“Women sleep with who they want. Men sleep with who they can.”

LadyZoogle · 2018-09-07T17:21:52+00:00

I’ve been having trouble with this topic lately. I think it’s disgusting to see the ugly, low value women my man has had sex with. I know it’s bad and kinda against RP guidelines but it makes me less attracted to him knowing he’s slept with that many women and women below what I feel should have been his standards. Idk. It makes me feel like he’s been all used up/a chewed up piece of gum.

oldflowers · 2018-09-07T16:52:00+00:00

I don't like the current culture that has tried to socially devalue sex. It was meant to be a very purposeful and risky action: you are potentially having children this way and you could contract an STD if you choose the wrong partner.

This glorification of n-count for women is foolish, but it is for men as well in my opinion because that reduces the value of the women in their lives.

BooksAndCatsAnd · 2018-09-07T16:44:45+00:00

My husband’s friends have a system where they rate (mostly jokingly) any given woman from 0-5.

0: no matter what, would not sleep with (disgusting junkie or something)

1: would do her, but you’d take the secret to your grave because it’s embarrassing

2: do her for the story (waitress at a restaurant wanted me so bad I did her in the walk in even though she was gross)

3: average girl you’d say yes to

4: your girlfriend/wife - amazing girl you’re thrilled to have locked down

5: someone you’d screw your whole life up to screw (Victoria’s Secret model or something wants to bone)

Notice this is pretty much: I will say yes to everyone except those who are so disgusting I literally can’t physically do it? And for those who are incredibly amazing I’d joke about messing my life up to do them? This is how most guys think.

Rob345678 · 2018-09-07T17:17:57+00:00

That’s is correct. But men commit/marry to who they want and women commit/marry who they can..if they even can.

Men are the controllers of commitment .

Women are the controllers of sex.

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-09-07T20:13:17+00:00

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Canadeaan · 2018-09-07T16:47:09+00:00

statistics show only 40% of men will have offspring, conversely 80% of women will have offspring.

average and below average men (in congregate, not just looks) are simply undesirable and are men that just get settled on sometimes, ie; the man that does absolutely nothing to stand out with average looks.

But, there are two mating strategies, the all eggs in one basket; or the one egg in as many baskets as possible.

one partner, few children full investment

multiple partners, many children, minimal investment.

The latter requires willing participants of both sexes. so when there's women willing there will often be the few men filling that position. hence the 40/80 ratio (but at its pinnacle its one guy being shared with dozens of women). children reered by this method tend to repeat similar patterns of mating, it produces more people than the first method, and it will flood the dating world with poor candidates for one partner few children method of reproduction.

Blackhawk2479 · 2018-09-07T16:41:42+00:00

It’s evolutionary biology on a couple of levels:

men are very visual and thus find it much easier to be attracted and aroused
the stakes are much, much lower for men, and the consequences far less severe for having many sex partners.

Being more selective as a woman is natural.

JJ3314 · 2018-09-07T17:43:27+00:00

Mixed thoughts on this:

I think the quote contains some measure of exaggeration in that it seems to imply that a man can't genuinely bed a woman he wants to sleep with. I think the overall point, though, is that women tend to be in a stronger position to select a genuinely desirable person to sleep with, whereas it's a bit more hit or miss with men.

It also suggests, as you point out, that a higher percentage of the time a woman will genuinely want that person for something more than sex, whereas with men the percentages are likely lower--he may want to spend the rest of his life with her, or she may mean absolutely nothing to him.

Additionally the stronger the interest the man has in the woman, the less he will feel a sense of outcome independence regarding her returning his affections. This can unfortunately make him seem less confident in her eyes, and potentially compromise the development of a relationship. I observe that many women seem to write off men as not being "alpha" enough rather prematurely, and I think this results in selecting a higher percentage of men that legitimately are not interested in them, but are merely interested in a pump and dump. Hypergamy, when not constrained by reason, can be damaging on a personal and social level.

Lastly I think it would be a mistake for you to conclude from this statement that men are incapable of intense and prolonged romantic feelings for a woman. I think it's simply less likely that those feelings depend on a sexual relationship. In fact, my suspicion is that more men than women may be apt to develop strong feelings even in the absence of a sexual relationship, which is why I typically advise men to avoid pointless platonic relationships with women that they are really romantically attracted to. Nothing good can come of it if she does not demonstrate an interest in being his lover as well as his friend. Just like I think it's mentally healthier for women (and their future marriages) to avoid becoming someone's plate, I think it's mentally healthier for men to avoid becoming someone's platonic orbiter.

JJ3314 · 2018-09-07T18:29:05+00:00

"This is one of the hardest red pills I’ve had to swallow. For me, it takes a LOT to be sexually attracted to a guy."

I hope you understand that this statement of yours is actually a difficult RP--maybe the most difficult--for many men to swallow. Because what this basically means is that in a promiscuous society--if every woman feels the same way you do--women will only go after guys that are "out of their league." This means that if you are a young guy, and you are a decent person, but only a 6/10 in looks, a 6/10 woman in her prime will likely reject you in favor of getting pumped and dumped by men who are 8/10 and higher. To many men, this setup seems grossly unfair--it has nothing to do with feeling entitled to sex, it's the fact that these women give off the impression that he is beneath them on some fundamental level, which he knows is not the case--not that there is simply a lack of compatibility.

Furthermore, consider that these men are getting the shiv at a time in their lives when the desire to pair bond with a woman is at its strongest. I know to you, based on your experience, it is perhaps hard to believe that men can feel immense romantic attraction for a woman, but I caution you against thinking that only women can have their heart's seriously broken. That is far from the truth. It's just that men and women may be vulnerable to feeling this way in somewhat different contexts.

A man who repeatedly experiences this dynamic with women throughout his late teens and twenties may experience rage when he swallows this pill, at the perceived unfairness of this social dynamic. Add to that the phenomenon of women (and some men) mocking him for being less attractive than these top men.

The misery associated with this aspect of male-female dynamics cuts both ways.

xeroblaze0 · 2018-09-07T17:08:05+00:00

All she really needs to be is NOT hideous and interested.

As a guy it really is such a low, low bar for women.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-09-07T16:15:32+00:00

Pity the women who have been raised to think that a high N-count is just fine, or even an accomplishment. Hint: it isn't. But the equality feminism brainwashing continues undaunted.

And those girls end up either single mothers or post-wall in sad relationships, or cooking for their cats. I can't blame them, though. Society from birth has been feeding them lies.

Wolfssenger · 2018-09-07T18:57:20+00:00

"Sex is meaningless to them"

This is not quite correct. Sex is very meaningful, perhaps the most meaningful thing in the world. It is an affirmation of our worth and place in the hierarchy of men. It's our droving force. What is meaningless to us is a woman's emotions afterwards. Unless men are made to develop a connection, leaving is as easy as not responding, given we have confidence we'll find another broad to sucker.

I'm not saying this is the way it should be, however being reserved and oriented towards building a firm relationship with a man you can admire and let lead should be the priority if you seek not to fall victim to this cycle.

WillMeatLover · 2018-09-07T23:59:15+00:00

This is an extreme view I see on TRP as well. Yes, men and women are different, but no, neither is alien.

Men can tolerate higher n counts without immediately obliterating their ability to pair bond, but it doesn't mean they're untouchable.

Women are milk, but men are not wine. They're cheese.

It's definitely wrong to think that any guy who is interested in you is "in love" with you, but leaping to the opposite extreme is just as foolish. People do have a predictable human nature, but that still gives you a fairly complicated spectrum to deal with.

Guys who care about literally nothing but their n count will probably never become family men. At most, they will accidentally have a child out of wedlock with a hideous beast.

ThatKidinAfrica · 2018-09-07T16:34:27+00:00

It's great that you have realised this but also know this: "The higher the SMV of a Man, Higher the attractiveness of the girl he sleeps with needs to be".

2018-09-09T15:16:25+00:00

Men will sleep with hideous women, they just don't brag about it, or draw attention to the fact that the woman isn't at all attractive. They'll either try and big the woman up, if they are in a public relationship with her, or not talk about their encounter. People like to think that they are better than they actually are.

Fewer and fewer men are seeking marriage and a family. I don't think this is a problem that is unique to you. Even young, attractive women are finding it harder to pin down a husband nowadays. Many will at least get caught in the trap of serial monogamy, where men will move in and the woman will play the wife but when it comes to the crunch things will never progress to the marriage and kids stage.

Ramp_Up_Then_Dump · 2018-09-07T17:41:39+00:00

Tittle have pure r/trp feeling.

BP guys feel sex as how OP desctibed it. At least i was like that.

I want to add some thing, acording to a research(saw it at Jordan peterson's video) youth+weight+beauty contribute 0.9 points in to female SMW. Total is 1 so %90 value is on surface of women acording to that research.

aussiedollface2 · 2018-09-10T22:18:26+00:00

Thanks for the post, I really wish I could show this to one of my friends who has set her relationship bar at the height that reflects the men she’s had casual sex with. I really think women do themselves zero favours by taking part in the whole casual sex scene xo

stacysmom40 · 2018-09-08T03:11:30+00:00

I guess the part I’m still struggling with at this point - and I’m pretty RP - is the assumption that women don’t enjoy sex.

Like... maybe I’m not ready to be serious... I just want an orgasm. Is that not okay because I have a vagina?

Both of the men I ended up marrying started out as one night stands. I would have been A OK if that one night was where it ended.

Just to be clear, I was super BP during marriage 1. I was super BP until 2 years in to marriage 2. I’m currently 4 years into marriage 2.

Yes. In both cases I slept with who I wanted THAT NIGHT. These guys decided I was the person/pussy they wanted FOREVER. After we had already had sex. After they knew I wasn’t playing them for commitment. After they knew I was just genuinely attracted to them. After they knew I was a sexual being who enjoys an orgasm as much as the next guy.

I know my viewpoint is probably all wrong for RP, but I think it’s ok to enjoy sex with a man as long as you don’t immediately expect anything. The sex is the sex. The relationship is something else.

_infinite_Thoughts · 2018-10-13T02:00:53+00:00

Not the case for every man....

kartu3 · 2018-09-12T07:42:09+00:00

OKCUPID (blog entry was brought down by nazi types because it contradicts some mainstream lie, but still to be found in archive) once found out whopping 85% of males are rated "below average". Males, on the other hand, found 85% of girls attractive or very attractive.

Now, OKCUPID population doesn't necessarily perfectly represent population in general, but it gives us a hint.

Given how we reproduce it makes perfect sense for women to actively look for the best.

In one of the scandinavian countries they have found out that number of childless men nearly doubled (to nearly a quarter) over recent couple of decades, while number of childless women increased by only a couple of percent.

Basically women are sorting out males with better genes and mate with them.

Harsh of course, but it has been worse in the past, at some times in Egypt male to female ancestors ratio was 1 to 14.

Overall for all humans across all times it is 1 male ancestor per 2 female ancestors.

I think society is also trained to hate the men on who are on the bottom of the social pyramid, else I cannot explain the hate for incels or why someone could in all seriousness raise "1 in 4 homeless is a woman!!!" alarm.

Realistic_Net_5428 · 2022-03-22T05:25:36+00:00

If women really sleep with who they want why do they still complain about it? Seems like a lot of men are willing to sleep with a woman so a woman choses from those men that approach him its not like women are outhere in large numbers going after the men they want if anything women believe they have to wait the men will come to them.. That doesn't sound active so that statement is lacking