TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

48

It’s the best relationship advice book that I have ever read. The premise is that a relationship will only work if there is a masculine energy and a feminine energy, and conflict often arises from role reversal. The problem in our society today is that both women and men want it all.


[–]ToraChan23 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I also think a problem in society is the lack of honesty.

It’s perfectly okay to have personal wants and needs, motives, desires, etc. But men and women today are not honest about what those are, or assume the other person will just provide it while getting upset when they don’t.

I think the best relationships are not only masculine/feminine energy combined, but also woven into honesty and directness.

[–]lilasbaby2 22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can someone share some relevant tips or passages?

[–]BePrivateGirl 8 points9 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

There was a lot of solid advice in the book, but the end didn’t sit well with me. If I remember correctly there was some weird advice about withholding sex and affection if he drags his feet about proposing. That would certainly be an awkward situation either way, but altogether worth a read.

[–]herdothehippo 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I completely agree. Some of her advice definitely needs to be taken with a grain of salt or avoided all together. The book was written almost 25 years ago so certain aspects are very outdated. The basic principles, however, are timeless and that’s why I love it so much.

[–]BePrivateGirl 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought the beginning arguments about masculine energy attracting feminine or vice versa was actually quite inclusive. It could be applied in a broad sense to monogamy, polyamory, kinky, heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

It basically said if you want to be a bad bitch masculine woman, there’s nothing wrong with that, just find a passive man. Of course that’s mostly not what we are looking for here, but it’s not just screaming into an echo chamber.

I personally don’t find engagement or marriage to be important to me, which I know goes against the grain of the sub and—lol—the title of this book is “Getting to I Do” so I’ll just reiterate, a lot of good content in this book, you don’t have to agree with all of it for it to be useful.

[–]lilasbaby2 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy Link

Anything regarding becoming more feminine you're willing to share with us? Haven't read it & don't have time these days unfortunately

[–]BePrivateGirl 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I kind of thought something similar that the other commenter said. It’s important to take the time to learn things you prioritize.

If you say “Be feminine, eat healthy, smoking is bad” everyone says “okay, sure, I agree with that advice.” But it’s very superficial. It passes through your consciousness very briefly and it’s meaningless to you because you don’t recall it in your time of need.

If you take the time to read, internalize, relate emotionally, and critically think about long form arguments or essays about the tenants of RPW, it will be more meaningful to you. You will learn it better.

Just do ten pages a day. Or don’t pretend that it’s important to you if it’s not.

[–]i-am-the-prize -2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

You don’t have time to listen to an audiobook while you work out? While you walk the dog? In traffic on your commute on the way to school or work?

Considering the topic of this book is pretty darn important for most people yet you’ve asked twice on this thread for nuggets from the book instead of just getting the damn thing. First I thought you were cheap now it just seems you’re lazy.

If you’re actually too busy to listen or read a book about marriage you’re probably too busy to do that right anyway - so go ahead and skip both altogether.

/snark

[–]changingtoflats 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Did you find this in audiobook format somewhere? If so please share, it doesn't appear to have an Audible version available unfortunately.

It is much easier for me to find time for audiobooks while commuting rather than sit and read text at home.

[–]i-am-the-prize -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did not look for one, the book is not for me. If you looked and didn't find one, that sucks. because:

" It is much easier for me to find time for audiobooks while commuting rather than sit and read text at home "

Bingo. +1

[–]Muchadoaboutcass 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meow

[–]hudry77 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Go back to the male subs buddy, some people are indeed very pressed for time

[–]i-am-the-prize 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point. Because I have a penis my statement about it being preposterous for her to be too busy for even an audiobook during workouts, or commuting is invalid.

Because as a father of four with two kids doing travel sports and owning a small businesses working over 70 hours a week I know nothing about being busy ... and how to make time to “read” (listen) to books that matter to me.

What do I know - I’m just a man.

[–]blue__wing 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just ordered an online copy and am reading through it right now based on your recommendation! So far great, looking forward to getting through to the end :)

[–]herdothehippo 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Would love to discuss it when you’re done!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter