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Field ReportOn the cold approach and day game (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Kill_Your_Ego

Cold approach is a necessary skill to have if you are going to be spinning plates. So here's how I do my cold approach. I've always done day game so this applies to day game.

You have to start with your body language. Men notice a girls waist first then it's up to the chest. Women notice your body language. To achieve good body language first off don't be fat. That shit will bring you down. Girls will notice if you are proud of your body. Stand up tall, shoulders back, head up, making eye contact with everyone. Walk with your abs tight and deep breaths. The pace of your breathing controls the pace of your mind. Stable breathing = stable mind.

Commanding presence is an amazing thing that everyone should learn. Here's a video:

Commanding presence

This is how you treat everyone. Also there are classes you can take to learn this.

As you walk around make eye contact with everyone. If anyone holds your eye contact move to a statement about them. This elicits the best response. Scan them with your eyes, as you do to everyone to maintain your presence, and just say something. "Your purse would look better with a peace sign." "Your shoes are way too colorful." "You need to sew up that rip in your shirt."

These are just random examples that apply to most people. Don't focus just on what they are wearing, though. Sometimes use shit about where you are at. At university say "rough test. I'm sure you passed though" at the end of the semesters. At a salon"what are you going to do with your degree?" Girls think that hair styling school is the same as a BS.

The things you say should include assumptions or commands, ("You look like your brother." or "You should always wear a dress.") though. The level of thought to respond to these things is higher so when people respond they are immediately more invested into the conversation. When they don't respond you smile, continue to make eye contact, and be happy that you brightened someone's day. Give them a nod and on to the next person.

When I started I had a simple routine. This was a long time ago. I was at university and had no game. Nothing. One girl asked me out because I lifted and had a no fucks attitude and I was with her for two years in a horror of an LTR. She got fat. Ugh. I ended up seeing a red pill therapist for omega behavior and, by luck of the draw, this guy didn't talk to me about my feelings or ask me about how my mommy beat me with a stick. He asked me what I wanted in life. I told him girls. He said he was going to cease our "therapy" if I did not ask one girl out that week. At random. Period. Red pill as fuck and I miss that guy.

I did. I walked up to some girl and said, "those are colorful shoes." She said some shit back and I said, "come to lunch with me."

The end. She laughed in my face and said, "with you?" This girl was slightly chubby as well. I'd rate her a 4. I was devastated. I drove home all sad and got drunk that night. It was my first cold approach.

I met with my RP therapist. He told me how awesome it was that I did what I did and we talked for an hour about how this next week I was getting a date. I was going to do the exact same thing. Only this time to girl after girl after girl. Because honestly who gives a shit that the chubby dumpy girl laughed at you? She is at home right now texting every girl she knows and then dropping in that a guy, you, asked her to lunch. And she's fucking ecstatic. You just only see her laughing at you. Inside she is always excited. Every girl you cold approach is giddy as fuck on the inside no matter what she looks like outside.

So the next week I said something about some girls shoes and then said, "come get lunch with me." She looked down, all nervous, and said "uh no I'm busy." I probably said something like, "oh", and got all sad. But I was over it the next day. That day I did the same shit to another girl. She told me some crap about how she was raised in army camps and scowled at me. Ok. Have a nice day.

The next day I did this again. The cutest girl yet. Short, thin, punk blonde hair. "I'd love to get lunch with you." Met her at some vegan place. Was happy to see her order a salad. She told me about what a massive slut she was and shocked my blue ears. So be prepared for this because all girls are sluts, whether you like it or not. The goal is to make them your slut.

I was shocked and went full retard during lunch. You learn everything in steps though. Fail your way to success.

I went back to my RP therapist and the dude was high fiving me. It was awesome. Bam. Now I had a date a week with a hot girl. Just by saying, "come to lunch with me." over and over.

Ok back to tips. You're building your commanding presence. You are always aware of what is going on around you because you are standing tall and making eye contact with everyone. If you feel like it you take a look at their gear. Girl with bracelets? Say something about them. Big rings? She is begging you to say something about them. Why the fuck do you think she's wearing them?

Cold approach is a skill though. It's really the same as lifting. You have to devote time to it to get any good. You can't watch a video on how to properly deadlift over and over and then walk into a gym and deadlift 400 pounds. You have to train your body to lift. You have to train your ego to cold approach.

Here is how you maintain outcome independence when you are running day game and the cold approach.

Go somewhere where there are a good amount of girls. Maybe this is between class, maybe this is when you go shopping, maybe when you are buying coffee, or whatever. Then start making eye contact with everyone. Just do this all the time. Not just girls. Not just girls with hot bodies. In fact don't look at their bodies at first. Look everyone in the eyes.

Smile and nod. Open everyone. Everyone. Guys, girls, any age, any person, you can talk to everyone. It gets to be pretty fun actually. Once I started deliberately running day game I opened everyone. So approaching just becomes a fun thing to do to find out shit about people. Then if you do this to a girl, you evaluate her person, notice she's got a fuckable body, and bam, "come get lunch with me."

Hell you can say this to girls who are literally sitting and eating lunch in front of you. "come get lunch with me." And it will work at exactly the same rate as anywhere. She'll still go out with you.

Also you come to realize that you get exactly the same acceptance rate with the hottest girls as you do with the ugliest you bother to ask. Chubby ugly girls will say no. Sometimes they'll say yes. Hot thin girls will say no. Sometimes they'll say yes. The reasons they say no or yes are not going to be apparent and they honestly do not matter. Always remember how fucking excited this girl truly is, while you make eye contact, and see in her eyes that no matter what nonsense she says inside she's excited. Then nod and move on.

Cold approach is far superior to online dating as well. Online I was able to get girls between 25 and 39 who were 4-8's. In person I can get girls between 19 - 25 who are 5-9's. And in person girls have less entitlement. They really don't have 10 guys a day cold approaching them. More like one guy a month. It's much easier to stand out. They are thinking about the dude who cold approached them a hundred times more then anyone from the deluge of online dating.

And do remember that at the end of the day hot girls who get cold approached by fat douchy guys still go home and tell everyone about it, super excited. They love that you approached them. Even though they will hide it behind some bitchiness.

Doing cold approaches where you open everyone you can make friends, business contacts, wise people will give you advice, and you will just have a great time talking to all kinds of people. And you'll just start to do this all the time. And then you always end up the center of any party or gathering because you've got the presence and you are cold approaching every fucking person. So they all know you.

And after you get through rejection fifty you just don't fucking care anymore. You've had fatties reject you, hotties reject you, mousy girls, punk girls, but at the same time all kinds of random girls say yes. With a few hours a week you can get fifty dates a year. With fifty dates in a year you can easily pull in some FWB things. Get some plates spinning.

Go forth and spin some plates. Then be prepared to be sad because all girls really are sluts and they are mostly the same. AWALT is true.


[–]LeGrandDiableBlanc 96 points97 points  (10 children)

I am starting to think that in the age of Tinder, OK Cupid, and even the likes of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, that men are cold approaching less and less. A really forward guy these days will text you or Facebook message you to ask you out.

One of the consequences of this may well be that even hot women are less inundated with being cold approached durring the day (in contrast, the club and bar scene still seems like a meat market.) That could make them less suspicious of a day approach, and also mean they have less mastery over the social experience (meaning the natural social advantages a girl has in any interaction might not be as pronounced).

TL;DR: Day approaching is becoming advantageous because it is no longer as common.

[–][deleted] 41 points41 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

As a PUA i disagree. I cant tell you how many beta's are out there, going out daily and doing cold approaches, one after another, doing stupid shit and fucking up completely the game for everyone. I know it, because i've been there. I live in a city with population of 1-1.5m and 90% of the approachable women have already been approached atleast once. Cold approach is not new anymore, its been out for 10+ years! Obviously this is no excuse, not to do it, but the mindset of "approach her, because no one approached her on the street before" and expecting to be your advantage is just wrong, it doesnt make you alpha. Its ridiculous how many time girls have told me that they've just been approached or few days ago.

[–]rpscrote 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Standing out isn't binary. A guy who cold approaches is immediately above those who do not, which filters out a lot of people. To close, you have to have other SMV items which put you further and further above the others. Oftentimes it takes many small things and a few big things to get there. Cold approach is a good arrow in the quiver.

[–]Gallows9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anyone that labels them as a 'PUA' reeks of bullshit. Perpetuating information based on an incredibly small sample size (as you said, in a city of MILLIONS) and tinged by your own personal bias just isn't productive.

The fact of the matter is that by cold approaching you are creating opportunity for the price of a few seconds time. Does it make you the alphacock pussyslaying god of the universe? No, but it is probably the best way that we have of boosting confidence and skill with the side benefit of sometimes getting laid from it.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 6 points7 points  (1 child)

A beta pussy cold approaching just reveals himself to be a beta pussy with ju-u-u-ust enough testosterone to approach, but obviously not enough to get a quality girl, because he is so bad at it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How would a beta get better if he didn't approach?

[–]BrunoOh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you do it, you stand out more. Always be standin' out.

[–]spectrum_92 28 points29 points  (7 children)

At my grandmother's funeral (this has a point, bear with me), i distinctly remember how in the eulogy, the speaker told the story of how my grandfather met her. He was walking down the street one day when he saw this mind-blowingly attractive woman go by. He simply turned around, followed her for a while, approached her, asked her out to lunch and within a few months they were married.

I remember thinking at the time that it sounded fucking creepy, but put it down to being some old world pre-WW2 shit that made sense in a bygone age. But since swallowing TRP, it's dawned on me that that most basic act of approaching a woman on the street is the most tried and true way of gaining their attention and developing some sort of relationship.

This is a great post, cold approaches are sadly underestimated in today's world of internet dating and social media, and if mastered, open a world of opportunity for romantic relationships, be they one night stands or LTRs.

[–]omnicidial 13 points14 points  (5 children)

In sales the cold call is the most avoided, intimidation filled thing that most salespeople want nothing to do with them.

The reality is that cold calling is very easy, but it seems hard because you expect it to fail, approach it wrong as hell, and it does fail like you thought it would.

Trick to training new people in sales for me was to mentally turn the cold call situation into something else they felt more comfortable with then when it worked point out that it was actually a successful cold call / cold approach.

Acting like you are comfortable as hell and assuming the sale are very hard if you aren't really comfortable. If you're nervous you make them mirror.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (4 children)

if I could go back in time I would intern in sales. The skillsets there are just so damn applicable everywhere in life...

[–]omnicidial 2 points3 points  (3 children)

It's so weird what you learn after doing phone sales specifically about tone of voice and speed saying certain things.. Working in sales made getting laid a billion times easier.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I hope some enterprising young lads without an idea for their career see this and realize that sales = good money, timeless skill set and as long as you can learn to enjoy the work you will enjoy success and opportunity

[–]MoribundEnigma 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Enterprising young lad here. Thanks!

[–]JayViceroy 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Firstly, I have to commend you. You are being 100% honest and true. I can tell that this write up is done from a point of complete honesty and experience as everything mentioned here agrees with my life cold approaching day and night. Great write up. Fellas, if you've already built up your SMV and are trying to figure out how to start getting dates, listen to this man. He knows that he is talking about. Save this post and read it every week until you have the skills down. This may take a month or 6, but hammer into your brain and get out there. Enjoy your fucking life. Only you can allow yourself to be successful, nobody is going to do it for you.

[–]1independentmale 5 points6 points  (2 children)

It shouldn't take a month, or even a day. This can start happening in five minutes. Just go out and start taking to people.

You're going to get rejected, far more often than not. Make a game out of it. It's a numbers thing, if you're decent looking maybe 1 in 10 women will say yes. If you're an ugly slob, maybe only 1 in 100 will. Doesn't matter, plow through those rejections until you get to the one who is into you. Each rejection is a stepping stone on the path to success.

You have to fail repeatedly before you succeed. So get out there and start failing. You'll learn from your mistakes each time and eventually you'll be so smooth, so natural, cold approaches will just happen automatically without much thought and you'll be unstoppable.

[–]JayViceroy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The point I'm making is read it everyday. It'll take time to get comfortable, but with repetition it becomes second nature.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

"Your purse would look better with a peace sign."

Great post but I could never say this with a straight face.

[–]mcgruntman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So say it to a hippie, with a smirk on your face. Pretty decent teasing opening line, a la "Could you be any more hippie?"

[–]JustApproach 43 points43 points [recovered]

Rejection is better than Regret and having an Abundance Mentality will help you survive your cold approaching journet.

Eat Rejection for Breakfast and Success for Dinner.

Overall you have an excellent field report. I wish you lived in los angeles so that we can exchange tips and experiences. I could also introduce you to some of my friends who have learned a thing or two about cold approaching.

I currently have cold approaches over 1,000 girls in less than a year and have learned a lot along the way. It's allowed me to start video recording my approaches at the beach and campus as a method to show more people that you don't have to be a pick up artist or rich to get girls. Just go out there and just approach.

Here is one of my first field report videos.

Just Approach Anxiety Infield: http://youtu.be/lJYel7UoJ1c

I have tons of other footage but I haven't finished editing them because I need to blur faces and mute their names for privacy and legal reasons since it's a hidden camera.

Hey do you ever record your approaches as well or write blogs and stuff as it seems like you got this stuff down as well?

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 4 points5 points  (18 children)

I thought about doing some recordings awhile ago but mostly because I wanted to show people just how many people I talk to (a lot) and how many girls say no before a hot one just happens to say yes. I think it would be boring though and I've ceased spinning plates to go monk right now trying to better hunt a unicorn. I'm not sure how you do decent videos anyway. I tried keeping my phone in my pocket on video just to get audio but you couldn't hear anything.

Good video. I have actually never done night game. I end up picking up girls from the mall and from coffee shops. When I was younger it was random girls on campus.

[–]JustApproach 10 points10 points [recovered]

I am still young and goto college. I usually get a bunch of footage from girls I approach at school. I also goto other campuses to record and aswell as the beach because there are a lot of foreigners.

I like recording my approaches and then posting them for fellow men to see because I like showing that you don't need all that bullshit pick up artist techniques to get girls.

In a lot of my videos I straight up goto a girl say hi, and ask her is she is single and if she says yes I will ask her to take down my number and we continue on from there. I got tired of asking girls for their numbers and then waiting for the right time to text them and then hoping they return communication to me.

By giving them my number I they have the opportunity to show me they are interested by contacting me first. This helps stop the issue of a girl giving you a fake number or a girl who is not interested giving you her number to waste time.

Also by asking them if they are single within the 1st minute I meet them this helps me set up the frame/interaction that I am not trying to be their friend I am trying to fuck them.

I have had girls tell me that they want to be my friend first and I just tell them no I am not interested and then walk away because I don't play that friendzone bullshit.

I actually have a lot of good footage because my Samsung Galaxy 5 records in HD. I have several spare batteries on me most of the time and I have a huge memory card allowing me to record the whole day with ease. I also position my phone to where anybody can see it but not to the point where they will think I am recording this me being able to get real authentic reactions from girls when I approach them.

I have tons of videos from night game as well I just need to edit them. I live really close to Hollywood so finding girls to film approaching is not hard and you get a lot of sluts who are DTF or will give you decent reactions.

The only videos I can post are the ones I record on public property due to California Hidden Camera Laws so when I post more videos in the future most of them will be outside rather then inside places.

[–]CruzeControl1 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Dude how has your success been after approaching 1000 women? that's insane! Mad props.. out of all those how many were you able to bang?

[–]JustApproach 11 points11 points [recovered]

I am typing this own my phone so please excuse the grammar errors. And if any of you are in LA and want to see proof of my over 1,000 approaches or want to approach at the beach or campus together let me know so we can try to set something up.

Imagine being able to cold approach any random cute girl without alcohol or drugs involved and kiss her in less than 1 minute and if she is DTF fuck her that same day. All this while not wasting time texting her bsck and forth and not spending money on her. This is basically what I do in a regular basis.

I was successful in beating approach anxiety completely. But I haven't been successful banging a lot of them. I have banged less than 10% because when I first started off I didn't know how to escalate and screen effectively.

When I first started off for about 600 of the cold approaches it was basically randomly ask the girls for selfies and I would try what I can after that. Then it hit me that I can kiss these girls and try to get them horny right there on the spot. If I am successful I need to find a place to fuck them fast before thry start thinking logically again.

Many people will hate on me because all they care about the end result of getting laid. But I tell them the truth of how hard it is to get laid off cold approach becsuse there are so many factors involved.

These factors include location, type of girl you are talking to, her age, time if day, how close are you to the nearest place to fuck, if she has got comfortable with you yet, if she knows you're a player or genuinely like and care about her.

A lot of girls turn on their anti-slut defense because they don't want to feel like a slut by banging a random guy in the daytime 5 minutes after they meet him.

I only strive for getting laid within 1 to 2 weeks of meeting a girl. When I talk to a girl through phone such as text I only contact her to schedule a meet up. I have a strict rule on scheduling girls to meet up within 10 text messsges and within the firsr 7 days of meeting them or else there is like an 80% chance I will be wasting my time and they will flake.

I don't invest much time to make these girls feel special because I can easily find more girls who are DTF then waste my time trying to convince a girl for weeks/months to have sex.

I haven't had a girlfriend in over 2 years and I love being able to approach any chick and run game on her and get sexual with her. I don't want to be like the other guys who settle for a relationship because they are lonely and end up being unhaply withh a girl who is either ugly, fat, crazy, a slut, a gold digger.

Happiness is my #1 priority and I will not settle for less.

I have developed cold approaching skills that at least 90% of the population has not and are to scared to do.

If any of you have more questions just message me on here or on the forum bon my website which is the same as my username. Thanks for reading.

[–]CruzeControl1 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Holy shit man, mad props for having the nuts to do this. Most guys would not be able to put in the work like you have. Can you elaborate a little about how you fuck girls 5 mins after meeting them? How many have you been able to bang like that? Also how old are u u and what do you look like? I'm based in portlabd but my sister lives in la, i would love to come game with you next time I'm down there. I'm 24 btw

[–]JustApproach 2 points2 points [recovered]

Check the my post above you for more details on my same day lays. I don't fuck girls 5 minutes after meeting them because that is too short an amount of time and their anti-slut shield will be on.

I have to warm them up and make out with them first which I usually do within the first 5 minutes of meeting them.

I am in my mid 20's as well bro. It must be hard for you cold approaching in portland, oregon with not hot spots filled with cute girls comparable to Hollywood or LA beaches. Is it safe to assume you cold approach on campus then?

[–]CruzeControl1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Portland obvi isn't gonna have near the quantity and quality of pussy as la but in the summer there are def babes walking around downtown. You honestly just gave me motivation to start doing this man, thanks. Btw what's your go to opener for a girl. Just ealing uo saying hi and that I think she's cute?

[–]RedArgonaut 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I've heard multiple times on TRP that day-game is not worth the effort. That the success rate is too low. But I have no way of knowing if they just didn't put enough work in to get good, or that's really the case.

Out of the most recent 100 day approaches, how many of them did you fuck? If day cold approaching wasn't fun, would you still do it to get laid?

[–]JustApproach 8 points8 points [recovered]

Day game is not worth the effort for those who are weak and lack self confidence. To do Daygame effectively you must embrace Rejection. You must also already be happy internally and not insecure with yourself as I have seen many of my students give up because they cannot handle how emotionally hard getting rejected can be and take it personally.

If you aren't getting rejected alot then you are not approaching alot. Eat Rejection for Breakfast and Success for Dinner.

Yes it is true there is a low success rate for getting laid through cold approach and I will not lie to people and tell them it is easy to get laid.

To get laid through cold approach takes good strategy and hard work. It takes time as you cannot learn these skills overnight or in less than a month. It takes time and patients, and alot of cold approaches to gain experience that will push you to your limits.

I sent you a private youtube video through private message so that you could see how I can easily approach a girl even when with a group of friends and still ask if she is single and get her number.

Also in regards to your questions about the most recent 100 day approaches lay rate.

I have got a bunch of make outs and several blowjobs and 1 same day lay from my last 100 approaches. This shit is tough and drains you energy but it has never drained my confidence and I still have a lot of fun doing it because I know I am good at what I do and other guys aren't on my level yet.

My last same day lay was after I was on campus and went to one of the campus buildings to take a dump. After using the restroom I was walking down the hallway and saw some girl walking slowly so I decided to give her a hi 5. Then as I did that I asked her what's her name and told her she's cute and if she was single and ready to mingle. She said she was single but not looking for anything and she tried to friend zone me right there on the spot. I told her I'm not looking for new friends and she then still offered me her number saying that we can still talk tho. After seeing that I quickly changed the subject to where she was going right now and that we should goto the beach. She declined as expected due to Last Minute Resistance her reason being she needed to go across town to pick up a relative before traffic in LA started. So I said it was nice meeting her. I asked her for a hug by and while hugging her I held on for longer than usual and asked for a kiss by. She gave me a kiss and then from that moment on I knew she was DTF I just have to figure out how to get her into adventure mode and a nice private place to fuck. So I had some useless chatting while making out back and forth with me lifting her up because she was petite and then I offered to escort her to her car. Fortunately for me while walking to her car she was parked in the same area as me. So I stopped her and made out some more and asked her if she could stay a bit longer to chill but she gave me a lot of last minute resistance due to not wanting to be late cause of LA traffic. I persisted and she finally gave in and was shocked my car was nearby so we made out in the back seat of my car. She gave me some good head deep throating me and stuff and then I proceeded to fuck her in my car. Quick Player Tip have a fresh pack of condoms in a heat protected lunch bag underneath your drivers side seat for protection when you finally find DTF chicks to fuck. It's moments like that which allow me to have fun and continue cold approaching in the day because I know it's possible if you have the right skills and know how to apply them when the time is right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]fake7272 0 points1 point  (1 child)

mind sending me the video as well? I can approach single strangers but groups im a bitch with

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Day game is fun and you learn skills that you can apply to all kinds of other situations. For me the quality of women I plate from day game is far higher then online. I have honestly never done night game in my life though so I can not compare to that. It does take more effort but I like doing it, it has made me a far more social and likeable person, my social skills have improved massively, and I've gotten my youngest fuck in my life, a hot nineteen year old, in my mid thirties. I'm still friends with her as well. She gave me her bed when she moved. The youngest girl I got to agree to a date with me online was 25.

[–]CallMeMak 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Mind posting a link to those videos?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

"So be prepared for this because all girls are sluts, whether you like it or not. The goal is to make them your slut."

Whoaaa you nailed it

[–]T_H_E_T_R_U_T_H 6 points7 points  (4 children)

For curiosity's sake

I'm currently working on losing weight. I work out four times a week and I like how I look now. I know I can look better but it's going to take another few months. Should I put aside my physical needs and focus on getting in better shape, or keep doing what I'm doing and approach these women ven though I don't have a six pack?

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Monk mode is really only for absolute fuck ups. If you're a complete omega who's spent the past five years playing WoW and have literally no stories that don't involve fictional swords and you make an idiot of yourself like that then go into monk mode, read, exercise, and do what you've gotta do. If you're just low SMV and want to practice then don't worry about it and do shit.

I just swallowed the pill. Rather than being too fat, I'm too skinny. It doesn't work well. I look good in clothes but disappointing naked. While I bulk up, I'm still talking to women and practicing game. I can actually be much more outcome independent because I know this is just the crap that won't count since it's in my getting there stage. Although, if there's a finite number of girls where you are (such as if you're in high school) then I might consider holding off before ruining the resources. Then again, I still might not. Somehow I'd bet Briffault's Law works both ways.

[–]wimmyjales 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think I might be able to relate to you. I'm sort of an overweight guy, definitely by my standards but if you asked someone in a crowded room to point out the fat guys I probably wouldn't be pointed to. Still, I think I have an idea about your mindset. I've been doing the cold approach thing for a couple years now and while my weight has fluctuated quite a bit, I've been at least a little chubby the whole time. Has it held me back at times from getting good responses? Absolutely. My success rate for getting at least a positive reaction is definitely less than 10%, which sounds abysmal but when you're dealing with large numbers that's plenty to work with. The point is, if the number of women you approach is zero your success rate is zero.

Also, you have to remember this about all of these people you see pass by you every day out in the world: You are never going to see them again for the rest of your life. Our brains are hardwired to not act out in groups because when we were evolving if you were around someone, they knew you. They all knew you by name and you were judged. Your life depended on the groups opinion of you. Even though we live in a different world now, this is a deep seated instinct and is very hard to overcome. The analogy of working out muscle to learning how to stuff that feeling of dread is so accurate. It will be hard at first, and will atrophy quickly. There is no confident thought that can conquer your fear for good, this must be worked at specifically and consistently.

If you keep lifting, and dieting, and looking yourself in the mirror waiting until you think your ready, that day will never come. You will go out and still have almost as hard of a time as if you just started out now. The entire culture built around picking up women makes it seem rather difficult to get laid. It's really not. There are so many smoking hot sluts out here it's insane. It's not easy, but it's also not complicated. Go out and approach ASAP.

[–]marty2k 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, not at all. Cold approach is a skill, and besides learning from successes, getting laid from it doesn't necessarily make you better at it at the beginning. You need to develop a thick skin, conversational skills, authority, and confidence. None of this is dependent on if said girl will fuck you or not. Definitely put focus on losing weight and getting in shape, but also approach.

In the end, it's a positive feedback loop. As you get in shape, more women will be open to you approaching them. This will not only motivate you to cold approach more, but to lift more. And as you get more and more fit, it will just get easier and easier and you'll constantly be getting confidence from it. Of course we want to head to a place where we don't derive confidence from others (especially women) but it's a start.

[–]magus678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its mostly about how your frame of mind regarding this situation is. You seem to be asking from a place of "what is the best strategy," which is fine. Any sane person would, really.

I would instead encourage a reevaluation of your resources. Your question poses the assumption that you have some amount of "attribute points" or what have you that are limited, and you must spend them wisely. The only absolutely iron clad limit to you is time. We all bear that yoke.

If you are in the right headspace, the only thing it costs you for approaching girls, six pack or no, is time. Considering how much of that we waste on random shit, I would say the question itself, "should you start approaching," is moot.

Its about what makes you happy in the long run. Its really just a question of what you think is a better use of your time.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nice post. I lived this when I was younger. Over time, I worked up to landing many types of girls, for example hot Asian girls eight years younger than me. I met my wife with day game and have four children now.

[–]Soriq 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Awesome post and great advice. Was your RP therapist an actual therapist you saw or someone you knew?

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Real therapist. And it was court ordered so if he cancelled our therapy I was looking at 3 months in jail. That really made me motivated to get past any anxiety. Guy was amazing. He died around ten years ago but he was the kind of therapist that men need. I knew him for less then two years.

[–]DarthRoach 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I'm not familiar with the American justice system. Could someone explain for what a therapist would be ordered by court?

[–]confuseacatlmtd 5 points5 points [recovered]

I love your username. Dude, I have taken up meditation lately, and one of the things it does (that I didn't know) is shrink the ego. I actually reached a state where I gave too little of a shit and it was affecting my life negatively.

I've found a balance now, since I've realized what is actually important to me vs. what thought I wanted to do but was only based on what I thought would make people like me.

Anyways, I cold approached tonight. I have only done this two or three times before, but this time, I felt very little fear. And the girl could sense it.

My skills kind of suck, and I was getting all kinds of good signals but still messed it up. Oh well!

If it's this easy now, anything is possible :) Great post and keep it up!

[–]1beerthroway 5 points6 points  (3 children)

+1 on meditation. I know the mantra here is lift, and lifting does great things for the mind (I lift 4-5x/wk, so nobody complain that I'm hating on lifting) but meditation is like lifting for the mind. It makes you so strong. And just like there are side benefits of lifting that you don't realize unless you lift, meditation has cool little side benefits also.

We should encourage it as much as lifting. Especially because it so efficient (little input for a large reward).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What are some good meditation exercises?

[–]1beerthroway 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Depends on what you want and what suits your "style".

I usually just focus on clearing my mind and focusing on my breath. This usually helps me control my thoughts from racing too much.

Other times I stop paying attention to anything in my mind and pretend I can only act on instinct. As in, try to perceive everything around me at the same time. This works best when I'm outside in a very low simulation environment. In the country.

Or if I'm after a specific goal that day/week/month, I'll find a mantra/phrase that is concise and positive and focus on experiencing that. For example, let's say I'm working on maintaining eye contact. I'll clear my mind and think about "eye contact" only. Then I'll imagine a scenario where eye contact is necessary and put myself in that position and act it out. Try it, I'm certain if you do it correctly, you'll experience the same feelings as real life. For me and many others, that's usually anxiety and fear. Think about these feelings. Examine them as if they are tangible. Test them as if they are tangible. Then crush them as if they are tangible and continue the exercise of maintaining imaginary eye contact. Note: this is far more subtle than what I'm describing. You shouldn't rush these things. There have been times I've gone from the start to "crushing"(or "rewriting" the emotion I experience for a favorable emotion, example: excitement in place of fear)in a few minutes. Other times I've stopped and explored the situation and cleared my mind in favor of stoic neutrality. It just depends partially on what my mind is capable of in that moment.

A big key with meditation is to not force it. Like lifting, if you force too much beyond your skill level, you risk injury. Rather with meditation, you'll just burn out because you fail to improve. Don't push it. The goal of meditation is that there really is no goal and that's the goal. It's training outcome independence and at the same time it trains the outcome you desire to come to fruition. Expect nothing from it and you can expect anything.

I know I sound goofy and new agey, but you can look at /r/meditation yourself and visit their sidebar. They have a few primers on different meditation forms. I'm still largely a beginner myself(~4 months of almost daily meditation, usually only 5-10 min), but the gains are fantastic so I know I'll continue.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meditation and being present are skills everyone should exercise. +1

[–]king_of_red_alphas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this one. We need more constructive and informational FR's like this. Most of them come across as a 15 year old's fantasy of alpha-ness or humblebragging.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I did my first cold approaches a couple of years ago--neither of them worked out (one girl was at a gym and she was a probably an 8/10 with a 10/10 body but her dad was a crazy ex-Raiders linebacker, and the other was some random friend of a friend of a friend I asked out at a football game). One completely dropped off the map before we even went out, the other one went on two "dates" (I hesitate to call them that because I was an idiot and it was coffee twice) but the point being that 1) I felt way better about myself and my chances by actually doing it and 2) I finally understood the difference in feeling between regret and rejection, and I'd rather be rejected. The past is in the past but who knows what might have happened had I learned this earlier in my life.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I ask for lunch immediately. Instant date not a phone number. It often turns into a phone number. For the actual first date I like doing something free and physically active. Geocaching is my go to, or taking my awesome fully trained dog to dog park. Hell I take him geocaching as well. Girls like watching the command you have over your faithful dog. Plus it's free. And the girl associates the feelings of the activity with the person you are with so I don't recommend coffee dates. Honestly I think movie dates are better. You can get physical in the dark and so long as the movie gives her emotions some of those will imprint on to you.

I've been stood up five or six times. You get used to it. Find other things to do so that you are having a good time with yourself. Ultimately you are hanging out with yourself far more then with anyone else. So make yourself a good person to hang out with.

Oh I remember the first girl I stood up. I got a cuter, younger girl to agree to a date and I forgot about the first one. Lol did she freak the fuck out. "How dare you! Nobody has ever stood me up before!" Then on to a list if insults mostly about how ugly I am and how lucky she is that I revealed my character or whatever to her. I just blocked her number. It's funny how bad girls take the rejections that guys have no choice but to go through.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fortunately I was stood up once, while in school. I go a girls number from class and it was set, there was no indicator I was going to get blown off until late the day of im sitting outside the theater and call about 20'mins before. No answer. Movie starts. I call again (dumb) but then go watch on my own. It sucked but I was watching iron man so.

I saw her in class the next week and totally ignored her (other than dagger stare when she walked in).

Lol I had another class with her the following semester too....

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Quality post. Cold approaching is probably the weakest part of my game and I don't feel confident enough to try day game yet tbh.

Question for OP: would you still open and ask out girls even if you flat out knew that they weren't attractive enough for you to get it up if you got them into bed? I'm not sure if this is unusual or not but I avoid 6s and below because I know from experience that if they fall below that mark then even if I was successful, I literally wouldn't be able to get aroused enough to fuck them. And that knowledge makes me less interested in talking to such girls, for obvious reasons. Stories of guys who admit to fucking fatties honestly baffle me just because I know that I physically could not do it.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I had a conversation with some guys a few weeks ago and now I'm using an objective 10 scale. That means if a girl has a bmi under 25, so she just isn't fat, then she is a 4 not a 6 or 7. Most modern American women are in the 1 - 3 range. It's a pretty pathetic dating scene we are looking at.

I have approached and dated the dregs when feeling very low and rebuilding my self esteem. No I can't get it up with them no matter how drunk I get. But I did discover that you can get these girls to buy you all kinds of free shit and basically use them like orbiters. Sometimes let them give you head. The problems arise when you soft next them and they freak out. Then you hard next them and they start to stalk you.

Still no reason to not sharpen your claws on a dumpy fat loser girl. Get her to buy you shit and just play games with her. Girls do shit like this to guys all the time. All the time. Just don't let anyone see you in public with the dregs. And don't let them know where you live. Lots of them have nice apartments and you can eat their food and drink their liquor.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even in light of your experience I see nothing of worth for myself in approaching anything below a 6:

  • I'd have no interest and would be bored

  • I'd have no attraction

  • I'm not bothered about getting free shit bought for me

  • I have no interest in acquiring stalkers

  • Going to the effort of not being seen in public and not letting her know where I live is WAY too much effort to put into a girl who isn't even attractive enough to give me a hard on

But thanks, you've helped me answer my own question.

[–]jhsf 1 points1 points [recovered]

It's a pretty pathetic dating scene we are looking at.

I agree to an extent. The pool to draw from is limited to those with low value. You are correct by saying most modern American women are fucking trash.

I have approached and dated the dregs when feeling very low and rebuilding my self esteem. No I can't get it up with them no matter how drunk I get. But I did discover that you can get these girls to buy you all kinds of free shit and basically use them like orbiters. Sometimes let them give you head. The problems arise when you soft next them and they freak out. Then you hard next them and they start to stalk you.

You can't get it up for a reason. The problem you're facing is that you are expecting the women you swing to boost your ego. Your confidence shouldn't be affected by the women you plate, your confidence needs to come from other sources (lifting, hobbies, etc.).

Don't use these low-value women as orbiters. Creating a harem of low-value women is detrimental to your overall game and status.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was beneficial to start doing this after having my self esteem destroyed when I discovered I had been a cuckold for literally my entire marriage. I haven't asked for a date from anyone below a 6 in a year now. For me, last year, starting again after 8 years of marriage, having girls that I couldn't care less about helped me take them all of the pedestal. Plus it let me test out all kinds of behavior and see the results.

[–]Endorsed ContributorLastRevision 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I feel like with HB inflation, when guys say HB6 here they mean HB4. HB6 is a whole point above literal average (HB5). HB6 should be pretty darn good, with realistically only 10% of girls being HB8 and above.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't follow that logic. Just because the scale goes from 1 to 10 does not necessarily mean that a 5 is average in the sense of a mean or median, although a 5 should merit the description of 'average' looks.

And the influence of the environment is huge. I'm currently at a very good uni, meaning the average girl in my vicinity is 18-22, affluent and above-average in terms of attractiveness relative to the rest of the population. As such I'd say that 6 - 7.5 is the most populous part of the scale in my environment. I'm not that guy who thinks a whale with facial deformities and leprosy is a solid 5.

[–]jhsf 1 points1 points [recovered]

Day game is the best game to run to seek potential plates.

Not OP, but I was referred here by /u/HeinousFu_kery after I replied to a post pertaining to cold approach in a thread yesterday.

I suppose taking a hit with females well below your own SMV is acceptable only if you are new to cold approaching or plating in general. From my own experience, if they are a bit towards the low end of average, I would not give them the light of day.

If you sleep with those below your own market value, you are DECREASING YOUR OWN VALUE in exchange.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Day game is the best game to run to seek potential plates

I'm not sure how true that is here in the UK. I'm not saying it's false, as I lack the experience to do so, but I doubt the premise.

The problem isn't really with going below my own SMV - I think even top 20% men will do so when plating or looking for ONS particularly (after all, if you only fuck unicorns then you're going to have a pretty empty sex life). The problem is that I just feel no attraction whatsoever to anything below a 6 and without the attraction I have no interest. In the context of plates, ONS and even LTRs what is the point if I have no attraction and no interest?

[–]brujon 3 points3 points [recovered]

That's so true. Even if you have a 1% success rate, if you approach enough women, you'll end up with a few plates and FWB's. The real trick here, is to never pass up on an opportunity. You can game Tinder/OKC and still work on your day game without too much of an effort. As long as you commit to it, you'll eventually have enough girls that you'll have to start dropping some. Then, you really start giving off an alpha vibe to girls all around. And it gets easier and easier and easier. If at first you were only able to pull 5 and 6's, before long, just the attitude change that comes naturally from having abundance will make you pull 7's and 8's. If you're working on your looks, then you'll even score some 9's.

You'll start to notice that 5's and 6's don't really cut it anymore, you'll naturally get that cocky IDGAF attitude, and since you end up knowing a lot of different people that way, you'll also become more interesting. Many men don't get that, but one side benefit of having a lot of plates is that you find yourself into extremely different social circles. You end up learning all sorts of different shit, and that in turn makes it easier to come up with conversational pieces for the next cold approach. And not just that. Those skills that you develop help you everywhere in life. You'll find it easier to mingle with coworkers in office parties, you'll know enough girls to be able to maybe find a hookup for your boss and get into his good graces, and generally be the all-around go-to guy for fun times. And that pays off, BIG TIME. Since you're always talking to strangers, you'll have no problem giving a presentation in front of an audience. How different is it really from entertaining a group of girls? That's not to even mention the potential for networking. Who's to say that among the various girls you fuck and their friends you meet, you won't find your next job opportunity?

Whenever a male BP friend of yours confront you with your being a man-whore or somesuch, tell him everything i said, how the skills you develop being a "player" help you in much more than just getting laid.

[–]trplurker 1 points1 points [recovered]

Whenever a male BP friend of yours confront you with your being a man-whore or somesuch, tell him everything i said, how the skills you develop being a "player" help you in much more than just getting laid.

I just laugh and tell him to stop being jelly, there is plenty to go around.

[–]prodigyx 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I had no idea that there were RP therapists. Up until know I have heard nothing but bad things about therapists. Good to know there are some out there that can actually help.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

He was more like the father I was supposed to have but was denied because feminism thinks that married women having the right to be promiscuous low value sluts is more important then us having fathers.

It's too bad we don't have red pill psychology courses at universities. Us men raised by narcissistic low value women need them.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This an excellent post. Everything you said is true. If you get good at cold approach you're set for life. You don't even need a social circle.

Amen about online dating. Charming guys do way better in person

[–]Cookiest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly the post I needed to read at this point in life. Thank you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If say let's go get ice cream. Bitches love ice cream.

[–]SpinPlates 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best advice to anyone wanting to learn how to talk to people is to try out serving/bartending.

I've been bartending for almost 4 years and I cannot aptly describe how much it helped me with my communication skills. My job is talking to strangers. Getting to know them and remembering names, faces and job titles. It's like having a god damn super power when you go out to a club or party.

[–]Diece 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure the obsession reddit seduction/trp have with approaching. It'su such a simple thing yet people over complicate the shit of it.

Approaching is literally 5% of the battle and numbers don't mean shit.

Yes, approaching will get you in the door and yes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take but approaching is fucking easy.

I've approached so many girls, and my openers have ranged from the ridiculous to the plain and boring.

"You look quebecois, are you. Parle francais?"

"Green is definitely your color, im surprised you don't cover yourself in it."

"Is XX bar close?"

"What time is X place open till?"

"I just moved here, I don't know anything. Tell me an interesting fat about your city."

"Is that the new iphone 6?"

The approach is fucking easy, it's just chatting with some random girl. I could go out and approach 30 girls and get probably 25 numbers. I guarantee you 23-24 of them will be no-response or flake out.

Online communities put way too much emphasis on approaching, you can approach a hundred girls and get no where and you can approach ten and get four dates. The interesting thing though is that game is really, really, volatile. What will work for someone else simply doesn't for another person. Some of the BEST game I've ran is what you would consider "beta" but it's congruent with me. I'm not a stoic alpha motherfucker, I like to joke around, tease and touch.

I've tried direct game and it did shit all for ME. I don't know why but I think it's because it's either incongruent with my personality OR it's because I am naturally aggressive and when I turn on the direct game I become over aggressive and scare girls away. This post is actually something I plan to elaborate on because I feel it's a big problem with reddit.

Edit: One more thing, going out just to "game" women in my opinion reeks of desperate behavior that women pick up on. Every Time I've gotten results have been times when I just naturally found myself in the vicinity of a cute. girl. Maybe I'm at the grocery store and see one, maybe it's the gas stations, maybes it in my apartments lounge. If I happen to see a girl that looks cool while I'm out doing whatever I'll approach. I don't force myself to approach random girls in hope something sticks and I definitely won't approach girls I'm not interested in.

[–]ChadThundercockII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This the best post on game on TRP. Incels should be reading this before anything else.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

There is one thing I have never been able to comprehend in terms of posture. How do people walk with their abs tight and breath deeply at the same time? I can either do one or the other but have never managed both at the same time, and I am in decent shape. Is there some secret that I am missing?

[–]sacriliciously 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Tighten your abs and "breathe through your balls" so to speak.

If you tighten your abs by pulling your navel to your spine, you are compressing the diaphragm, and you won't be able to have deep breaths. Try to breathe in really deep and exhale as if you are exhaling through your balls. You'll feel the difference as your core tightens, but you can take deeper breaths.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

That is how I breath, but resulting in my belly expanding on the inhale and seems like the opposite of tightening my core.

[–]sacriliciously 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Then on the inhale, try to fill your lungs with air instead of your belly. I mean, puff out your chest, bring the air to the top of your lungs (nipples and higher) and tighten your abs around your navel at the same time. Then exhale through your balls.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Breathing like that is very shallow and causes problems in the long term.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Breath in through your stomach first. Breath low. You don't need to be sucking your abs in, just holding them tight so that you are making yourself tall and so that you can react. Breath into your belly deeply and then fill up your chest.

[–]sunlith42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, this is one of the first posts here that I found useful and has simple advice I can apply.

[–]magus678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good post, but I would add that you need to be having fun, and being fun, while doing these things.

Don't be a dancing monkey, but if you can exude a fun vibe (and mean it) then your success rate will be much higher, and you will actually enjoy it more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is great advice. I think I'm going to give it a shot. Just a couple questions.

Where are the best places to go? I'm thinking the mall would be a good start but I feel like the people that work there would begin to recognize me and grow suspicious. There are only two malls within driving distance from where I live but plenty of department stores. Other than that I cannot conceive of anything else besides a store because picking them up on the street is not really an option. I don't live in a city.

What are your thoughts on hitting on employees of stores?

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The mall is my main go to. I hit on employees all the time. Once a week at a few malls each and you have your day game gym. There are lots of things that will happen.

These places have little cultures going on. After awhile they get to know your and know that you aren't really there to shop for silk shirts on clearance or whatever. Though you do that as all. But you are there to hit on the girls. Once word gets around that you are doing that some of them literally start competing for your attention. They know you've cold approached other girls and that want the validation as well. In fact not getting it will drive them crazy.

You'll meet other guys who are doing the same thing as you. I've been AMOGed by a short guy with tight game in the mall. Another guy destroyed his reputation by picking up 16 and 17 year old high school girls and then being abusive with them. He was in his late twenties. I have been banned from one store for life because the old post wall manager thought it was her duty to protect the hot young 20 and 21 year old girls from me after she found out I was in my mid thirties. That I was her age.

Protect your reputation by leaving the girls you plate happier and better off because of your wise guidance. Use soft nexts or hard beta behavior to push them away instead of hard nexts. If you have a plate from one area try hit up other areas for awhile. That plate will boost your reputation in her culture and you can go back there later after you've established that she's a plate to look for more.

[–]AgainstYourThought 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How did you find a red pilled therapist? I've tried therapy before, but all the ones I've ever seen were blue pilled beyond belief. It was a complete waste of time and money.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sheer luck. In my early twenties I probably saw around ten different therapists. Every single one but that guy was completely and utterly useless. Therapy is meant for women whose reality is subjective and based on feelings. It would be great if someone would start therapy for men. It would probably fall under life coaching though since men live in objective reality.

[–]ValarMorghulis90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome post. I just finished reading Models by Mark Manson and he talks about this style of approach a lot. Great book to accompany this philosophy.

[–]leigho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for posting this up mate. I found a mix of stuff I knew and ideas for getting more social.

Gonna start practicing. Thanks mate.

[–]mintegral 1 point2 points  (3 children)

You have been cold approaching for a while now. How close have you been in finding a unicorn for a LTR? Or how many potential LTR worthy girls did you meet cold approaching.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

When I started cold approaching I asked out maybe sixty women and went out with twenty of them. Sex with five. The fifth one seemed like good LTR material to me back then, with her partner count at essentially zero before me. This was before I realized that when a woman wants an LTR she goes into stealth slut mode and starts to lie to the men she meets. This girl actually had all of her family and friends convinced to lie to me for her as well. As we all know sluts don't make good LTRs. So that ended. Not because she cheated, as she is the only girl I've committed to who (most likely) did not cheat. It ended because she was honestly alpha widowed by the one guy who took he virginity. Alpha widowed badly and some instinctual part of me knew that marrying such a woman was a bad idea.

I failed to internalize the fact that woman are deceitful to an incredible degree though. I learned that lesson after marrying the fourth girl I dated and had a sexual relationship after that. She was another stealth slut who kept up her lies through 8+ years of marriage and cuckolded me for the entire "marriage". She still holds fast to her lies.

Over the last 14 months my n number has increased by ~10. To the point where I cannot remember all the girls faces or names anymore. None of them are remotely close to marriage material, though I'm sure most of them will get married anyway. Not one single one of them even rose to girlfriend material as I've steadily refused to commit anything to any of them. In order to detect stealth sluts the only solution I've found is to sexualize our encounters as quickly as possible and see how they react and then observe their words and actions to see if they are congruent. They are not, of course.

I also go through my plates phones intentionally. I view it is a massive shit test for me to pass after we have banged. If I don't pass it then they are soft nexted because they don't trust me enough. They may spin back up and have. If you get a chance to go through the phone of a 22 year old HB5 you will see nothing but red pill truths.

So I have not ever found any unicorn. I cannot find any girl who is not a slut. So I considered what other qualities would she have to demonstrate to move from plate to girlfriend. I decided that since divorce rape is so incredibly painful and damaging to your life (already done that) that unless these sluts repent and change and can clearly dictate how they have changed, why, and what actions they have and are taking to avoid being promiscuous sluts in the future then they are forever plates.

I also no longer really enjoy this game. Yes I can find some girl to have sex with. Hooray. What's the point? O started researching into MGTOW, so I watching stardusk/thinking ape and barbarossa and others. There are many cool MGTOW men, and many of them post around here. I've decided that all men should be MGTOW underneath any relationship they choose to engage in. So now I focus mostly on myself, though I do not ignore women, as flirting with them keeps my game from atrophying.

I also looked deeply into my options for changing the pool of women I can draw from. I considered moving to the Philippines and all that would entail. I considered simply using a surrogate so I could have additional children while spinning plates. I also considered joining the strongest patriarchy I could find. For me that is the Mormon Church.

Hence I have stopped spinning plates, soft nexting them all, and am adjusting my life to live under the rules of this patriarchy. I am fine if I die alone though and would say there is a 95% chance that is going to happen. Once I get more strongly under the grips of this patriarchy I will have more to say. I'm keeping a blog about my journey as a former liberal atheist and feminist (yes gag) who is forcing himself to become a conservative Mormon. In modern times I see the patriarchy of this church as very beneficial in many ways beyond that they try to raise chaste, submissive, attractive, and agreeable women.

I'm not sure how it will go but I'm confident enough in the decision that I'm moving ahead full bore with it. Of course this means no sex before marriage, so I am now voluntarily celibate. I have more time to work on myself and my hobbies, and to internalize church doctrine, then I did spinning plates.

This is a short reply but hopefully long enough.

[–]mintegral 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post and really fascinating insights. Thank you.

... In order to detect stealth sluts the only solution I've found is to sexualize our encounters as quickly as possible and see how they react and then observe their words and actions to see if they are congruent. They are not, of course. ...

Can you explain a little more in detail how you manage to detect those stealth sluts. Do you look at their sexual performance? If yes, then they could also shift down a gear in order to fool you (and maybe also themselves aka "I'm not like that anymore..."). Then only time would subtly reveal their incongruence.

[–]Heyimtitel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you give details about your "full retard" mode on that date you've found out she is a slut?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you have inspired me to open on the most butch lesbian i can find, just coz i can

[–]FollowerOfLight 1 points1 points [recovered]

Female here. (Warning given not for attention but so you know an outsider is commenting. Guys need a forum where they can be guys, and I try to not comment often.)

But know that I met my husband because he did all this with me. He wasn't trying to impress or catch anyone. He actually hadn't succeeded with any female before me. (For which I'm grateful.) It just worked for us, although things got complicated with my over-bearing parents. It always gets complicated if you're going for a LTR, which was all I was going to be too any man.

I love how my guy walks with command and doesn't give a crap who is in front of him (old people excepted). I enjoy watching him stare down the hamsters in our office. (I have the privilege of working for him.) I get tickled hearing him tell mommy that he's not going to do what she wants him to do.

My man is a real man who is in the process of learning how to be even better. It all started because he walked and talked with command and openness with me seven years ago.

[–]GC0W30 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It always gets complicated if you're going for a LTR, which was all I was going to be too any man.

You mean you weren't plate material, or you mean you insist on relationships escalating to LTR quickly?

Congrats on having a man you can respect. Lots of women never have that option.

[–]FollowerOfLight 3 points3 points [recovered]

It always gets complicated if you're going for a LTR, which was all I was going to be too any man.

You mean you weren't plate material, or you mean you insist on relationships escalating to LTR quickly?

I mean I was never going to be plate material AND if I was going to be in a relationship, if it was going anywhere, it was LTR: I expected a man to be discussing marriage once we decided we were compatible. What was the point of it otherwise? (Husband and I met when I was 18 and breaking up with a guy for not even wanting to consider a LTR.)

Congrats on having a man you can respect. Lots of women never have that option.

Not sure I agree.

More men need to swallow (some of) TRP so women can respect them. But women need to work on being able to respect men - I'm disgusted with the hamsters I work with who talk about men like they're easily-discarded clothing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I always say. It's a two-way street. Both genders need to swallow their own respective RP's.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well, i lets restart cold approching

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 5 points6 points  (7 children)

It means that in general all women are having sex with multiple men over any two month period. Often men they just met that day. That feminine virtue does not exist anymore. No woman bothers to cultivate her character with chastity, demureness, agreeableness, submission, and a cheerful outlook. They all want to be men. Yeah easy to fuck but then you realize that that is literally all they are good for.

They don't make good friends. They won't make even average wives. I can't create a family with them because they are valueless sluts. The only value they have is wet holes for my dick. And they all think that they are awesome because of it.

I've stopped fucking or physically seeing my plates. Enacted a blanket wide soft next. Occasional texts that's it. I'm modifying my culture to gain access to the only patriarchy I can find in America to see if I can possibly meet a woman who understands and cares about her own value. Though I have submit to this patriarchy as well.

I'm not sure if there is any patriarchy left in the US that can keep any girl from celebrating her low value slut behavior. If not then it's just sluts for life and no more children. So be it

[–]kevlarut 2 points3 points  (5 children)

The Mormons are still running a pretty successful patriarchy in America. It's a good culture in which to get a wife and raise a family, but you've got to follow the rules.

[–]sevans105 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I hate that this is true. I grew up Mormon...Although the religion is bunk, it really does do a good job of turning out high value women...they just tend to be mentally messed up due to the no sex programming. Lots of stories out there about Mormon women who have NO clue about how to have fun in bed.

The no-sex before marriage thing tends to have them equating sex for procreation only.....which is not that much fun.

[–]fhghg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jack Mormons are the silver lining. Little rebel blondies begging for it in the ass 24/7.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yes I'm learning them all the time. Learning to rephrase my existing beliefs into religious language and attaching scriptures to them. I love their patriarchy. It's heavenly father not god and they literally ex communicate feminists. Patriarchy isn't just about controlling women though, it's ultimately about controlling men. I'll submit to that patriarchy. I'm giving it two years from my baptism to evaluate.

[–]trplurker 2 points2 points [recovered]

I was raised LDS and while I don't follow many of their theocratic beliefs I do respect how that entire religion is about building and maintaining families. They guard their social circles to ensure pollution doesn't creep in, women have their own place to talk while men have theirs. One of the few places where they teach women to value their husband and completely submit to him. That the husband is the leader of the family and thus assumes all responsibility for it's state.

[–]fhghg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can get this in SE Asia too. Most poorer countries have it. And in these places the patriarchy comes from reality instead of mythology. But women are getting more powerful there too. The USA is spreading culture through youtube and the Web much more effectively than it did in the past with Hollywood. The Web is personal. It literally is culture. We are being homogenized. The natural barriers to culture are gone. Only dogma and indoctrination remain. So yea, Mormon might be the last hold out in a decade.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

OP, what is your success rate in %.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It doesn't really work that way. Let's say from making eye contact to getting a plate my success rate is below 0.1%. From making a statement to getting a plate it's maybe 0.5%. From stating that we are getting lunch it's lunch maybe 15% but plate status more like 5%.

There just isn't really any way to properly answer that question.

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[–]ChairBorneMGTOW -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is excellent advice - not just for spinning plates. It's great advice for improving your standing in society. It's great advice for gaining status in a subculture. It's great advice for avoiding getting mugged (I cold-approached three guys who lurking and preparing to mug me once, and they ended up giving me directions when I asked).