If you're in any sort of sexual relationship with a woman, one of the ultimate shit tests she can give you (short of threatening you/herself/others with harm) is withholding sex. She wants to see how much power she has over you and how much you will grovel for sexual access. The irony is that the more you grovel and supplicate, the less likely it is that you'll be having sex with her.
If you are spinning plates, the test is easy to pass - soft next her, go radio silent and move on to your other plates. In a LTR where you're living together, the test is much more difficult and passing the test usually involves more time and effort on yourself and withholding time/affection beyond what is needed to manage the kids and household.
Here's an illustrative example from my favorite "don't be that guy" sub, /r/deadbedrooms:
Before I threatened with divorce, our sex life was dead as a parrot. We had sex a few times a year. I felt miserable.
This was 4 months ago. Now we have sex once or twice a week.
Dread game works.
The other day, right after sex actually, I asked her how she could change like that overnight, and her explanation was that she "changed her mindset". That sounded so simple, so I asked her why she didn't do it earlier. I had tried to talk about our dead bedroom several times; sometimes whining, sometimes joking, sometimes dead serious, and the only effect was that she got defensive and angry. Up until that time when I said that I wanted a divorce. Only then she bothered to change. Her explanation made me feel cold and empty inside: She wanted to test how far she could go.
She's basically saying, "I was shit testing you" in non-TRP terminology.
Note that she knew exactly how unhappy he was with the lack of sex and yet she refused to change until he passed her test.
I naturally asked her how she could treat me like that, willfully withholding sex even though she know how much it was hurting me. She tried playing it down and explaining it differently, but I do think that she was actually withholding sex as a test. Testing what? How strong my love was to not leave her anyway? My assertiveness, to see how much shit I can put up with before I take measures? I don't know, but at least I now know that she wasn't withholding sex because she didn't understand how important it was for me.
Here the guy describes the purpose of a shit-test and how to respond to it using non-TRP terminology.
Takeaways from this story:
- The more your relationship resembles a LTR/marriage, the more important it is to pass shit tests.
- In an exclusive LTR, withholding sex is a very serious shit test.
- Your life as a man can become really miserable without basic knowledge such as passing shit tests and dread game.
- Men who go through this sort of misery eventually start to come to TRP conclusions after they've suffered enough abuse.
- When men like this discover TRP, they become fervent converts because they are seeing the truths in their lives confirmed and the lies exposed.