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TRP vs shit tests is working splendidly. (self.ThankTRP)

submitted by [deleted]

I swallowed the red pill about 3 months ago. I'm 3 years into a second marriage (I get steamrolled about not learning my lesson the first time, but this one has been much better).

The wife is great at keeping the house clean, making meals, keeping up with the kids, and she's great in bed (sex still at least 5 days a week). She's a registered obgyn nurse but since we moved way out in the sticks she hasn't been able to find a good nursing job, so she works part time at my parents' shop. She's also a runner and has been doing great work running 4 days a week. Now the issue with her is that her shit tests are sporadic, but very emotionally based (like most).

This morning after working my 13 hour grave shift, I crawled into bed at 9:30am, she came in kissed me goodnight and left to clean then go shopping for groceries. I fell asleep very quickly, but after 45 minutes I was woken up by her patting my chest. I was pretty deep into sleep but once I opened my eyes I saw that she was frowning and upset. She said she was mad at me still. The story was that during my brother's wedding, the weekend before, the photographer wanted pictures of the groom's family, but didn't ask for my wife or my brother's soon to be wife to be in the picture. I didn't notice until after the pictures were taken that my wife was standing off to the side upset.

I told her then that this wasn't about her, but she brought up that my mother never wants her in pictures (this is true, my mother is strange and possessive of my brother and myself). I said I understood and to drop it. But then she brings it all back up while I'm trying to get enough sleep for my next shift. Instead of getting angry and breaking frame I A&A'd her. She started to cry and walked out of the room angry. I was tempted to just fall back to sleep and let it go, but I wanted to nuke this and show her that her actions were not acceptable, so I got up, walked into the kitchen (where she was at), took the debit card out of her purse, and said that until she apologized for her behavior, that she was not going shopping, and that I was going back to bed. She just stared at me with her big blue eyes. I went back to bed and 5 minutes later she came in and apologized and made her sad face. I lol'd, gave her a big kiss, ass squeeze, and sent her off to shop with the debit card. Holding frame completely worked.

After I woke up, and before I left for work, we had a great session in bed, and I dominated her while she came hard. None of this would have been possible without the changing of my world view through the outlook of TRP, so this is just a long winded way to say thank you. :)


[–][deleted] 10 points10 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I felt that I shouldn't have, but let my guard down because I was so tired. Thank you for pointing it out though.

[–]AlmostRP2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I work weird hours (chef), and experience the same thing. She wakes me up and immediately jumps me with a shit test. "You woke me up for a fight? Lemme go use the bathroom and wash my face." Then leave, give her 5-10 to calm down and then ask her to tell you again. She was prepped for a fight and probably amped up a bit. Once you knock that away there's nothing left and she'll usually talk herself down.

It's a little Sun Tzuish... the enemy had a plan (even if she "didn't do it on purpose"), at least some part of her thought she had you in her frame. Knock her out of hers and select the battlefield yourself... it's much easier and you'll be happy.

Worst comes to worst, mirror her feelings and thoughts. You probably would've liked her in the pictures, so tell her how you felt she was wronged, too. Then move on.

Either way, you're in control and pull the strings. Once you realize that there's absolutely nothing to get mad about and that'll dissuade her from trying that kind of thing in the future.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good thoughts, I will use what you've said to work on it. It doesn't happen that often, but when it had in the past I'd get fucking pissed and lose frame, not anymore.

[–]aOs_Student2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I A&A'd her

What do you mean A&A'd her? That's a term I haven't seen yet. Could you please explain if you don't mind me asking.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agree and Amplify (usually to absurdity).

[–]aOs_Student1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh ok thanks.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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