Red Pill TheoryDon't save her. She doesn't want to be saved. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

So there's the girl. You've known her for a while, and you've always been interested in her. Doesn't matter how you know her; could be work. Maybe a class. Maybe she goes to your gym and you chit chat while you're there.

So this girl keeps telling you stories about all these shitty guys she keeps dating. Guys who manipulate her emotionally. Guys who fuck her and then don't call her back. Sometimes even guys who hit her.

Your natural response is probably going to feel like you need to protect her from this injustice - from whatever pain she's feeling emotionally or otherwise. If only she could see what it's like to date a good guy like you. You're going to want to save her. Especially if she has a kid.


What you're encountering in this moment is a woman of poor decision making skills who allows her life to spin out of control. In the 21st century in modern countries, especially those in Europe and the West, woman have more rights and freedoms than they ever have in history. They are also afforded protections under law that allow them to financially destroy their spouses through alimony and outlandish child support. Broken, damaged women with emotional baggage and sometimes children are not an RP man's idea of dating material.

The risks in dating these types of women are everywhere. First of all, why would you ever want to date someone who can't keep their own life in check? If she's getting evicted from her place and "needs a place to stay for a while", what does that tell you about her ability to manage her own finances? What happens when she needs to borrow money from you? If she's got a kid, how long before you "take on a fatherly role" as the state would put it, and she can hit you up for child support? What happens when you realize she was full of shit about all her stories of being abused and is actually bat-shit crazy and starts accusing you?

Don't put yourself in these types of situations. Women who are like this do not want to be saved. They want to continue behaving like children and riding the carousel. They are not yet emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship that can succeed. And if they have a kid, you shouldn't be responsible for it. She should.

It's been said before that TRP is the radical notion that women are people. So don't save them from their mistakes. If you wouldn't do it for your friend, don't do it for her just because she has a vagina. Afterall, that would be sexist.

[–]blacwidonsfw 153 points154 points  (19 children)

Save her like scar saved mufasa

[–]Hitlers_Boss 86 points87 points  (0 children)

"long.... Live... The matriarchy..." lets go

[–]Not_Reliable 50 points51 points  (7 children)

"Area Man Arrested After Heaving Divorcee to Stampeding Pack of Wildebeests"

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

And here's my little secret (whisper) "I killed the bitch."

[–]Corndog_Enthusiast 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I see you aren't the lube oil of the gay variety?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I regret not calling myself strawberrylubeoil.

[–]Corndog_Enthusiast -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I should make a pure TRP account in the gist of lube oil

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Comment of the fucking month right here

[–]1jb_trp 20 points21 points  (7 children)

What's up with all the Disney references on TRP lately? I love a good pop culture reference, but damn, Disney cartoons really aren't on my mind.

Whatever, I guess I should just let it go.

[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

no you took it too far. you like actually saw the whole movie n shit.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 102 points103 points  (25 children)

Totally agree and can confirm from my young blue pill mistakes. Nobody admires a Captain Save-A-Ho, especially the ho! I eventually grew out of it, and I can even tell you where their lives went 20-25 years later.

  • The cute blond I beta-orbited for a few years after high school, until I finally realized how stupidly one-sided it became and completely broke off what could have been a lifelong friendship if she hadn't gotten so greedy. Fat, hermit lifestyle, still with Chad Hipstercock who is even fatter and has serious health issues.

  • The cute broken flower who cried on my shoulder over her "asshole boyfriend who tells me he wants to fuck other women." Everyone thought I was heir-apparent to her love, but after a period of enjoying the fruits of my budding oneitis, jumped to a REALLY abusive, probable DT type. Chanced into her in the retirement village where it turned out both our Moms moved. Approaching 40, she didn't look a day under 65 from years of heavy drinking, pills, and abuse; I thought she was one of the residents till she recognized me!

  • The short dumpy hippie chick from our activist group; surely she'd be glad to have a summer romance with a better-looking "nice guy," right? No, but with TRP hindsight she'd gladly take two as beta orbiters while having ONSs with shitbirds of mathematically implausibly lower SMV than her. Then after pitting my friend against me, chooses him as a boyfriend, proceeds to be disinterested and boring in bed, breaks up with him for a drunk loser after 3 months, then leaves on a grand road trip to find herself. Friend discovers she gave him herpes, after exposing his next girlfriend to it too and infecting her; marriage and decadal misery ensue. Hippie girl calls years later out of the blue, still on her grand road trip, currently living in [city, state], and acts surprised when I say no I don't want her number and move to wrap up the conversation.

  • The sweet-and-sour girl whose dad was an alcoholic and whose mother died when she was a teen, who rather flopped into my life because she was being evicted from her shared apartment by "all her asshole ex-friends." So nice a partner at first I thought I might marry her one day; so broken she'd be unaccountably bitchy or jealous for an entire day or longer over nothing; finally kicked her to the curb. Years later her wedding invitation picture made the rounds; her and fiancee sitting on a huge rock in a beautiful forest setting; several feet apart, looking away in different directions and both frowning.

  • The woman living in a string of motels needing a fresh start after a "bad breakup." Grateful and happy for the first several months and sex was phenomenal, then she (re)started using meth, went full axis II psycho, took a restraining order and two trips to jail to keep her away in the end. Years later was on the County Sheriff website and entered her name into the inmate finder, she'd been arrested twice that year. She also lost all parental rights to her children.

Young men starting out on a Red Pill path, do NOT re-make these mistakes! There is no valor or validation to attempting it, so trust people when they tell you: She does NOT want to be saved!

Find a woman who is already pretty much going your way, under her own power, if you want a relationship and not a freaking soap opera. Edit: Format

[–]ThePillIsRed 63 points63 points [recovered]

Man, you're the fucking king of bad choices. I did stupid shit in high school, but wow.

[–][deleted] 47 points47 points

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[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 31 points32 points  (2 children)

This chronicles the young misadventures of the last generation of men raised by marriage 1.0 mothers; it predates not only TRP but the WWW itself. I could pretend I was born a natural alpha, but that would not serve the sub or save idealistic young men from the same traps, now would it? Plus, who doesn't enjoy some schadenfreude while learning the ropes?

I should have included the fact that approaching 50, I have a happy sex life with a choice of plates, UNlike the girls I thought I could fix up into a life partner in my early 20s.

[–]1NPIF 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your insight that comes with age and experience is definitely of value to us younger men in the sub. Thanks for contributing.

[–]rpscrote 4 points5 points  (0 children)

makes for a hell of a story though

[–]systemshock869 7 points7 points [recovered]

The sweet-and-sour girl whose dad was an alcoholic and whose mother died when she was a teen, who rather flopped into my life because she was being evicted from her shared apartment by "all her asshole ex-friends." So nice a partner at first I thought I might marry her one day; so broken she'd be unaccountably bitchy or jealous for an entire day or longer over nothing; finally kicked her to the curb. Years later her wedding invitation picture made the rounds; her and fiancee sitting on a huge rock in a beautiful forest setting; several feet apart, looking away in different directions and both frowning.

Shit. Just moved this one into my house. Post-RP. What am I thinking. Even knowing these things it's hard not to want to help out these 'delicate little flowers.' Hopefully I can balance the rollercoaster long enough to come out of it unscathed. 6 days in and I can already do no right. And where is that sex drive that was so high when she needed a place to go? Fuck.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 21 points22 points  (11 children)

Honey traps are easy to fall in to, aren't they?

Get her out NOW! What is possible after 6 days becomes impossible after 30; you will need to go through an eviction process that can take 60 days, longer for a skilled system-player. A cop told me, "Basically, if her toothbrush is on the sink, we can't remove her." sigh Been there, dealt with that.

[–]zephyrprime 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's really amazing how now with social media, we can see where people end up decades later.

BTW, what is a "DT" type?

[–]Namaste1994 1 point2 points  (1 child)

DT means Dark Triad (personality type).

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks Namaste. Yes, there's a bit of an acronym learning curve on this sub; the glossary in the sidebar is your friend when new here.

[–]1Dev_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's supposed to be the captain and first mate idea of an LTR here, but not captain saveaho

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I knew a guy. I'll call him Matt. I met Matt at work. He was a very nice guy, with a somewhat creepy/desperate vibe. If you are really soft you wouldn't like him because he is very direct.

Now I needed a place to stay so a guy named Matt let me pay in his townhome with an extra room. It was fully fitted and was really nice. He gave me a good deal and with that came conversations about his ordeals. He explained the drugs to make sure I wasn't "tricked" into living there. His major ordeal for the past 2 or 3 years was taking care of some girl completely unrelated to him. To be more exact, it was his ex-girlfriends "little" sister (low 20s).

No why was he taking care of an adult? Well for some reason he wanted to play Captain save-a-ho. This girl was pretty much abandoned by her family. She was addicted to drugs, she injected, took pills, and I don't know what else. She was broke and would definitely fuck for drugs.

That's why Matt decided to save her. He himself was a now sober alcoholic who used to down 2 or 3 bottles a day. Maybe he saw a little of himself in her so he wanted to help. However she was a woman. She was not interested in him. She was, however, interested in the free ride.

Matt planned on personally weening her off drugs. He would actually purchase drugs for her and get her used to smaller and smaller doses. She would go in and out of rehab and he would pay. He would let her stay in his house and even have her sleep in his room. He claimed that they never had sex or anything and I believe him. When I did move in she confided in me that he always said he wasn't into her, but he was totally into her. She knew what she was doing. She was getting PRIME BB treatment for the trash she was.

He was in a decent paying profession for 10 years and of a wealthy family with connections. That said he was completely broke. He emptied his retirement funds and other investments on this girl to save her.

With all of those provisions for free what incentive does she have to change? None. Every time he threatened to take action and kick her out she would manipulate him by convincing him that she would finally change. That never happened. I was at the house for about a month, but in that time she stole his car and went to fuck some random dudes and do drugs. He's past rock bottom now. says she's at rehab. He says, again, "She's doing very well".

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Whatever she says about her ex, she'll say it about you when you are her ex.

[–]LifeAtPeace 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly. This is what happened in my case. Heroes become villains eventually.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

One thing I did eventually realise in my old BP days was - if you want to date women, do the things they complain about. She's telling you the kind of man she likes. It ain't gonna change.

Women have great protection in our society and abundant choice. Attractive women could date a nice guy at the snap of their pretty fingers. If they choose not to - there is a reason. And again, it ain't gonna change.

You can't save others, you can only save yourself.

I'll help people on their journey, but I never forget whose journey it is and I will not waste my time if that effort looks like it will go to waste.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 115 points116 points  (4 children)

If a man needs a lesson on why he shouldn't feel the need to protect or save a woman in this day and age, he's not ready for TRP. That is the bottom line. We shame white knights for a reason, and white knights as we all recognize are the ones to jump in to try and "save the day" all the time.

Older generations of women were more keen on getting providers because it meant a better life for them. With women able to provide for themselves, if you're still trying to fill the role of a provider, you're gonna get dropped fast.

Think of her as a company. A company that has a position for a provider, but it's filled, to the brink. If you're applying to this company to fill that position, you're not going to get the job. Some day you might get the job, when the better employees start leaving the company and they have to start promoting people out of the provider position. You will get the job, but not until after the company's outlook is grim.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I went through all this the hard way, before TRP and the internet itself. While it seems obvious to us from a position of experience, there will always be idealistic young men coming of age who need to be reminded of why this "universal" truism exists, and what happens to those who think they can buck the trend. Therefore, I don't think it's somehow beneath this sub to include such material.

Your second and third paragraphs are gold, as usual.

[–]alfred_e_nooman 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Shaming is considered a feminist tactic to emotionally manipulate and guilt people into a certain ideology.

I'd just share the information and let the person weigh in the facts to make up their own minds. However I will only do this once then let them be on their way, they are adults after all and not children, so they will have to live with their decisions.

[–]dabrah1 62 points63 points  (13 children)

My first girlfriend was a perfect example of this. I met her when I was in 12th grade- she was your typical alternative girl, who dyed her hair, listened to weird music styles (industrial, goth, etc), and always had a million and one problems. Be it failing school, getting kickewd out of her house, getting addicted to pills, there was always some shit going on.

Anyway, I had been living my life full beta up until this point. SO one day, I ended up hanging out after school and talking to her. One thing led to another, and I got her number and started making out with her. Never having really done anything with a girl before, I fell for her fast. Before I knew it, I was her latest boyfriend in a string of boyfriends.

She basically made my life a living hell for 7 months. Between constantly getting kicked out of her moms house, popping pills, and hanging out with tons of questionable guys, I had my hands filled. Before her, my life was going to school, studying, goin gout to family dinners, and hanging out with friends occasionally. With her I was always driving her around to different shady apartments, drug deals, to hang out. I also started skipping classes, and days of school when she did. The whole time she would always complain about how things never went her way, and a couple months in it finally dawned on me that everything going on in her life was her fault.

She was getting kicked out of her house because she came home at 4 in the morning, in a state other than sobriety. She was addicted to pills because she didn't have the self restraint to use them sparingly. She was failing school because she chose to never go to class.

I found out 7 months into this that she had cheated on me with multiple guys. At this point, I wasn't surprised at all. I broke up with her, and never looked back. The only good thing that came out of this was me essentially learning the red pill years before I discovered this thread. This relationship made me realize what kind of guys girls really went for, and the extent that they would use any poor man who they could get in their grasp. I will never fall for "the girl who needs to be saved" ever again.

[–]MHOOD01 14 points14 points [recovered]

Should've listened to some Project Pat.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 41 points42 points  (5 children)

"She basically made my life a living hell for 7 months."

No. She didn't make you do anything. You LET her bring you down. Women only do what men allow them to do. 7 months? That was your fault for not valuing your time.

But you cut her out of your life. Though you had to go neck deep in the shit before you were aware of your folly like most of us here, you learned a great lesson. Good job. Welcome to the realm of the awakened.

[–][deleted] 47 points47 points

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[–]Berend09[🍰] 33 points34 points  (2 children)

He isn't being a dick. He's telling the cold, hard, blunt truth.

Consider it constructive criticism and reflection.

[–]1DRMMR76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth that he already realized, otherwise he wouldn't be here, on TRP, pointing out that very same truth in the first place. It was being a dick. Some people seem to get off on taking the superiority angle. dr_warlock seems to be one of those.

[–]dabrah1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Absolute right mr warlock. I let her take over my life- I put her before school, my family , my friends, everything. All because she gave me the one thing I haven't had at that point- consistent pussy. Looking back at that from where I am now , where I can easily get multiple girls , I can't believe I wasted all that time on her. We were all young once.

[–]1DRMMR76 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She was addicted to pills because she didn't have the self restraint to use them sparingly.

Not to nitpick, but she was addicted because she used them at all. When you fuck with your brain chemistry, your brain chemistry fucks with you.

[–]dabrah1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then why can people use Vic and Percocet when they get surgery done , and then not use after there healed ? People quit smoking every day, and nicotine is one of the most addictive substances on the planet. It's not easy , but if you have discipline and self restraint you can do it.

[–]StarDestinyGuy[🍰] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

What's happened to her since?

[–]dabrah1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After I broke up with her , she immediately started dating this drug dealer, and got even heavier into pills. Her parents basically disowned her, so she had to live at this kids apartment . It's been about 6 years since then, and the last I heard about her was that she was working as a dishwasher in some restaurant in Philly, and she was in the middle of some property lawsuit. Needless to say, her downward spiral got even worse after we broke up.

[–]WeAreGlidingNow 26 points26 points [recovered]

Good notes. Can totally relate, thinking back to my WK days as a young man. But there's a follow-on thought. These days, when a woman tells me she's had lots of shitty men in her life, and laments, "why me?", I now come back with a question: why are you attracting these kinds of men? What signals are you putting out that attracts bad men and keeps good ones away?

Wow, the first time i used this "line", the woman was speechless and wide-eyed. It NEVER occurred to her that SHE could be the problem. She had no answer, none at all, not even after thinking about it. No one had ever asked her that before. She was truly stunned.

[–]Sizzlecheeks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Excellent point.

And the reason she had no response is that she was raised, her whole life, saturated in feminism & brought up with a self-indulgent princess attitude. Of course it would never occur to her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I gotta hear a followup on this one.

[–]fortifiedoranges 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I wasn't there but I've used that line before, she just gets pissy and goes back to being exactly the same.

[–]zephyrprime 1 point2 points  (1 child)

unfortunately, this is how reality works.

[–]fortifiedoranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indeed. TRP is a nice tool to accept the fact that you can't change the world, but you can change how you look at things.

[–]bitfundun 76 points77 points  (22 children)

Nice use of J. Cole lyrics, I approve.

[–]toastedmale 29 points30 points  (5 children)

[–]bitfundun 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I didn't know this song existed but thank you for enlightening me. I only know those lyrics because of J. Cole's 'No Role Models' but I'll look into more of Project Pat's work.

[–]TomSachs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Project Pat is Juicy J's brother. Cool little connection

[–]reezyreddits 3 points4 points  (0 children)

good info! thought it was j. cole too.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]dan_legend 30 points31 points  (0 children)


J. Cole raps in characters and openly states that he is telling stories from different perspectives. In the song "No Role Modelz" that these lyrics refer to he is rapping from his own perspective as a rich succesful black person. He is speaking a very red pill message in this song.

I want a real love, dark skinned and Aunt Viv love

That Jada and that Will love

That leave a toothbrush at your crib love

And you ain't gotta wonder whether that's your kid love

Nigga I don't want no bitch from reality shows

Out of touch with reality hoes

Out in Hollywood bringin' back 5 or 6 hoes

Fuck em' then we kick em' to the door

Nigga you know how it go

She deserved that, she a bird, it's a bird trap

You think if I didn't rap she would flirt back

In his second verse he talks about how he wants true love but all the girls these days are shallow with their pussy just wanting to give out alpha fucks basically and that trying to secure these women is a complete waste of time. He understands they are equivalent to hoes and he reminds his audience towards the end of this verse these girls are only interested in him because of his fame and that without it they would be chasing another alpha fux.

[–]couchmonkee 5 points6 points  (4 children)

The song lights please is not about J. Cole saving a hoe. The girl in the song is a metaphorical reference to the rap game. J. Cole wants to spread knowledge and truth but she keeps saying it's cool just turn off the lights and fuck me. Which could translate into its cool just turn off the lights take this money and enjoy the fame fuck all that truth and knowledge bs, it's all about money and hoes

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


this song is more blunt with those kinds of lyrics

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everyone in hip hop appears to be a white knight, even jay z. Being a high status white knight makes women go "aww, that's so sexy."

[–]HiiipowerBass -1 points0 points  (4 children)

FUCK YOU. That is project pat all day. That's the title of he song for Christ sakes. You just spit in memphis's face

[–]Of_course__But_maybe 18 points18 points [recovered]

God forbid we don't know a song that wasn't part of our generation over one that just came out last year.

The message is the important thing, not to mention someone else already linked the original source. ^^^^J ^^^^Cole ^^^^did ^^^^it ^^^^better.

[–]UgUgImDyingYouIdiot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Memphis spits in its own face

[–]DualCamSam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was project pat and three 6 mafia

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This. Thank you. How do you know she is bat-shit crazy? For instance, she tells you that she's been beaten by her boyfriend, but still keeps seeing him. Obviously you wonder if she is lying or just plain retarded. Either way, she is not in your 'pack', why should you care?

Same goes for a child which is not yours, or not related to you in any way. Why would you waste resources, most of it being time (which you will never get back) on someone not belonging to you?

Last year I met up a few times with this 31 year old, foreigner, who as turned out had a kid. Her life was basically a mess, and even though she had a kid, she spent £700+ to see me. Then she blurted out that I should move to her country. The icing on the cake was her attempt at constant emotional manipulation. Have never felt so disgusted in my life.

Drunk woman intrudes your chill night out with the lads? Tell her flat out you do not care and she should leave fast. There is no point in sacrificing emotional well-being/time for someone you do not know.

Obvious half-rant. This one really annoys me.

[–]slashd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

she spent £700+ to see me.

Only to scam you or did she also had other 'appointments' (potential sugar daddies) she meet behind your back?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only to see me. I doubt that she had anything like that, especially because of her age. Too, she was clingy as hell.

[–]smokingwanderer 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Read this at the right time. My ex, has of a few days ago, is one of these girls. I was the "good guy". The guy who wasn't going to hurt her. Ultimately what happened is that she felt safe to continue her hurtful life style because I wasn't going to stand up to her and tell her what she was doing was wrong. I couldn't handle it anymore and so I had to let her go.

She keeps texting me all this bs about how she's so hurt and wants me back, and I almost fell into the impulse of texting her back and saying we could talk.

Nope. She's got to learn to become a better person on her own.

[–]qiang_shi -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

Do you also think that contacting you demonstrates apathy towards making those kinds of improvements.

[–]smokingwanderer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No. We've talked about this before. She changed for a week, and was right back to where she was.

[–]rpscrote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and that's how its always going to go. Women capable of constructive self reflection are so rare as to not exist, and even then like most human beings, she will need tragedy and pain to shock her into action.

So maybe, in some tiny fraction of cases, you can take a girl back when the stars align and its the Winter solstice and she texted you whilst you were performing druidic rituals at Stonehenge. But in the real world, they go back to their same old shit time and time again.

Smart move man.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The urge to play Captain Save-A-Ho is strong in the White Knight. He has nothing of sexual value to offer a higher SMV woman. He sees his ability to provision and protect a downtrodden woman as a means with which he can secure her affection. After all, it sounds like a mutually beneficial trade -- she gets taken care of financially and physically, he gets taken care of emotionally.

It's one of those cases where intuition is completely wrong. If she is not attracted to you, it doesn't matter how great your utility is to her. You will only ever be a BB. This is the nature of the Invisible Men that Rollo wrote about just the other day.

[–]YaBoiTibzz 17 points18 points  (0 children)

They don't really want to be "saved." They love getting fucked by bad boys and other alphas. They know it's bad for them. They just can't help themselves. It doesn't matter what they say. At the end of the day they will need their fix again.

You don't associate with heroin addicts, homeless and other such self-destructive people. You stay the fuck away. Don't make an exception for women. Fuck her if you can. If you can't stay the fuck away. It isn't your problem.

[–]anti_erection_man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This needs to be written on a great stone and put in every city and town. IF ONLY.. I learned this before I made my mistakes.

[–]1Jaereth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

After I ingested the RP so to speak years ago, it was like I was drunk with this new power to actually go out and fuck a substantial number of women. That being said, I made a few mistakes when I was just starting out that tend to always (in my experience) lead to unpleasantness.

So let me sum up my experience for you. If you really got it down, and are out there working for yourself, and you don't have any kids, there's NO reason for you to be fucking with women that do. No reason what so ever.

And guess what, even if you do have kids, there's STILL no reason to be fucking around with women who do.

It always sucks. Always. You are going to have some kid that's not yours to constantly either play daddy with or be the distant asshole. Also, that kids daddy will be creeping around somewhere in the wings, I guarantee it. And finally, there's always a reason she's in this situation. Always. Take a good minute and think about that.

No, just skip the bullshit and go to the good stuff right away. Only date women who are single, child-free and are actually successful in their own lives. You may have to change your scene a bit to find them, but it's so worth it in the end. They just get it. With these type of women, it never seems to be a big deal when you want to drop a plate. And, which woman do you think is going to be less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy? The 24 year old girl with no kids, or the 24 year old cigarette mom who has 3 already?

[–]Kinnewho42 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Women will use the power of the pussy to manipulate any situation which they will receive benefit. A low value male that falls for these manipulation techniques becomes a pawn she may use to attain anything she wants. The ploy of "damsel in distress" attracts all the white knights with everything to give, hoping to be graced with sexual/emotional favors.

[–]therock6658 5 points6 points  (0 children)

LoL. I've met plenty of women like this. Their attitudes are always like "I'm a victim in all this. BUY ME SHIT YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SHITLORD!" I told the last chick that gave me this sob story to fuck off as she was telling it to me. It's a blatant manipulation tactic that seldom works, especially if it's true that so many men left her before. Funniest part is that last girl claimed that she changed herself from being a bad girl to a nice girl, all while telling me to buy her something. Watch out when they approach you first fellas, that's one of the big red flags right there.

[–]bigdredpill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wish someone would have put it to me like this. The girl I thought I loved has a kid and does drugs and happens to be crazy. So glad I cut off all contact but I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I let it go on for as long as it did, especially without fucking her

[–]AnarchyBurger101 9 points10 points  (0 children)

lol! I have the misfortune to be a landlord, and have rented to a few extra "special" females. Granted, these girls were raised up as white/mexican trash, but still.

Without fail, it works like some kind of script. Single female 2-3 kids, credit looks ok, criminal some weed possession/drunk disorderly(minor shit)5-6 years in the past, good job income wise, etc. They're in maybe 2-3 months, and shit spirals out of control. The parade of boyfriends starts moving in. Literally, 3-6 guys inside of an hour. Maintenance guys complain the apartment smells like a whorehouse...

WTFE, they pay their rent, let em fuck the whole county. Next up, they lose their job. County aid vouchers, next thing 2-3 roomates are receiving various notices (7 day to cure, 3 day pay up or get out, and the occasional cops called, assault documented 3 days to GTFO(clear and present danger) and the one on the lease ain't signing the summons. "Oh, she's in jail for a few weeks". (process server can give you the FED in jail, I don't care)

3 evictions each month, roughly the same story for 5 months. Most of em were the old landlords "problem children", some of em were because I was gambling, because the apartment still reeked of the last whore living there. :D

So, yeah, recently have been "nexting" applicants like that and unloading them on other apartment complexes. "Hey, they got a special 5 blocks down the road! No pet deposits for children under 5!" I can't technically not run their app if they come in and pay the fee, but I usually drop hints. "Yeah, the last girl who came in, 3 kids, mid 20s, good job, 5 FELONIES in the last 3 years, $15,000 in credit debt, 4 evictions, 2 restraining orders. WTF were they thinking? Maybe she can get into a former meth lab apartment, but otherwise.... She might be better seeing if the can get her old cell back in this town!"

Yeah, usually drop that kind of line on the ones who just radiate stupid. They talk about how they don't need to pay no pet fee because they got a "companion animal" that just happens to be a boxer/pit mix. lol! Ok, your credit is 460, guess you and your "companion animal" and 3 deadbeat boyfriends are gonna have to stay in the trailer park.

Granted, I can refuse em even if they have a weed possession charge that's 10 years old, or a light bill(or other bill) collection that's 8 years old. Yeah babe, if you're so f'ing stupid that you're explaining to me how you don't have to follow the rules before you even have seen the apartment, you're gonna lose. So many many dumb girls.

Yeah, I'll take my chances on the bagger boy working his way through college who barely makes enough, and has a 560 credit score rather than another slut with 2-3 puppies before they're even 24! muahaha!

Where's my Snidely Whiplash hat?

[–]Mac2TheFuture 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been waiting for this post. Every time I see/hear a girl on this site, or even out in the real world talk about her "crazy ex's" who used to mentally and physically abuse her, literally the only thing I can think of is 'well what the hell kind of person are you to continue to get caught up in these "abusive" relationships?' The claim stays true: these girls (not all girls) like to be treated this way, maybe not consciously, but definitely subconsciously. It's not just a coincidence they can't find a boyfriend who doesn't hit them (with fists or words); it's her choice of man and what she looks for in a partner. My personal theory is that being a victim of domestic violence makes them feel helpless (in a good way), and that they are fulfilling their lifelong dream of becoming the stereotypical woman who always needs a man (taught to them subconsciously through Disney movies and Barbie dolls). They are in need of a man so much that not even abuse would tear them apart. It sounds like a horror story to most of us guys, but many women will even admit that one of their [sexual] fantasies is for a man to "have their way with them".

[–]filthycreep 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That sure is over-complicating it. The only thing that needs to be said about getting involved with women like that is that "They are not yet emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship that can succeed."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maturity is a nicer way to put it. Ignorance affects us all. When they start adamantly fighting you at every turn, take off. Just got out of one of these.

[–]farkwadian 8 points9 points  (2 children)

[–]zardfizzlebeef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

damnit, I also thought of this by seeing the title

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Save her? I'll save myself from her instead ;)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not tryin' to save you hoes'n

How come when I was broke you wasn't brown nosin'?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with OP. I learnt the hard way.

When I had a similar situation occur about wanting to save a girl, after I was done I said to myself.. "I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN DR. DRE AND SNOOP DOGGS ADVICE ABOUT THESE HOES!!!!!"

[–]neveragoodtime 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Keep in mind, this is a woman who is actually bragging to you about what an easily manipulated pump and dump target she is. Of course she is going to attract more men looking to pump and dump her, like bees to honey. Would you be telling a girl of interest how you got hustled in pool like a chump, and how you got beat up by your own best friend? She thinks bad things just happen to her, so how can she take steps to change herself to reduce the chances of them happening again? No self improvement without personal responsibility.

[–]YOU_ARE_A_TOY 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Pro tip from a female: A quick way of spotting the type of girl mentioned here? Look for the girl who says "I don't have a lot of female friends" or "Girls never really like me." RUN.

Any self assured, smart, educated woman who has her shit together knows how to be friends with other confident women. Women who need to cling to a guy drive those smart women away and play the "I don't know why they don't like me!" card.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So this girl keeps telling you stories about all these shitty guys she keeps dating. Guys who manipulate her emotionally. Guys who fuck her and then don't call her back. Sometimes even guys who hit her.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg "Well stop it!"

[–]massiveburrito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You listen to j cole? Its in the chorus of "no role models" from forrest hills drive

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After reading the 4th paragraph one can assume that women are terrible decision makers hence, they lacked any and all decision making power prior to the 20th century.

[–]Smekiz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For what it's worth, this applies to women on dating fuckheads as well. Some people may be socially talented, handsome etc etc, but somehow they are mentally retarded when it comes to decision making skills, and just generally not making bad decisions.

50SoG is a perfect example actually. Women love it, and it's basically the fairytale story of how if a woman sticks through an abusive relationship the guy will eventually change, and stop wanting to hurt her. Fairytales used to have a hell of a fucking lot better morals.

[–]Cern_Stormrunner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh god. I wish i had read this 4 years ago.

[–]seattleron 2 points2 points [recovered]

Can't believe no one linked [this] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGobXsmPx78) yet, unless I missed it.

Project Pat knows what's up, listen to him.

[–]1NPIF 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You definitely missed it being posted 2 or 3 times already in this thread

[–]rossiFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you reading this, guys? Really fucking reading it? Yah? Then read it again. Commit it to memory. This is not a fucking game.


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What happens when you realize she was full of shit about all her stories of being abused and is actually bat-shit crazy and starts accusing you?

Worst mistake I ever made. These women who are borderline fuck ups are genuinely the worst kinds of people imaginable. They'll manipulate you, abuse you, make you feel terrible, and then make you feel like it's your fault. Of course you can't ever leave them (/s), they've made it abundantly clear if you do they'll kill themselves.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What happens when you realize she was full of shit about all her stories of being abused and is actually bat-shit crazy and starts accusing you?


Don't put yourself in these types of situations. Women who are like this do not want to be saved. They want to continue behaving like children and riding the carousel.

Feel bad for her kids, but don't let her drag you into her nightmare of drama and insanity.

[–]romankov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there ever a situation where a woman can be "saved"?

[–]slcjosh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Captain Save A Hoe is a great Halloween costume if you're in a pinch and don't wanna spend tons of money.

[–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (1 child)

An ex of mine told me that men complain and hope to receive advice to help them. Women complain just to complain. They don't actually want your help...

There's a song by a rapper named J.Cole. I forgot the name of it, but the lyrics for the hook are, "Don't save her! She don't wanna be saved. Don't save her! She don't wanna be saved."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I agree with you completely, but feel the need to clarify the child support issue. It is not that easy to be hit with child support obligations (most outrageous cases of c.s. are where the alleged father didn't respond the the allegations, despite notice of them, the court entered a default judgement against the man and, again, provided him notice and the man still did not appeal the judgment until after all time limits allowing him to challenge said judgement has expired). Taking on a "fatherly role" does not mean being an adult male influence on a child. It means one has clearly and consistently demonstrated the intent to occupy the father's role in the child's life in all the ways that role is understood. You must clearly intend yourself to be the father despite the absence of biological paternity.

[–]kevkos 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Agreed +5. Don't do it. NEXT these women quickly and let them go. No reason to try to change or save anyone.

Still....also have a little empathy. Don't date craziness but also I think it's good for everyone to empathize with them. I think many guys swing too far one way or another. It's either FUCK HER or I WANT TO FUCK HER.

Let's find a healthier way to deal with these women. Give them empathy and don't get involved.

[–]drkstrs 2 points2 points [recovered]

they feed off of empathy. what they need is someone to just say. you are a fucking mess and our association is at an end. maybe that will work eventually rather yet one more idiot saying "you poor little thing".

[–]kevkos 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I guess you don't know what empathy means. It's NOT sympathy. It's simply understanding (or trying to understand) the struggles of another. Women are human and have struggles, even ones that are 10/10 on the looks scale. You can't change or save them but you can certainly have empathy and treat them as human.

Otherwise, your life is going to be pretty difficult and angry.

[–]drkstrs 2 points2 points [recovered]

Just make sure your "empathy" doesnt get you burned for a sucker. I used to think this way but I got burned for it. Read the writing on the wall. What makes you so special in her abuse of basic life responsibilities? Nothing. You are expendable. Been there done that. Won't be doing it again.

[–]kevkos 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sorry you got burned. Empathy does not mean things will work out for you, or that the other person will receive or appreciate your empathy. Empathy is about YOU, and your mental health.

Giving empathy to people allows you to live peacefully. Sometimes the other person will see this and want to give empathy back. Win-win. But yes other times they can still do you wrong. Empathy doesn't mean approval, and it is not a strategy to change people or to get in girls' pants.

Think about it next time you have a conflict. Either with a man or woman.

Just picture the feeling of:

  1. Letting their bad behavior get to you. Do you feel angry about it?
  2. Wanting to change them. Do you feel frustrated by this idea?
  3. Punishing them. Does seeing them suffer really make you happy?

Then consider the empathy route. Just put yourself in their shoes. Are they purposely trying to make things difficult for you? Is it possible they are just trying to get their needs met, albeit in an unhealthy way?

I'm not trying to preach to you, but this way of thinking has really changed my life for the better, in dealing with women and controversy overall.

[–]Traz_Onmale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Implying a relationship with you saves her.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wants to fix you she can feel special, important, needed.

you trying to save her from her problems makes her feel damaged and flawed which she is and which she wants you to acknowledge but never try and fix

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This can also apply to girls who have had emotional abuse from parents. That's an even bigger "nope."

[–]StillRedder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this girl keeps telling you stories about all these shitty guys she keeps dating.

This is the point at which I no longer care to care about what's going on in her life.

If she provides zero value to me, socially or otherwise, I would slowly distance myself from her. Now, if she's got hot friends then I might consider listening to her sob stories while continuing to escelate with them. (A small price to pay, IMO.)

I like that this post reinforces some of the red-flag awareness we all need and sometimes forget.

[–]thechairinfront 0 points1 point  (4 children)

how long before you "take on a fatherly role" as the state would put it, and she can hit you up for child support?

Genuinely curious, Is there any articles or evidence to support that this is happening?

[–]1NPIF 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Case in which a man was forced to pay child support for a child that was proven not to be his: http://www.nlrg.com/family-law-legal-research/bid/76872/FAMILY-LAW-Paternity-by-Estoppel-Enforced-When-in-Best-Interests-of-Child

This wiki page has plenty of cited, documented cases of paternity fraud: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud

To more directly answer your question. Yes, and governments have tried to collect with a fervor. See Child Support Enforcement Amendments of 1984, P.L. 98-378, Section 18 as codified at 42 U.S.C. sec. 667.

A judge may make you pay child support not because of your legal status but because of your behavior. The judge is following the "equitable doctrine of estoppel." Estoppel is a legal principle which, because of a person's previous act of conduct or omission, does not allow that person to assert a legal right.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Estopple only applies when a man, knowing he is not, or might not be, the father, induces a woman or the system to allow him to be the father of the child. For example, a boy friend and girlfriend breakup, she has a ons, they get back together and find out she is pregnant. He doesn't want to dump her and instead says he wants to be a family irregardless of the paternity. As a result she does nothing to establish paternity, including not allowing the child to establish a bond with its real father during its early formative years. 10 years later they get divorced. He dissavowes paternity. Estopple applies because he knew and created the situation.

As an interesting side note and an example of double standards regarding c.s. people never seems to see, if a man knowingly creates a situation he can be held singlely responsible, see the above example. If a woman does, say by having a child with man she knows can't afford,a child and without that man knowing she intends to get pregnant, guess what, she sure as hell is not singlely responsible.

[–]thechairinfront 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The first case was one of a man who was married to a woman and during which time she had a child. The child was born knowing no other father.

I'm talking about if you walk into some womans life and she already has a toddler or kid. Because that is what the comment implied.

[–]Surf_Or_Die 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get it. Even at the peak of my betaness my brain screamed abort in these cases.

[–]ChocolateBull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do know that this post title is a rap song by 3 Six Mafia right?


[–]Kelly_Gruber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Your natural response is probably going to feel like you need to protect her from this injustice"

Lol nah

[–]420POWER 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title reminded of J. Cole "role modelz". Chorus: Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved, don't save her, she don't wanna be saved

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]Killigraphy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved" - J.Cole - Role Modelz.

[–]whataboutudummy -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I was with you until you said you wouldn't try to help a friend.

[–]Troll-Warlord -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They are not yet emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship that can succeed.

Right, it is like pedophilia but worse.