Rapper Ludacris wins custody over his daughter and receives child support from ex! (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by yesidoes

[–]kiladubz 106 points107 points  (11 children)

Sorry to break it to you: ABOUT THE NEWS NERD

The stories posted on TheNewsNerd are for entertainment purposes only. The stories may mimic articles found in the headlines, but rest assured they are purely satirical

[–]Senior ContributorRedPope 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Yep. We've been trolled, guys.

Good job, /u/yesidoes -- ya got us!

[–]yesidoes[S] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

You're giving me way too much credit, I was trolled along with all of you!

Swagzor, Koncept61, and Kiladubz, and anyone else who caught this, thank you for using a critical eye!

[–]Senior ContributorRedPope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool, no worries. May want to edit your post to mention possible hoax.

[–]koncept61 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, my eye was not critical. After seeing it was satire I just googled it. Found there was some truth lol

[–]ThatSonOfAGun 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Actually, this sends a stronger message than what OP originally intended.

It says a lot that the only time we hear of a man's child support and custody victory is from a satire article. For me, this is just a another reminder of what we are up against. Stay sharp, everybody.

[–]Soriq 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Nope, it's on people magazine, link posted by koncept61 below


[–]Senior ContributorRedPope 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Wouldn't be first time a mainstream gossip magazine got suckered by the Internet. I'm staying skeptical.

[–]theredpillager 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The People article is from January. The newsnerd article was dated March 1.

[–]rokr1292 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was about to say, how did he manage to get her to pay child support with the amount he makes. satire makes sense.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 52 points53 points  (5 children)

Ludacris is also fucking loaded (according to the article he has $25M in the bank), and I'm sure he could afford much higher-powered attorneys than she could afford. This is definitely the exception that proves the rule, gentlemen. Never believe a woman over 28 who says she's on the pill. Baby Rabies is a thing.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Never believe a woman over 28 who says she's on the pill. Baby Rabies is a thing.

With you all the way. Girls in their prime will try to lock down a high value guy STAT and pull an oopsie regardless of age if his value is significantly higher than hers (eg: she's working class, he's rich.) So if you're not loaded you probably don't need to worry about younger girls pulling oopsies, but if you are, or even if you just have a high status job (doctor/lawyer/judge) her eyes will fill with dollar signs and she won't want to "pass you up." As always, be vigilant gentlemen. Building SMV comes with an increased need to exercise Machiavellianism and protect what you've achieved for yourself.

[–]yesidoes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This provides us all with a good life lesson.

Make so much motherfucking money that when some psycho bitch does try to take it from you, you stand a fighting chance.

[–]ayeswideschutt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Men (and people generally) who have resources have much better outcomes in court. Money won't always win the day for you, but lack of money can seriously hamper your ability to show your side to the court. This case is not scalable to the general population.

[–]New_Horiz0ns -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

From my knowledge, in square relationships, the woman ussualy has a better lawyer because the woman is aware of higher likelyhood of winning & is therefore not concerned with legal fees which will be covered by the husband anyway.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true amongst common folk. It's the same concept behind slip and fall lawyers, they will take a case with no cash upfront if they think it's a slam dunk lawsuit. But the rules change for millionaires. No matter how good her lawyer was, I guarantee Ludacris' was better.

[–]fadetoblack1004 35 points36 points  (9 children)

Good for Luda. Bet he paid that lawyer bank, though... damn well worth it when the bitch wanted $180k a year to raise his kid though!

[–]yesidoes[S] 28 points29 points  (8 children)

If she did win, she had better be packing the daughter truffle and kobe beef burritos wrapped in gold foil for lunch at school.

[–]fadetoblack1004 4 points5 points  (7 children)

I don't even think that would begin to cover the full $180k.

[–]Tajikistan 15 points16 points  (4 children)

You'd be surprised how much money women can piss in pursuit of their image. If you think your girl's creams and lotions are expensive just imagine what people spend when their prosperity depends on looking like superficial shit. Surprisingly I've noticed that alot of these people look like shit as they age. Meanwhile men tend to age better. Kind of makes you wonder if all the effort is worth it in the end.

[–]dogellionaire 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Men age like wine. Women age like milk.

[–]fadetoblack1004 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's not what child support is for... now I realize that in reality, a good chunk of exorbitantly large child support payments go elsewhere, but my point is more that $18k is ridiculous. A nice house, a decent private school, food, extracurriculars, and transportation can be had for $5k a month, max.

I'd really like to know where they got the $18k they were requesting from.

[–]pl231 3 points3 points [recovered]

it comes from replacing your previous standard of living

[–]ElKod -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I fully thought you were gonna say "I don't even think that would be nutritious"..

[–]GREF_[🍰] 62 points63 points  (7 children)

Link didn't work for me so here: http://www.thenewsnerd.com/music/ludacris-awarded-2000-child-support/

Awesome. I think if enough men opt out of marriage and family the judicial system will see it and change its ways if it knows why.

She's paying him two grand a month! Wow lol. I wonder what she does for a living other than randomly fucking any rich nigga she can find.

[–]Swagzor 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Downvoted post because below their home page:

The stories posted on TheNewsNerd are for entertainment purposes only. The stories may mimic articles found in the headlines, but rest assured they are purely satirical.

[–]koncept61 4 points5 points  (2 children)


A more reputable link. Doesn't discuss money, but he did win

[–]ludabot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

C'mon! we gon party tonight

Y'all use mouth to mouth bring the party to life

Don't be scurred, show another part of your life

The more drinks in your system the harder to fight!

[–]yesidoes[S] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Fixed the link, thanks man.

I was really astonished and elated when I saw that for her attempt to grab 180K a year from Luda she was awarded the right to PAY 24K!

Edit: I got tricked, she didn't have to pay anything.

[–]ECoast_Man -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Finally.

Child support payments are a function of the income of the secondary custody parent, not the primary custody parent. Thus, this shouldn't even be uncommon... Oh wait, it is actually rare? Rarer than the California Condor. Why would that be, I wonder?

[–]zxsteven 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I remember hearing something like, no matter where he was in the world, he never went more than 2 weeks without seeing his child.

For all we know, he was actually checking up on the girl to make sure she wasn't fucking off his money or had another guy.

[–]VernonMaxwell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think everyone here knows that the man doesn't "always" lose. But its that its so unbalanced. It probably helped him that he probably had a damn good lawyer. Yea, there are cases where non-rich men when custody cases, but I guarantee you its most likely if the woman is proven to be a bad mother. Otherwise, the woman is just going to win, for the most part.

[–]surfjihad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait is this serious or satire?

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not child support, but alimony.

She foolishly thought she'd kick me when I'm down and divorce me when the economy was bad and I had just lost my 6 figure job.

"Yeah hon... that's what alimony is for, to protect the financially disadvantaged one, you still have YOUR six figure job... in fact, we had no problems with money, you're just greedy. And now you owe me a lot of money... you would have saved money had you just stayed true to your vows."

[–]spartan1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even though it's fake, 15k a month is chump change compared to what others have had to pay in child support, or alimony, Brendan Fraser comes to mind.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (9 children)

Great post glad to see other people finding positive stuff.

However if this post doesn't get down voted I'd be shocked. Shit is straight doom and gloom around here most of the time.

[–]nineteenseventy 1 point2 points  (7 children)

For a good reason. If this sub was flooded with feel good stories of the underdog winning in an uphill battle against the man, everyone would get complacent and remain where they are at. Not to mention 99% of reddit is feel good stories and articles.

Instead hearing the doom and gloom of the world spurs you into making yourself a better person, by improving yourself and focusing on your goals in life.

[–]yesidoes[S] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

I definitely agree that negative feedback can be more motivating than positive feedback.

I do also think it is good to look at the good times and successes to see that all is not lost, and our efforts are not futile.

[–]nineteenseventy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reddit is 99% positive feedback which only enables lazy people to keep procrastinating and to keep blaming problems on themselves. TRP is one the few places of negative feedback because it aligns with the goals of TRP: Don't rest on your laurels.

Candy is good once in a while, not in excess.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

No, it spurs YOU to do that. Not me and I would guess not most.

[–]nineteenseventy -1 points0 points  (3 children)

You may think so, but think about the reason why you pursue reading feel good stories as opposed to getting out there and improving yourself? It's a shortcut to feeling good without the effort. Same concept with drugs, you can either fix your life problems, or ignore them with feel good drugs.

Again not saying positive stories aren't good, but with most of reddit being 99% positive stuff, it's refreshing and needed for TRP to contrast, even a bit sharply the negative stories just so you remain in touch with what's real and important.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Then me and you are two different people, because all negativity brings to me is more negativity

[–]yesidoes[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Law 10

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then me and you are two different people, because all negativity brings to me is more negativity

[–]MightyTaint 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like how you're the doom and gloom of this not doom and gloom story.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

$180k per year to raise a single kid? Dare I say, that's...ludicrous.

I can't tell what's more shocking, that she asked for that much or that the judge saw through it and actually flipped the custody decision. $4k/month in child support would still be a crazy high amount, more than a huge number of people make in their jobs each year., and yet it's only about a quarter of her request. Unbelievable.

Good on that judge.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Dude his ex is bangin'. I would love a night with her. But you can totally tell she is a gold digging whore. She got with him when he was a rapper and kinda thug style about him. Plus he was making bank. Now, he is just a business owner who plays parts in some movies. Not as exciting for her, I guess. So, she wants his beta money and wants to go find another bad boy.

Fucking sluts.

[–]1Dev_on -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

What's the lesson?

Gossip is for women

[–]zpatriarchy -1 points0 points  (1 child)

the lesson is you have to keep fighting for what you want. even the justice system. even rich men.

[–]1Dev_on -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's shit and you know it

[–]Tarnsman4Life -1 points0 points  (0 children)

HAH! Can't turn a ho into a house wife but there is something deeply satisfying about this win.

[–]MrCopacetic -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What a lucky guy. What if his ex has reasonable child support claims, like say $2000-$2500 per month? He'd probably be paying. The ex claiming $15,000 sent up a red flag that the judge thankfully realized, but this is a dodged bullet.

Pleas read the article before you downvote

[–]RELTIH88 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Good to see some good news for once. Happy for Ludacris.

[–]ludabot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Move over! Luda got something to say

Do it now cause 'tomorrow' ain't promised 'today'

Work wit me! let's become one with the beat

And don't worry bout me steppin all over ya feet

[–]WayofTheOlympian -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That is crazy lol thank you for sharing.