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/r/relationships woman's husband finds out about her 15 drug-fuelled college threesomes (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by despoticVeracity

http://archive.today/5njIw (archive courtesy of SRD. Thanks guys!)

This one's a fun one.

To establish a timeline, the OP is 31, with her husband being 34. They've 'known each other' for five years (whatever that means) and been married for two. That places their marriage at when she was 29, and them 'knowing each other' when she was 26. The events of this tale occur more than ten years prior, so somewhere between 18-21.

A married woman from /r/relationships is at a friend's birthday party with her husband. Her husband, while talking to another of her female friends, discovers that she "used to engage in threesomes with [her then-boyfriend] and his male roommate. Probably 12-15 in total, but all my husband knows is that it was 'more than once'." It comes out later in the comments that these threesomes were under the influence of drugs and alcohol. It's unclear if the husband knows about that aspect.

Hubby is not happy at all. He's refusing to sleep in the same bed and is avoiding conversation. He says he feels repulsed by the sight of her.

Our heroine's view is that -- oh, fuck it. I'm just gonna quote her.

College was a totally different time in my life. I was drinking every weekend, doing recreational drugs every month, partying, having casual flings - just like everyone else at that age. It was a hedonistic "live for today" lifestyle that I thankfully grew out of. I look back on those years with a lot of regrets, and not just about my sex life. I mean, it was 10+ years ago. I'm a totally different person now.

I know I'm not a good person for keeping this from him, so please don't lecture me. It was a chapter of my life I'd thought I'd closed for good. It was my ONE secret, and I honestly debated telling him about it but came to the conclusion that no positive outcome could come from it.

Fearing a divorce over something that happened ten years ago, our heroine to pursue the advice of /r/relationships.

Now, the interesting thing is what happens next, and the mix of advice.

While, as regulars here might expect, there is a fair bit of shaming of the husband for not leaving the past in the past, there are also attempts at understanding (but not legitimising) his feelings.

People tentatively suggest that maybe her past is his business, against the common line that 'the past is the past' and that she's 'a different woman'.

The practice of hiding it is questioned, but ultimately legitimised. Peculiarly, promiscuity both exists in a state where it's nothing to be ashamed of and also acceptable to avoid mentioning. The reasoning given by some is that he never asked that specific question. Ultimately blame falls to her friend for telling him. Again, this highlights an odd disconnect. Somehow his pain at finding out about something she did is due to the informer, as opposed to the actor. Seems to be a case of shoot-the-messenger.

The top comment strikes on something interesting, suggesting that her husband's upset would be acceptable if he discovered it when other people were talking about it. In other words, it's acknowledged that being with someone promiscuous is detrimental to his reputation.

In particular, a common line of questioning by commenters is about their married sex life, thinking that he might be indignant about denied pleasures. (Answer: pretty good, but she won't let him come on her face or do anal. No word on whether the threesomes included it.)

There's even a distinctly red-pill comment that mentioned the carousel by name.

Overall, it's the /r/relationships we know and love, where the woman can do no wrong and the man should love unconditionally. But there's definitely dissent.

The RP perspective is painfully obvious. It's the usual tale of a woman riding the CC during college, then settling down with an older, established guy as she approaches the wall. OP realises that her actions signal her unsuitability, so she conceals them. This change of heart, of course, only happened later on, as the friend was well aware of her promiscuity. As the husband cranks the dread to DEFCON 1, she acknowledges her actions and tries to find the best way to avoid displeasing him further.

Hamstering is abound in the comments, as OP's situation is a stark reminder that they face the same fate. They try to convince her that she did nothing wrong and that in fact she's the victim here, of an oppressive, insecure husband. Some suggest cutting him loose entirely, while others suggest a carefully patronising apology, not for her actions or for hiding it, but for how he feels. A 'sorry you feel this way' apology.

It seems the advice can be boiled down to two different approaches, each helpfully symbolised by coloured medication.

  1. Criticise him for feeling what he does in an attempt to override his disgust at her with shame. Ideally, he'll apologise for his judgemental behaviour and go back to being a loving husband. This would, in effect, be force feeding him the blue pill.

  2. Attempt to distance herself from the actions by assuring him that she's a different person now. This is closer to taking the approach of the red pill, essentially trying to prove to him that the actions don't impinge on her current value.

The disharmony and paradoxes in the comments represent the clash of these approaches. The former argues that there's nothing wrong with what she did, whereas the second acknowledges it. OP is much more likely to take the latter approach, because her views thus far have been in-line with it, in that she feels guilt and blames the friend for telling (and thus lowering her SMV).

That's my analysis, but I'd like to hear others'.


[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 270 points271 points  (23 children)

I was drinking every weekend, doing recreational drugs every month, partying, having casual flings - just like everyone else at that age. It was a hedonistic "live for today" lifestyle that I thankfully grew out of.

Every woman imagines that she "matures" out of her cock carousel ride. This is the hamster's story-writing department hard at work.

But in reality, they are forced out by the slow, painful realization that being young and hot isn't a permanent solution to life's challenges.

Women would fuck their way out of every problem if entropy let them.

[–]Endorsed ContributorObio1 129 points130 points  (10 children)

This.

The reality is she had to stop.

But it's also ridiculous to claim that it's "behind her" now.

How would his wife feel if she found out her husband used to be gay? Would she accept "That was a different part of my life, and I'm not gay now"?

Of course not. Once you've admitted what you're in to, there's not much you can say that's going to convince anyone that you're no longer into it.

His wife is into getting gangbanged. Now.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 42 points43 points  (2 children)

It's behind her as much as his utility is in front of her. If the husband was suddenly out of the picture she, like most women, return to their feral hypergamy once free to do so. See also all the women in their 30s and 40s I've seen who divorced and fucked every alpha six ways to Sunday that they could get their hands on.

Christ, I was just in chicfila and the old lady who got me my refill remarked about the size of my arms "oh you work out" and she squeezed it, then asking if she should feel it. WTF? Point being, they'd all be panty dropping for one alpha after another if they were given the opportunity. Age doesn't factor into it beyond limiting their attractiveness. Then again I can't blame them. If models did the same thing to me I'd be all over that.

[–]Senior Contributorcocaine_face 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One time I was at a wedding party for a girl I had dated back in my bluepill days.

I had also dated her cousin (without knowing at first it was her cousin), also at the same party, much more recently (about 6 months before) who was significantly more attractive and probably the second most attractive girl at the party.

While cousin is flirting pretty heavily with me at the bar, wedding girl is getting -intensely- jealous and flirting with me too (at first just to "check up", and later on to full on interrupt us talking).

In the midst of this hypergamy oneupmanship, an old lady, I want to say 65 or 70, comes up to me and LITERALLY UNBUTTONS THE TOP BUTTON ON MY SHIRT. And then tells me, "Oh, this looks much better".

Hypergamy isn't affected at all by age. Women will gravitate to the highest value man they can.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Since I learned to NGAF, lift hard, speak to all women I have had women run hands all over my arms and shoulders. There is locking down pussy. It's just your turn

[–]Nydusurmainus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They can only fuck their way out of stuff due to the failure of men don't forget. It is equally our responsibility to make sure women don't have the power to do this

[–]4delicioustreats 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Also on point, if the ability to get what she wants resumes, her behavior likely will resume.

Eg, trade a boss sex for promotion or to get some emotional fun when the relationship with him is going sour.

[–]thedude122487 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Here's a quote of her's in the thread:

My main "limitation" is that I won't do anal, which I know he enjoys - it's just not pleasurable and often painful for me.

That's interesting, she didn't seem to mind it when she was getting D.P.'d by her ex-boyfriend and his roommate. (Even though she never explicitly said that she was D.P.'d, let's be honest.) Wonder how many times she's done anal with her husband? I'd be willing to bet..uh..zero??

[–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Just cuz the all flies hover over the manauer doesn't mean it's a good idea."

[–][deleted] 274 points275 points  (82 children)

  1. Attempt to distance herself from the actions by assuring him that she's a different person now. This is closer to taking the approach of the red pill, essentially trying to prove to him that the actions don't impinge on her current value.

Actually, this approach is just a different flavor of the blue pill... It's still bluer than a smurf's dick.

The idea that "her actions don't impinge on her current value" is an absolutely core component of the BP worldview. It's also patently ridiculous. Why the fuck would her actions affect her value in every area EXCEPT the area of sexuality? This insanity is just another part of the woman-coddling tomfoolery that is the Blue Pill.

I was drinking every weekend, doing recreational drugs every month, partying, having casual flings - just like everyone else at that age

LOL'd so fucking hard at this hamstering. This bitch is completely out of touch with reality. Anyone who doubts that women literally don't notice bottom-80% men, this is your proof.

Anyone who's been to college knows there was a huge contingent of Asian/Christian/nerdy males who literally never did any of that stuff. But she didn't even acknowledge their existence. To her, "everyone" was whoring it up.

Good post OP. The comment you link to is a perfect example of the archetypal love story of our times: "Hard-working, earnest beta meets washed-up slut."

(Fuck... I just realized that describes my parents. )

[–]George_l_rockwell 100 points101 points  (68 children)

Anyone who's been to college knows there was a huge contingent of Asian/Christian/nerdy males who literally never did any of that stuff.

Very very true. I attend a university with a very large Christian population and you'd be surprised at how few of these people actually do drugs and party. For the most part, they make good memories with each other and stay out of trouble, and I admire that about them. Those men who date those Christian girls who actually follow the Bible have much more rewarding relationships than your average idiot dating some disgusting chubby sorority girl. And I say this as someone who doesn't believe in God.

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (64 children)

Dude I feel exactly the same way. Honestly it makes me wanna go meet some Christian women, I'm kinda tired of just fucking all these sluts, my notch count is sky-high but I have gotten zero emotional fulfillment out of my slut-fucking ways.

In a way, "God" is just a code-word that human beings use to connect with one another. It makes us feel like we're all part of the same family, with "God" as the loving patriarch.

Even though I don't believe in some invisible dude in the sky, when I think of the words "God" and "Jesus" as nothing more than imaginary words that humans use to grow closer to one another, it makes me want to go join a church and have a meaningful relationship with a cute God-fearing virgin.

Will try it and report back... Psyched to write an FR about it. "CHRISTIANITY CONFIDENTIAL: Infiltrating the Church to Desecrate Virgin Poon."

Bout to get Dark Triad as fuck in order to engage in a meaningful relationship. Paradoxical strategy? Let's find out.

[–]needless_pickup_line 58 points59 points  (13 children)

As a relatively devout Catholic let me tell you that modern church girls are only slightly better than your average sloot. Most people would be surprised at the amount of whoring and partying that goes around.

If anything they're even better at hiding their past.

[–]thebalrog_ofmorgoth 10 points11 points  (0 children)

went to 10 years of Catholic school. can confirm.

[–]2Overkillengine 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Especially the ones that wear a crucifix that dangles precisely in the middle of their cleavage as if to call attention to it (it is).

They will happily lie to you and the world about what kind of person they are.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Anecdotal but the biggest slut I know totes God and her religion all the time. Has a Psalm verse tattooed on her back. She's obscenely hot, like a 10/10 but has fucked like 1000 dudes. Catholic school her whole life. The sluts are everywhere man

[–]1sailorJery 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tattoos are blatant signs that she's more of a hypocritical christian than one who is of high value. My family is christian and my sister have friends who are on both sides. The ones who are christian but lust for the shiny things in the secular world, and those who take their faith very seriously.

[–]rpkarma 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As an ex- devout catholic, I'd like to corroborate this. I got easier pussy when I was in youth group than nearly anywhere else. There are some real God-fearing girls there that won't give it up without a ring, but honestly they're few and far between, and their numbers are dwindling as society beats the religion and morals out of them.

[–]soThisIsHowItEnds 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But its different. At the time they did it, they had already told their preacher they were fucking and he made it better. Never even happened to them.

[–]pl231 14 points14 points [recovered]

you're going to make them have a mental breakdown. it would be like you're playing on easy mode and then eventually they will realize you aren't their knight in shining armor they've dreamed of for 10 years and their entire world will come crashing down.

[–]1Dis_mah_mobile_one 39 points40 points  (4 children)

I grew up in an evangelical family. Just because they're regular church-going girls doesn't mean they're not also on dat carousel.

[–]Wraithwain 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A girl I used to like from church went at it with as much enthusiasm and energy as when rodeo bulls are used for the carousel. She got herself knocked up and left behind. And now, she contacts me every now and then asking to go out.

Church is no guarantee for their purity, but it just increases the odds of finding one who isn't slightly. And it is still the best place to start looking for a girl with a red pill mindset.

[–]femmefatale1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It depends on the church. I know that at least 90% of the girls who went to one Church during my highschool years were virgins entering college. And I believe many were until their wedding night.

The key is proper peer pressure. The churches that let in sluts will quickly degrade because its okay to be a slut.

[–]George_l_rockwell 11 points12 points  (16 children)

I'm kinda tired of just fucking all these sluts, my notch count is sky-high but I have gotten zero emotional fulfillment out of my slut-fucking ways.

I feel exactly the same. I'm only 19 in university and I'm already tired of it. The risk of disease is also something that has put me off as well. If anything, I've noticed that I get more of a thrill from the actual chase than doing the deed itself now.

it makes me want to go join a church and have a meaningful relationship with a cute God-fearing virgin.

I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, many churches these days are becoming very accommodating for the cultural Marxism that is becoming powerful in the US, and I'm trying to avoid joining a church where the members simply view it as a place to go on Sunday, and to act like a slut for the rest of the week. I want to meet a Christian virgin girl who you can actually talk to and have meaningful conversations with, and someone who has more value to them than just what's inbetween their legs. I may be an atheist, but I have never met a girl who said she didn't believe in God and who kept herself respectable the way a religious girl does.

[–]BurgundyCarpet 12 points12 points [recovered]

Unfortunately, many churches these days are becoming very accommodating for the cultural Marxism that is becoming powerful in the US, and I'm trying to avoid joining a church where the members simply view it as a place to go on Sunday, and to act like a slut for the rest of the week.

True dat. Might have to go church-hopping tomorrow morning instead of the usual bar-hopping tonight!

[–]George_l_rockwell 4 points5 points  (5 children)

That's why I'm looking into Orthodox communities, and seeing what they might have to offer.

[–]Glenwalk 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Churches aren't the best place to meet Christian girls. You'll meet a bunch of older people who use it as a way to socialize. I'd recommend things like Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Campus4Christ or smaller house churches.

That being said, churches aren't bad for getting information about these clubs, but I'd say it's more of a stepping stone.

If I ever decide to settle down that's my plan.

[–]George_l_rockwell 10 points11 points  (1 child)

If I ever decide to settle down that's my plan.

Even then though, you have to remember that the best Christian girls get married relatively early in their lives. I doubt you wanna marry an older Christian woman, as something would be off if she wasn't married by then.

[–]Glenwalk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course- that's why campus christian groups would be the ideal spot

[–]TomSachs 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Come to the south my friend its a good place to start.

[–]George_l_rockwell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Come to the South? I was born and raised there. Unfortunately, I'm not studying there.

[–]GoldPisseR 13 points14 points  (14 children)

A cute Christian virgin will stay far away from a guy with a high count.They want other christian guys like themselves.TRP wont work on them because bible learnings are ingrained in their souls.

I've met some girls who'll only have sex with their husbands and if the guy is not okay with waiting ,they move on.They value their beliefs more than 'alphas' which is how it should be.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 19 points20 points  (0 children)

TRP works on the man, transforming the man. The resulting man is more attractive to all women, including the nice christian girls. They still get the vagina tingles from alpha cues just like every other female. They still have a giant rationalization hamster instead of integrity (scriptural or otherwise) in their brain box.

Some tiny details in how you'd wanna approach might change, but it's pure decorum. Superficial level "a nice wrapper for her to enjoy" stuff, deep down the game is exactly the same with those chicks as with any other type.

[–][deleted] 11 points11 points

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[–]MicroMinion 12 points13 points  (3 children)

So to avoid women who have lie about their perdonalities and past sins you will do exactly the same? Now this is a level of RP hypocrisy I haven't seen before...

[–]copralalic 3 points4 points  (2 children)

TRP is amoral. No morals? No hypocrisy.

[–]MicroMinion 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It is amoral, but true as this is, I would hate for this place to become the male version of what feminism is now.

Getting with taken women is one thing, but lying and deceiving good ones in order to get with them and thus permanently ruining them is taking it to a whole new level.

Also even though morals might not be taken into condsideration it doesn't change the fact that it's still hypocrisy to do the exact opposite of what you want other people to do.

[–]copralalic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TRP remains amoral, but you have ethics, which is a good thing. You have no right to judge your fellow men, however, and honestly it's not your business.

[–]TomSachs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was raised in a very red pill household solely due to Christianity

[–]despoticVeracity[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

I call the 'distancing' as being red pill, in that she acknowledges that it's harmful and a bad sign and now attempts to backpedal by asserting that she's changed. In other words, she's saying, "being a slut is bad, but I've changed since then and will be a good wife, so please love me." On the other hand, the BP approach is "being a slut is fine. Experimenting with my sexuality is good."

It's a common enough tactic, but it's the one that ties into the RP narrative.

You're right about it being a strong hamster, but it's all part of her plight to raise her quickly plummeting SMV, which is setting her up for a RP dynamic. The BP action would be to reject the notion of this affecting her SMV entirely, rather than trying to mitigate its overall effect.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Ah, understood. Very good point you're making... She is showing Red Pill awareness even as she seeks to ensnare a Beta provider. This bitch is so duplicitous it's unreal.

[–]TurduckenII 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Both of you folks bring up excellent points on the same issue. I feel that this is an issue of the husband feeling like he missed out. She feels like she experimented in those days, and although she may or may not have (probably did) enjoy it, she regrets it now. She probably loves her life with her husband and doesn't want it to fade.

He, however, probably has a different viewpoint. He may not have had promiscuous lays, or as many, or of a lower quality than she did. He feels like she's privileged to be able to have that sex and then regret it or not--that she has an element of choice. Meanwhile, how is their sex at home? How many times has he been rejected by her? How many times has she said, "ok, but make it quick?"

She needs to admit that she acted slutty and concealed it from him. If he never asked about it, it's not exactly either of their faults. Failure to ask, "have you ever had crazy sex before you met me?" is not a common fault. If she actively denied it, misrepresented the facts, or told half-truths, then it is her fault. She didn't need to paint a picture full of porny details. You can't take those images back. Now he can't stop thinking of them. You can be honest, but still spare the mind of your partner. She could have mentioned that she was promiscuous and that she had experiences that she regrets because it doesn't fit with the love for him that she has now. Well, now he's been informed by a 3rd party. This is the error of the 3rd party, not the fact that he was told, but the images that was unloaded onto him.

How to recover? She needs to give him the element of choice. When he's ready to talk, she needs to admit fault for dishonesty, because why keep it a secret if it's not bad? Again, you can spare details while still being honest. She wasn't honest. She pulled the bait-and-switch. He's disgusted with her, but why shame him for his feelings? Feelings are barometers of the heart, information. They are to be listened to. They aren't wrong. But they do change. He'll most likely not divorce her. He's just insanely envious of what he feels like he missed out on. If he feels like she's been a whore, then the best thing she can do to preserve their union is say that she's his whore, and reaffirm their bond that way. It might not be fair to her to be pressured into sex, and it's not fair to him to omit what may have been a deal-breaker. It depends on what's the priority: growing in a new way in the marriage or being right.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm reminded of a proverb: you cannot cross a river without getting wet. Seems to fit this situation perfectly.

[–]Hatorader 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'm not even nerdy or religious and I'm slightly above average in looks and a pretty good body and I couldn't even get a fucking glance from a girl in college let alone threesomes and gang-bangs.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The same for me during my college years. Well, my game was pretty much non-existent for several reasons, so I blame that for my lack of love life; but I also had the limiting belief that porn-style sex didn't exist outside of, well, porn. Because that's what I have been told all the time.

[–]doc_rotten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Everyone" doesn't mean real flesh and blood people. It means the numerous personalities in her own mind were all sluts. Even the one's that pretend not to be. They had a vote. It was unanimous.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

The old trickle truth. Old as time itself. Also, for the record, MFF is a threesome, MMF is a gang bang.

This guy has no choice. He has to cut his losses and move on. There is no sense throwing good money after bad.

How would you be able to reconcile the fact the mother of your children, your heirs, was the same woman who was double-penetrated by two dudes while strung out on blow?

Presumably, the guy has no children yet. He should pull the eject handle while still over friendly territory, lest he wants to be tortured to death as a POW.

However, we all know how this story will probably end...unfortunately.

[–]thedude122487 7 points8 points  (0 children)

MFF is a threesome, MMF is a gang bang.

I never thought about it that way until now but it makes sense. In a MFF, all three are involved with each other. In this case, the female was a central target and the dudes weren't doing anything with each other.

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (10 children)

Sounds like husband dude lost on the wife lottery wheel and his shit came up "That one college skank that let dudes run trains on her"

Now whenever he looks at her his mind's eye is going to superimpose the visual of two jackfucks high-fiving while front-to-backing her. Yes this is the woman he chose to share a financial strategy with, have children with and spend the rest of his life with. Waah-waah-waaaah.

Other dudes who added zero value to her life in any way whatsoever had their way, while I'm wagering he has a strict set of sexual rules to abide by.

Its not just her fallen SMV that is impacting the marriage, its the realization that his wants and needs are a secondary concern and that is the most bitter of pills to swallow of all.

When a man finally figures out how much he's been bamboozled - how much he continues to be devalued - its an eye-opener.

What this women needs to do now is apologize for not being up-front and honest with him - tell him that she loves him desperately - put on her best lingerie and SUCK HIS DICK - I mean with all of her heart and soul. She needs to show him the freak and be his little private sex kitten - saying to him that he's the love of her life - and that the special pussy that he's getting is the special pussy that no other man would get. And yes - she need to give up the ass - and moan like she loves it while begging him to dump his load while he's in there.

Lets call that choice 3.

Because as we all well know - how hot a woman gets during sex is a very accurate barometer for what her feelings toward that man in an LTR is. Passion for a one night chance encounter is always for the self. Passion in an LTR is for the other.

[–][deleted] 46 points46 points

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[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm not "rooting" for anything to happen, but I certainly wouldn't blame the guy.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (4 children)

This is something that I don't understand with people. You're not supposed to "judge," but that guy will spend the rest of his life unable to get the images of 2 dudes running train on his wife out of his head. No amount of words or logic/illogic will ever change that.

Why stay with her? There's too many things (trust, her view of you vs them, images of her getting doubled on) that will literally never go away, regardless of whether you're not "supposed" to be effected by them or not.

I'm not saying it's cheating (of course it isn't, by definition), but it has the same results, psychologically. Why stay together if all those things will never go away?

[–]Moldy_Gecko 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Unless, he can use this to get some 3somes out of her... That might change the image in his head instead of her getting split roasted, the image will be of her beaver hunting.

[–]watcher45 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To jackfucks highfiving while spit roasting her.

[–]femmefatale1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely, I might be able to overlook a promiscuous past if the woman is a total freak for me in the bedroom, but if she is setting up rules(like this woman said she is), then its an instant dealbreaker.

[–][deleted] 98 points98 points

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[–]despoticVeracity[S] 32 points33 points  (26 children)

Here's what she says in response to accusations of shooting down his 'attempts to broaden bedroom activities':

I have shot down some things, but only because I am in-tune with myself enough to know my sexual limits, likes and dislikes. It's not like I'm a prude, we have an active sex life (3-4 times / week) and I very much enjoy having sex with him.

Maybe she's lying, but she's been honest about worse things, and has already accepted guilt. My money is, ironically enough, on her being honest about her sex life.

[–]MetacognitiveMan 49 points50 points  (20 children)

With that quote, she could be easily hiding that she is withholding from him. By limiting sex to just her likes and dislikes, she could very well be just allowing missionary.

I also bet 3-4 times a week is max per week and not average.

[–]isthatyourdaughter 54 points54 points [recovered]

This is exactly what I was thinking. Read that quote again:

I have shot down some things, but only because I am in-tune with myself enough to know my sexual limits, likes and dislikes. It's not like I'm a prude, we have an active sex life (3-4 times / week) and I very much enjoy having sex with him.

That's what they all say. And I mean that literally; whenever we see a reddit post like this, where it's a woman looking for emotional (hamster) support, and she's questioned about the sex life at home, it's pretty much word for word this same shit. It's almost as if...a woman who lied to her husband, would be willing to lie to Reddit...

[–]CarrotTrees 31 points32 points  (0 children)

you think people would just do that? Tell lies on the internet?

[–]CryptoOrchid 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Either that or just as likely I'd say that they actually believe it. Even if they only have sex once a week and sometimes twice a week and sometimes skip a week entirely.. To them it's 3-4 times a week.

My money would be on no blow jobs for that guy though.

[–]isthatyourdaughter 15 points15 points [recovered]

Either that or just as likely I'd say that they actually believe it.

Well of course they do. That's what The Hamster is: a special gift of womanhood that allows her to believe her own bullshit.

[–]CryptoOrchid 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I think though that sometimes they lie and know it's bullshit and sometimes they run that bullshit hamster so much they believe the lie to be true.

[–]bluedrygrass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In general, they always know they're bullshitting. In particular cases, they focus all their mental powers on believing it, and they do it.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's what my gut is telling me too. See also: the parable of Mark and Lauren.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The exact same lie, word for word.

It's like they take a class or something-

I would rather just be friends, you are a great guy and any girl would want to be with you,

just be yourself,

I have sex with my husband 3-4 times/week.

[–]nomad-oz 4 points5 points  (3 children)

The born again virgin is a common stereotype. The slut that stops giving blow jobs and doing anal once she is married. She now considers these things disgusting and off the menu, at least for the husband.

I have been with a number of married women that happily got nasty kinky with me. They hide this side from their beta husbands. They know it is easier for the BB to slave away for a "good woman".

[–]isthatyourdaughter 2 points2 points [recovered]

Jesus, you just gave me an idea for a quick post. Mind if I quote your comment here?

[–]SoldierGenerale 39 points40 points  (4 children)

So she fucks the love of her life 3-4 times a week, but she let a bunch dudes rail her as often as they please?

I'm also willing to bet money that she let the other dudes fuck her up the ass and cum in her face.

So she gave the younger, hotter and kinkier version to some randoms but her fucking husband gets the boring pg-13 version.

Hope her husband wisens up leaves her lying ass.

[–]Chuckit_ 21 points22 points  (0 children)

3-4 times / week

Yeah, that means she can remember having sex with him 3 times in one week at some point early in their relationship.

[–]2johnnight 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I have shot down some things,

It's a situation like with that wife-on-hidden-sex-tape guy all over again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's lying. Women always lie about their sex life. Literally always. They never tell the truth. Either they exaggerate or make up complete BS. As someone else said that number is probably the max number, while her husband just found out she was taking double cumshots all the time.

[–]1aguy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in-tune with myself enough to know my sexual limits

Her sexual limits include getting all her holes plugged by strange men. Her sexual limits -with him- are basic missionary.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

A woman telling a r/relationship her side of the story. Yeah, your definitely not getting the full story. The obvious follow up, what else in her past is going to devastate her husband. A girl doesn't just have 15 3somes and that's the only skeletons in the closet.

She says they have sex 3-4 times a week. So he's getting laid more than most of y'all.

Here's the thing though, this guy is now realizing his wife not only was promiscuous, but was a freaking slut. College years and excuses be damned. She may have changed. Doesn't matter. There's way more to this gal's story, and it ain't pretty.

[–]dogellionaire 93 points94 points  (8 children)

It was my ONE secret, and I honestly debated telling him about it but came to the conclusion that no positive outcome could come from it.

no shit. "oh by the way, i know i should probably have told you this before you married me, but i actually used to be a massive cockslut. that's probably why my old friends from college always look at you with a smirk during social events. anyway, what do you want for dinner ?"

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

"and we are not having sex tonight, you know I don't like it that much".

[–]Samantha_Simpson 7 points7 points [recovered]

I grew up in a very traditional culture/household, so as a college student in the U.S. now I'm still shocked at how loose many of my peers seem to be concerning this matter. My parents often warned me that any high-value man worth marrying would do a thorough background check on me before committing, so I made sure to keep my record clean. If I were a man, I'd also want to do the same thing for any potential relationship partners. It's possible that many of my female peers simply aren't aware of this due to being raised with much more liberal attitudes, but if they just thought about it, they'd find that what they're doing now doesn't make much sense if they want a long-term relationship in the future.

[–]1aguy01 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think the right attitude for a parent is "I'll love you no matter what, and you can do what you want, but you should know that these are the consequences to being promiscuous".

Instead parents turn it into a taboo and the kids get their direction from their peers and the media.

[–]bitches_be_crazy86 29 points30 points  (0 children)

promiscuity both exists in a state where it's nothing to be ashamed of and also acceptable to avoid mentioning

Precisely, that's exactly the definition of sluttiness. It's not about being promiscious. No guy has problems with a bitch who wants to suck his dick. It's women who have sucked tons of dicks but then pretend to be snowflake extra virgin marry to extract resources and commitment.

[–]Ojisan1 24 points25 points  (7 children)

I'm thinking that from the husband's perspective, he's made 2 mistakes (we are here to learn about male game, not just analyze and criticize women, right?)

Mistake one is he married her. It's so much more difficult to demote a wife than it is to demote an LTR back to plate, or simply next her when you find some shit like this that you deem unacceptable.

Mistake two is that he seems to be using dread with no clear objective (this may only be unclear because we are only hearing her side of it). Does he want her to be more open with him sexually and do the things with him that she did in college? Does he want to change their marriage to an open relationship? He can't dread game her out of her actual past, it's not like he can punish her in such a way that her past no longer affects his reputation or anything. So without any sort of objective, dread is pointless here.

Either he's going to ignore her lying and go back to the way things were, he's going to change the relationship somehow to make it more acceptable to him (more sexual, or an open marriage), or he's going to leave her.

Bottom line, if he hadn't married her, this would be a lot simpler to deal with.

[–]thehonestdouchebag 11 points12 points  (2 children)

He isn't using dread on purpose. The dude is rightfully disgusted upon learning about his slutty wifes past. He is shellshocked, how he acts when he composes himself will determine the strength of his character.

[–]Ojisan1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah that seems to be the case. It's unintentional dread game. If he was actually using it towards some goal, it probably would work but he's just reacting to the situation she put him in.

Dread could be useful in this situation if his goal was, for example, an open marriage or getting his wife to be more sexually open with him.

[–]despoticVeracity[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Dread doesn't have to have a specific goal, although it certainly can be used that way. It can just be to improve your partner's actions in general, as they work overtime to please. It could turn a henpecked marriage into an emperor/serving-girl relationship.

[–]Ojisan1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well I would consider that to be a clear goal. Changing her behavior in some way that benefits the relationship.

In this case, I'm not sure that he's got some relationship-improving goal in mind, at least not one that the wife mentioned in her post.

[–]despoticVeracity[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He's probably not doing it 'on purpose'. The guy's upset and likely considering divorce.

The dread isn't some acted strategy he's implementing; it's a very real possibility that he'll bail on the marriage.

It'll still have its effect, though. The OP is terrified and tiptoeing around him. She's suddenly being submissive. RP is observation and replication of organic situations. This is dread in the wild.

[–]1Zanford 91 points92 points  (5 children)

"Everyone was doing it in college!"

Notice how invisible the bottom 80% of men are to women.

(Although I have to say, the bf and his roommate don't exactly sound like apex alphas, sharing the same woman on 15 occasions)

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

(Although I have to say, the bf and his roommate don't exactly sound like apex alphas, sharing the same woman on 15 occasions)

Nah, they just didn't care about her... Arnold Schwarzenegger did that stuff too, and if there's one guy in the world who is an apex alpha, it's him.

[–]the_bastards_bitches 14 points15 points  (3 children)

What's wrong with sharing a woman? I really wish I shared more sluts with my buddy when I had the chance. It would have been another good story.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That story's got to have run dry after a while.

Eventually you'll begin to associate your roommate as more of a sex partner than a buddy....

[–]2niczar 38 points39 points  (1 child)

It's not what she did that's the issue here. It's not whether it's good or bad that she slept with random guys and did all kinds of weird shit. It's that she knows very well that it's a problem for her husband, but she tries to find excuses and validation here.

[–]FattestRabbit 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I agree; if her husband was some rock star / AF that also had a ton of threesomes in his prime, it'd probably be a non-issue altogether. The issue is in the fact that she kept a secret that she knew would change her husbands perception of her.

"Oh yeah, also, I was born a man. Sorry! Don't be so judgmental!"

[–]1DRMMR76 21 points22 points  (1 child)

It all comes down to the idea that she gave way brand new goods for free and is now charging an arm and a leg for those same goods, now that they're used up and broken. Any male can detect this and have a feeling of distaste for the concept. A BP male will blame this distaste on himself as he's been conditioned to feel that way. A RP man will correctly call it out for the scam that it is.

She married him. She claims to love him more than all of those other guys. In his sensible male mind, this translates directly to thinking that if she cares about me more than those other guys, she should be willing to give me her best. Just as I might loan $5 to an acquaintance, $100 to a friend, and maybe $500+ to my best friend it's entirely rational to think that the greater and deeper a relationship you have with someone, the more you should be willing to do for them. His maleness understands this and notices the disconnect. She's supposed to have her greatest and deepest relationship with him, but he's not getting her best. Her best was given away to those other guys in her past, for nothing. He's put in all the work, built the relationship, committed himself legally to her, and now he's finding out that she's backing out of her part of the bargain. She got his best and he's not getting her best. And not only is he not getting it, which would be bad enough, but others did get it without having to do any of the stuff he's had to do.

Again, all men notice these things. But a plugged in man rejects the reasons for this and will convince himself that he's somehow at fault for feeling swindled.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 55 points56 points  (2 children)

When your dog shits on your bed, the pervading dog logic is yea its bad but it happened a long time ago in dog time.

[–]rztzz 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I think another major reminder from this is that women cannot keep secrets.

[–]Endorsed ContributorObio1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

True.. But even now, it should not be assumed that we now know all the secrets.

For all we know there were also a few times when she fucked a whole frat house.

[–]p3ndulum 14 points15 points  (7 children)

I killed a man yesterday, but don't worry, that's in the past. I'm a different person now and better because of it.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Worst part about this is the shame the guy is going to feel knowing these other guys are talking about his wife and all the things they did to her and with her. Going out in public to the mall or grocery and hearing people talk about you has to be a horrible experience.

She didnt tell him before they married, why? because he probably wouldn't have married her! She knows this

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 35 points36 points  (7 children)

She has lied by omission and misled him. He feels betrayed. He has been betrayed.

Chances are she's doing fortnightly starfish sex and he's pissed off because while this is acceptable from a neo-virgin, it's not acceptable from a slut.

He probably wouldn't have married her if he knew this stuff (which is why she didn't tell him). Hence this is fraud on her part and he deserves a divorce.

He should get divorced on the basis of her misrepresentation and then decide what sort of a relationship he wants with her.

If she loved him, she would do this for him.. hahhahahahaha. Yeah right.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY!

The only way this situation could be salvageable is for him to get a legal divorce but still live with her and basically get a "do over".

He already sees her as a completely different person so might as well.

[–]yeoxnuuq 12 points13 points  (1 child)

No one wants a lock that every key can/has opened

[–]thedude122487 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Keeping a secret like that is almost as bad as a lie by omission. If you murdered someone, you can't just say "the past is the past and it's a new chapter so this is just the one secret I kept from my partner" because like it or not, the past does reflect on you as a person. If it's something that might affect their decision to want to be with you, you OWE it to them to inform them. Doing otherwise is pure dishonesty. Sadly, hardly anybody gives a fuck about the Golden Rule.

I don't have any patience for somebody who keeps secrets like that. That's why you grill your S/O about these things early on in the relationship. That way the only way for her to "keep it a secret" is to lie, which puts it 100% on her.

[–]FattestRabbit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Keeping a secret like that is almost as bad as a lie by omission.

FTFY. Otherwise, completely agree. If it's something your partner would weigh before choosing to marry you, you owe it to them to tell them at some point before marriage.

[–]SoldierGenerale 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Absolutely, I ask girls before getting serious if they'd still love me and want to be with me if they found out the horrible things I did in my past.

'Would you still love me if you found out that I used to kill jews?'
'I would..'
'Wait.. you'd still want to be with me if I was a nazi?..'
'Well, aslong as you're sweet to me'

[–]HermesHermeneus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lol'd.

Best shit test ever.

[–]CrimsonDeep 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Bitches that value (western) college like it is some milestone of achievement in their life usually are not the the kind of chicks I go after for long term relationships.

IF You ride the carousel, you stay on the carousel. I'm not gonna be your omega bitch hero and get you off of it.

[–]fatalcharm 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I don't know how bad things are in America, but in Australia most people who go to college/university while living with their parent's, rather than living on campus. Yes, on weekends they might head to town and visit the bars and clubs but it certainly isn't the wild parties with threesoms and orgies that they have in America. Even then, you have your parents on your back about how you should be staying home and studying on a saturday night instead of heading into town (if you have strict parents) so I don't think that's a fair assumption to make about all westerners.

[–]MajorStyles 47 points48 points  (13 children)

This same shit happened to me!!!

I was around 22, going out with a girl 10 years my senior. One day, I fought out that some dudes tossed her around in a neighborhood gang bang. She kept going back, and it happened about 5-10 times in total.

After I heard that, she was dead to me. I lost all respect for her. We broke up not long after that. She tried to shame me afterwards - I was insecure, etc. Fuck that noise. I was outta there, and any self respecting man should be as well.

This is what "modern" women will never understand. That most men value their chastity. That when they whore themselves out, they no longer become wife material. It's in our DNA to seek non-sluts for marriage (despite the attempts of the Femcentric state to promote cuckoldry).

[–]George_l_rockwell 22 points23 points  (7 children)

It's in our DNA to seek non-sluts for marriage

It would be stupid to seek out sluts for marriage. Evolution has driven men to not seek out sluts, because we have a desire to spread our genes down. When you get into a relationship with a slut, the chances of you raising a child that isn't yours will only dramatically increase. No self respecting man wants to raise children that aren't theirs.

[–]1DetectiveDing-Daaahh 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"threesomes". Hah! She can't even bring herself to say it. She got gangbanged . Her 'then-boyfriend' saw her for who she was/is, hence having no qualms about letting his roommate use her as a human fleshlight.

[–]Shankar_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Peculiarly, promiscuity both exists in a state where it's nothing to be ashamed of and also acceptable to avoid mentioning.

Haha god the fucking hamstering is too much

[–]foomfoomfoom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Words you will never hear out of the femanine collective: "This should be a warning. We need to make sure that the younger generation doesn't make the same choices we did, because apparently some things from your past you can't live down."

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

'the past is the past' and that she's 'a different woman'.

The only excuse he needs to hate her is this : "You a bitch, you a ho, that's just my philosophy" - Tauheed Epps (Two Chainz)

And the philosophy is this: Past behavior/attitude is a great indicator of present behavior/attitude

A woman being/ having been promiscuous shows lack of self control. It is 100x easier for a woman to have sex than a man. The guy should understand what a woman with no self control is capable of, which can include making him unknowingly raise another man's kid. I bet she is fucking some dude behind his back, never trust a slut. Once a slut, always a slut.

Also the guy has to give his commitment to her to get something that she easily gave away to other guys when that thing was in its prime. That thing is nubile femininity.

The husband should know that what a person is sexually attracted to does not change after puberty. Women have (since age 16) wanted to fuck bad boy alpha, while men (since age 16) have wanted to fuck slim women with a nice ass and rack. If she was attracted to the bad boy party alpha, chances are she is still attracted to those men, and is using the husband as some other form of provider status/ beta bux. Past attitude is a spot on indicator of present attitude. Ask your boss about that shit.

[–]holzy444 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Actions have consequences. Imagine that.

[–]-Tyler_Durden- 34 points34 points [recovered]

It is best to assume every woman you are considering to promote to LTR has a more sordid past than this one. This woman's history is mild compared to most "liberated" women. Remember, every new woman that you meet should be considered a slut by default.

What was revealed is that she had a sexual relationship with two men in college 15 times; she didn't have 15 threesomes with 30 different men. But, women like to use trickle truth and I doubt that this is the end of her story.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Correct answer. She is clearly ashamed of what she did, because she didn't want anyone to know. She knows it lowers her value. She is NOT a different woman. She just has different capabilities and priorities. There is no way he knows the whole CC story.

[–]Jizzaldo 25 points25 points [recovered]

What these sluts don't realise is that nobody in their right mind would want a car that's had more than 5 owners, it's no different when it comes to our SO's

[–]Newdist2 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Eh, I've had some real beaters in my time. Get them real cheap, ride them till they break down, then throw them away. Not a bad deal.

I'd never put kids in them, of course.

[–]2Overkillengine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Or put 50% or more of my earnings up as collateral to pay for them.

[–]foldpak111 29 points30 points  (0 children)

"It was a hedonistic "live for today" lifestyle that I thankfully grew out of."

*thrown out of

[–]cyear 16 points17 points  (5 children)

That was really well thought through. It's hard sometimes to see through the bs if you've been indoctrinated in it for years. What would be your move in this example? What should the husband do? And further - could this have been avoided with marrying her? I'm sure there must've been red flags, you can't hide your past completely and your true nature.

[–]despoticVeracity[S] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

My recommended action for either person, from a purely pragmatic POV, varies depending on their natures.

For her, she needs to match her approach to his overall attitude. If he's a nice guy undergoing feeling vomit, she could likely dominate and shame him into accepting that her sexual history is irrelevant.

If his actions are solid dread, meeting him full on will not lead to a backing down. On the contrary, he'll quite possibly enter the launch codes. What she needs to do is capitulate and prove her worth as a woman. In other words, she needs to convince him that 'the past is the past', both with words and actions.

In his situation, the RP approach is ramping up the dread to nuclear levels. Her SMV has plummeted and both parties realise that. However, that doesn't necessarily spell the end of the relationship. She can still win favour through effort, and will be more inclined to, because he could leave and find a higher SMV woman at any time. This makes it possible that, if he plays his cards right, he could have his wife treat him like a god.

The approach would entail making sure she knows that he hasn't 'forgiven' her, but is open to letting her try to prove herself. "I'm very disappointed in you. I thought I married a woman with higher standards." It'd involve sitting on the dread button as long as possible.

Funnily enough, this can be modelled as a prisoner's dilemma, depending on how you value the outcomes, and whether you weight being in a marriage determined by your partner as superior to being single. I'm assuming so. In this case, blue is aggressive for her and compliant for him, and vice versa.

Her-Him - Winner-loser - Description

Red-Red - lose-win (biggest) - nuclear-powered relationship Red-Blue - win-win (small) - she apologises and he forgives her Blue-Red - lose-lose (big) - Kennedy says to Kruschev, 'you won't do it, faggot' and it ends as expected Blue-Blue - win-lose (biggest) - she dominates him and he apologises

[–]FattestRabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She can still win favour through effort, and will be more inclined to, because he could leave and find a higher SMV woman at any time. This makes it possible that, if he plays his cards right, he could have his wife treat him like a god.

The approach would entail making sure she knows that he hasn't 'forgiven' her, but is open to letting her try to prove herself.

I honestly read this and thought that she should try to set up a threesome with him and another lady and let it happen a few times if he wants to. Time to capitalize.

[–]MrRexels 15 points16 points  (2 children)

You spend lots of time and probably the help of a professional before investing in a house. You spend lots of time and probably the help of a professional before investing in a car.

And yet a woman can take both things in one fell sweep and you don't even care to find what she did in college?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Who cares. The guy has balls he will dump her. If not he pusses out.

[–]JanLul 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Something that I didn't see mentioned is the husband being faced with the fact that his wife, whilst being sexually conservative with him, was actually really adventurous and wild with other men.

[–]Transmigratory 8 points9 points  (1 child)

She's probably more scared that if this established man leaves her, then he'll spread the word about her past to other established men.

[–]Christian_Kong 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Man I love threads like this, but I have a very dark sense of humor. The classic "I did something in the past and now I'm being judged on it after it came out" post. It never gets old.

I was drinking every weekend, doing recreational drugs every month, partying, having casual flings - just like everyone else at that age

She is right that many college students are fucking(and doing drugs and partying which have no correlation to getting gangbanged) like rabbits. The shocking thing is in effect this girl is saying, every girl gets tag teamed during college. I don't have any more proof than life experience but 3 ways are fairly abnormal and I would think MMF 3 ways are much less likely than MFF.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 14 points15 points  (1 child)

And just like clockwork my comment was removed.

First things first, there's no such thing as "the past is the past" as some on here might tell you. It's a contrivance to dismiss his feelings, which he is 100% entitled to. Who we are, yes even in college, forms our character and who we become later on in life. He has EVERY right to judge you based on those past decisions as they impact who you are today. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blowing smoke up your ass, probably because doing so pads their own egos from their own mistakes and fear of being judged.

Second, you gave up some of the best years of your life and had wild fantasy sex with ultimately people who didn't amount to much in your life. Now your husband, who's made the ultimate commit to you for your companionship, finds out you gave up kind wild sex and had threesomes, likely something he's not gotten to enjoy, and from the sounds of it definitely not with you (the gender of the 3rd party is immaterial here). You know what, just read the parable of Mark & Lauren. It explains the point I'm trying to make quite clearly.

When it comes right down to it you rode the "cock carousel" in your youth and had your fill of "alpha fucks", while your husband became your "beta bucks". It's not your fault women are born with a pluralistic mating strategy. However, the fact you never told him about your past is proof positive you know you fucked up and were afraid he'd withdraw his commitment and/or negatively judge you for your past should he ever find out. Well now he knows and you have nobody to blame here but yourself for your past indulgences.

Ultimately this is a teachable moment for other women to be mindful of their sexual appetites and to control themselves in their youth. The man you marry down the road may find out what you were like back then and say "no thank you" when he does.

Speaking of the Parable of Mark and Lauren, here's the thread I made about it a while back:

/r/TheRedPill/comments/2qdfap/the_parable_of_mark_and_lauren/

[–]user_none 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good comment you added and would have likely stayed if the next to the last paragraph was changed to non-direct RP terminology.

The first rule is...

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Sweet Jesus,i'm kinda new to Reddit and i am only just starting to get into the various subreddits but stumbling upon r/relationships was staggering.

I take it this is a female dominated subreddit?

The posts and comments are quite shocking to me.

[–]Azzmo 32 points33 points  (0 children)

/r/relationships is largely used by lonely, angry people. There is an anti-male bias but I don't think that's nearly the largest problem. Users go to that subreddit not to offer objective advice or to help people, but to derive vicarious thrills from the drama of other peoples' mistakes and pain.

Their greatest crime, though, is that they often offer broken people advice designed to make the situation worse (all for that dopamine hit of causing more drama). It's one of the most disgusting places on the internet in my opinion because, while there are white supremacist and female supremacist and drama-mongering places where people circle jerk, at least they're honest about what they're doing. /r/relationships is like a therapist who actively tries to make their client's life worse.

[–]despoticVeracity[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Check out /r/relationship_advice and /r/sex for a good time too.

Not sure about gender balance, but it's pretty solidly BP.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man,these are even worse.Just a load of people looking to justify their shitty behaviour.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

r/relationships

It's the Maury Show of reddit

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily female dominated but progressively dominated. The younger generation is 'super liberal progressive' and 'everyone deserves to be free and not be judged and being openly sexual is okay and it's misogynist to shame sluts' and all that bull shit. That subreddit is absolutely full of those kind of people. They are the opposite of this subreddit.

[–]cock_pussy_up 56 points57 points  (6 children)

I like to bang them while they're still young and tight in slut experiment mode at 18-21. I don't want to marry them when they're 35 and looking for a sexless relationship with beta bucks.

The way this society tries to shame me for liking 18 yo punani and not wanting to settle into a sexless relationship with a used up middle aged woman with baggage is mentally retarded.

I'd rather jack off to sexy 18 yo bitches in porn and facebook / instagram photos than marry a used up leftover. Women need to prove their value to me in order to be worth commitment. If they're not going to give me the most valuable thing they'll ever have to offer (pussy in their prime) then why the fuck should I give them the most valuable thing I have to offer (lifetime commitment of resources)? Fuck that shit.

[–]George_l_rockwell 28 points29 points  (4 children)

The way this society tries to shame me for liking 18 yo punani and not wanting to settle into a sexless relationship with a used up middle aged woman with baggage is mentally retarded.

Don't bother trying to reason with these delusional people. They're the same people who will call you a pedo if you find a teen girl who's over the AOC attractive, but they think it's perfectly normal and healthy for a man to chop off his dick and get a surgical vagina.

[–]thedude122487 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex-fiancee and I met up at a bar for a few drinks about a year ago, she was 25 at the time. She started ranting on about how one of our friends from college (26M) is dating an 18F high school student. She said it was gross and was genuinely pissed off about it. I was greatly amused that she was so offended at the idea that a 26 year old man could be sexually attracted to an 18 year old girl enough to be in a relationship with her.

I wanted to hear her hamster logic so I kept egging her on, making her think I was agreeing with her to get her to say more. In her attempts to convince me that it's wrong, the only thing she actually succeeded in convincing me of is that she's jealous that she's not 18 anymore and she's slowly becoming aware of "the wall". (I was fortunate enough to LTR her when she was 17-22, in her prime.)

[–]1sailorJery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't it amusing? I almost posted an article by university of Texas that talks about how men innately find women with nice curves to be objectively more attractive than those who aren't because of prehistoric biological urges, yet when we talk about finding women who are more fertile (because of their age) attractive, suddenly we're creeps! lol Whenever people try and shame me for having a young girl I just try and get them to articulate why they think it's the case and they never can. They either shut up or get mad. It's hilarious.

[–]Redpillthriller 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Let's see.

College educated women.

Massive debt. Paid to get fucked by Chad thunder cock and the football team for 4 years. 4 years of feminist indoctrination.

Why would anyone date a college girl again?

[–]absolucion 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The wife didn't volunteer this information at any point because she knew it would upset him and he wouldn't want to be with her. People are killing the husband because "it's all in the past." He's made decisions about his relationship with this woman based on a lack of information. I'm sure if the tables were turned, the angry mob would raise their pitchforks and attack the poster and not the wronged partner.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Sure, I've molested a few children, but that's in my past!"

[–]Kite23 25 points26 points  (12 children)

Thats fucking gross, I couldn't deal with a woman who did that.

[–]George_l_rockwell 27 points28 points  (10 children)

A woman's sexual past speaks volumes about the kind of person that she is, so I can't blame you. What's really bad though is that this woman has only admitted to doing this. Most women don't admit to many things that they do, so she's probably done way more nastier stuff that she is keeping to herself. How anyone could marry a used up cum dumpster like this is beyond me. This just reeks of a 30 year old beta getting used up by a parasitic whore who can no longer attract Chad Thundercock anymore, so now she needs to settle down before she gets too old and disgusting for marriage. At the way things are going, I'm going to have to move to Eastern Europe or South America when I want to get married.

[–]SoldierGenerale 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Been there, same whores other cities.

You're never gonna find non-whores no matter where you go.

Even if the price of infidelity and slut-dom is the death-penalty (Saudi-Arabia) girls will still fuck. There just much better at hiding it.

[–]George_l_rockwell 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've been to South America before. There are many upper class broads there who usually won't fuck before marriage.

[–]skoobled 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...More like they're better at hiding their pieces of naughty

[–]totorox 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I tried to redpill a young girl of my acquaintances. "You know, the more partners you have, the less value you will have for a man of value willing to commit to you on the long term".

Her response: "That's very nice of you to care about me but I don't think about all that type of things now."

...Even though I had raised that point in my speech: when you will think about it it will be too late and you wont be able to roll time back.

So yeah. At least she got the talk. She's smart, she might do something with it before she's ruined.

[–]RPthrowaway123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never try to share the knowledge, no one will listen sadly

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, it's fun to run train on girls. Just don't marry em!

[–]barmaleo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yet another story of a girl under illusion that time can erase "Slut" sticker off her forehead.
Girls should cock ride with care not only because it can fuck them up mentally or ruin their life with unwanted child and all the pleasurses of single motherhood, or something along that, but also because in mens mind once a slut - always a slut. Women can't go backwards in terms of reputation. Irrational or not, it doesn't matter, what matters is that this stigma exists.
What pisses me off is that all women know about it since like middle school. Everone knows that the best way to bully and destroy a girl is to put out a rumor about what a whore she is, I dunno, that she slept with whole football team including coach, the mascott and the twink from the cheerleaders team. Every guy will know that this girl is not the one you date and buy flowers, she's the one you get really drunk, fuck in the bathroom and then call in your friends and pass her around while she's blacked out. Every chick dreads the whore sticker.
Yet somehow, people in the comments are talking some bullshit. Blablabla past is past blablabla husband should get over blablabla. Useless. She needs damage control, she needs to get rid of all her friends that know about her past (she's alredy doing it), she will have to lie and bullshit to weasel out and make the relationship healthy again.
In fact, I'm generally courious what a woman should do to save her face in a situation like this.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Whoring around catches up to you at some point.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

If a man has an once of self respect then he will leave her.

Sadly most men do not.

[–]MHOOD01 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Some have to suffer in order to wake up, unfortunately.

[–]totorox 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yup that's the standard prediction there. She will keep acting out like the washed up slut that she is, but he will only link her past whorishness to her present unsuitability as a life partner once she has raked him over the coals long enough.

If she was being honest she would write her OP as: "I fucked up, my husband knows I'm a loose whore now, what can I do?" and the answer would be "Leave him for his own good you dirty skank".

[–]GoldPisseR 14 points15 points  (8 children)

/r/relationships also advocated a woman's choice of hiding her incestual relationship with brother from her husband b'cuz 'nothing good will come of it'.

Female sexuality was repressed for centuries but now everyone is realizing how filthy majority of them are.Jesus ! Defending threesomes? Really?

[–]Sir_Shitlord_focker 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Aouch, poor guy, he married the girl we got tired of fucking in college.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Plenty of girls, including some hot girls, don't slut it up in their early 20s. Our society - and reddit - tries to act as if all girls can prodigious servings of dick on a weekly basis, but in reality, enough girls are avoiding the CC that there is never any reason to seriously LTR a CC rider. It might be the norm to CC ride, but there's plenty of exceptions. CC riders #1 argument is that all girls do it, if you want to be bothered by this then you'll never find anyone, 15+ guys by 22 is normal, etc. I used to think this was true, but then again, I mostly hung out around sluts as a product of where I lived at the time (LA) and who I was friends with. Went off to grad school only to find out that there's plenty of women who either avoided the CC or got on and realized what was wrong with it after 1-2 rides.

Do not accept the normalization of low-quality shit that permeates so much of modern society. You are told low quality health / fitness is beautiful, low quality sex life (once a month with a bored wife) is something to aspire to, and a low quality woman (no domestic skills, alpha widow, ex-CC rider, etc) is "all that there is because everyone's doing it."

[–]watersign 5 points6 points  (0 children)

eh..the younger crowd these days is pretty bad man.

[–]www777com 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"OP realises that her actions signal her unsuitability..."

I don't think that is the only realization. The other is that on some level he realizes she's not the woman every guy wants but few can have but rather many had her and even passed her around. His perception of her is forever tarnished.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What is Quality in a woman?

It's when a women accepts you as her Captain and is skilled in the Art of Charm in SERVING your needs while trying to manipulate things to go her way.

Women that ride the Cock Carousel actually learn the wrong lesson.

Typically all these hookups require is a young sweet smelling Vagina. Once that asset depreciates the importance of female Game (Charm) goes up.

The highest Quality women don't waste years riding the Cock Carousel because they are already stepping up their Game and Charming high value males with the hopes of securing a LTR or marriage.

So while it's "possible" that a woman will wise up, it's actually unlikely.

The odds are the woman has very little Charm and probably Shit Tests and Comfort Tests on a regular basis. If the guy is Beta he just thinks it's normal.

You would have to know what she is like from another persons perspective.

[–]grad14uc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think there should be any blame on the friend, or the husband. She was the one who has this baggage that she chose to hide. It's up to her now to make things right with him. As the saying goes, "you've made your bed, now lie in it."

You can't really blame the guy for being upset. He gets blindsided with this rather unpleasant truth. While divorce seems a bit much to me, everyone reacts differently to these things and you can't blame him for having a reaction different to your own.

[–]AugmentedFury 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I wouldn't be able to look at her the same way again.

I'd probably see her as a hole that every guy has used.

[–]TeflonDon3000 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Update on the situation:

Exactly. What do I have to lose? To protect his fragile ego, I have to start my life over at square one. I'll probably have to move in with my parents. I don't even know if I'll have a car by summer. I get why he's mad. I totally get it. He just didn't even give us a chance. He doesn't KNOW our relationship won't work out. He didn't even try. He fucking ran to his lawyer and excersized a contingency argreement without even TALKING TO ME. He's taking the cowards way out and it destroys my life in the process.

He got a divorce.

LOUD CHEERS ERUPT FROM TRP COMMUNITY

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were MMF threesomes, i.e., gangbangs.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women like this is like someone going into a bank applying for a mortgage loan but has a 100/800 credit score. The person might say, "im a different person now", "ive changed", "stop being so judgemental" but the bank doesnt care. It denies them the loan. Men should to the same to women.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

poor little guy found out his delicate little princess can be just as much of a dirty fuckin whore as the rest of them and cannot hack it. i guess we'll be seeing him writing posts on /r/TheRedPill soon

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (28 children)

Great post. The scary thing about this story is that if hubby didn't have this conversation with his wife's friend, he may never have found out that his wife was a mega slut.

Illustrates a few points.

When screening for LTRs, assume that every woman who attended college and/or is past her early 20s slutted it up. There are some who didn't, but they are the exceptions. Guilty until proven innocent.

Never ask a women directly about her past. They all lie, especially if they see you as boyfriend material and they definitely won't volunteer this information. The best source of intel is her friends, especially those who are single. Women have a built in jealous streak and will sabotage their "friend's" relationship in a heartbeat. Exploiting this is a great way to uncover skeletons in a womans' closet.

The best way to innoculate yourself against shit like this is to slut it up yourself before you even think about settling down. At the very least, this will sharpen your slut radar.

Hopefully they don't have kids yet. If not, hubby should drop her like a bad habit.

[–]1cover20 6 points7 points  (1 child)

She's 31 now. They've known each other 5 years. When they met she was a hot 26 year old, and he's staying with her now somewhat out of loyalty. (2 years of marriage and no kids, maybe they've been trying, it is a bit of a problem actually in that case and a clue to her reduced fertility.)

Now it turns out this former hottie lied to him and based on that he provided for her. And so he has a reason to back out and start over.

Hope he sticks with it and dumps her. Doesn't sound like she respects him anyway.

[–]joe_bruised_ego 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wonder to what extent she kept this from him because she was afraid it would make her less desirable to him, and to what extent it was because she didn’t want to give him what he wanted in the bedroom.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If Whitezilla and Lexington Steele put her on the spit roast, would they be touching dicks?

[–]Steve_Wiener 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was a pretty thorough analysis of the comments.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (16 children)

Well at least they weren't MFF threesomes. I have broken up with a girl because she gave her previous partner MFF threesomes but wouldn't do them with me. I like no contacted her right away.

[–]1cover20 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I think I'd rather that the girl was in an MFF half-fucking one guy, than an MMF fucking 2 guys.

[–]Bottled_Void 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Reality check here:

They met when she was 26. If she's an 8+, did he really expect her to be saving herself for the perfect man?

She had a boyfriend that was into threesomes with his roommate, he's acting like she was going to swingers parties every weekend. It probably boils down to, "You did [this] with another man but you won't with me."

If that's the deal-breaker and she's not worth it, fuck it, launch the nukes. Personally, I think he's trying to pick up a bargaining chip.

[–]tropicalpolevaulting 9 points10 points  (1 child)

If that's the deal-breaker and she's not worth it, fuck it, launch the nukes.

Should have fucking told him before they got really serious/when marriage came up for discussion. I'm pretty sure the dude wouldn't have taken it this hard if it had come up way earlier into the relationship.

[–]1cover20 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He didn't try to pick up that bargaining chip, it was thrown in his face.

[–]jckiker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you sure OP wasn't just paraphrasing the script from Chasing Amy?

[–]gggh0st 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I lived in a house with 2 other dudes in college. We were all in the same fraternity. Our frat had groupies that would come over and get run through pretty frequently.

It's so funny talking to the dudes they're engaged/married to at parties. So many of their relationship problems boil down to their S/O needing to get hammered and smash 10 dudes.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say I also did recreational drugs, drank a shit load, and fucked random sorority hoes pretty much weekly in college and I have grown out of it. I can also add, however, that I used drugs, drank constantly, and fucked loose women because I am a shitty human being. I am still a shitty human being, I just do other shitty things now that I'm 26 and that lifestyle is no longer viable.

I "grew" out of it, but the underlying pathology that made me that way is still 100% there. I tell chicks what went on in those days in the beginning of relationships now because it's the least shitty thing I can do.

[–]totorox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a shitty human being

You're not. SHBs dont think it, much less admit it.

I tell chicks what went on in those days in the beginning of relationships now because it's the least shitty thing I can do.

See? That's uncommonly ethical a behavior, even for good human beings. Hang in there brother.

[–]watersign 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats the thing though, alot of women are shitty human beings but they cant even grasp it or realize it themselves.

[–]PrometheusLight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It appears that there's something lacking in the discussion, which is that when women give their sex away, they give part of themselves away. Sometimes that part can grow back but sometimes it can't. Men have something like that too, which is that when they allow themselves to fall in love in a committed way, they give away a part of themselves which may take a while to grow back if it can be salvaged at all. I was a man slut in that way. I would throw my commitment at any girl who'd date me for longer than a month. I'd fall in love deeply. I was used for money more often than not. In fact, the last woman who used me like that admitted outright that she used me for money and was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. In other words, combined with her obvious excess of feminine hormones (obvious, big tits and curves) and complete lack of empathy making her a creature of pure instinct, I saw in her the ultimate and most selfish example of nature at work in a woman. Toward the end, I had the opportunity to read her diary as well. She had once slutted it up hard. She was mildly interested in me at first, and things might at least have led to a better place where I'd at least have gotten her sex. We came close to that, but that's when oneitis struck. My attitude toward her changed. I'd buy her presents out of the blue, send her cute loving texts, and I see now that at that moment I became a chump in her eyes, and that's when she really took advantage of me before dumping me. Another example was a previous relationship. She seemed honest in her love for me, but never gave me sex. I never "convinced" her. Again, we came damn close but at the moment I confessed my love for her it was over. After that, she became less affectionate over time until our year-long sexless relationship culminated in me crying, no, sobbing and wailing pitifully held in her then-emotionless, cold arms for about an hour. Those and similar experiences really took a toll on my ability to feel emotions at all, let alone love. I gave away my committed love far too freely and readily. In the same way, when women give their sex up too freely and readily they too become less able to love. I've healed over time and I know I can love again, but never again will I allow myself to fall for someone I'm not sure will truly love me back insofar as a woman can, and definitely not with a used up slut or before she's given me her body. I once thought men and women are the same. No. That was a mistake and both men and women suffer for making that mistake. A woman of healthy mind and body can't have sex without giving part of her self away. A man can. But on the opposite side a man can't give commitment emotionally without giving part of himself away. A woman can. Sluts of either kind are less likely to be able to commit on the innermost level, the only level that really counts. Of what good is it to marry someone who never stopped loving her first real alpha fuck? Unless you can beat him, which is almost impossible, have fun knowing deep down that you're hardly a man in your wife's eyes and that you'll never have her true love. I've had girls confess as much to me as friends about their current relationships. An extreme example, one who's 19 lost her virginity at 13. She told me she can only be in open "relationships" now. She still loves the "loser" who took her virginity and has been with 40 partners that she'd admit to. I hope no one has the misfortune of marrying her, someone who can't love, in a few years when she's past the wall. And just to fit the stereotype, she has 9 piercings on her face alone. Just don't get in serious relationships with girls like that. Girls with one or two face piercings might be doing it because their friends think it's cool. But shittons more means she's compensating for having torn herself apart. She's broken and no, you can't fix her Mr. Hero. Believe me. I, in my pre-RedPill ignorance, have tried.

[–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"His emotional feelings is not valid. Divorcing her would be wrong."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fact is he doesn't know his wife. her friends in college know her better than he does.

[–]thedude122487 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hat's off to the wife's friend for ratting her out. She is the only sane person in this story.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doing recreational drugs once a month!

Oh my lord, she's off the wagon, full blown addict! Hamster dismissed, case-closed she's an addict, she needs HELP! Fucking patriarchy making women drug addicts /s

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've got a no "spit-roast" and "air tight" rule for relationships. Husband is a loser for being dumb enough to get married in the first place, so who cares?

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