noon 30 points31 points  (12 children)

I've been a runner for about ten years. Theres been countless days out on the road where its mile ten and I'm exhausted and it hurts. Its cold my knee is sore I feel heavy. Then race day comes and Im strong and fast and awesome.

Long periods of suck and sweet, sweet moments of excellence.

[–]liftweights 7 points8 points  (11 children)

ran for the first time in the cold last night at 20 F with some decent wind. that isn't that cold for cold weather climate residents but I felt like I got fucked in the throat hole by the abominable snowman. needless to say I couldn't keep a jogging pace even being a sporadic runner, not usually a cardio guy hence the name. it indeed sucked

[–]fermbetterthanfire 14 points15 points  (0 children)

When I was 11 I was burned severely in a gasoline fire. You spend 6 months in the hospital with only children burn victims around you. Some make it, some don't. You are told you probably won't walk again, you tell the doctor fuck you. Can't sleep from the pain and the wet sticky sheets from all your blood that will be that way no matter how frequently they are changed. You embrace the suck. There isn't an option 2.

Edit: wanted to also add, thanks for your service as a firefighter. It's rough in the flames and often more rough when you make it out. Cheers.

[–]lycanthr0py 12 points12 points [recovered]

I feel this like fuck OP. This is how it is working in powerhouse maintenance. It's hot. It's dark. It's nasty. Coal dust, fly ash, arsenic. You can't hear or breathe. The boiler is 1000 degrees. Loud as 2 jets fucking. The journeymen treat you like shit. You carry heavy shit all day. Your whole body is covered in sweat and insulation and dirt. You breathe through a respirator. Think 5 10 hour shifts a week is bad? Guess what? we turned the unit off, so the plant is losing money. We need this shit done. Now. So you go on 7 12 hour shifts. Your life is the suck until the outage is over. From 4 in the morning til 8 when you lie down to sleep exhausted.

We started this class with 70 apprentices. It's been 6 months and now there are 20. The whiners, criers, bitches and mentally weak pussies can't hack it. The ones that remain are my fucking brothers. We keep each other going. One man saved me from falling 30 feet because a scaffold guy fucked up a gate.

Why do we do it? Because one day we'll be journeymen making hard cash. We get the brotherhood of the union, a pension, good insurance and very good pay. When the work season is over and my bank account is swole as fuck and I have the whole summer to chill I'll be glad I embraced the suck. Not to mention all the overtime will be paying off my mortgage quick.

"embrace the suck" is powerful.

Eventually it sucks so bad you kinda "lose your mind" as we say and suddenly, everything is funny. Youre light as a feather. You feel good despite it, you are joking with the men and you know you will get it done because you already hit your limit and broke through. My marine friend says this happens to them on ruck marches. They start out good, get tired as hell and want to die, then something snaps and by the end they are all clowning with each other. Great post.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Finding humor in dark situations is a universal sign that you're handling it well.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 2 points3 points  (1 child)

where can i find this camaraderie without entering the military or hard manual labor? I've already invested my life in being an animator/visual effects artist (which no doubt involves it's own deal of suck) but there's undeniably a different breed of men in your lines of work. Where else might I find that?

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

start your own business. Take risks. Maybe even fail. But go balls fucking out to try and succeed

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (2 children)

It's 130f outside, you're in the belly of a 767 throwing bags for everyone on your deployment. You're busting your ass because the plane is leaving in two hours and your shit will go with it if it isn't unloaded in time. Planes get hot on the ramp, especially in the desert and Kuwait gets hot. No breeze, just more heat, and you're working frantically moving heavy green bags. No, there are no girls on the detail, they are inside with the AC on getting some water and a bite to eat. You're one of the ten to fifteen lucky men who unloads the plane, then gets on a bus while the girls are all freshened up after the flight.

That's just the start of the suck. You're here for a while and it's only May, the real heat is coming. You do the tough to complete and hard to do work, because you can, those who can't are coddled. You earned the suck by being not only good at what you do, but by being tough enough to handle it. Thats why you outrank the two dirtbags who are your bitches on this detail. They earned it too, but not in the same way.

You will have the best stories, memories, and experiences, and probably the worst but you will know someone who has it worse than you do.

Men are built this way, hard, tough, capable, and it results in confidence because you have seen it worse than some bimbo turning you down, or someone complaining about inane bullshit that they won't remember in two months. Your memories are lifetime lasting, because not just anyone can do what you did.

Without the suck, you don't grow, without growth, you don't gain as much confidence. Without confidence your life sucks.

[–]Day_C_Metrollin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Been there brother. Goddamn that was some suck but I love being able to say I did it

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The next trip to the desert was the least amount of suck for a deployment. They paid me back for all the times I was fucked before. People still bitched on that one, but they never been before. Idiots.

[–]slcjosh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This reminds me a lot of something my father said to me in recent years.

My dad was a very successful self employed business man for afew decades until political change caused his business to no longer be as profitable. He decided to take up a new "career", working for a company selling a good product. That product does have lots of competition, but it is a great product.

He easily could have just curled up and whined about how he used to be his own boss, etc etc. But he is a fantastic salesmen and is doing very well. His hours are horrendous his boss is a fucking asshole. Yet he just flat kills it.

I asked him after like, 23 beers how he really felt about it all. He simply said "Son, I really don't give a fuck. Success is my only option." Then he puffed his cigar and laughed, and repeated "I dont give a FUCK".

Great post man.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Yes. This is it. If it were easy everyone would do it. Welcome challenge, adversity, pain...these are some of our best teachers but you have to embrace it, put yourself in front of it, in order to learn from it.

[–]metallica11 6 points7 points  (5 children)

My dating life has been pure suck for the past 7 years with no resolution in sight, even after all the pain of improvement. I'm simply exhausted, don't care anymore, view it as a terrible cost-benefit. Tons of Energy, Time, and Money wasted.

Other facets of my life: Career, Body, Passions, Hobbies, Traveling - I am very satisfied and have seen the fruits of my labor.

This is how MGTOW is born. (from my perspective).

At least I can say I tried, I have that.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think you need to revisit your expectations of a good dating life. And I think you shine too much light on it.

Dating is an after thought. The things in my life like fitness, travel, career, friends - those are where my mind is all day and night, with brief interruptions for dating.

It's a much healthier relationship with "dating" than I used to have where the dating was the pinnacle.

Shift your lens - fuck your dating life, focus on the shit that matters.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remember the most important thing about MGTOW is convincing yourself you made the right decision.

[–]wegwerflogin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great stuff!

This reminds me a bit of the epic quote at the end of the movie Layer Cake:

"You’re born, you take shit. Get out in the world, you take more shit. Climb a little higher, take less shit. Till one day you’re up in the rarified atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son."

I highly recommend that movie if you like Daniel Craig.

EDIT: damn smartphone swallowed my text after pastng the quote...

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Embrace the suck is an appropriate model for things in life that can elevate you to greater things (self-image, self potential, etc.). One area you should NOT being embracing it is in your interaction with women.

"Bad marriage? It's life, deal with it." No motherfuckers, don't accept it for what it is. Your interactions with people is where you don't have to deal with it, unless you're dealing with your employers... in which case, there may or may not be an incentive for dealing with it.

[–]LuvBeer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of Muhammed Ali's quote: "I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'" Awesome post.

[–]AbioticFountain 3 points3 points [recovered]

I always think of one passage I heard when I was younger: this too will pass. It's a similar idea, where you just accept what is happening and make the best of it. Embrace the suck. I like it, the two almost work in tandem:

This too will pass; embrace the suck.

[–]CoriolanusRevisited 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The real beauty of that quote, which I believe was from the Stoics, is that it can be used during both your worst moments, and your best moments. So weather you just got served divorce papers or have been made the youngest VP in your company's history, you realize to be detached and mature about your own fleeting circumstances.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think it's much different (though I like /u/CoriolanusRevisited's spin on it) because saying this too will pass is sort of saying you just have to wait a bit for it to be over and then you can relax again and take it easy. Whereas OP is saying that you must live presently inside the pain because it is growth.

"this too will pass" is oriented towards the relaxing time after the pain. Embrace the suck is saying living without the pain is not really living in the first place.

[–]AntixD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

posts like this is what trp is about and requires more of,I Wish I had the time to contribute such experiences to the sub

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It seems all of philosophy centers around this idea. An idea of overcoming struggle and fulfilling your potential. Essentially, how you choose to view your situation is all the power you have.

"Everything can be taken from man, but one thing. The last of human freedoms - to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way." - Victor Frankl

[–]dabrah1 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Lifting sucks. Reading sucks. Working sucks. School sucks. The 5 girls your fucking because your an atheltic, smart, and wealthy man? That shits awesome. The new car in your driveway? Thats awesome. You have to "embrace the suck" to earn the good things in life.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Lifting, reading, working, school can all be awesome and very fulfilling. If your idea of the good life is a few wet holes and a car that will lose half it's value when you drive it off the lot...then you have learned nothing from TRP.

[–]Venkas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get how exercise sucks. I started on Sunday and worked out five days in a row for an hour. I LOVE it, I feel great knowing I'm working on a better me for me. "Embrace the suck" for yourself alone.

[–]dabrah1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The idea of the red pill is going for what you want and not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. "What you want" is subjective and obviously different for each person. Of course I want to do all those things to be a better person. But I would also like some wet holes and a banging car. If you think that makes me dumb, inferior whatever then go fuck yourself. I honestly could care less.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this phrase. I can honestly say that the best feelings in the world come after a long, enduring period of straight suck. Military training? 4 weeks of shit, but at the end you feel like a new man. Long runs early in the morning? The whole fucking run is awful, but when you can kick back and turn on the tv and feel like a boss afterwards, it makes embracing the suck worth it.

[–]SabaBoBaba 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them?' So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe. 

[–]aazav 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The faster you embrace it, the faster you come to terms with it, the faster you can deal with it and get past it.

Embrace the suck.

Thanks for the reminder.

[–]BrotherBloodAngel 1 point2 points  (10 children)

I appreciate this quite a bit not just from a perspective standpoint but also career, as I'm still aspiring to become a firefighter. It was a childhood dream and is a better shot than most of the opportunities in my area short of completely restructuring my life and going to college for x amount of years. I'm not very good with tight spaces and vents in particular used to terrify me but I have no doubt I have the resolve to face it and "embrace the suck". I'm 6'1 and 233lbs, if I got down to 12% bf I'd probably sit about 205 so it'd be manageable. But I have hard work ahead.

Good motto to live by OP. Fear of discomfort and complacency won't get anyone anywhere in life.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children)

I didn't go to college, and I'm so happy I didn't. I may even discourage my children from going to college if things don't change.

I'm way ahead of everyone else my age and I don't have that student debt looming over me. College is a scam.

[–]1003rp 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Dude don't discourage your children from college if that is what they need to do to get the career they want. Many solid careers require college, just don't let them go for a bullshit women's studies degree. If they want to be an engineer or in medicine or something, college will be completely necessary for them.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Obviously I wouldn't discourage that.

I would discourage doing what I did - going to college before you have any idea what you want to get out of it.

Otherwise you'll waste a couple thousand dollars figuring out that a business degree won't matter much to you.

[–]1003rp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ohhh okay so you went to college then choose an unrelated career. I think it's important to drill into kids heads not to go to college until they have exactly what they want to do planned out. An undecided major as a freshman is unacceptable!

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I went in thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to be - but I didn't know a damn thing about anything.

Thankfully I had some life experiences that expanded my vision.

Dropping out - greatest decision ever.

[–]Olipyr 0 points1 point  (3 children)

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[–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I think that's more what I was saying.

I am planning on returning to school once my business needs less of my daily input. But roping in kids as they come out of high school is scammy. I know so many people with piles of debt who didn't understand what they were signing up for, and who are unhappy with the way things panned out.

[–]superfuct 1 points1 points [recovered]

What kind of business do you run? Related to firefighting?

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sort of. More medical.

We do training courses, medical equipment sales and service, disaster planning and medical staffing.

We're hoping to get into private ambulance and someday want to buy a helicopter for air medical evac :) DREAM BIG.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]holzy444 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Great post. This is a big part of stoic philosophy. If you would like to explore this idea more I would recommend reading Marcus Aurelius, and Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle is the Way.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'll take you up on that. I've always wanted to learn more about Marcus Aurelius. He seems to have authored many quotes that have rang true to me.

[–]holzy444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meditations has some great pieces.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you actually read Marcus Aurelius's book? It's half in fucking Greek. I see people recommending it all the time but no one bloody mentions it's going to be the hardest read of your life as you have to either rely on context or have a separate copy of the appendix to make it through most of the pages. Due to how many words have no English translation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

The fun begins when you start to enjoy the pain, because you know that after this you will become more. Also, hormesis.

[–]kfpswf 1 point2 points  (3 children)

As an agnostic and from a Muslim background, I've often wondered if "embracing the suck" is what Muhammad meant when said that the biggest jihad(struggle) is the one you fight in everyday life...

[–]TheDynamicHamza21 0 points1 point  (2 children)

[–]kfpswf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the link, but where does it say anything about Muhammad? I skimmed through it and I see Ghazali mentioned, but no Muhammad.

Anyway, that was just my pondering. I guess we'll be digressing if we continue this talk.

[–]TheDynamicHamza21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I forget it's difficult for some people to put two and two together. The hadith you mentioned refers to controlling one nafs (Self) , the link I gave describes the nafs and it's nature.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a similar attitude switch that I found incredibly helpful. I think it was an Eric Thomas video - "I don't GOT to go to work, I GET to."

You don't have to go to the gym, you get to go to the gym, it's a privilege. I don't have to work on building a new skillset to get a new job while I'm already working hard in my current job, I get to. It's amazing that we have this environment where you can find avenues for improvement in any area.

Feel sorry for the people who have no shit they have to go through, don't feel sorry for yourself and how much shit you have to go through.

[–]farkwadian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I unsubbed a few weeks ago because of the influx of posts that were just angry at women.

I just resubbed to say this is what trp is about. This is the sort of stoic attitude that men need in order to improve their lot in life.

Great job man, embrace that suck.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. First post here. Valentine's day has sucked the the past 3 years for me. Family went broke, lost a girl I was with for 5 years, developed an ulcer that kept me out of the gym for a year, lost my best friend to a lung disease, and through all this, my good friend and homie was always by my side...well now he is in a serious relationship and I hardly ever see him. I actually was just out to dinner with two couples. 5th wheeling.

I'm always in the gym. My career is going great. I'm picking up new hobbies. I live in a single apartment in an awesome city. It's been hard for me to grasp the concept that family can fall apart, girls you love can swap you out like nothing, people you love can die, and homies will trade you for their GF in a matter of months.

It's been a tough adjustment for me. I've battled substance abuse. Got into trouble. Let my mind get the best of me...

One thing, however, that I will never let myself do, is give up. I will do my best to get better every day. And if my friends are all out with their GFs and I'm alone 11:45pm on NYE, well, fuck it. I've failed enough times and went through enough shit to realize that it's hard to beat someone who never gives up.

[–]1runnerrun2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Enduring short-term discomfort to achieve longterm goals is an essential skill/insight to have, whichever way you want to phrase it.

[–]Cyberdellic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like what you wrote at the end...

there is a fine line between pleasure and pain imo

tough times make us tougher, embrace the struggle, the stuggle makes me the man I am

Be strong

[–]HS-Thompson 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can even avoid the suck opting instead to sit on the couch, avoid the gym, not approach that girl, work that low end job with no future and stay Blue Pill.

I think it's worth quietly noting that doing this also sucks.

Which is a good realization, to become truly aware that all paths eventually lead to suck. At least from time to time.

Perhaps just another way of restating a noble truth -- that life is suffering.

[–]trpfieldreport[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Life is suffering.

Reminds me of the oft repeated war adage: You have to accept that you're already dead.

Only then can you be free.

[–]T8ernutz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it. Me and a good buddy of mine encourage each other through a similar phrase, "don't be a baby back bitch".

Whenever one of us complains or whines about whatever, (I.e. You're reaching failure on your last set of preacher curls). "Com'on, don't be a baby back bitch"

It's comical while slapping you in the face, helping you realign and focus on what needs to be done.

We grow through stress and putting ourselves into uncomfortable situations. "Train insane or remain the same"

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]trpfieldreport[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I've always wanted to do a stint on a cruise ship.

What did you do? Enjoy it? As much work/fun/sex as I've been led to believe?

Just seems like an interesting work experience.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Young, single - but have a good career and a business here.

But I would love to get on a cruise ship. Especially as a paramedic - the ships that have paramedics make them officers, which I hear is fucking awesome.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I've heard going medical is lovely.

I really ought to try to get into Med School at this point. Shit.

[–]Neo-ReactionaryHarry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a nice story. I've noticed with my friends it's "Get Fucked". It's a term of endearment as well as good luck on whatever you're doing. What? You have to work 60 hours next week? Get fucked.

[–]TheGoldenCaulk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Embrace the Suck" was more or less the exact same thing I told myself when I started working out. The first time I went to the gym, I felt like I was going to pass out or something. I was not in good shape, and it made things incredibly unpleasant.

Months later, I can't see myself not going to the gym. I now take pleasure in the suck, because I know how that suck will positively affect my life.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]trpfieldreport[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without a doubt.

I never understood the 90% mental, 10% physical thing.

But reflecting on how I've started to enjoy the struggle and embrace the suck - that's the mental part making the physical seem much less daunting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


"Without a struggle, there can be no progress." -F Douglass

[–]Daredevlinx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post man! It's all about how you think of things!

[–]Unbreakable_576 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend you read the book "Mastery" by George Leonard. It goes into depth on this subject.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everyhting

That was said by Sensei Tsunetomo Yamamoto a loooong time ago, and now by you and your friends. Thanks for sharing.

[–]asianmasaccount[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree 100%.

Came to this conclusion by a very different way though. Nietzsche's writing on aesthetics basically says what you just said. Read it as a 17 year old in high school. Life changing stuff.

I still actually think a lot of RP is essentially Nietzsche's genealogy or morality and beyond good and evil interpreted towards men, haha. Read the definition of "übermensch" and "last man" and they sound awfully familiar.

[–]FedoraTipper15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm I'm 5'7 so I'd do pretty well in that maze

[–]neverXmiss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very well done post OP. Things in life that have any weight in value are not easy, they are hard and take time. Things with no value/negative things are almost always easy.

Good = hard, Bad = easy

Embrace, Endure the suck ---> Enjoy the Benefits.

[–]garlicextract[🍰] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Being a 6’3, 210lb guy I was at a strong disadvantage for this course. Smaller people would be able to do most of the maze on their hands and knees.

Poor OP, he's 6'3 210lbs.... really bro come on

With that out of the way I must say, very good post