471
472
473

Red Pill TheoryHow Men Love / Male Commitment (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan

I've said this many times, and it always pisses off snowflakes and people who haven't really swallowed the red pill:

Man's love is sacrificial, women's is opportunistic. I think I've even alluded to this in the red pill constitution. Shit, I think Rollo also said something along these lines, although I came to this conclusion before reading his content. It is because our love is sacrificial, that we are romantic. It is because we can be better that all men are expected to be better although sadly, not all men will make it. (EDIT: Yep, it's points 11 and 12 in the constitution.)

Men are the romantic ones because they get so sacrificially invested in women, they commit to a point where the blinders come on and they stop seeing women for who they truly are, but rather what they wish them to be. This is how men are in love, irrational. They see them as what they want them to be because they don't want to think all their sacrifice is in vain. They have hope. They want to believe that women "are worth it." This is the power of your commitment gentlemen. It really is gold dust. Women may act like spoilt brats entitled to your love, but it's only because when you love - YOU TRULY LOVE. You provide tangible value both physically and spiritually - that is why your commitment is so powerful, that's what gives it worth, and sadly most men are entirely fucking unaware of how precious their commitment is, in fact society has got them thinking THEY'RE THE LUCKY ONES FOR GETTING THE GIRL!) It really is all fucking ass backwards.

I think even the Ancient Greeks said man's love has more depth than woman's, that men love more deeply. This is why whenever someone tells me "I'm lucky to have her" I say with the biggest shit-eating grin, right from the core: "No, you are mistaken - she is lucky to have me." It's always fun to gauge reactions in these scenarios - someone with a "red pill mentality" will understand, a blue piller will just think you're being cocky, they won't perceive the underlying thought behind that.

Your love for her transcends anything she is even capable of feeling for you. She likes to think her love for you is special and that nothing transcends that, but that's typical feminine ego. She values the intensity of her own emotions over objective reality. She is compelled to believe that because she feels strongly that her love is more precious/valuable than yours, but we don't measure love in how strongly it consumes you, but with HOW YOU BEHAVE because of what you feel. Objectively, the idea her love is more valuable than yours is patently false. All this bullshit about "owning the keys to her heart" is all egotistical feminine bullshit. Her heart isn't worth shit next to yours. Yes, as a man, her being in love with you is incredibly precious to you, but that's because you value the honeymoon phase, you value her portrayal of "youthful feminine innocence" when she is in love with you. But it is you that made all that possible, if you weren't the fucking shit, she would treat you like shit - that's how conditional their love is.

Objectively it is men that do more for women than vice versa, and they are expected to do so - and this is why these double standards seem so common in spite of all the feminist lunacy going on. Yes, there's a lot of doublethink going on, men are evil members of the patriarchy but they're also making all the sacrifices at the same time. It's so obvious, that when you put these contradictions next to each other you'd be hard-pressed to see how feminism even gained any serious legitimacy, but alas, that's what happens when culty ideologies such as third wave feminism take over all of society's core institutions. They preach until people know no better. There's an actual word for that. It's called inculcation.

This is also why the hierarchy of love is Men > Women > Children, women just can't love us in the way that we love them. This is why part of the mind fuck of the red pill for many men is that she gets to seek out daddy in a man - and has a shot at getting that, but if you seek out mummy in a girl - you're going to be sorely disappointed. The game isn't fixed like that, nature gave women the better deal on that front, she gets to have the man of her dreams, but the girl of your dreams is a unicorn - SHE DOESN'T EXIST. This all assumes of course said woman can obtain your commitment. Women without male commitment ARE DESPERATE to secure it from a man of value. The women who get that commitment are "the lucky ones," the rest become cat ladies. But at least women have a chance at getting "their knight in shining armour" aka, the high value man who commits and "loves them for them."

For men, there is no unicorn, you are always the final port of call, the love and the strength flowing downward from you throughout the family: to woman and child - good male friends are your only real refuge: not a woman (and don't make that mistake, it's a classic BP mistake to think you can entrust your insecurities/fears/secrets to your woman, you can't, and no matter how much she begs for you to open up, it's the most insidious of subconscious shit tests they pull, DO NOT DO IT IF YOU VALUE THE FUTURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP.) Consciously she wants to know, thinking it'll bring you closer. However unbeknownst to her, her lizard brain will make her think you're weak and she'll think less of you. She may even feel bad for thinking less of you, but she will and you can't undo that - so don't even bother. Women are so fucking flawed they don't even realise how flawed they are, that's why you have to listen to other men when it comes to dealing with women, and not the crap that women come out with.

You don't love a woman "based on what she can do for you" you love her because you've poured yourself, your essence, your aspirations, your time - into her. Women never love us like that, because they don't do that. We give and they take. At best, they support us enough to allow them to continue taking from us, but mark my words: relationships are a far better deal for women than they are for men, that's why they're so obsessed with them. They use us for our strength, they lean on us, they take our resources - and if they deplete us to a point of weakness: they discard us. You're no longer "man enough." Women are the biggest shit test nature ever threw at man, most men would find it easier to get to the moon than properly understand and manage a woman. Thank goodness for the collective brain power of men everywhere and with it: TRP.

Check out my blog: http://illimitablemen.com/archives/

For many, this post would be good enough to be blog material. For me, it isn't. I don't update much because I'm a perfectionist bastard (it could probably be considered obsessive compulsive.) Just a heads up to my fans - I'm not going anywhere.


[–][deleted]  (28 children)

[deleted]

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 94 points95 points  (5 children)

You learnt the hard way my friend: women are allergic to male weakness, it is a fallacy of thought to think you can bond over your vulnerability with a female partner because to do so is short-lived. As you have indicated, it will come back to haunt you. Wishing you all the best, I hope your wounds heal with time and understanding. Just don't make the same mistake again. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." - A saying from where I come from, it means "taking advantage of my naiveté was in poor form, but my inability to learn from my mistakes is far worse."

[–]copralalic 27 points28 points  (3 children)

In my experience there seems to be one exception to the female allergy to male weakness: if she can derive sympathy/social support from it, and if abandoning her male would bring her societal shame. A wife abandoning her husband and the father of her child because he has a brain tumor would be universally derided as a sorry piece of shit; even women have a limit to self-justification.

[–]antariusz 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's actually been scientifically studied among cancer patients (on my phone so I can't easily search for the paper). Usually a divorce will come about 5 years after a diagnosis. If the cancer is terminal, she won't leave the dying husband. Men however will tend to leave a relationship sooner. And will do so even if the prognosis is terminal. But less likely overall to split. It's virtually guaranteed for a wife to leave a husband if he doesn't die within 5 years.

[–]fentrix2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our if you do it, do it with purpose. I'll soon up some plates with this purpose in mind, knowing it won't last long. The ones I really like, I don't do this at all with (kind if why I need this)

[–]Namaste1994 36 points37 points  (8 children)

Holy shit... reading this just brought back painful memories of me and my ex's split. She too threw my insecurities in my face and told me joining the military was a "selfish decision and i should have told her" (like bitch what the fuck? I did it so i could serve my country and not be broke as fuck and drop out of college). I couldn't believe it. She took me at my lowest and spit all over me. I didn't want to throw her insecurities at her, i didn't think it'd be fair nor would it solve anything. So i walked away and wallowed for months until finding TRP randomly clicking random on the home page. Fucking small world after all AWALT.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Namaste1994 7 points8 points  (6 children)

    no way are we equal man, I'm just some 20 year old kid trying to find himself, you are established and that shit hurts a bit more. I do know that we'll both become even more successful and we'll certainly upgrade from what we used to have. Been over 11 months since her and nothing but self-improvement has happened in the last 3 months since finding TRP. Hang in there bud.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Did you graduate college? I'm the same age as you and still have a couple years until my BS. Did you do running start? I feel so fucking behind compared to other dudes my age.

    [–]Namaste1994 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Not yet. Im a Junior, i graduate May 2016. I went to Basic/AIT after my freshman year for 11B(infantryman) and i got back with like 3 days to move out of my house and back into my apartment so i had super good timing. Im also studying Philosophy so it's a standard 4 year degree, not sure what your major (maybe engineering because they normally stay for an extra semester or 2 because of internships)

    What's running start? Don't feel behind. You've done more than most already

    [–]unassumingusername7 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    I don't want to be a dick dude but change your major. They aren't hiring at the big philosophy firm anymore.

    Source: I have a philosophy degree and no job. Currently working on a second, employable degree.

    [–]Namaste1994 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Haha, i wouldn't have it any other way. Im going into the Army after college and will have a job. Im getting cards lined up for a job in Federal law Enforcement in the Southwest after college as well. I needed a 4 year degree for a job in the upper echelons of Federal jobs. I enjoy the subject material, the changes it's caused within, etc. Im going to college for free and I'm coming out with a job. It's a win/win my friend. Appreciate the concern though.

    [–]unassumingusername7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Sounds like a good path. I agree that the material is very interesting, and I've found it to be applicable to my life. Congrats on the free education!

    [–]Namaste1994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Haha! Thanks, It's always good to get school for free!(not really, being a [bigger] slave to the government works too!)

    [–]Endorsed Contributornyrp 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    It's disgusting. I dealt with something similar recently, but not nearly that bad. My heart goes out to you and hope you keep getting stronger!

    [–]RonMexico2012 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I hope you are doing well also. It will get better!

    [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    The pernicious part is that once they've decided they're done with you, they'll lob every barb and salvo at you in an attempt to completely scorch the tie between you. Her specific words aren't her true feelings, not entirely; she's simply using what she knows will get the desired negative feelings out of you, to facilitate the split. If attacking your lack of ambition will hurt you, then that becomes her main contention.

    Understand that women are ruthlessly Machiavellian, and that they're far better at this type of emotional manipulation than men are.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    These types of criticisms from your woman are easy to deflect to protect your emotional state: "I'm that bad, huh? So what does that make you?"

    [–]1jb_trp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Man, I feel you brother. I've been there. My last LTR did the exact same thing. She used to throw out little questions (very playfully, deceptively): “What do you think would ever cause us to break up?” And I would be very open with my answers (e.g. “If you started hanging out with another man, etc.”). Little did I know her hamster of a brain was collecting recon to use when she was ready to end the relationship.

    I mean, this woman could have been a RP case study: The shit tests, the hamstring, the solipsism, everything. She used to talk about what an “amazing” girlfriend she was and how she “never broke up with the guy, they always break up with me” (What an angel!). She used to talk about how much the movie Eat. Pray. Love. meant to her during her divorce. I even remember cuddling up on the couch with her a week before the breakup, her hands running over my chest, swooning over me.

    And then she was gone.

    And when she left it was fucking scorched earth. All my fears and insecurities—all the recon she had done for months—was just thrown in my face. I couldn’t “step up and meet her needs and be a man.” Everything we shared before and all the things I did for her meant nothing (Briffault’s Law). And that pain and heartache hurt.

    Sigh. Heal up, brother. I hope you’re doing well.

    [–]exposed_knees 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Me and you have walked down that exact path. This describes what happened to me and does so in no shallow way either.

    [–]RonMexico2012 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    have you been in another LTR since?

    [–]exposed_knees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No, I lost all interest in relationships.

    [–]CornyHoosier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I broke it off with a woman once and she went on a tangent about my dead father. It had nothing to do with my family or relationships ... I just didn't believe she was a nice person.

    Thankfully, is was the assurance I needed to know I was making the right decision.

    [–]Truebluehere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's actually impressive. Went through something similar. Was working at a wealth management company, making good money in a difficult industry. Payed for her trip to Europe. Steered her towards a grad school that would pay her way, even though it was much farther from me, or her family, it left her with virtually no debt. I then lost my job, had a gruesome injury that needed surgery. Within the year, while it was unraveling. She told me I wasn't a man... I was literally at one of my lowest points in my life, lost a wonderful job, not able to use my body, play sports, something I did weekly since I was 5 years old, showed a dent in my armor, expressing ever so slightly I was having trouble, "not sure what was wrong with me" And here is the woman I thought was a unicorn, telling me, after I travelled several hundred miles to see her, closer to a couple thousand, that I am not a man.

    I knew then it was over.

    [–]heatyourpipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This resonates so hard with me. Your story and OP's both.

    They use us for our strength, they lean on us, they take our resources - and if they deplete us to a point of weakness: they discard us. You're no longer "man enough."

    This line gave me chills. Had an LTR of 6 years. First few years were great bc I naturally had RP tendencies. As years went by she slowly chipped away at me, she got me to open up, to tell her my biggest insecurities. I became jealous, controlling, a beta, just plain weak. No wonder why she left me, I became of no use for her anymore. Now that I have found this sub I've revamped myself and see women the way they truly are. I am now lifting more than I ever have, spinning plates, and overall loving my life and new experiences. TRP is truly eye opening.

    [–]whatisinausername_ 63 points64 points  (6 children)

    Man's love is sacrificial...

    I read in this scientific study on happiness that...

    ...Our worldviews are heavily emotion-laden, and, in extreme cases, we will sacrifice our personal life for our cause. Jones compared self-sacrificing heroism to “almost sexual enjoyment” [33] and Gopnik used the term “explanation as orgasm” [34]. (emphasis mine)

    This is another reason that you should not make women your cause, because it can be pleasurable as fuck to sacrifice yourself for your cause. And paradoxically, if you sacrifice yourself for a woman, it is very likely that she'll just leave your ass once you've ruined yourself in sacrificing yourself to please her.

    Your trip down the self-sacrificial hole might make feel some kind of pleasure, but once you hit the bottom, you'll be bitchless and you'll have enough pain to last a lifetime.

    If your going to sacrifice yourself for a cause, make it a worthy one. A piece of pussy is NOT FUCKING WORTH SACRIFICING YOUR LIFE FOR.

    [–]SullenBarLurker 22 points23 points  (3 children)

    Shit, it's like you are narrating my current situation. Time to find a worthy cause and stop sacrificing my well being for an archetypal Alpha-widow.

    Gave up a well paying job to spend more time with her and organise her life better because, as much as I hate to think it, she was/is my cause. Ended up moving in, now I'm stuck making less than her and feeling like shit.

    She doesn't even see me as human as far as I can tell. Keeps bringing up previous relationships like she hit her peak and she is settling for me. I swear if it wasn't for the fact I'm close to her physical ideal, I would have been thrown out with the garbage by now.

    Can't even remember how I found TRP, feel like I'm only now coming out of the anger phase. Still lost in the woods, but this place is getting me closer to a positive destination. Time to start looking for something worthy to spend my time on, like finding a better job and a flat. Until then I'm stuck in this hell. Consider this a cautionary tale.

    TLDR; Made a woman my cause, reaped what I sowed.

    [–]copralalic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    It's been one year since I found TRP. Anger has faded, harder lessons still settling in. YMMV. Good luck, sir.

    [–]the99percent1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    When a girl starts talking about her ex, soft next her.

    [–]laere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get out before it gets worse.

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Haha, say it like it is man.

    Indeed, a man must always put his mission and himself before his woman.

    [–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (31 children)

    This is still the biggest struggle for me; to be attractive to quality women you have to be successful but if that success were to go away so would the attraction.

    So what's the point of committing to someone for who they are when their committment is contingent on your success

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 53 points54 points  (20 children)

    If she doesn't need you, she doesn't want you. Don't trust in women's whims, trust in your ability to be a boss, understand her nature better than she does and thus manage her appropriately. The west is so sick that I don't think a non-Machiavellian man can stop a woman from blowing everything up. Things are so sick here, society does none of the work (not religion, not her family) - so you as a man have to do all the work to teach her the correct values/behaviour. You have to play her emotions like a fiddle and have a fucking place where you shit in her mind just to get her to act right - to be a decent person. That's fucked up, but that's what all this feminism necessitates, you need to be able to match poison to thrive in toxicity. Or to use a better known phrase: you fight fire with fire.

    Most men shouldn't even think about an LTR until they've built themselves up, and they should always keep certain barriers in place, eg: LTR without marriage, never tell her all your secrets, don't show her any vulnerability that may threaten either of your survival, it will just make her insecure and throw more and more shit tests at you as a symptom of said insecurity.

    Always hold a part of yourself back, out of reach from her access. Your best bud should know more about you than your LTR. The whole "me and my partner are best friends" is the whole soul mate myth disney bullshit that polite society spews. It's all nonsense. There is equality in friendship, there is no equality in relationships.

    You accept how shitty it is and think "fuck it" anyway, or you MGTOW. Patriarch game for the 35+ guys aching to create mini versions of themselves requires much caution, planning, pre-screening and meticulous execution. I'm not pro-marriage, I think it's a terrible idea due to the unacceptable risk factor, but if you're married in the Philippines they don't grant divorces (it's illegal to get divorced) so that might be something to consider. If you want a family you need to be in a conservative society. Liberal societies just breed whores who don't know how to appreciate men and they put themselves above family - bad mother/wife material. Even if you do find a needle in a haystack in the west, she is surrounded by media and other fucked up women feeding her full of feminist bullshit. That's another topic entirely anyhow. Ultimately, as men, we all have to plan quite tactically how we're going to play this shit out. I can't give you a foolproof way to "head the family you always dreamed of having" - that'd be some snake oil salesman shit, one must simply stack the deck in their favour if they're going to make the attempt. We've got our work cut out for us.

    [–]copralalic 18 points19 points  (18 children)

    You have to ... have a fucking place where you shit in her mind just to get her to act right

    The first time I did this, the very first time I did this deliberately, on purpose, just to get what I wanted... I felt like a bitch. Like a manipulative cunt scheming to get my way. It was not a good feeling.

    I don't enjoy doing it, but it is necessary. It makes me love her less every time I do it, which insanely causes her to love me more when she senses it. Why does it work? Intellectually it makes sense, but it's just wrong. On a cellular, existential, atomic-quantum-string level it should not work, but it Always. Fucking. Does.

    Love is so fucked up I won't even say the word anymore.

    [–]SamFisherSpy 27 points28 points  (10 children)

    THIS right here, messes me up. I sabotage relationships before they even start now because I'm disgusted at myself for what I have to do to pick up women.

    I've worked so hard to transform from a pushover to becoming an honest and direct person, but with women (especially hotter ones) you HAVE to pretend you're not interested, play stupid games, act borderline sociopathic, and literally mindfuck them in order to keep a relationship.

    That's how utterly devoid of integrity and morally bankrupt these women are. I want something more meaningful than a hookup, but I constantly find myself sabotaging things before they even begin, because I'm disgusted at my behavior for what actually gets women to do what you want them to do.

    [–]copralalic 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    At some point I assume I will 1) get used to it, 2) find someone with whom it is not necessary/frequent, or 3) quit attempting relationships.

    [–]BlackHeart89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Might as well kick #2 out the window because at the core level, AWALT.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 9 points10 points  (7 children)

    I've worked so hard to transform from a pushover to becoming an honest and direct person, but with women (especially hotter ones) you HAVE to pretend you're not interested, play stupid games, act borderline sociopathic, and literally mindfuck them in order to keep a relationship.

    Exactly, that's the fun part! Playing the game the way it was meant. Life is one big game and you can't drop your cards unless you die. Might aswell accept it and have fun playing it right?

    [–]SamFisherSpy 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    I dunno man I'm not there yet and I don't know if I ever will be. I've changed from blue pill and horrifically beta, to standing up for myself and being open forward and direct. I'm going to stop short of providing details as this isn't my thread and honestly its very embarassing, but I didn't exactly have a good upbringing, so it took a ridiculous amount of courage to even start this.

    Sometimes when I do certain things it's liberating, other times I feel like I am going way too far. The open direct & honest part has taken a few years and it's been pretty set for about a year. That feels great. But the times I intentionally manipulated a situation.. it didn't feel good, it just doesn't feel good to me. Call me a failed TRP'er, but I don't like manipulating people, I just don't. The dishonesty and guilt eats at me.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    I get you man. I wish girls could like me for ME. I don't want to play these calculated games.

    A few weeks ago I was hitting up this gorgeous tall model chick. She gave me the stiffest shit-tests. 'Don't touch me - stand over there - I want to dance by myself' All that bitchy eastern-european crap. It wasn't till I pushed her away, grabbed another beautiful girl and gave her the middle-finger that she started acting right.

    I ended up pulling her home and fucking her. Manipulation and lying is just part of the game and besides you're taking it way too serious. Anything that happens on the first night doesn't fucking count.

    You're still soft bro and this world is fucking hard. It's a beautiful world but it's use or get used. Eat or get eaten. Such is life.

    Change your mindset. The way I see it is like this. That girl that you 'manipulated' into fucking you? That girl is going to get fucked by someone. Might aswell be you right?

    [–]SamFisherSpy 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    You are right, and I know you are. It just messes with me. I suppose life tends to force change out of us anyway, so we'll see what happens. In the meantime I come here a lot to learn from those ahead of me.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Absolutely, life has a tendency to brutally stomp the weak idealistic thoughts out of you.

    Don't come here to often though. Live in the real world and GAME. Nothing teaches you more rp truths than interacting and fucking hot girls. They will brutally cut you down if you're weak, so it forces you to get stronger.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So fucking true, rp truths are impossible to not see if you know anything about them.

    [–]1beerthroway 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    You're looking at "manipulation" the wrong way in my opinion. Manipulation has negative connotations, but what are you really doing with these girls? You're doing an action that you know will create a feeling within them. The positive and negative aspects are human assigned values that do not exist in nature.

    Is it a positive thing that humans must kill something else to live? Is it negative? No, it just is. It is reality.

    Is it a negative or positive thing that children like being commanded to do something? What about women? Does that make it manipulation?

    What I'm pointing out here is nihilism, basically. That humans are the ones that call reality good or bad and assign ideals of how it should or shouldn't be. All we can do is understand reality and how to deal with that reality, anything else is just hamstering (Guys do it too).

    All that matters is not if something is good or bad, but rather if an action creates a desired effect. Cause and effect.

    If your "manipulation" of women creates in them feelings of attraction and they feel good, why should you feel bad for creating that? Perhaps you would if they didn't enjoy the circumstances, but you know they do enjoy it, because they are hedonistic and seek pleasure. Fuck, they are addicted to it and that's why they keep running back to that kind of manipulation.

    This is a good post and I suggest reading it: http://www.nihil.org/nihilism/frequently-asked-questions-about-nihilism

    Also, you might find the book "Radical Honesty" by Brad Blanton insightful. You talk about being open and direct and I think it may help expand on those concepts.

    [–]SamFisherSpy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well I just recently painted myself into a corner (again) that is going to get me stuck for quite a long time but I intend to check both the link and the book. I like that there's a Kindle edition. I have a couple days off pretty soon, maybe I'll check it out. Thank you man.

    [–]TomSachs 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Can you give me an example? I can't really tell specifically what you guys are talking about.

    [–]copralalic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Google "Beige Phillip brackish bitch". It's mainly for drama-addicted women, but all women need it to a certain extent. Dante Nero explains it well.

    [–]tropicalfire 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Do you mind giving an example of what you did, or what he meant?

    [–]copralalic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Beige Phillip has a bunch of material on this, if you can google up "brackish bitch". She is woman who thrives on drama, so sometimes you have to invent it just to keep her happy.

    In my case I had to check her by reminding her non-verbally what it would be like not having me around, while simultaneously giving her a shot of reality regarding our respective levels of romantic options. Women think that their pussies are platinum, while the truth is that they are pretty much interchangeable, and she had to be reminded of that.

    Doing this was not in line with my previous BP ideals of partners caring for each other out of mutual kindness and respect, therefore it felt unnatural. Logically it is very defensible, but emotionally the first time you do it, it feels like a shitty thing to do.

    [–]the99percent1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Because it shows her that you can dominate her.

    [–]diglyd 26 points27 points  (2 children)

    The issue here is how you define success. There are women with men of all sorts of socio-economic levels. My neighbor's wife for example worships the ground her hubby walks on and they have been married for 17 years and he is a dry wall contractor making about $50k a year. Not riches by any means. She is a pre-school teacher/nanny.

    Why? because he acts like a man and does not put up with any of her shit tests. When she has one of her days he gives her the finger and goes to hang out with the guys. They love each other and she constantly tries to pull shit and he takes none of it. Zero! He won't let it even go an inch before he puts her in her place.

    You can commit to someone as long as you have inner strength that isn't contingent on what type of job you have or your circle of friends or whatever other bullshit you think is important. When you can lose everything and know that you are still the man and you can get yourself up and provide your SO with balance and knowledge that you handle your shit she isn't going to leave even when she pulls shit like she might.

    The attraction will go away when you lose your success if you base your life around that...when said success is all you are and how you measure yourself. A man who defines himself as successful and draws strength from within himself because he went through shit and realized that he is the master of his life and ultimately himself regardless of his temporary circumstances will still attract females.

    If you define yourself/measure yourself through external and material things then you are not successful and you are ultimately worth nothing because the moment those things are gone what do you have left? The chick knows this and won't stand for it since you have nothing to offer her at that point.

    The key therefore is to learn to value yourself because you are a man based on all the things you can create and provide as a man that other man cannot provide which is your unique approach to life, your sense of self, your drive, your mission, your body, your time, your mind and ultimately your money that comes from a combination of all those things. However your money and success should not define who you are but should be tools and by products of the mental fortitude you have and the mission you are undertaking.

    [–]PrometheusLight 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    The "not put up with any of her shit tests" reminds me of a funny anecdote. A man I know related that once, as a boy in late 1930s Mexico, he walked over to a mechanic friend's shop/home. The mechanic, in his 30s, sat and talked with him a bit as he worked out in front. He yelled to his 17- or 18-year-old wife to make him some coffee. She just silently dawdled there in front with a grumpy demeanor. After some moments passed, the mechanic took her, bent her over his knee and calmly said "When I say I want something done, I want it done immediately". In Spanish, "immediately" is "inmediatamente". As the mechanic said "inmediatamente", he'd pause after every two syllables and spank her with the handle of his hammer. "Inme" spank "diata" spank "mente" spank. He did so right there, out in the open on a relatively busy street. Red with embarrassment, she cowered into the house and quickly had the coffee ready, and a bonus extra one for the boy. You can bet she loved her husband more because of that and likely gave him special bedroom treatment that night.

    [–]diglyd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Great story!

    its funny every single one of my neighbors is in some sort of trade job (construction, heavy equipment operator, general contracting, electrician, landscaping, dry wall, handyman etc) and the one thing they all have in common is a zeo tolerance policy toward their women or any women who try to shit test them or who play games or act like bitches.

    Just like the guy in your story they have no problem making an example of their girlfriends publicly or in front of me or anyone for that matter. It doesn't matter what it is, when the guy says "bring me a beer, she either does it or she gets punished on the spot for it and then sent out to get beer".

    Just last week I was hanging out at one of their houses with his other buddies and his fiancee rolled in from work. She started to complain about something about her day and he just yelled...."Go clean the kitchen" and "go pick up some beer", then went back to talking to us without even skipping a beat.

    She came over made some comment about how she wasn't his slave, he looked at her with lazer eyes, grabbed her by the hand, and pointed at the kitchen telling her to beat it and go buy beer

    He then started to tell us how he isn't giving her any sex (and hasn't for the last 2 weeks) until she learns to clean the dishes after herself, and fold her clothes and whatever else drives him nuts.

    Sure enough she spent 20 minutes in the kitchen then went to get beer came back all smiles and happy to hug her man. He still kept going about how she needs to clean her shit and kept giving her crap for most of the night and everytime she kept rolling her eyes, and he would just tell her she is going to get grounded. At one point she said "he might give her a bj" if she cleans up tomorrow since its been a few weeks and she is finally figuring it out.

    These guys just don't put up with drama or bullshit.

    Their jobs are often physical where their bodies get beat up, and they hang out with other guys who are physical and who are aggressive and who get shit done on their own and who take care of their own.

    Now compare that to your local white collar office job everyone is jis passive agressive. I work in IT and all I see is passive aggressive walking vaginas every single day.

    Everyone is walking on glass, afraid to make waves and they all act as politically correct as possible. People never say how they really feel or ever say no especially to a woman. Most of their wives run their lives and they are just walking paychecks.

    That scene from Fight Club always pops into my head when I see this type of passive-aggressive middle manager office workers where the guys try to start a fight with random people on the street and the movie shows how far people will go to avoid conflict.

    Yet the guys I live around are all about conflict resolution. Unlike the passive aggressive white collar beta dude they have no qualms telling someone even someone of authority that they are wrong and that they are fucking up and they use that language.

    They have no qualms putting an end to female bad behavior before is even starts or they put a stop to it immediately when it starts or the moment they feel disrespected.

    Most of the women these guys attract are strong willed women who can't stand weak men and will go as far as to call out some dude who has a vagina with a "wtf? why are you acting like such a vagina or did you get your panties in a ruffle?" comment.

    They rule their household with a firm but fair hand. None of their kids are out of line, and their women are loyal to them. I think allot of that comes from the type of men they are and the type of jobs they have.

    If I ever need some straight up guy advice that isn't flowered up with bullshit they are the guys I talk to because they will cut straight through all the bullshit and get right to the point.

    The only other people I have ever seen that have the same attitude as blue color/trade/contractor people are top CEOs/and VPs of some companies or small business owners who built something out of nothing and who employ a dozen or so people. All middle management and worker bees in major companies are typically vaginas too afraid to act like men for fear of being labeled or singled out and punished.

    [–]NightGod 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    So what's the point of committing to someone for who they are when their commitment is contingent on your success

    The answer is simple: don't fail.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 8 points9 points  (5 children)

    Impossible, success is the combined effort of lots of failures.

    There always elements out of your control that will cause you to fail.

    The point is to not be winning all the time but to be a winner.

    [–]NightGod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Actually what I meant. Yes, there will be small failures: it's just a natural part of the path to success. If you aren't failing, you aren't pushing your limits and if you aren't pushing your limits, you're not truly learning how far you can go. But that's not truly failure, that's learning. I was talking about failing overall. And, as you said below, don't let her see you suffer through those small failures: if she sees anything at all, she should see it ignite a fire in you to come back twice as hard the next time.

    [–]RonMexico2012 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    exactly. if you're not failing at times, you are not really trying.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    So true, but don't let your girl see you struggle or fall. She's not your coach or psychiatrist and will lose respect.

    I was a middleweight boxer and killed myself to make the weight-class for a tournament. After winning it and becoming the national champ my girl was proud, but only temporarily before telling me to move up in weight because it wasn't fair that I was beating up on smaller guys...

    Even when you're wining, you're never really winning. It took me so fucking long to realise what she was doing.

    The bitch was poison-dripping me. She had an alfa champion as a boy-friend and discredited my achievements so she could turn me into a beta. Girls will always try to turn you into a loser. It's in their nature to sabotage you. When you lose confidence and become a beta you can't go out and attract other girls anymore and that will make her more secure. Don't ever fall in this fatal trap. I'm pretty sure your girl did the same to you even if it was extremely subtle. Things like 'don't go to the gym, baby. I like you just the way you are'.

    Ps. Good luck you fellow doctor. I'm in uni studying medicine and I want to become a physician too.

    [–]newls 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    They're not trying to sabotage you, it's shit-testing. They want to feel like their bullshit tests will not faze you in the slightest. They want to feel your strength and stoicism.

    They will prod you and poke you at a time when you're feeling at your best so they know that you will be strong enough to smirk at their silly nonsense.

    Most men are too indoctrinated by feminism or deprived of female attention (usually the latter) they will answer or react to try to please the woman, which disgusts her and gradually turns him into more of a beta male.

    Even women themselves don't consciously know why they do it. There was a girl who came here and said she did ask quite penetrating questions of her bf and she didn't really know why she poked and prodded him so much.

    But she was aware enough to know that his responses (smirking at her stupidity, being brutally honest) made her love him more.

    Happened to me in a way. I was hopelessly in love with my girlfriend at the time that I was about to break into the pros. But I gradually showed beta traits over time and in my first performance of the season I very publicly injured myself in front of the whole crowd.

    At first she was borderline sociopathic in how cold she was with me. "Did you really injure yourself?" Her parents were there and were pretty disgusted with how cold she was with me, and she came to her senses a little bit and became sweeter.

    However only a week after that she left me. She'd gotten some relatively well-paying job (that I'd spent fucking hours helping her prepare for doing mock interviews and aptitude tests) and knew she'd probably meet a bunch of guys who were also on the same money she was. I was just training 24/7 not making any money yet.

    Briffault's Law - they will completely disregard any good deeds you've done for them and will make up any kind of bullshit to hamster their emotions. When you're at your most vulnerable they will poke and prod you with a sharp stick, and leave you at a whim.

    Her parents were pretty furious with her. Like "he's going to be a pro athlete in the next few years and he loves you." But you don't logic the hamster into feeling the tingles for someone. I understand that now.

    However after finding TRP I actually understand her actions now and almost don't blame her. It definitely helps you through the anger and confusion of past breakups.

    Ask a girl to define "loyalty", and she'll happily write you an excellent 2,000 word essay with citations. Ask her to stay loyal to a soldier boyfriend during a 6-month tour and she'll be on someone else's cock within the week.

    Pay attention to what they do, not what they say.

    About six months later I turned pro. Deleting the message she sent me not long after it was publicly announced was quite satisfying.

    [–]SoldierGenerale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Happened to me in a way. I was hopelessly in love with my girlfriend at the time that I was about to break into the pros.

    Sucks for you bro, but hopelessly in love is still hopeless. You can be Brad Pitt dating an average 6 and if you treat that girl like she's better than you. The crazy bitch will start seeing herself as better than you and leave your ass. For some reason John Lennon and Yoko one come to mind.

    At first she was borderline sociopathic in how cold she was with me. "Did you really injure yourself?" Her parents were there and were pretty disgusted with how cold she was with me, and she came to her senses a little bit and became sweeter.

    You were dating a legitimate psychopath, that's not a normal response.

    They're not trying to sabotage you, it's shit-testing. They want to feel like their bullshit tests will not faze you in the slightest. They want to feel your strength and stoicism.

    There are the shit-tests and the poison-drips. Shit-tests are the ones where she wants you to pass so she gets more turned on. They're quite obvious and easy to spot. The poison-dripping is when a girl tries to turn you into an insecure beta slowly over time so you can't leave her for some other chick.

    Here's the main man explaining it himself.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0TT4BeiNic

    [–]Senior ContributorRedPope 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    At best, they support us enough to allow them to continue taking from us

    All you new guys, take out a pad of paper and write that sentence 20 times. That is the best you'll get from your woman.

    There is a limitation -- a "glass ceiling" -- on how far any woman will go in support of a man. She will only reinvest a portion of the sum (time, attention, money, help, affection, care) that you are giving her. Beyond that point, you become a bad investment.

    Your girlfriend's clock is ticking faster than yours. She needs a winner. She can't waste her life propping up someone weaker.

    So why do you?

    [–]ManOfGrapes 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    And this is why I come to this sub every single day, it's a constant reminder that the fairytale ending is not real. It took a lot to get the dynamic I wanted in the relationship I have now, and one of the things that helped me get to that point was telling myself to remain distant emotionally, because I am not naturally Machiavellian as /u/IllimitableMan pointed out.

    [–]www777com 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    When a woman says she loves you, she's only telling you how she feels right now.

    When a man says he loves you, he's either:

    • lying because he has an ulterior motive

    • saying it back so she doesn't have mental break down

    • when he really means it, it's pledge, a vow! When a man says he loves you and means it, those words are more powerful than those words coming from any woman.

    [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (3 children)

    I legitimately wish I were gay.

    [–]TellMeYourFears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    THE GRASS IS NEVER GREENER

    [–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 25 points26 points  (4 children)

    Men who have many women vying for them do not dwell on a fantasy. I suspect more than anything that most men believe in the "one" because they aren't afforded the same opportunities as an attractive male.

    For a lot of these men, there is an abundance of cognitive dissonance at play. They look at other women who don't want them the way they swoon after other men, with disdain. But they end up holding hope that the one who is for them is out there.

    You can thank society in all its forms (peers, feminists, media, etc.) for influencing that mindset.

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Men who have many women vying for them do not dwell on a fantasy.

    I understand where you're coming from, but I think it's something deep-seated in men that goes far deeper than merely "ego based on options/self-worth."

    I know a natural who used to slay it, he got into a relationship, his testosterone levels dropped yes, this is a thing and despite his options, his girl's charm had him thinking she's a unicorn.

    Mind you, this natural has a low psychopathy score (in my estimation.) Guys with high psychopathy tend to align more with your assertion, naturally, this isn't most men.

    [–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know a natural who used to slay it, he got into a relationship, his testosterone levels dropped yes, this is a thing[1] and despite his options, his girl's charm had him thinking she's a unicorn.

    I've seen that as well, but what Invalidity said above I think is more the rule, and what you're saying about a natural being charmed into thinking she was a unicorm is more the exception. If my friend who went down that same path is in any way similar to the natural you saw do that, i'll bet he's got intimacy or self-worth issues and all the hooking up was a way of feeling better about himself. Suddenly a decent woman (at least in his eyes) comes along and gives him a kind of intimacy he wasn't used to and BAM! he's hooked. It's ultimately just a different kind of scarcity mentality.

    [–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I suspect more than anything that most men believe in the "one" because they aren't afforded the same opportunities as an attractive male.

    I can give you a dozen reasons why I've come to the same conclusion, but I'm not going to bother. The honest truth is that most men have crippling scarcity mentality and so they latch onto "the one" as soon as a woman they actually find somewhat attractive gives them a scrap of attention/intimacy.

    [–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Reality will hit hard soon enough. I still hope to come across, "The One". But I know better.

    I've made it up in my mind that I'll settle for the next best thing. A smart women who realizes her value in relation to me and stupid she would have to be to fuck it up.

    [–]PrometheusLight 20 points21 points  (5 children)

    It seems like a man's love is a lot like a parent's love for his children. A woman's love is like the more diminished love a child displays for its parents. The parallels between parent/offspring psychology and man/woman psychology are undeniable. If you notice, more spoiled children tend to show less love to their parents, while those whose parents were more distant in several ways work harder to earn their parents' love.

    As an aside, unicorns do exist but are so rare you must never hope to find one. Don't even try. I only say this because I knew one from very young. She had hormonal problems as far as I can remember, really weird ones. For example, she had hypothyroidism yet didn't gain fat. Her lack of estrogen caused ovarian cysts before she was treated yet she has a healthy, feminine frame. Small tits but not abnormally small, and very attractive face and youthful in appearance. As a result of having grown into her 20s with said then-undiagnosed conditions, she developed a male way of thinking even while being straight. She never had strong urges to date anyone, not even sexual urges that might come with her regular cycle. She excelled at STEM studies. She fell in love with a guy who was obviously below her physically and, while intelligent, socially weak (easily depressed, cries a lot, shy). It was afterward that her hypothyroidism and lack of estrogen were diagnosed. The daily estrogen pill, she says, made her hyper-emotional. She could listen to a humorous song and cry spontaneously at it from a sudden rush of sadness. So she'd only take that pill before bed to sleep through the insanity. The hypothyroidism pill made her feel more energetic in general. She never lost her male mentality. Despite her husband's problems and weakness, she loves him deeply, almost like a mother would love her wayward son. No one else likes him, by the way. That fat, weak motherfucker hit the goddamn jackpot, but only because a cocktail of very unusual lifelong health conditions brought about this male-minded-yet-heterosexual woman's existence even while not diminishing her overall health or attractiveness. So, there's your unicorn, but all in all you may never even glance upon one in your lifetime, let alone meet one. I've never even heard of a single other woman who could come close to having these ideal traits.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    There's a simple way to solve it. Kill him and take his bitch.

    Woman: Umm do I get any say in this?

    [–]Autosleep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Outliners will always exist, but to expect comfort from those is to feed on an illusion.

    You only have a short lifetime to seek happiness, make the best out of it with the best odds/risk you can have, desiring fortune from a lottery ticket is a waste of your time, you can add unicorn seeking to it.

    [–]totorox -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    So that guy is you? ;D Come on you can tell.

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    This is how men are in love, irrational.

    Sadly, this is (seemingly) the only irrational thing we do. Every other thought and action and decision besides the ones we make for love are completely rational.

    Fuck, I hate knowing this shit sometimes.

    [–]notrustled 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    that's why you have to listen to other men when it comes to dealing with women, and not the crap that women come out with.

    true, but it's also important to be aware of what kind of a man you're dealing with in this case. many clueless BP guys give just as shitty advice as women tend to (based on my experience) - be selective about your source of information. but I'm just stating the obvious here.

    in fact society has got them thinking THEY'RE THE LUCKY ONES FOR GETTING THE GIRL!

    yeah, just totally give up all your demands and commit to anyone who gives you the passport to her panties - then wonder why are you getting fucked by some mediocre chick who you didn't even find hot (and not the way people usually like being fucked).

    it's a classic BP mistake to think you can entrust your insecurities/fears/secrets to your woman, you can't, and no matter how much she begs for you to open up, it's the most insidious of subconscious shit tests they pull

    wish I knew this like half a year ago...I learned this the hard way. in fact, so many fuckups I made became obvious for me only after I discovered this sub.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    "This is why part of the mind fuck of the red pill for many men is that she gets to seek out daddy in a man - and has a shot at getting that, but if you seek out mummy in a girl - you're going to be sorely disappointed. The game isn't fixed like that, nature gave women the better deal on that front, she gets to have the man of her dreams, but the girl of your dreams is a unicorn - SHE DOESN'T EXIST."


    Some of us had Red Pill parents.

    My dad had Amused Mastery and he was able to prevent my extremely manipulative and Charming mother from getting the best of him. My mom is 80 now and just as Charming and manipulative as ever... but I've attained Amused Mastery myself and accept that AWALT.

    I knew by the age of 12 that women were manipulative... any Unicorn concept died in my life in 1973.

    For me (and I'm now 54) the Red Pill represents the first signs of life that the West might actually wake up. I had largely given up on Western civilization for the last 15 years.

    [–]4delicioustreats 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Seems to me we off neglect to acknowledge that men can get this mother love elsewhere. A close group of men, brothers if you will, can support a man through tough times-- if nothing else this is what /r/theredpill is.

    As well men have throughout History sought both traits in different women.

    You have a comforter, lover of your youth, someone you've known forever and trust your emotional heart to. Sometimes this is completely unromantic. I've found this in the mother's of girlfriends at times, in my friends mom etc. They love you and support you without end. Unfortunately you have to break away from your own mother, unless your father is strong with her she will keep you a boy for life. She is the oxytocin and vasopressin. the heroin of your life. A warm soft hug.

    Finally you have your harem. For some this is a harem of one. This has to be precipitated lust. Straight cocaine. You master her, play her like a fiddle, fiddle with her in bed and fuck her like a Mongolian raider. She will yield her womb to your seed and blush out your clones in admiration. There will be no love for your weakness because she does not want to give birth to weakness, bit instead to life. You are the source of the life she simply has the duty to carry it to term.

    [–]the99percent1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Men, it is why you should always, always value your relationship with your mum. Your mum is basically your unicorn.

    She, along with my sister are the only two females in the world that I'd share my moment of weaknesses with. Most of the time, I don't.

    I know they are the only unconditional love I'll ever receive from a woman. Love them back dearly and never take them for granted.

    [–]changshuaidiao 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Women love men like men love their jobs.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Prostitutes have no respect for Johns. Which is why so many wives despise their husbands

    [–]Cubixdealer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    cause that is what each depended on for survivial

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (6 children)

    Had a gf for 7+ years. She left me last year when I was 26. Her looks were 6.5 but personality was 9.5. She was from eastern europe and her family was tighter than the brady bunch. My family was more like a top post from /r/raisedbynarcissists.

    It doesn't get more beta than this: I believe my ex provided the nurture I needed to heal from the emotional wounds that my mother inflicted upon me from years of neglect and verbal abuse, particularly during my childhood.

    I believe eastern women are different, even though AWALT still holds, there seems to be meaningful difference. They value stable families more than western women do. To say that a man's love is better than an eastern woman's just feels wrong cuz of how much my ex sacrificed for me, which was more than I did for her. Her favorite phrase when I was being a cunt was, "I have enough love for the both of us." Worked every time.

    She eventually broke up with me - the day after I was diagnosed with severe depression, in fact (AWALT heh). But ultimately this was the first cause of my transformation into a complete badass.

    To claim that a man's love is better is a bit disengenuous in my opinion. How do you define or measure love? I personally believe that a woman's love is better for humanity (alphas reproduce), and a man's love is better for society (creates stability).

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

    I believe eastern women are different, even though AWALT still holds, there seems to be meaningful difference.

    They are not so far along the spectrum of AWALT. (I need to do that AWALT post because so many people seem confused by this concept and need cognitive dissonance reconciled.) But essentially, say western women are 9/10's on the AWALT scale, eastern women will vary between 3-7 (depending on family.) They're the same at the fundamental level, the same rules apply, but how harshly those rules come into effect vary. Basically, they allow you more mistakes before they ditch your ass. She had good family and wasn't too pretty (6.5 = less options, so more grateful and will put up with more from a guy.)

    To claim that a man's love is better is a bit disengenuous in my opinion.

    You're thinking heavily with emotion, and I will respect the sanctity of that because it sounds like you've been through a lot (and probably aren't over this girl) - however unfortunately that doesn't stop me from disagreeing with you on this point. I wont argue your emotions, because that is futile, they are yours to process and I do not wish to disrespect them. It's probably for the best we agree that we disagree on this point and leave it at that.

    It doesn't get more beta than this: I believe my ex provided the nurture I needed to heal from the emotional wounds that my mother inflicted upon me from years of neglect and verbal abuse, particularly during my childhood.

    You've proved my point that men can't "look for their mother in a woman, have their cake, and eat it." She loved you in the way that she could, she helped you heal, she is a good woman, but ultimately she's still just a woman. Not even her sensibilities were enough for her to transcend her nature - you were weak - she healed you and left instead of just leaving you without helping you, but she still left you for being weak. A man doesn't leave a woman he fixed because she was weak and "shouldn't have needed fixing." We make women what we need them to be, women hope they just "find the right man." That is the difference in our love, men go further.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Your point system just seems to describe how hypergamous would be. Does the AWALT scale measure solipism, or other factors?

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Does the AWALT scale measure solipism, or other factors?

    Yes. AWALT applies to many things: solipsism, hypergamy, branch-swinging, AF/BB. All of that stuff. Culture and upbringing don't undo the hardwired programming, just what it takes for these behaviours to show. Eastern cultures tend to suppress it, whereas western culture actually encourages it (eg: incentivising divorce instead of disincentivising it.)

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I can respect that.

    Yeah, I still have oneitis. Haven't cried over her for over a month, though! Progress!

    But it seems like you're judging love based on a male value system of loyalty.

    • Do you have a crazy desire to eat pussy like girls do to suck dick?

    • Do you love kids like girls do?

    • Are you an asshole even when you're in a good mood, like me?

    Lets take the "women are children" example and add "men are parents." Does a child's love outweigh his/her parents' love? It's a tough question.

    [–]totorox 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Warning: out of line for this sub. Skip this.

    She eventually broke up with me - the day after I was diagnosed with severe depression, in fact (AWALT heh). But ultimately this was the first cause of my transformation into a complete badass.

    So she did it for you.

    You really found a personality unicorn, a real giver, a natural healer. She broke up with you because you needed to take your first flight away from the nest of her surrogate mom protection.

    To claim that a man's love is better is a bit disengenuous in my opinion.

    You had a relationship with an aligned and effective spiritual healer. Your testimony is a beautiful exception to the rules. It's as if you had dated an elf.

    If I get back to Earth for redpill's sake, I'll say you were a project of hers. By healing you she proved something to herself (and healed her symbolic dad or inner man role model or something), and now she's ready to commit to Mr Right, a strong man who deserves her(*). Even so, in your place I'd be really thankful and grateful to her and to providence for having led her my way. That it happened means that you deserved it, and you proved it by becoming badass after her bout of helping. Thank her and providence by passing the gift around: by helping others when you can.

    Sorry TRP, this is out of line;) I know.

    (*) although I hope she keeps being an elf healer instead and becomes an androgynous spiritual guide:)

    Craziness aside, there is something to say about the healing abilities of loving (or investing:) women. I didn't meet an elf but I did go through that type of healing through women nonetheless. Overbearing mothers destroy sons in ways that only good women can heal.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I forgot mention my family was rich and hers wasn't.

    Thanks for the comment ;)

    [–]uppermostless 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I agree with a lot of what you have said since I have been browsing this sub. You have given me insights on a lot of things I couldn't quite put my words on to and, funny enough, my english writing - it being my second language - has improved a lot reading posts and blogs of your quality of language. For that, I want to say thank you.

    Now, most of us apply the concept of AWALT. This is the idea that ALL women are the same no matter how they were raised or what environment they grew in. Hardwired programming can be stronger than any of us. Their irrational need to express and talk about their feelings is comparable to our constant sexual urges to fuck bitches.

    But there is a room for exception. If there is an exception to the 2nd law of physics i.e. the law of force, why the fuck can't there be an exception and from there, the existence of an unicorn? Do most people choose to discard this idea because it looks impossibly hard to find and because it is better to be at peace believing it cannot be real that a woman are all shit? Deep down within each of us, we want to believe it exist.

    Now, some men may have labeled women with the unicorn tag a little quickly, which has happened to most of us me included, and got fucked over it. But I can't be entirely convinced even by reading the horror stories that can be found here. Whether I would be called a fool or not, I know I have recently met one. If yourself or anyone that reads this doubts that is possible, I will gladly write a post on why I think she is one. From there, I will happily welcome any form of criticism over how I am defining it and how I am perceiving it. Maybe I can even learn from it and realize that I may have been blinded.

    Cheers!

    [–]EarnestMalware 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    The most often used word for a woman who really loves a shitty guy is 'saint' for a reason.

    [–]Evolved_Red 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You're lucky to have her. No, she's lucky to have me.

    I've touched on this before: Its absolute fallacy that women are always deemed the prize, especially the attractive ones. But this is how the world turns and only red-pilled brethren can truly understand the work it takes to land a quality woman: confidence, self worth, healthy lifestyle, mentally stimulating. Doesn't fall for her bullshit. All that doesn't come overnight.

    A man like that has put the hard work in. I'm lucky to have her? Shit, she's lucky to have me.

    [–]FallenHighSchoolJock 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    good male friends are your only real refuge: not a woman

    Don't completely alienate yourself from women though, having a few female friends kicking around will come in handy when setting up jealousy traps.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    few female friends kicking around will come in handy when setting up jealousy traps.

    This... totally. Just the name of a female friend of mine would set my ex off into a delicious jealous rage. Just the possibility I might have seen this friend would elicit the green eyed monster. I was careful to neither confirm nor deny.

    Got to play it subtle. Just enough to trigger it. Don't overdo it. Try to get the trigger on a possibility. Always speak well of your female friend but never sexually (too obvious). Make accidental mistakes so it seems genuine.. "she's attractive... I mean kinda boyish and not my type at all. I like how friendly she is".

    Ahhh... hilarious.

    [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    What you are describing is known as letting the hamster do the work for you. She believes you're speaking womanese because when she or any other woman talks like that about another man, it's powertalk for something more going on. You're speaking in a way that provides plausible deniability, exactly how women naturally communicate. This sets off a false alarm that turns on the emergency power generator (hamster).

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    this is a great observation, thankyou :)

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My ex would go on a jealousy fit if I said "a girl"

    [–]PandaMania3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Society Is screwed.

    It's all about "Be nice to Woman, Treat them Good, You have to give them respect"

    But I've seen enough, heard enough, learn enough that it's not how the world works. One RP filled article I read back in my Beta days stands true the moment I embrace TRP concepts.

    "Bing Nice to girls so hoping to be able to fuck them, is a sick Mentality."

    Never been so true. Stop being nice, be respected or be stepped on.

    Woman will forever have their own "justification" (Hamster Hamster!) For everything. Just chuck them aside.

    [–]starvinmarvin30 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I thought I found a unicorn in my college sweetheart. She wasn't needy or selfish. She had always allowed me to follow my different passions and hobbies. She was always supportive of all my career choices. She understood my need for "guy time." She wasn't jealous nor did she display any signs of jealousy towards other women. In fact she would genuinely compliment other girls which I found refreshing. I thought I had found the woman that could love me for who I was.

    Well here's what happened. We ended up having 2 kids. I quit my job after the 2nd child was born to be a stay at home dad. I made this decision to allow her to grow her home business and save on child care costs. A month after my youngest was born my father died from a stroke. I was devastated. I tried to remain strong but continued to become a weaker version of myself each day. I lost weight and muscle mass. I lost my swagger . I became an emotional and temperamental person.

    Long story short, she initiated the break up a year after my father passed, stating the only reason why she didn't break up sooner was because she felt obligated to stay with me during my time of depression. Her business continues to thrive while I'm back playing catch up in my professional career.

    I lived my life for this woman. I cooked for her, cleaned for her, took care of the kids everyday so she can play business woman. I did all of this while dealing with depression from my father's death. Yet she can only recall the bad moments throughout our 8 year relationship and none of the unconditional love I gave her and our two sons.

    Never show your weakness to her. Never let her see you cry. Never live your life for her. The sad part of this story is that I still want to love her unconditionally and its been over a year since we've broken up.

    [–]erniesmoove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fuck, this sounds like the back of my head.

    I feel for you brother.

    Sometimes when you are doing all youre best to not show weakness it still pops from the cracks and she transforms into a monster that wants to kill you.

    How do we even handle this? Life will always throw shit at you and now you have to watch out that youre bitch doesnt feel that it is affecting you so she wont try to throw shit at you too.

    Now I realize why my father didnt cried when his brother died from cancer.

    [–]docbloodmoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    it always pisses off snowflakes and people who haven't really swallowed the red pill

    case in point, thebluepill vote brigading this thread

    [–]Black-Pill 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    It is interesting and relevant to me that this post appeared as I have been contemplating a similar post that I was going to title "Women and the Emotional Narrative" The gist being that women don't "love" us. Love is a male generated concept (Ideal) that requires logic,loyalty and commitment. Women are almost purely emotional beings and so they cannot and will not "love" a man in the way men define that term.

    [–]totorox -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Well, devaluing emotions in absolute is silly. Sentiment is higher but it's tied to emotions. Women have a hard time taking distance from their ego but when they're healthy and good-willed they can do a world of good. Also the male mind, by virtue of being able to separate itself from the object of its contemplation, is more easily prone to luciferianism i.e. radical service to self, or dark triad qualities as you label it here.

    Dont diss the Female input too much. Cosmically and collectively they're as important and valuable as the male one is [grammar jump intended]. You can call them immature beasts and they can call you twisted, lost bastards that need their help to be redeemed and realigned with life's purposes. As a collective women and what they carry are nothing to scoff at. This war of the sexes might die down a bit if we recognized the inherent divinity of the other sex a little bit more. We carry a shitload of baggage good and bad, spiritually and genetically speaking.

    [–]Black-Pill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I am not devaluing emotion (or women for that matter) I am stating a premise about the view and definition of the word "love" and how it relates to modern social/sexual dynamics

    [–]totorox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah but in "Women are almost purely emotional beings and so they cannot and will not "love" a man in the way men define that term" it is implied that women do feel love, but that this feeling (emotion) doesn't qualify as love as men understand the word, because men don't just feel it, they also use other abilities to support it. So yeah it is, isn't it, a devaluing of emotions compared to higher, more mindy, or sentiment-type cognition. Right?

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Cosmically and collectively they're as important and valuable as the male one is

    Sure... but what you describe is not suitable for the relationship most of them demand.

    They are simply not good enough to get what they need from us.

    [–]totorox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know man, and that's actually the point I'm implying. Want men to respect you, women? Why don't you bring out those divine qualities you do have, so we can do that? Want "feminism" in a good healthy sense? Want female pride? GO AHEAD. We'd love to see that.

    But no. Their good stuff they keep unconscious, limbic, liminal. We know and love the divine feminine. But please, let it speak up more!

    (And no, that isn't the satanic goddess worship based on self-centerdness radfems are so fond of)

    [–]CD_Johanna 1 point2 points  (8 children)

    Wait, why would a man love any woman unconditionally? (12 in the constitution)

    If your girlfriend/wife cheated on you, you would have to be a complete cuckhold to take her back.

    What is the author getting at with the unconditional statement in 12?

    [–]4delicioustreats -1 points0 points  (7 children)

    Actually, many find their relationships are stronger after an affair. This is due to the rebalancing of power. Usually he'll grow a pair, learn what she's really like and stand up to her. This doesnt have to mean divorce, after all AWALT. If he doesnt man up, she'll cheat again and again until either a) she's so bored she divorces him or b) he does man up.

    Now, ladies, don't take this as a license to "man him up". Any relationship in which he mans up without an affair occurring will be far superior to a relationship with one.

    [–]CD_Johanna 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I thought one of TRPs main tenets is to not let a woman disrespect you, with cheating being the most egregious form of disrespect? Maybe because I'm young, but I could never see myself taking back a girl who cheated on me.

    [–]4delicioustreats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There are varieties in opinion. I'd be quick to say if there isn't marriage or kids involved then may as well next. However unwinding a decade of marriage or only seeing your kids 50%/of the time may not be what many men want. As the post says, men are the source of love. Without your love, your children's mother is just a cistern, soon she'll be dry as desert and will pull the life out of your kids too.

    A woman can respect any man despite his past, she is oft simply a sort of mirror of himself. When she cheats, he can see in the mirror that he was weak, lacking, or failed in his strategy. This is a call to action for sure but that action need not be abandon ship. It could be "first mate, put out that fire. There is mutiny in the ranks and it will not stand." It's really context dependent cheating has such a variety of forms that the response need be suitably varied. A tinder account followed by repentance is different than serially fucking other men and faux remorse.

    Naturally, any form of cheating opens the door to ending it. Its really up to the man, no matter which way he goes it must be his.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I believe that if you don't leave a woman after she has lost all respect for you, ie; cheating, then you deserve to be nothing more than a cuckold.

    Stand up for yourself, grow a pair of balls and a backbone, recognize that you weren't man enough to keep her interested and that you let some other alpha fuck your girl. Do better on the next one.

    The only option at that point is to walk run the fuck away.

    [–]4delicioustreats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Your position ignores the statistics around infidelity and marriage. We do agree, however, if its a "lesser" commitment.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    No. You are an enabler if you believe that. If you're not trashing her after she's cheated on you, then you are not doing your part to change our dissented society. Once women know that there is a major consequence for that behavior, it won't happen as often as it does now. And if there's no remorse or fear of that consequence to begin with, then guess what? She'll never stop doing it, no matter how ' strong ' your hamsters tell you the relationship gets. In fact, that might even be an incentive for a woman to cheat. She gets her dick fix, AND the false hope of strengthening the relationship afterwards. That's like cosmo-esque type of content.

    [–]4delicioustreats 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Its true that a hamster is going to spin. And they may spin this idea into "I'm doing it for our marriage". I seriously doubt that kind of hamster is reading trp.

    You also have missed the male side of the equation . that many men are more willing to " plate" a married woman. Its probably the worst part of this community-- the braggarts that come out with Field Reports on married women. IMO that is just as scummy as the naive feminist movement.

    Anyways, you missed my whole point that an affair may be a wakeup call for men who were going to lose their wife either way. If he can man up, then he then has his pick of women. His pick may be her.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ok, I can see the angle you're taking with it. I think you could have said it a little differently, but I think I get the point you've made.

    [–]Soriq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I have nothing of value to add. Just stopping by to say you are still a fucking genius...

    [–]RedTheFuckUp 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Great post as always. I read Models this weekend and Mark is under the impression that vulnerability is a good thing. Not showing weakness but showing everything about yourself regardless of anyone will think. Could you share your thoughts about vulnerability?

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Could you share your thoughts about vulnerability?

    You can use it as chick crack/baby bait/fishing tackle (honestly, pick whatever terms you like - you get my drift) - because when used correctly, chicks dig the hell out of this shit. But IMO, it has to be "superficial vulnerability" you tell a girl something she thinks is meaningful and profound that paints you in a weak/vulnerable light, but it's not actually a deep dark secret that'd hurt you in argument, or anything that'd freak her out to make her more insecure about your ability to head the relationship.

    For example, telling a girl you were scared of the dark as a kid (but you've overcome that now) is the only way I believe a man should ever use vulnerability as a tool. Manson's models gets mentioned time and time again, consensus between all the people I've spoken to about it is that the vulnerability section is purple pill at best. Some guys thought it was fucking ridiculous. You have to tread carefully when using this, make something up and seem so indifferent to it now that you've overcome it (oh wow he's been through so much!) or just saying your fear/vulnerability is something so inconsequential it barely matters "I used to dream I'd wake up paralysed, that's why I started running." You gotta sell it right and do it with confidence.

    Get me? Don't actually tell her that horrible thing that happened to you as a kid that still fucks with you from time-to-time. That's the kinda shit you tell your most trusted friends if anybody, not your girl. Your girl will fling that shit at you in an argument and part of you will never forgive her for being such a spiteful cunt. She may regret saying it the second she says it, "oh i'm soooo sorry I didn't mean it!!" but you can't take these things back - it shows you in those seconds just how low she's willing to stoop, and you will always resent how she did a shit on the sanctity of what you told her. Don't give yourself any more headaches than you need to, women are enough bullshit as it is. Honestly, I think Mark did more harm than good banging on about vulnerability. Naturally, women think it's an awesome idea "get him to tell us his secrets - yay!"

    [–]erniesmoove 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Nice input.

    But how do you handle events that are recently or currently happening?

    On my last LTR (6months) got my car robbed 2 times (wich costed allot of money to repair), my cellphone broke, got an almost surgery-ingury and on top of that had to take a momentary boring job.

    She lived pretty far away and I drove her spending my remanining bucks of my shitty salary on gas and was badly stressed for not being able to invite her out to a nice place.

    Shit, now i reflect how much I did for her, how much I had to go through and be strong to look like a man infornt of her, and she treated my like shit more and more as she saw me struggle. I think she must have felt pitty.

    How is this not being vulnerable? There are many things that I coudnt hide from her, things that impacted my happiness directly and that I was sure she was going to help me get through.

    But at the end she said: "I think you love me more than I do".

    Fuck you bitch.

    Its been 7 months since it ended, 3 months reading TRP and I still have that hate feeling.

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Its been 7 months since it ended, 3 months reading TRP and I still have that hate feeling.

    I'd channel that hate into something productive so that you can at least draw a positive from what happened. If you don't lift, now would be a great time to take it up. All that anger will really help you in the gym.

    [–]RedTheFuckUp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks for your input. Makes sense to me. I really liked his book but it reeked of blue pill fantasy. Vulnerability only when it's something that you're not vulnerable to anymore, and even then, used sparely. I felt like it also had to do with not giving a fuck. "This is me, I'm sexual, I'm aggressive, and I know what I want. If you don't like it, leave" but maybe I'm putting a TRP spin on what he was trying to say.

    [–]Washedupoaf 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Thank you for the excellent post. Yours was the first redpill blog I read at length. I appreciate the mind expanding experience you offered me, though you may not have known it. Keep kicking ass my friend

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for reading. I'm always looking to better refine the blog. Watch this space!

    [–]jsbieber2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'll second this as it's exactly true for me as well. I almost posted something incredibly similar in my short kudos reply earlier.

    [–]jsbieber2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fucking ace as usual. Love your posts and your website is solid. Cheers.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    you hit this out of the park--- Men cant BE loved BY women in the same way that they love women.

    A painful lesson but once its internalized then navigating relationships really gets better

    [–]REE93 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    THIS is why I'm subbed to TRP. If I had internet money, I'd gild you. But they say it's the thought that counts ;)

    [–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Not necessary. Just read my blog and I'm happy. Appreciate the sentiment though!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it's a classic BP mistake to think you can entrust your insecurities/fears/secrets to your woman, you can't

    Over the past months I have been fixing my relationship with my partner, largely by following the essential elements of RP thinking. This is working well. Very recently though I had a talk with her where I had to make some statements beginning "I feel...". This was a carefully thought-out tactic, and in service of a greater goal which I won't go into here, but I did wonder before implementing this what the consequences might be. In general, she's not much inclined to shit testing, and in many ways is quite unlike the typical RP idea of a woman - yet she is predictable in some standard ways. Over the past few months shit testing has dwindled to nearly nothing, though, and things have been going well.

    Note my conversation wasn't sharing my deepest insecurities, it was in fact done from a position of confidence, but it did involve showing some vulnerability. It wasn't even one day and the basic shit tests were back, and she's niggling at me over little things. So I'm back to primary strategies, I'll give it a few days and all will be right again. Sigh.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Women are so fucking flawed they don't even realise how flawed they are, that's why you have to listen to other men when it comes to dealing with women, and not the crap that women come out with.

    This explains so much of the self contradictory drivel that comes out of their mouths.

    [–]AlexanderTheGreatly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    TIL my dream girl is a unicorn.

    [–]deville05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Like chris rock/dave chapelle said.. A woman's test in life is material. A man's test in life.. Is a woman.

    [–]gweneverexoxo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    i really like this post. there qas a period of my anger phase that i felt exactly the same way. men give and women take. love is all in my head. no woman in the world can love me the way that i can love them.

    but passing the anger phase, i realized that the "love" you are talkibg about is not love either. beta love is not love, men sacrificing themselves abd kissing the floor women walk on hoping that their "goddess" would bless them with sex is not love. beta can never love they think of it as a tit for tat equation, i dacrifice for you and you have sex with me.

    of course, im not sayong women know how to love either, but when you think about it women's love is similarto that of a beta male love: they love someone they can have. much like how men kiss the floor of their goddess, women throw themselves at the feet of their percieved high value men, sacrificing their virginity etc for them.

    in the end, idont think "love" in the traditional fairy tale sense exists,

    [–]gweneverexoxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    continued: sorry, on cell phone, some kind of character count limit.

    that type of we both sacrifice for each othe love does no exist, rather we must accept reality and learn to embrace the type of "love" that does exist: captainhood.

    woman cant love us the way that we would want them to, but they do want is someone to look up to and someone to follow. you would realize that women love via respect and acknowledgenent. be that type of person for her and she would continue to be your fifrstmate.

    sadly the captain cannot be friends with the first mate, learn that we can only be friends with someone equal to us in status. if you must open up and share your stress and emotions with someone else, find another captain to drink and talk with. no woman can substitute that ppsition.

    this is just the way the world is, accepting it is the first step. i think that alot of people in trp arent really looking for love. i think they are looking for sex and friendship, but made the mistake thinking that they can obtain both from the same person.

    [–]SugarFreeFries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Women are so fucking flawed they don't even realise how flawed they are

    Going to have to disagree with you here, they are not flawed they are very efficient, masters at what they do, so good in fact they don't realise they're doing it.

    [–]Moldy_Gecko -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I know you typically post decent shit, but this repeated topic is more than satisfactorily covered in the sidebar and the other 100 times it has been posted about.

    [–]Wish_I_Was_Savvy -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

    is my reddit broken or this on frontpage?