(This from an email I recieved from SimplePickup. Looks like its worth to share)
"Imagine you go into a barber shop and tell the girl that you’re just looking for a little trim. Just a little, but nothing too noticeable.
She nods along with your hair-doo request and tells you it’ll be no problem.
The entire time she’s cutting your hair, you keep telling her that a trim is all you need and she’s doing an amazing job.
Now, when it’s time to pay...you blurt out “wait but... I wanted you to shave my head”.
The barber is going to say “Uh, you told me you wanted a trim. You were smiling and enjoying yourself during the entire haircut. What are you talking about?”
And you go, “Well I want you to cut off more, please”
When she looks at you with a face mixed with surprise and confusion, all she’s thinking is Why didn’t this guy just tell me sooner?
Well, that’s what it’s like for girls on the opposite end of the friend zone.
See, when it comes to the friend zone, a lot of guys think that they’re the victims. And that’s just not true.
And if YOU think you’re the victim in a friendzone story, you need to consider her feelings.
Imagine how awkward it is for the girl to think your entire relationship is based on friendship...when in reality you want to fuck her.
The two of you have spent weeks, months, even years forming what she finds an amazing, platonic friendship.
And then all of a sudden...one day you randomly say, “Surprise! I’m in love with you!” out of the blue.
She didn’t see it coming and who’s to blame?
You’re wasting not only HER time, but YOUR time when you’re dishonest about your intentions.
You’re not making your intentions clear from the start...and that’s fucked up to the girl.
When you surprise a girl like that, they usually aren’t receptive...and here’s why.
They feel like you’ve betrayed their trust. And it hurts.
When you professed your desire to be a “good friend”, she’s thinking to herself, thank god - I’ve finally made a guy friend who isn’t trying to fuck me.
And because she truly believed that, she confided in you. She felt comfortable opening up and spending a ridiculous amount of time with you. Staying up till 2am. Doing homework together. Watching your favorite TV shows.
Girls find comfort in a deep, meaningful platonic relationship with men. It’s a solace from all the other guys out there just trying to get some. And when you take that away from her, she feels like you’ve been lying to her the entire time.
Your friendship is immediately devalued and all of a sudden...everything you had in common doesn’t matter to her because you misled her.
YOU might feel like the victim because you got denied a sexual or romantic relationship with this girl but take a step back and think about what she’s feeling.
You walked into her barbershop and told her one thing, while expecting something totally different.
Nobody likes being misled.
So what do you do?
You need make your intentions clear from the start! Sometimes girls just want friendship, and you have to respect that by being upfront with her so that she can make the decision.
If you were flirty from the beginning, telling her you think she’s cute and making it clear that you’re attracted to her, then your intentions are already completely out there.
This is the most important part:
When she knows your true intentions, she gets to decide if she wants to continue hanging out and talking with you.
It doesn't matter if you’re looking for a relationship or a consistent fuck buddy. If you aren’t making your intentions clear from the very beginning, you are only setting yourself up for a lot of wasted time and heartache.
Listen, I know why you don’t want to show your attraction from the beginning, I don’t blame you: it feels safe.
Growing up your entire life through Hollywood movies and books and tv shows... you’ve been taught that befriending while secretly having feelings for her is romantic... that professing your “true feelings” is romantic.
But it’s not.
You know that life isn’t a fucking movie. So state your intentions from the beginning.
Every second that goes by where you’re not stating your intentions, you’re digging yourself deeper into the friendzone.
Let’s break this down psychologically:
Most guys aren’t comfortable showing their attraction from the beginning because they’re afraid the girl won’t text them back or see them again.
Let’s say that happens. You tell a cute girl that you think she’s cute and you want to take her out on a date.
She says “no thanks.”
So what? This isn’t a big deal. Think about all the time you just saved.
Would you rather know that a girl isn’t open to a relationship on day one...or month 11?
Wouldn’t you rather be honest with women, than try to convince them to date you later down the line?
You have complete control over whether or not you find yourself in the friendzone, and all you have to do is be honest from the beginning.