Sub-Communication With The Wife

Hornyonion · 2019-10-24T20:09:35+00:00

Actually your observation is spot on. Women look at things purely from their perspective. They never look at the big picture. It is as if everything has to do with them, even things that are not related to them or simply are random.

So your wife's default mode when entering the room is not that you continously made a decision for that channel. It is "how am I affected from this?" or "what is my opinion/action to be taken?". Subsequently, she needs to somehow show that she is "in control" of the situation, so she kind of gives you permission to do what you already have been doing.

Stemming from that subconscious need to always be in control and fro the fact that every woman is the leading actor in her life film, you can explain other behaviors as well:

1) Women are terrible at driving. In order to behave appropriately when driving you need to place yourself in the greater scheme of things. You are part of a system and every part of the system (the cars around you, pedestrians, traffic lights etc) move with you. They don't move according to what you do but they have their own purpose. Women do not take all this in consideration. So they light say "I wanted to turn so I turned. The other car should have seen me". Or "I got scared by this fast approaching car so I slowed down". Again, no thought about the greater context.

2) Women are terrible at arranging group activities. In order to do that you need to combine the schedules of different people and possibly make compromises about the time, location or activity to be done. But they don't want that because that means you partly give away control. So you have the case where some girl friends say that they would like to arrange something as a group but it NEVER gets organized.

3) As a man, women expect you to have an opinion about EVERYTHING. Even for things that are not important. If you don't, then you "lack initiative, you are plain vanilla etc". Having opinion means influencing decisions which means more control of our surrounding environment. For them it is natural, for us it is a learned activity. And of course, an answer such as "that's fine" is not enough.

mrpintraining · 2019-10-24T18:14:14+00:00

My wife does that stuff (also very Type A). I just reply “I know.” Her favorite: “it’s your decision” which is almost like her giving me permission to make the decision. Again I just say “I know.” Honestly you made me realize that she always hands me the remote now when I walk in, that never used to happen. She’s much more submissive in her actions than she’s ever been and that’s all that really matters.

BobbyPeru · 2019-10-24T18:49:48+00:00

Oh, thank you very much for your permission!"

Nope. You give too many fucks. I wish there was a book about giving less fucks

2ndal · 2019-10-24T18:38:08+00:00

someone else only has the power you give them

in being perturbed by her way of communicating, you are giving her the power to affect your emotions with her words (also called losing frame)

this can be solved by not giving her the power to affect your emotions with her words (also called having frame)

practically speaking we call this "not giving a fuck" around these parts

importantly: "not giving a fuck" does not equal "getting fucking mad about it but pretending you're not" it means letting her words and actions slide off you like hot butter on a warm dick and going about your marry way

ChokingDownRP · 2019-10-24T18:03:01+00:00

"that's fine" is just something people say. If you don't like that she says it, you either need to exit her frame (if this bothers you, you're clearly in her frame) or AA/AM, but go way over the top with "thank you your majesty for allowing me this excursion, perhaps when I return, I shall tap thy royal ass m'lady" smack her ass, curtsy out the door and don't give her comments a second thought.

Either way, you care too fucking much about this

SBIII · 2019-10-24T18:36:37+00:00

Give less fucks about what she says / doesn't say / communicates / doesn't communicate.

The only question you should have about your wife is "when is the last time she begged me for my cock?".

The rest is just fluff.

Decent post for this sub though. Have an upvote.

Balls_Wellington_ · 2019-10-24T19:17:31+00:00

My wife does this too. I'll say something like "I'll be in the garage" and she goes "yeah, go ahead."

Honestly it is probably a holdover from my previous beta behavior. It's also something I don't worry about.

Sepean · 2019-10-24T21:19:34+00:00

Use those weapons too, man. Apply your frame. I judge her all the time, throw subtle negs, use disqualification. It’s game 101.

Then you get stuff like “have I been good enough or will you spank me?” instead.

throwawaybpdnpd · 2019-10-25T01:57:46+00:00

Don’t pay attention to what she says, watch what she does instead

CarelessBowler5 · 2019-10-24T18:19:36+00:00

AA.

"Oh, good. Can I get the permission slip?"

"Any channel I want? Which one is Playboy on these days."

Cheeky grin. Eye contact. Let her connect the dots.

yes_kid · 2019-10-24T23:31:13+00:00

I'm experiencing this right now.