There recently was a post that stated how as men, we should be clear about our intentions early on with girls.
It is unfortunate that I didn't read that post until earlier today. It looks like "Reddit"/and TRP had already approved of it and it had been upvoted into oblivion.
Although I don't disagree with the premise of being upfront, the analysis behind why this is the case (i.e. girl not knowing your intention/feeling betrayed) was horrifyingly off.
I'm sure most of you read it, but the basic premise is this: when you aren't upfront about your intentions with a girl (i.e. I want to fuck you), you are leading the girl to have mismatched expectations of what the relationship is, and thus you are setting the girl up to feel betrayed when you express your love down the line.
It is my mission to help you reconsider.
I saw various comments from seasoned members of our community trying to turn the tide and that are in line with my thinking, but they had already been pushed down by those that had jumped on and fully supported the content of that post.
Here is how it really goes:
- The girl fully knows what the guys intentions are. We are fucking obvious about our intentions. It is "I want to get in your pants." Every time you carry her books, she is thinking "This chump wants to get into my pants."
- This is unattractive to a girl because she knows what your intentions are, but she is absolutely disgusted that you don't have the balls to be forthright about it. Let me repeat. She only sees you as a friend because you don't have the BALLS to be upfront. This has nothing to do with her not knowing. She sees you as a friend because you ain't acting like a man.
- Tangent - It should be noted that this does not mean you meet a girl and say "HEY MAN CAN I FCK YOU" when you first meet her. You need tact. She wants you to let her know that you want to get in her pants so that she has the option of choosing whether or not she is down. But no girl wants to be perceived as a slut, nor do they want to have to deal with outright rejection of a man. So you need to escalate. A touch here. A tease there. If she is down, she will reciprocate. You need to communicate your intention while allowing her to maintain plausible deniability of the situation. "How could I be a slut if he never asked me if I was DTF?" "How could I reject him if he never straight up asked me if I could go out with him!"
- Back to those not willing to be upfront about intentions - To a girl though, validation is validation. She is not attracted to you, but she wants you to continue validating her. She wants you to beta orbit her for all of eternity. So she pretends she doesn't know that you want to do her. Actually, pretend is harsh. A better way to put it would be "convinces herself" that you just want to be friends. The hamster is strong. But it's fucking obvious and deep inside she knows it. She can read you like a book. You like her and she wants nothing to do with you. There is a deep safeness in her soul that if you were to confess your love, she can claim ignorance.
- Why does she want to maintain ignorance? By pretending to be oblivious to your intentions, she wants to again maintain plausible deniability. She would hate to be socially identified as someone who uses boys as emotional tampons so she continues to convince herself she doesn't know. That way if you do "reveal" that you want to fck her she can act incredulous and be like how DARE you betray my trust!
- But once again, that is bullshit. She betrayed YOUR trust by using you as a shoulder to cry on while knowingly giving you false hope that she will fuck you.
In conclusion, if you think that girls don't know what your intentions are, you are naive. They may convince themselves that you are just a friend. But once again, the hamster is strong in them.